I imagine something like this has been done in the past, what with all the attention the series has been getting lately. But the new movie is on its way this summer, with everyone going crazy over "WHO'S SHE GONNA CHOOSE?!" like it's the most important decision ever.
This won't be a short one. It'll be divided into three parts. The first two parts will be looking at the history of the monsters that the two male leads are based on, while the third will be looking at the actual love triangle.
I warn you: If you're a fan, you'd do best to walk away now.
Actually, stick around. I imagine you could use a little logic. You won't like it, but what can you do?
So, let's start with the main male protagonist, or more specifically, what he is: the vampire.
The vampire has changed a LOT in movies throughout the years. And I do mean a LOT. However, through all of the changes that have been made, there have been certain constants:
1.) Vampires die in sunlight.
This is one of the most well-known traits of the vampire, aside from its visual appearance. It has long been established that vampires attack their victims at night, because if they wandered out during the day, they would burn up and die. The reasons for this aren't exactly clear, but I believe it has to do with God being in the sun and that the dead should never see the sun again or whatever. Point is, they can't go out in sunlight. This has been tweaked a bit over the years, but never completely erased.
2.) Vampires cannot go near holy objects.
This is another big trait of the vampire, and ties in with what I mentioned before, about God and all that. Throughout the history of vampires in cinema, they would typically be repulsed or in some cases hurt just by looking at something considered holy, particularly crosses. In fact, two sticks put together in the shape of a cross would be enough to wound a vampire. This would later be modified to include holy objects from ALL religions, as well as saying that the wielder needed to believe in the respective religion for it to work. Of course, this wouldn't stay with all adaptations, but I find it to be a nice touch, continuing with the theme of vampires that I'll explain fully in a bit.
3.) Vampires need blood to survive.
This is possibly the biggest trait of all, that of the vampire's main food source: blood. Whether it has to be human blood or it can be any kind of blood is, again, dependent on the source, but the bottom line is, they need this. This is the source of their power, what makes them immortal. Without this, they would suffer and become weak. The reason behind this isn't exactly clear, but it's just been commonly accepted. They can't choose to not eat blood, because anything else will either taste terrible or cause them to be sick. This also ties in with how they kill their victims, by attacking the neck. Because the neck is a pathway between the brain and the heart, a lot of blood is moving within it, so, naturally, if the source of a creatures nourishment was blood, they would attack the biggest supply. Plus, it's a fairly vulnerable point on the human body. This can also tie in with how new vampires are created. It's been changed from completely draining blood, to only draining enough blood, to transferring some of their own blood, and so on. Either way, it usually needs to be in the process of feeding.
4.) Vampires are weak against garlic.
I'm not entirely sure where this began, but I think it was an old folk legend, where if you lay cloves of garlic around your door or your bed, a vampire can't touch you. Maybe garlic is considering holy as well, or maybe vampires just hate the smell. Either way, they hate it. It isn't considered to be a main weakness of a vampire, and certainly nothing that could kill it, but more of a deterrent, a way to protect a potential victim. Oddly enough, this is one of the traits that wouldn't be played around with too much, though it is commonly used as a joke when one is trying to have a laugh about vampires.
5.) One way to kill a vampire is to drive a stake through its heart.
This is one that most people know, particularly movie-goers who are watching the final battle between the vampire and the vampire-hunter, the latter of which is armed with a wooden stake, or more than one, in some cases. This has been altered from "need to hammer the stake in while they're asleep and then cut off the head" to "need to hammer the stake in while they're asleep" to "just stab them in the heart with the stake" to "just stab them in the heart" and so on. While it has changed considerably, it's almost always accepted that a) it needs to be something sharp and pointy, and b) it needs to be the heart.
6.) Vampires cannot cast reflections.
This is another well-known trait that is commonly used as a way to detect vampires: if they have no reflection in a mirror, they're a vampire. Again, not sure where this came from, but it probably ties in with them being undead and how they don't have souls or something. I guess in the old days they thought that the reflection was because of the soul. Point is, a vampire would not be seen in a mirror.
7.) Vampires have limited shapeshifting abilities.
Please note I said "limited". Throughout history, vampires are typically seen changing into bats, but have also changed into wolves, rats, bugs, or mist. This is, again, something that has been played with over the years, but not to the extent of the others. Normally, vampires just changed into abnormally-sized bats and that's the extent of it. It has become one of the more recognizable signs of a vampire, and more than likely explains the vampire bat's name.
8.) Vampires have hypnotic powers.
This is one of the more important aspects of a vampire, as it explains how they get their victims. In the old days, vampires were considered hideous undead creatures, so they needed to rely on hypnosis to lure their victims to them. This is the one that's been toyed with the most in cinema, to the point that in some cases the vampire doesn't have this ability at all. It's pretty clear why, but I'll get to that in a second.
I think I've covered all the important ones as far as I know. There are some lesser-known aspects, such as vampires being unable to cross bodies of water unless they're near the ground they were buried in, or having to count multiple objects if they're spilled on the ground. Not sure where that one started...
Though it would explain this guy.
As you look over all the points I covered, you may notice a particular theme: God hates vampires. The holy object thing is proof enough, but dying in sunlight or not casting reflections are all based in religious beliefs. Basically, vampires are sins against God, nature, and mankind, should not exist, and are a danger to anything and anyone around them.
They are not whiny emo kids trying to fit into society. They are not sympathetic humans gone wrong. While it can be argued that they didn't choose to become vampires, it must be established that, in most cases, all semblance of their original personality is gone as soon as they are turned. They pretty much die, and something else entirely is living in their body.
Oh, and I hate to sound like a broken record here, or that I'm jumping on a bandwagon, but vampires DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE!
But you fans may say "vampires have changed a lot over time! You even said that yourself!" And you would be right. BUT, it must be established, that for every change that was made, it was for a reason.
Let me make an example: There's a webcomic that I've been reading for a while now that focuses on various monsters. The main character is a vampire, but he can survive in sunlight. How? Apparently he's part of a new breed of vampires called "The Elite". These vampires can live in sunlight, don't require blood to survive, have more extensive shapeshifting powers, and retain more of their free will. In fact, what appears to be the series main battle on the horizon is a war between the normal vampires and the Elite. Why there are "Elite" vampires hasn't been explained, but the series is still ongoing, so there is plenty of time for an explanation to be made.
But the point is, for every change made, there is an established reason. When there isn't an established reason, then there is a decline. Which brings me to my next point: the vampire's look.
First, let's take a look at the first known vampire in cinema, Count Orlok of Nosferatu from the 20's.
Not exactly pretty, is he? In fact, he's downright hideous, looking like some sort of bat/human hybrid. As such, he has to rely solely on his hypnosis and sneaking into rooms at night while his victims are asleep.
Next, the most famous version of Dracula, namely the Bela Lugosi rendition from the 30's.
OK, still not exactly attractive, but now he looks like a human being. This actually makes him more dangerous, since he can blend into society and attack his victims at will. He's still relying on hypnosis and sneaking into rooms at night, though.
Now we have what is the considered the most vicious version of Dracula, the Christopher Lee rendition from the Hammer horror films.
OK, maybe that's a poor example, but this version was considered, in the films anyway, to actually be physically attractive. Meaning that this Dracula didn't really need to hypnotize anyone, he could just lure his victims in sexually. This is where the notion was born that vampires were extremely attractive beings that could use that to their advantage.
It should be noted, however, that Dracula's CHARACTER hadn't changed at this point. He was still the same heartless monster that he was in previous movies. In fact, some would argue that he was even moreso in the Hammer films, becoming a vicious brutal monster who attacked whoever he pleased and went on a long quest of revenge against the Van Helsing family line. Hell, just LOOK at that picture! That's a scary fucking monster!
But, like I said, the notion that vampires were physically attractive was implanted, and would be used from then on. While vampires were still treated as monsters for a period of time after the Hammer films, the 90's movie Bram Stoker's Dracula would actually cause a lot of harm to the perception of vampires. This movie starred Gary Oldman in the titular role, and actually had two different appearances:
Here he is at the start of the film.
He takes this form because he hasn't fed in quite some time, and as such, his physical appearance reflects his age. He has to rely on hypnosis again to regain his food source.
This is him after he's had enough blood.
Wow. Talk about a significant change. Long wavy hair, a mustache, sunglasses, and a top hat. No wonder the girls are all over him. Hell, he looks like Johnny Depp before Johnny Depp was popular! This is taking the "physical attractiveness" to ridiculous levels, but the character change would do much more damage.
See, in this movie, Dracula is played in a much more sympathetic light, going after the one girl because she reminds him of his long lost love. This goes against everything Dracula was in the past. Dracula was a vicious monster who attacked people because they were food or because they pissed him off. He held no feelings for anyone and only turned others into vampires so he could use them. He held no feelings for anyone and at some points wanted to rule the world. He did not, could not fall in love.
All the same, the damage had been done. Since then, multiple films and stories had been made about a vampire trying to fit into society, or a vampire in love with a human, or what have you, and it has severely damaged the public view of vampires.
However, I will easily admit that there is a right way to do this. If the vampire traits are all retained and aren't changed TOO drastically, and any changes that are made are given a reason, and the attraction between the human and the vampire is for a perfectly logical reason, then, conceivably, it could work.
Twilight does none of that. The traits of a vampire are changed seemingly at random and for convenience's sake, and there is NO explanation whatsoever as to why these changes were made. We don't know why the vampire sparkles, why they have reflections, why they bite the wrist instead of the neck (though I notice a metaphor for wrist-cutting there, and I'll spare you my thoughts on that), why they can't shapeshift but can instead jump around like a frog on steroids, and why they wangst about how they're freaks, even though they're pretty much superheroes with these changes in place. As for the attraction between the human and the vampire, I'll get to that later on.
But, even if we were to accept all these problems, there are still issues with the other male lead, the werewolf. Which I'll get to next time.
Whenever that is.
This won't be a short one. It'll be divided into three parts. The first two parts will be looking at the history of the monsters that the two male leads are based on, while the third will be looking at the actual love triangle.
I warn you: If you're a fan, you'd do best to walk away now.
Actually, stick around. I imagine you could use a little logic. You won't like it, but what can you do?
So, let's start with the main male protagonist, or more specifically, what he is: the vampire.
The vampire has changed a LOT in movies throughout the years. And I do mean a LOT. However, through all of the changes that have been made, there have been certain constants:
1.) Vampires die in sunlight.
This is one of the most well-known traits of the vampire, aside from its visual appearance. It has long been established that vampires attack their victims at night, because if they wandered out during the day, they would burn up and die. The reasons for this aren't exactly clear, but I believe it has to do with God being in the sun and that the dead should never see the sun again or whatever. Point is, they can't go out in sunlight. This has been tweaked a bit over the years, but never completely erased.
2.) Vampires cannot go near holy objects.
This is another big trait of the vampire, and ties in with what I mentioned before, about God and all that. Throughout the history of vampires in cinema, they would typically be repulsed or in some cases hurt just by looking at something considered holy, particularly crosses. In fact, two sticks put together in the shape of a cross would be enough to wound a vampire. This would later be modified to include holy objects from ALL religions, as well as saying that the wielder needed to believe in the respective religion for it to work. Of course, this wouldn't stay with all adaptations, but I find it to be a nice touch, continuing with the theme of vampires that I'll explain fully in a bit.
3.) Vampires need blood to survive.
This is possibly the biggest trait of all, that of the vampire's main food source: blood. Whether it has to be human blood or it can be any kind of blood is, again, dependent on the source, but the bottom line is, they need this. This is the source of their power, what makes them immortal. Without this, they would suffer and become weak. The reason behind this isn't exactly clear, but it's just been commonly accepted. They can't choose to not eat blood, because anything else will either taste terrible or cause them to be sick. This also ties in with how they kill their victims, by attacking the neck. Because the neck is a pathway between the brain and the heart, a lot of blood is moving within it, so, naturally, if the source of a creatures nourishment was blood, they would attack the biggest supply. Plus, it's a fairly vulnerable point on the human body. This can also tie in with how new vampires are created. It's been changed from completely draining blood, to only draining enough blood, to transferring some of their own blood, and so on. Either way, it usually needs to be in the process of feeding.
4.) Vampires are weak against garlic.
I'm not entirely sure where this began, but I think it was an old folk legend, where if you lay cloves of garlic around your door or your bed, a vampire can't touch you. Maybe garlic is considering holy as well, or maybe vampires just hate the smell. Either way, they hate it. It isn't considered to be a main weakness of a vampire, and certainly nothing that could kill it, but more of a deterrent, a way to protect a potential victim. Oddly enough, this is one of the traits that wouldn't be played around with too much, though it is commonly used as a joke when one is trying to have a laugh about vampires.
5.) One way to kill a vampire is to drive a stake through its heart.
This is one that most people know, particularly movie-goers who are watching the final battle between the vampire and the vampire-hunter, the latter of which is armed with a wooden stake, or more than one, in some cases. This has been altered from "need to hammer the stake in while they're asleep and then cut off the head" to "need to hammer the stake in while they're asleep" to "just stab them in the heart with the stake" to "just stab them in the heart" and so on. While it has changed considerably, it's almost always accepted that a) it needs to be something sharp and pointy, and b) it needs to be the heart.
6.) Vampires cannot cast reflections.
This is another well-known trait that is commonly used as a way to detect vampires: if they have no reflection in a mirror, they're a vampire. Again, not sure where this came from, but it probably ties in with them being undead and how they don't have souls or something. I guess in the old days they thought that the reflection was because of the soul. Point is, a vampire would not be seen in a mirror.
7.) Vampires have limited shapeshifting abilities.
Please note I said "limited". Throughout history, vampires are typically seen changing into bats, but have also changed into wolves, rats, bugs, or mist. This is, again, something that has been played with over the years, but not to the extent of the others. Normally, vampires just changed into abnormally-sized bats and that's the extent of it. It has become one of the more recognizable signs of a vampire, and more than likely explains the vampire bat's name.
8.) Vampires have hypnotic powers.
This is one of the more important aspects of a vampire, as it explains how they get their victims. In the old days, vampires were considered hideous undead creatures, so they needed to rely on hypnosis to lure their victims to them. This is the one that's been toyed with the most in cinema, to the point that in some cases the vampire doesn't have this ability at all. It's pretty clear why, but I'll get to that in a second.
I think I've covered all the important ones as far as I know. There are some lesser-known aspects, such as vampires being unable to cross bodies of water unless they're near the ground they were buried in, or having to count multiple objects if they're spilled on the ground. Not sure where that one started...

Though it would explain this guy.
As you look over all the points I covered, you may notice a particular theme: God hates vampires. The holy object thing is proof enough, but dying in sunlight or not casting reflections are all based in religious beliefs. Basically, vampires are sins against God, nature, and mankind, should not exist, and are a danger to anything and anyone around them.
They are not whiny emo kids trying to fit into society. They are not sympathetic humans gone wrong. While it can be argued that they didn't choose to become vampires, it must be established that, in most cases, all semblance of their original personality is gone as soon as they are turned. They pretty much die, and something else entirely is living in their body.
Oh, and I hate to sound like a broken record here, or that I'm jumping on a bandwagon, but vampires DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE!
But you fans may say "vampires have changed a lot over time! You even said that yourself!" And you would be right. BUT, it must be established, that for every change that was made, it was for a reason.
Let me make an example: There's a webcomic that I've been reading for a while now that focuses on various monsters. The main character is a vampire, but he can survive in sunlight. How? Apparently he's part of a new breed of vampires called "The Elite". These vampires can live in sunlight, don't require blood to survive, have more extensive shapeshifting powers, and retain more of their free will. In fact, what appears to be the series main battle on the horizon is a war between the normal vampires and the Elite. Why there are "Elite" vampires hasn't been explained, but the series is still ongoing, so there is plenty of time for an explanation to be made.
But the point is, for every change made, there is an established reason. When there isn't an established reason, then there is a decline. Which brings me to my next point: the vampire's look.
First, let's take a look at the first known vampire in cinema, Count Orlok of Nosferatu from the 20's.

Not exactly pretty, is he? In fact, he's downright hideous, looking like some sort of bat/human hybrid. As such, he has to rely solely on his hypnosis and sneaking into rooms at night while his victims are asleep.
Next, the most famous version of Dracula, namely the Bela Lugosi rendition from the 30's.

OK, still not exactly attractive, but now he looks like a human being. This actually makes him more dangerous, since he can blend into society and attack his victims at will. He's still relying on hypnosis and sneaking into rooms at night, though.
Now we have what is the considered the most vicious version of Dracula, the Christopher Lee rendition from the Hammer horror films.

OK, maybe that's a poor example, but this version was considered, in the films anyway, to actually be physically attractive. Meaning that this Dracula didn't really need to hypnotize anyone, he could just lure his victims in sexually. This is where the notion was born that vampires were extremely attractive beings that could use that to their advantage.
It should be noted, however, that Dracula's CHARACTER hadn't changed at this point. He was still the same heartless monster that he was in previous movies. In fact, some would argue that he was even moreso in the Hammer films, becoming a vicious brutal monster who attacked whoever he pleased and went on a long quest of revenge against the Van Helsing family line. Hell, just LOOK at that picture! That's a scary fucking monster!
But, like I said, the notion that vampires were physically attractive was implanted, and would be used from then on. While vampires were still treated as monsters for a period of time after the Hammer films, the 90's movie Bram Stoker's Dracula would actually cause a lot of harm to the perception of vampires. This movie starred Gary Oldman in the titular role, and actually had two different appearances:
Here he is at the start of the film.

He takes this form because he hasn't fed in quite some time, and as such, his physical appearance reflects his age. He has to rely on hypnosis again to regain his food source.
This is him after he's had enough blood.

Wow. Talk about a significant change. Long wavy hair, a mustache, sunglasses, and a top hat. No wonder the girls are all over him. Hell, he looks like Johnny Depp before Johnny Depp was popular! This is taking the "physical attractiveness" to ridiculous levels, but the character change would do much more damage.
See, in this movie, Dracula is played in a much more sympathetic light, going after the one girl because she reminds him of his long lost love. This goes against everything Dracula was in the past. Dracula was a vicious monster who attacked people because they were food or because they pissed him off. He held no feelings for anyone and only turned others into vampires so he could use them. He held no feelings for anyone and at some points wanted to rule the world. He did not, could not fall in love.
All the same, the damage had been done. Since then, multiple films and stories had been made about a vampire trying to fit into society, or a vampire in love with a human, or what have you, and it has severely damaged the public view of vampires.
However, I will easily admit that there is a right way to do this. If the vampire traits are all retained and aren't changed TOO drastically, and any changes that are made are given a reason, and the attraction between the human and the vampire is for a perfectly logical reason, then, conceivably, it could work.
Twilight does none of that. The traits of a vampire are changed seemingly at random and for convenience's sake, and there is NO explanation whatsoever as to why these changes were made. We don't know why the vampire sparkles, why they have reflections, why they bite the wrist instead of the neck (though I notice a metaphor for wrist-cutting there, and I'll spare you my thoughts on that), why they can't shapeshift but can instead jump around like a frog on steroids, and why they wangst about how they're freaks, even though they're pretty much superheroes with these changes in place. As for the attraction between the human and the vampire, I'll get to that later on.
But, even if we were to accept all these problems, there are still issues with the other male lead, the werewolf. Which I'll get to next time.
Whenever that is.