Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline - 11:59pm, 9th of August (Central Time)
All-Stars II: McSpinesmasher & Thunderbolt & Short vs. Jameson & Edwards & ???
- Thread starter Viola Moonlight
- Start date
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Muffin Top Merkley
Be a man!
A pink sun marks the twilight of a humid day. A previously sparking white private jet, now showing visible signs of distress is landing on a runway. A jet black limousine is parked on the runway, waiting for the jet to land. As it lands, it becomes evident that there is a subtle tilt to the plane as it leans to the left.
The planes door slowly opens. A large frame stands in the door frame belonging to a man in black sunglasses & a suit the same shade of white as the jet, but many sizes too small for the man it clothes. The bulbous frame turns sideways, allowing the man to exit the plane. As he steps onto the stairway outside of the plane, the plane recoils back with a rapid bounce as it attempts to even itself out. Five towering men, all of them wearing black t-shirts with the words "Hollywood Jameson" follow the man out of the plane, down the stairs to the awaiting limousine.
The doors of the limousine open & a man in the back of it wearing a dark beige suit, carrying a jet black briefcase runs out furiously muttering beneath his breath. His words get louder as the planes passengers approach
The planes door slowly opens. A large frame stands in the door frame belonging to a man in black sunglasses & a suit the same shade of white as the jet, but many sizes too small for the man it clothes. The bulbous frame turns sideways, allowing the man to exit the plane. As he steps onto the stairway outside of the plane, the plane recoils back with a rapid bounce as it attempts to even itself out. Five towering men, all of them wearing black t-shirts with the words "Hollywood Jameson" follow the man out of the plane, down the stairs to the awaiting limousine.
The doors of the limousine open & a man in the back of it wearing a dark beige suit, carrying a jet black briefcase runs out furiously muttering beneath his breath. His words get louder as the planes passengers approach
Chuck Myles: My god, its you! The company has been turned on its head again, and they want me to come out here and pick YOU up?! You? Of all people, why in the hell would they bring you back?! I cant believe it!
The man in the white suit stares blankly at Chuck Myles while attempting to suck off traces of the flavour of the last of many meals he inhaled on the plane. He extends his arm towards a member of his entourage who quickly and dutifully places a brown napkin from a fast-food restaurant into the outstretched hand. The man deliberately wipes of crumbs and grease from around his mouth and chin before handing the napkin back. He removes his glasses and places them neatly into the inside pocket of his jacket.
Hollywood Jameson: Chucky-M! What it do, son? You better start believe what your eyes are showing you, my friend. It took a while to take care of business and to get everything settled, but you are once again going to witness the next big thing in WZCW, Hollywood Jameson.
Chuck Myles: Big is an understatement. What the hell happened to you, Jameson? And dont ever call me son again.
Hollywood Jameson: Aint no thang, happened to me! Im as fly as I always have been, now theres a little more of me for the ladies to love, you feel me? Im big all over, baby! Especially where it counts! You picking up what Im laying down, homie?
A smirk appears on the face of Hollywood Jameson. What feels like a wink to Hollywood, appears as a blink to Chuck Myles as Hollywood begins to awkwardly thrust his pelvis and nods his head.
Chuck Myles: Unfortunately I do. I still cant believe WZCW is bringing you back for their Annual All-Star show. You had your chance and blew it after one match! You were an embarrassment AND a laughing stock long after you left and when youre finally out of the mind of the world, you come back. A-Lister or not, youre useless!
One of the hulking brutes surrounding Hollywood Jameson walks up the Chuck Myles, looking to pick a fight.
Hollywood Jameson: Tyrus, get the hell back here! What did I tell you last time?! You better recognize that you dont jump until I tell you, dawg!
Tyrus steps back, staring at Chuck Myles with a scowl on his face.
Hollywood Jameson: Please, excuse my boy Tyrus. He still gets riled up pretty quickly but its something were working on together, as a family. Right, fellas?
The five men surrounding Jameson nod in unison. Tyruss deep baritone voice softly apologizes as his brothas offer their encouragement.
Chuck Myles: Can we just get out of here? The heat is killing me so I can imagine what it is doing to a man with your build.
Hollywood Jameson: Chucky, Please! I have you know that most of this is pure muscle!
Hollywood attempts to flex. Front Double Bicep Pose. Crab Pose. Side Chest Pose. Hollywoods breathing begins to noticeably increase. Side Tricep Pose. Front Lat Spread Pose. Again, his breathing quickens. Read Double Bicep Pose. His breathing becomes audible to those near by. Rear Lat Spread Pose. Abs and Thigh Pose. The air released from his mouth with each exhale pushes beads of falling sweat towards Chuck Myles.
JayJay, another member of his entourage begins to wipe the sweat off of his face with a series of napkins. R-Dogg, passes Hollywood Jameson a milkshake in an attempt to lower his bodys temperature.
JayJay, another member of his entourage begins to wipe the sweat off of his face with a series of napkins. R-Dogg, passes Hollywood Jameson a milkshake in an attempt to lower his bodys temperature.
Hollywood Jameson: BELIEVE DAT!
Chuck Myles: Are you done yet?
Hollywood Jameson: Yes.
Chuck Myles: Good. Get your goons into the car. Were leaving.
Hollywood Jameson slowly lowers his body inside the limo, causing it to lean, the frame nearly hitting the ground. The five men of his entourage follow him. Tyrus stares back at Chuck Myles before entering the limo.
Hollywood Jameson attempts to stand up through the sunroof of the limousine, but only his head and neck are able to escape. He looks at Chuck Myles who has his head in his hands.
Hollywood Jameson: There you ago again, Chuckie-baby! Once again you were able to secure one of the biggest stars in all of entertainment. HOLLYWOOD JAMESON, is yo' newest All-Star superstar. And lemme tell you something, I promise you, you or anyone else ain't ever gonna regret this! I promise ya!"
Chuck stares at the limo, a grimace now covering his face, he now looks opposite of the celebrating man he was at the beginning of his "meeting" with Hollywood Jameson.
Chuck Myles: My god, what have I done Again!
Chuck walks into the limousine finally. The black limo drives off with Chuck, the entourage, & most importantly, Hollywood Jameson, all now wondering what the futures of WZCW & themselves shall look because of this day.
red ass skull muhfukkah
Dooooooooooooom
Facecrush McSpinesmasher is standing in line at a Dunkin Donuts somewhere in Northeastern America. Hes wearing nothing but a bloodstained loin cloth that barely covers his enormous genitalia. His massive, bulging muscles glisten with sweat. His long light brown hair is beautifully blowing as if a fan was blowing on it. The men in the establishment are all staring at him fearfully and the women lustfully.
Facecrush McSpinesmasher in a low whispering voice: Facecrush would rip out his mothers intestines for a chocolate frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles on it.
The man in front of him finishes his order and walks slowly by Facecrush, doing his best not to anger the angry man.
Woman at counter: Can I take your order sir?
Facecrush McSpinesmasher: Chocolate frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles, please and thank you.
Woman at counter: Im sorry sir were all out at the moment but we have plenty of regular chocolate frosted donuts and chocolate sprinkled ones as well.
Facecrush McSpinesmasher: Your stupidity offends Facecrush. Do you expect a man of my size, who has such exquisite taste buds as these
Facecrush opens his mouth to show off his buds.
Would dare eat a chocolate frosted donut without rainbow sprinkles? Facecrush was going to penetrate you willingly from the front after he ate his donut but after a comment like that Facecrush thinks hell penetrate you forcefully from the back after he finds out who took the last donut.
Woman at counter: It was that guy getting into that red Toyota Camry right there, he bought the last one!
Facecrush spins around quickly and searches for the man. He spots him and the man spots him spotting him. The mans eyes grow wide with fear and he quickly gets in his car and drives away. Facecrush roars in anger and punches the counter, smashing it in two. He sprints out the door, punching an older patron in the face as he does, crushing it.
The man who took Facecrushs donut is driving down a highway with forests around it. Hes eating the donut as he drives. He stops for a moment to look in his rearview mirror then shakes his head.
Donut stealing guy: I must be going crazy, I thought that guy from Dunkin Donuts was coming up over the horizon.
He continues to eat his donut finishing it in two bites and licking his fingers. He jumps at the sound of a loud scream. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees Facecrush sprinting towards his car.
Donut guy: Oh shit!
He speeds up and goes as fast as he can. He looks in his mirror again and Facecrush is gaining on him.
Donut guy: What the hell is this guy?
Facecrush gets close to the back of the car and punches the trunk causing the car to stop. He grabs the trunk of the car and lifts it over his head. He spins around with it a few times and hurls it off of a nearby cliff. It lands deep in a forest.
The donut guy is crawling out of his car, his face covered in blood and glass. He looks up at the sky and sees Facecrush coming down towards him. Facecrush slams his knees into the spine of the man, smashing it. He grabs the man by his hair
Facecrush: Thats what you get for stealing Facecrushs donut. Facecrush was having a good morning until you ruined it for him. Facecrush wants to know which hole you prefer he rips your stomach out of.
Donut guy: Dont you get it Facecrush, I had to take that donut. If you knew what I knew you would have taken it too. It was worth the risk and all this pain.
Facecrush: What are you talking about? Facecrush doesnt understand.
Donut guy: Dont you see, havent you seen the patterns. There are no more chocolate frosted donuts with rainbow sprinkles on them and theres never going to be any again. I had to take it; it was the last one ever.
Facecrush: Who is to blame for this? Tell Facecrush and he will murder them.
Donut guy: Its this crazy right wing group called the C.A.R.S.D., aka the Coalition Against Rainbow Sprinkled Donuts. They believe that rainbow sprinkled donuts are the tools of the left wing media. They believe those donuts are the reason society is spiraling into moral decay. Those sprinkles to them represent approval of same sex marriage, interracial dating, and communism. Theyve been going around the country breaking into all the donut shops at night and stealing all their rainbow frosted donuts. I heard a rumor from my friend on the internet that they have a ware house where theyre secretly keeping them all. I wrote down the address, its on a piece of paper in my glove box. A few of my friends and I were going to sneak in one night and try to take a few. You must stop them Facecrush, you must free the rainbow sprinkled donuts. Not just for you and not just for me but for the good of humanity. Youre our only hope.
Facecrush: Facecrush will go to this place and rape everyone in that building until he gets his donut. Facecrush thanks you for telling him this but apologizes that he still must rip out your stomach and eat it. You wronged him so you must die painfully and he has not had a rainbow sprinkled donut in 4 hours so he must feast on your insides to gain its nutrients.
Facecrush throws his hand into the mans stomach and rips it out. The man screams in terror before Facecrush stomps on his face, crushing it. Facecrush eats the mans stomach whole and retrieves the address from the mans glove department.
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At the 256th floor of C.A.R.S.D. tower, an older man with white hair and a white beard is staring at the window smiling. His subordinate, a scrawny man with black hair and glasses is standing beside him.
Scrawny man: Youve done it Mr. Bolf, youve captured all the rainbow sprinkled donuts in the world sir. The last one was reportedly bought about an hour ago.
Mr. Bolf: Thats good news, Killam. Thats good news indeed.
Killam: You dont sound too excited sir?
Mr. Bolf: Im not, Im worried.
Killam: What about, sir?
Mr. Bolf: Its too quiet out there, far too quiet. I look around the street below and dont see a single picket sign or protester. Surely the world has noticed whats happened by now and surely they know that we are responsible for it. Dont you think there would be more backlash after what we did? This silence scares me, it means something big and mean is heading towards us. Something we could have never predicted.
Killam: Thats crazy talk, sir. Its only been a few hours, you have the give the world some time to find out and get angry about what weve done. Besides with the legion of men weve created there is no one in the world foolish enough to try to stop us now. I mean the person would have to be completely out of his
Bolf puts his hand up for Killam to stop. He points to the street below. Facecrush is sprinting towards the building at full speed. Punching cars and people that are in his way; he runs into the building and immediately a loud explosion is heard.
Killam: What the fuck was that?!
Mr. Bolf: That was the backlash I was talking about.
Bolf goes to his desk and presses a button on his phone.
Mr. Bolf: Security: Send the Powder Twins to my office then send the rest of the team to take care of that man in the rest of the building. I want that mans head so I can hang it outside my window for the whole world to see.
Mr. Bolf walks over to a wall on the left and presses a button, the wall opens revealing about a dozen security cameras. His jaw falls to the floor when he sees whats going on in his building. Every security camera shows rooms covered in blood and removed organs. In one room a man has lost the bottom half of his body and is trying to crawl. Facecrush runs into the screen and kicks the torso into a wall. On another camera a young blonde woman is hiding in a bathroom stall. The door for the bathroom gets kicked in and Facecrush walks into the room and looks around. He walks up to the womens stall and knocks on it.
Facecrush: Dont be alarmed woman, Facecrush does not intend to hurt you. May he enter your stall so that he may enter you.
The girl opens the door and stares at Facecrush. She lunges at him and a gratuitous sex scene ensues.
Facecrush has finished ravaging the young girl and punches her in the face, crushing it. He lifts her up by her feet and sticks her head so far down the toilet her body sticks in the air. He then kicks her spine, smashing it, destroying the toilet and sending her through the tile wall. He walks up to the camera and points.
Mr. Bolf is hiding under his desk in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.
Mr. Bolf: Killam! Where the fuck are the Powder Twins? I dont want that man anywhere near me. Tell all officers to kill that man on sight. Call George in the security room.
Killam comes out of the closet in the back of the office and runs to the phone.
Killam: George! Tell everyone to kill that man on sight. Dont let him get to Mr. Bolf.
George: Its too late, all officers are dead. I dont know how Im still alive, Im sitting in my chair but my intestines are strewn out over my desk. How the fuck am I alive? That bastard should have just finished me off, Im in so much pain. NOOOOOO!!!
The voice on the phone cuts off and Killam runs back to the closet and locks it. A loud roar is heard and the doors to the office are smashed into pieces. Facecrush is looking around the office.
Facecrush: Facecrush knows someone is in here, he can smell their fear. Facecrush isnt going to hurt you, hes just going to rip your head off with his bare hands and fuck you in the neck hole.
Facecrush turns around when he hears footsteps. Two large bald men in white suits are standing in the open doorway. Facecrush clenches his fists and charges at them. They both whip out powdered donuts and Facecrush stops his charge. They walk close to him and he backs away. Killam pops out the closet smiling.
Killam: Whats the matter Facecrush, dont like powdered donuts?
Facecrush: Powdered donuts too dry, leave stuff on Facecrushs hands.
Killam: Ah well thats too bad isnt it Facecrush. Kill him!
The two men throw the powdered donuts at Facecrush and he falls to the floor. They whip out big bags of powdered donuts and continue to pummel him with them. He screams in pain.
Mr. Bolf comes out from under his desk and stands next to Killam. They both laugh hysterically. Facecrush is fading, the life is being sucked out of him. Mr. Bolf pulls out a rainbow sprinkled donut and waves it in the air. Facecrush reaches for it but has no strength. Bolf takes a lighter out of his pocket and sets the donut on fire and throws it on the floor in front of Facecrush. Facecrush stares at the donut and screams. He lunges at the donut and eats it in one bite, fire and all. He slowly gets up even with the constant barrage of powdered donuts. He charges at the twins again and punches one in the face, crushing it. He punches the other one in the gut and lifts up in the air and slams his spine against his knee, smashing it. He slowly turns around to Killam and Bolf and smiles. He jumps at them and catches Killam first. He kicks him in the face, crushing it. He stomps on his spine, smashing it. He lifts him up by his neck and throws him out the window where falls 256 floors onto a hotdog stand, sending delicious wieners high into the air.
Facecrush: Mmmm hot dog sound good. But first Facecrush must rape old man.
Mr. Bolf: Please, dont rape me. Here you came for the donuts right? Ill unlock the basement and you can have them all, ok?
He slowly walks over to his desk and presses a button.
Bolf: Now just take the elevator down to the basement and youll find all the donuts and you wont have to rape me.
Facecrush: Facecrush thanks you for sparing him the trouble of smashing the basement door but he still must make you pay for your crimes against donut-manity.
He grabs Bolf by the neck and shoves his face into the desk, crushing it. He punches him in the spine, crushing it. He pulls the mans pants down and punches his ass. His hand goes completely through the mans body and out of his mouth, like the man is an arm sleeve. Blood and organs are spewing out of the mans mouth and anus. Facecrush reaches into his loin cloth and pulls out an iPhone. He takes a picture of himself and posts it on Instagram with the commen Like my new wrist band?. He walks to the elevator and punches the door. He jumps down the elevator shaft 256 stories down to the basement and lands on his feet. He looks around and sees two big metal doors that are open. He walks through the doors and sees a giant room filled with mountains and mountains of rainbow sprinkled chocolate frosted donuts. He jumps into a pile and begins devouring everything in sight.
A small man in a suit walks into the room and looks for Facecrush. He sees him sitting on a throne made out of dead bodies, eating donuts nonstop, still with Bolfs body on his arm.
Small Man: Um Mr. McSpinesmasher?
Facecrush: Call Facecrush, Facecrush. No need for formalities around him.
Small Man: Well then Facecrush, Im here on behalf of WZCW and am here to assist you in any way for your big match tonight at the All Stars show.
Facecrush: Facecrush is gaining strength for what he knows what will be a test of his might. He knows he faces danger but now he has all the fuel he needs to maim all of his enemies.
Small Man: Theres only 2 hours until the show starts and its all the way in Tokyo. Will you be ready?
Facecrush: Facecrush is always ready. And now that he has the fuel
He points to the mountains of donuts
And the tools.
He lifts up his arm with Bolfs body.
Facecrush: Facecrush is ready to take on anything.
Facecrush nods then takes a bite out of a donut as the scene fades to black.
Facecrush McSpinesmasher in a low whispering voice: Facecrush would rip out his mothers intestines for a chocolate frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles on it.
The man in front of him finishes his order and walks slowly by Facecrush, doing his best not to anger the angry man.
Woman at counter: Can I take your order sir?
Facecrush McSpinesmasher: Chocolate frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles, please and thank you.
Woman at counter: Im sorry sir were all out at the moment but we have plenty of regular chocolate frosted donuts and chocolate sprinkled ones as well.
Facecrush McSpinesmasher: Your stupidity offends Facecrush. Do you expect a man of my size, who has such exquisite taste buds as these
Facecrush opens his mouth to show off his buds.
Would dare eat a chocolate frosted donut without rainbow sprinkles? Facecrush was going to penetrate you willingly from the front after he ate his donut but after a comment like that Facecrush thinks hell penetrate you forcefully from the back after he finds out who took the last donut.
Woman at counter: It was that guy getting into that red Toyota Camry right there, he bought the last one!
Facecrush spins around quickly and searches for the man. He spots him and the man spots him spotting him. The mans eyes grow wide with fear and he quickly gets in his car and drives away. Facecrush roars in anger and punches the counter, smashing it in two. He sprints out the door, punching an older patron in the face as he does, crushing it.
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The man who took Facecrushs donut is driving down a highway with forests around it. Hes eating the donut as he drives. He stops for a moment to look in his rearview mirror then shakes his head.
Donut stealing guy: I must be going crazy, I thought that guy from Dunkin Donuts was coming up over the horizon.
He continues to eat his donut finishing it in two bites and licking his fingers. He jumps at the sound of a loud scream. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees Facecrush sprinting towards his car.
Donut guy: Oh shit!
He speeds up and goes as fast as he can. He looks in his mirror again and Facecrush is gaining on him.
Donut guy: What the hell is this guy?
Facecrush gets close to the back of the car and punches the trunk causing the car to stop. He grabs the trunk of the car and lifts it over his head. He spins around with it a few times and hurls it off of a nearby cliff. It lands deep in a forest.
The donut guy is crawling out of his car, his face covered in blood and glass. He looks up at the sky and sees Facecrush coming down towards him. Facecrush slams his knees into the spine of the man, smashing it. He grabs the man by his hair
Facecrush: Thats what you get for stealing Facecrushs donut. Facecrush was having a good morning until you ruined it for him. Facecrush wants to know which hole you prefer he rips your stomach out of.
Donut guy: Dont you get it Facecrush, I had to take that donut. If you knew what I knew you would have taken it too. It was worth the risk and all this pain.
Facecrush: What are you talking about? Facecrush doesnt understand.
Donut guy: Dont you see, havent you seen the patterns. There are no more chocolate frosted donuts with rainbow sprinkles on them and theres never going to be any again. I had to take it; it was the last one ever.
Facecrush: Who is to blame for this? Tell Facecrush and he will murder them.
Donut guy: Its this crazy right wing group called the C.A.R.S.D., aka the Coalition Against Rainbow Sprinkled Donuts. They believe that rainbow sprinkled donuts are the tools of the left wing media. They believe those donuts are the reason society is spiraling into moral decay. Those sprinkles to them represent approval of same sex marriage, interracial dating, and communism. Theyve been going around the country breaking into all the donut shops at night and stealing all their rainbow frosted donuts. I heard a rumor from my friend on the internet that they have a ware house where theyre secretly keeping them all. I wrote down the address, its on a piece of paper in my glove box. A few of my friends and I were going to sneak in one night and try to take a few. You must stop them Facecrush, you must free the rainbow sprinkled donuts. Not just for you and not just for me but for the good of humanity. Youre our only hope.
Facecrush: Facecrush will go to this place and rape everyone in that building until he gets his donut. Facecrush thanks you for telling him this but apologizes that he still must rip out your stomach and eat it. You wronged him so you must die painfully and he has not had a rainbow sprinkled donut in 4 hours so he must feast on your insides to gain its nutrients.
Facecrush throws his hand into the mans stomach and rips it out. The man screams in terror before Facecrush stomps on his face, crushing it. Facecrush eats the mans stomach whole and retrieves the address from the mans glove department.
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At the 256th floor of C.A.R.S.D. tower, an older man with white hair and a white beard is staring at the window smiling. His subordinate, a scrawny man with black hair and glasses is standing beside him.
Scrawny man: Youve done it Mr. Bolf, youve captured all the rainbow sprinkled donuts in the world sir. The last one was reportedly bought about an hour ago.
Mr. Bolf: Thats good news, Killam. Thats good news indeed.
Killam: You dont sound too excited sir?
Mr. Bolf: Im not, Im worried.
Killam: What about, sir?
Mr. Bolf: Its too quiet out there, far too quiet. I look around the street below and dont see a single picket sign or protester. Surely the world has noticed whats happened by now and surely they know that we are responsible for it. Dont you think there would be more backlash after what we did? This silence scares me, it means something big and mean is heading towards us. Something we could have never predicted.
Killam: Thats crazy talk, sir. Its only been a few hours, you have the give the world some time to find out and get angry about what weve done. Besides with the legion of men weve created there is no one in the world foolish enough to try to stop us now. I mean the person would have to be completely out of his
Bolf puts his hand up for Killam to stop. He points to the street below. Facecrush is sprinting towards the building at full speed. Punching cars and people that are in his way; he runs into the building and immediately a loud explosion is heard.
Killam: What the fuck was that?!
Mr. Bolf: That was the backlash I was talking about.
Bolf goes to his desk and presses a button on his phone.
Mr. Bolf: Security: Send the Powder Twins to my office then send the rest of the team to take care of that man in the rest of the building. I want that mans head so I can hang it outside my window for the whole world to see.
Mr. Bolf walks over to a wall on the left and presses a button, the wall opens revealing about a dozen security cameras. His jaw falls to the floor when he sees whats going on in his building. Every security camera shows rooms covered in blood and removed organs. In one room a man has lost the bottom half of his body and is trying to crawl. Facecrush runs into the screen and kicks the torso into a wall. On another camera a young blonde woman is hiding in a bathroom stall. The door for the bathroom gets kicked in and Facecrush walks into the room and looks around. He walks up to the womens stall and knocks on it.
Facecrush: Dont be alarmed woman, Facecrush does not intend to hurt you. May he enter your stall so that he may enter you.
The girl opens the door and stares at Facecrush. She lunges at him and a gratuitous sex scene ensues.
20 minutes later
Facecrush has finished ravaging the young girl and punches her in the face, crushing it. He lifts her up by her feet and sticks her head so far down the toilet her body sticks in the air. He then kicks her spine, smashing it, destroying the toilet and sending her through the tile wall. He walks up to the camera and points.
Mr. Bolf is hiding under his desk in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.
Mr. Bolf: Killam! Where the fuck are the Powder Twins? I dont want that man anywhere near me. Tell all officers to kill that man on sight. Call George in the security room.
Killam comes out of the closet in the back of the office and runs to the phone.
Killam: George! Tell everyone to kill that man on sight. Dont let him get to Mr. Bolf.
George: Its too late, all officers are dead. I dont know how Im still alive, Im sitting in my chair but my intestines are strewn out over my desk. How the fuck am I alive? That bastard should have just finished me off, Im in so much pain. NOOOOOO!!!
The voice on the phone cuts off and Killam runs back to the closet and locks it. A loud roar is heard and the doors to the office are smashed into pieces. Facecrush is looking around the office.
Facecrush: Facecrush knows someone is in here, he can smell their fear. Facecrush isnt going to hurt you, hes just going to rip your head off with his bare hands and fuck you in the neck hole.
Facecrush turns around when he hears footsteps. Two large bald men in white suits are standing in the open doorway. Facecrush clenches his fists and charges at them. They both whip out powdered donuts and Facecrush stops his charge. They walk close to him and he backs away. Killam pops out the closet smiling.
Killam: Whats the matter Facecrush, dont like powdered donuts?
Facecrush: Powdered donuts too dry, leave stuff on Facecrushs hands.
Killam: Ah well thats too bad isnt it Facecrush. Kill him!
The two men throw the powdered donuts at Facecrush and he falls to the floor. They whip out big bags of powdered donuts and continue to pummel him with them. He screams in pain.
Mr. Bolf comes out from under his desk and stands next to Killam. They both laugh hysterically. Facecrush is fading, the life is being sucked out of him. Mr. Bolf pulls out a rainbow sprinkled donut and waves it in the air. Facecrush reaches for it but has no strength. Bolf takes a lighter out of his pocket and sets the donut on fire and throws it on the floor in front of Facecrush. Facecrush stares at the donut and screams. He lunges at the donut and eats it in one bite, fire and all. He slowly gets up even with the constant barrage of powdered donuts. He charges at the twins again and punches one in the face, crushing it. He punches the other one in the gut and lifts up in the air and slams his spine against his knee, smashing it. He slowly turns around to Killam and Bolf and smiles. He jumps at them and catches Killam first. He kicks him in the face, crushing it. He stomps on his spine, smashing it. He lifts him up by his neck and throws him out the window where falls 256 floors onto a hotdog stand, sending delicious wieners high into the air.
Facecrush: Mmmm hot dog sound good. But first Facecrush must rape old man.
Mr. Bolf: Please, dont rape me. Here you came for the donuts right? Ill unlock the basement and you can have them all, ok?
He slowly walks over to his desk and presses a button.
Bolf: Now just take the elevator down to the basement and youll find all the donuts and you wont have to rape me.
Facecrush: Facecrush thanks you for sparing him the trouble of smashing the basement door but he still must make you pay for your crimes against donut-manity.
He grabs Bolf by the neck and shoves his face into the desk, crushing it. He punches him in the spine, crushing it. He pulls the mans pants down and punches his ass. His hand goes completely through the mans body and out of his mouth, like the man is an arm sleeve. Blood and organs are spewing out of the mans mouth and anus. Facecrush reaches into his loin cloth and pulls out an iPhone. He takes a picture of himself and posts it on Instagram with the commen Like my new wrist band?. He walks to the elevator and punches the door. He jumps down the elevator shaft 256 stories down to the basement and lands on his feet. He looks around and sees two big metal doors that are open. He walks through the doors and sees a giant room filled with mountains and mountains of rainbow sprinkled chocolate frosted donuts. He jumps into a pile and begins devouring everything in sight.
6 hours later
A small man in a suit walks into the room and looks for Facecrush. He sees him sitting on a throne made out of dead bodies, eating donuts nonstop, still with Bolfs body on his arm.
Small Man: Um Mr. McSpinesmasher?
Facecrush: Call Facecrush, Facecrush. No need for formalities around him.
Small Man: Well then Facecrush, Im here on behalf of WZCW and am here to assist you in any way for your big match tonight at the All Stars show.
Facecrush: Facecrush is gaining strength for what he knows what will be a test of his might. He knows he faces danger but now he has all the fuel he needs to maim all of his enemies.
Small Man: Theres only 2 hours until the show starts and its all the way in Tokyo. Will you be ready?
Facecrush: Facecrush is always ready. And now that he has the fuel
He points to the mountains of donuts
And the tools.
He lifts up his arm with Bolfs body.
Facecrush: Facecrush is ready to take on anything.
Facecrush nods then takes a bite out of a donut as the scene fades to black.
Awesome_Miz
Proud LSN mentee
A Mysterious Force Is Coming!
The YouTube video starts off in a gym. The place seems to have all lights except for one. There is just one deemed light in a corner of a wrestling ring. In that exact corner sits a mysterious man.
???: I am Brock Edwards.
After Brock says his name a good shot of him is shown now.
Brock: You want to know how I am. I am an ASS-KICKER!
*End of Video*
The YouTube video starts off in a gym. The place seems to have all lights except for one. There is just one deemed light in a corner of a wrestling ring. In that exact corner sits a mysterious man.
???: I am Brock Edwards.
After Brock says his name a good shot of him is shown now.
Brock: You want to know how I am. I am an ASS-KICKER!
*End of Video*
Awesome_Miz
Proud LSN mentee
Muscle, Fat A-Listers, and Who?
*Start Video*
Welcome, back to my YouTube channel, idiots. I am currently on the look for my tag team partners. One of them has contacted me and has asked me to meet them at this McDonalds.
Brock then adjusts the camera, so the viewers can see the McDonalds restaurant. He then proceeds to walk in to the McDonalds.
The only piece of information that he gave me was that he was going to be the most handsome guy around. All I see is this fat piece of tar.
A shot of the very overweight gentleman is shown. The good fat man is eating a Big Mac, Double Quarter Pounder with Extra Cheese, and a diet coke.
Hey, Mr. Peter Griffin. Have you seen an A-Lister anywhere around here? Is he in the restroom? Or does he actually work here in this trash hold?
Actually, I know of this awesome, smooth, lady loving, A-Lister that you seek off. That man is me. And for future reference I aint that fat.
*A small giggle sound comes from Brock Edwards* Sure and I am not a professional wrestler, but rather a pretty ballerina.
Brock then puts the camera down in the table where the former WZCW wrestler sits with his food. Brock then does a very short ballerina dance routine, before anyone sees. This time its the A-Lister giving out a snorting giggle.
What are you laughing about fatty?
Where did you learn to dance like that, gaywot.
I have a past just like you. I know that you once were employed by WZCW. Your name is Hollywood Jameson. During, your time there was some wrestlers that laughed at you backstage. I can name a few like Celeste Crimson, Drake Callahan, Darren Bull, Action Saxton, Matt Tastic, and Saboteur.
Just then a McDonalds worker grabs hold of some katanas and starts running towards the exit door. It seems to have been Saboteur running from his
secret job.
Was that?
Nah.
Now where were we? Oh yeah, I was only the talk in the back because of my high skills and high standards I set for everyone. So, they were all just jealous of me and they will all be jealous again. Cause they all will see the true Mr. All-Stars.
Yeah, right. Speaking of All-Stars do you know who our third partner is?
Not at all, but he aint getting none of my celebratory Kentucky fried chicken.
If I remember right. I read in the WZCW Magazine that there might be a WZCW superstar appearing.
Isnt that alien goof, Krypto in All-Stars and Celeste?
Yeah you are right. It better be someone who can kick ass like me.
Just then a girl worker from McDonalds comes over and asks Jameson to pay.
Hey, you got money I can borrow?
No! I dont have any money, fool.
Come on man. I wasted all my money on a fucking good deal with Dominos online orders.
I hope you have a plan B then. Cause I ain't giving you shit.
Jameson takes in a moment to think to himself. It looks like he sweating like there is no tomorrow until it looks like he has an idea. He then gets up and gets right next to the employer. He begins to do a very sexual and extremely odd dance to the girl. However, Brock hits the girl and knocks her out.
What the hell was that for?
One that looked weird and gay. And two I didnt want to know where that went. Also, I hit anyone I want.
So, whats your plan to get out of this problem?
Run Bitch! Run!
Quickly, Edwards grabs the camera and runs out of the restaurant along with Hollywood Jameson. Who actually stops at the front door and tries to grab hold of his breath.
*Gasping* Ill catch you at the Tokyo Dome in Japan.
Later ******!
*End Video*
*Start Video*
Welcome, back to my YouTube channel, idiots. I am currently on the look for my tag team partners. One of them has contacted me and has asked me to meet them at this McDonalds.
Brock then adjusts the camera, so the viewers can see the McDonalds restaurant. He then proceeds to walk in to the McDonalds.
The only piece of information that he gave me was that he was going to be the most handsome guy around. All I see is this fat piece of tar.
A shot of the very overweight gentleman is shown. The good fat man is eating a Big Mac, Double Quarter Pounder with Extra Cheese, and a diet coke.
Hey, Mr. Peter Griffin. Have you seen an A-Lister anywhere around here? Is he in the restroom? Or does he actually work here in this trash hold?
Actually, I know of this awesome, smooth, lady loving, A-Lister that you seek off. That man is me. And for future reference I aint that fat.
*A small giggle sound comes from Brock Edwards* Sure and I am not a professional wrestler, but rather a pretty ballerina.
Brock then puts the camera down in the table where the former WZCW wrestler sits with his food. Brock then does a very short ballerina dance routine, before anyone sees. This time its the A-Lister giving out a snorting giggle.
What are you laughing about fatty?
Where did you learn to dance like that, gaywot.
I have a past just like you. I know that you once were employed by WZCW. Your name is Hollywood Jameson. During, your time there was some wrestlers that laughed at you backstage. I can name a few like Celeste Crimson, Drake Callahan, Darren Bull, Action Saxton, Matt Tastic, and Saboteur.
Just then a McDonalds worker grabs hold of some katanas and starts running towards the exit door. It seems to have been Saboteur running from his
secret job.
Was that?
Nah.
Now where were we? Oh yeah, I was only the talk in the back because of my high skills and high standards I set for everyone. So, they were all just jealous of me and they will all be jealous again. Cause they all will see the true Mr. All-Stars.
Yeah, right. Speaking of All-Stars do you know who our third partner is?
Not at all, but he aint getting none of my celebratory Kentucky fried chicken.
If I remember right. I read in the WZCW Magazine that there might be a WZCW superstar appearing.
Isnt that alien goof, Krypto in All-Stars and Celeste?
Yeah you are right. It better be someone who can kick ass like me.
Just then a girl worker from McDonalds comes over and asks Jameson to pay.
Hey, you got money I can borrow?
No! I dont have any money, fool.
Come on man. I wasted all my money on a fucking good deal with Dominos online orders.
I hope you have a plan B then. Cause I ain't giving you shit.
Jameson takes in a moment to think to himself. It looks like he sweating like there is no tomorrow until it looks like he has an idea. He then gets up and gets right next to the employer. He begins to do a very sexual and extremely odd dance to the girl. However, Brock hits the girl and knocks her out.
What the hell was that for?
One that looked weird and gay. And two I didnt want to know where that went. Also, I hit anyone I want.
So, whats your plan to get out of this problem?
Run Bitch! Run!
Quickly, Edwards grabs the camera and runs out of the restaurant along with Hollywood Jameson. Who actually stops at the front door and tries to grab hold of his breath.
*Gasping* Ill catch you at the Tokyo Dome in Japan.
Later ******!
*End Video*
Serious Mozzarella
Special Victims Unit
The video starts with a white screen, where a director's card is seen, with the writing, "サンダーボルトプロモ＃1". The color of the screen quickly fades to black. Thunder crashes, followed by the start of an extremely generic speed-rock song, reminiscent of the old, original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Theme.
" 私は、超高速サンダー、日本からの伝説的な高フライヤーです！"
Subtitles: I am the lightning-fast Thunderbolt, legendary high-flyer from Japan!
A spotlight shines onto the middle of the screen, revealing a piece of a very large man's chest. The spotlight clearly isn't big enough to reveal his entire body. The camera quickly jolts uncomfortably close to Thunderbolt's face, as he twists it into a very alarming, wide-eyed smile.
" 私は日本が今まで見た最大の高空飛行のアクションを与えるために私の4年間の退職から出てきています！"
Subtitles: "I am coming out of my 4-year retirement to give you the greatest high-flying action Japan has ever seen!"
The screen quickly jumps to a montage of suspiciously-edited Thunderbolt matches. In the first clip, a very, very, VERY large sumo wrestler is trying, and (barely) succeeding at making it to the top rope. He struggles to keep his balance under the violently bending turnbuckle under him, and points to the sky. Right as he's about to jump, you can see the floor audience standing up and rushing to arena doors, trying to preemptively avoid the shooting debris of the ring that's very obviously about to be destroyed, before the screen cuts to another match. For some reason involving a cheap editing studio, and an unskilled editing technician, the music skips along with the frame. The second scene involves Thunderbolt standing over his opponent, looking directly at the camera. He gives the camera a look before running toward the ropes, looking to bounce off them, but the scene cuts off before hitting the ropes.
Back in the editing studio, the camera is still alarmingly close to Thunderbolt's face. So close, in fact, parts of his face are obscured by the edge of the frame.
" 私の汚い口の対戦相手は、それが打たれるためにどのようなものかを学びます...サンダーボルトで！"
Subtitles: My filthy-mouthed opponents will learn what it's like to be struck... by a Thunderbolt!
He smiles at the camera for about four seconds. For the following tenth of a second, the camera shoots downward, and you can hear the distinct sound of laughing. All the audio then goes silent, and the following logo clicks onto the screen:
" 私は、超高速サンダー、日本からの伝説的な高フライヤーです！"
Subtitles: I am the lightning-fast Thunderbolt, legendary high-flyer from Japan!
A spotlight shines onto the middle of the screen, revealing a piece of a very large man's chest. The spotlight clearly isn't big enough to reveal his entire body. The camera quickly jolts uncomfortably close to Thunderbolt's face, as he twists it into a very alarming, wide-eyed smile.
" 私は日本が今まで見た最大の高空飛行のアクションを与えるために私の4年間の退職から出てきています！"
Subtitles: "I am coming out of my 4-year retirement to give you the greatest high-flying action Japan has ever seen!"
The screen quickly jumps to a montage of suspiciously-edited Thunderbolt matches. In the first clip, a very, very, VERY large sumo wrestler is trying, and (barely) succeeding at making it to the top rope. He struggles to keep his balance under the violently bending turnbuckle under him, and points to the sky. Right as he's about to jump, you can see the floor audience standing up and rushing to arena doors, trying to preemptively avoid the shooting debris of the ring that's very obviously about to be destroyed, before the screen cuts to another match. For some reason involving a cheap editing studio, and an unskilled editing technician, the music skips along with the frame. The second scene involves Thunderbolt standing over his opponent, looking directly at the camera. He gives the camera a look before running toward the ropes, looking to bounce off them, but the scene cuts off before hitting the ropes.
Back in the editing studio, the camera is still alarmingly close to Thunderbolt's face. So close, in fact, parts of his face are obscured by the edge of the frame.
" 私の汚い口の対戦相手は、それが打たれるためにどのようなものかを学びます...サンダーボルトで！"
Subtitles: My filthy-mouthed opponents will learn what it's like to be struck... by a Thunderbolt!
He smiles at the camera for about four seconds. For the following tenth of a second, the camera shoots downward, and you can hear the distinct sound of laughing. All the audio then goes silent, and the following logo clicks onto the screen:
Serious Mozzarella
Special Victims Unit
The screen turns white, and a director's card is shown with the words, ""サンダーボルトプロモ＃2". The color of the screen quickly flicks to black. Thunder crashes, followed by the familiar speed rock tune that "rocked" the screen in the video before.
A small clip of lightning over the mountains plays, followed by a very sparky, no-fire explosion, and the words light up the screen: "THUNDERBOLT! HIGH FLYER OF LEGEND. DO NOT MISS! GO THUNDERBOLT ALRIGHT!"
Thunderbolt is shown in the ring, debuting his new wrestling attire: bursting-at-the-tight black leather pants with purple lightning bolts patched to the outside of both legs.
"You wan' THUNDER! I GIVE YOU THUNDER!" he yells into the camera, obviously not knowing what he just said.
The rock music plays on, as a new montage of his wrestling matches begins to play. Or, what would be a montage, if it didn't only include one single clip of him flying off a turnbuckle, played four times in a row.
More words flash brightly on the screen, "IF WANT HIGH FLYING ACTION, IT'S WHAT YOU GET!!!"
"I COME FOR JAMESON. I COME FOR EDWARDS. I STRUCK THEM WITH LIGHTNING SO HARD THEY WILL NEVER FORGET!"
A short, round balding man appeared from behind Thunderbolt. Sporting a very bright suit and a gold tooth, he screams at the camera in Japanese, followed by, "HE KILLED TO DEATH A MAN SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!"
The camera fades out into Thunderbolt's logo:
A small clip of lightning over the mountains plays, followed by a very sparky, no-fire explosion, and the words light up the screen: "THUNDERBOLT! HIGH FLYER OF LEGEND. DO NOT MISS! GO THUNDERBOLT ALRIGHT!"
Thunderbolt is shown in the ring, debuting his new wrestling attire: bursting-at-the-tight black leather pants with purple lightning bolts patched to the outside of both legs.
"You wan' THUNDER! I GIVE YOU THUNDER!" he yells into the camera, obviously not knowing what he just said.
The rock music plays on, as a new montage of his wrestling matches begins to play. Or, what would be a montage, if it didn't only include one single clip of him flying off a turnbuckle, played four times in a row.
More words flash brightly on the screen, "IF WANT HIGH FLYING ACTION, IT'S WHAT YOU GET!!!"
"I COME FOR JAMESON. I COME FOR EDWARDS. I STRUCK THEM WITH LIGHTNING SO HARD THEY WILL NEVER FORGET!"
A short, round balding man appeared from behind Thunderbolt. Sporting a very bright suit and a gold tooth, he screams at the camera in Japanese, followed by, "HE KILLED TO DEATH A MAN SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!"
The camera fades out into Thunderbolt's logo:
Thriller Ant
Beep Bop Boop
The scene opens in a little coffee shop that is in chaos. Patrons are running everywhere as tables, chairs, and sometimes, even people go flying. A voice is yelling and giving some explanation of what's going on in the process.
WHY THE HELL IS THERE SWEETENER IN MY GREEN TEA? I SAID ICED GREEN TEA WITH NO SWEETENER!
The camera pans over toward where the voice is coming from, but there's no one there. The camera pans down, and down, and down, and down some more, until we finally see Arthur Short in a children's XL cutoff t-shirt and 14/16 sized jeans. He lifts a table over his head with ease, and throws it through a nearby wall, exposing a man using the toilet.
I'm...I'm very sorry sir. Please, I can make you another drink at no charge.
Before Short can answer, St. Louis' finest burst through the hole where the door was to arrest the rampaging little person. Short, sensing that he may miss the WZCW All Stars show if he gets arrested, grabs the barista and sprints between the the officers' legs and into the streets of the Gateway City.
Sorry, officers, but the World's Strongest Midget has to bring the hurtin' to Tokyo!
Arthur throws the barista into the car, denting the opposite door and breaking the man's leg, and hops in himself before the car speeds away.
Boys, to the airport!
He turns to the barista.
And as for you, you have about 24 hours worth of travel to filter all of the sweetener out of this green tea.
The barista begins to cry as one of Arthur's posse holds him up through the sunroof of the car.
WZCW ALL STARS! YOU BEST BE READY FOR THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MIDGET TO TOSS YOU ALL OVER THE RING, THE ARENA, AND THE WORLD! I...
His speech is cut short as a bird smacks Arthur in the face and the scene fades to black.
WHY THE HELL IS THERE SWEETENER IN MY GREEN TEA? I SAID ICED GREEN TEA WITH NO SWEETENER!
The camera pans over toward where the voice is coming from, but there's no one there. The camera pans down, and down, and down, and down some more, until we finally see Arthur Short in a children's XL cutoff t-shirt and 14/16 sized jeans. He lifts a table over his head with ease, and throws it through a nearby wall, exposing a man using the toilet.
I'm...I'm very sorry sir. Please, I can make you another drink at no charge.
Before Short can answer, St. Louis' finest burst through the hole where the door was to arrest the rampaging little person. Short, sensing that he may miss the WZCW All Stars show if he gets arrested, grabs the barista and sprints between the the officers' legs and into the streets of the Gateway City.
Sorry, officers, but the World's Strongest Midget has to bring the hurtin' to Tokyo!
Arthur throws the barista into the car, denting the opposite door and breaking the man's leg, and hops in himself before the car speeds away.
Boys, to the airport!
He turns to the barista.
And as for you, you have about 24 hours worth of travel to filter all of the sweetener out of this green tea.
The barista begins to cry as one of Arthur's posse holds him up through the sunroof of the car.
WZCW ALL STARS! YOU BEST BE READY FOR THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MIDGET TO TOSS YOU ALL OVER THE RING, THE ARENA, AND THE WORLD! I...
His speech is cut short as a bird smacks Arthur in the face and the scene fades to black.
- Status
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