Funny Stories in High School Sports

[The Doctor]

Didn't really know where to put this, but since this is more of a People thread than a Sports thread, I'm putting it here.

So, for those of us that have done/will do/did sports (or another extracurricular activity) in High School, what stories did you get out of them? We all have stories, surely.

Here's one I have. I was in wrestling in 11th grade, and I had a blast. Well, we were going to Naples (yes, Italy) for a meet, and I was about 1 pound under 171 which was my legal weight limit. Another kid, Andy Gutierrez, was three pounds over. On the way there, all I ate throughout the day was a leftover vegetable pizza. Pizzas in Italy are really thin and healthy. Gutierrez ate things at every gas station we stopped at. At Burger King he had a steakhouse burger and medium fries, AND a drink. And then, of all the places to eat dinner, we had to eat at the Applebee's on base. I drank water and ate artichoke dip and chips. Gutierrez ate onion rings, and a huge sandwich, topped off with some kind of brownie for dessert.
The next morning, we weighed ourselves to see if we had to quickly cut weight. I was one pound over. Gutierrez had somehow no only lost all three extra pounds, but was two under for good measure. Since that day, we referred to excessive eating during a meet "The Gutierrez Diet".

I have others, but I want to hear yours.

 

[The Doctor]

This is an outrage! A scandal!

Yeah, just bumping it.

This one time we all decided to invent stupid "finishing moves" that we would try and use in our matches and this kid called Kunis invented The Egg Roll, where he'd do a forward roll and grab the guy's ankles, thus taking his opponent down.

It worked.

 

[Tenta]

Doc, I love the topic, man. Ok, this one may take a while to type, and it's taking away from my JTMFTG. But here we go!

So, it was Spring Break with my friends and I, and we're in Mexico. Becuase, well, you have to go out of the country on Spring Break, I guess. Anyway, we're sitting on the beach drinking Corona's (Yes, I know, how stereotypical, eh?) and we're lloking at all these fine hunnies on the beach. Well, we're scoping out, and we all make a deal with one another. For tonight, we would all spread out amongst ourselves, and see who can get laid first. First one to get laid, wins the contest. Not only that, but they win the room for the night, and everyone else has to move on out to the beach, and sleep on the folding chairs for the night. We all split up later that night, and we all see what we can do.

I run into this fine chick at the hotel lobby, and work the Tenta charm. She seems game, and pulls me into the Taxi, to presumably go... Well, I don't know where, honestly. We wind up at Senor Frogs, which is a pretty good club, actually, when you're that young. We're pouring down shots of tequila, and I'm doing shots on her belly button and such. We're doing the lime in the mouth thing, and grinding on the dance floor. Finally, I look at the clock, and see the time. Eleven O' Clock. I tell her let's get out of there, as I really want the room for the night, and don't want to sleep on the beach.

We're making out in the Taxi back, and we're just fooling around and such. Pretty sure the driver got a glimpse of my bare ass. Then, we put on our clothes, and tell her let's go back to the room.

"No, no, let's do this on the Beach!"

... The Beach? But I'm going to fucking lose then! She dragged me to the beach, and as she did, I saw one of my mates, arm and arm with a girl, heading up the room. Fuck! I've already assured myself I'm staying on the beach, so I just enjoy myself, as we have sex on the beach. Like any red blooded man, I'm tired afterwards, and I decide to pass out, right then and there.

I wake up that morning. I look around, and she's gone. I look for my pants, and I can't find them. So then, I look around, as it had all of my money from last night. I still had about eighty dollars in my pocket. Well, when I search, I finally find my pants, underneath the chair. My money was gone. My wallet was still in the room, but all eight fucking dollars was stolen from me.

I lost the bet. I freezed my ass off on the beach for the night. And i got robbed.

But at least I kept my kidney

 

[The Doctor]

Hahah, oh man Tenta. The moral of the story is: Don't get laid. XD. I know it must have sucked for you, but I can't help but laugh at your misfortune.

We were all incredibly racist on the team. But since everyone knew it was a joke, no one got offended. Hell, the people who told the funniest jokes were the ones who told jokes about their race!

This happened in the same Applebee's from earlier. We were talking about food, and Keyth (a black guy) said "I don't even like watermelon!"
Zach (White/Mexican) turned around sharply and said in the most incredulous voice, "WHAT?!!"

We made fun of him mercilessly after that.

 

[Tenta]

LOLZ, that's some good stuff, Doc;

Ok, here's one in that route. So my team is staying in a hotel for a tourney, and I'm roomed with the 171 pounder and the 160 pounder. They're seniors and juniors... I'm a freshman. I can tell what's going to happen, but they wait until I fall asleep. I was the only one left wrestling after this day at the tournament, so they really didn't have much to lose by keeping me up. So the 160 pounder takes the lamp that's on the desk, and pulls it in my face, to keep me awake. He does this once, and admittedly, I get freaked out and scream. So, I guess they thought it'd be funny to do it again.

Well, turns out the lamp was plugged to the wall, and normally is impossible to pull out. Pulling it out means ripping the cord. So he pulls it, and the lamp comes, and the lamp's cord is broken. At first, the lamp just goes out.

Then, the lights in the bathroom are out. It was a circuit lighting, so one light turns all of the others off. Then, we try to turn on all of the lights... Nothing. We ruined the power for that room. And then, we hear shouting from the other rooms.

Apparently, we were responsible for all of the power on that floor going out, and being ripped out of the socket. Cost of the lighting: $230.

My team paid each and every last dime.

 

[The Doctor]

God, that reminds me of the time we made a mess on the bus.
AFter every meet, to celebrate, we'd stop by a gas station and other convenience stores and buy food. Lots of food. Well, I had bought these Sun Chips. I didn't feel like finishing them, so I asked who wanted them and gave them to Gutierrez.
About an hour later, I'm lying in the aisle of the bus because a huge kid had slammed me on some really hard mats, and I notice...chi crumbs. ALL OVER THE BUS. Gutierrez had accidentally smashed the chips an spread them around. We had about an hour left of the trip, so the whole team was rolling around on the floor at one in the morning, trying to get the bus clean before the coach saw.

Now, a non-wrestling one: At a fall retreat for Club Beyond (A youth group I was part of in Italy), we had just arrived, and I was exhausted. I went upstairs to the room where I was sleeping, only to hear people calling my name. I look out the window, and a number of my friends are shouting at me to come down. I tell them that I don't want to. One kid yelled "Hey, Matt, do 'The Star Spangled Banner!'" (See, I can play any song on my face, and that is one of my best). I calmly reply "I'll star-spangle YOUR banner if you don't shut up!"
My friend Brian strikes a sexy pose and says "Hey, will you star-spangle MY banner?"
I sigh and close the window. Later, my friend Ben comes up and asks why I didn't go down. My response?
"I was tired and having too much fun in bed. NO WAIT THAT'S NOT WHAT I-"
I have never seen Ben laugh so hard.

Good times.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Hmm...is this about pranks/hazing? After football practice, I once got tied up and thrown into the main gymnasium during cheerleader practice with nothing but my boxers on. Also, there was one kid who got his face taped to another kid's ass (it was fucked up, but I'll damned if I didn't laugh).

 

[jmt225]

I never played that hazing shit. Most of it involved homosexual nonsense, but thankfully.... I was never ganged up on my Freshmen year like some since I pretty much got along with everyone. And then past that, I didn't believe in hurting someone over literally nothing, so I never participated in that crap and I didn't find any of it to be funny. But at the same time... I'm disappointed in myself for never sticking up for anyone and just turning my back on it all.

Anyway, funny moments? Not many, really. I remember one time me and a couple of teammates were in deep discussion about the NBA during the middle of a game on the sideline, and we got in trouble for that. Looking back at it... it's pretty funny to be arguing basketball, right in the middle of a fucking football game.

 

[TSG]

During my 8th Grade Year (last year), during a football game, I was coming off the field after making a big sack on the QB, and my belt around my pants was too lose, and my pants fell down, showing the whole crowd and both teams me in my girdle and boxers.

 

[Grandmaster Sexy]

Tell us about the time you played the National Anthem on your face, Matt XDD

 

[The Doctor]

Ah yes. It was at a volleyball game and everyone knew I could play my face, so the hosts of the game got me to do he Star Spangled Banner. The whole crowd was there, watching me hit my face, and when I reached the high notes, the whole crowd as one winced, went "OOOOOOOOHHHHHH" and drew back.
I had to prevent myself from laughing because it was hilarious.

 

[The Doctor]

Also, one I forgot about until today:

The coach was angry about something, and was yelling at the team. Not thinking, I sat down on a guardrail. The coach stopped, mid-rant, to stare at me, and asked "What are you doing on that guardrail?". I stammered a bit. He went up to me and yelled "Does that guardrail have a sign on it, that says 'MATT'S ASS'?!"
For the rest of the season my friend Chris would say a variant of that whenever I sat down on anything.