What are you most grateful for with regards to your parents?

[LSN80]

Every day, I see people who struggle in their familial relationships, and often, it's teenagers and their parents. The battle of wills that is waged is often as emotionally damaging as any war does so from a physical standpoint. And as is often the result, the fallout isn't pretty. People carry the damage from childhood into their adult lives, swearing they'll be better parents then there's ever were.

I'm not here to argue that parents out there do wrong by their children. They do, every day. In many cases, it's pure selfishness by parents. Children are, as much as they're blessings, tremendous burdens at times. And being that we're all selfish people, including parents, actions with a person's own interests at heart rather then those of their children is a common thing. I see it all the time.

But mostly, be the actions right or wrong, I see parents who act out of love and concern for their children. My parents themselves were determined that I was going to be successful, especially as a teenager when they saw a kid who was intelligent, but was more interested in sports and girls then he was in academics. My twin sister? She was valedictorian of our senior class, and put a lot of effort into it. I wound up skating by on just basic knowledge and threats of 9 week groundings from my mother.

There was one 9 weeks that I got a D in a class, and in my family, that meant being grounded for an entire 9 weeks. No sports, no dates, and no hanging out with friends. At the time, I despised my parents for it, and they've since acknowledged that they were incredibly too hard on a 16 year old high-school junior.

But what they also explained was that, poor way of showing it and all, it was because of their belief in me. I didn't, as a high school kid, see myself as intelligent. I thought my sister got the brains, and I, the social skills. But my parents saw something different in me, which is why they were so hard on me. They didn't want me to waste what they believed was God-given intelligence, and wind up unsuccessful in life because I didn't put much focus into the things I did, education wise.

My parents sat me down after I finished high school and explained that to me. They regretted the 9 week "grounding", but had they not believed in me, they told me, they wouldn't have been so hard on me. And in that, something changed. I had lost respect for them up until that moment, and in that moment, they began the process of earning it back. Their faith in me throughout college, some very difficult times, and then all the way through graduate school showed me how much they believed in me.

I can't say I'm grateful for the fact that my parents grounded me for 9 weeks, it really sucked. But what I am thankful for is parents who believed in me, and no matter their actions, they were attempting to show it. They went about it differently through college and post-graduate school, as they were essentially my biggest fans and sources of encouragement.

There isn't a chance I would have made it as far as I did in school or in life without the belief my parents had in me. Inadvertently, I never would have met my wife either, so their belief in me paid off in more ways then one. With my parents, it was the belief they had in me that trumped anything else.

Because when I didn't believe I could finish school, and had a teacher or two who believed the same, my parents kept telling me I could. And now, that nine week grounding doesn't seem so bad in comparison.

What's the one thing about your parent(s) that you're most thankful for? Why?

 

[Mustang Sally]

A virus took my hearing at age 11. During the terrible weeks the last of it drained away, I was scared to death and completely lost, yet my parents' positive attitude saw me through. What they felt inside was hard to say because they projected only what lie forward......never what lay behind.

They took me out of public school and sent me to a disability center a few miles away during my first year of deafness, where I was taught to communicate so I could get back to public school as soon as I felt able. They took it for granted I would get "normal" as soon as possible.....so I did, too. The thing is, my folks gave all the credit to me, insisting it was I who didn't want to exist only in the "deaf" world, but rather, wanted to rejoin the "hearing" world and function there. They credited my motivation to learn sign language and lip-reading instead of putting the emphasis on their firm guidance. I always knew they weren't taking the credit they deserved, but to them, the only thing that mattered was me. I missed only one year of public school; then I rejoined my friends and life went on much as it had before the illness.

Both my parents died nearly five years ago. Of course, it was horrible losing them, yet at 30, the wonderful parenting they had spent my brother's and my lifetimes instilling was done....and we have the tools to take it the rest of the way because of them.

 

[Akhilleus]

For me it isn't my parents, but rather my Grandmother who raised me through the years. I'm not going to dwell on the negatives as to why I was with my Grandmother and not my parents, but the fact of it was she was the one who took me in and she was the one who had sacrificed it all to do that. Despite not having that high paying of a job she still supported me, and gave me everything I ever asked for. Whether it was a sport I wanted to play that had a high registration fee, or the next video game coming out that month, she bought it for me. Along with dinner, clothes, and everything else. In fact before my custody trial when I was eight years old and was taken away by a police officer and forced to live with my mother for six months, she nearly cried herself to death because she thought she was going to lose me. My aunt had to drive all the way from the west coast to the east coast to so she could be there to calm her down.

But since then she's raised me into what I am today, and has taught led me into the right direction. One of the toughest women I know. She broke her wrist on the job, and not only refused to file for workman's compensation, went back into work the next week. She's supported me, and in ways I've supported her. The fact that she's the one who's supporting me when my father couldn't and my mother wouldn't, is what I'm grateful for.

 

[Reflection]

There have been many times when I have complained and thrown a tantrum that this friend has this commodity, that friend has maybe another commodity, and I don't have any of them, and thought that they were so lucky... But now, growing up, I see that I was lucky to have the amount of things I have, and there are so many kids around that cannot even think of having some of the things that my rich friends had and things I demanded to have too. I was given all that was necessary, but nothing too extra, and that was a good thing. Moreover, the amount of stuff a parent buys for his or her children don't make them a good parent. Some of my rich friends that got good gifts from parents, were made to study hard and score a certain % in academics, something I was never pressurised to do... I remember the time when I failed in my Higher Secondary examination in 2011, and my parents were very disappointed, but they never expressed their anger to me or called me a failure. When my father died that same year, he didn't see me succeed; in his eyes I was still a failure, but he didn't say anything. The next year, I cleared the examination, and in 2013, I was the college topper and among the top-20 candidates in the university standings- none of which I could have done without their support and the want of repaying back and proving my worth to atleast one of them, because it was too late to do it for the other.

 

[Slash-LN]

My mom was and is an amazing mother. She has always supported me in everything I've done. She's always tried to take an interest in her children's lives. Whether is was Cub Scouts for me or Girl Scouts for my sister, sitting through my various sporting events or even coaching my basketball team one year.

No matter how tough things in life got for us she always made sure we were healthy and had food.

When I was in rehab she came to visit every weekend and didn't put any pressure on me for anything I was doing. Same thing when I was in the hospital and when I was in the mental ward section of another hospital. She was there every day so I understood that if I was willing to reach out she was there for me.

She taught me how to have fun in life no matter what else was going on.

She has always been available to talk to but at the same time doesn't try to force me to talk about things. She allows me to do things my way.

My grandma on my dad's side did a lot of the same things as my mom. Of all her grandchildren I was closest to her and she would make excuses for me to visit her. She was so caring and just in general a great person. When our car would break down she would be there to take us to wherever we needed to go. Despite the fact that my mom and dad were divorced she always called my mom her daughter and always included my mom in stuff that she did. She always showed up for school events. Also if it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have seen my dad more than twice a year probably. Even on her deathbed she was more concerned about her family than she was herself. I'm forever grateful for who she was and for the way she helped shape me.

My dad taught me how to fish. We did some projects together so I guess he helped me learn about different tools and stuff like that. While he wasn't exactly around much when I was a kid he's tried to make up for it as an adult and I was even the best man at his wedding several years ago. It wouldn't be a stretch to say through the relationship we've had he's taught me that giving people a second chance can actually work sometimes so it's at least worth the effort.

I'd also like to add that as much as I hated my brother I did learn stuff from him too that I could use. Things like sticking up for yourself and your friends. How to treat women as far as not hitting them and that kind of stuff. He made it a point to make sure I understood that from a young age. He and I are so much alike and I'm glad we were able to fix things between us. I know he doesn't count as a parent but he was pretty much my male role model in my life so I feel like he should be included.

 

[JamJam]

Growing up, everything was pretty normal for me. I got ready for school in the morning, ate a bowl of cereal that my mom prepared for me, and went to school to do the best I could do. I don't think there's really much more that I could ask for from my parents. The fact that I had a pretty normal childhood was good enough for me. Yes, they were there at all the sporting events they could be at which was great since they were busy people at work. Hell, even now, I miss them because they're usually at work but hey, I get why they're doing it.

Overall, I'm pretty much grateful for all the thing my parents have done for me. Just being there is a big thing. I've got a lot of friends whose parents are either separated or they didn't know one of their parents growing up. So every time I had people over and they saw that my parents were home, they'd usually feel scared or ashamed to be over. But my parents did a good job making them feel comfortable and even hung out and played video games with us at one point in time.

That's why when I get my AA degree in Business in under a year or so, I'm ecstatic to see the smile on their faces when they see me grab that diploma of mine. Woohoo!

 

[Blade]

In terms of what they intentionally taught me, they let me think for myself. While my teachers and grandparents were quite religious, my parents never forced me to go to church or believe what others believed. They told me to figure it out for myself, and that is something I am eternally grateful for. Being told what to think without figuring it out for yourself is one of the most damaging things that can happen to a person. I've realised what beliefs work for me, while also knowing never to judge someone for what they believe. Y'know, unless it harms another person somehow.

In terms of what they unintentionally taught me, in all honesty, my parents were a terrible couple. My mother is incredibly high-maintenance, and my father was an overly laidback alcoholic. It's a miracle they lasted as long as they did. They showed me what not to do when it comes to love. I know that I'm not going to ask a girl to marry me unless I know that it's for life. Divorce is something that's all too common these days, but I've experienced first hand what it does to people and their children. My parents splitting up fucked me up more than I'd like to admit, but it gave me perspective on what I should look for.

Yeah, you can't know for sure that you won't get a divorce. Obviously you don't take marriage lightly just because divorce is an option. But I never want to be at a point where divorce is an option. I want to find a wife who'll keep fighting regardless. And maybe I'll never find that, but that's my problem.

 

[jameyt2003]

They are loving and loyal. Very protective. They taught me to view other things objectively but did not rob me of a soul.

 

[HBsam31]

I am thankful for them setting a time for me to be home and yelling at me and grounding me if I didn't follow that rule. I used to be so jealous of the guys that never had to be home and could stay out as late as they wanted. Later I realized that their parents just really didn't care. As an adult that would have been a horrible feeling for me if I thought they never cared. I know my parents cared a great deal for me,, and for that I am thankful.

 

[Dagger Dias]

The one thing I am most grateful for in regards to my parents is that they paid my college tuition. They did not have to do that. When I turned 18 they could have kicked me out and forced me to be an adult, instead I got a free ride through school as a double major, which took me 6 years to complete. I was never very close to them growing up and we are not on speaking terms at this time due to personal issues that took place in the last couple of years, but this is something they did for me that will always stick out. Unlike most people who might see this as an opportunity for a vacation from life (which one of my roommates did, his parents paid everything and he only lasted a semester), I made the best of it and still made the effort to complete my education, without paying a dime for it. Looking back on it now 3 years later, I am very grateful. They spent a colossal amount of money that they never had to.

 

[Agent Orange7]

I've taken so many life lessons from my parents, and I'm very grateful for them... I continue to learn from them, even though I may complain at times, I always know they mean well.

The biggest thing I learned from them is to not quit, and it goes back to seventh grade. That was the first year I played football. I wasn't having a lot of fun, it was tough. I wanted to quit, they told me I couldn't. They told me that since I started the season, I had to finish it. They said I didn't have to play the following year if I didn't want to, but I had to finish the season I started. I ended up playing all through high school. I wasn't very good, but it was always great to be part of the team. The not quitting thing has come up since then for sure, there have certainly been times I have wanted to quit one thing or another at certain points of my life, but I stuck it out, things turned around. I'll never forget that lesson. I was a sports reporter for a small newspaper for several years and there were kids that would quit teams at times for various reasons, often times one was coach or lack of playing time - that ALWAYS bugged me because even though I didn't play a ton in the different sports I played, I feel like I always got along with the coaches and even if I wasn't playing, I knew it wasn't because of a lack of effort or an attitude issue on my part, it was just that I wasn't very good - and I was ok with that. At least I didn't quit, and I have my parents to thank for that.

 

[GeneralKarim]

I think I can thank them for the liberties that I've had through my life and the financial support.

I've always been very free to do what the hell I want. Especially if I actually say that I want something and I give good reasons also.

They supported my "e-sports" career. I was playing a lot of semi-pro counter-strike an dota in my day and spend a lot of money and hours in internet cafes and shit. And I absolutely loved that time, I had so much fun. And a lot of that fun was because of the friends I made and all of the shit we talked and how much we laughed. I've never had curfew or something.


I also respect the hell out of them, because they divorced when they saw that they weren't happy for the longest time. And yet, we all have a very good relationship. Nothing really changed in terms of parenthood after the divorce. Only their personal freedoms, which they deserve.

Mom also when were were smaller, beat us a little bit. Which is something not practiced in today's PC world. Now if a parent raises their hand, police are already at the door and the kid is sent to another family( exaggeration ofc ). Because even tho im 24 and as in tune with today's world as one can be, I still think some fucking kids deserve a little beating from time to time. That's just my opinion tho and I know a lot of people dont like stuff like that.