Royal Rumble
Arrowhead Pond,
Anaheim, CA
The cameras pan throughout the huge arena, as the pyrotechnical display explodes across the stage. The Royal Rumble, the WWE's first PPV of the year is underway! The camera view quickly changes to that of the two commentators, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler, as they get set to call the night's action.
JR: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Royal Rumble is here, and King, it's gonna be a hell of a night!
King: Oh, you got that right, J.R.! This is gonna be exciting! Finally, John Cena gets his at the hands of the "Rated R Superstar" Edge!
JR: Well, I don't know about all that, but the Royal Rumble match itself is probably going to be the most talked about Rumble in history! It's time to kick this thing off, let's go down to Howard Finkel!
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Match #1: Battle Royal for the WWE Women's Championship
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce at this time the participants for this battle royal! The first diva headed to the ring is Maria!
Maria walks to the ring, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd...
Howard Finkel: Our next participant: Victoria!
Without warning, an eerie theme plays out over the loudspeakers of the arena, Victoria walks out in her old "psycho" outfit, and sports a facial expression of pure hatred, as she heads to the ring...
Howard Finkel: Participant #3 is Candace Michelle!
A raven-haired beauty emerges from backstage, dressed in a white, yet very seductive, wrestling outfit. She waves around a little wand as she walks sexily down to the ring...
Howard Finkel: Participant #4 is Lita!
Lita walks out dressed in her usual attire (a black blouse with the words "Rated R Superstar" on it and black jeans) storms to the ring and enters...
Howard Finkel: Our fifth entrant is Mickie James!
Mickie comes bouncing out to the entranceway in her typically exuberant way. She bounds down the ramp way and enters the ring. Suddenly, all five women attack one another and the match seems to be underway. Without warning, however, Howard Finkel speaks and what he says stops the women in their tracks...
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you at this time the final participant in this contest. Please welcome back to the WWE, Molly Holly!
All the women stop fighting and fix their gaze on the entranceway. Suddenly, a female figure enters from the other side of the ring! Molly charges at Maria and the match is underway! Victoria and Lita tear into each other ferociously but neither one is able to gain a significant advantage over the other. Molly drops Maria with a body slam and then walks over and smashes Lita in the back with a double ax handle. Lita crumbles to the mat, as Molly and Victoria double team her mercilessly...
JR: King, it looks like Lita has her hands full with two former WWE Women's Champions!
King: Oh, you got that right, J.R.! Poor Lita might have just gotten in over her head this time!
Molly turns and drills Candace with a right forearm shot to the head, and then tosses her over the top rope! Candace goes sailing to the floor and is eliminated. Lita gets the upper hand on Victoria for about two minutes, but then Molly Holly drops Lita from behind with a double axe-handle to the back of the head! Victoria and Molly Holly grab Lita and together they toss her over the ropes to the floor!
JR: Well, King, I figured that would happen! Lita got double-teamed right out of the match!
King: JR, I feel so bad for Lita! Come on over here, Lita, I'll console you!
Mickie drops Victoria with a dropkick, but she then walks right into a clothesline from Molly Holly. Victoria and Molly double team Mickie with a double suplex, and then toss her over the top rope to the floor! Maria looks at both women with a bit of fear in her eyes, and the two ladies look at her with devilish smiles on theirs...
JR: Damn it, King! I don't like this scenario one bit!
King: Poor Maria! Come over here, Maria, I'll protect you!
Maria stunningly drops Molly with a leaping clothesline, and then drops Victoria with a dropkick. Maria turns to celebrate with the crowd, and that becomes her undoing. Molly drills her from behind with an ax-handle just as Victoria gets to her feet. Victoria and Molly combine their efforts and together they toss Maria over the ropes to the floor! The two ladies high-five each other! Molly turns and gets drilled with a boot to the stomach! Victoria then plants her with the Widow's Peak! Victoria then tosses her over the top rope to the floor to win the WWE Women's Championship!
JR: Well King, she did it and she deserved to win it!!
King: JR, you are so right! Victoria makes a great women's champion!
Post-Match: As Victoria celebrates her victory, a woman dressed totally in black, wearing a ski mask type of apparatus on her head, enters the ring and drills Victoria in the back of the head with a huge kick! the woman drills Victoria with a brutal looking DDT! The woman then rips off the mask to reveal herself as none other than...MADUSA! The crowd goes wild as she also removes her black shirt to reveal another black shirt, but this one has writing on it! Emblazoned across the shirt are three letters: N-W-A! The fans cheer loudly as Madusa drapes the WWE title across Victoria's prone body, exits the ring, and heads backstage...
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! The NWA has struck! What the hell else is gonna happen on this show!
King: JR, this is ridiculous! First we get bugged by those Extremely Crappy Wrestling idiots, and now we get bothered by these No-Talented Wrestling A**es!
Winner: New WWE Women's Champion, Victoria
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Backstage Moment #1:
Triple H is backstage, talking with his DX stablemate, Shawn Michaels, about the Royal Rumble...
HHH: Hey Shawn. I wanted you to know that tonight it's gonna be a wild night in that ring, but I'll do my best to watch your back and then when it's down to you and me, we can get down to business and show these people what DX is all about! You feel me?
HBK: Hunter, I hear ya. I just want you to know that if it does come down to you and me, well then all bets are off! I'll put everything into winning that match for the WWE and to get a shot at the WWE Championship! Bank on it!
The two stable mates get nose to nose, seemingly about to come to blows. A few minutes later, they end the tension with a big brotherly hug between the two. Surprisingly, the two men then head off in different directions...
JR: King, if this battle royal wasn't charged up with enough tension, man, that just adds more!
King: JR, could this mean the end of DX? I sure hope not!
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Match #2: Shelton Benjamin vs Senshi
"Can't Stop Me Now" hits and out walks Shelton with a smug look on his face, as he saunters down to the ring. A few minutes later, Senshi comes stomping down to the ring, as the fans roar with cheers and approval. Senshi enters the ring and immediately surprises Shelton with a rolling wheel kick. Shelton staggers to his feet, and leans on the ropes for support. Senshi charges at Shelton and drills him with Black Magic! Shelton is stunned and is easily planted onto the top rope in a seated position. Senhsi leaps up and blasts him with a Tidal Wave. Senshi goes for the quick kill and attempts the Warrior's Way, but Shelton quickly rolls away and slowly gets to his feet. Senshi rushes at Shelton but Shelton ducks, and then drops Senshi throat first onto the top rope.
JR: King, this match is getting nasty now! This NWA vs WWE rivalry sure kicked off on a high note!
King: JR, this an amazing match! Shelton looks like he's getting back into his groove now!
Shelton works over Senshi with boots to the head and body, and then drills him with a Northern Lights Suplex. Senshi barely manages to kick out at two. Shelton tries for a clothesline, Senshi ducks, but then gets planted with a Dragon Whip! Shelton mounts the top rope, but Senshi catches him with a diving headbutt to the groin area. Senshi then plants Shelton Bejamin with a Ki Krusher! Senshi finishes off Shelton with the Warrior's Way! 1..2..3! Senshi wins the match!
JR: King, the NWA is on to a big start in a big way here tonight!
King: JR, Senshi was just lucky! The night's still young for WWE yet!
Winner: Senshi
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Backstage Moment #2:
Several wrestlers from both promotions are backstage, talking about the Royal Rumble match itself. Suddenly, the discussion becomes heated, and before long, an all-out brawl breaks out between the NWA and WWE superstars! Security rushes in and attempts to separate both sides, but they have little effect. Vince shows up out of nowhere with at least a dozen more security guards, and finally order is restored. Vince then yells out to everyone involved:
Vince: If any of you try to pull crap like that again, I will not only have you removed from the damn building, but I'll have your asses arrested for assault with intent to do bodily harm! So, KNOCK IT OFF!
Vince then walks off in a huff, as the commentators discuss what they've just witnessed...
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! King, I just cannot wait to see what will happen during the Royal Rumble match!!
King: JR, it's gonna be absolutely wild!
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Match #3: Chris Masters vs Ron "The Truth" Killings (if Masters loses, he quits)
a long, regal-type anthem hits, and out walks Chris Masters. The fans boo loudly as he walks down to the ring. Moments later, Ron Killings rushes down to the ring, enters, and runs right into a clothesline from Masters! Masters then body slams Killings roughly to the mat.
JR: King, Masters said he would win, and it looks like he's a driven man alright!
King: JR, this match could be over before it starts! Talk about "making a killing"! Hah!
Masters goes for a second clothesline, Killings ducks and does the front splits! Masters is stunned by this display of athleticism, and falls prey to a hurrancurrana! Masters gets to his feet, only to walk right into a Flying Jalapeno! Masters rolls to the floor to regroup, as the fans cheer loudly for Killings. Killings sees Masters arguing with the crowd, runs to the opposite ropes, dives over the ring ropes, and scores with a thunderous corkscrew plancha! Masters is stunned on the concrete floor as Killings re-enters the ring and does a dance for the cheering crowd...
JR: My God, King! I'd say that Masters may have taken this youngster a bit lightly!
King: JR, Masters is gonna beat this punk! Wait and see!
Masters slowly re-enters the ring, and falls victim to two consecutive arm drags. Killings then scores with a dazzling dropkick. Masters rolls out of the ring to the floor and feigns forfeiting the match altogether. Killings races after him and clocks Masters with an ax-handle to the back of the head. Killings tries to whip Masters into the steel post, but Masters reverses it, and Killings crashes into it instead, shoulder first! Masters roughly grabs Killings and throws him back into the ring...
JR: Chris Masters has slowed this match's pace down considerably, and I think that Killings is in trouble, King!
King: JR, I told you that Chris Masters had this match well at hand!!
Masters grabs a dazed Killings and blasts him with a thunderous clothesline. Masters attempts the Masterlock, but Killings wriggles free, and as he quickly slips behind Masters, he reverses it into a sitout double underhook facebuster! The ref counts 1..2...but Masters kicks out! Killings argues with the referee, and this allows Masters to pull a pair of brass knuckles from his trunks and to blast Killings with them! As the ref checks on the fallen Killings, Masters tosses the knucks away, and rushes over to cover Killings! The ref gets to two and a half, but just as the ref goes to count the three, Killings drapes his left foot on the bottom rope! This effectively breaks the count and causes Masters to become irate! Masters argues with the ref about the count, as Killings slowly gets to his feet. Masters tries for a clothesline, but Killings ducks, bounces off the ropes and catches Masters with a Flying Jalapeno! Masters staggers to his feet, and walks right into a boot to the gut, then The Lie Detector! As Killings moves to cover Masters, Booker T comes walking down to ringside! Booker yells at Killings (which distracts the youngster) and Master drills Killings with a double ax handle! Killings goes sailing through the ropes to the concrete floor! Booker pounces on Killings as Masters distracts the referee!
JR: Chris Masters is taking the cheap way out! What a coward he is, having Booker T do his dirty work for him!
King: JR, Killings is in a whole lot of trouble!!
Booker throws Killings back into the ring just as the ref turns around. The ref sees Booker, exits the ring, and tells Booker to go backstage! When Booker refuses, the ref has security escort him backstage! Masters, meanwhile, attempts a second Masterlock, but Killings low blows him with a reverse kick to the groin! The ref is so busy getting rid of Booker T, that he does not see this infraction of the rules. What the ref does see is Killings score with the Truth Conviction! The ref rushes over and makes the 1.....2....3! Killings has beaten Masters, and "The Masterpiece" is now jobless!
JR: OH MY GOD! Chris Masters has lost and is now out of the WWE!? Good God Almighty!
King: JR, this is a sad day indeed for the WWE! Poor Chris Masters!
Winner: Ron "The Truth" Killings
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Backstage Moment #3:
Chris Masters is now backstage, completely despondent over losing such an important match. Masters sees Vince and rushes over to talk to him...
Masters: Sir, Mr. McMahon! Please, I am begging you not to enforce this "loser leave wrestling" stipulation that was put on my match earlier! Please!
Vince fixes Masters with a surly look, like someone just slapped him in the face. Vince then gets right into Master's face, and speaks as only he can...
Vince: Masters, be a man! Quit your whining and take it like a man! Masters, I am very busy with other matters right now and I don't have the time or the inclination to deal with "your" problems too! Masters, get the hell out of my face, and stay the hell away from me! YOU'RE FIRED!
The fans roar with approval as Vince struts away in the opposite direction. Masters is now completely dejected, but suddenly, a huge evil grin creeps across his face. Masters then quickly walks away, out of camera range...
JR: King, did you see the look on Chris Master's face? What the hell is he up to now? I don't like this one bit!
King: JR, it looks like Chris Master's is cooking up another "Masterpiece" of an idea! Hah!
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Match #3: WWE Tag Team Championship Unification Turmoil Match: DX vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Spirit Squad vs. ???
Moments before the tag team match can begin, a backstage page approaches Jim Ross and hands him a notice, which Jim Ross then shares with everyone watching…
JR: King, I’ve just been informed that this match is now a Gauntlet style tag team match, and the winners will be the Undisputed Tag Team Champions! Good Lord, what an announcement!!
King: JR, I’m stunned! This is gonna make this match a real, well, slobberknocker!
The Spirit Squad is first to head to the ring, all five of them in fact. They do their cheerleading bit, and then wait for their first opponents. London and Kendrick come storming out to the ring to a huge chorus of applause…
JR: King, this showdown right here will unify the tag team titles!
King: JR, I think the Spirit Squad just might pull off an upset!!
As London and Kendrick enter the ring, all five members of the SS attack them! The referee finally gets some order in the ring, and sends all the SS members (except for Kenny and Mikey) to the back! As the SS get distracted by this, London and Kendrick blast Kenny and Mikey with double dropkicks to the back of the head! London drills Mikey with a dragon suplex, while Brian Kendrick plants Kenny with a Cyclone DDT! London and Kendrick celebrate with the fans and that proves to be their undoing. Kendrick moves to scoop up Kenny for a suplex, but Kenny drills him with a low blow to the groin, sending Kendrick toppling through the ropes to the floor! London, meanwhile, tries to bodyslam Mikey, but he wriggles free and Kenny drills London with a stalling belly-to-back suplex, and then twisted it into a neckbreaker! Mikey, in the meanwhile, leaps over the top rope and drills Kendrick with a flying plancha! Kenny mounts the top rope and drills Paul London with a diving feint knee drop that amazingly turns into a high impact leg drop! Kenny hooks the leg for the 1…2…3! The Spirit Squad are the undisputed Tag Team Champions!
JR: Damn It!, The Spirit Squad did it! They unified the titles!
King: JR, I told you the Spirit Squad would do it!!
The Spirit Squad is celebrating their victory, which has brought the other three members of Spirit Squad back to the ring. Suddenly, “Is This Thing On?” hits and out comes DX! They rush the ring and decimate all five of the Spirit Squad members! Kenny looks on from outside the ring, and is so disgusted that DX is crushing his teammates so thoroughly, that he walks away! Kenny walks away backstage, as DX continues to humiliate the SS. It finally is down to poor Mikey being left all alone in the ring with DX, as his teammates lie strew around the ring. Shawn Michaels Superkicks Mikey in the face, and then HHH Pedigrees Mikey to the canvas for the 1…2...3! Degeneration X has won the Tag Team titles!
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! DX has won the gold! This is unbelievable!
King: JR, this is a travesty! Poor Spirit Squad!
DX celebrates their victory with the fans, but as they ramp up the celebratory cheers, those cheers suddenly turn to boos when Vince McMahon appears in the entranceway…
Vince: DX, did you really think your night was over? I think not! You see, there is one last tag team that is prepared to wrestle in this match, and not only that, but they have guaranteed me that after tonight, DX will be history! As a matter of fact, they promise me that they’ll make DX history in Three Minutes!
Without warning, Three Minute Warning attacks DX from behind! Rosie headbutts HBK, while Jamal savate kicks HHH! The fans boo unmercifully as TMW destroys DX! HHH is double-clotheslined over the top rope, and then HBK gets nailed with a double-edged Samoan drop! It’s a mere formality when TMW nails Shawn with a huge flying double off-the-top-rope body splash! The referee reluctantly counts the 1…2…3! Three Minute Warning are the new WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions!
JR: MY GOD! I hope Three Minute Warning are proud of themselves! They just demolished two legends right here tonight!
King: JR, I’d say that DX is history!!
Winners: Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions, Three Minute Warning
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Backstage Moment #4:
Three Minute Warning are backstage, celebrating their victory with their manager, Armando Alejandro Estrada, when Vince walks over to them...
Vince: Gentleman, let me say this: I am happier than I’ve ever been in a very long time! Finally, the WWE is rid of DX once and for all! I owe you a debt of gratitude and tomorrow on Raw, you’ll see how well I reward those who help me! Congratulations, gentlemen, and see you tomorrow on Raw!
The fans rain boos down on Vince as he smiles at the devilish trio, and then walks away backstage...
JR: King, what the hell was that? What kind of “reward” is Vince planning tomorrow? This stinks!
King: JR, I think that Raw just got a whole lot more interesting!
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TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT POST...