Ok, here's the deal. I've been around the block more than once, so listen up. (lol)
Don't fall for it. It'll become the worst decision you've ever made in the relationship field. If she's already acting mental it will definitely get worse. She knows you will be there so she's using you as a fallback plan. I'm going say I'd put money on the fact that she's out looking for affection from the wrong type of guys, and when they leave her hangin' she comes back to you.
You already said she's been through a lot and confused. Somebody in that position doesn't know what she wants. Hence the word confusion. She says she wants one thing but is attracted to another and as such plays an emotional game of ping pong (I know, I know... it works though) that will never end unless she gets a grip on herself.
And you will never be the person to make her realize anything. That is something she can only do herself because it stems from her own personal issues. Believe me, I've been down that road, and no matter how much common sense, proof, sensible advice comes her way she'll think you're "telling her what to do" or "change her" (which, deep down, she knows she needs to do anyway).
She's out doing her thing, she gets sad, or lonely, or starts feeling down, and you're a pick me up. It's simply a vicious cycle that you need to break. You need to realize that you're better than that and deserve more. Do you want this kind of on again, off again thing in a relationship? Because even if it's not texting/talking, it will be on again off again w/something whether it's mood, affection, what have you.
Plus, if she's already playing the jealous, controlling, and hypocritical card it's going to get worse when you're around each other all the time. You'll be accused of things you don't do, even if she's doing the same thing herself (example: flirting/cheating). She's already trying to be controlling by getting upset if you don't text back fast enough. She wants to see if you'll toe the line. She's already hypocritical by nagging you about not talking when she herself doesn't care enough to talk herself. Plus, the jealousy is a very strong red flag.
Jealousy about somebody in that kind of situation usually, 9 times out of 10, points to one thing. And that is the person doing the accusing or getting jealous is doing what they are accusing you of. It's a known fact because the person realizes if they can do it, not get caught, and it's that easy, then the idea of you being able to do the same thing without their knowledge eats away at them. Plus it takes away from their control of the situation.
Not all of the time it's cheating though, it can simply be a control/power trip. If there is any reason that they feel they could be losing or have lost control, then that's when the ugliness starts. And sometimes the people that have been through difficult times are prone to this because they may not have had control over a lot of things in their life or been controlled themselves, and they like to be on the opposite side of the coin. That, and/or they could simply control somebody because that's all they've known and that's how they've learned to treat people.
In other words, don't fall for any excuses. Especially something as lame as "I've been busy". That usually means, either they don't care enough or don't want anything to do w/you until they absolutely need human contact, feel down, etc. (because when they're up they avoid you) or that they're doing whatever they want but want to know you're still able to be controlled. Either way it's a losing situation and you need to find somebody that appreciates you and wants to participate in the relationship on a healthy level.
(Sorry it took so long to post this, I was writing it during commercials and I also had to proofread.)
