klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 2.2, up from last week's 1.8.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2013
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's the 20th Anniversary celebration of Raw tonight and the main match announced so far is Eve likely dropping the Divas Title to Kaitlyn. Other than that we've likely got Rocky here tonight to hype up the Rumble some more, which is at least some good old fashioned PPV selling. We're in the good season for WWE so hopefully things are on tonight. Let's get to it.
A mash up of all the Raw openings (complete with original images) open things up. Cool stuff.
Here's Vince in the ring to open things up. He talks about how Raw has been entertaining in 20 years and in that time, over 4 billion people have enjoyed Raw. Vince says that's the case because he's a certifiable genius and he thanks the fans. Apparently tonight it's Ziggler vs. Cena in a cage and the Rock Concert 3. Vince thanks the fans again and is cut off by....Big Show?
Big Show says the show has to wait but gets in trouble for calling Vince by his first name. Vince congratulates Show for losing weight, but says that it's just him losing the title. Vince wants to see the footage but Show wants to talk about it instead. The boss says the fans here in Houston (Cole: “Cheap pop.” Jerry: “Yep.”
want to see the footage so we get a clip of the ending with Del Rio winning the title.
Show accuses Booker T of trying to play to the Hispanic audience by helping Del Rio win the title. He mentions his iron clad contract and says it makes him better than everyone. Show wants Alberto stripped of the title which draws out the champion to what appears to be a legit pop. Ricardo has some towels with him for some reason and his cuffs aren't buttoned. No car this week though and Del Rio has some green on his trunks and pads now. Ricardo's towels are covering something that he's carrying to the ring with him.
Del Rio talks about how Show didn't like how the tables were turned on him and someone was fighting back against his bullying. Alberto says if Show has a problem, do something about it. He offers Show a rematch tonight but Show says no. He isn't prepared tonight but Del Rio says that being a giant should make him prepared. Del Rio wants Show to show some cajones but Show says no again. Instead, Show wants it at the Rumble.
Del Rio calls him a fat jackass in Spanish but Show doesn't like being insulted. Alberto gets the present, which is a bucket with a Mexican flag painted on it. There's something we can't see in it, so Show threatens to break Ricardo's spine if he throws water on him. It's red white and green confetti in the vein of the Harlem globetrotters. Show goes after Ricardo but Alberto takes him down with a rana (impressive) and the corner enziguri to send Show running. I can't believe I'm saying this but Alberto is AWESOME right now.
We get a clip from Bob Barker on Raw.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Non-title because why would Orton care about a title? Feeling out process to start with Orton hitting a Thesz Press to send Wade to the floor. Orton belly to backs him onto the barricade which gets two back inside. There's the Orton Circle Stomp and a clothesline sends Barrett to the floor as we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a chinlock until Orton elbows out of it.
Wade comes back with some hard forearms and the boot in the ropes for two. Back to the chinlock but Orton elbows out of it again. Orton fires off his finishing sequence (clotheslines, powerslam, backbreaker, Elevated DDT) but the RKO is countered with Randy's shoulder going into the post. Wade loads up the Bull Hammer....and gets the 100% clean pin at 10:31. I didn't see that coming at all.
Eve is told that if she tries to get counted out or disqualified she's stripped of the title. She tries to seduce Booker to get out of it and he cracks up. Eve slaps Teddy as a result.
It's time for Bryan and Kane's four month followup on anger management. They agree to lie to Shelby and say whatever he wants to hear. Shelby starts with a group hug and asks what they like about each other. Bryan likes that Kane is tall, can light things on fire by lowering his arms, and Kane's dancing abilities. Kane likes that Bryan is agile, has a great beard, and isn't afraid to admit that sometimes he wears women's clothing. Shelby says everything is ok and they can go, but there's one more thing.
He calls someone and says send them in and here are the Rhodes Scholars. They're going to cause an anger trigger (with Sandow correcting the doctor of course) and HELL NO needs to not freak out. Cody winds up ripping on Shelby and ask what his credentials are. Damien says Shelby is a worse doctor than Dr. Phil. Shelby: “GET EM!!!” HELL NO beats up the Scholars and Kane gets in his usual great line of “Now THAT'S what I call a happy place!”
Kane vs. Damien Sandow
Kane pulls him in to start and fires off the uppercuts. Side slam gets two but Kane goes up for the clothesline and Sandow bails to the floor. Damien sends him into the apron to take over and hits the Wind-Up Elbow for two but jumps into the chokeslam for the pin at 1:58. Ok then.
Here's Mick Foley as the first inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2013. This was announced on WWE.com over the weekend so this isn't a huge shock. After the cheap pop here's the Shield to interrupt. Foley wisely bails and here's Ryback for the weekly 3-1 fight with the Shield. Orton and Sheamus run in as well and Ambrose gets a Shell Shock.
Without going to a break or anything else happening, here's a REPLAY OF WHAT WE JUST WATCHED. Josh goes into the ring to talk to Ryback, who says that Shield has kept the title on Punk three times now. Ryback doesn't care about conspiracy theories because he can't rest until he needs to give the Shield back what they took from him. FEED HIM SHIELD.
We get a clip of some of the weird gimmicks we've seen over the years. I had hoped to forget some of these.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn
If Eve gets disqualified or counted out she loses the title. Kaitlyn sends her to the floor to start so the champ hides a bit. Kaitlyn is the hometown girl tonight so it's pretty clear what's going down here. Eve knocks her down and hits her running flip splash as we hear about Lamb Chop for no apparent reason. Off to a triangle choke from Eve but Kaitlyn makes a rope.
The reverse DDT gets two and Kaitlyn seemingly dives onto Eve's knee. The spinning neckbreaker gets two for Kaitlyn so Eve pounds away a bit. Kaitlyn's gutbuster hits but it sends Eve to the floor. The challenger follows her out and gets whipped into the barricade. Eve puts her over the barricade but Kaitlyn sneaks back in and spears Eve for the title at 5:35.
Brodus says Punk's comments last week shouldn't have been said and he'll shut Punk up next.
Donald Trump bought Raw once.
Brodus Clay vs. CM Punk
Brodus sends Punk to the floor and pounds on him in the corner like a Funkasaurus would do but Punk gets his knees up in the corner. There's the springboard clothesline and a neckbreaker to put Brodus down. Off to a cravate by Punk but Brodus suplexes Punk down. Some clotheslines put Punk down and there's the running headbutt to the chest. Clay misses a splash in the corner though and Punk kicks him down. The top rope elbow sets up the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 3:40.
Punk talks about how Rock is going to be out here later and the people have the right to like either Rock or Punk better. However, they don't have the right to have their own facts. Punk has the most important title in the world and has had it for over 400 days. Fact. Later tonight, Rock is going to come out here and “entertain” the people, but at the Rumble, Punk is going to beat him. Basic promo here.
We get a package on moments involving vehicles on Raw.
Foley is on the phone with his kids and says that he wasn't scared out there. Rock shows up so Mick hangs up on his kids. Foley extends his hand but Rock says he doesn't want a handshake. Rock hugs Foley instead. That's more like it. Mick steals the FINALLY line a few times and tries to get Rock to bite on it which he finally does.
Vickie interrupts and says they're loud. She yells at both of them and Rock says he has nothing to say to her. Foley: “Holy pec pop of love Rock I thought you were going to lay the verbal Smackdown on her.” Rock: “Trust me.” Foley: “You Rock Bottomed me last year.” Rock: “No one remembers that!” Rock says to pay attention to the Rock Concert later.
Sheamus vs. 3MB
This is an over the top rope challenge. JBL: “This isn't fair.” Cole: “To Sheamus?” JBL: “No.” The band beats on Sheamus to start but he fights them off with ease. Sheamus hits a Regal Roll on McIntyre onto Mahal but can't get Drew out. All three put him on the ropes but he easily fights them off. Mahal goes up like an idiot and gets knocked out. McIntyre gets backdropped out but Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick to send himself to the apron. He pulls Slater onto the top rope but the other members pull Sheamus to the floor, giving 3MB the win at 3:10. No rating for this due to obvious reasons.
Slater gets on Drew's shoulders but Sheamus gets back in. He kicks Drew's leg out and kicks Slater's head off. Mahal gets one for good measure. Sore loser!
Cena says we should be talking about a huge list of people (including the Bashams and Braden Walker) instead of Big E. Langston. He gives a VERY fast history of his character and says tonight he's beating Ziggler.
Here's Miz who promises a HOF member on MizTV. He gives us a hint: WOO!
Back from a break and the guest is Flair. Wow that's not really surprising at all. Miz asks Flair what his favorite moment on Raw is and that would be his retirement ceremony. Flair doesn't want to talk about the past though, because he'd rather talk about Ryback taking down the Shield. Flair is wearing the Rolex Shawn gave him and they have a “really” off. Flair dances a bit and Miz says that was kind of awesome. More WOOing ensues and we get a video package on people with interesting ways of speaking, which is basically just a bunch of catchphrases, many of which are from the last three years or so.
After the video, Miz says that there's one missing. Miz tries to give Flair hints about who it is and Flair can't say it because this show is PG. “I got four ex-wives son I need a job right now.” Flair goes into his limousine riding bit until Cesaro comes out with an American flag. Cesaro says these two embody America like no one else: a failed reality TV star more focused on fame than greatness and a sixteen time world champion who made ten million dollars but spent twenty. Flair: “Thirty million brother.”
Cesaro holds up the Horsemen sign but says that's only for Flair's four ex-wives. Miz says he'll pay Flair's bar tab tonight and give Cesaro the receipt right now. Cesaro says he'll walk away but Flair starts chopping him. Miz hits the Finale to leave the champion laying. Flair loads up the Figure Four but lets Miz do it instead.
Mike Tyson was on Raw in 1998. That was huge to put it mildly.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan
Cody pounds away a bit, JBL asks about caterpillars, Cole tells us facts that no one cares about, the NO Lock ends this in 75 seconds.
Eve quits WWE. That's legit apparently.
AJ shows us some wedding videos, culminating in AJ saying yes to Vince's GM offer to her. AJ says she lost everything because of Cena. Ziggler comes in to promise to take everything from Cena. He says he'll steal the show tonight but I'm not buying this for the most part.
Here's JR to a nice ovation to call the cage match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena
This is No DQ because that has to be mentioned in cage matches now apparently. There are the usual three ways to win this too. Ziggler tries to escape quickly but gets pulled down and hit with a release fisherman's suplex for one. Off to a chinlock by Cena but Ziggler comes back with a dropkick to take over. A corner splash and a pair of neckbreakers result in no cover for Dolph. Ziggler tries a third neckbreaker but has to escape the AA instead.
A Downward Spiral into a Stunner gets two for Ziggler but Cena grabs a slingshot to send Dolph into the cage. Ziggler tries to climb but Cena rams him into the cage to take over as we go to a break. Back with both guys on top of the cage but Cena falling down to the ropes. Ziggler dropkicks Cena back into the ring for two to take over. Apparently during the break Cena was out but Langston blocked his feet from hitting the ground in an impressive power display.
Cena comes back and fires away on Ziggler before trying the AA. Ziggler grabs the cage and nearly loses his trunks but escapes anyway. A fast superkick puts Cena down for two but Ziggler can't get out of the door. Langston and Cena get in a tug of war with Ziggler but Cena pulls him back inside for the STF. Ziggler counters the hold into the sleeper in an impressive move. Cena manages to climb to the top rope while still in the hold and falls down onto his back, breaking the hold in the process.
John goes for the door but Langston slams the door on his head, giving Ziggler a two count. Ziggler goes for the door but Cena climbs over the top. Cena slams the door on Dolph's head but Big E. is waiting on Cena with a chair. John gets back in and gets caught in a Zig Zag for two. Ziggler goes to the top of the cage but Cena easily pulls him down.
Ziggler runs the ropes to hit a running DDT off the second rope for two more. These near falls are awesome. AJ freaks out and breaks the announce table before climbing the cage. The distraction lets Langston come in with the briefcase but Dolph clocks him with it by mistake. A very fast AA gives Cena the pin at 16:35.
Here's Rock to close the show. He shows us a picture of himself on his first appearance on the show. “What was I thinking??? The Rock looks like an escaped mental patient about to audition for the Backstreet Boys.” The first song is set to the tune of Heartbreak Hotel and makes fun of Paul Heyman for being fat. A member of ZZ Top is in the audience tonight. Rock calls out to the ladies and says his favorite curve on a woman is her smile. He invites Vickie out and here she is, very timid to say the least.
Rock's next song is a rendition of You Look Wonderful Tonight, but with the word horrible swapped for wonderful. “You look like a hooker, but not the expensive kind.” After Vickie leaves, Rock gets down to business by calling out Punk. With Heyman and Punk on the stage, Rock says it's a fact that Punk has been unstoppable for 421 days. Last week Punk said Rock would be boxing with God at the Rumble. Rock says Punk isn't God, but as God as his witness, he's taking the title at the Rumble. Punk charges the ring and the fight is on! They're pulled apart to end the show.
Results
Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Bull Hammer
Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Spear
CM Punk b. Brodus Clay – Anaconda Vice
3MB b. Sheamus – Slater eliminated Sheamus
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – NO Lock
John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.2.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 16, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
We're officially in the Langston Era here and if my memory is right, this was filmed recently which means we're actually going to be closer to being caught up with the current WWE product. It's hard to say what to expect here but the word seems to be that something big is going to be announced soon. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's main event and the title change.
Welcome Home.
Adrian Neville vs. Sakamoto
Neville is formerly known as Pac. Interestingly enough a guy on the forums that I run used to backyard wrestle with him. Sakamoto is in way better shape than you would expect him to be given the robe he always wore. Neville is apparently an amazing high flier and he spins out of a wristlock and grabs a headlock to start. A headscissors puts Sakamoto down and Adrian flips back to his feet. The fans dig him so far.
Sakamoto gets a boot up in the corner and hooks a chinlock to take over for a little bit. Make that a decent bit as the chinlock continues. Adrian suplexes out of the hold and flips forward a few more times before hitting an enziguri to stagger Sakamoto. Neville goes up and hits a HUGE corkscrew shooting star for the pin at 3:25.
Leo Kruger vs. Trent Barreta
Ohno sits in on commentary. This is as a result of Trent getting beaten up and injured by Kruger a month ago. Trent takes over with a fast clothesline and a knee drop for two. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two for Barreta and it's off to a headlock. That goes nowhere as Kruger fights up and hits a hard knee to the ribs to take over. Trent gets draped ribs first over the top rope for two as we take a break.
Back with Kruger working over the ribs with a knee drop and a half crab. A gutbuster gets two for Leo as Kassius and Regal continue to argue. Regal threatens Ohno so Kassius acts as if nothing has ever been wrong between them. Kruger misses a charge in the corner so Trent comes back with chops and a clothesline. The running jumping elbow in the corner puts Leo down again and a missile dropkick gets two for Trent.
The tornado DDT is countered into another half crab with a knee in the back but Trent finally makes a rope. An enziguri sends Kruger down to the floor, followed by a BIG flip dive from Trent to take him down again. Kassius runs down and decks Trent though, allowing for Kruger to hit the Kruger End back inside for the pin at 7:53 shown of 11:23.
A second referee informs the first one of Ohno's interference and the decision is reversed.
Here's the NEW NXT Champion Big E. Langston with something to say. He welcomes us to the Era of Five but here's Camacho to interrupt him. Hasn't Langston already beaten this guy? A referee comes out and we get a match which I think is non-title.
Camacho vs. Big E. Langston
Camacho pounds away in the corner to start but Langston no sells it and clotheslines Camacho down. The Big Ending finishes Camacho in 1:15.
Langston does his usual stuff post match. This takes longer than the match itself.
Damien Sandow/Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd
Before the match, Sandow says that the people here will learn to appreciate him. Sandow and Kidd start things off but it's quickly off to Justin. Damien gets his arm cranked on a bit so it's off to Cesaro. Gabriel dropkicks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Justin getting two off a sunset flip on Sandow. He cranks on Damien's arm and messes with his hair to really get on Sandow's nerves.
Off to Cesaro for a hard headlock for a few seconds before Gabriel fights back with chops and right hands. Cesaro elbows him down before it's back to Sandow for some knee drops. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and it's back to Antonio. Off to a front facelock before Justin fights up and backdrops Cesaro to the floor. That's about the extent of his offense though as Cesaro comes back in with the gutwrench suplex for two.
Back to the chinlock but Gabriel escapes for the third time, with this one being followed by a hot tag to Tyson. Everything breaks down as Sandow comes in again with Damien getting two off a rollup. Back to Gabriel as Kidd dives onto Cesaro. A Lionsault and the springboard elbow to Sandow get the clean pin at 8:00 shown of 11:30.
Results
Adrian Neville b. Sakamoto – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press
Trent Barreta b. Leo Kruger via disqualification when Kassius Ohno interfered
Big E. Langston b. Camacho – Big Ending
Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro/Damien Sandow – Springboard Elbow Drop to Sandow
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay
Tonight is about the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. For those of you that haven't followed Impact Wrestling for awhile, you did indeed read that properly. Also we get to deal with the fallout from Genesis as we now have about two months before the next three hour PPV in Lockdown. Odds are we're not going to really start building up to that for awhile yet. Let's get to it.
The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.
Ray is getting his tuxedo ready and seems happy. Spike Dudley comes in (complete with taped glasses) and is followed by Tommy Dreamer. Apparently they're his groomsmen.
Some Knockouts are Brooke's bridesmaids. It's not clear if Hulk is going to be there or not.
Here's Hardy to open the show. He talks about retaining at Genesis and surviving against all odds. Hardy says he does what he does for the people and he'll keep fighting for them forever. 2013 is going to be the year of Jeff Hardy so bring on the fights. This brings out Daniels and Kaz to talk about Daniels' title shot next week which he won by beating Storm on Sunday. Daniels does his usual name jokes but Hardy wants to fight right now. Hardy gets beaten down until Storm runs in for the save. If you can't figure out what this sets up, go read something else.
James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence
Actually it starts right now. It's a brawl to start with Jeff diving on both opponents as we take a break. Back with Storm vs. Daniels before it's quickly off to the champion. Storm comes back in after about half a second to start working on the arm. Daniels rams him into the corner so Kaz can choke away like a good heel would. Bad Influence (I'm really not feeling that name and it's barely ever used) takes their turns on Storm as we're waiting on the big hot tag to Jeff.
Storm finally hits a Russian legsweep and makes the aforementioned hot tag, hitting a running clothesline off the apron to take Daniels down. Everything breaks down and Storm hits Closing time on Daniels. He dives over the top at Chris and hurts his own knee in the process. Kaz escapes the Twist and rakes Hardy's eyes to set up a small package for two. Hardy grabs a VERY sloppy Twist for the pin at 12:00.
Daniels blasts Hardy in the back and hits Angel's Wings on the belt.
The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.
Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.
Time for Gut Check. Apparently only one guy gets to go to the judges and that's Jay Bradley (meaning Brian Cage goes home). Tazz says no, so Jay gives a decent speech saying he's earned this shot. Snow says yes, Bruce says yes, he gets a contract. Why this is supposed to be interesting I'm not sure.
Christian York vs. Kenny King
This is fallout from King's attack on York that likely cost him the title on Sunday. York dives onto King to start and beats on him on the floor before heading back inside for a clothesline. Christian pounds away in the corner and hits a bunch of kicks to King's face. This is one sided so far. King fires off a kick but York immediately comes back with a suplex. He loads King into the Rack to do what King did to him on Sunday, but Kenny rakes the eyes and rolls York up with a handful of trunks to win at 2:52. King's offense consisted of an eye rake, a kick and a rollup.
Ray asks Sting to talk to Hulk for him. Sting says he'll try.
Aries antagonizes Roode for not winning the title before saying the arguing makes no sense. The slanting isn't in their favor and Aries is tired of it. Apparently they're crashing the wedding.
Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.
Hulk is in the parking lot and the cameraman asks him if he's here for the wedding tonight. Hulk says nothing other than saying get the camera out of his face.
Taz comes in to Bully's room and they make fun of Heyman a bit. Dreamer asks about Hogan but Ray says he's marrying Brooke as long as his guys are here with him.
We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.
Here's Sting to ask Hogan to come out and talk about the wedding. Hogan says he doesn't trust Bully because in wrestling, everyone stabs everyone in the back. He wants an explanation from Sting on why he trusts Bully. Sting talks about all of the times that Ray has saved them but Hogan says he has a bad feeling about this and he'll never trust Bully Ray. Sting says Hulk needs to do this for himself and Brooke. Hulk says he'll do the right thing. Brother.
Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.
We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.
Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky
Winner gets a title shot at some point. I'm digging Velvet's new curly hair. Velvet sends her to the floor to start as we're not exactly in a fast gear early on. A sunset flip gets two for Velvet so Gail kicks her in the ribs to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Kim and Velvet gets the same off a snap suplex. Sky can't hit a bulldog so Gail dropkicks her down. Eat Defeat hits but Velvet gets a foot under the rope at two. Now the bulldog hits as does a headscissors. A kind of spinning X-Factor takes down Gail and In Yo Face gets the pin at 5:54.
Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.
It's 9:30 and with nothing else to go, it's time for the wedding???
We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.
Here are Aries and Roode to complain about life in general. They say there should be a celebration about the two of them because without the two of them, there wouldn't be a show. They complain about not having respect despite being champion for almost all of last year. Aries points out how all of the champions in TNA used to be big deals....ten years ago. This brings out Chavo and Hernandez, complaints are made, Mexican food jokes are made, a brawl breaks out and the champs clear the ring. Ok so the wedding only gets twenty minutes. That's WAY better.
Hogan and Sting are STILL talking. Sting suggests that maybe Brooke can see something Hogan can't.
It's wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here's Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully's hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other. No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister.
Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it's too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8's vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face
Results
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face
Friday
Impact got a 1.2, up from last week.
Smackdown (700th Episode)
Date: January 18, 2013
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're getting very close to the Rumble and there's a new world champion that the winner could challenge. Tonight is Del Rio's fiesta for winning the title which is likely to open the show. Big Show is going to get his rematch at the Rumble so look for the interruption from him. There isn't much else to talk about here so let's get to it.
Apparently the Rock Concert is on Smackdown tonight. That sounds like a replay to me.
I was right as we open with a mariachi band and a dancing girl in the ring. Ricardo handles the introductions of course and I can't help but like Del Rio a lot now. I don't know if it's the white suit or what but this face turn is perfect for him. Del Rio says we haven't always seen eye to eye but we can celebrate that Big Show isn't world champion anymore. They seem to really be cranking up the fake pops tonight.
Cue Ziggler who is here to crash the party. Del Rio says this is his party and apparently doesn't want them here. Ziggler says that Alberto doesn't have the world title but rather a target on his head. Dolph introduces Del Rio and Ricardo to Langston so Del Rio says get out of here. Ziggler says how about I have Langston drop you right here and I leave with the title. Del Rio says try it and here's Big Show. Dolph says Del Rio is outnumbered so here's Sheamus.
The pale one talks about his history with Del Rio, including stealing his car in San Antonio. Del Rio deserves to be champion though and Sheamus shakes his hand. Sheamus offers to be the bouncer for the fiesta and the fight is about to begin when Booker come out. Yep, it's another tag match. I wouldn't mind these as much if they didn't spend ten minutes setting up something that should take 30 seconds. The heels leave and Booker gives us a Spinarooni to mariachi music. Sheamus does the Irish version of the Mexican hat dance.
Kofi Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro
Non-title and no entrance for the champion anyway. Kofi cartwheels away to start before firing off some forearms. Cesaro grabs the gutwrench suplex to take Kofi down but Kingston starts jumping around and hitting some more forearms to take over. JBL throws in that this is episode 700 like an afterthought. That's certainly a change of pace. The SOS gets two for Kofi so he goes up, only to dive into the Neutralizer (Switzerland, neutral. Oh I get it.) for the pin at 2:59. Not much above a squash here. Who did Kofi tick off lately?
Cesaro waves an American flag post match.
Miz shakes his head in the back when Epico, Primo and Rosa come in to laugh at him. They talk about Flair and Miz's segment on Raw and suggest a match tonight. Miz doesn't care which it is, which is appropriate as no one cares about Miz as a face.
Great Khali vs. Tensai
They circle each other to start as the announcers talk about monster movies. Khali fires off the chops as Josh desperately tries to make Tensai seem like a threat to anything more than a buffet. Tensai charges into a boot in the corner and the big chop gets the pin at 1:28.
Natalya and Khali dance a bit. JBL: “Does the Anvil know his daughter is a Punjabi princess?”
HELL NO is in the back and wonders why Dr. Shelby thought bringing in the Rhodes Scholars was a good idea. Bryan makes fun of Cody's facial hair and Kane stares at him. This develops into an argument until Orton glares them down. They have a six man tonight. Bryan points out that Orton isn't a champion at the moment which ticks him off a bit. After they win their match tonight, GROUP HUG! Randy: “I'm not much of a hugger.” Bryan: “Not yet you're not.” That came off a little bit creepy.
HELL NO/Randy Orton vs. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett
Randy wants Barrett to start but gets Cody instead. Off to Kane for his low dropkick which gets two before it's off to Bryan. A double ax to the arm slows Cody down even more and it's time to crank on it a bit. Daniel fires off his kicks to Cody's chest before it's off to Sandow who has to run away from the NO Lock. The heels regroup on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Sandow working over Kane before it's off to Cody. He's worried about hurting his mustache I guess because it's off to Damien again for the Wind-Up Elbow. Kane slugs Barrett down for a bit but walks into Winds of Change for two. Cody's Disaster Kick jumps into an uppercut though and it's a double tag off to Sandow and Orton. Randy starts cleaning house but gets caught in Cross Rhodes for two. Rhodes gets shoved to the floor by Kane and it's the RKO for the pin on Damien at 4:21 shown of 7:51.
Orton gets hugged and looks annoyed.
Here's the ENTIRE Rock Concert from Raw and the post concert brawl.
The Miz vs. Primo
Dang that's kind of a drop isn't it? Miz starts by doing the Flair slick back of his hair. Primo gets annoyed by yet another Flair tribute character (please don't let that be the case) and pounds away. A low dropkick to the face gets two for Primo and it's off to a chinlock with a bodyscissors. Miz fights up from his knees as JBL talks about Heath Slater's mom. Josh defends her and the deadpan voice JBL responds with is hilarious. “Do you consider Heath Slater's mom a wrestling analyst?”
Primo keeps pounding away but Miz comes back with left hands of his own. They're both left handed here which is a pretty odd thing to see. JBL takes a shot at TNA by saying that teams like the LOD, the Killer Bees and the Dudleys never made it as singles wrestlers. Miz rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face to take over. JBL says very few people are like him and very few people are like Josh “thank God.” Epico distracts Miz to let Primo get in a chop block before being rammed into his cousin. Miz finishes him with the Figure Four at 5:44.
The Divas celebrate Katilyn's title win and Layla is admiring the belt a little too much. Booker and Teddy come up to congratulate her as well.
Kaitlyn vs. Aksana
They lock up to start and Kaitlyn takes her to the mat with a front facelock. A not very snappy suplex gets two for the champion (this is non-title) and Aksana shoves her to the floor. Aksana hooks a chinlock before I think trying to work on the shoulder. They start brawling on the mat with Aksana keeping control. Out of absolutely NOWHERE Kaitlyn hits a bad spear for the win at 3:30.
Mick Foley Hall of Fame video. Cool stuff. This is where it helps when WWE owns basically every piece of video ever and can put almost every highlight Foley has ever had into this.
We recap Ryback and Shield from Monday.
Shield does their usual thing and calls out Ryback, Sheamus and Orton. The reason they attacked Foley was because Foley set an example that led to a lot of people trying to be hardcore and injuring themselves in the process. That's not a terrible explanation and makes as much sense as anything else.
Orton and Sheamus are watching the promo and say bring it on Shield. Sheamus apologizes for not being there to help Orton at Main Event when Shield attacked. Orton says he didn't need help and talk turns to the Rumble, which both guys say they'll win.
Big Show/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio
Ziggy and Del Rio get things going here. After escaping a quick wristlock, Del Rio takes Dolph down and tries a middle rope moonsault. That goes nowhere so Alberto launches him into the air for two. Off to Sheamus to pound away on Ziggler as is his custom. A delayed vertical gets two but White Noise is escaped. Show comes in and pounds away on him in the corner before sending Sheamus to the outside. Langston gets involved and a fight nearly breaks out but the referee ejects Big E before it can go too far. AJ is tossed too.
We take a break and come back with Ziggler holding a chinlock on Del Rio but the champion comes out of it with a German suplex. The hot tag brings in Sheamus and as usual, Ziggler gets beaten up. Show interferes to send Sheamus off the top and out to the floor and actually give Ziggler a chance. Off to Show officially to stand on Sheamus' back and lay on his leg. From his back, Sheamus manages to fire off the forearms to the chest to escape the hold but Show drops an elbow on his back to stop the tag.
A side slam gets two for Show and Show hits his Vader Bomb. He goes up for another one and you know that move isn't hitting twice in one night. There's the hot tag to Del Rio who cleans house on Ziggler. A low superkick to Dolph gets two followed by the cross armbreaker but Show makes the save. Sheamus pops back in for White Noise on Show to send him to the apron. Del Rio kicks the big man to the floor before throwing a bucket of water in his face (remember what happened on Raw) and Show walks out instead of fighting for the countout at 11:35 show of 15:05.
Red, white and green balloons fall to end the show.
Results
Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer
Great Khali b. Tensai – Chop to the head
HELL NO/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett – RKO to Sandow
The Miz b. Primo – Figure Four Leg Lock
Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear
Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler via countout
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing either.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Bull Hammer
Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Spear
CM Punk b. Brodus Clay – Anaconda Vice
3MB b. Sheamus – Slater eliminated Sheamus
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – NO Lock
John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Adrian Neville b. Sakamoto – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press
Trent Barreta b. Leo Kruger via disqualification when Kassius Ohno interfered
Big E. Langston b. Camacho – Big Ending
Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro/Damien Sandow – Springboard Elbow Drop to Sandow
Impact Wrestling
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face
Smackdown
Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer
Great Khali b. Tensai – Chop to the head
HELL NO/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett – RKO to Sandow
The Miz b. Primo – Figure Four Leg Lock
Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear
Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler via countout
Smackdown got a 2.2, up from last week's 1.8.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2013
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's the 20th Anniversary celebration of Raw tonight and the main match announced so far is Eve likely dropping the Divas Title to Kaitlyn. Other than that we've likely got Rocky here tonight to hype up the Rumble some more, which is at least some good old fashioned PPV selling. We're in the good season for WWE so hopefully things are on tonight. Let's get to it.
A mash up of all the Raw openings (complete with original images) open things up. Cool stuff.
Here's Vince in the ring to open things up. He talks about how Raw has been entertaining in 20 years and in that time, over 4 billion people have enjoyed Raw. Vince says that's the case because he's a certifiable genius and he thanks the fans. Apparently tonight it's Ziggler vs. Cena in a cage and the Rock Concert 3. Vince thanks the fans again and is cut off by....Big Show?
Big Show says the show has to wait but gets in trouble for calling Vince by his first name. Vince congratulates Show for losing weight, but says that it's just him losing the title. Vince wants to see the footage but Show wants to talk about it instead. The boss says the fans here in Houston (Cole: “Cheap pop.” Jerry: “Yep.”
want to see the footage so we get a clip of the ending with Del Rio winning the title.Show accuses Booker T of trying to play to the Hispanic audience by helping Del Rio win the title. He mentions his iron clad contract and says it makes him better than everyone. Show wants Alberto stripped of the title which draws out the champion to what appears to be a legit pop. Ricardo has some towels with him for some reason and his cuffs aren't buttoned. No car this week though and Del Rio has some green on his trunks and pads now. Ricardo's towels are covering something that he's carrying to the ring with him.
Del Rio talks about how Show didn't like how the tables were turned on him and someone was fighting back against his bullying. Alberto says if Show has a problem, do something about it. He offers Show a rematch tonight but Show says no. He isn't prepared tonight but Del Rio says that being a giant should make him prepared. Del Rio wants Show to show some cajones but Show says no again. Instead, Show wants it at the Rumble.
Del Rio calls him a fat jackass in Spanish but Show doesn't like being insulted. Alberto gets the present, which is a bucket with a Mexican flag painted on it. There's something we can't see in it, so Show threatens to break Ricardo's spine if he throws water on him. It's red white and green confetti in the vein of the Harlem globetrotters. Show goes after Ricardo but Alberto takes him down with a rana (impressive) and the corner enziguri to send Show running. I can't believe I'm saying this but Alberto is AWESOME right now.
We get a clip from Bob Barker on Raw.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Non-title because why would Orton care about a title? Feeling out process to start with Orton hitting a Thesz Press to send Wade to the floor. Orton belly to backs him onto the barricade which gets two back inside. There's the Orton Circle Stomp and a clothesline sends Barrett to the floor as we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a chinlock until Orton elbows out of it.
Wade comes back with some hard forearms and the boot in the ropes for two. Back to the chinlock but Orton elbows out of it again. Orton fires off his finishing sequence (clotheslines, powerslam, backbreaker, Elevated DDT) but the RKO is countered with Randy's shoulder going into the post. Wade loads up the Bull Hammer....and gets the 100% clean pin at 10:31. I didn't see that coming at all.
Eve is told that if she tries to get counted out or disqualified she's stripped of the title. She tries to seduce Booker to get out of it and he cracks up. Eve slaps Teddy as a result.
It's time for Bryan and Kane's four month followup on anger management. They agree to lie to Shelby and say whatever he wants to hear. Shelby starts with a group hug and asks what they like about each other. Bryan likes that Kane is tall, can light things on fire by lowering his arms, and Kane's dancing abilities. Kane likes that Bryan is agile, has a great beard, and isn't afraid to admit that sometimes he wears women's clothing. Shelby says everything is ok and they can go, but there's one more thing.
He calls someone and says send them in and here are the Rhodes Scholars. They're going to cause an anger trigger (with Sandow correcting the doctor of course) and HELL NO needs to not freak out. Cody winds up ripping on Shelby and ask what his credentials are. Damien says Shelby is a worse doctor than Dr. Phil. Shelby: “GET EM!!!” HELL NO beats up the Scholars and Kane gets in his usual great line of “Now THAT'S what I call a happy place!”
Kane vs. Damien Sandow
Kane pulls him in to start and fires off the uppercuts. Side slam gets two but Kane goes up for the clothesline and Sandow bails to the floor. Damien sends him into the apron to take over and hits the Wind-Up Elbow for two but jumps into the chokeslam for the pin at 1:58. Ok then.
Here's Mick Foley as the first inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2013. This was announced on WWE.com over the weekend so this isn't a huge shock. After the cheap pop here's the Shield to interrupt. Foley wisely bails and here's Ryback for the weekly 3-1 fight with the Shield. Orton and Sheamus run in as well and Ambrose gets a Shell Shock.
Without going to a break or anything else happening, here's a REPLAY OF WHAT WE JUST WATCHED. Josh goes into the ring to talk to Ryback, who says that Shield has kept the title on Punk three times now. Ryback doesn't care about conspiracy theories because he can't rest until he needs to give the Shield back what they took from him. FEED HIM SHIELD.
We get a clip of some of the weird gimmicks we've seen over the years. I had hoped to forget some of these.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn
If Eve gets disqualified or counted out she loses the title. Kaitlyn sends her to the floor to start so the champ hides a bit. Kaitlyn is the hometown girl tonight so it's pretty clear what's going down here. Eve knocks her down and hits her running flip splash as we hear about Lamb Chop for no apparent reason. Off to a triangle choke from Eve but Kaitlyn makes a rope.
The reverse DDT gets two and Kaitlyn seemingly dives onto Eve's knee. The spinning neckbreaker gets two for Kaitlyn so Eve pounds away a bit. Kaitlyn's gutbuster hits but it sends Eve to the floor. The challenger follows her out and gets whipped into the barricade. Eve puts her over the barricade but Kaitlyn sneaks back in and spears Eve for the title at 5:35.
Brodus says Punk's comments last week shouldn't have been said and he'll shut Punk up next.
Donald Trump bought Raw once.
Brodus Clay vs. CM Punk
Brodus sends Punk to the floor and pounds on him in the corner like a Funkasaurus would do but Punk gets his knees up in the corner. There's the springboard clothesline and a neckbreaker to put Brodus down. Off to a cravate by Punk but Brodus suplexes Punk down. Some clotheslines put Punk down and there's the running headbutt to the chest. Clay misses a splash in the corner though and Punk kicks him down. The top rope elbow sets up the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 3:40.
Punk talks about how Rock is going to be out here later and the people have the right to like either Rock or Punk better. However, they don't have the right to have their own facts. Punk has the most important title in the world and has had it for over 400 days. Fact. Later tonight, Rock is going to come out here and “entertain” the people, but at the Rumble, Punk is going to beat him. Basic promo here.
We get a package on moments involving vehicles on Raw.
Foley is on the phone with his kids and says that he wasn't scared out there. Rock shows up so Mick hangs up on his kids. Foley extends his hand but Rock says he doesn't want a handshake. Rock hugs Foley instead. That's more like it. Mick steals the FINALLY line a few times and tries to get Rock to bite on it which he finally does.
Vickie interrupts and says they're loud. She yells at both of them and Rock says he has nothing to say to her. Foley: “Holy pec pop of love Rock I thought you were going to lay the verbal Smackdown on her.” Rock: “Trust me.” Foley: “You Rock Bottomed me last year.” Rock: “No one remembers that!” Rock says to pay attention to the Rock Concert later.
Sheamus vs. 3MB
This is an over the top rope challenge. JBL: “This isn't fair.” Cole: “To Sheamus?” JBL: “No.” The band beats on Sheamus to start but he fights them off with ease. Sheamus hits a Regal Roll on McIntyre onto Mahal but can't get Drew out. All three put him on the ropes but he easily fights them off. Mahal goes up like an idiot and gets knocked out. McIntyre gets backdropped out but Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick to send himself to the apron. He pulls Slater onto the top rope but the other members pull Sheamus to the floor, giving 3MB the win at 3:10. No rating for this due to obvious reasons.
Slater gets on Drew's shoulders but Sheamus gets back in. He kicks Drew's leg out and kicks Slater's head off. Mahal gets one for good measure. Sore loser!
Cena says we should be talking about a huge list of people (including the Bashams and Braden Walker) instead of Big E. Langston. He gives a VERY fast history of his character and says tonight he's beating Ziggler.
Here's Miz who promises a HOF member on MizTV. He gives us a hint: WOO!
Back from a break and the guest is Flair. Wow that's not really surprising at all. Miz asks Flair what his favorite moment on Raw is and that would be his retirement ceremony. Flair doesn't want to talk about the past though, because he'd rather talk about Ryback taking down the Shield. Flair is wearing the Rolex Shawn gave him and they have a “really” off. Flair dances a bit and Miz says that was kind of awesome. More WOOing ensues and we get a video package on people with interesting ways of speaking, which is basically just a bunch of catchphrases, many of which are from the last three years or so.
After the video, Miz says that there's one missing. Miz tries to give Flair hints about who it is and Flair can't say it because this show is PG. “I got four ex-wives son I need a job right now.” Flair goes into his limousine riding bit until Cesaro comes out with an American flag. Cesaro says these two embody America like no one else: a failed reality TV star more focused on fame than greatness and a sixteen time world champion who made ten million dollars but spent twenty. Flair: “Thirty million brother.”
Cesaro holds up the Horsemen sign but says that's only for Flair's four ex-wives. Miz says he'll pay Flair's bar tab tonight and give Cesaro the receipt right now. Cesaro says he'll walk away but Flair starts chopping him. Miz hits the Finale to leave the champion laying. Flair loads up the Figure Four but lets Miz do it instead.
Mike Tyson was on Raw in 1998. That was huge to put it mildly.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan
Cody pounds away a bit, JBL asks about caterpillars, Cole tells us facts that no one cares about, the NO Lock ends this in 75 seconds.
Eve quits WWE. That's legit apparently.
AJ shows us some wedding videos, culminating in AJ saying yes to Vince's GM offer to her. AJ says she lost everything because of Cena. Ziggler comes in to promise to take everything from Cena. He says he'll steal the show tonight but I'm not buying this for the most part.
Here's JR to a nice ovation to call the cage match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena
This is No DQ because that has to be mentioned in cage matches now apparently. There are the usual three ways to win this too. Ziggler tries to escape quickly but gets pulled down and hit with a release fisherman's suplex for one. Off to a chinlock by Cena but Ziggler comes back with a dropkick to take over. A corner splash and a pair of neckbreakers result in no cover for Dolph. Ziggler tries a third neckbreaker but has to escape the AA instead.
A Downward Spiral into a Stunner gets two for Ziggler but Cena grabs a slingshot to send Dolph into the cage. Ziggler tries to climb but Cena rams him into the cage to take over as we go to a break. Back with both guys on top of the cage but Cena falling down to the ropes. Ziggler dropkicks Cena back into the ring for two to take over. Apparently during the break Cena was out but Langston blocked his feet from hitting the ground in an impressive power display.
Cena comes back and fires away on Ziggler before trying the AA. Ziggler grabs the cage and nearly loses his trunks but escapes anyway. A fast superkick puts Cena down for two but Ziggler can't get out of the door. Langston and Cena get in a tug of war with Ziggler but Cena pulls him back inside for the STF. Ziggler counters the hold into the sleeper in an impressive move. Cena manages to climb to the top rope while still in the hold and falls down onto his back, breaking the hold in the process.
John goes for the door but Langston slams the door on his head, giving Ziggler a two count. Ziggler goes for the door but Cena climbs over the top. Cena slams the door on Dolph's head but Big E. is waiting on Cena with a chair. John gets back in and gets caught in a Zig Zag for two. Ziggler goes to the top of the cage but Cena easily pulls him down.
Ziggler runs the ropes to hit a running DDT off the second rope for two more. These near falls are awesome. AJ freaks out and breaks the announce table before climbing the cage. The distraction lets Langston come in with the briefcase but Dolph clocks him with it by mistake. A very fast AA gives Cena the pin at 16:35.
Here's Rock to close the show. He shows us a picture of himself on his first appearance on the show. “What was I thinking??? The Rock looks like an escaped mental patient about to audition for the Backstreet Boys.” The first song is set to the tune of Heartbreak Hotel and makes fun of Paul Heyman for being fat. A member of ZZ Top is in the audience tonight. Rock calls out to the ladies and says his favorite curve on a woman is her smile. He invites Vickie out and here she is, very timid to say the least.
Rock's next song is a rendition of You Look Wonderful Tonight, but with the word horrible swapped for wonderful. “You look like a hooker, but not the expensive kind.” After Vickie leaves, Rock gets down to business by calling out Punk. With Heyman and Punk on the stage, Rock says it's a fact that Punk has been unstoppable for 421 days. Last week Punk said Rock would be boxing with God at the Rumble. Rock says Punk isn't God, but as God as his witness, he's taking the title at the Rumble. Punk charges the ring and the fight is on! They're pulled apart to end the show.
Results
Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Bull Hammer
Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Spear
CM Punk b. Brodus Clay – Anaconda Vice
3MB b. Sheamus – Slater eliminated Sheamus
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – NO Lock
John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.2.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 16, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
We're officially in the Langston Era here and if my memory is right, this was filmed recently which means we're actually going to be closer to being caught up with the current WWE product. It's hard to say what to expect here but the word seems to be that something big is going to be announced soon. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's main event and the title change.
Welcome Home.
Adrian Neville vs. Sakamoto
Neville is formerly known as Pac. Interestingly enough a guy on the forums that I run used to backyard wrestle with him. Sakamoto is in way better shape than you would expect him to be given the robe he always wore. Neville is apparently an amazing high flier and he spins out of a wristlock and grabs a headlock to start. A headscissors puts Sakamoto down and Adrian flips back to his feet. The fans dig him so far.
Sakamoto gets a boot up in the corner and hooks a chinlock to take over for a little bit. Make that a decent bit as the chinlock continues. Adrian suplexes out of the hold and flips forward a few more times before hitting an enziguri to stagger Sakamoto. Neville goes up and hits a HUGE corkscrew shooting star for the pin at 3:25.
Leo Kruger vs. Trent Barreta
Ohno sits in on commentary. This is as a result of Trent getting beaten up and injured by Kruger a month ago. Trent takes over with a fast clothesline and a knee drop for two. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two for Barreta and it's off to a headlock. That goes nowhere as Kruger fights up and hits a hard knee to the ribs to take over. Trent gets draped ribs first over the top rope for two as we take a break.
Back with Kruger working over the ribs with a knee drop and a half crab. A gutbuster gets two for Leo as Kassius and Regal continue to argue. Regal threatens Ohno so Kassius acts as if nothing has ever been wrong between them. Kruger misses a charge in the corner so Trent comes back with chops and a clothesline. The running jumping elbow in the corner puts Leo down again and a missile dropkick gets two for Trent.
The tornado DDT is countered into another half crab with a knee in the back but Trent finally makes a rope. An enziguri sends Kruger down to the floor, followed by a BIG flip dive from Trent to take him down again. Kassius runs down and decks Trent though, allowing for Kruger to hit the Kruger End back inside for the pin at 7:53 shown of 11:23.
A second referee informs the first one of Ohno's interference and the decision is reversed.
Here's the NEW NXT Champion Big E. Langston with something to say. He welcomes us to the Era of Five but here's Camacho to interrupt him. Hasn't Langston already beaten this guy? A referee comes out and we get a match which I think is non-title.
Camacho vs. Big E. Langston
Camacho pounds away in the corner to start but Langston no sells it and clotheslines Camacho down. The Big Ending finishes Camacho in 1:15.
Langston does his usual stuff post match. This takes longer than the match itself.
Damien Sandow/Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd
Before the match, Sandow says that the people here will learn to appreciate him. Sandow and Kidd start things off but it's quickly off to Justin. Damien gets his arm cranked on a bit so it's off to Cesaro. Gabriel dropkicks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Justin getting two off a sunset flip on Sandow. He cranks on Damien's arm and messes with his hair to really get on Sandow's nerves.
Off to Cesaro for a hard headlock for a few seconds before Gabriel fights back with chops and right hands. Cesaro elbows him down before it's back to Sandow for some knee drops. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and it's back to Antonio. Off to a front facelock before Justin fights up and backdrops Cesaro to the floor. That's about the extent of his offense though as Cesaro comes back in with the gutwrench suplex for two.
Back to the chinlock but Gabriel escapes for the third time, with this one being followed by a hot tag to Tyson. Everything breaks down as Sandow comes in again with Damien getting two off a rollup. Back to Gabriel as Kidd dives onto Cesaro. A Lionsault and the springboard elbow to Sandow get the clean pin at 8:00 shown of 11:30.
Results
Adrian Neville b. Sakamoto – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press
Trent Barreta b. Leo Kruger via disqualification when Kassius Ohno interfered
Big E. Langston b. Camacho – Big Ending
Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro/Damien Sandow – Springboard Elbow Drop to Sandow
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay
Tonight is about the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. For those of you that haven't followed Impact Wrestling for awhile, you did indeed read that properly. Also we get to deal with the fallout from Genesis as we now have about two months before the next three hour PPV in Lockdown. Odds are we're not going to really start building up to that for awhile yet. Let's get to it.
The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.
Ray is getting his tuxedo ready and seems happy. Spike Dudley comes in (complete with taped glasses) and is followed by Tommy Dreamer. Apparently they're his groomsmen.
Some Knockouts are Brooke's bridesmaids. It's not clear if Hulk is going to be there or not.
Here's Hardy to open the show. He talks about retaining at Genesis and surviving against all odds. Hardy says he does what he does for the people and he'll keep fighting for them forever. 2013 is going to be the year of Jeff Hardy so bring on the fights. This brings out Daniels and Kaz to talk about Daniels' title shot next week which he won by beating Storm on Sunday. Daniels does his usual name jokes but Hardy wants to fight right now. Hardy gets beaten down until Storm runs in for the save. If you can't figure out what this sets up, go read something else.
James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence
Actually it starts right now. It's a brawl to start with Jeff diving on both opponents as we take a break. Back with Storm vs. Daniels before it's quickly off to the champion. Storm comes back in after about half a second to start working on the arm. Daniels rams him into the corner so Kaz can choke away like a good heel would. Bad Influence (I'm really not feeling that name and it's barely ever used) takes their turns on Storm as we're waiting on the big hot tag to Jeff.
Storm finally hits a Russian legsweep and makes the aforementioned hot tag, hitting a running clothesline off the apron to take Daniels down. Everything breaks down and Storm hits Closing time on Daniels. He dives over the top at Chris and hurts his own knee in the process. Kaz escapes the Twist and rakes Hardy's eyes to set up a small package for two. Hardy grabs a VERY sloppy Twist for the pin at 12:00.
Daniels blasts Hardy in the back and hits Angel's Wings on the belt.
The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.
Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.
Time for Gut Check. Apparently only one guy gets to go to the judges and that's Jay Bradley (meaning Brian Cage goes home). Tazz says no, so Jay gives a decent speech saying he's earned this shot. Snow says yes, Bruce says yes, he gets a contract. Why this is supposed to be interesting I'm not sure.
Christian York vs. Kenny King
This is fallout from King's attack on York that likely cost him the title on Sunday. York dives onto King to start and beats on him on the floor before heading back inside for a clothesline. Christian pounds away in the corner and hits a bunch of kicks to King's face. This is one sided so far. King fires off a kick but York immediately comes back with a suplex. He loads King into the Rack to do what King did to him on Sunday, but Kenny rakes the eyes and rolls York up with a handful of trunks to win at 2:52. King's offense consisted of an eye rake, a kick and a rollup.
Ray asks Sting to talk to Hulk for him. Sting says he'll try.
Aries antagonizes Roode for not winning the title before saying the arguing makes no sense. The slanting isn't in their favor and Aries is tired of it. Apparently they're crashing the wedding.
Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.
Hulk is in the parking lot and the cameraman asks him if he's here for the wedding tonight. Hulk says nothing other than saying get the camera out of his face.
Taz comes in to Bully's room and they make fun of Heyman a bit. Dreamer asks about Hogan but Ray says he's marrying Brooke as long as his guys are here with him.
We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.
Here's Sting to ask Hogan to come out and talk about the wedding. Hogan says he doesn't trust Bully because in wrestling, everyone stabs everyone in the back. He wants an explanation from Sting on why he trusts Bully. Sting talks about all of the times that Ray has saved them but Hogan says he has a bad feeling about this and he'll never trust Bully Ray. Sting says Hulk needs to do this for himself and Brooke. Hulk says he'll do the right thing. Brother.
Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.
We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.
Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky
Winner gets a title shot at some point. I'm digging Velvet's new curly hair. Velvet sends her to the floor to start as we're not exactly in a fast gear early on. A sunset flip gets two for Velvet so Gail kicks her in the ribs to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Kim and Velvet gets the same off a snap suplex. Sky can't hit a bulldog so Gail dropkicks her down. Eat Defeat hits but Velvet gets a foot under the rope at two. Now the bulldog hits as does a headscissors. A kind of spinning X-Factor takes down Gail and In Yo Face gets the pin at 5:54.
Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.
It's 9:30 and with nothing else to go, it's time for the wedding???
We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.
Here are Aries and Roode to complain about life in general. They say there should be a celebration about the two of them because without the two of them, there wouldn't be a show. They complain about not having respect despite being champion for almost all of last year. Aries points out how all of the champions in TNA used to be big deals....ten years ago. This brings out Chavo and Hernandez, complaints are made, Mexican food jokes are made, a brawl breaks out and the champs clear the ring. Ok so the wedding only gets twenty minutes. That's WAY better.
Hogan and Sting are STILL talking. Sting suggests that maybe Brooke can see something Hogan can't.
It's wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here's Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully's hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other. No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister.
Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it's too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8's vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face
Results
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face
Friday
Impact got a 1.2, up from last week.
Smackdown (700th Episode)
Date: January 18, 2013
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're getting very close to the Rumble and there's a new world champion that the winner could challenge. Tonight is Del Rio's fiesta for winning the title which is likely to open the show. Big Show is going to get his rematch at the Rumble so look for the interruption from him. There isn't much else to talk about here so let's get to it.
Apparently the Rock Concert is on Smackdown tonight. That sounds like a replay to me.
I was right as we open with a mariachi band and a dancing girl in the ring. Ricardo handles the introductions of course and I can't help but like Del Rio a lot now. I don't know if it's the white suit or what but this face turn is perfect for him. Del Rio says we haven't always seen eye to eye but we can celebrate that Big Show isn't world champion anymore. They seem to really be cranking up the fake pops tonight.
Cue Ziggler who is here to crash the party. Del Rio says this is his party and apparently doesn't want them here. Ziggler says that Alberto doesn't have the world title but rather a target on his head. Dolph introduces Del Rio and Ricardo to Langston so Del Rio says get out of here. Ziggler says how about I have Langston drop you right here and I leave with the title. Del Rio says try it and here's Big Show. Dolph says Del Rio is outnumbered so here's Sheamus.
The pale one talks about his history with Del Rio, including stealing his car in San Antonio. Del Rio deserves to be champion though and Sheamus shakes his hand. Sheamus offers to be the bouncer for the fiesta and the fight is about to begin when Booker come out. Yep, it's another tag match. I wouldn't mind these as much if they didn't spend ten minutes setting up something that should take 30 seconds. The heels leave and Booker gives us a Spinarooni to mariachi music. Sheamus does the Irish version of the Mexican hat dance.
Kofi Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro
Non-title and no entrance for the champion anyway. Kofi cartwheels away to start before firing off some forearms. Cesaro grabs the gutwrench suplex to take Kofi down but Kingston starts jumping around and hitting some more forearms to take over. JBL throws in that this is episode 700 like an afterthought. That's certainly a change of pace. The SOS gets two for Kofi so he goes up, only to dive into the Neutralizer (Switzerland, neutral. Oh I get it.) for the pin at 2:59. Not much above a squash here. Who did Kofi tick off lately?
Cesaro waves an American flag post match.
Miz shakes his head in the back when Epico, Primo and Rosa come in to laugh at him. They talk about Flair and Miz's segment on Raw and suggest a match tonight. Miz doesn't care which it is, which is appropriate as no one cares about Miz as a face.
Great Khali vs. Tensai
They circle each other to start as the announcers talk about monster movies. Khali fires off the chops as Josh desperately tries to make Tensai seem like a threat to anything more than a buffet. Tensai charges into a boot in the corner and the big chop gets the pin at 1:28.
Natalya and Khali dance a bit. JBL: “Does the Anvil know his daughter is a Punjabi princess?”
HELL NO is in the back and wonders why Dr. Shelby thought bringing in the Rhodes Scholars was a good idea. Bryan makes fun of Cody's facial hair and Kane stares at him. This develops into an argument until Orton glares them down. They have a six man tonight. Bryan points out that Orton isn't a champion at the moment which ticks him off a bit. After they win their match tonight, GROUP HUG! Randy: “I'm not much of a hugger.” Bryan: “Not yet you're not.” That came off a little bit creepy.
HELL NO/Randy Orton vs. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett
Randy wants Barrett to start but gets Cody instead. Off to Kane for his low dropkick which gets two before it's off to Bryan. A double ax to the arm slows Cody down even more and it's time to crank on it a bit. Daniel fires off his kicks to Cody's chest before it's off to Sandow who has to run away from the NO Lock. The heels regroup on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Sandow working over Kane before it's off to Cody. He's worried about hurting his mustache I guess because it's off to Damien again for the Wind-Up Elbow. Kane slugs Barrett down for a bit but walks into Winds of Change for two. Cody's Disaster Kick jumps into an uppercut though and it's a double tag off to Sandow and Orton. Randy starts cleaning house but gets caught in Cross Rhodes for two. Rhodes gets shoved to the floor by Kane and it's the RKO for the pin on Damien at 4:21 shown of 7:51.
Orton gets hugged and looks annoyed.
Here's the ENTIRE Rock Concert from Raw and the post concert brawl.
The Miz vs. Primo
Dang that's kind of a drop isn't it? Miz starts by doing the Flair slick back of his hair. Primo gets annoyed by yet another Flair tribute character (please don't let that be the case) and pounds away. A low dropkick to the face gets two for Primo and it's off to a chinlock with a bodyscissors. Miz fights up from his knees as JBL talks about Heath Slater's mom. Josh defends her and the deadpan voice JBL responds with is hilarious. “Do you consider Heath Slater's mom a wrestling analyst?”
Primo keeps pounding away but Miz comes back with left hands of his own. They're both left handed here which is a pretty odd thing to see. JBL takes a shot at TNA by saying that teams like the LOD, the Killer Bees and the Dudleys never made it as singles wrestlers. Miz rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face to take over. JBL says very few people are like him and very few people are like Josh “thank God.” Epico distracts Miz to let Primo get in a chop block before being rammed into his cousin. Miz finishes him with the Figure Four at 5:44.
The Divas celebrate Katilyn's title win and Layla is admiring the belt a little too much. Booker and Teddy come up to congratulate her as well.
Kaitlyn vs. Aksana
They lock up to start and Kaitlyn takes her to the mat with a front facelock. A not very snappy suplex gets two for the champion (this is non-title) and Aksana shoves her to the floor. Aksana hooks a chinlock before I think trying to work on the shoulder. They start brawling on the mat with Aksana keeping control. Out of absolutely NOWHERE Kaitlyn hits a bad spear for the win at 3:30.
Mick Foley Hall of Fame video. Cool stuff. This is where it helps when WWE owns basically every piece of video ever and can put almost every highlight Foley has ever had into this.
We recap Ryback and Shield from Monday.
Shield does their usual thing and calls out Ryback, Sheamus and Orton. The reason they attacked Foley was because Foley set an example that led to a lot of people trying to be hardcore and injuring themselves in the process. That's not a terrible explanation and makes as much sense as anything else.
Orton and Sheamus are watching the promo and say bring it on Shield. Sheamus apologizes for not being there to help Orton at Main Event when Shield attacked. Orton says he didn't need help and talk turns to the Rumble, which both guys say they'll win.
Big Show/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio
Ziggy and Del Rio get things going here. After escaping a quick wristlock, Del Rio takes Dolph down and tries a middle rope moonsault. That goes nowhere so Alberto launches him into the air for two. Off to Sheamus to pound away on Ziggler as is his custom. A delayed vertical gets two but White Noise is escaped. Show comes in and pounds away on him in the corner before sending Sheamus to the outside. Langston gets involved and a fight nearly breaks out but the referee ejects Big E before it can go too far. AJ is tossed too.
We take a break and come back with Ziggler holding a chinlock on Del Rio but the champion comes out of it with a German suplex. The hot tag brings in Sheamus and as usual, Ziggler gets beaten up. Show interferes to send Sheamus off the top and out to the floor and actually give Ziggler a chance. Off to Show officially to stand on Sheamus' back and lay on his leg. From his back, Sheamus manages to fire off the forearms to the chest to escape the hold but Show drops an elbow on his back to stop the tag.
A side slam gets two for Show and Show hits his Vader Bomb. He goes up for another one and you know that move isn't hitting twice in one night. There's the hot tag to Del Rio who cleans house on Ziggler. A low superkick to Dolph gets two followed by the cross armbreaker but Show makes the save. Sheamus pops back in for White Noise on Show to send him to the apron. Del Rio kicks the big man to the floor before throwing a bucket of water in his face (remember what happened on Raw) and Show walks out instead of fighting for the countout at 11:35 show of 15:05.
Red, white and green balloons fall to end the show.
Results
Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer
Great Khali b. Tensai – Chop to the head
HELL NO/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett – RKO to Sandow
The Miz b. Primo – Figure Four Leg Lock
Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear
Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler via countout
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing either.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Bull Hammer
Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Spear
CM Punk b. Brodus Clay – Anaconda Vice
3MB b. Sheamus – Slater eliminated Sheamus
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – NO Lock
John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Adrian Neville b. Sakamoto – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press
Trent Barreta b. Leo Kruger via disqualification when Kassius Ohno interfered
Big E. Langston b. Camacho – Big Ending
Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro/Damien Sandow – Springboard Elbow Drop to Sandow
Impact Wrestling
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face
Smackdown
Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer
Great Khali b. Tensai – Chop to the head
HELL NO/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett – RKO to Sandow
The Miz b. Primo – Figure Four Leg Lock
Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear
Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler via countout