Jeff Deliverer of Mail
Money for nothin, chicks for free
Mick appears through the crowd and jumps down for the count.. 1...2....3!
New champion, Callie Clark!
New champion, Callie Clark!
WZCW 24/7 Mayhem thread
- Thread starter Lee
- Start date
Skairipa Matrix
3 Time Elite Openweight Champion
Callie smirks as she grabs the Mayhem Championship off the ground, and slings it over her shoulder before blowing Alice a kiss goodbye.
Sucks to suck, sweetheart.
Callie runs out of the festival with McRae following closely behind. Callie pulls out her cell phone while running.
Yes hi, I need a town car like now, I'll pay double the normal rate. Where am I? Um...leaving some college Halloween party. No I don't know the exact location, I just ran past Main Street, find me! I don't have time for arguing, just track my phone or something!
Callie hung up and kept running for another couple minutes before a town car pulled up with the driver rolling down the window.
Hey yo, you call for a town car?
Ugh yes, finally!
Callie jumped into the backseat of the car and put the Mayhem Championship down on the backseat next to her.
Is there a comic con going on? Good. Take me there.
Ten minutes or so later, Callie walked into the city's comic book convention and looked around, before finding a place selling cosplay items.
It's not my high quality stuff, but it'll have to do. I need to change disguises if I don't wanna be found. Plus I soooo don't rock the Death Eater look.
Callie went up to the booth and bought a Spidergwen costume, before hurrying to the bathroom and changing into it.
Now to blend in with the crowd....and maybe do a little shopping.
Sucks to suck, sweetheart.
Callie runs out of the festival with McRae following closely behind. Callie pulls out her cell phone while running.
Yes hi, I need a town car like now, I'll pay double the normal rate. Where am I? Um...leaving some college Halloween party. No I don't know the exact location, I just ran past Main Street, find me! I don't have time for arguing, just track my phone or something!
Callie hung up and kept running for another couple minutes before a town car pulled up with the driver rolling down the window.
Hey yo, you call for a town car?
Ugh yes, finally!
Callie jumped into the backseat of the car and put the Mayhem Championship down on the backseat next to her.
Is there a comic con going on? Good. Take me there.
Ten minutes or so later, Callie walked into the city's comic book convention and looked around, before finding a place selling cosplay items.
It's not my high quality stuff, but it'll have to do. I need to change disguises if I don't wanna be found. Plus I soooo don't rock the Death Eater look.
Callie went up to the booth and bought a Spidergwen costume, before hurrying to the bathroom and changing into it.
Now to blend in with the crowd....and maybe do a little shopping.
Spidey Revivey
Porn is okay here long as it ain't dudes.
Stetson: I don't know why you done talked me into this, woman. We coulda went to a rodeo or the damn fair. Why am I lookin' at porn stars in spandex?
The Minutemen film crew followed the Hayes Family at the comic book convention.
Angie: Can you think of somebody other than yourself for a gotdang minute? Your son wanted to go. He's really into Ghost Rider and Sam Elliot was gonna make an appearance. Just lighten up and go talk to one of them camgirls or something. Let him have his day.
Stetson: Sam Elliot...at least we raised the boy right, Angela. I'll be over at the booth where the sad old people sit. Oh wait.
He chuckled at his own joke, and moved through the crowd. He shook his head at the Jonah Hex cosplayers, passed the heavyset Sailor Moons, and bumped into a gaggle of Spidermen - one wearing a hood.They dropped something from their shoulder and bent down to pick it up.
Stetson: You look like a vulva...wait a cotton pickin' minute...is that a WZCW title?!
???: Get your grody claws off of me!
Hayes stared down at the superheroine, confused.
Stetson: I know dat voice. Nails on a chalkboard...never shuts her trap...phone in her hand...Uh Callie? Callie Clark? What are ye doing with another title?
Callie: It's Mayhem 24/7, you neanderthal. Get with the times. Superstars are fighting all over the place to get the chance to hold this gold. #Hardcore. #MadamMayhem.
Stetson: If you didn't get it in the ring, it don't count.
She looked taken aback. The cowboy wasn't even looking at her anymore.
Callie: RUDE. Go find a rocking chair to sit in while I get some cred in this company...John Wayne havin' ass...
Stetson blocked her from leaving.
Stetson: Don't disrespect the good name of The Duke in front of me.
Callie: You mean the guy that plays the same character in every single movie he's in? That Duke? Even when he's Genghis freaking Khan? Tell me, how does it feel knowing Tommy Wiseau has more range than your hero?
Stetson Hayes grabbed her by her waist and threw her into a small herd of bearded Wonder Women. They fell like dominoes, bringing a cardboard cutout of the Norse God Thor down on Callie's head. She glared at the Texan.
Callie: Did you think that was gonna hu-
Stetson dived on top of a rather chunky Diana Prince, who belly-flopped on top of Callie Clark. Clark gasped as she felt her life flash before her eyes.Referee McRae shoved geeks aside to call the pinfall. Stetson quickly rolled the sweaty goddess aside and hooked the current Mayhem Champion's leg.
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Jeff Deliverer of Mail
Money for nothin, chicks for free
Mick jumps down for the cover 1....2... Callie kicks out!
"Ahem! You want to explain what the hell yer doin on top of this woman?!"
Stetson didnt even look up, he could hear his woman tapping her foot and knew those arms were crossed too.
Mick announced Callie Clark was still champion as Stetson used the distraction to escape.
"Ahem! You want to explain what the hell yer doin on top of this woman?!"
Stetson didnt even look up, he could hear his woman tapping her foot and knew those arms were crossed too.
Mick announced Callie Clark was still champion as Stetson used the distraction to escape.
Hyorinmaru
Sit Upon The Frozen Heavens
After a few days staying under the radar Tony figured he would enjoy himself by induldging on one of his secret pleasures and goes to small locak ComiCons. He is looking around when he sees new WZCW ref Michael McRae keeping an eye on a young woman in a Spidergwen costume holding a replica Mayhem Title belt. After a few seconds of staring at that beautiful ass Tony looks back and forth from McRae to the woman.
"Hold on a second," Tony says as a light goes on over his head. "If McRae is here that means that woman holding the Mayhem Title has to be Callie Clark."
Tony goes up to McRae and motions for him to follow. With the ref behind him Tony quietly walks up behind her and listens to her demand that the vendor goes and finds a particukar shirt in her size. As the vendor turns his back to Callie Tony grabs her by the scruff of her neck and the sest of her pants, throwing her over the vendor's table and into everything on the other side. As Callie lays there with piles of posters, t-shirts and assorted nerd gear on top of her Tony goes for the pin.
"Hold on a second," Tony says as a light goes on over his head. "If McRae is here that means that woman holding the Mayhem Title has to be Callie Clark."
Tony goes up to McRae and motions for him to follow. With the ref behind him Tony quietly walks up behind her and listens to her demand that the vendor goes and finds a particukar shirt in her size. As the vendor turns his back to Callie Tony grabs her by the scruff of her neck and the sest of her pants, throwing her over the vendor's table and into everything on the other side. As Callie lays there with piles of posters, t-shirts and assorted nerd gear on top of her Tony goes for the pin.
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Lee
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermod!
In all the chaos another Spider-Gwen runs to escape. She spots a Funko Pop figure stand and hides out amongst there. Which of the 13 Harry Potter pops will she buy? Only a geek would get all 13 of them. She decides she wants the Quidditch Harry Potter.
"Sorry m'aam but the last one has just been sold to that guy".
The camera turns to unveil a tall man with long blonde lowing flocks and a giant sword. "It can't be" wonders Spider-Gwen as she launches an attack straight away on Cloud Strife. He crashes to the ground. Spider-Gwen climbs up on a table and hits a CallieASSault. Cloud, not Theron, stands up and looks rather bemused. He still has his Pop and holds it above his head like Link from Zelda.
"That's mine" a voice says as Daniel Radcliffe, out of nowhere, hits Cloud with a punch. He falls to the ground on top of Spider-Gwen Callie.
McRae smiles. He runs. He goes for the cover.
"Sorry m'aam but the last one has just been sold to that guy".
The camera turns to unveil a tall man with long blonde lowing flocks and a giant sword. "It can't be" wonders Spider-Gwen as she launches an attack straight away on Cloud Strife. He crashes to the ground. Spider-Gwen climbs up on a table and hits a CallieASSault. Cloud, not Theron, stands up and looks rather bemused. He still has his Pop and holds it above his head like Link from Zelda.
"That's mine" a voice says as Daniel Radcliffe, out of nowhere, hits Cloud with a punch. He falls to the ground on top of Spider-Gwen Callie.
McRae smiles. He runs. He goes for the cover.
Lee
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermod!
McRae makes the count. 1...2...Kickout. Random Cloud cosplay guy is confused. He stands up and looks around seeing another Random Cloud cosplay guy. He's holding hands with an attractive female who has a black eye. Maybe she ran into the door?
Challengers open.
Challengers open.
It was Saturday night and the soon to be three time Mayhem Champion Randy Studd was on a mission. He was prepared. He knew he had to get down to the ComicCon, and he knew that he was going to need a disguise.
Batman? Too gloomy. Spiderman? Too young. Iron Man? Too nerdy. He came upon the best secret costume of all. Superman.
Studd eased himself into a superman t-shirt he bought online and his little sisters electric blue workout leggings before pulling a pair of red speedos over the top that he had picked up at the second hand shop. He opened up his XL size pot of wet look hair gel, and poured the entire contents on his hair, before combing it into a side parting.
Grabbing his cape, which had until this moment been the towel that his mother used to dry the cat when it came in from the rain, he made his way to the bus stop.
At the bus stop, Studd got the same stares he was used to by now. It wasn’t easy being this much of a ladies man. A thousand looks asking “Why are you dressed like that?”, though nobody wanted to engage him in conversation. Studd was sure it was because he was intimidatingly handsome.
He got off the bus near the convention centre. Stepping off the bus he was immediately confronted by a youtuber filming interviews with the various cosplayers.
“Aren’t you Randy Studd?”
Studd didn’t understand how anyone could have possibly seen through his ingenious outfit. He affected a gruff, Christian Balesque voice.
“Err… No. I’m Superman”
The youtuber was not convinced.
“Yeah, I can see what your costume is, but you’re actually Randy Studd. I know because I watch all the preshows to WZCW events, but not the events themselves as they’re too mainstream.”
Studd was shocked at how good this guy’s detective skills were.
“No, my real name is… Andy.. Rudd”
The youtuber remained unconvinced.
“Look, I take it you’re here for the Mayhem championship. That would be a real scoop for my channel if I could get the turn over, do you mind if I film it?”
“Only if you get my good side”
“Which side is that?”
“Both of them”
“…”
Studd knew by now he was looking for Spidergwen. Trouble was, he didn’t know who that was. Fortunately there was still a crowd gathered around from the previous effort and he could see the Mayhem Championship in the melee, and he knew this was his chance.
Near the champion stood four people dressed as 70s teenagers and someone in a huge Great Dane costume, with head.
Studd addressed the youtuber “Four kids and a huge bitch, guess they must be the Beckhams. I wonder where David is?”
“I think they’re the Scooby gang, they even have a Mystery Machine.”
“Whatever, are you ready?”
“Yep. Rolling”
Studd charged at the group, sending Scooby Snax flying everywhere, and knocking Velma over, who lost her glasses in the process. Studd speared Spidergwen into the side of the Mystery Machine before opening the back of it. He started to empty its contents, before using them as weapons on the dazed champ.
He broke a witch’s broom over her back, choked her with a ghost shaped sheet and finally crashed a Jackolantern over her head. He then picked her up for a Hey Ladies, and delivered it straight down onto the concrete.
Studd couldn’t believe he was about to become a three time champion. Getting ahead of himself, he pulled his phone out of his speedos and dialled the only woman in his phone book, his mother.
“Hey mom, just wanted to let you know that you can tell Kevin that he’s still not my real dad and I am not a total loser and I do have a real job, I’m the next Mayhem Champion. I have pulled it off and tricked everyone, or nearly everyone anyway, with this genius costu..”
Before he had chance to finish his phonecall, Scooby Doo jumped with a flying axe handle off the top of the Mystery Machine, clubbing Studd and sending the phone flying. He lifted him onto his shoulders, and dropped his head to his knee. Taking his costume head off, Scooby Doo revealed himself to be Garth Black. Black uttered “and you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for this meddling kid”, before moving over to the still downed Spidergwen and making a pin.
Batman? Too gloomy. Spiderman? Too young. Iron Man? Too nerdy. He came upon the best secret costume of all. Superman.
Studd eased himself into a superman t-shirt he bought online and his little sisters electric blue workout leggings before pulling a pair of red speedos over the top that he had picked up at the second hand shop. He opened up his XL size pot of wet look hair gel, and poured the entire contents on his hair, before combing it into a side parting.
Grabbing his cape, which had until this moment been the towel that his mother used to dry the cat when it came in from the rain, he made his way to the bus stop.
At the bus stop, Studd got the same stares he was used to by now. It wasn’t easy being this much of a ladies man. A thousand looks asking “Why are you dressed like that?”, though nobody wanted to engage him in conversation. Studd was sure it was because he was intimidatingly handsome.
He got off the bus near the convention centre. Stepping off the bus he was immediately confronted by a youtuber filming interviews with the various cosplayers.
“Aren’t you Randy Studd?”
Studd didn’t understand how anyone could have possibly seen through his ingenious outfit. He affected a gruff, Christian Balesque voice.
“Err… No. I’m Superman”
The youtuber was not convinced.
“Yeah, I can see what your costume is, but you’re actually Randy Studd. I know because I watch all the preshows to WZCW events, but not the events themselves as they’re too mainstream.”
Studd was shocked at how good this guy’s detective skills were.
“No, my real name is… Andy.. Rudd”
The youtuber remained unconvinced.
“Look, I take it you’re here for the Mayhem championship. That would be a real scoop for my channel if I could get the turn over, do you mind if I film it?”
“Only if you get my good side”
“Which side is that?”
“Both of them”
“…”
Studd knew by now he was looking for Spidergwen. Trouble was, he didn’t know who that was. Fortunately there was still a crowd gathered around from the previous effort and he could see the Mayhem Championship in the melee, and he knew this was his chance.
Near the champion stood four people dressed as 70s teenagers and someone in a huge Great Dane costume, with head.
Studd addressed the youtuber “Four kids and a huge bitch, guess they must be the Beckhams. I wonder where David is?”
“I think they’re the Scooby gang, they even have a Mystery Machine.”
“Whatever, are you ready?”
“Yep. Rolling”
Studd charged at the group, sending Scooby Snax flying everywhere, and knocking Velma over, who lost her glasses in the process. Studd speared Spidergwen into the side of the Mystery Machine before opening the back of it. He started to empty its contents, before using them as weapons on the dazed champ.
He broke a witch’s broom over her back, choked her with a ghost shaped sheet and finally crashed a Jackolantern over her head. He then picked her up for a Hey Ladies, and delivered it straight down onto the concrete.
Studd couldn’t believe he was about to become a three time champion. Getting ahead of himself, he pulled his phone out of his speedos and dialled the only woman in his phone book, his mother.
“Hey mom, just wanted to let you know that you can tell Kevin that he’s still not my real dad and I am not a total loser and I do have a real job, I’m the next Mayhem Champion. I have pulled it off and tricked everyone, or nearly everyone anyway, with this genius costu..”
Before he had chance to finish his phonecall, Scooby Doo jumped with a flying axe handle off the top of the Mystery Machine, clubbing Studd and sending the phone flying. He lifted him onto his shoulders, and dropped his head to his knee. Taking his costume head off, Scooby Doo revealed himself to be Garth Black. Black uttered “and you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for this meddling kid”, before moving over to the still downed Spidergwen and making a pin.
Garth Black, triumphantly picked up the Mayhem Championship, got in the Mystery Machine with Daphne and she drove out of the convention centre. Black tossed a box of Scooby Snax over Randy Studd, who was by now weeping into his cape as they drove by.
Black was obviously delighted to be the Mayhem Champion, but he now knew that he needed to turn his attention on the Eurasian Championship later in the week. Before he could do any of that though, he needed to go to the dentist for a check up. Being British, this was the first time he'd been to the dentist since 1998, so he knew he would be there for a while.
He exited the Mystery Machine at the surgery, waving goodbye to Daphne, and entered Dr Colgate's office.
As expected, there was a lot of work to be done. Dr. Colgate gave him a novocaine injection, and after reading the Reader's Digest December 1983 (the most recent magazine in the waiting room), he returned to the dentist's chair for the surgery to begin.
Black was obviously delighted to be the Mayhem Champion, but he now knew that he needed to turn his attention on the Eurasian Championship later in the week. Before he could do any of that though, he needed to go to the dentist for a check up. Being British, this was the first time he'd been to the dentist since 1998, so he knew he would be there for a while.
He exited the Mystery Machine at the surgery, waving goodbye to Daphne, and entered Dr Colgate's office.
As expected, there was a lot of work to be done. Dr. Colgate gave him a novocaine injection, and after reading the Reader's Digest December 1983 (the most recent magazine in the waiting room), he returned to the dentist's chair for the surgery to begin.
Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
"I'm telling you, the dentist is bullshit. They just stab you in the gums and then say you are bleeding because you don't floss enough."
"Grandpa said we got a letter from corporate saying its part of our yearly physical. Plus it sets a good example for the students, making sure we stay in top shape."
I crossed my arms and huffed. I was a Hall of Famer, I was the current Elite Overweight Champion. I wasn't going to be stuck reading a Highlights For Children from the seventies.
About an hour had passed and my phone was dead, so I started to read the Highlights For Children that was over twice my age.
"Dr. Colgate, Garth Black is finally out. We are ready for you to begin now."
I looked over at Matt. He already knew.
"No."
"Dude, you should go pin Garth while he is out. Being British I bet he is gonna be out for weeks. Get that gold so Live Mas can be Live Mas Oro!"
Matt shook his head.
"I'm not getting into that Mayhem bullshit again. It isn't worth it. It isn't even real gold. It's a piece of tin they make Leon spray paint gold."
"Then I'll go pin him. I'll be the Elite Overweight Mayhem champ."
"You can't be a dual champion, it's against the WZCW by-laws. It would break the space time continuum or some shit. Besides, you doing this will probably just annoy people."
"Dude, annoying people is what got me here."
I sprang to my feet, making sure to grab my Elite Overweight Title and bring it with me. I opened the first few doors, but no Garth Black was to be found.
"Limey prick. Just take care of your teeth. How hard is it?"
I went to the sound of that voice and sneaked into the room. I put a choke hold on the dentist to take him out before I pushed Black off the chair and into the floor. He was out cold from the gas, which was needed since he is British and admitted to having bad teeth. Is that joke evident yet? I strapped my Elite Overweight Title tight and readied to make history as I stood with my foot on Black's chest and flexed.
"Get in here Irish stereotype referee!"
Referee Michael McRae, the second coolest Michael in the building, ran into the room. He was just fitted for braces and still had headgear on.
"Leave it to Mikey to take a joke and run it so far into the ground it is no longer funny."
It didn't stop Matt from peaking in as Referee McRae started to count the pin.
"Grandpa said we got a letter from corporate saying its part of our yearly physical. Plus it sets a good example for the students, making sure we stay in top shape."
I crossed my arms and huffed. I was a Hall of Famer, I was the current Elite Overweight Champion. I wasn't going to be stuck reading a Highlights For Children from the seventies.
About an hour had passed and my phone was dead, so I started to read the Highlights For Children that was over twice my age.
"Dr. Colgate, Garth Black is finally out. We are ready for you to begin now."
I looked over at Matt. He already knew.
"No."
"Dude, you should go pin Garth while he is out. Being British I bet he is gonna be out for weeks. Get that gold so Live Mas can be Live Mas Oro!"
Matt shook his head.
"I'm not getting into that Mayhem bullshit again. It isn't worth it. It isn't even real gold. It's a piece of tin they make Leon spray paint gold."
"Then I'll go pin him. I'll be the Elite Overweight Mayhem champ."
"You can't be a dual champion, it's against the WZCW by-laws. It would break the space time continuum or some shit. Besides, you doing this will probably just annoy people."
"Dude, annoying people is what got me here."
I sprang to my feet, making sure to grab my Elite Overweight Title and bring it with me. I opened the first few doors, but no Garth Black was to be found.
"Limey prick. Just take care of your teeth. How hard is it?"
I went to the sound of that voice and sneaked into the room. I put a choke hold on the dentist to take him out before I pushed Black off the chair and into the floor. He was out cold from the gas, which was needed since he is British and admitted to having bad teeth. Is that joke evident yet? I strapped my Elite Overweight Title tight and readied to make history as I stood with my foot on Black's chest and flexed.
"Get in here Irish stereotype referee!"
Referee Michael McRae, the second coolest Michael in the building, ran into the room. He was just fitted for braces and still had headgear on.
"Leave it to Mikey to take a joke and run it so far into the ground it is no longer funny."
It didn't stop Matt from peaking in as Referee McRae started to count the pin.
Jeff Deliverer of Mail
Money for nothin, chicks for free
1.....2....3!
New Champion, Mikey Stormrage!
New Champion, Mikey Stormrage!
Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
"I FUCKING TOLD YOU!"
I ran out with my Elite Overweight Title strapped around my waist and my newly won Mayhem Title in my hand.
"SUCK IT DALE STEVENSON FROM SIXTH GRADE WHO SAID I WAS A LOSER! I'M THE FIRST DUAL CHAMPION IN WZCW HISTORY WHILE YOU ARE NOW A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER FOR BEING THIRTY AND KNOCKING UP A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD!"
I ran to Matt's arms and we hugged in the most non sexual way two men who have shared rooms together can hug.
"Congrats, I'm happy for......."
I kicked Matt in the balls so he wouldn't try to steal my title. I ran outside and jumped in my rental and sped down the road. I knew I would have to burn a lot of energy defending thus thing so I decided to stop for food. I knew where I had to go. I pulled into the parking lot of Taco Bell.
"No, too obvious. They will all be expecting this."
I put the car in reverse and backed up, through traffic, to the Chipotle across the street. I quickly ordered a burrito as big as my head, but it was laced with E. coli. I had to shit and didn't have access to my private champion's bathroom.
I ran into the men's room and found an open stall. I wasn't yet finished when I heard someone say champion. They were onto me. I pinched it off and ran to the back to hide out. It was there that I saw a God send. A cardboard box.
"Time to Solid Snake up in this bitch."
I grabbed the box and crawled under it. I knew no one would recognize me under the box, but was worried my smell would give me away.
I ran out with my Elite Overweight Title strapped around my waist and my newly won Mayhem Title in my hand.
"SUCK IT DALE STEVENSON FROM SIXTH GRADE WHO SAID I WAS A LOSER! I'M THE FIRST DUAL CHAMPION IN WZCW HISTORY WHILE YOU ARE NOW A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER FOR BEING THIRTY AND KNOCKING UP A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD!"
I ran to Matt's arms and we hugged in the most non sexual way two men who have shared rooms together can hug.
"Congrats, I'm happy for......."
I kicked Matt in the balls so he wouldn't try to steal my title. I ran outside and jumped in my rental and sped down the road. I knew I would have to burn a lot of energy defending thus thing so I decided to stop for food. I knew where I had to go. I pulled into the parking lot of Taco Bell.
"No, too obvious. They will all be expecting this."
I put the car in reverse and backed up, through traffic, to the Chipotle across the street. I quickly ordered a burrito as big as my head, but it was laced with E. coli. I had to shit and didn't have access to my private champion's bathroom.
I ran into the men's room and found an open stall. I wasn't yet finished when I heard someone say champion. They were onto me. I pinched it off and ran to the back to hide out. It was there that I saw a God send. A cardboard box.
"Time to Solid Snake up in this bitch."
I grabbed the box and crawled under it. I knew no one would recognize me under the box, but was worried my smell would give me away.
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