Please forgive me if I'm bending the rules for this hypothetical interview, but I'm taking this as not only an opportunity to interview ANY wrestler (past or present), but also being able to give them some kind of truth serum; meaning that I would be able to hear the absolute truth from them, no matter what the questions might be (I hope I didn't miss the point of the thread!).
If there's any current wrestler that would fit the spirit of this thread perfectly, it would have to be Mr. Jeff Hardy. I know he's kind of an obvious choice, but no one has mentioned him yet. Plus, I'd love to hear his answers to all of these questions, dammit!
After giving Jeff the truth serum (he may need more than one dose, depending on his tolerance for mood-altering substances - lol!), there are so many questions to ask him. Even though I'd love to talk with Jeff Hardy for hours about his personal issues (after somehow being able to know that he would HAVE to tell me the truth), here is my list of the top five questions I'd ask him:
1) When you left the WWE back in 2009, were you really taking a break from wrestling? ...or did you think of it more as a break from the WWE's wellness policy? ie: sow your wild oats, so to speak...one last binge before "settling down" and finishing your career clean & straight?
2) I remember reading that you decided to join the TNA roster mainly because of what CM Punk (and/or WWE creative) said about you during a promo that aired on an episode of Smackdown (shortly after your WWE departure). During the promo in question, Punk mentioned your legal situation to help further his character's "dominance" over your character, and also helped him garner some extra heel-heat for his onscreen persona. Was that really the final straw that led to your decision to join TNA? Were you leaning towards rejoining the WWE before that promo happened?
3) Given your history of "violating" the WWE's wellness policy, and your current legal troubles, there's a stigma about you loving to party. Which illegal drugs have you taken in your lifetime, and what would you consider to be your main drug of choice?
4) How many times have you came to work on any mood-altering substance(s)? During your time in WWE, was there ever a time when you felt like your (impaired) condition could have put your coworkers and/or yourself in danger (if you had indeed came to work high)? Have you ever seen (or competed against) another performer that you know for a fact was on a mood-altering substance? If so, do you feel that their condition could have risked anyone's well-being (including their own)?
5) What really happened on Sunday March 13, 2011 (the day of TNA's Victory Road PPV)? ie: which substances (if any) did you take that day? Did you really think that you were fit to compete? Please walk me through the entire day, and don't skimp on the details.
This last question is obviously the one that I'm most interested in. If Mr. Hardy was given a dose of "magic" truth serum, I imagine that his response would be extremely long-winded (and I, for one, would find it to be DAMN compelling). I'd want to know every tiny detail of the day in question, and this would obviously be the bread & butter of the interview. Man, oh man...it would be amazing if this was in the realm of possibility, too bad the IWC will never know the complete truth about the Victory Road debacle.
Some runner-up questions for Mr. Hardy would be:
-- When your residence was raided (shortly after your last departure from the WWE), how much of the contraband in question was yours? ...by that, I mean how much of it was for your own personal use, and how much of it (if any) belonged to someone else?
-- Have you ever abused steroids, or HGH to try and help you during your career?
-- Do you consider yourself to be addicted to any drugs and/or alcohol?
-- Have you ever used with any of your coworkers? For instance: Rob Van Dam has never tried to hide his stance on marijuana use...have you ever smoked pot with RVD? Have you ever used anything with any of your wrestling peers? If so, who with, and which chemicals were used?
(I know that this last question is just about gossip, and getting "dirt" on other wrestlers...but I'd have to assume that Mr. Hardy would know better than anyone else! ...maybe X-Pac would know better, who knows! lol!)
Again, I really hope that this line of questioning doesn't offend anyone. I'd really like to know the truth about Jeff Hardy's legal situation, and I'd love to (somehow) hear the God-honest truth. I'm sure there's at least one judge down in NC that would love to hear some of these answers as well. Thanks for letting me play along with this thread...I know it's going to sound strange, but I had a lot of fun coming up with these questions to ask Mr. Hardy!