Is Underage Sex As Bad As It Seems?

[Reflection]

other words she letting the most important person in the world be sexually abused by an older man because she wants to remain her son's friend.
(and)
A friend of mine acted like this mother did and was a friend to her two kids instead of being a parent. She set no boundaries and let them do whatever they wanted.

I think you missed the part where Janine made it clear to 21 (let's call him that) that he can't have sex with her son anymore, failing which, she wouldn't allow them to see each other again (I'm sure she would do more than that, but that much was enough as a warning). She is not giving them a free reign at all. Here are Phenom's words:

So Janine said no more sex. They can continue to talk and hang out but no sex. He has a curfew of 9 and the first time that it's broken, they will no longer be allowed to see one another. He promised to abide by her rules and said thanks and left.

And that was the main issue, wasn't it? The underage sex part. What's done, cannot be undone. But she has tried to prevent it from happening again in the future, by using minimal force and not sending someone to jail and putting the "pedophile" tag on him for the rest of his life. In her first attempt at resolving the matter, she has taken the right approach, in my opinion. The ball is in 21's court. If he can live with it and follow the rules, good for everyone. If he can't, he will be responsible for what will happen to him, because now Janine will be very alert, and she won't take a betrayal too well.

That's where you are wrong, you do have a dog in this race, you know about it. Everyone here is wrong. The kid for lying, the other guy for accepting his lie and not doing anything about it when he found out the truth and the mother for doing nothing period.

Primarily, DJ lying about his age... because he probably knew that a good adult wouldn't want to knowingly have a physical relationship with a 14-year old... and his BF's age, because he knew that a good mom wouldn't allow that. That was the start of everything else.
21 could do only one other thing when he found out, which is break-up with DJ, but different people think differently. He thought with his heart and not his head, and he took that risk. Not for the sex, I'm sure, but that's the first thing most people will see.
As for Janine, we have to consider how much time she had to think about all this- between her conversation with Phenom, calling 21 to confront him, and 21 showing her that FB post.
She had two ideal options- 1. To end it right there, and send her son for counselling, like some people have suggested, and 2. Set those rules and keep a stricter alternative in her hand. She chose the second option.

The authorities should be notified about this.

The reason I don't share this opinion (yet) is because it would ruin many things in 21's life. She can go for that option whenever she feels that 21 has not kept his end of the agreement. Maybe I'm too compassionate, but right now, I don't think he deserves that. The first attempt should be to try and solve the matter with minimal damage and outside influence, and that's what she did.

 

[Navi]

I think you missed the part where Janine made it clear to 21 (let's call him that) that he can't have sex with her son anymore, failing which, she wouldn't allow them to see each other again (I'm sure she would do more than that, but that much was enough as a warning). She is not giving them a free reign at all. Here are Phenom's words:

First of all this should never have been happening in the first place, and for what reason would a 21 year old man have for hanging around with a 14 year old other than to have sex. Considering that's the whole reason they got together in the first place.

The conversation should have gone like this. "Look you son of a bitch, you have exactly one hour to get the hell out of town before the cops come knocking at your door." Then she should have hit him with whatever she brought with her, and made sure he stayed unconscious till the cops showed up.

That's what I would have done, but then I'm just like that.

And that was the main issue, wasn't it? The underage sex part. What's done, cannot be undone. But she has tried to prevent it from happening again in the future, by using minimal force and not sending someone to jail and putting the "pedophile" tag on him for the rest of his life. In her first attempt at resolving the matter, she has taken the right approach, in my opinion. The ball is in 21's court. If he can live with it and follow the rules, good for everyone. If he can't, he will be responsible for what will happen to him, because now Janine will be very alert, and she won't take a betrayal too well.

I'm sorry but they already had sex, so the 21 year old is a pedophile. He doesn't have to be tagged, he is one. Anytime a man or woman for that matter has sex with someone under the age of consent, they are a pedophile, a sex offender, the scum of the earth. These are the people that should be thrown in with the general population of the prison system and let them take what's coming to them.

Sorry went on a rant there.

Why are you talking about these people like you know them personally? We only know what the OP is saying, and for some reason the story doesn't seem right to me. There is something off about it. I don't know any parent who would put up with this, seriously I don't.

Primarily, DJ lying about his age... because he probably knew that a good adult wouldn't want to knowingly have a physical relationship with a 14-year old... and his BF's age, because he knew that a good mom wouldn't allow that. That was the start of everything else.
21 could do only one other thing when he found out, which is break-up with DJ, but different people think differently. He thought with his heart and not his head, and he took that risk. Not for the sex, I'm sure, but that's the first thing most people will see.
As for Janine, we have to consider how much time she had to think about all this- between her conversation with Phenom, calling 21 to confront him, and 21 showing her that FB post.
She had two ideal options- 1. To end it right there, and send her son for counselling, like some people have suggested, and 2. Set those rules and keep a stricter alternative in her hand. She chose the second option.

The 21 year old is not a good adult, he is a pedophile, a man who has sex with kids, how is that good? This whole thing is ridiculous and people don't put this kind of shit on Facebook. WTF Call the police, have him arrested. I don't care if the kid lied. A 21 year old man knows his own body, and he knows what his body was like at 14. He knew that this kid was 14 and don't try to tell me he didn't. He was just hoping he wouldn't get caught. Well he did, now it's time to take what's coming too you.

The reason I don't share this opinion (yet) is because it would ruin many things in 21's life. She can go for that option whenever she feels that 21 has not kept his end of the agreement. Maybe I'm too compassionate, but right now, I don't think he deserves that. The first attempt should be to try and solve the matter with minimal damage and outside influence, and that's what she did.

Who gives a shit about ruining his life, he's ruined his own life. You know what, wait till your older, wait till you have kids of your own, wait till someone tries to target your young son or daughter, and let's see how you feel then. I can almost guarantee you 100% that you will not feel the way you do now. Becoming a parent changes you, and you want nothing more than to protect your child. Fuck this 21 year old, he took a risk and it didn't pay off for him. Send him to jail and let him explain to the rapist's and murderer's there he couldn't tell the difference between a 14 year old boy's body and his own. Let them see through his bullshit and take him to task for it.

 

[Reflection]

That's what I would have done, but then I'm just like that.

That would have been a knee-jerk reaction to the matter. And things like that, that you do on a whim, you often regret it later. So, I don't think that would have been the best approach, especially when you consider that it's your son that lied to his BF about his age, it's your son that lied to you about his BF's age, and it's you that didn't care about confirming it with the guy.

I'm sorry but they already had sex, so the 21 year old is a pedophile. He doesn't have to be tagged, he is one.

Well, yeah... but unknowingly a pedophile, that's what I was trying to say. Now, the grey area is what happened in that two week period after he found out. Maybe it's 21 that needs the therapy more.

Sorry went on a rant there.

No problem. I go on rants all the time.

Why are you talking about these people like you know them personally? We only know what the OP is saying, and for some reason the story doesn't seem right to me. There is something off about it. I don't know any parent who would put up with this, seriously I don't.

Actually, I'm giving them the benefit of doubt because I don't know them personally. It is easier to read something online and arrive to a negative judgement... But that's the thing, we are not in their position. It's easy to say that 21 is a scum of the earth that is still in this relationship because he wants the underage sex, and that he should be in jail. But we know only so much about them, and pretty much we're basing our arguments on what we think is the case. Ultimately, you are going with the belief that they are bad people who should be brought to justice, and I'm going with the belief that they are good people who deserve another chance, so there's that disagreement.

A 21 year old man knows his own body, and he knows what his body was like at 14. He knew that this kid was 14 and don't try to tell me he didn't. He was just hoping he wouldn't get caught. Well he did, now it's time to take what's coming too you.

That's something I thought about as well. An 18-year old should have a stubble and a coarse voice, amongst couple of other things, but it's not impossible that a 14-year old has developed enough to seem like an 18-year old.
It might seem like I'm just saying anything to defend the guy, but I'm not.
If that's his motive, it will come to him soon enough.

You know what, wait till your older, wait till you have kids of your own, wait till someone tries to target your young son or daughter, and let's see how you feel then. I can almost guarantee you 100% that you will not feel the way you do now. Becoming a parent changes you, and you want nothing more than to protect your child.

Ah... maybe you are right. Maybe I would have ended it then and there as well, especially with the warning that "if I see you near him again, I'll inform the police." But I still don't think that Janine's decision was a mistake, or that 21 should have been handed over right there. Time will tell... I sure as hell hope I won't have to deal with a situation like this.

Edit: A person asked me via rep that why am I advocating this garbage...I'm not advocating anything. It's just that there is often more to the story than what seems apparent; what the law will see and what the society will see. That is something I've been trying to express. Now, I'm sorry if you don't like it, and I'm sorry if it seems like something else to you... But that's it, you know, that's all I can say.

 

[SSJPhenom]

I just want to get everyone's take on another issue and since it also has to do with child maturity or lack there of, I thought that I would just post it in this thread since the two or somewhat similar.

I was watching Making a Murderer on Netflix last night. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it so I'll try not to use great detail. The nephew of the main person in the story, a 16 year old, comes forward and, because he's not to bright, wants to please adults, and was ultimately coerced; confesses to several awful crimes. Of course, he is treated as an adult in court.

Everybody here seems to be on the same page that no matter how mature an underage person may act, no matter how mature they may look, no matter if their actions are what caused them to get into situations involving adults; they're still kids. You're right. Now when I think about it and picture my sister in DJ's place, I know that it's something I wouldn't stand for. No matter if she hates me or not. So if these kids are still immature and too young to make those kinds of decisions, what about when children are tried as adults? I've read about a case where a child as young as 11 was tried as an adult for a crime and ultimately was going to spend the rest of his life behind bars. I find that incredibly sad. For a poor decision or mistake or sometimes accident that these children make as a teenager, they're going to have their entire lives taken away? If they're too young and immature for sexual relationships; aren't they too young and immature to fully comprehend the gravity of their actions. Now don't get me wrong, some kids have mental instabilities or are deranged and should be off the streets, but for the most part they're still growing and learning and some shouldn't have their entire lives taken away from them, should they?

Let me know your opinions.

 

[Con T.]

That would have been a knee-jerk reaction to the matter. And things like that, that you do on a whim, you often regret it later. So, I don't think that would have been the best approach, especially when you consider that it's your son that lied to his BF about his age, it's your son that lied to you about his BF's age, and it's you that didn't care about confirming it with the guy.

It wouldn't have been a knee jerk reaction; I think any human with two functioning brain cells would call the police on the man that had sex with her underage child.

I'm well aware that the kid lied, and I'm sure the kid lied about DJ's age to his mother. Funny thing about kids; they lie. A lot. They're kids, and they're going to do things later on in life that they'll regret.

You know who I expect to act more mature in this fucking case? The fucking adults. That means the 21 year old boyfriend gets the fuck out of the 14 year old's life, and the mother does everything in her power to get the boyfriend out of his son's life. The fact that the mother still lets the boyfriend around is fucking appalling; the fact that the boyfriend doesn't realize that what he is doing is wrong is just as bad.

And the fact that you're defending them...well, if I'm being perfectly honest, it's actually about par for the course, for you.

Well, yeah... but unknowingly a pedophile, that's what I was trying to say. Now, the grey area is what happened in that two week period after he found out. Maybe it's 21 that needs the therapy more.

Maybe? Fucking maybe? Are you serious right now?

Let's just go over the facts here, shall we?

Boyfriend is aware of DJ's age. Boyfriend knows how old DJ actually is. Boyfriend decides to maintain relationship for another two weeks with DJ.

You know what that makes the Boyfriend? A pedophile. Someone knowingly (again, because boyfriend knows how old DJ is, he even said so much to DJ's mother) committing the act of pedophilia. Get out of here with this unknowing bullshit.

Of fucking course he needs therapy. I don't know how you could possibly think otherwise.

Oh, that's right; you're Smark Madden. The guy who thinks that we should all just forget the swastika stood for the deaths of millions.

Actually, I'm giving them the benefit of doubt because I don't know them personally. It is easier to read something online and arrive to a negative judgement... But that's the thing, we are not in their position. It's easy to say that 21 is a scum of the earth that is still in this relationship because he wants the underage sex, and that he should be in jail. But we know only so much about them, and pretty much we're basing our arguments on what we think is the case. Ultimately, you are going with the belief that they are bad people who should be brought to justice, and I'm going with the belief that they are good people who deserve another chance, so there's that disagreement.

You know why it's easy to say? Because only rubes with no sense of understanding of the law, biology, and ethics would say that what is going on is ok.

Oh, wait, Smark Madden....never mind, carry on.

To me, Boyfriend's second chance came and went; he had a chance to leave the fourteen year old the minute he learned DJ was fourteen. He didn't do it. Everything from here on out is straight up pedophilia, and there is very little room for this benefit of the doubt. He eliminated said room for doubt when he had a two week window to do the ethical thing, and break off his relationship with a fourteen year old child.

That's something I thought about as well. An 18-year old should have a stubble and a coarse voice, amongst couple of other things, but it's not impossible that a 14-year old has developed enough to seem like an 18-year old.
It might seem like I'm just saying anything to defend the guy, but I'm not.
If that's his motive, it will come to him soon enough.

Why does any of this fucking matter? Boyfriend knows how old DJ is now. He knows that DJ is fourteen years old. This isn't an issue of "seems" any more; this is an issue of what actually is. And what we have here is a case of a 21 year old man having sex with a 14 year old boy, knowingly.

I mean, you can ahead and look for grey area as much as you want here. But doing so makes you look like an absolute dolt.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Aren't those usually cases involving clear vile murders and not something less black and white as sex?

If so, that is my answer. If you have a specific case that is less straight forward than maybe there is room for discussion. Otherwise I find the situations mutually exclusive.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

It wouldn't have been a knee jerk reaction; I think any human with two functioning brain cells would call the police on the man that had sex with her underage child.

I'm well aware that the kid lied, and I'm sure the kid lied about DJ's age to his mother. Funny thing about kids; they lie. A lot. They're kids, and they're going to do things later on in life that they'll regret.

You know who I expect to act more mature in this fucking case? The fucking adults. That means the 21 year old boyfriend gets the fuck out of the 14 year old's life, and the mother does everything in her power to get the boyfriend out of his son's life. The fact that the mother still lets the boyfriend around is fucking appalling; the fact that the boyfriend doesn't realize that what he is doing is wrong is just as bad.

And the fact that you're defending them...well, if I'm being perfectly honest, it's actually about par for the course, for you.




Maybe? Fucking maybe? Are you serious right now?

Let's just go over the facts here, shall we?

Boyfriend is aware of DJ's age. Boyfriend knows how old DJ actually is. Boyfriend decides to maintain relationship for another two weeks with DJ.

You know what that makes the Boyfriend? A pedophile. Someone knowingly (again, because boyfriend knows how old DJ is, he even said so much to DJ's mother) committing the act of pedophilia. Get out of here with this unknowing bullshit.

Of fucking course he needs therapy. I don't know how you could possibly think otherwise.

Oh, that's right; you're Smark Madden. The guy who thinks that we should all just forget the swastika stood for the deaths of millions.




You know why it's easy to say? Because only rubes with no sense of understanding of the law, biology, and ethics would say that what is going on is ok.

Oh, wait, Smark Madden....never mind, carry on.

To me, Boyfriend's second chance came and went; he had a chance to leave the fourteen year old the minute he learned DJ was fourteen. He didn't do it. Everything from here on out is straight up pedophilia, and there is very little room for this benefit of the doubt. He eliminated said room for doubt when he had a two week window to do the ethical thing, and break off his relationship with a fourteen year old child.



Why does any of this fucking matter? Boyfriend knows how old DJ is now. He knows that DJ is fourteen years old. This isn't an issue of "seems" any more; this is an issue of what actually is. And what we have here is a case of a 21 year old man having sex with a 14 year old boy, knowingly.

I mean, you can ahead and look for grey area as much as you want here. But doing so makes you look like an absolute dolt.

Where was it established that DJ and the man had sex after it was revealed to the man that DJ was 14. I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm just not sure where it was confirmed that it happened that you seem so convinced of.

 

[Con T.]

Where was it established that DJ and the man had sex after it was revealed to the man that DJ was 14. I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm just not sure where it was confirmed that it happened that you seem so convinced of.

Then came the question, do you love him? The boyfriend said yes and to throw another aspersion against DJ, the boyfriend thought DJ was 18 until about 2 weeks ago when someone posted something about DJ on Facebook. Of course he said that it was too late then, he had already fell in love.

I'm sure you could point out that nowhere there does it say that DJ and Boyfriend had sex. And pending your willingness to lend the benefit of the doubt, you could look at it that way. Of course, I could also point out that this is what I said;

Boyfriend is aware of DJ's age. Boyfriend knows how old DJ actually is. Boyfriend decides to maintain relationship for another two weeks with DJ.

I mention sex once, yes. But sure, let's assume that the two cut off the sexual activity between the two weeks of Boyfriend knowing DJ's actual age and the confrontation with the mother. It's still the person who had sex with a minor still hanging around with said minor. A relationship clearly still exists between the 21 year old and the 14 year old that he had sex with.

Of course, that would be under the assumption that they cut off all sexual activity with one another. And it depends on how willing you are to lend the benefit of the doubt.

So, just how willing are you?

 

[George Steele's Barber]

I'm sure you could point out that nowhere there does it say that DJ and Boyfriend had sex.

So I pointed out a fact.

And pending your willingness to lend the benefit of the doubt, you could look at it that way.

No benefit of the doubt at all. I'm just not shitting on Smark Madden based on something I assume. Something I would hope you would take more seriously.

Of course, I could also point out that this is what I said;



I mention sex once, yes.

Don't be a dick and only quote one paragraph. I'm not an idiot. You call the man a pedophile. Now, first off I don't think you or Smark knows what pedophilia is or what makes someone a pedofile but I'm pretty sure that calling the guy a pedofile implies that the man had sex with a 14 year old knowingly.

But sure, let's assume that the two cut off the sexual activity between the two weeks of Boyfriend knowing DJ's actual age and the confrontation with the mother. It's still the person who had sex with a minor still hanging around with said minor. A relationship clearly still exists between the 21 year old and the 14 year old that he had sex with.

Of course, that would be under the assumption that they cut off all sexual activity with one another. And it depends on how willing you are to lend the benefit of the doubt.

So, just how willing are you?

All I know is that if I learned that I had sex with a minor I would be scared out of my mind and not know what to do. Is it so hard to believe that DJ will go to the police if the man abandons him? There are reasonable explanations behind the adults actions in this situation beyond "call the cops" and "apply the chastity belt". Therapy is probably a good start.

 

[Con T.]

So I pointed out a fact.

You're pointing to an assumption. Big difference. Just like you're playing the "gotcha" card of my assumption that continued to have sex after those two weeks, you're assuming that they broke off all connection.

Which, fine. But I'd expect that my assumption is more correct. If Boyfriend admits to loving DJ, and DJ enjoys being around Boyfriend, are we really going to assume that they cut off all physical ties?

Because if you are, then no, you aren't an idiot. But you are being fairly naïve. For the record;

No benefit of the doubt at all.

If I don't know what pedophilia means, I'd process that you get the concept of the benefit of the doubt. Because whether or by you realize it, this is the benefit of the doubt.

All I know is that if I learned that I had sex with a minor I would be scared out of my mind and not know what to do.

This is the benefit of the doubt. You're making the assumption that Boyfriend did the ethical thing and cut all ties, because of the revelation of DJ's age. That is the embodiment of benefit of the doubt. I'd imagine you'd have conflict about being around DJ. Pardon me for not buying Boyfriend isn't exactly
Conflicted

 

[George Steele's Barber]

You're pointing to an assumption.

No, I'm pointing out the fact that at no point did Phenom say that the boy and the man had any sexual relations after the man had knowledge of the boy"a age. The boy and the man having sex at this point is no more than your fantasy (pun intended).

Big difference. Just like you're playing the "gotcha" card of my assumption that continued to have sex after those two weeks, you're assuming that they broke off all connection.

Dumbass, I'm not assuming that. I'm just stating that the source of the information (Phenom) has not provided us with whether or not that is the case.

Which, fine. But I'd expect that my assumption is more correct. If Boyfriend admits to loving DJ, and DJ enjoys being around Boyfriend, are we really going to assume that they cut off all physical ties?

No, but shitting on Smark Madden and assuming that the man is a pedophile so vigorously and confidently is more stupid than anything Smark Madden (i hope you were not assuming that I am defending you Smark) has said.

Because if you are, then no, you aren't an idiot. But you are being fairly naïve. For the record;

I have made no assumption. This is far too serious of a topic to make assumptions. I hope you and others are more mindful in the real world when making such serious allegations. I hope you realize that if after all your accusations, name calling, and aggrandizing that the truth turns out to show that you are wrong you are punishing future victims and making their situations that much harder Chicken Little.

If I don't know what pedophilia means, I'd process that you get the concept of the benefit of the doubt. Because whether or by you realize it, this is the benefit of the doubt.

No, again. I'm saying you don't know and I don't either.

This is the benefit of the doubt. You're making the assumption that Boyfriend did the ethical thing and cut all ties, because of the revelation of DJ's age.

Where did I say that? And after "abusing" someone is the ethical thing to do abandon them too? I'm saying there is nothing coming from Phenom that tells us what connection the boy had with the man after the man found out he was a boy.

That is the embodiment of benefit of the doubt. I'd imagine you'd have conflict about being around DJ. Pardon me for not buying Boyfriend isn't exactly
Conflicted

Again, fantasize about men having sex with boys all you want there is nothing in this thread that states that they had sex after the truth came out.

That all being said, it is very important that the mom finds out what happened in those two weeks to help determine what to do going forward. But I'm not giving her the benefit of the doubt that she would realize that this matters.

 

[MrMojoRisin]

It's easier to be more cut and dried about it where its a young boy and a man. Where it's a hetero relationship however the waters do get more murky...

No it's not more murky when it's a hetero relationship.

It's still wrong!

The story with the 21 year old boyfriend and 14 year old DJ reminds me of something that happened to me when I was younger.

When I was 17, I started going out with a girl who'd told me she was 15, going on 16. A little young, but nothing horrible. We were only together a few weeks, but I was over at her house a few times, met her mom, and the mom seemed to like and approve of me. We didn't go to the same school... she told me that she went to a private school, but was thinking of transferring to my school the next year (it was Spring so we were in the 2nd semester). We never did have sex. She wanted to right away... I actually was the one who wanted to wait. Sounds weird, but at the time I'd been one night stand guy for a while, and this was the first actual girlfriend I'd had in probably a year. I thought I'd take the time and do it right, instead of falling back into the normal one and done routine.

Like I said, we're only together for a few weeks, but got along great. Then I find out... from her neighbor of all things, who had been very surprised to see a young guy in a car pick this girl up the day before. She was only 13 years old. It wasn't a private school she went to. It was an elementary school. She wasn't transferring to my high school the next year. She was starting there after she graduated from Grade 8.

What did I do? Unlike this 21 year old guy who decided it was too late because he was already in love with a 14 year old... I called her out on her lie and broke it off with her immediately. I am forever grateful to that neighbor who didn't decide to mind his own business and saved me from what could have resulted in having my life ruined by a kid who thought she was more mature than she actually was. I never saw her again, but from what I'd hear once and a while about her... things never went that well with her and men. And it was probably another couple of years before I decided to try another actual relationship with a girl. One and done didn't seem so bad to me again. Although from that day forward, I always played the drivers license game with any girl I was planning on hooking up with.

 

[SHAGAMANIA 3:16]

The 21 year old is supposedly a nice guy according to OP.
The 21 year old is the main victim in this. He was duped by a 14 year old lying about his age. However if I were that guy I would of called off the relationship immediately that is some serious shit you don't want to get involved with.

I mostly agree with the way the mother handled it. I wouldn't want to put a pedophile target on someone's back, it is a very serious crime and has huge effects in your life just except I would only let them see each other while I am around just to make sure they don't grant my wishes, I would let hem be friends if they wish but I would forbid a romance relationship.

P.S DJ needs to get canceling that is some sick shit having sex at 8 years old, your balls don't even drop for at least another 3 years. You shouldn't be having sex until your 13 (with people your age of course).

 

[Xemmy]

Every situation is different and it really depends on context. It's an age old question with teenagers. They'll always fit into this morale grey area with certain things in regards to the law. Because some of them are totally capable of making their own decisions, while other's aren't. And there just isn't a good, fair solution to DJ's situation or to teenage sex across the board. Teenagers are horny. They're going to do it anyway. And I don't think enough people take that into account.

Some people are going to see it his way, and other's are going to think negatively of it.


As everyone's already stated, the law is the law, and the law doesn't give a shit about gray areas. And it's just not worth the risk, especially if he cares about the guy. If he's that mature, he should do the mature thing, and make sure the guy is protected: by not involving himself that way. This is all assuming the older gentleman isn't an out and out predator and is simply developing feelings for someone he sees as his equal. Of course this is all easy for me to say, it's not my longing. But it IS a gamble that's best avoided for both their sakes. It might not be fair. But it's the truth.

I'd like to apologize for reviving this from the grave. I hadn't realized how hold this was until I posted.