Which Upcoming Remake Pisses You Off The Most?

[Frank the Frowner]

Hollywood is definitely running out of ideas. Everything has gotten formulaic and a lot of plots are definitely recycled. As a result, movies these days have been for the most part, superhero movies, sequels, remakes, or ghastly spoof movies. Although some superhero movies and sequels have been excellent top quality movies, a lot of them have fallen flat.

Now, there is a huge slate of remakes on tap. The poll only allows me to list ten, but here are some pretty bad offenders of remakes that are slated to be released soon.

"Back To School" - Starring Cedric The Entertainer. This has been rumored for years now and it's finally coming out in 2010. Everything he's done for awhile now has been ghastly, and now he's going to piss all over the grave of Rodney Dangerfield with this movie. You can't replace Dangerfield, ESPECIALLY with Cedric The Entertainer of all people.

"Karate Kid" - You can't remake this. It was an all-time classic... and just like you can't replace Dangerfield, you can't replace Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi. Most of all you can't replace Billy Zabka! And the role of Daniel is going to be played by Will Smith's son. This is awful.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street" - The Halloween remake was successful, so naturally, remakes for Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street are on tap. And once again, the iconic actor is getting replaced, as Robert Englund will not be playing Freddy Krueger. Although Krueger became cartoonish as the series went on, he was downright scary in the first, and Englund did the role so perfectly that no one else should be playing him.

"The Warriors" - MTV is producing the film, and I heard it's going to be The Crips vs. The Bloods. It's going to be truly awful.

These are the worst offenders. I'll make this multiple choice.

 

[klunderbunker]

The Birds. Hitchcock was the absolute master at scaring the living hell out of you and this was one of his masterpieces. His films worked because they were realistic, and you'd walk out of the theater thinking to yourself "that could happen to me". I don't want to see a remake with a bunch of digital crap and some crazy storyline. It's best to leave something like this where it should be: In its place as one of the most chilling films of the decade. Never really terrifying, but scary the entire time, unlike what it would be if remade today.

 

[Uncle Sam]

No mention of The Day The Earth Stood Still? I'm not particularly a fan of the original, but the remake does look like absolute shit. Judging from the trailer, Keanu Reeves makes one of the least believable aliens ever. I believe his lack of emotion is meant to come across as eerie, but they apparently forgot that's how he is in every single film he's ever been in. Well, most. Not to mention that the rest just looks like a rip-off of every other sci-fi film of the last five years.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

None of them. I can see positives for every single one. You've got the likes of Short Circuit that wasn't great to begin with. It's people our age look back on it fondly because we grew up watching it.

Highlander has dated terrible, and iswn't nowhere near as good as you remember. But the story has so much potential to make a great film.

Friday The 13th was popular. But the films & Jason never caught on like Freddy Kruger & Michael Mayers did. A Nightmare On Elm Street needs to get back to the seriousness of the original. Such a great character it's a waste to have him in comedy films. Where is the origin film?

The Karate Kid again is a film that can surely only appeal to people who were around when it was popular. It's a pointless remake though. Never Back Down is pretty much the same story.

The Warriors is badly dated, and it was cult to begin with. If it wasn't for the game this wouldn't happen.

Robocop is being done by Darren Aronofsky so I imagine it'll be so different it won't have any effect on the original. And the sequals are so poor it'll probably enhance the first one. The 3rd really had a damaging effect on the films.

The Birds is about 50 years old. While the original is still good, It's not exactly Psycho. A remake will probably lead to more people recognizing the original.

Err yeah, The Evil Dead remake is pointless. The 2nd was a type or remake anyway. Shiny Evil Dead will probably = shit Evil Dead.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I grew up with most of those films, and some of them already ended up half-way ruined with the sequels that followed them. I can't really say a remake of anything is going to be as good as the original, short of warping the film so much with modern day stuff to make it almost not even similar.

I think a good idea of what I'm refering to would be the recent Dark Knight movie. A lot of people felt it was nothing more than a remake of the original Batman, when in actuality it isn't. The newer Christian Bale - Batman movies are centered more around capturing the darkness of the character more than the Family friendly version that Kilmer and Clooney played.

Now as far as that list goes.. this is my take on a couple.

Evil Dead: Really? Was this trilogy even that big to warrant a remake of it, period? Bruce Campbell is the B-Show movie king of the universe. Noone will replace him in roles such as these, but that isn't to say they couldn't remake the movie with updated modern graphics.

I remember watching the original Evil Dead and laughing when he'd "chop" the dead woman down with an axe, and he almost lost the axe in the fake dummy. Somehow they kept that scene in. The "raping trees" were also quite amusing. Overall, I loved this trilogy. I'm warped for it, but Bruce Campbell is a great actor for movies like this. It's hard to imagine any remake out doing the cult classics.

Robocop: Again, I grew up with the original, and the very first one was hardcore to say the least. The second borderlined hardcore violence and cartoonish enemies. The third was somewhat watered down with a PG-ness to it. The irony is because of the updated graphics, I liked the third one.. but overall, the very first one was the best just because it touched base with what the purpose was really meant for.

The Karate Kid: Didn't they make a "Karate Girl" which kinda killed this series of movies to shit anyways? Also, if I recall the second one took place in Japan, yet the third one somehow tied in with the ending of the first one.. right? I can't recall it's been so long..

Pete said it best though, you can't replace the actors who captured these roles. It's not the same in saying something like "Heath did a better Joker than Jack did." Because those roles, albeit the same character, were two different shades of the character. Mr. Miyagi and Daniel aren't two different characters.. and now apparently Daniel is being played by Will Smith's SON!? Seriously..

Nightmare on Elm Street: This series drug out far too long anyways. By the time the most recent "Wes Craven's New Nightmare" or whatever it was came out, the entire series had turned to crap and was just "another sequel".

If it isn't going to be Robert Englund reprising the role, then it's instantly going to be outcast as crap. Even if the next-gen Freddie is good. This series, much like Jason, just went one or a few too many sequels as-is..

Highlander: This is my finale take on the subject of remakes. I can't see how this could be considered a remake, when they could easily just take an alternative character, and make him similar to Duncan McCloud. If they do remake it with the same character perhaps it'll be with the old school story still playing a part.. but more "in-depth" explanation of selective things.

 

[jmt225]

Definitely The Karate Kid. I didn't even know about it until I read this. And I can't fucking believe they're casting someone as young as Smith's son to play the lead role. This is absolute bullshit. It makes you wonder why can't these fuckers just come up with some new, original shit? I don't mind the horror remakes, but when you go touching classics like The Karate Kid, that's when there's something seriously wrong. There are plenty of "Underdog" tails to be told without touching the classics that have already been done.

Also, another remake they're making that pisses me off is "Adventures in Babysitting". When I was a kid, I probably saw that movie more then any other and to this day, I love it. And now, they're remaking it with that Raven bitch from the Disney channel. You know it's going to suck ass with casting like that. Words don't give justice to how terrible she is.

 

[Davi323]

I picked Back to School, for the simple reason that Back to School was all Rodney Dangerfield. Cedric the Entertainer is simply not Rodney Dangerfield. The movie only works because Rodney Dangerfield is such a schmuck, that you can't help but like him anyway.

The other movies are the type that you can do remakes with, for the most part.

A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday The 13th. These movies have numerous sequels already, and horror films generally can get recycled every generation. There have been a few remakes of Texas Chainsaw Massacre too, and, while none are great movies, they are enjoyable if you like horror films. Remaking Elm Street and Friday the 13th, two of the most successful horror franchises of all time, seems a natural way to introduce a brand new generation to Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees.

The Karate Kid - I am unsure why they need to make a remake, but, its probably gonna be made by Disney, probably have one of the stupid Jonas brothers or someone from High School Musical 10 in it, and it will make money from all the tweeners. I won't go see any remake of the Karate Kid, but, I am sure it will be moderately successful.

The Warriors - This remake, in my opinion, has to be made. Too few people have seen the original movie, and its a shame. It is an absolute classic, but, is very dated. I am in favor of a modern remake of this, as long as it is done right. This could either rock the house, or it could stink it up big time. The concept of a remake to the Warriors is appealing, it remains to be seen with the execution of that concept.

Robocop - This will be lame. But, something tells me it will be in theaters for about 2 weeks anyway, so minimal damage done to theaters.

The Birds - I am not convinced the concept of a flock of birds terrorizing people is really going to resonate with today's audience, but, I am meh to the idea, so the fact that I don't have an initially strong negative reaction means I can't say its the one that pisses me off the most.

Highlander - Why? The idea behind the original Highlander was brilliant. The sequels and TV series to it ruined what could have been a killer movie franchise beyond the point of death. The Highlander ship has sailed. Let it go. The original was a classic, Queen did the soundtrack, had Sean Connery in it, why mess it up? "There can be only one". They should have let there been only one movie... Any other entry into the series cannot improve it at all, so leave it alone. Maybe Christopher Lambert was a terrible actor, but, Highlander was a classic movie. Not a great movie, but a classic movie.

Short Circuit - Another Disney venture, I am sure. It will make money off of the kiddies, just like the original did, but, the adults will stay away from it, just like with the original. It isn't something I would go see in the theater anyway, so, not gonna waste the energy getting pissed off about it.