klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Saturday
Jake Roberts’ dad passed away.
Sunday
Nothing new on Danielson, but it looks like he’s really gone. I’m not sold still.
Slammiversary
Date: June 13, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
This is the anniversary show which is called Slammiversary VIII, even though it’s the 5th of this show I think. There’s no KOTM this year which kind of sucks, but it’s the new era I suppose. I haven’t been thrilled with this card, but then again I’m not TNA’s target audience I guess. RVD vs. Sting isn’t my favorite program but it’ll do fine for a less huge PPV, which this isn’t. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about the history, as you would expect. They do a good bit about Angle vs. Joe which indeed was a big moment, but damn that could have been epic if they built it up long enough. Ok, Van Dam winning the belt was cool, but not a huge moment in company history.
Kazarian vs. Kurt Angle
Well this should be decent. Short I’d bet but decent. Also Angle is opening a show. Well he said he wanted to start at the bottom and work his way back up. I love that beard on Angle. The fans are way behind Angle so that’s at least making sense. Angle is billed as a 13 time world champion. Yeah sure. New rankings come out on Thursday so we’ll know who gets nothing for the next month.
And let’s talk about Flair. We actually got 9 minutes before we mentioned him. That has to be a new record for not mentioning him and Hogan. The fans chant for the USA, which Kaz is from. They must hate Angle all of a sudden. The referee wants to DQ Kaz but Angle tells him not to. I like the whole high flying vs. mat work stuff. They’re two of the basic three styles and matches where they’re against each other work best.
Angle hits a German to get himself out of trouble and we’re back to even. Angle Slam of course doesn’t work. Were you expecting something else? Naturally we talk about Angle’s neck which apparently can’t heal according to announcers. Both kick out of finishers but the ankle lock ends it which isn’t all that surprising.
We recap the feud between Kendrick and Williams, which isn’t a feud nor do we recap it. More or less they just say they’re having a match.
X-Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Brian Kendrick
Yeah…this isn’t a feud. Somehow Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal has more build than this. We’re told about how it’s about no limits, even though neither member of Team No Limit ever won the belt and how one guy over the traditional cruiserweight weight limit has ever won the title. Williams working the traditional style is very interesting as he’s skilled enough at it to make it annoying. The fans get on him as he’s dominating with incredibly basic stuff.
Since it’s been all Williams, I’m thinking Kendrick wins it. Kendrick tries to get things going and it only works to an extent. The referee’s shirt is extra blue here and I kind of like it. In a BRILLIANT ending, Kendrick gets out of the Chaos Theory, but he hits a great tornado DDT, an X-Division style move, to get the pin. And once again we have psychology winning the day.
Eric says Sting is selfish.
Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Roxxi
Again they inform us that she’s TNA Knockout Roxxi, not to be confused with Roxxi the Doberman. Rayne gets on the mic and says she wants Roxxi’s career on the line. So be it. And now Roxxi is bleeding. TNA IS ADULT BABY! OH man she is fucking CUT. Shame as she’s kind of cute too. That has to be legit too. There’s no way a regular blade job is that bad. And with her head covered in blood, Madison works on her arm. Sure why not.
There’s an enziguri to the head, which would translate as head kick to the head. It’s been a long day and I know the endings already so don’t expect that many jokes here. Voodoo Drop gets only two. She hits it again but Madison falls to the floor. And then Madison hits Gail Kim’s finisher to get the win. There was no transition at all and it was just awkward as hell.
We recap Jesse Neal vs. Bubba, which is getting more build than the X Title and the Global Title which isn’t on the show. Let’s get this over with.
Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal
Before the match Ray gets the mic and wants D-Von to come out here. Here he comes and Shannon Moore sprints by him. Is there a reason they didn’t just do the damn tag match that you know is coming? Ray wants to apologize. The fans want tables. And sure let’s chant YOU’RE A DOUCHEBAG at Ray because any chant is COOL! Can we get Bubba to be the prick he’s going to wind up being already and stop filling in time like this?
They all shake hands and stuff and of course Bubba blasts him as everyone expected him to. I’m not going to say that was pointless, because it was far below that. Taz says he didn’t expect this, showing how absolutely stupid he is. With Neal getting dominated, he starts throwing headbutts into Ray’s stomach. Is he trying to cut him or something? Yeah the referee shirts are different now. I’m not surprised. Damn those chops sound great.
The freaky looking guy starts his comeback as apparently nothing he had done to him even hurt that I can tell. Bubba Bomb hits and is called that as this is just an ok match. And here’s the surprise: Tommy Dreamer. Yeah in 2010 there’s actual talk of an ECW stable. Bubba and Dreamer have a staredown as Tommy does his thing in the crowd and the spear ends it.
Christy is with Hernandez who is RIPPED. He says he’ll win.
Morgan vs. Hernandez is recapped. The Morgan gimmick is still weird but at least they managed to get the hint and put the match people might actually want to watch on PPV rather than an ice cold Band vs. Morgan and whoever else match.
Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
You know it really is impressive how much his muscles grew in the three days since Impact. I’m sure that has nothing to do with the taping schedule at all. Morgan is here in street clothes and a neck brace. He “can’t perform” due to a neck injury. He has a doctor’s note and I promise you that it’s nothing like the one Miz had two or three weeks ago. And here’s Supermex. Seriously was that supposed to work?
I mean really, was Hernandez supposed to just sit there and not come out? I fail to see the thought process here but whatever. It’s ALL Hernandez here as we’re approaching the evil world of glorified comedy match. We get an OLD Foley move as Morgan hits a discus lariat. You know, throwing people into the post with their shoulder hitting would look a lot better if the shoulder actually connected with the post. Just a thought.
Aww how cute we get a Cole reference as he says a brand new move is VINTAGE. Yeah that’s not funny at all. And there goes the referee for the DQ. Wow that was cheap. Post match Hernandez tries to do the same thing Morgan did to him but he kicked the referee instead. Earl Hebner, the referee’s dad, comes out and helps.
Hogan says he’s pissed at Sting. That’s going to happen at Bound For Glory isn’t it? He talks about a code among wrestlers and how Sting broke it. Again, less is more with Hogan and this worked more or less fine.
Desmond Wolfe vs. Abyss
I think you know what this is going to end with. Chelsea is with Wolfe again. Abyss is listed as in excess of 350lbs. Quit eating so much Chelsea Abyss. Uh…I mean….tuna. Yeah….Chelsea is slang for tuna now. This is a Monster’s Ball now by the way. Wolfe is in the jacket here too which is new for him so I’d bet on barbed wire very soon. And there it is less than a minute in.
It’s a big board of it and my intelligence is lowering as long as Abyss is on my screen. Abyss’ ass is bigger than the garbage can he’s being beaten with. Why do I have a bad feeling tuna is going to leave with Abyss? She got a teddy bear wrapped in barbed wire. Uh…sweet. That’s what I’m going with so I don’t have to think about it that much. Teddy bear to the stomach of Wolfe and now Chelsea gets the bear in a nicer manner.
And it’s thumbtack time. Make that broken glass. He actually does the Hogan finger point for this. Oh give me a damn break. We’re up by the announcers now with Wolfe in control for 8 seconds. He gets chokeslammed through part of the ramp which of course doesn’t end anything. You know what would make this more interesting? Wolfe actually having a prayer in this match.
He could slice Abyss’ head off to make a bowling ball, use his fingers as bowling pins and use his ass for a bowling bag and Abyss would still get a win over Wolfe. Abyss sets for a suplex off the top onto the barbed wire and he naturally winds up on it. This would be a lot more interesting if it was something new or actually good. Also, there’s no way Wolfe is going to win this at all. Abyss’ arms are bleeding which at least looks cool.
Abyss’ face goes into the glass. Wolfe shouts for tuna’s purse, which of course is empty. Chelsea has them and throws them to Abyss. That plus a Black Hole Slam ends it. Yeah that wasn’t expected AT ALL. Next match. Any other match. NOW.
RVD says nothing of note at all.
We talk about Flair’s obsession with Lethal and the whole AJ wants to impress Flair idea. Yeah anyone that knows my tastes knows how much I freaking hate this angle so let’s just get it over with.
AJ Styles vs. Jay Lethal
The annoying thing here is that the wrestling is likely to be fairly good but the angle will hurt it like no other. I’ve never gotten the huge appeal of Lethal, but then again that could be the gimmick which is very possible. We start with some nice technical stuff as you would likely guess was coming. Taz talks about swollen areolas. There’s a bad joke there. Flair’s sag so I guess it’s ok.
There isn’t much going on here as we’re in a long feeling out mode to start us off. No one is really getting a long advantage here which is a nice way to go. AJ is winning here but not dominating and Flair chokes Lethal with the coat. Lethal slaps the living hell out of him. That sounded GREAT. I love leg lariats. They’re just awesome looking. Lethal hits a running dropkick which when No Mercy was the hot video game at the time I didn’t think was possible.
Lethal Combination gets two. In a SWEET move, Lethal sets for a belly to back but throws him into the air and turns around for a reverse neckbreaker. It was more or less a one man version of the reverse 3D that the Dudleys use. And as I’m done typing that Styles has the figure four on. Uh, wasn’t he just getting his ass kicked before that?
Styles hits a brainbuster which is a new one for him I think. Lethal misses a top rope elbow as the selling is lacking a good bit here. AJ crotches himself and a Northern Lights suplex ends it. Apparently AJ’s legs didn’t work because of the figure four that Lethal used. Post match Kaz comes down and calms Flair down.
Sting says tonight he’ll do something in his war vs. Hogan and Bischoff and then the veil will be lifted. That means Sting loses since the explanation isn’t coming. He uses Joker quotes, which was the analogy I used on Thursday.
We recap Anderson and Hardy uniting, which more or less means the same thing from every Impact in the last three weeks. I get that they’re both popular, but damn we get it: they’ve got a monogamous bromance going on.
Anderson and Hardy name themselves the Enigmatic Assholes. They chose this over Creatures of the Asshole. Wow I hate this company.
Beer Money vs. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson
Yeah no way I’m calling them that. I have more dignity than that, and this is the guy that has a record for most trees up his ass. Storm has that stupid scooter thing back again. Is the money thing even an aspect of the team anymore? Well I think it’s safe to say the faces are over. Anderson and Roode start us off. And there are the ASSHOLE chants. I really can’t stand that thing.
Somehow that makes him over but you could get these people to chant anything. Hardy has the pink shirt on so you know shit is going to go down tonight. Anderson does nothing during a double team. Most interesting indeed. Not really but it’s hot and I’m tired and I want to end this show so there we are. I’m really liking those new referee shirts for some reason. Beer Money hits a nice double team move with Roode slingshotting Hardy into Storm for a DDT.
Hardy hits a Stunner which thankfully Taz realizes isn’t a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for two as the referee is pulled out. More asshole chants begin and I hate the Impact Zone more and more every day. There’s a nice dynamic going here with new superstars vs. established good team. That usually works and it is here as well. The fans want assholes. Do you see why I don’t even need to make fun of this?
Anderson gets the hot tag and destroys everyone associated with beer or money. I said beer and money rather than drugs and blown money so Hardy is safe. Anderson is bleeding but the Mic Check ends Roode for the pin. They do each other’s victory announcements post match.
Sting vs. RVD recap. Sting is #1 in a poll. That’s all there is to it. I know he stole the belt and wrote DECEPTION on it, but it’s not like that means anything or other so I’ll ignore the details on it.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam
We start with a stall from the t-shirt wearing challenger. And we’ll throw in some big match intros to really draw this one out. I’m still not sold here as it’s just another one on one match rather than feeling like something special. King of the Mountain didn’t happen either which is annoying as while it’s a mess, it’s TNA’s mess. It just feels like it should be here, but whatever.
We’re on the floor already as it becomes apparent that Sting doesn’t have much on offense outside of basic strikes and brawling. No change as we’ll still on the floor. Is this supposed to be interesting? Don’t get me wrong: I hated it during the Attitude Era too for the most part. Van Dam charges and is backdropped over the railing and we fight MORE in the crowd. I dozed off for a bit and woke up to see them right back where they were earlier. That’s not a good sign.
HOKEY SMOKE WE’RE IN THE RING! The splash hits. That’s the Stinger version, not the Five Star mind you. I won’t say the match sucks, but it’s just not that interesting. Van Dam is controlling here and of course as I say that there goes the control. And there goes the referee and here comes the bat.
See what I mean about this being nothing special? Jeff Jarrett, the man that SWORE he would be in Tennessee for this show is back. At least he’s someone that belongs at an anniversary show. He takes out Sting, of course setting them up for the next PPV. Stinger Splash misses, Five Star ends it.
Results
Kurt Angle b. Kazarian – Ankle Lock
Douglas Williams b. Brian Kendrick – Tornado DDT
Madison Rayne b. Roxxi – Knee to the back of the head
Jesse Neal b. Brother Ray – Spear
Matt Morgan b. Hernandez via DQ – Hernandez threw the referee down
Abyss b. Desmond Wolfe – Black Hole Slam
Jay Lethal b. AJ Styles – Northern Lights Suplex
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy b. Beer Money – Mic Check to Roode
Rob Van Dam b. Sting – Five Star Frog Splash
Quick Results
Raw
Big Show b. Chris Jericho in a Body Slam Challenge
Hart Dynasty b. Great Khali/Hornswoggle – Kidd pins Hornswoggle after a missed splash
Maryse won a Battle Royal
Kane b. Sheamus – Count Out
The Miz/Zach Ryder b. John Morrison/R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison
Randy Orton b. Edge via DQ – Edge untied his arm
Matt Hardy b. Drew McIntyre – Twist of Fate
John Cena vs. CM Punk went to a no contest – NXT Rookies interference
NXT
John Morrison/Eli Cottonwood b. Titus O’Neil/Zach Ryder – Starship Pain to O’Neil
MVP/Percy Watson b. Husky Harris/Cody Rhodes – Floatover DDT to Harris
Impact
Brian Kendrick b. Homicide – Boot to the face
The Band b. Matt Morgan/Hernandez – Young pinned Morgan after Hernandez turned on him
Kurt Angle b. Amazing Red – Angle Slam
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe/Beer Money b. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy/Abyss/Jay Lethal – Styles Clash to Lethal
Smackdown
Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger – Springboard Legdrop
Layla b. Tiffany – Reverse Neckbreaker
Christian b. Dolph Ziggler – Sunset Flip off the Middle Rope
Big Show b. CM Punk via DQ – SES interference
Slammiversary
Kurt Angle b. Kazarian – Ankle Lock
Douglas Williams b. Brian Kendrick – Tornado DDT
Madison Rayne b. Roxxi – Knee to the back of the head
Jesse Neal b. Brother Ray – Spear
Matt Morgan b. Hernandez via DQ – Hernandez threw the referee down
Abyss b. Desmond Wolfe – Black Hole Slam
Jay Lethal b. AJ Styles – Northern Lights Suplex
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy b. Beer Money – Mic Check to Roode
Rob Van Dam b. Sting – Five Star Frog Splash
Jake Roberts’ dad passed away.
Sunday
Nothing new on Danielson, but it looks like he’s really gone. I’m not sold still.
Slammiversary
Date: June 13, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
This is the anniversary show which is called Slammiversary VIII, even though it’s the 5th of this show I think. There’s no KOTM this year which kind of sucks, but it’s the new era I suppose. I haven’t been thrilled with this card, but then again I’m not TNA’s target audience I guess. RVD vs. Sting isn’t my favorite program but it’ll do fine for a less huge PPV, which this isn’t. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about the history, as you would expect. They do a good bit about Angle vs. Joe which indeed was a big moment, but damn that could have been epic if they built it up long enough. Ok, Van Dam winning the belt was cool, but not a huge moment in company history.
Kazarian vs. Kurt Angle
Well this should be decent. Short I’d bet but decent. Also Angle is opening a show. Well he said he wanted to start at the bottom and work his way back up. I love that beard on Angle. The fans are way behind Angle so that’s at least making sense. Angle is billed as a 13 time world champion. Yeah sure. New rankings come out on Thursday so we’ll know who gets nothing for the next month.
And let’s talk about Flair. We actually got 9 minutes before we mentioned him. That has to be a new record for not mentioning him and Hogan. The fans chant for the USA, which Kaz is from. They must hate Angle all of a sudden. The referee wants to DQ Kaz but Angle tells him not to. I like the whole high flying vs. mat work stuff. They’re two of the basic three styles and matches where they’re against each other work best.
Angle hits a German to get himself out of trouble and we’re back to even. Angle Slam of course doesn’t work. Were you expecting something else? Naturally we talk about Angle’s neck which apparently can’t heal according to announcers. Both kick out of finishers but the ankle lock ends it which isn’t all that surprising.
We recap the feud between Kendrick and Williams, which isn’t a feud nor do we recap it. More or less they just say they’re having a match.
X-Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Brian Kendrick
Yeah…this isn’t a feud. Somehow Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal has more build than this. We’re told about how it’s about no limits, even though neither member of Team No Limit ever won the belt and how one guy over the traditional cruiserweight weight limit has ever won the title. Williams working the traditional style is very interesting as he’s skilled enough at it to make it annoying. The fans get on him as he’s dominating with incredibly basic stuff.
Since it’s been all Williams, I’m thinking Kendrick wins it. Kendrick tries to get things going and it only works to an extent. The referee’s shirt is extra blue here and I kind of like it. In a BRILLIANT ending, Kendrick gets out of the Chaos Theory, but he hits a great tornado DDT, an X-Division style move, to get the pin. And once again we have psychology winning the day.
Eric says Sting is selfish.
Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Roxxi
Again they inform us that she’s TNA Knockout Roxxi, not to be confused with Roxxi the Doberman. Rayne gets on the mic and says she wants Roxxi’s career on the line. So be it. And now Roxxi is bleeding. TNA IS ADULT BABY! OH man she is fucking CUT. Shame as she’s kind of cute too. That has to be legit too. There’s no way a regular blade job is that bad. And with her head covered in blood, Madison works on her arm. Sure why not.
There’s an enziguri to the head, which would translate as head kick to the head. It’s been a long day and I know the endings already so don’t expect that many jokes here. Voodoo Drop gets only two. She hits it again but Madison falls to the floor. And then Madison hits Gail Kim’s finisher to get the win. There was no transition at all and it was just awkward as hell.
We recap Jesse Neal vs. Bubba, which is getting more build than the X Title and the Global Title which isn’t on the show. Let’s get this over with.
Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal
Before the match Ray gets the mic and wants D-Von to come out here. Here he comes and Shannon Moore sprints by him. Is there a reason they didn’t just do the damn tag match that you know is coming? Ray wants to apologize. The fans want tables. And sure let’s chant YOU’RE A DOUCHEBAG at Ray because any chant is COOL! Can we get Bubba to be the prick he’s going to wind up being already and stop filling in time like this?
They all shake hands and stuff and of course Bubba blasts him as everyone expected him to. I’m not going to say that was pointless, because it was far below that. Taz says he didn’t expect this, showing how absolutely stupid he is. With Neal getting dominated, he starts throwing headbutts into Ray’s stomach. Is he trying to cut him or something? Yeah the referee shirts are different now. I’m not surprised. Damn those chops sound great.
The freaky looking guy starts his comeback as apparently nothing he had done to him even hurt that I can tell. Bubba Bomb hits and is called that as this is just an ok match. And here’s the surprise: Tommy Dreamer. Yeah in 2010 there’s actual talk of an ECW stable. Bubba and Dreamer have a staredown as Tommy does his thing in the crowd and the spear ends it.
Christy is with Hernandez who is RIPPED. He says he’ll win.
Morgan vs. Hernandez is recapped. The Morgan gimmick is still weird but at least they managed to get the hint and put the match people might actually want to watch on PPV rather than an ice cold Band vs. Morgan and whoever else match.
Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
You know it really is impressive how much his muscles grew in the three days since Impact. I’m sure that has nothing to do with the taping schedule at all. Morgan is here in street clothes and a neck brace. He “can’t perform” due to a neck injury. He has a doctor’s note and I promise you that it’s nothing like the one Miz had two or three weeks ago. And here’s Supermex. Seriously was that supposed to work?
I mean really, was Hernandez supposed to just sit there and not come out? I fail to see the thought process here but whatever. It’s ALL Hernandez here as we’re approaching the evil world of glorified comedy match. We get an OLD Foley move as Morgan hits a discus lariat. You know, throwing people into the post with their shoulder hitting would look a lot better if the shoulder actually connected with the post. Just a thought.
Aww how cute we get a Cole reference as he says a brand new move is VINTAGE. Yeah that’s not funny at all. And there goes the referee for the DQ. Wow that was cheap. Post match Hernandez tries to do the same thing Morgan did to him but he kicked the referee instead. Earl Hebner, the referee’s dad, comes out and helps.
Hogan says he’s pissed at Sting. That’s going to happen at Bound For Glory isn’t it? He talks about a code among wrestlers and how Sting broke it. Again, less is more with Hogan and this worked more or less fine.
Desmond Wolfe vs. Abyss
I think you know what this is going to end with. Chelsea is with Wolfe again. Abyss is listed as in excess of 350lbs. Quit eating so much Chelsea Abyss. Uh…I mean….tuna. Yeah….Chelsea is slang for tuna now. This is a Monster’s Ball now by the way. Wolfe is in the jacket here too which is new for him so I’d bet on barbed wire very soon. And there it is less than a minute in.
It’s a big board of it and my intelligence is lowering as long as Abyss is on my screen. Abyss’ ass is bigger than the garbage can he’s being beaten with. Why do I have a bad feeling tuna is going to leave with Abyss? She got a teddy bear wrapped in barbed wire. Uh…sweet. That’s what I’m going with so I don’t have to think about it that much. Teddy bear to the stomach of Wolfe and now Chelsea gets the bear in a nicer manner.
And it’s thumbtack time. Make that broken glass. He actually does the Hogan finger point for this. Oh give me a damn break. We’re up by the announcers now with Wolfe in control for 8 seconds. He gets chokeslammed through part of the ramp which of course doesn’t end anything. You know what would make this more interesting? Wolfe actually having a prayer in this match.
He could slice Abyss’ head off to make a bowling ball, use his fingers as bowling pins and use his ass for a bowling bag and Abyss would still get a win over Wolfe. Abyss sets for a suplex off the top onto the barbed wire and he naturally winds up on it. This would be a lot more interesting if it was something new or actually good. Also, there’s no way Wolfe is going to win this at all. Abyss’ arms are bleeding which at least looks cool.
Abyss’ face goes into the glass. Wolfe shouts for tuna’s purse, which of course is empty. Chelsea has them and throws them to Abyss. That plus a Black Hole Slam ends it. Yeah that wasn’t expected AT ALL. Next match. Any other match. NOW.
RVD says nothing of note at all.
We talk about Flair’s obsession with Lethal and the whole AJ wants to impress Flair idea. Yeah anyone that knows my tastes knows how much I freaking hate this angle so let’s just get it over with.
AJ Styles vs. Jay Lethal
The annoying thing here is that the wrestling is likely to be fairly good but the angle will hurt it like no other. I’ve never gotten the huge appeal of Lethal, but then again that could be the gimmick which is very possible. We start with some nice technical stuff as you would likely guess was coming. Taz talks about swollen areolas. There’s a bad joke there. Flair’s sag so I guess it’s ok.
There isn’t much going on here as we’re in a long feeling out mode to start us off. No one is really getting a long advantage here which is a nice way to go. AJ is winning here but not dominating and Flair chokes Lethal with the coat. Lethal slaps the living hell out of him. That sounded GREAT. I love leg lariats. They’re just awesome looking. Lethal hits a running dropkick which when No Mercy was the hot video game at the time I didn’t think was possible.
Lethal Combination gets two. In a SWEET move, Lethal sets for a belly to back but throws him into the air and turns around for a reverse neckbreaker. It was more or less a one man version of the reverse 3D that the Dudleys use. And as I’m done typing that Styles has the figure four on. Uh, wasn’t he just getting his ass kicked before that?
Styles hits a brainbuster which is a new one for him I think. Lethal misses a top rope elbow as the selling is lacking a good bit here. AJ crotches himself and a Northern Lights suplex ends it. Apparently AJ’s legs didn’t work because of the figure four that Lethal used. Post match Kaz comes down and calms Flair down.
Sting says tonight he’ll do something in his war vs. Hogan and Bischoff and then the veil will be lifted. That means Sting loses since the explanation isn’t coming. He uses Joker quotes, which was the analogy I used on Thursday.
We recap Anderson and Hardy uniting, which more or less means the same thing from every Impact in the last three weeks. I get that they’re both popular, but damn we get it: they’ve got a monogamous bromance going on.
Anderson and Hardy name themselves the Enigmatic Assholes. They chose this over Creatures of the Asshole. Wow I hate this company.
Beer Money vs. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson
Yeah no way I’m calling them that. I have more dignity than that, and this is the guy that has a record for most trees up his ass. Storm has that stupid scooter thing back again. Is the money thing even an aspect of the team anymore? Well I think it’s safe to say the faces are over. Anderson and Roode start us off. And there are the ASSHOLE chants. I really can’t stand that thing.
Somehow that makes him over but you could get these people to chant anything. Hardy has the pink shirt on so you know shit is going to go down tonight. Anderson does nothing during a double team. Most interesting indeed. Not really but it’s hot and I’m tired and I want to end this show so there we are. I’m really liking those new referee shirts for some reason. Beer Money hits a nice double team move with Roode slingshotting Hardy into Storm for a DDT.
Hardy hits a Stunner which thankfully Taz realizes isn’t a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for two as the referee is pulled out. More asshole chants begin and I hate the Impact Zone more and more every day. There’s a nice dynamic going here with new superstars vs. established good team. That usually works and it is here as well. The fans want assholes. Do you see why I don’t even need to make fun of this?
Anderson gets the hot tag and destroys everyone associated with beer or money. I said beer and money rather than drugs and blown money so Hardy is safe. Anderson is bleeding but the Mic Check ends Roode for the pin. They do each other’s victory announcements post match.
Sting vs. RVD recap. Sting is #1 in a poll. That’s all there is to it. I know he stole the belt and wrote DECEPTION on it, but it’s not like that means anything or other so I’ll ignore the details on it.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam
We start with a stall from the t-shirt wearing challenger. And we’ll throw in some big match intros to really draw this one out. I’m still not sold here as it’s just another one on one match rather than feeling like something special. King of the Mountain didn’t happen either which is annoying as while it’s a mess, it’s TNA’s mess. It just feels like it should be here, but whatever.
We’re on the floor already as it becomes apparent that Sting doesn’t have much on offense outside of basic strikes and brawling. No change as we’ll still on the floor. Is this supposed to be interesting? Don’t get me wrong: I hated it during the Attitude Era too for the most part. Van Dam charges and is backdropped over the railing and we fight MORE in the crowd. I dozed off for a bit and woke up to see them right back where they were earlier. That’s not a good sign.
HOKEY SMOKE WE’RE IN THE RING! The splash hits. That’s the Stinger version, not the Five Star mind you. I won’t say the match sucks, but it’s just not that interesting. Van Dam is controlling here and of course as I say that there goes the control. And there goes the referee and here comes the bat.
See what I mean about this being nothing special? Jeff Jarrett, the man that SWORE he would be in Tennessee for this show is back. At least he’s someone that belongs at an anniversary show. He takes out Sting, of course setting them up for the next PPV. Stinger Splash misses, Five Star ends it.
Results
Kurt Angle b. Kazarian – Ankle Lock
Douglas Williams b. Brian Kendrick – Tornado DDT
Madison Rayne b. Roxxi – Knee to the back of the head
Jesse Neal b. Brother Ray – Spear
Matt Morgan b. Hernandez via DQ – Hernandez threw the referee down
Abyss b. Desmond Wolfe – Black Hole Slam
Jay Lethal b. AJ Styles – Northern Lights Suplex
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy b. Beer Money – Mic Check to Roode
Rob Van Dam b. Sting – Five Star Frog Splash
Quick Results
Raw
Big Show b. Chris Jericho in a Body Slam Challenge
Hart Dynasty b. Great Khali/Hornswoggle – Kidd pins Hornswoggle after a missed splash
Maryse won a Battle Royal
Kane b. Sheamus – Count Out
The Miz/Zach Ryder b. John Morrison/R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison
Randy Orton b. Edge via DQ – Edge untied his arm
Matt Hardy b. Drew McIntyre – Twist of Fate
John Cena vs. CM Punk went to a no contest – NXT Rookies interference
NXT
John Morrison/Eli Cottonwood b. Titus O’Neil/Zach Ryder – Starship Pain to O’Neil
MVP/Percy Watson b. Husky Harris/Cody Rhodes – Floatover DDT to Harris
Impact
Brian Kendrick b. Homicide – Boot to the face
The Band b. Matt Morgan/Hernandez – Young pinned Morgan after Hernandez turned on him
Kurt Angle b. Amazing Red – Angle Slam
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe/Beer Money b. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy/Abyss/Jay Lethal – Styles Clash to Lethal
Smackdown
Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger – Springboard Legdrop
Layla b. Tiffany – Reverse Neckbreaker
Christian b. Dolph Ziggler – Sunset Flip off the Middle Rope
Big Show b. CM Punk via DQ – SES interference
Slammiversary
Kurt Angle b. Kazarian – Ankle Lock
Douglas Williams b. Brian Kendrick – Tornado DDT
Madison Rayne b. Roxxi – Knee to the back of the head
Jesse Neal b. Brother Ray – Spear
Matt Morgan b. Hernandez via DQ – Hernandez threw the referee down
Abyss b. Desmond Wolfe – Black Hole Slam
Jay Lethal b. AJ Styles – Northern Lights Suplex
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy b. Beer Money – Mic Check to Roode
Rob Van Dam b. Sting – Five Star Frog Splash