New York City
Madison Square Garden
Apocalypse
I couldnt believe it. I was shocked. I had lost. After all that training. After all that hard work. I lost. As I laid there in the ring, dazed, I listened to the crowd. They were silent. I probably could have heard a pin drop if I had listened close enough. The only thing I did hear was Titus raspy breath as he rolled out of the ring. He looked pale as a ghost. There was no smirk on his face. He didnt stop to gloat. He walked up the ramp and disappeared as quickly as he could. It was then that I realized that I was looking at a desperate man. And thats when I realized why I had lost.
I groaned and slammed my fists into the canvas. Titus had sacrificed everything to beat me; even the rest of his pride. He must of have felt like a corned animal. And for that reason, I had underestimated him. I screamed in frustration. I clawed at the canvas. My cries of anguish were engulfed by a sudden barrage of heavy boos as the crowd exploded in rage. From the front rows, I heard swears and jeers. Some fans threw trash. A half full cup of beer narrowly missed my face, spilling behind me as it bounced off the canvas. I tensed up. I was suddenly very scared. I had never seen a crowd react like this before.
As I rolled out of the ring, I heard fans shouting every expletive in the book. As I limped up the ramp, I heard one fan cry Ill kill that motherfucker! Security was called. The raucous fans had to be calmed. I took one last look at the ring, now covered in soda, beer, plastic cups, and my blood, sweat, and tears. My pain had become the fans pain. My anguish was now their anguish. Despite this, I heard no words of comfort. No one cheered me. No one tried to pat me on the back to tell me that everything was going to be alright. No one had tried to thank me for my effort. I had lost. I had let everyone down. I was a failure.
Utterly humiliated, I disappeared.
New York City
JFK International Airport
Bound for Chicago
Derrick had been waiting for me after the show. We left discreetly after he had loaded my bags into the taxi. I had the feeling that no fan would want anything to do with me now. We sat in silence the whole time. I was too ashamed to even look him in the eye. I was still burned out from the match. Now that I had some time to think about it, I suppose I could claim a moral victory for myself. I had pushed Titus to the limits like no one had ever done before. And after this, I doubt anyone would take his boasting seriously. He was walking a thin line. But I wasnt happy with that. I wanted to win. Holding that title would have justified everything that I had sacrificed up until now; I didnt know what to do at this point. Everything felt hollow.
The prospect of being thrust into Gold Rush wasnt very appealing. Against my better judgement I had placed most of my eggs into the basket at Apocalypse, hoping to dethrone Titus. The rest of the eggs that I had saved were not looking forward to the effort of having to go through four rounds of grueling eliminations for another shot at glory. I seriously doubted that I had that much left in the tank. Tired and depressed, I could do nothing but wallow in my own self-pity. Walking through the airport, I felt eyes on me. Some were silently showing me the sympathy that I so desperately craved. Perhaps it was my own pride that prevented me from crying. I was a big girl. I knew deep down that I could take a loss and keep going. Seeing these strangers faces, and their smiles, and their little nods of encouragement brought a little light to my world of darkness.
But on the other hand, I saw looks of scorn. Apathy. One man turned his nose up at me, another scoffed as he narrowed his eyes at me. I heard one woman proclaim underneath her breath not my hero, as she walked past. Perhaps I deserved that. The fans had cried out for a hero to knock that jerk off his high horse, and all I had delivered was another disappointing performance. I quickly hid my face. I couldnt deal with this right now. My self- loathing was quickly turning into hatred for every single one of these hypocrites that were turning against me. I stopped and clenched my fist. I stared up at Derrick as his eyes met mine. I tried to relay all the pain that I was feeling, as we sat and waited to board the plane.
I know you tried your best Kagura...
That was all he had to say? It was like I was begging him for something else. To praise me. To tell me that everything was going to be okay. To reassure me that I wasnt like the garbage that the fans had hurled at me following the match.
He smiled,
And no matter what happens, Im always going to be your biggest fan.
My face contorted as my eyes watered. I buried my face into his shoulder and cried. I was silent, but my despair was strong, like a cacophony that fell on deaf ears. I no longer wanted pity. This was now my burden to bear. I had to move forward any way that I could. Derrick held me close, stroking my hair.
---
I fell asleep shortly after takeoff. I was emotionally exhausted. In my dreams, I found myself back in the ring. I heard Titus laughing at me as he held the Eurasian championship above his head. Enraged I tried to lunge at him, but he was too fast for me to catch.
Come back here you bastard! I screamed.
I gasped as his face blurred and disappeared, slowly being replaced by another. I saw bright pink twin tails flash before me as Batti Otaku materialized before me. She wore the Elite championship proudly around her waist. She looked at me as if I were a lost puppy.
What, have you come to laugh at me too, Batti?
Shortly before Apocalypse she had approached me offering to formally bury the hatchet. I had accepted. After we talked I found myself growing closer to her. We were two women with similar goals. Fighting for similar beliefs. Even if our personalities were different, I found our hearts resonated and I saw her as a kindred spirit. We had planned to celebrate together after Apocalypse after we won, but where she has succeeded I had failed. I felt worthless again.
She reached out and poked me in forehead before pulling down on her eyelid and blowing me a raspberry.
Baka!
I shook, enraged at the teasing. Her face suddenly disappeared, only to be replaced by Justin Coopers. The reigning world champion had shocked everyone by revealing himself to be the true mastermind behind Vis Imperium. The group that now held a stranglehold on the company, wrapped around Kenneth Banks finger, using his wealth and influence to suppress the rest of us. To the one lucky enough to win the Gold Rush would have to go through Cooper at the end. No small task. Like a vulture, hed be waiting to pick the bones of the carcass of the winner, with his lackeys at his side. I saw the faces of Xander Lebelle and Andrew Adonis materialize behind him. Two lackeys that I couldnt defeat.
I heard a voice laugh,
Kagura? She should just give up; she has no hope of defeating me.
I gripped my head and swung wildly at all the figures in front of me. Trying to shut them all up; trying to get the laughter to stop. I saw a third figure materialize. It was former tag team champion Mark Keaton. He smirked as I saw his shadow loom over me. It felt heavy. I could feel an enormous pressure bearing down on me.
You want to fight? I shouted.
I felt something hit me as my breath suddenly caught itself in the back of my throat. I was choking. I could feel the natural energy of my surroundings. I could see fragments of myself in a match against him in the future. Was this a premonition? Was Mark Keaton my next opponent? No doubt that I would be entering the Gold Rush whether I felt like fighting or not.
Fine! Ill take you on. Ill take all my frustrations out on you! Im not done yet. Im not done-
The floor began to shake. An earthquake was rocking the arena. I saw the ring split open as a ghastly pale arm suddenly shot out from the bottom and engulfed my body. The ring gave away, as I was pulled into a black abyss. Locked in the grip of the monster as she bore down on top of me. The onryo was still haunting me. I had disowned her. I had cast her aside with such confidence. And now she was back to collect my soul.
No! Get away from me!
Try as I might I couldnt escape. Was this my fate? As the ghost began to devour me I heard the voice again screaming at me. It was the same one that I had been hearing from the beginning.
Theres no hope!
No hope!
You have no hope!
I screamed, jolting myself awake. The rest of the passengers on the plane were staring at me like I had lost my mind. I couldnt even hear Derrick as he called my name. I couldnt feel his embrace as he held my arm. The stewardess came to check on me. By his own recollection, he would later tell me that my eyes were filled with pure terror. I stared forward, as if lost in a trance. We landed in Chicago shortly afterwards.
Chicago, Il
Outside a Hotel Marriot
2 days later
It seemed as if my premonition had been true. I had been inserted in the Gold Rush tournament, and my first opponent was to be Mark Keaton. Now that I had been afforded some time to think about it, I was slowly coming around to the idea of throwing myself head first into the fray once more. All for the sake of glory. I had nothing to lose at this point.
I had to move forward. I didnt care what the fans thought about me. They had built me up to be a hero, and when I failed to take down Titus they turned on me. I had bought into my own hype. That was my mistake. I was still using the skills that I had stolen from Sasuke. If I had defeated Titus, would I have been satisfied? Surely I would have been in the same predicament; losing my mind. Only then I would have been champion, while he still lay comatose in a hospital.
It was only then that I came to realize that I would never be ready mentally to fulfill my dream until I completely ridded myself of the book and its curse. I didnt need anyones help to be successful. I realized that now. And If I had one wish, it would be to undo everything that I had done. But despite that, I wasnt strong enough to break the curse on my own. It was like an addiction. I was trapped. I didnt know what to do. A myriad of thoughts ran through my mind.
Fighting was my only real option
I had to fight for my honor, my sanity, and my happiness.
There was no other way
And I hated that.
I wanted a way out. Anything. And thats how I came to find myself, alone in the alley behind the hotel in the middle of the night. I was going to offer myself to the ghost. And before you judge me, I know that Im a hypocrite. Against my better judgement; against everything I knew to be true, I was going to do the opposite. I was weak. I didnt care anymore.
A single tear rolled down my cheek as I took the book, stolen from Derricks bag, and set it on the ground. I opened it to the page containing the ritual that I had performed on my former mentor. I had left him a dried-up husk. That was my burden to bear.
It grew cold. I felt the onryos presence choking me. I wasnt scared anymore. I knew I wasnt strong enough to defeat her, and this loss to Titus had broken me. If I was destined to become a demon, then I would do just that. I would use that power and run roughshod through the company. I would rip out my opponents entrails and drink their blood. Their heads would be on display as my trophies. Their souls I would lock in purgatory for all eternity. I didnt need fans. I didnt need allies. I didnt need love.
Out of the abyss I heard the icy voice call to me,
Very good, Kagura!
I gripped the side of my body and screamed as the onryo grabbed me and bore down. Such was the nature of addiction. And this curse had been my drug all along. Even though I was constantly surrounded by people, I felt alone. That was maddening. There were times when I seriously contemplated taking my own life to escape it all, but then I realized that the curse probably would have followed me into the afterlife. Maybe even turning me into an onryo as I sought to destroy someone elses life. No. I would live. Even if my only motivation was to destroy everything in my path.
Now, give yourself to me.
I collapsed to the ground. I vaguely heard a voice calling my name. But did it matter anymore? Derrick had arrived to see me collapse to the ground below. He had been trying to find me ever since I had left the room. I thought I had been discreet. I cursed his good hearing.
Kagura, wake up! Whats going on? Why did you leave the hotel room?
He glanced down, noticing the book. Unbeknownst to me was a bottle of pills in my right hand. He grabbed them. Painkillers. Oxycodone. He swore. My body had gone limp without me even realizing it.
Come on Kagura, wake up! How many of these did you take?
He flipped open his phone and immediately dialed the paramedics.
---
So, this was what its like to hit rock bottom. When your friends and allies turn their backs on you. When you work yourself to the bone and have nothing left to give. When crippling depression takes its toll. When the paranoia is so great that you feel like you can trust no one. Concussions. Torn ligaments. Sprains. And heartache upon heartache chipping away at your psyche leaving little left. The demons that you chase begin chasing you.
I hadnt meant for this to happen
I simply wanted an escape from all the stress.
Chicago, Il.
Rush University Medical Center: Emergency room
The next morning
When I awoke, I wasnt sure what had happened. I found Derrick sleeping in a chair beside me. Apparently, I had blacked out. I hadnt remembered anything from the night before. Except that I was fighting the onryo, like I had always been. He stirred.
Youre awake.
I nodded. I wrote down on a piece of paper, asking him what had happened.
You overdosed on painkillers. You were rushed here late last night. I didnt even know that you were taking them. For how long?
I shrugged. A couple of months.
Youve been chasing that demon of yours for a long time Kagura. I still dont believe in the supernatural, but Ive watched you struggle with this so badly, that maybe, In a way, Ive come to believe in it too. I love you. And all I wanted to do was to save you. From yourself. All this time, I wasnt sure how to do it, but last night I think I found a way.
He opened his hand as scraps of paper fell to the floor. I caught a glimpse of one of the pieces. It was part of the page to my ritual. My eyes widened. I couldnt believe it. I turned to him and mouthed,
how?
What was the last thing you remember?
I had given up all hope. I felt the onryo on top of me; I was losing my mind. I was being consumed by my hatred. But there was a light at the end of it all. I felt his embrace. He penetrated the darkness right as I was about to be completely eaten alive, and he kissed me. It was an act of pure love. His emotions. His feelings. I found that I was finally strong enough to let go. All this time, I had a guardian angel looking out for me.
I had two questions on my mind now. Was this finally over, and could I finally move forward? Only time would tell.