klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 26, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're less than a month away from the biggest show of the year and somehow the top heel is Dixie Carter. Bully Ray is busy with the rejects known as Aces and 8's while AJ Styles is being called Mr. Marginal by a woman famous for having a husband named Surge and tweeting a lot. But remember, everything is FINE in this company. Let's get to it.
We open with the usual recap of last week's events.
Dixie Carter arrives and blows Sting off, basically telling him to stay out of her business.
Here are Bully and Brooke to get things going. Bully says it's not easy to take the words out of his mouth but Dixie did it last week. He's been up every night wondering how he can beat AJ Styles since AJ won the Series. Now it doesn't matter though as Dixie is inside AJ's head. AJ should be kissing the ground Dixie walks on for making him phenomenal. Ray stops to ask if we know who he is and here are the remaining Aces and 8's.
Knux does the talking and says the same thing he said last week: Ray needs to stop thinking about his ho and start thinking about his bros. Ray says he's the president and the rest of their patches should just say lackey. They need to fall in line and remember what he did to the former members of this club. Tonight it's Main Event Mafia vs. the three of them and if an Ace loses, they're out of the club.
Joseph Park is shaving while singing Sweet Caroline when Eric Young and ODB come in. Eric says Park needs to use a safety razor to prevent the civilians in the back.
Bro Mans/Gail Kim vs. ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park
This is a result of Robbie getting beaten by both Young and Park in a combined 12 seconds last week. The girls start but it's off to Robbie vs. Joseph before there's any contact. Robbie can't slam Joseph so Park slams him down for one instead. Jesse and Gail slow Joseph down before the Mans send him into the buckle. Jesse hits a good looking dropkick and avoids a seated senton from the big man. Robbie's middle rope elbow gets two but Park comes back with something resembling a Samoan drop.
The referee misses the hot tag to Eric and it's Gail in to get in some cheap shots. Back to the guys who are clotheslined down by Joseph, allowing for the hot tag to Eric for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and ODB sends Gail to the ramp. Robbie pulls back to hit ODB so she shoves his face into her chest. Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on Jesse, setting up a middle rope splash from Park, a top rope elbow from Eric and a splash from ODB for the pin at 6:26.
Austin Aries says he'll explain his future plans in the ring.
Hulk Hogan says he'll fix everything.
Here's Aries with something to say. He says it was just a year ago when he was headlining Bound For Glory and even though he's not doing that this year, he's still the main eventer. This brings out.....Kenny King? Kenny says he's tired of hearing everything Aries is talking about when it was Kenny King making headlines last year when he became X-Division Champion. Then the headlines changed to King being ripped off by Frail Sabin. He was ready to get his belt back but then someone got in the Manik costume and stole the X-Division Title.
That would be Austin Aries, who hasn't been the future or Generation Next (ROH reference) in about ten years. Now it's Kenny King's time but Aries cuts to the chase by saying he's ready right now. King says that just like Hilary Clinton says before she takes her clothes off, you don't want none of this, before decking Aries. Austin fights him off and says let's do it right now so here's a referee. Aries doesn't wait and dives at King on the ramp to start the match after a break.
Austin Aries vs. Kenny King
Back with Aries pounding away on the floor before heading back inside, only to be taken down by a leg drop and caught with a jumping elbow in the corner. King is busted open BAD, likely off something on the floor. Aries comes back with chops and an atomic drop before rolling over King's back to set up a release STO. The pendulum elbow but King spins out of the brainbuster. Aries loads up the 450 but King comes back with a super Tazplex for two. Austin shrugs it off and hits the running dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin at 5:00.
Lei'D Tapa is coming. It still should have been Ivelisse.
Chris Sabin brags to Austin Aries about being greater than the greatest man that ever lived. Velvet still looks uncomfortable. Sabin and Velvet leaves and Aries says he'd like to test Sabin's theory.
We recap the end of Ray/Aces and 8's from earlier.
The Mafia is getting ready but Magnus is frustrated by EGO. Sting tells him to calm down and focus on the bikers tonight.
We get a quick recap of AJ vs. Dixie from last week.
Here's Hogan to make everything better while also taking a bunch of money and not really improving anything. Hogan talks about being here for about four years now and being GM, meaning he's in charge of the day to day operations of this show. You never air your dirty laundry in public, and that's what's happening with Dixie and AJ. The fans seem to think AJ Styles should stick around and Hogan wants AJ out here to hear that himself. No one comes out so Hogan says we'll do this later.
Kurt Angle is back at BFG.
Someone named ETHAN is coming.
X-Division Title: Manik vs. Chris Sabin
Manik is defending and gets a quick two off a cross body. Sabin jumps over him in the corner but goes down grabbing his knee. Sabin limps around the ring and leans on Velvet for help, allowing Manik to become the stupidest man in wrestling by falling for it. The distraction lets Sabin pop up to the apron and kick Manik in the face to take over. Back in and Manik jumps over Sabin in the corner before putting on something like a Sharpshooter's mentally disabled cousin.
A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Chris before Manik busts out kicking combination #6 and a standing flip attack gets two. Velvet's distraction lets Chris get two off a rollup but Manik catapults Chris into the corner. Back to the same leg lock from earlier from the champion but Chris reaches out for the ropes, only to grab Velvet's hands. He drags her inside but the distraction lets Manik counter a rollup into a pinning combination for the pin at 5:43.
Sabin pounds on Manik until Aries makes the save. Velvet looks shocked at what Chris was doing.
Garrett Bischoff tells Aces and 8's to keep it together. Knux is ready to go.
Kurt Angle is still back at BFG. That hasn't changed in the last 20 minutes. Here's the same video in case you were confused though.
EGO thinks they should be in the Hall of Fame and suggest they should make sure Magnus loses again tonight. Bad Intentions laughs maniacally but Roode just stares at them, refusing to join in. Daniels: That's how villains laugh. Come on Bobby. Roode walks away. Funny stuff.
Main Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8's
If the Aces lose, whomever loses the fall is gone. Magnus pounds away on Knux to start but Garrett comes in to be suplexed. Knux and Brisco immediately dive in for the save and everything breaks down. Cue EGO to beat up Magnus who is left holding his knee as, making it 3-2 for the time being.
Back with Sting still in trouble and Magnus not on the apron. Knux chokes on Sting a bit and it's off to Brisco for a chinlock. Sting finally fights up and dropkicks Wes down and there's the hot tag to Joe as the Aces are all taken down. The backsplash gets two on Brisco and everything breaks down. The Stinger Splash crushes the bikers and there's the Clutch on Brisco for the submission at 10:07.
Post match Ray comes out and demands Wes' cut but he won't give it up. The fans chant NO, so Bully orders Garrett and Knux to take the cut off of Wes. They hesitate so Ray yells at them and lays out Wes himself with a clothesline and a piledriver. They're told to take the cut off again or Ray will piledriver Brisco a second time. Knux and Bischoff begrudgingly do what Ray says. Bischoff holds the cut out to Ray but Bully wants Knux to hand it to him. Ray tells Knux to not let the people get in his head before handing him the cut. Knux and Bischoff pick up Brisco....and we need to watch Hogan walking in the back.
Hogan is in the ring to call out AJ with his double theme music. Hogan has a long term contract for AJ to sign but AJ doesn't look happy. He picks up the pen and finally signs, saying he's TNA's. This brings out an overly smiley Dixie Carter who talks about why she signed Hulk. He was brought in to open doors and that's exactly what he did. She's very grateful but Hogan is just an employee. Dixie makes fun of AJ Styles' accent and rips up the contract, telling AJ can get out of his ring.
AJ leaves so Dixie goes on a rant about how no one knows how tough she has it. She knows how tough it is because she's in the 1% of people that get to make decisions like she does. Yes, they're seriously going with this story. Hogan now has a week to fall in line and join Team Dixie or else.
Results
ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim Splash to Jesse
Austin Aries b. Kenny King Brainbuster
Manik b. Chris Sabin Rollup
Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8's Koquina Clutch to Brisco
Friday
Impact got a .89, down 17% from last week's 1.04.
Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2013
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
The WWE is almost on the verge of a civil war between the HHH regime and a good chunk of the midcard. Daniel Bryan continues to be the one big hope for the good guys but tonight is about Dolph Ziggler as he challenges for Dean Ambrose's US Title. Other than that we may see some new developments for Battleground which is now just over a week away. Let's get to it.
Here's HHH to open things up. He's been checking social media and doesn't like seeing terms like favoritism or abuse of power. Sometimes WWE Superstars would rather blame management for their own failures. HHH and Stephanie are fine with that burden because they simply can't make everyone happy so they do what's best for business. Then on Raw HHH puts Shield in an 11-3 handicap match, ending with Daniel Bryan pinning Seth Rollins for the final win. HHH continues to talk about how awesome the match was but here's Miz to interrupt.
Miz doesn't think there's much to this idea of being fair but HHH cuts him off by reminding Miz of all the opportunities he's been given. Miz is the classic example of what HHH was talking about: a superstar who failed but blames someone else. HHH put him in the ring with Randy Orton two weeks ago and here's a clip of the beatdown Orton gave him in front of Miz's family.
What HHH doesn't get is why the beatdown that Randy Orton gave Miz should be on HHH's head. It's HHH's job to protect Miz, even from himself. That's why Miz only allowed Miz to host MizTV on Raw and he even threw Miz another opportunity by giving him Big Show as a guest. We get a clip of Stephanie telling Big Show to knock him out, which Miz says was ridiculous.
HHH asks Miz what he called Stephanie, with Miz repeating the castrated witch line, but he wishes he could replace the W with a B. Tempers were running high all around on Monday and HHH is sure Stephanie regrets what she said. However, let's talk about tonight. Miz must be ready to go, so tonight it's Miz vs. Randy Orton. Maybe HHH should even get in the jet and bring Miz's parents here to watch another beatdown.
R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title of course. Del Rio is very excited over what he did to RVD on Raw and he easily weathers an early Truth attack, only to miss a charge into the post. Truth's suplex into a Stunner gets two but the ax kick misses, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 1:33.
Post match Del Rio goes after Truth even more until RVD makes the save and holds up the title.
In the back Vickie and HHH make the match with Del Rio vs. RVD a hardcore match. HHH's name for the match: the Battleground Hardcore Rules match. Somehow, that might be more creative than the writing staff.
The Prime Time Players teach some stagehands the Millions of Dollars dance.
Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans
Swagger and Titus get things going with O'Neil kicking both Americans down like they're not even there. Swagger comes back by taking out the leg before the Americans start some rapid tags. Jack drives Titus into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before it's back to Cesaro to stomp him down. Here's the giant swing on O'Neil for a ridiculous 27 seconds. It's one thing on a small guy like Santino but to do 22 revolutions on a guy 6'4 and over 260lbs is INSANE. Again, why in the world is Cesaro in this tag team and not fighting for world titles?
Cesaro is too dizzy to stop a tag though and Young starts cleaning house. Cesaro comes right back with a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. Darren gets a rollup for two on Antonio but Swagger gets in a blind tag. Young hits the Gut Check on Cesaro but Swagger comes back in with the Patriot Lock for the submission from Young at 3:45.
Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder
Harper and Rowan throw Ryder into the ring but don't do anything to him other than that. Zack fires off some right hands so Bray just runs him over and drives in shots to Ryder's back. We actually get a chinlock from Wyatt but Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff. The Rough Ryder is countered with Ryder being LAUNCHED into the air, followed by Sister Abigail's Kiss getting the pin at 2:21.
US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kofi and RVD flank Ziggler for protection. Just get to the DQ and six man tag already. Dean takes over with a headbutt and rakes Ziggy's eyes over the top rope. An elbow drop gets a quick one for the champion but Dolph comes back with punches in the corner and a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor, triggering a brawl for the DQ at 2:01.
HHH makes the six man.
Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam
The bell rings and we take a break literally a second later. Back with Van Dam firing off kicks to Rollins before driving shoulders in the corner. Rolling Thunder gets two but Rollins gets in a shot to Rob's bad arm to take over. Off to Dean to crank on the arm but Rob comes back with a spin kick to the face to bring in Ziggler. Dolph snaps off a dropkick and drops five elbows instead of ten. Ambrose pops up and counters the jumping DDT into a snap spinebuster to give Shield control again.
Off to Reigns for a hard clothesline for two before bringing Dean back in to work on the ribs. Reigns comes back in and slams Dolph face first into the mat in a move so simple that it's awesome. Something like a gutwrench slam has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to put both guys down. Rollins breaks up another hot tag attempt but gets backdropped down, allowing for the real hot tag to Kofi.
Kingston speeds things up and hits the Boom Drop on Ambrose followed by the spinning cross body for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser on Rollins but gets speared down by Reigns. Rob kicks Reigns down and clotheslines him to the floor for a moonsault from the apron. Kofi hits a springboard clothesline on Ambrose and Trouble in Paradise to Reigns, only to have Rollins hit the running knee to the head to give Dean the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.
Big Show says he can't sleep at night and is a pariah in his own locker room. He starts crying again when HHH comes in and says maybe Show should just walk away. They really need to read up on what IRON CLAD means. HHH offers to help him find a job as a doorman or baggage handler since Big Show's size makes him special. Big Show holds his fist up at HHH but doesn't do anything past that.
Cameron vs. AJ Lee
Non-title. Tamina comes out with AJ due to every other Diva being against her (according to AJ in an inset promo). AJ takes Cameron into the corner before hooking a cravate about 30 seconds into the match. Cameron comes back with a quick rollup and a flying leg attack which was supposed to be a cross body for two. AJ sends her to the floor and shouts that Cameron is useless. Tamina takes out an interfering Naomi and the Shining Wizard knocks out Cameron for the pin at 2:41. Still no idea who I'm supposed to cheer for here but Cameron is worthless.
Here's Heyman to show us a clip of him pinning Punk at the PPV. The fans have disappointed him because they're surprised he pinned Punk. Heyman trade secret: Punk will lose every time the fans' blood lust drives him to come after Paul. We look at the Heyman guys destroying Punk on Monday. Heyman thanks everyone for their help on Monday and that includes the fans for driving Punk to do it. Punk is crazy enough to want a match with Ryback at Battleground which will end up with Punk on his back and looking up at the best in the world.
Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater
Santino has Hornswoggle and Great Khali with him. Slater drops Santino with a single right hand to start and we hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match. Santino comes back with his punches and hiptoss, only to have Slater knee him in the ribs to stop the comeback. As much of a comeback as you can have in the first minute of a match that is.
Slater gets crotched on the top and Santino loads up the Cobra....but Mahal plays a flute to hypnotize the sock. Khali plays a flute of his own to counter but McIntyre takes him down. The Cobra is about to attack Santino when Horny makes the save. Khali plays some more flute, allowing Santino to hit Slater with the Cobra for the pin at 2:58. I've watched wrestling for over 25 years and I can honestly say I've never seen anything like this.
Los Matadores arrive on Raw.
We recap the Rhodes Family troubles. Cody and Goldust (and presumably Dusty) accept an invitation to Raw on Monday.
The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Miz charges at Orton to start and fires off left hands in the corner. A clothesline sends Orton to the floor and he goes into the post for good measure. Back in and Miz pounds away even more before kicking Orton in the face. The running corner clothesline only hits buckle though and Orton has a breather. Miz might have injured his shoulder and has to be looked at but says he can keep going. Orton immediately grabs the Elevated DDT and won't let the doctor check on Miz again, drawing a DQ at 3:05. I'm not going to bother rating it due to a good chunk being spent on the medical check but this was more of an angle than a match.
Cue HHH to say that Orton isn't getting out of it that easily so we're restarting this as a No DQ match. Orton throws Miz over the announce table and then into the steps as he's in psycho mode. Miz gets in a chair shot to the ribs but Orton gets in a shot of his own to take over again. Another Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Miz out cold but it's the RKO for the pin at about 6:20 total.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth Superkick
Real American b. Prime Time Players Patriot Lock to Young
Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder Sister Abigail's Kiss
Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered
Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head
AJ Lee b. Cameron Shining Wizard
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater Cobra
Randy Orton b. Miz RKO
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston Cross Armbreakerer
Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players Discus lariat to O'Neil
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout
Fandango b. Santino Marella Guillotine legdrop
Total Divas b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox Bella Buster to Lee
Daniel Bryan/Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/R-Truth/Zack Ryder/Dolph Ziggler/Rob Van Dam/R-Truth b. Shield Running knee to Rollins
NXT
Ascension won tag team turmoil last eliminating Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore
Sasha Banks b. Bayley Neckbreaker
Aiden English b. Bull Dempsey Side Effect
Sami Zayn b. El Local Running boot to the face
Impact Wrestling
ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim Splash to Jesse
Austin Aries b. Kenny King Brainbuster
Manik b. Chris Sabin Rollup
Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8's Koquina Clutch to Brisco
Smackdown
Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth Superkick
Real American b. Prime Time Players Patriot Lock to Young
Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder Sister Abigail's Kiss
Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered
Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head
AJ Lee b. Cameron Shining Wizard
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater Cobra
Randy Orton b. Miz RKO
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 26, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're less than a month away from the biggest show of the year and somehow the top heel is Dixie Carter. Bully Ray is busy with the rejects known as Aces and 8's while AJ Styles is being called Mr. Marginal by a woman famous for having a husband named Surge and tweeting a lot. But remember, everything is FINE in this company. Let's get to it.
We open with the usual recap of last week's events.
Dixie Carter arrives and blows Sting off, basically telling him to stay out of her business.
Here are Bully and Brooke to get things going. Bully says it's not easy to take the words out of his mouth but Dixie did it last week. He's been up every night wondering how he can beat AJ Styles since AJ won the Series. Now it doesn't matter though as Dixie is inside AJ's head. AJ should be kissing the ground Dixie walks on for making him phenomenal. Ray stops to ask if we know who he is and here are the remaining Aces and 8's.
Knux does the talking and says the same thing he said last week: Ray needs to stop thinking about his ho and start thinking about his bros. Ray says he's the president and the rest of their patches should just say lackey. They need to fall in line and remember what he did to the former members of this club. Tonight it's Main Event Mafia vs. the three of them and if an Ace loses, they're out of the club.
Joseph Park is shaving while singing Sweet Caroline when Eric Young and ODB come in. Eric says Park needs to use a safety razor to prevent the civilians in the back.
Bro Mans/Gail Kim vs. ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park
This is a result of Robbie getting beaten by both Young and Park in a combined 12 seconds last week. The girls start but it's off to Robbie vs. Joseph before there's any contact. Robbie can't slam Joseph so Park slams him down for one instead. Jesse and Gail slow Joseph down before the Mans send him into the buckle. Jesse hits a good looking dropkick and avoids a seated senton from the big man. Robbie's middle rope elbow gets two but Park comes back with something resembling a Samoan drop.
The referee misses the hot tag to Eric and it's Gail in to get in some cheap shots. Back to the guys who are clotheslined down by Joseph, allowing for the hot tag to Eric for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and ODB sends Gail to the ramp. Robbie pulls back to hit ODB so she shoves his face into her chest. Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on Jesse, setting up a middle rope splash from Park, a top rope elbow from Eric and a splash from ODB for the pin at 6:26.
Austin Aries says he'll explain his future plans in the ring.
Hulk Hogan says he'll fix everything.
Here's Aries with something to say. He says it was just a year ago when he was headlining Bound For Glory and even though he's not doing that this year, he's still the main eventer. This brings out.....Kenny King? Kenny says he's tired of hearing everything Aries is talking about when it was Kenny King making headlines last year when he became X-Division Champion. Then the headlines changed to King being ripped off by Frail Sabin. He was ready to get his belt back but then someone got in the Manik costume and stole the X-Division Title.
That would be Austin Aries, who hasn't been the future or Generation Next (ROH reference) in about ten years. Now it's Kenny King's time but Aries cuts to the chase by saying he's ready right now. King says that just like Hilary Clinton says before she takes her clothes off, you don't want none of this, before decking Aries. Austin fights him off and says let's do it right now so here's a referee. Aries doesn't wait and dives at King on the ramp to start the match after a break.
Austin Aries vs. Kenny King
Back with Aries pounding away on the floor before heading back inside, only to be taken down by a leg drop and caught with a jumping elbow in the corner. King is busted open BAD, likely off something on the floor. Aries comes back with chops and an atomic drop before rolling over King's back to set up a release STO. The pendulum elbow but King spins out of the brainbuster. Aries loads up the 450 but King comes back with a super Tazplex for two. Austin shrugs it off and hits the running dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin at 5:00.
Lei'D Tapa is coming. It still should have been Ivelisse.
Chris Sabin brags to Austin Aries about being greater than the greatest man that ever lived. Velvet still looks uncomfortable. Sabin and Velvet leaves and Aries says he'd like to test Sabin's theory.
We recap the end of Ray/Aces and 8's from earlier.
The Mafia is getting ready but Magnus is frustrated by EGO. Sting tells him to calm down and focus on the bikers tonight.
We get a quick recap of AJ vs. Dixie from last week.
Here's Hogan to make everything better while also taking a bunch of money and not really improving anything. Hogan talks about being here for about four years now and being GM, meaning he's in charge of the day to day operations of this show. You never air your dirty laundry in public, and that's what's happening with Dixie and AJ. The fans seem to think AJ Styles should stick around and Hogan wants AJ out here to hear that himself. No one comes out so Hogan says we'll do this later.
Kurt Angle is back at BFG.
Someone named ETHAN is coming.
X-Division Title: Manik vs. Chris Sabin
Manik is defending and gets a quick two off a cross body. Sabin jumps over him in the corner but goes down grabbing his knee. Sabin limps around the ring and leans on Velvet for help, allowing Manik to become the stupidest man in wrestling by falling for it. The distraction lets Sabin pop up to the apron and kick Manik in the face to take over. Back in and Manik jumps over Sabin in the corner before putting on something like a Sharpshooter's mentally disabled cousin.
A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Chris before Manik busts out kicking combination #6 and a standing flip attack gets two. Velvet's distraction lets Chris get two off a rollup but Manik catapults Chris into the corner. Back to the same leg lock from earlier from the champion but Chris reaches out for the ropes, only to grab Velvet's hands. He drags her inside but the distraction lets Manik counter a rollup into a pinning combination for the pin at 5:43.
Sabin pounds on Manik until Aries makes the save. Velvet looks shocked at what Chris was doing.
Garrett Bischoff tells Aces and 8's to keep it together. Knux is ready to go.
Kurt Angle is still back at BFG. That hasn't changed in the last 20 minutes. Here's the same video in case you were confused though.
EGO thinks they should be in the Hall of Fame and suggest they should make sure Magnus loses again tonight. Bad Intentions laughs maniacally but Roode just stares at them, refusing to join in. Daniels: That's how villains laugh. Come on Bobby. Roode walks away. Funny stuff.
Main Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8's
If the Aces lose, whomever loses the fall is gone. Magnus pounds away on Knux to start but Garrett comes in to be suplexed. Knux and Brisco immediately dive in for the save and everything breaks down. Cue EGO to beat up Magnus who is left holding his knee as, making it 3-2 for the time being.
Back with Sting still in trouble and Magnus not on the apron. Knux chokes on Sting a bit and it's off to Brisco for a chinlock. Sting finally fights up and dropkicks Wes down and there's the hot tag to Joe as the Aces are all taken down. The backsplash gets two on Brisco and everything breaks down. The Stinger Splash crushes the bikers and there's the Clutch on Brisco for the submission at 10:07.
Post match Ray comes out and demands Wes' cut but he won't give it up. The fans chant NO, so Bully orders Garrett and Knux to take the cut off of Wes. They hesitate so Ray yells at them and lays out Wes himself with a clothesline and a piledriver. They're told to take the cut off again or Ray will piledriver Brisco a second time. Knux and Bischoff begrudgingly do what Ray says. Bischoff holds the cut out to Ray but Bully wants Knux to hand it to him. Ray tells Knux to not let the people get in his head before handing him the cut. Knux and Bischoff pick up Brisco....and we need to watch Hogan walking in the back.
Hogan is in the ring to call out AJ with his double theme music. Hogan has a long term contract for AJ to sign but AJ doesn't look happy. He picks up the pen and finally signs, saying he's TNA's. This brings out an overly smiley Dixie Carter who talks about why she signed Hulk. He was brought in to open doors and that's exactly what he did. She's very grateful but Hogan is just an employee. Dixie makes fun of AJ Styles' accent and rips up the contract, telling AJ can get out of his ring.
AJ leaves so Dixie goes on a rant about how no one knows how tough she has it. She knows how tough it is because she's in the 1% of people that get to make decisions like she does. Yes, they're seriously going with this story. Hogan now has a week to fall in line and join Team Dixie or else.
Results
ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim Splash to Jesse
Austin Aries b. Kenny King Brainbuster
Manik b. Chris Sabin Rollup
Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8's Koquina Clutch to Brisco
Friday
Impact got a .89, down 17% from last week's 1.04.
Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2013
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
The WWE is almost on the verge of a civil war between the HHH regime and a good chunk of the midcard. Daniel Bryan continues to be the one big hope for the good guys but tonight is about Dolph Ziggler as he challenges for Dean Ambrose's US Title. Other than that we may see some new developments for Battleground which is now just over a week away. Let's get to it.
Here's HHH to open things up. He's been checking social media and doesn't like seeing terms like favoritism or abuse of power. Sometimes WWE Superstars would rather blame management for their own failures. HHH and Stephanie are fine with that burden because they simply can't make everyone happy so they do what's best for business. Then on Raw HHH puts Shield in an 11-3 handicap match, ending with Daniel Bryan pinning Seth Rollins for the final win. HHH continues to talk about how awesome the match was but here's Miz to interrupt.
Miz doesn't think there's much to this idea of being fair but HHH cuts him off by reminding Miz of all the opportunities he's been given. Miz is the classic example of what HHH was talking about: a superstar who failed but blames someone else. HHH put him in the ring with Randy Orton two weeks ago and here's a clip of the beatdown Orton gave him in front of Miz's family.
What HHH doesn't get is why the beatdown that Randy Orton gave Miz should be on HHH's head. It's HHH's job to protect Miz, even from himself. That's why Miz only allowed Miz to host MizTV on Raw and he even threw Miz another opportunity by giving him Big Show as a guest. We get a clip of Stephanie telling Big Show to knock him out, which Miz says was ridiculous.
HHH asks Miz what he called Stephanie, with Miz repeating the castrated witch line, but he wishes he could replace the W with a B. Tempers were running high all around on Monday and HHH is sure Stephanie regrets what she said. However, let's talk about tonight. Miz must be ready to go, so tonight it's Miz vs. Randy Orton. Maybe HHH should even get in the jet and bring Miz's parents here to watch another beatdown.
R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title of course. Del Rio is very excited over what he did to RVD on Raw and he easily weathers an early Truth attack, only to miss a charge into the post. Truth's suplex into a Stunner gets two but the ax kick misses, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 1:33.
Post match Del Rio goes after Truth even more until RVD makes the save and holds up the title.
In the back Vickie and HHH make the match with Del Rio vs. RVD a hardcore match. HHH's name for the match: the Battleground Hardcore Rules match. Somehow, that might be more creative than the writing staff.
The Prime Time Players teach some stagehands the Millions of Dollars dance.
Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans
Swagger and Titus get things going with O'Neil kicking both Americans down like they're not even there. Swagger comes back by taking out the leg before the Americans start some rapid tags. Jack drives Titus into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before it's back to Cesaro to stomp him down. Here's the giant swing on O'Neil for a ridiculous 27 seconds. It's one thing on a small guy like Santino but to do 22 revolutions on a guy 6'4 and over 260lbs is INSANE. Again, why in the world is Cesaro in this tag team and not fighting for world titles?
Cesaro is too dizzy to stop a tag though and Young starts cleaning house. Cesaro comes right back with a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. Darren gets a rollup for two on Antonio but Swagger gets in a blind tag. Young hits the Gut Check on Cesaro but Swagger comes back in with the Patriot Lock for the submission from Young at 3:45.
Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder
Harper and Rowan throw Ryder into the ring but don't do anything to him other than that. Zack fires off some right hands so Bray just runs him over and drives in shots to Ryder's back. We actually get a chinlock from Wyatt but Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff. The Rough Ryder is countered with Ryder being LAUNCHED into the air, followed by Sister Abigail's Kiss getting the pin at 2:21.
US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kofi and RVD flank Ziggler for protection. Just get to the DQ and six man tag already. Dean takes over with a headbutt and rakes Ziggy's eyes over the top rope. An elbow drop gets a quick one for the champion but Dolph comes back with punches in the corner and a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor, triggering a brawl for the DQ at 2:01.
HHH makes the six man.
Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam
The bell rings and we take a break literally a second later. Back with Van Dam firing off kicks to Rollins before driving shoulders in the corner. Rolling Thunder gets two but Rollins gets in a shot to Rob's bad arm to take over. Off to Dean to crank on the arm but Rob comes back with a spin kick to the face to bring in Ziggler. Dolph snaps off a dropkick and drops five elbows instead of ten. Ambrose pops up and counters the jumping DDT into a snap spinebuster to give Shield control again.
Off to Reigns for a hard clothesline for two before bringing Dean back in to work on the ribs. Reigns comes back in and slams Dolph face first into the mat in a move so simple that it's awesome. Something like a gutwrench slam has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to put both guys down. Rollins breaks up another hot tag attempt but gets backdropped down, allowing for the real hot tag to Kofi.
Kingston speeds things up and hits the Boom Drop on Ambrose followed by the spinning cross body for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser on Rollins but gets speared down by Reigns. Rob kicks Reigns down and clotheslines him to the floor for a moonsault from the apron. Kofi hits a springboard clothesline on Ambrose and Trouble in Paradise to Reigns, only to have Rollins hit the running knee to the head to give Dean the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.
Big Show says he can't sleep at night and is a pariah in his own locker room. He starts crying again when HHH comes in and says maybe Show should just walk away. They really need to read up on what IRON CLAD means. HHH offers to help him find a job as a doorman or baggage handler since Big Show's size makes him special. Big Show holds his fist up at HHH but doesn't do anything past that.
Cameron vs. AJ Lee
Non-title. Tamina comes out with AJ due to every other Diva being against her (according to AJ in an inset promo). AJ takes Cameron into the corner before hooking a cravate about 30 seconds into the match. Cameron comes back with a quick rollup and a flying leg attack which was supposed to be a cross body for two. AJ sends her to the floor and shouts that Cameron is useless. Tamina takes out an interfering Naomi and the Shining Wizard knocks out Cameron for the pin at 2:41. Still no idea who I'm supposed to cheer for here but Cameron is worthless.
Here's Heyman to show us a clip of him pinning Punk at the PPV. The fans have disappointed him because they're surprised he pinned Punk. Heyman trade secret: Punk will lose every time the fans' blood lust drives him to come after Paul. We look at the Heyman guys destroying Punk on Monday. Heyman thanks everyone for their help on Monday and that includes the fans for driving Punk to do it. Punk is crazy enough to want a match with Ryback at Battleground which will end up with Punk on his back and looking up at the best in the world.
Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater
Santino has Hornswoggle and Great Khali with him. Slater drops Santino with a single right hand to start and we hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match. Santino comes back with his punches and hiptoss, only to have Slater knee him in the ribs to stop the comeback. As much of a comeback as you can have in the first minute of a match that is.
Slater gets crotched on the top and Santino loads up the Cobra....but Mahal plays a flute to hypnotize the sock. Khali plays a flute of his own to counter but McIntyre takes him down. The Cobra is about to attack Santino when Horny makes the save. Khali plays some more flute, allowing Santino to hit Slater with the Cobra for the pin at 2:58. I've watched wrestling for over 25 years and I can honestly say I've never seen anything like this.
Los Matadores arrive on Raw.
We recap the Rhodes Family troubles. Cody and Goldust (and presumably Dusty) accept an invitation to Raw on Monday.
The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Miz charges at Orton to start and fires off left hands in the corner. A clothesline sends Orton to the floor and he goes into the post for good measure. Back in and Miz pounds away even more before kicking Orton in the face. The running corner clothesline only hits buckle though and Orton has a breather. Miz might have injured his shoulder and has to be looked at but says he can keep going. Orton immediately grabs the Elevated DDT and won't let the doctor check on Miz again, drawing a DQ at 3:05. I'm not going to bother rating it due to a good chunk being spent on the medical check but this was more of an angle than a match.
Cue HHH to say that Orton isn't getting out of it that easily so we're restarting this as a No DQ match. Orton throws Miz over the announce table and then into the steps as he's in psycho mode. Miz gets in a chair shot to the ribs but Orton gets in a shot of his own to take over again. Another Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Miz out cold but it's the RKO for the pin at about 6:20 total.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth Superkick
Real American b. Prime Time Players Patriot Lock to Young
Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder Sister Abigail's Kiss
Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered
Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head
AJ Lee b. Cameron Shining Wizard
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater Cobra
Randy Orton b. Miz RKO
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston Cross Armbreakerer
Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players Discus lariat to O'Neil
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout
Fandango b. Santino Marella Guillotine legdrop
Total Divas b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox Bella Buster to Lee
Daniel Bryan/Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/R-Truth/Zack Ryder/Dolph Ziggler/Rob Van Dam/R-Truth b. Shield Running knee to Rollins
NXT
Ascension won tag team turmoil last eliminating Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore
Sasha Banks b. Bayley Neckbreaker
Aiden English b. Bull Dempsey Side Effect
Sami Zayn b. El Local Running boot to the face
Impact Wrestling
ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim Splash to Jesse
Austin Aries b. Kenny King Brainbuster
Manik b. Chris Sabin Rollup
Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8's Koquina Clutch to Brisco
Smackdown
Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth Superkick
Real American b. Prime Time Players Patriot Lock to Young
Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder Sister Abigail's Kiss
Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered
Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head
AJ Lee b. Cameron Shining Wizard
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater Cobra
Randy Orton b. Miz RKO