stingerlegends
Occasional Pre-Show
The CM Punk story is a non-issue for me. I've swept it aside. But I wanted to tell you all a Police Story of my own, hopefully you might find it amusing.
It all started about two o'clock on a Friday. A few friends and I were playing hacky sack in the street and drinking beer. (underage)
A cop shows up to talk to my friend Jonah about a missing girl (wtf?), who we knew OF, but didn't know. No idea why he came here. Jonah had slid his beer into his shorts pocket, and was asked to sit inside the cop car and talk to the officer, and the beer spilled over the seat
. Jonah was issued a citation for underage drinking and was let go. (The law in our state at that time said if you were over 18 but under 21, you did not have to go to jail or court, and it was only a 75 dollar fine.)
Fast forward to that evening. We were partying at a friend's house when someone came by and said that CCR was playing at in town about 50 miles away, so we all decided to go. Jonah's girlfriend hadn't got off work yet, so we sat outside to wait for her while everyone else left. Jonah and I each had one of those big Subway Soda Mugs filled half and half with Black Velvet and Coke, and we were getting to the bottom of them, when we heard sirens coming down the block. We walked over to the side of the house to see if we could start running, but saw police coming from every direction, even the alley in the back. So we sat next to the doghouse and slid our drinks inside it.
The cops saw us and said they were busting our party. "What party?" Jonah asked. The cop said "You know what party. Is everyone inside?" "No." We both blurted. (which of course was the truth.) Of course the cops didn't believe us, and had us knock on the door to be let inside, which we laughed at them for, because, friends or not, they weren't going to let us in with cops outside, even if they WERE there. But I knocked on the door, and said to the cop, "I told you. No one is here." The cop still didn't believe us and told us to stand aside. They sat there talking for about twenty minutes, and didn't even look in our direction, so we started to walk away.
One policeman yelled at to come back, after we had made it about a block away. So we came back, and they took our I.D.'s. One of the cops thought he recognized me, he said. Turns out I had a warrant out for my arrest for failing to pay an underage consumption ticket from about six months prior, that I had completely forgotten about. So I was read my rights and handcuffed. I cooperated with them, since I was caught. No biggie. The cop told me I was about to spend the night, maybe longer in jail. "No, I don't think so," I said calmly. "I will be out here again before the night is over." The cop laughed at me, and said, "I guess you don't understand the law, son." "We'll see," I smiled back.
Meanwhile they were also arresting Jonah, but Jonah was a less cooperative. He was being a jerk, telling them to F off, that they couldn't arrest him. They said they could, because he was resisting, and because he was being disorderly. (He was a little drunker than I was.) I told the cops that they had me, why Jonah? He already had received an underage that day, and couldn't get another one. Again the the same cop that talked to me earlier told me that I didn't know the law, and that I should shut up unless I wanted a disorderly ticket as well. "I'm not yelling at you, sir" I told him, "but I will make a fool of you before the night is over."
His face got all red, as another officer put us into the back seat of one of the patrol cars, with our hands cuffed behind our backs. We sat there for another 45 minutes while they tried to figure out how they missed everyone else (maybe waiting for a warrant?). And I still, to this day, don't know how I managed to pull a couple sticks of gum from my front pocket, and managed to get one to Jonah, and one into my mouth, but we sat there chewing gum, did some breathing exercises, and laughing about our rotten luck.
The police finally got back to us, and took us into the station, and started to book us. I asked for my one phone call, because I had 75 dollars on my dresser at home, and my mom could bring it in and that would be it, right? One of the senior officers said yes, but the cop who had been jawing at me smiled and said, "That will take care of your warrant, but we have enough to hold you for the night and charge you with an underage." "How is that?" I asked. "Because we found your mugs in the doghouse," he replied. "Can you prove that they were ours?" I asked. "We don't need to." he responded. "Do you remember when I said I was going to make a fool out of you?" I said. "How about I do that now?" Again, the cop got red-faced. He called me a punk and said I was asking for it.
"Yes, I am asking for it. Or rather, I am asking for my breath-a-lyzer test, since you never gave us one." "I don't have to," the cop replied. "I told you we found the mugs." "Then in court I will have this dismissed," I said.
The senior officer pulled him aside and said something quietly to him, and then said, "Okay. We will give you a Breath-A-Lyzer. But it won't mean anything."
Okay at this point, I will admit, I am definitely calling their bluff, but was confident that the time it took to get here (at least an hour and a half), plus the gum and the breathing exercises, is going to work in my favor. Jonah was pulled into another room to get his.
I got lucky. I blew a flashing green. The jailer started smirking. I winked at him, (Fred was also employed at a Smoke Shop in town, so he kinda knew me), and said, "So i can go now right?" The red-faced officer started to say something, but I said quickly, "I hope you learned something from this. I told you I was going to make a fool out of you, and I did. Stay calm next time, and you won't make a mistake, maybe."
My mom and Jonah were waiting in the visitor section, where she had just brought my 75 dollars to pay for my warrant. I laughed when I saw Jonah. "How did you get out?" He said, I blew a yellow. Earlier today, I blew a flashing red. They couldn't prove that I had been drinking since my first ticket, so they had to let me go."
We both laughed and went to my car, where we had the rest of our whiskey and coke and went out partying for the rest of the night.
Anyone else have a good story?
It all started about two o'clock on a Friday. A few friends and I were playing hacky sack in the street and drinking beer. (underage)
A cop shows up to talk to my friend Jonah about a missing girl (wtf?), who we knew OF, but didn't know. No idea why he came here. Jonah had slid his beer into his shorts pocket, and was asked to sit inside the cop car and talk to the officer, and the beer spilled over the seat
. Jonah was issued a citation for underage drinking and was let go. (The law in our state at that time said if you were over 18 but under 21, you did not have to go to jail or court, and it was only a 75 dollar fine.)Fast forward to that evening. We were partying at a friend's house when someone came by and said that CCR was playing at in town about 50 miles away, so we all decided to go. Jonah's girlfriend hadn't got off work yet, so we sat outside to wait for her while everyone else left. Jonah and I each had one of those big Subway Soda Mugs filled half and half with Black Velvet and Coke, and we were getting to the bottom of them, when we heard sirens coming down the block. We walked over to the side of the house to see if we could start running, but saw police coming from every direction, even the alley in the back. So we sat next to the doghouse and slid our drinks inside it.
The cops saw us and said they were busting our party. "What party?" Jonah asked. The cop said "You know what party. Is everyone inside?" "No." We both blurted. (which of course was the truth.) Of course the cops didn't believe us, and had us knock on the door to be let inside, which we laughed at them for, because, friends or not, they weren't going to let us in with cops outside, even if they WERE there. But I knocked on the door, and said to the cop, "I told you. No one is here." The cop still didn't believe us and told us to stand aside. They sat there talking for about twenty minutes, and didn't even look in our direction, so we started to walk away.
One policeman yelled at to come back, after we had made it about a block away. So we came back, and they took our I.D.'s. One of the cops thought he recognized me, he said. Turns out I had a warrant out for my arrest for failing to pay an underage consumption ticket from about six months prior, that I had completely forgotten about. So I was read my rights and handcuffed. I cooperated with them, since I was caught. No biggie. The cop told me I was about to spend the night, maybe longer in jail. "No, I don't think so," I said calmly. "I will be out here again before the night is over." The cop laughed at me, and said, "I guess you don't understand the law, son." "We'll see," I smiled back.
Meanwhile they were also arresting Jonah, but Jonah was a less cooperative. He was being a jerk, telling them to F off, that they couldn't arrest him. They said they could, because he was resisting, and because he was being disorderly. (He was a little drunker than I was.) I told the cops that they had me, why Jonah? He already had received an underage that day, and couldn't get another one. Again the the same cop that talked to me earlier told me that I didn't know the law, and that I should shut up unless I wanted a disorderly ticket as well. "I'm not yelling at you, sir" I told him, "but I will make a fool of you before the night is over."
His face got all red, as another officer put us into the back seat of one of the patrol cars, with our hands cuffed behind our backs. We sat there for another 45 minutes while they tried to figure out how they missed everyone else (maybe waiting for a warrant?). And I still, to this day, don't know how I managed to pull a couple sticks of gum from my front pocket, and managed to get one to Jonah, and one into my mouth, but we sat there chewing gum, did some breathing exercises, and laughing about our rotten luck.
The police finally got back to us, and took us into the station, and started to book us. I asked for my one phone call, because I had 75 dollars on my dresser at home, and my mom could bring it in and that would be it, right? One of the senior officers said yes, but the cop who had been jawing at me smiled and said, "That will take care of your warrant, but we have enough to hold you for the night and charge you with an underage." "How is that?" I asked. "Because we found your mugs in the doghouse," he replied. "Can you prove that they were ours?" I asked. "We don't need to." he responded. "Do you remember when I said I was going to make a fool out of you?" I said. "How about I do that now?" Again, the cop got red-faced. He called me a punk and said I was asking for it.
"Yes, I am asking for it. Or rather, I am asking for my breath-a-lyzer test, since you never gave us one." "I don't have to," the cop replied. "I told you we found the mugs." "Then in court I will have this dismissed," I said.
The senior officer pulled him aside and said something quietly to him, and then said, "Okay. We will give you a Breath-A-Lyzer. But it won't mean anything."
Okay at this point, I will admit, I am definitely calling their bluff, but was confident that the time it took to get here (at least an hour and a half), plus the gum and the breathing exercises, is going to work in my favor. Jonah was pulled into another room to get his.
I got lucky. I blew a flashing green. The jailer started smirking. I winked at him, (Fred was also employed at a Smoke Shop in town, so he kinda knew me), and said, "So i can go now right?" The red-faced officer started to say something, but I said quickly, "I hope you learned something from this. I told you I was going to make a fool out of you, and I did. Stay calm next time, and you won't make a mistake, maybe."
My mom and Jonah were waiting in the visitor section, where she had just brought my 75 dollars to pay for my warrant. I laughed when I saw Jonah. "How did you get out?" He said, I blew a yellow. Earlier today, I blew a flashing red. They couldn't prove that I had been drinking since my first ticket, so they had to let me go."
We both laughed and went to my car, where we had the rest of our whiskey and coke and went out partying for the rest of the night.
Anyone else have a good story?
