It was Saturday night and the soon to be three time Mayhem Champion Randy Studd was on a mission. He was prepared. He knew he had to get down to the ComicCon, and he knew that he was going to need a disguise.
Batman? Too gloomy. Spiderman? Too young. Iron Man? Too nerdy. He came upon the best secret costume of all. Superman.
Studd eased himself into a superman t-shirt he bought online and his little sisters electric blue workout leggings before pulling a pair of red speedos over the top that he had picked up at the second hand shop. He opened up his XL size pot of wet look hair gel, and poured the entire contents on his hair, before combing it into a side parting.
Grabbing his cape, which had until this moment been the towel that his mother used to dry the cat when it came in from the rain, he made his way to the bus stop.
At the bus stop, Studd got the same stares he was used to by now. It wasn’t easy being this much of a ladies man. A thousand looks asking “Why are you dressed like that?”, though nobody wanted to engage him in conversation. Studd was sure it was because he was intimidatingly handsome.
He got off the bus near the convention centre. Stepping off the bus he was immediately confronted by a youtuber filming interviews with the various cosplayers.
“Aren’t you Randy Studd?”
Studd didn’t understand how anyone could have possibly seen through his ingenious outfit. He affected a gruff, Christian Balesque voice.
“Err… No. I’m Superman”
The youtuber was not convinced.
“Yeah, I can see what your costume is, but you’re actually Randy Studd. I know because I watch all the preshows to WZCW events, but not the events themselves as they’re too mainstream.”
Studd was shocked at how good this guy’s detective skills were.
“No, my real name is… Andy.. Rudd”
The youtuber remained unconvinced.
“Look, I take it you’re here for the Mayhem championship. That would be a real scoop for my channel if I could get the turn over, do you mind if I film it?”
“Only if you get my good side”
“Which side is that?”
“Both of them”
“…”
Studd knew by now he was looking for Spidergwen. Trouble was, he didn’t know who that was. Fortunately there was still a crowd gathered around from the previous effort and he could see the Mayhem Championship in the melee, and he knew this was his chance.
Near the champion stood four people dressed as 70s teenagers and someone in a huge Great Dane costume, with head.
Studd addressed the youtuber “Four kids and a huge bitch, guess they must be the Beckhams. I wonder where David is?”
“I think they’re the Scooby gang, they even have a Mystery Machine.”
“Whatever, are you ready?”
“Yep. Rolling”
Studd charged at the group, sending Scooby Snax flying everywhere, and knocking Velma over, who lost her glasses in the process. Studd speared Spidergwen into the side of the Mystery Machine before opening the back of it. He started to empty its contents, before using them as weapons on the dazed champ.
He broke a witch’s broom over her back, choked her with a ghost shaped sheet and finally crashed a Jackolantern over her head. He then picked her up for a Hey Ladies, and delivered it straight down onto the concrete.
Studd couldn’t believe he was about to become a three time champion. Getting ahead of himself, he pulled his phone out of his speedos and dialled the only woman in his phone book, his mother.
“Hey mom, just wanted to let you know that you can tell Kevin that he’s still not my real dad and I am not a total loser and I do have a real job, I’m the next Mayhem Champion. I have pulled it off and tricked everyone, or nearly everyone anyway, with this genius costu..”
Before he had chance to finish his phonecall, Scooby Doo jumped with a flying axe handle off the top of the Mystery Machine, clubbing Studd and sending the phone flying. He lifted him onto his shoulders, and dropped his head to his knee. Taking his costume head off, Scooby Doo revealed himself to be Garth Black. Black uttered “and you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for this meddling kid”, before moving over to the still downed Spidergwen and making a pin.