Connor: Good evening, gentlemen! And what a match we have in store for you right here and right now.
Cohen: I hate waiting for anything, Cat. So a little slice of pie before the main meal is right up my street.
Connors: Later on, we will be joined by Sebastian Copeland but he's just heading round to meet with WZCW Heavyweight Champion John Constantine. So I guess we will let him off with that one. But enough talking, let's get this show on the road!
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Harrys: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a Triple Threat Match! Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, Derek Jacobs!!!
Derek pushes passed the entrance with a hungry look in his eyes. He gives the fans a smile and steps into the ring. He jumps at referee Akiyama, who leaps out of the ring in fright. The crowd gives a small laugh while the referee warns him he'll disqualify him if he does that again.
Cohen:
Somebody is walking out with a prize at the end of this bout. Who wants to bet it won't be Derek Jacobs if he continues to harass WZCW personnel?
Connor:
It's not in his best interest to psyche out the referee, true, but he's entertaining the fans. Isn't that what this whole thing is about?
Cohen:
Jesters don't sit on thrones, Cat.
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Harrys: Making his way to the ring, hailing from Erinsborough, Australia, "Crocodile" Bruce Irwin!!!
Bruce marches through the curtain to the cheers of the audience. He stops to give several high fives, and tosses his own shirt into the sea of the WZCW Universe. Bruce climbs in and focuses on Derek Jacobs.
Cohen:
Speaking of jesters. This guy has been down and out all month. Can the Aussie score the win and walk away with the mystery prize?
Connor:
Of course he can! If he wins, he could be the #1 Contender to the Heavyweight Championship! Or or maybe bring the Mayhem title out of retirement. Hell, we could be looking at the new GM of Meltdown for all we know.
Cohen:
If Vance Bateman is tuning in or is in the building, I apologize on behalf of my partner. He can get too excited at times.
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Harrys: And their opponent, from Los Angeles, California, "The Masked Warrior" Prince!!!
Prince lumbers is way out and hesitates at the ramp. He pulls the mask over his head and is suddenly a different person; shaking hands with those in attendance and even stopping to pose to take a selfie with a boy from the front row. He steps into the ring, climbs the second rope, and lets out a howl. The fans howl right along with him.
Connor:
Gonna call this guy a jester, too?
Cohen:
Prince is getting noticed in the locker room for sure. But it might be because he has a tail.
Connor:
The guy idolizes a Tekken character. What's so wrong with that?
Cohen:
He's wearing a tail, Cat. You tell me.
DING DING DING!!!
The three circle each other around the ring, looking for an opening. Derek grabbed at Prince, but Prince slipped through and slid out of the ring. DJ started to pursue him, but with his back turned he is unceremoniously lifted over the top rope by Bruce Irwin and he crashed down to the floor! Bruce Irwin stood alone in the ring while Prince quickly went on the offense by hammering Derek Jacobs on the floor's mat.
Cohen:
I heard a rumor that this was supposed to be an Over The Top Rope Match. If so, DJ would have already been done with.
Connor:
Speaking of rumors, there is a chance that the prize could be a date with Becky Serra, IF the internet is to be believed.
Cohen:
Are...are you online while you're supposed to be commentating?
Prince gave Derek a rolling Savate Kick to keep him down while Irwin climbed out of the ring. The two exchange a brief nod of respect before grappling with each other. Prince attempted a takedown but Irwin scooped him in his arms, lifted him up, and rammed him into a corner post! Prince fell in a crumpled heap. DJ is back up and gave Irwin a lariat across the neck. Derek Jacob picked Bruce Irwin back up and rolled him into the ring. For good measure he waited for Prince to stand. He delivered a Big Boot to keep the Tekken fan down.
Cohen:
With how Jacobs is acting you'd think the mystery prize is money.
Connor:
Hey, it could be. Or what if it's a load of gold bars? It is Gold Rush after all.
Cohen:
Or...or it could be a golden statue of everybody's favorite superstar, Rush.
Connor:
That actually sounds awesome.
Cohen:
I was being sarcastic, Cat. How the hell will any of these men carry around a statue?
Derek Jacobs stepped into the ring with "Crocodile" Irwin. He clubbed him across his back and it gave a resounding
thud. Irwin screamed in pain. Jacobs Irish Whipped him across the ring, Irwin rebounds, Jacobs connects with another lariat...no! Irwin ducked, ran to the other side of the ring, and spin kicked DJ! Jacobs goes down to the floor on one knee. Prince slid back into the ring and assisted Irwin. Together they hoisted DJ back up. Irwin Sidewalk Slammed him right back down and Prince Springboard Elbow'd him in his rib cage. Prince jumped right back up and Pounced Irwin! The alliance was cut short as Prince led the assault on the Australian.
Bruce tumbled back out of the ring after Prince's signature move and Prince followed. Prince struck him with one palm strike after the other until Irwin caught one, pulled him into his arms, and hit The Digereedon't!!! The fans erupt with the finishing move coming out of nowhere. Irwin reels from the onslaught of Prince's offense, however, and slumped down to catch his breath. Back in the ring, Derek is up after being checked by Akiyama. DJ paced the ring- waiting on either combatant to get back inside.
Connor:
He should be capitalizing on this moment. Bruce Irwin and Prince are down!
Cohen:
Jacobs can pick apart whomever rolls back in. It's not the dumbest strategy we've ever seen.
Seeing DJ stalk the ring, Irwin gathered his strength and got back up. He lifted Prince into a Military Press and shoved him into the ring. With Prince incapacitated and Irwin dazed, DJ quickly pinned the masked superstar.
1!
2!
3-
Irwin pulled Prince's other leg over the rope! As if he knew what DJ's plan was, Irwin was one step ahead. Infuriated, Jacobs raked Prince in his eyes- sending a message to Bruce. Irwin hopped back in and shoot kicked the kneeling DJ across the chest! In intense pain, DJ rolled out of the ring and collapsed against the bannister that separated the crowd from the wrestlers. Bruce Irwin Crucifix Pinned Prince!
1!
2!
As the referee counted
3! Prince powered out!
Connor:
Incredible! Even after a Digereedon't and a dirty move by Derek Jacobs, Prince stays resilient.
Cohen:
Hey now. Time passed between Bruce's powerslam and that pin. Don't make it out like the kid is some kind of hero.
Acting on instinct, Prince rose up and grappled with Irwin. He let out a roar and pulled Irwin close- setting up The Royal Flush! But he couldn't lift Irwin completely up after all of the abuse sustained in the match. Irwin reversed the Muscle Busting move into a second Digereedon't! He executes it! DJ limps back to the ring. Bruce Irwin hooks the leg for the pin...
1!
Jacobs is on the apron...
2!
He shot passed the ropes and towards Irwin...
3!
Derek breaks the c-no! Referee Akiyama calls for the bell as DJ was a hair trigger away from keeping Bruce Irwin from the win! DJ looked pissed and heaved himself over to a corner of the ring, shaking his head. Irwin's hand is raised and the fans cheer.
Harrys: Here is your winner, "Crocodile" Bruce Irwin!!!
Cohen:
Foul move, ref. DJ was right there! I bet you this was because Jacobs jumped at him before the match.
Connor:
You're joking, Seabass. Irwin won it cleanly. Brave effort by Prince at the end, and DJ was close, but Bruce Irwin took home the victory tonight and whatever the award is.
Cohen:
Eh, may not even be a good award. Methinks somebody is walking away with El Swago's mask...or Mr. Baller's head.
Connor: Don't go anywhere, folks. So much more to come with the panel tonight before we go live with WZCW Gold Rush...