One of the Saddest Things on the Internet

[Blue Chipper]

Craigslist missed connections. Has to be. Basically, it is a forum for users to try to speak out to and find the people that they've met/seen that they believe they have (or could have) a connection with. Anonymity + personal intimate thoughts + thirst/lust = some of the most cringe-worthy, sad stuff on the internet.


Recent evidence:

Honey I dont expect somebody like you would be on a filthy forum like this and if you were I dont know if youd remember me I drove that truck parked out front I saw you checking out baby doll I would take you anywhere in that Chevy I held the door for you I wont get into details here Im very married and I dont know your situation if nothing else know you are amazingly sexy your walk your talk if I could be so lucky

I was in the restroom with you today at work (8 - 12 - 14). I was in the first stall and you were in the second. It was about 02:35 p.m. and after you got off your phone call, I could tell you were pleasuring yourself and you were in there a long time. I was too and I wanted you to invite me over. At the very least I wish I would have said something "inviting". As you left, I tried to catch a glimpse of who you were but missed it. Email me back if you think this is you and let's have some no strings fun.

You had a pink outfit, driving a grey Taurus. You are beautiful!!!!would like to take you out, if you available.

When I was at the Kroger Gas Station today, you were pumping gas, I saw you look at me and our eyes locked for a minute then as if we were ashamed we both looked away. I noticed you kept looking back at me and I think you knew I was looking at you.. Before I knew it you had finished and got back in your car, but smiled at me as you drove away... I wish I had said atleast hello. Maybe I can get another chance soon.

I'm actually surprised at the activity that these sections have; in any given location-based missed connection section, about 10+ entries are posted a day. (That's what I observed anyway.) Some are probably troll jobs, but most of them appear creepily genuine to me.

Well, if you ever need your dose of cringe (and entertainment), you know where it's served. If you had on a small blue dress at Walmart the other day, and gazed at me sexually at the checkout, send me a PM. Thanks.

 

[The Butcher]

Was that 2:35 pm Eastern or Central?

 

[nightmare]

You were the creepy gentleman with a moustache & members only jacket sitting in the tree outside my house. I was the confused guy at the window dressed like Darkwing Duck. I think you left your binoculars and cantaloupe when you jumped down after my wife turned on the porch light. If you want your belongings back or have an Inspector Gadget costume & would like to fight crime together, come back around 830 Tuesday night.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

You were the creepy gentleman with a moustache & members only jacket sitting in the tree outside my house. I was the confused guy at the window dressed like Darkwing Duck. I think you left your binoculars and cantaloupe when you jumped down after my wife turned on the porch light. If you want your belongings back or have an Inspector Gadget costume & would like to fight crime together, come back around 830 Tuesday night.

Reminds me of the Bradford Batman who brought someone into the police station...only to get busted for burglary with the same guy he caught.

 

[nightmare]

Shut Up, Crime!!

 

[The Butcher]

I found this one particularly disturbing:

Muscly Armed Paperboy - m4m (Quahog)



Looks like there's a new paperboy on Spooner Street! I'm sure you saw me, Muscly Arms. I was the older gentleman with the cute dog. His name's Jesse, and he's real friendly. Maybe you could come over and give him a tummy rub. Or if you like popsicles, my basement's full of 'em! When you come, don't tell anyone. I won't either! Email me!

 

[Lee]

I found this one particularly disturbing:

 

[Lee]

http://newcastle.craigslist.co.uk/w4m/4612680179.html

albino wanted---
Yes, I know what the odds are. Please don't respond unless you're an albino.
If I were seeking something different, I'd be asking for it.

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

I found this one particularly disturbing:

I read that whole thing in Mr. Herbert's voice.

 

[Dirk]

Well, that's the last time I try to reconnect...

 

[JohnJohnson]

You were the cleaning lady emptying the trash as I escorted you through all of the secured areas. You had on jeans and a T-Shirt. I was the stunningly attractive security officer. As I held the door open for you, I couldn't help but notice the faint aroma of guacamole as you walked by. I'd like to meet up with you again.

 

[Blade]

God, I fucking hate Family Guy.

 

[Dirk]

I was the guy cutting a hole in the men's room cubicle. You were the guy exploring the stall next to him. My number is 555-7825.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

From the peverse...

I was on my way back from comiccon london on a Saturday in 2013, we met on the 43 bus, had a really cool chat about what we both do. You were a red head, bit freckly. study at Kings college. You said hi due to the Lightsaber i had with me. we said bye, but didnt exchange names or numbers. would like to change that.

If it was you, what course do you study? what color was my saber? who got off the bus first?

from the long hair Sith Lord

To the dark...

Well, here I am again, hoping that seeing as no one in the real world seems to give a fuck, maybe there's a chance the right person on the internet may hear my plea for help.
So who am I looking for? well a friend, a psychiatrist or practising one, maybe both, or maybe more, a little romance can make one hell of a difference.
Unless you've guessed, yes I am going through depression, while I'm not self-harming or suicidal anymore, what I am left with is an endless state of anhedonia, the state where nothing is fun or enjoyable anymore. There are one or two things I enjoy, but they are not enough to keep me from lying awake at night arguing with myself in my head over how pathetic I am.
Anyway if you think you can help me, please don't hesitate, it would be nice to know that someone out there cares.

 

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

Jeebus, and people think the British are reserved.

 

[Loveless]

Originally Posted by To the red head who noticed my lightsaber on the 43 Bus
I was on my way back from comiccon london on a Saturday in 2013, we met on the 43 bus, had a really cool chat about what we both do. You were a red head, bit freckly. study at Kings college. You said hi due to the Lightsaber i had with me. we said bye, but didnt exchange names or numbers. would like to change that.

If it was you, what course do you study? what color was my saber? who got off the bus first?

from the long hair Sith Lord

I was going to mock this thread and then I read this. I was actually at London Comiccon on that day (I met Peter Dinklage, Norman Reedus and Sarah Callies) and Im pretty sure I remember this guy.

 

[Loveless]

He was wearing a cape

 

[nightmare]

Bitches love a guy in a cape.

 

[Spidey Revivey]

I was the slender guy on the bus with a newspaper on my lap and my right hand hidden. You were the older lady across from me. You may remember when I had asked you if you wore lotion that day. Smelled like you wore lotion that day.

Respond if interested in some late night ventriloquism and ketchup packets. No strings attached.

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

This one is interesting...

To the older woman in the window

I see you lurking there occasionally. The way the moonlight hits our house up on the hill is breathtakingly romantic. It's always painful knowing I can't be there, in your arms, while I'm busy working down in the motel.

 

[The Butcher]

Guy sounds like a psycho.

 

[Blue Chipper]

This one is interesting...

Guy sounds like a psycho.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Can we please - please - stop using thirsty as a synonym for horny?

 

[Alex]

Can we please - please - stop using thirsty as a synonym for horny?

 

[Uncle Sam]

That's much better.