A Sign Guy Original

[TSG]

Here is an original song I wrote. Tell me what you guys think.

Okay, yeah

So here's the deal
Baby it's all real
So sick of the whole world
Wanting me to kneel

You just hate me
Berate me
Rape me
It's nine to five

Welcome to my world
You can enter
But no one gets out alive

YEAHH!

Chorus:
You want the world
Well here you go
Just a bunch of hell
And a bunch of hoes
You're gonna get hurt
Bu step up to the plate
Just let the pitch come
And await your fate
It's just natural order
And popular trends
Everyone goes down
In the end

Your all public best friends
And closet ****es
Bitchy cokeheads
And nothing more

Backstab
60's Fab
Emo drab
All the like

Welcome to my world
Just shut up
And lead me straight to mic

YEAHH!

Repeat Chorus 2x

 

[X]

Do you want truthful opinions?

 

[Hyorinmaru]

You should put that on the fridge

 

[TSG]

Oh no, that means it sucks. But let's hear it anyway xfear.

 

[X]

Well, it doesn't suck. But it's not great. You should focus less on trying to come up with a word to rhyme for the next line and just try and write as it comes to you, without stopping to think "Does this rhyme?" The best stuff always comes out that way.

It's not bad though, really. Kinda weird though because the lyrics at one point seem like the lyrics to a grunge song, and then you start using rap lingo like hoes. Was this meant as a rap?

 

[TSG]

No it wasn't a rap, but I didn't write it to fit a genre, like you said, I focused on the rhyming more.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

Oh no, that means it sucks. But let's hear it anyway xfear.

I was joking BTW. I'm not the best judge on whether a song writer is good or not

 

[TSG]

Here is another original:

Scream out to the devil
Look into my eyes
All you see is the darkness
Can't say your not surprised
Evil thoughts lurking
And your brain starts hurting
Scars of the cross
Fall into loss
No one here is getting out alive

Feel the burn
Feel the pain
It's the price
To play this game
Walk into hell
Never come out
As you start to rot
I will hear you shout

No heaven tonight
Only antichrist
No anarchy against me
I will torture you gently
Gonna give it to you
Not gonna promise you'll like it
This is the end
Of all days
The judgement is over
Now your gonna pay
And your sentence begins

Feel the burn
Feel the pain
It's the price
To play this game
Walk into hell
Never come out
As you start to rot
I will hear you shout

Guitar Solo

Feel the burn
Feel the pain
It's the price
To play this game
Walk into hell
Never come out
As you start to rot
I will hear you shout

Snort your cocaine
Fan your flames
Play your games
Your gonna end up in hell

Spoken voice:
I am thy alpha
I am thy omega
Your beginning
And your end
May the hounds of hell
Eat your rotting soul

 

[X]

Y'know what Sign Guy? I've been meaning to do this all week, but you've just inspired me. I'm going to start a poetry thread now.