Jeff TRIES to cook things!

Jeff Deliverer of Mail

Money for nothin, chicks for free
Well...I often experiment with certain cooking things. I made a Big Mac dip for nachos once and ever since I've been trying to experiment with food to recreate that magic. But have failed at every turn.

Today's mediocre effort:

*Marinated Striplion Steak Surprise on a bed of heavily buttered rice*

Here's what I did, or should I say...here's how I failed.

I took a frozen Striplion Steak and dethawed it in the microwave. I poked it several times with a fork when it was thawed. Then I made a marinade that only a madman would throw together:

Mazola Oil (three cups!)
Frank's Red Hot (ten dashes)
Tons of salt and pepper
Garlic salt, lots of it
Worchestershire sauce (Not much, just a dab)
Parmesan cheese (The real stuff, not cheap plastic can stuff)
Zesty Italian dressing (Lots of it)
Soya Sauce
Italiano spices
Browning Sauce (For that wonderful black color that people love when eating)

Mixed it well in a glass loaf dish. Threw in steak and wrapped it all in plastic. Let it sit in the fridge for 2 hours. Flipped the steak. Let it sit for another 1.5 hours.

Cooked a couple cups of rice, put it to one side to stay warm. Pre heated oven to 425 and threw the sauced up steak in a turkey roasting dish and went to cut my hair for 25 minutes.

Flipped steak then waited another 10 minutes. Took it out and it was still slightly red in the middle so I got worried and fried it a little on a pan. I overcooked the fuck out of it.

Chopped it up and threw it on a huge bed of rice. It kind of reminded me of something that might taste good but not quite there yet.

The rice was perfect but the steak was overcooked and the Zesty Italian Dressing overpowered the taste of the steak. Almost though....almost.
 
This title is misleading. I thought you were trying to cook things, not food. Was almost ready to challenge you to deep fry a pillow. What a disappointment.
 
Flipped steak then waited another 10 minutes. Took it out and it was still slightly red in the middle so I got worried and fried it a little on a pan. I overcooked the fuck out of it.
With steak, it's not a big deal to have a pink center. Unlike ground beef, which is processed and can introduce undesirable elements, strips of steak are just cut straight from the cow and packaged. In fact, steak usually tastes better when you don't cook it well done. Also, if you're going to thaw steak, there are better ways to do it than putting it in the microwave.

And if you ever want to treat yourself, get a decent ribeye steak, marinade it overnight (Lawry's marinade will work, we like the teriyaki) and then grill it. So, so good.
 
If blood doesn't come out then you're doing it wrong. Good advice for many things in life, including steak.

I'm also super not down with marinades for decent cuts. If you've got something lower quality, or been saddled with medallions by a sociopathic butcher then it's all good, though personally I favour a dry spice rub instead (salt, pepper, paprika and whatever takes your fancy), but if I've got a quality cut then I want to to taste like steak, not sauce.

On a steak related note, am I the only one to have found fillet to be a profoundly disappointing cut of meat for the price? If you're not chopping it up to do tartare then it feels like you're paying extra for a cut of meat that won't be consistently cooked throughout. Possibly it's better for those who enjoy their meat well done, and while I'm generally in favour of punishing bad people, I do feel like less of a fuss could maybe be made over it.
 
If blood doesn't come out then you're doing it wrong. Good advice for many things in life, including steak.

I concur. Medium rare is my golden target for steak. Even a little bloody isn't bad either.

I'm also super not down with marinades for decent cuts. If you've got something lower quality, or been saddled with medallions by a sociopathic butcher then it's all good, though personally I favour a dry spice rub instead (salt, pepper, paprika and whatever takes your fancy), but if I've got a quality cut then I want to to taste like steak, not sauce.

Also concur with this. I hate marinated steaks. I use dry rubs, local grocery store here has some pretty good mixes of them with different spices. Some give a really nice kick, and with dry rubs they create a nice crust if you will on the top of the steak.

On a steak related note, am I the only one to have found fillet to be a profoundly disappointing cut of meat for the price? If you're not chopping it up to do tartare then it feels like you're paying extra for a cut of meat that won't be consistently cooked throughout. Possibly it's better for those who enjoy their meat well done, and while I'm generally in favour of punishing bad people, I do feel like less of a fuss could maybe be made over it.

Fillet is overrated. Give me a ribeye, T-Bone, or Porterhouse any day of the week over fillet.
 
I like it when it can still moo.

T-bone and Porterhouse are much less of a thing over here. You'll generally only see them if you go to a speciality butcher. I think it all gets sliced up for Sirloin. Ribeye is far and away my favourite cut though. I avoided it for years because it looks like shit, but I got one of those dry ice crates with half a cow in it for a birthday a few years back and was quickly made a convert.
 
I like it when it can still moo.

Maybe half a moo for me.

T-bone and Porterhouse are much less of a thing over here. You'll generally only see them if you go to a speciality butcher. I think it all gets sliced up for Sirloin. Ribeye is far and away my favourite cut though. I avoided it for years because it looks like shit, but I got one of those dry ice crates with half a cow in it for a birthday a few years back and was quickly made a convert.

We actually butcher the cow ourselves. My wife's aunt and uncle raise cattle so every year around January or so we head out to the middle of nowhere (and considering my state is nothing but middle of nowhere, that's saying something), and we cut up an entire beef. Normally we take about a quarter of it, so I have a chest freezer filled to the top on one half with hamburger meat, steaks, roasts, and sausage. That will normally last us a year and then some. We butchered later then usual last year, and butchered again not 8 months later so way earlier then usual, so now I'm well stocked up on all the steaks I could want, cut to my preference. The plus side is my wife prefers simple round steaks (I do not know why) so I get all the ribeyes, T-Bones, and porterhouses to myself. It's so much cheaper than buying directly from the store, even if it does take one day of my life away each year to butcher and process it ourselves.

Add in it's from a small local farm, it's all grass fed too which is even better.
 
If blood doesn't come out then you're doing it wrong. Good advice for many things in life, including steak.
I don't mind steak being more rare, but I like steak warm. Medium is usually where I go.

I'm also super not down with marinades for decent cuts. If you've got something lower quality, or been saddled with medallions by a sociopathic butcher then it's all good, though personally I favour a dry spice rub instead (salt, pepper, paprika and whatever takes your fancy), but if I've got a quality cut then I want to to taste like steak, not sauce.
Totally understandable. I've never really found a good blend of seasonings that knocks my socks off for steak, but the teriyaki marinade makes the ribeye tender and juicy.
Fillet is overrated. Give me a ribeye, T-Bone, or Porterhouse any day of the week over fillet.
I literally have T-Bones frozen in my freezer and I still buy ribeyes.

Of course that says far more about my laziness than it does anything about t-bones.

I like it when it can still moo.

T-bone and Porterhouse are much less of a thing over here. You'll generally only see them if you go to a speciality butcher. I think it all gets sliced up for Sirloin. Ribeye is far and away my favourite cut though. I avoided it for years because it looks like shit, but I got one of those dry ice crates with half a cow in it for a birthday a few years back and was quickly made a convert.
Where is "over here"? It's always kind of been my impression thick cuts of steak are not as popular in Europe as it is in America, but I admit complete ignorance on the subject.
We actually butcher the cow ourselves. My wife's aunt and uncle raise cattle so every year around January or so we head out to the middle of nowhere (and considering my state is nothing but middle of nowhere, that's saying something), and we cut up an entire beef.
We do the same thing in January, only with pigs. The family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) purchase a number of pigs (this year we had 3) and the first pig we slaughter is the community hog for the weekend. So we kill it, skin it, cut it and within a couple of hours, begin eating it. The other two pigs get split amongst those who want/purchased them. This year my wife and I ended with a few packages of bacon, several packages of sausage, some ham steak, pork steak and pork chops.

It's a great way to do it if you have the time, space and equipment.
 
The occasional marinated steak is alright, but like Gelg said it is usually best when they are well done. My girlfriend's mom invites us over for dinner two or three times a month and they usually have steak those nights. They cook it to hell, takes all the natural flavor away, so the marinade she uses helps. She had never actually had a medium rare steak until we met. Her mom's boyfriend is like super afraid of eating anything but well done meat. On her 21st, they took us out to dinner and since I was getting free food and drinks I ordered a burger, medium rare, to keep their cost down. He was like "You are gonna get sick from that not being cooked all the way." Like okay Rick, you sit over there with your blackened steak and your Miller Lite and let me enjoy this in peace.
 
The occasional marinated steak is alright, but like Gelg said it is usually best when they are well done. My girlfriend's mom invites us over for dinner two or three times a month and they usually have steak those nights. They cook it to hell, takes all the natural flavor away, so the marinade she uses helps. She had never actually had a medium rare steak until we met. Her mom's boyfriend is like super afraid of eating anything but well done meat. On her 21st, they took us out to dinner and since I was getting free food and drinks I ordered a burger, medium rare, to keep their cost down. He was like "You are gonna get sick from that not being cooked all the way." Like okay Rick, you sit over there with your blackened steak and your Miller Lite and let me enjoy this in peace.
In fairness, you should be very careful if you eat hamburger medium rare. :)

But, while I don't drink, my understanding is that anyone who drinks Miller Lite has very little room to insult others...
 
In fairness, you should be very careful if you eat hamburger medium rare. :)

But, while I don't drink, my understanding is that anyone who drinks Miller Lite has very little room to insult others...

Yeah, it can be iffy. Most places I've been to will check the temp and make sure it hits that magic 155.

I'm not a big beer drinker myself, but yeah. It isn't like you are going to go in some biker bar and see the Miller Lite tap flowing all night.
 
Where is "over here"? It's always kind of been my impression thick cuts of steak are not as popular in Europe as it is in America, but I admit complete ignorance on the subject.

UK these days.

I'm not sure it's a case of thickness. If I had to guess, I'd say it might be an aversion to buying beef on the bone dating back to our BSE days (You still don't see boned beef in supermarkets) but since I was like, 4, when that happened I wasn't paying too much attention to the meat industry, so its only a theory.

The popular cuts of steak in the UK and rump, sirloin (by a massive margin) and shit like frying steak or medallions. 90% of what you see outside of butchers will be those cuts. Fillet is less popular due to the price, and ribeye is less popular for reasons I don't understand, probably starting with it looking like ass, but both still have a presence.

T-bone and Porterhouse you're only likely to come across in a restaurant, or if you go out of your way to look for them.
 
UK these days.

I'm not sure it's a case of thickness. If I had to guess, I'd say it might be an aversion to buying beef on the bone dating back to our BSE days (You still don't see boned beef in supermarkets) but since I was like, 4, when that happened I wasn't paying too much attention to the meat industry, so its only a theory.

The popular cuts of steak in the UK and rump, sirloin (by a massive margin) and shit like frying steak or medallions. 90% of what you see outside of butchers will be those cuts. Fillet is less popular due to the price, and ribeye is less popular for reasons I don't understand, probably starting with it looking like ass, but both still have a presence.

T-bone and Porterhouse you're only likely to come across in a restaurant, or if you go out of your way to look for them.

Sirloin is fine I guess. To me it's always been the fallback when ribeye is too expensive at a restaurant, and that's the only time I ever really order it. Really depends on the place, some restaurants I've been to can grill up a fantastic sirloin, and others it's way too tough even when I request medium rare.
 
Since I'm going down this route, apparently cuts of meat are a bit different between the UK and the US. What we consider a T-Bone or Porterhouse isn't the same cut as in the UK.

193563a5b64e50133231e7364572d7cc--cuts-of-beef-beef-cuts-chart.jpg


T-Bones in the US are cut from the Tender Loin and Short loin from ours whereas UK it's just from what they consider the sirloin. Right around the same area but it looks like the US has a bit more precise cutting areas for the T-Bones.

If what I'm reading is right, and I understand it, our T-Bones/Porterhouses have essentially the fillet mignon side and strip steak on the other. In the UK it has the strip steak (or UK sirloin) without the fillet mignon portion. So that might be why T-Bones here are more valued compared to their UK counterpart.

Edit: And some UK cooking sites mention the fillet part of the T-Bone so we can axe that whole part above.

I've done way too much research on this at 12:30 AM.
 
Sirloin is fine I guess. To me it's always been the fallback when ribeye is too expensive at a restaurant, and that's the only time I ever really order it. Really depends on the place, some restaurants I've been to can grill up a fantastic sirloin, and others it's way too tough even when I request medium rare.

In my experience the chain restaurants in my area, TGI Fridays, Texas Roadhouse, and O'Charleys, tend to fuck up sirloin, but the locally owned restaurants where you have to pay a few dollars more usually do a passable job. Still prefer my dad to do it. I never could pick up the art of grilling a good sirloin.

Not that I have much practice, but I do better with smaller cuts at this point.
 
And I may get shit for this, but am I the only one that doesn't care for brisket? Like at all? Maybe it's the few times I've had it that it wasn't done well, but I just don't care for it. Like it's too dry for me.
 
You have to cook it correctly to soften it up. When cooked properly, it is fine, not my first choice, but fine. The problem is that there is so much connective tissue and the cow uses that muscle so often it is crazy tough and often people cook it too long and dry it out. They try to amend that by covering it in BBQ.
 
Sirloin is fine I guess. To me it's always been the fallback when ribeye is too expensive at a restaurant, and that's the only time I ever really order it. Really depends on the place, some restaurants I've been to can grill up a fantastic sirloin, and others it's way too tough even when I request medium rare.
I feel the same way about sirloin. First of all, steak is steak and I'll always love steak. But I'd take ribeye over sirloin any day of the week.
And I may get shit for this, but am I the only one that doesn't care for brisket? Like at all? Maybe it's the few times I've had it that it wasn't done well, but I just don't care for it. Like it's too dry for me.
If brisket is done right, it is fabulous and not at all dry. My dad smoked a brisket for my wedding rehearsal dinner and...


latest
 
In my experience the chain restaurants in my area, TGI Fridays, Texas Roadhouse, and O'Charleys, tend to fuck up sirloin, but the locally owned restaurants where you have to pay a few dollars more usually do a passable job. Still prefer my dad to do it. I never could pick up the art of grilling a good sirloin.

Not that I have much practice, but I do better with smaller cuts at this point.

I just don't order steak in restaurants. It's probably different in the US where 'steakhouses' are apparently a common thing - but eating out I find my steak is almost always overdone.

My sister is a chef, and explained her theory to me once. Loads of people ask for a rare/medium rare steak because it's the socially done thing - but then they get squeamish that it's got all this pink stuff inside and send it back for more cooking. It's more efficient to just cook everyone's steak one level higher than they asked for. People might send a steak back to be cooked more, but nobody's going to demand a whole new one if their's is a tad overdone.
 
I feel the same way about sirloin. First of all, steak is steak and I'll always love steak. But I'd take ribeye over sirloin any day of the week.

My dad and I both agree, if we could eat steak every day of our lives, we'd do it in a heartbeat. Like I said on Discord, I'll go grill in 11 degree weather if I must.

If brisket is done right, it is fabulous and not at all dry. My dad smoked a brisket for my wedding rehearsal dinner and...


latest

That's kind of what I'm thinking, I've just never had good brisket. However if I've tried it enough times and it's failed every time to impress me, it's kind of hard to keep trying to find that magic. That being said my brother does have a proper smoker so maybe he'll cook one up one day that will be the ticket.
 
When it comes to steak

2uf6ngh.jpg


:icon_mrgreen:

Cant stand well done. Lots of places do it that way around here but to me its just burned and dry. Medium to medium well is just fine. Guy at my burger joint calls it "English level" of burgers because they dont like it well done but just about. Dunno if its true.
 

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