Trailer For WZ! True Wrestlezone Story: Talon.

[Big Papa Santo]

Talon.
Born James Newburn Talonshire in 1942, Talon grew up at the end of a great American era, but also at the start of a new one.
________________________________________________________________
INTERVIEW WITH TALONSHIRES MOTHER, DATED 3/19/2004

Interviewer: Ma'am, your son has grown up to become one of the most influential bitchers in American history. Where do you believe that his most famous characteristic came from?

Mrs. Talonshire: Talon, was always complaining. When we got him a puppy for Christmas he would say "Fuck that puppy" Or when we would make meals, "Fuck this shit, feed it to the horses" And that was when me and his father decided to enroll him in the Pierre D'Falu Academy Of Bitching And Whining For Young Boys, because if anyone could make our boy a bitching star, it was the people in the world who were the best at it, the French.
________________________________________________________________
Talon exceeded in every class of PDFAOBAWFYM, and even his teachers started to take notice.
________________________________________________________________
INTERVIEW WITH TALONSHIRES TEACHER RAYMOND PIVET, DATED 6/24/2002

Interviewer: What set Talon apart from the other bitchers in your class sir?

Mr. Pivet: Well, after class most boys would go home to their family's and bitch, bitch, & bitch. But not Talon, oh no. He would stay after class and study the fine art of bitching.
________________________________________________________________
Talon was quickly enrolled in the advanced bitching classes of PDFAOBAWFYM, excelling in all of them. He soon took part in the one class that would forever change his life. "How to bitch at Wrestlezone and single handedly piss off everyone there 101"
________________________________________________________________
INTERVIEW WITH TALONSHIRES CLASSMATE, CHARLIE SHEEN, DATED 5/4/2008

Interviewer: Now Charlie, what was it like being in the same class as Talon?

Sheen: Holy fucking fetus in my uterus man! That motherfucker was like a bitching bitcher from the planet Mars! I mean, the guy practically drank bitchs blood.
________________________________________________________________
See more at the world premiere of WZ! True Wrestlezone Story: Talon. On The WZ! Network At 8 Pm on Saturday, July 21st.

 

[GI Cake]

 

[The Talon]

I knew my talent for bitching wouldn't go unnoticed.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

I knew my talent for bitching wouldn't go unnoticed.

Never change Talon. Never change.

 

[klunderbunker]

Anyone that can give me a reason why Talon gets so much attention will get a hearty grin from me.

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

Anyone that can give me a reason why Talon gets so much attention will get a hearty grin from me.

People want a person them and their friends can hate together, Talon gives them that reason to be honest.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Anyone that can give me a reason why Talon gets so much attention will get a hearty grin from me.

Us here in the entertainment industry need someone to pick on.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

Anyone that can give me a reason why Talon gets so much attention will get a hearty grin from me.

Because one of the "well respected" members insulted him, so all of the shitty posters feel the need to try to pile it on so that they can feel like they are in the same class as those they feel are superior.

 

[Milkyway!]

Anyone that can give me a reason why Talon gets so much attention will get a hearty grin from me.

My best guess is it's the same reason awful posters always get so much attention. A bunch of ******s finally see someone they're "better" than, so they feel the need to massively bash and hate on him.

 

[klunderbunker]

Because one of the "well respected" members insulted him, so all of the shitty posters feel the need to try to pile it on so that they can feel like they are in the same class as those they feel are superior.

Which superior poster was this?

 

[Big Papa Santo]

My best guess is it's the same reason awful posters always get so much attention. A bunch of ******s finally see someone they're "better" than, so they feel the need to massively bash and hate on him.

Fuck, you discovered my motives.

 

[JGlass]

Because one of the "well respected" members insulted him, so all of the shitty posters feel the need to try to pile it on so that they can feel like they are in the same class as those they feel are superior.

You failed to mention the part where he's the worst.

 

[The Talon]

You failed to mention the part where he's the worst.

For a man who hates me so much, you sure love coming in threads about me.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

Which superior poster was this?

Not actually sure, I was just making an educated guess based on the regular mentality of this place and how these things normally start.

I'll put the blame on JGlass though.

 

[Muffin Top Merkley]

I'll take the credit for being the first guy to shit on Talon.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

I'll take the credit for being the first guy to shit on Talon.

But that wouldn't fit my description...

 

[Muffin Top Merkley]

Then myth busted.

 

[Muffin Top Merkley]

Talon.
Born James Newburn Talonshire in 1942, Talon grew up at the end of a great American era, but also at the start of a new one.
________________________________________________________________
INTERVIEW WITH TALONSHIRES MOTHER, DATED 3/19/2004

Interviewer: Ma'am, your son has grown up to become one of the most influential bitchers in American history. Where do you believe that his most famous characteristic came from?

Mrs. Talonshire: Talon, was always complaining. When we got him a puppy for Christmas he would say "Fuck that puppy" Or when we would make meals, "Fuck this shit, feed it to the horses" And that was when me and his father decided to enroll him in the Pierre D'Falu Academy Of Bitching And Whining For Young Boys, because if anyone could make our boy a bitching star, it was the people in the world who were the best at it, the French.
________________________________________________________________
Talon exceeded in every class of PDFAOBAWFYM, and even his teachers started to take notice.
________________________________________________________________
INTERVIEW WITH TALONSHIRES TEACHER RAYMOND PIVET, DATED 6/24/2002

Interviewer: What set Talon apart from the other bitchers in your class sir?

Mr. Pivet: Well, after class most boys would go home to their family's and bitch, bitch, & bitch. But not Talon, oh no. He would stay after class and study the fine art of bitching.
________________________________________________________________
Talon was quickly enrolled in the advanced bitching classes of PDFAOBAWFYM, excelling in all of them. He soon took part in the one class that would forever change his life. "How to bitch at Wrestlezone and single handedly piss off everyone there 101"
________________________________________________________________
INTERVIEW WITH TALONSHIRES CLASSMATE, CHARLIE SHEEN, DATED 5/4/2008

Interviewer: Now Charlie, what was it like being in the same class as Talon?

Sheen: Holy fucking fetus in my uterus man! That motherfucker was like a bitching bitcher from the planet Mars! I mean, the guy practically drank bitchs blood.
________________________________________________________________
See more at the world premiere of WZ! True Wrestlezone Story: Talon. On The WZ! Network At 8 Pm on Saturday, July 21st.

If you're going to hate on Talon:

1. Have an actual reason for duing so.
2. Most importantly, be funny.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

Santo is basically Super Hans except really, really, really white.

Like, drinks ranch dressing white.

 

[Pera]

I love Talon so fuck the haters.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

Permission to kill myself?

 

[Natural Selection]

Permission to kill myself?

Reluctantly granted.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

"grudgingly"?