Well this kinda sucks

[The Doctor]

So, anyone here who knows me well knows that I have recently (a few months ago. Recent-ish, I guess) been broken up with, and that it was an online relationship.

Well, I thought I was pretty much over it by now. I'm not quite ready to have another girlfriend, but I was hoping to be passed the point where it affected me.

Well, the other week, we talked on the phone for the first time since the breakup. It wasn't a happy reason (One of our mutual friends went out and got drunk) but after I explained what our friend had done, she told me of some fears she had in her life and it almost seemed like old times. It was pretty amazing.

Anyway, a day or so ago she posted in a thread on the forum we met talking about her huge crush on one of her friends, and then talked about also really liking his brother. She then proceeded to describe why he was exactly her type.

She could have been describing me.

And this just...hurt. I can't really describe it. It just made me feel as though I wasn't good enough for her. I'm trying to put her out of my mind and move on, but it's hard. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore. I don't have anyone who is instantly happy whenever I log on, and no one I feel I can tell everything to. It really sucks, you know?

I have no idea why I made this thread. I don't know i I'm looking for pity or advice or anything. Maybe I'm just tired. I don't know.

 

[X]

First off, let me just say this:

ANY PRICK WHO DECIDES TO MOCK DOC FOR THE WHOLE ONLINE THING, WILL BE INFRACTED. I AM SAYING THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW, AND CLEARLY. UNDERSTAND? YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Now give me a second to actually respond to your post.

 

[Jane]

Have you met her in real life? Just wondering.

 

[Dexter]

There's no advice I can give you that won't come off as lame and half-assed, Doc. There's just nothing I can say that will cover it. Just know that I've been there, and I sympathize.

If you need anything, you can PM me here, or you have me on FB.

 

[Paradox]

Dude, I know what that's like.... I dated a girl for a year, and then she started dating another guy. Well when she told me about him. He was almost just like me... I really didn't get why we had broken up to begin with. I felt that it's a slap in the face... I can't really say that it's going to get better, because there are still times that I think about her, and it hurts. You just have to try your best to not let it affect you. I know it's not the easiest thing to do...

Dude you need someone to talk to, you got my pm box, I think I added you on the good ole facebook to so hit me up!

 

[The Doctor]

Have you met her in real life? Just wondering.

I was planning to, and still am planning to. Whenever we get enough money and time I am traveling to Boston and will meet up with her.

And, Dex, X, Bubba....thanks.

 

[Dexter]

I was planning to, and still am planning to. Whenever we get enough money and time I am traveling to Boston and will meet up with her.

Be fucking careful. That's all I'm going to say, and I'm sure you don't even need me to say it, but still. Be. Careful.

 

[Paradox]

Yeah, bro I echo what Dex said. It would caution against it... It's going to be extremely difficult to talk to her, let allow see her after this....

 

[The Doctor]

Be fucking careful. That's all I'm going to say, and I'm sure you don't even need me to say it, but still. Be. Careful.

I know, I'll have my parents with me. But, I mean, we've webcammed a gazillion times, I have her on Facebook, we've talked on the phone a ton...

I know the rules of meeting someone, don't worry.

 

[Dexter]

I know, I'll have my parents with me. But, I mean, we've webcammed a gazillion times, I have her on Facebook, we've talked on the phone a ton...

I know the rules of meeting someone, don't worry.

That's NOT what I'm talking about. I'm trying really hard not to be intrusive here, I really am, but seriously. Think about this a lot before you do it.

 

[X]

So, anyone here who knows me well knows that I have recently (a few months ago. Recent-ish, I guess) been broken up with, and that it was an online relationship.

Well, I thought I was pretty much over it by now. I'm not quite ready to have another girlfriend, but I was hoping to be passed the point where it affected me.

Well, the other week, we talked on the phone for the first time since the breakup. It wasn't a happy reason (One of our mutual friends went out and got drunk) but after I explained what our friend had done, she told me of some fears she had in her life and it almost seemed like old times. It was pretty amazing.

Anyway, a day or so ago she posted in a thread on the forum we met talking about her huge crush on one of her friends, and then talked about also really liking his brother. She then proceeded to describe why he was exactly her type.

She could have been describing me.

And this just...hurt. I can't really describe it. It just made me feel as though I wasn't good enough for her. I'm trying to put her out of my mind and move on, but it's hard. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore. I don't have anyone who is instantly happy whenever I log on, and no one I feel I can tell everything to. It really sucks, you know?

I have no idea why I made this thread. I don't know i I'm looking for pity or advice or anything. Maybe I'm just tired. I don't know.

Let me just tell you Doc, that I know exactly what you're talking about right now. When I was 14-15, it was the cool thing for some reason for everyone to have their own online journal. LiveJournal, GreatestJournal, Xanga, etc. So I know exactly what you're talking about right now, because the same exact thing happened to me with a girl that I had been dating (IRL) off and on for several years. I was blindly in love with her, and she was for me for a few years. But I fucked all of that up. I broke promises that I shouldn't have is all I'll say. I however was at that time incarcerated in a rehab facility, and had been for 8 months. She still stayed loyal to me through out almost all of that time, until I went out, relapsed, and broke her heart too many times. The thing is though, when I finally did get out after those 8 months, she wouldn't answer my calls. I went by her house, and was told she wasn't there all the time. I had to wait until I went online and saw her journal and the words "I love Andrew" written all over her journal. Apparently she had just decided to break up with me during that last month that was tacked onto my treatment for my relapse, and failed to tell me about it. So I know exactly the feeling that you're talking about here Doc, because I too have gone through that same feeling of not being good enough for someone.

The worst thing about it though was just losing her as a friend. Which is what I think you're getting at here as well. Having no one to talk to like that, like you're sharing your soul. Man I know that feeling well, trust me. All I can say is that you just have to try and move on. That's not to say you shouldn't give up hope. If you think there's still a possibility of getting back together, go for it. But if not, you've just got to grit your teeth, pump up the jams, and bear through it. Lost love is among the very worst feelings a man or woman could ever have. But you've simply got to look to the future, and remind yourself "I'm only 17, I've got so much time ahead of me". That's the same thing I used to do, and it really does help. You have SO MANY years left, both of us do man!

I understand you coming out like this and wanting to share this on here, and I don't think anyone should be afraid to do such a thing on this forum (despite what some of the internet tough guys on here might tell you). My PM box is open brother.

Let me also just add that I too have done the online thing, and we did end up meeting up in real life, and currently we are a couple once again. So anyone who tries to shit on the online dating thing can go fuck themselves, because we're case in point that it's real and it works and it's just as valid as any other love.

 

[Jane]

I'd never meet anyone online without a gun. Not because I'm scared of them, but so they couldn't escape.

Sorry, way out of line. Carry on.