klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Bayley is officially out of Summerslam with a separated shoulder.
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2017
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
It’s one of the last shows before Summerslam and there’s a big main event on tap. This week will feature Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman in a last man standing match with Brock Lesnar in the house as well. Other than that we need a new #1 contender to Alexa Bliss as Bayley is out of Summerslam with a separated shoulder. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We start fast this week as Miz and company are in the ring for MizTV. Miz is tired of being blindsided on his own show so he wants Jason Jordan out here right now. It’s Kurt Angle instead, who has his own guest for the show: Brock Lesnar. The place goes coconuts for Lesnar and Paul Heyman, but Miz cuts Paul off because this is his show. Miz talks about how it’s almost a guarantee that Lesnar is losing the title because all three challengers are going to gang up on Lesnar. And remember, if Brock loses, he’s gone for good. If Miz is a betting man, he’s picking one of the challengers to leave as champion.
It’s time for Heyman to talk and he gets straight to the point: “Do you and your wife ever role play?” Heyman loves the idea of role play so let’s have Miz play Roman Reigns, Bo Dallas play Samoa Joe and Curtis Axel play Braun Strowman. Now let’s preview Summerslam. Three F5’s later, Lesnar calmly leaves.
Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus
Seth charges at him to start but gets knocked outside for a fireman’s carry from Sheamus. Back in and Seth slugs away to knock Sheamus outside again. Sheamus powerslams him onto the apron though and we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing a Brogue Kick and taking an enziguri to put both guys down. Sheamus pulls himself to the top but has to fight off a superkick. That’s fine with Seth who gets two off a superkick. Seth grabs the Sling Blade and heads up top for the frog splash but has to go after Cesaro. The distraction lets Sheamus grab a rollup for the pin at 8:39.
Post match Seth goes after both of them but gets beaten down. Ambrose doesn’t make a save.
Post break Rollins yells at at Ambrose in the back but Dean says he’s not helping Seth because of getting stabbed in the back three years ago. Tonight Dean will face Cesaro, alone.
Jason Jordan vs. Curtis Axel
Jordan gets SILENCE from what has been a white hot crowd all night. Hang on a second as Axel is too banged up to wrestle. Angle isn’t happy but there’s a random wrestler nearby and Angle sends him in instead.
Jason Jordan vs. Jean Pierre Goulet
The LET’S GO JOBBER chants start things up. Jordan throws him down without any issue and starts with the suplexes. Goulet’s offense has no effect so the straps come down. Jordan hits the shoulder in the corner and the belly to back neckbreaker gives him the pin at 1:21.
Here’s Bayley with less emotion than you’ll ever see from her. She’s been through all kinds of emotions this week and all the messages from the fans have touched her. The fans boo Bayley out of the building and she even acknowledges it before continuing. We need a new #1 contender for Summerslam and Bayley wants it to be Sasha Banks.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox vs. Emma
Alexa comes out to do commentary to one heck of a reaction. Sasha gets sent outside early on with Emma dropping her back first onto the apron. Fox gets kicked in the face for her efforts and Emma takes her down for two. Alicia comes back and kicks away, setting up that perfect northern lights suplex for two of her own. Sasha is right back with a Shining Wizard to drop Emma and the double knees to Fox in the corner. Emma steals the cover and gets a VERY close two with the fans booing the kickout. Fox gets caught in the Bank Statement but Emma tries a rollup, only to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 3:48.
Enzo Amore brings out Big Show to talk about Show knocking Big Cass out last week. Cue Anderson and Gallows of all people to say Enzo and Show haven’t won a thing. How about a match, with Anderson and Gallows having a chance to beat up two more nerds. Enzo says they look like Dr. Evil and Mini Me so the match is on.
Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Show
Show throws Anderson outside to start and we take a break fifteen seconds in. Back with Enzo in trouble (of course) and not being able to get over for a tag. Cue Big Cass to distract Show, allowing Gallows to kick him in the head. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and Anderson gets the pin at 6:38.
Cass kicks Show in the face again but Enzo dives through the ropes to take him out. Enzo gets beaten up but draws Cass into a chance, capped off by the KO Punch from Show.
Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. After some required TOO SWEET chanting, Balor talks about kicking Bray’s teeth down his neck last week. If there’s one thing Finn knows, it’s that you have to kick fear in the face….and here’s Wyatt to interrupt. Bray appears in the ring but Balor is on the top. They fight for a bit until Bray disappears, only to reappear on screen to say he enjoys Balor’s bravery.
Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose
Ambrose takes him down in a hammerlock to start as Booker compares the Rollins/Ambrose issues to being cheated on. Booker: “You ever had a girlfriend Cole?” Cole: “I’m actually married Booker. Twenty five years.” So…..yes you have? Cesaro slugs away as Booker says Cesaro wants to be a champion. After Cole yells about how Cesaro already is a champion, Booker clarifies that he meant heavyweight champion but Cole says he has no idea what Booker is talking about.
Ambrose gets in some right hands in the corner but is dropped face first onto the hook between the buckle and the post. A neckbreaker gets Dean out of trouble and he puts Cesaro on the floor for a dive. Sheamus offers a distraction though and Cesaro uppercuts Dean down as we take a break. Back with Dean breaking up a superplex so Cesaro stands on top of the post and loads up a superplex to the floor.
Since that would mean a bad case of death, Ambrose superplexes him back to the mat instead. Cesaro pops up and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by some forearms to the back. An uppercut rocks Ambrose for two but he hammers away to comeback. Cesaro gets knocked to the floor but blocks the suicide dive with another uppercut for a very close two.
Another superplex is broken up and Dean grabs la majistral for two. Cesaro is right back with the Sharpshooter but Dean crawls over to the ropes for the break. Dean sends him outside for a suicide dive and both guys are down again. Back in and Sheamus offers a distraction but Dean is smart enough to ignore it and grabs a rollup for the pin at 19:15.
Post match the champs attack but Rollins immediately runs out for the save. Ambrose looks at Seth and eventually holds out the Shield fist. Rollins looks at it….but shakes his head and walks away.
We look back at the opening sequence.
We look back at Akira Tozawa defeating Ariya Daivari to become #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title.
Titus International celebrates when Neville comes in to say Tozawa might not be getting the shot.
Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari
Titus jumps in on commentary and calls Tozawa his property. Daivari is smart enough to go after the previously bad shoulder to start, followed by a clothesline in the corner for two. Tozawa comes right back with a suicide dive to take Daivari down, followed by the snap belly to back suplex. The top rope backsplash ends Daivari at 3:51.
Roman Reigns says he retired Undertaker and he’ll be happy to retire Brock as well.
Nia Jax vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke
The winner faces Sasha next week for the title shot at Summerslam. Nia runs both of them over to start but misses a charge and gets knocked out to the floor. Mickie escapes a slam and gets two off a neckbreaker but Nia is getting back in. The monster wrecks everyone in sight and drops the leg on Dana for the pin at 3:04.
Goldust is ready to unveil his greatest creation in the near future.
Cass wants Show at Summerslam but he wants Enzo suspended above the ring in a shark cage. Angle makes the match and hopes Enzo isn’t afraid of heights.
Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns
Last Man Standing. Reigns meets him n the aisle but gets thrown from the floor into the ring. It’s too early for a Samoan drop as Strowman pounds Reigns down for an early five count. Reigns is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Strowman throwing the steps inside but Reigns slugs away for a breather. A pair of big boots stagger Strowman and a shot with the steps puts Strowman on a knee.
Reigns hits him in the face with the steps and Strowman goes down, allowing Reigns to hit him in the chest with the steps over and over. Back up at seven and Strowman blocks the Superman Punch by sending Reigns into the corner. That spinning Big Ending gives Braun a breather but Roman gets in a quick Superman Punch to put both guys down. Strowman is back up with a dropkick of all things but he misses a charge and hits the post, knocking him out to the floor.
Reigns gets in the apron dropkick and it’s table time. He takes too long with it though as Strowman clotheslines him down again and sets up the table in the ring. Again it takes too long though and Reigns hits a Samoan drop through the table, only to have Strowman roll outside to get on his feet. Reigns goes after him so Strowman LAUNCHES the timekeeper’s chair at him, knocking Reigns completely silly for nine. Great visual and if Strowman doesn’t win, I have no idea why he didn’t do it there.
They fight into the crowd and up to the announcers’ table with Reigns hitting another running dropkick. Strowman is up again and throws Roman into the screen. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns gets to his feet for two Superman Punches. The spear is blocked with a big boot, only to have Reigns pop back up and hit the spear. Reigns pulls himself up….and Samoa Joe reaches out from the crowd to put Reigns in the Koquina Clutch. The THANK YOU JOE chant starts up and Strowman is up at nine for the win at 22:00.
Results
Sheamus b. Seth Rollins – Rollup
Jason Jordan b. Jean Pierre Goulet – Belly to back neckbreaker
Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox and Emma – Bank Statement to Emma
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Show – Big boot to Amore
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Rollup
Akira Tozawa b. Ariya Daivari – Top rope backsplash
Nia Jax b. Dana Brooke and Mickie James – Legdrop to Brooke
Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Samoa Joe choked Reigns out
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2017
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re still in Toronto this week and it’s time to keep hamming home the Summerslam build. The main event this week is Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal because IT CAN NEVER BE OVER. Other than that we have a pair of women’s matches and Shane McMahon talking a lot because that’s what he does. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura last week with Nakamura becoming #1 contender. It also includes Baron Corbin attacking both of them after the show and taking an AA through the announcers’ table.
Here’s Cena to open things up. After acknowledging that some fans are happy to see him while some of them aren’t, he goes over losing to Nakamura last week. Then he found out that Nakamura isn’t scared of anything and that Nakamura hits REALLY hard. They were into the match and then he remembers waking up because he had lost. No blind referee and no Montreal Screwjob (fans: “YOU SCREWED BRET!”
. No, he just lost. Then he got up, dusted himself off, and shook Nakamura’s hand because he was the better man.
This brings out Baron Corbin, with new music. Cena cuts him off and calls Corbin a dumpster fire, just like someone’s sign says. Corbin teases heading to the ring but decides not to because he has the briefcase. There’s no point to Corbin going after him so he’ll take his leave. Cue Daniel Bryan, to say it’s Corbin vs. Cena at Summerslam.
Usos vs. Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger
Tye hammers on Jimmy to start and Jey has to save his brother from a very fast Helluva Kick. That means a break about forty five seconds in because that’s how WWE works these days. Back with Jey missing a splash in the corner and Sami flipping out of a belly to back suplex for the hot tag to Tye. The ten stomps in the corner have Jimmy in trouble but everything breaks down. Sami hits a big flip dive over the top, followed by Dillinger hitting a Sky High for two on Jey. The Tyebreaker is broken up though and Jimmy kicks the knee, setting up the Tequila Sunrise to make Dillinger tap at 6:45.
Post match the Usos call out New Day so here’s Big E. for a distraction, allowing Kofi and Xavier to come in and clean house. Jey has to save Jimmy from a beating with a chair.
Orton is ready for Mahal tonight.
It’s time for Fashion Peaks with Tyler Breeze telling Ascension that they were in his dream last week. They’re more interested in pie as Breeze tries to figure out the dream. They leave and Fandango appears behind Breeze with his tie wrapped around his head. Breeze: “Don’t tell me it takes eighteen episodes to return you to normal!” Some coffee brings Fandango back to normal and he says he was kidnapped by aliens. He could leave any time he wanted but the anal probes kept him around. Fandango: “UH…..I mean wardrobes!”
Apparently the aliens gave him the ability to see the future and he knows that whoever walks through that door next stole Tully the horse. This brings in…...ARN ANDERSON, to ask where he can find catering. Fandango asks if he destroyed Tully and Arn admits that he did because everyone knows Arn was the hoss of the team. Arn takes some donuts and leaves, with Tyler saying their work has just begun. So yeah, that was awesome.
Lana vs. Charlotte
We see a clip from backstage last week with Lana saying Tamina is her inspiration. Charlotte throws her down to start and seems to enjoy chopping away. Lana’s sunset flip is a complete failure and a backslide is blocked just as easily. Charlotte struts and WOO’s at her but Lana slaps her in the face. That means a big boot into the Figure Eight to make Lana tap at 2:28. Lana is still over matched but she didn’t get embarrassed here, at least not like she did before.
Here’s Shane McMahon to talk about being guest referee for the US Title match at Summerslam. Shane gets straight to the point and brings out Kevin Owens and AJ Styles. The boss asks Owens about what he said last week when Owens ranted about Shane being a horrible referee. Owens apologizes but suggests that Shane might screw him just like Bret Hart. Kevin: “Of course, he deserved it!” You can imagine the hatred this brings so Owens calls himself another legendary Canadian. He’s worried about AJ though because he and Shane had so many issues just back in March.
AJ doesn’t buy the idea of a McMahon as referee but Shane says he doesn’t operate like that. Owens isn’t done yet and brings up a clip from 1998 with Shane as a guest referee. He screwed Steve Austin that night and Owens says there are several other options, all available on the WWE Network.
Shane says he doesn’t trust Owens but he doesn’t recommend giving him a reason to get involved. Styles wants to forget about Shane and fight right now. That’s not cool with Owens though as he’d rather have the match in an American city that matters. A fight is about to break out with Shane getting in the middle of it, earning himself a Pele kick.
Lana is annoyed at her loss when Tamina comes in to laugh at her for wanting to be a more ravishing version of her (Tamina). The loss was bad, but now Lana is going to help Tamina get hers. I have no idea what any of that means but Tamina being involved takes away most of the potential interest I could have.
Naomi vs. Carmella
Non-title. Naomi kicks her in the head to start and hits a sliding slap to put Carmella on the floor. Back from a break with Carmella putting on a chinlock until Naomi starts fighting back with a jumping elbow and the dancing kicks. A running jawbreaker drops Carmella and Naomi goes up, only to have Carmella grab her hair. The referee pushes her away but here’s James Ellsworth from underneath the ring to shove Naomi off the top. Carmella gets in a superkick for the pin at 6:19.
Carmella doesn’t even tease cashing in the briefcase because that’s not what the script calls for at the moment so there’s no point in acting like it’s happening yet.
Post break Natalya tells Carmella and Ellsworth to stay out of her business at Summerslam. Carmella threatens her with a cash-in.
Earlier today, Nakamura sat down with Renee Young to talk about becoming #1 contender. He’s faced top level talent in NXT and even more since he’s gotten here, but Cena has been the man for a long time. Nakamura beat him anyway and will be watching tonight’s main event. At Summerslam, the Nakamura dynasty begins.
Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton
Non-title and the Singh Brothers are gone due to injuries. Orton hammers away to start and takes it to the floor for some whips into the barricade. The belly to back suplex onto the barricade sets up a clothesline, followed by another drop onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Mahal stomps away to the biggest face pop of his career. Another clothesline sends Mahal back outside but he shoves Orton away to break up the RKO through the table. Back with Mahal dropping some knees but missing a charge into the post.
Orton gets two off a superplex and rains down some right hands in the corner. The powerslam gets two and JBL talks about Mahal being all alone like Gilligan. Does JBL not understand the concept of Gilligan’s Island? Mahal gets two off a jumping knee to the face but the Khallas is countered into the hanging DDT. The RKO is countered and Mahal tries another Khallas, only to have Orton reverse into the RKO for the pin at 11:45.
Orton goes to leave and gets superkicked by Rusev to end the show.
Results
Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight
Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick
Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO
Wednesday
NXT
Date: August 9, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Mauro Ranallo
With just two shows to go before the biggest show of the year, it’s time to really push home the main event and that’s what we’ll be doing this week. Tonight NXT Champion Bobby Roode will be in the ring with Drew McIntyre for a showdown, as well as getting ready for everything else we have on tap for Brooklyn. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sanity through the crowd with Nikki Cross shouting about wanting the Authors of Pain to get out here. The Authors don’t make them wait long but Eric Young makes his return and helps beat them down. Razar is tied to the barricade as Akum is destroyed. Eventually Razar pulls the barricade to the ring but gets beaten down as well. Cross grabs the belts and Sanity leaves with them.
We look back at Ember Moon laying out Asuka with the Eclipse last week.
Video on the Street Profits, who debut tonight.
Billie Kay and Peyton Royce are going to explain how to do perfect makeup but stop to make fun of Ruby Riot instead.
Metro Brothers vs. Street Profits
The Metro Brothers are a couple of greasers named Chris and JC. The Profits are NXT mainstays Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins in another repackaging. Ford and Dawkins dance to the ring with Ford holding out a cup, presumably to ask for change. Angelo shoulders Chris down and hits a good looking armdrag before handing it off to Ford for a basement dropkick.
Back up and Ford flips over Chris’ back, only to get taken into the wrong corner. The Metro dominance lasts all of five seconds until it’s back to Dawkins for a spear. A Sky High into a frog splash gives Ford the pin on JC at 2:19. The Profits looked very crisp and have the charisma to back it up, at least so far.
We look at Hideo Itami trying to attack Aleister Black in the parking lot last week. They’ll fight at Takeover.
General Manager William Regal brings out McIntyre and Roode for the face to face meeting. Roode comes out with a security team in his corner though as Roderick Strong is running around like a crazy man and we need to protect the big money match. Well to protect Roode that is because he’s the big money. Roode talks about Drew feeling entitled to his shot but he’s done everything he’s set out to do.
This is Roode’s NXT and the fans know that he’s the one. Drew thinks Roode might have had the best year ever for an NXT Champion but there’s one problem: Roode is kind of a jerk. That’s just going to make taking the title from him all the sweeter though. This brings out Strong, to say that he’s not done with Roode no matter what Regal says. Strong says this isn’t about the NXT Title but rather Roode disrespecting Strong’s family.
All Strong wants is one more fight with Roode and it doesn’t even have to be for the title. Regal tries to calm him down but Roode says he’ll fight Strong anytime with the title on the line….if Strong can beat Drew first. If Strong wins, he can fight Roode after Takeover, which will be Roode vs. McIntyre for the title no matter what. Drew agrees to the match next week and Regal eventually agrees.
Johnny Gargano was nervous last week but needs a match at Takeover so he can feel the rush of walking through the curtain in front of a Brooklyn crowd.
Oney Lorcan vs. Danny Burch
Rematch from when Lorcan beat him a few weeks back. They lock up to start as Mauro compares Burch’s boxing career to Conor McGregor’s. Neither can get much of an advantage out of a lockup so Burch grabs a quickly broken cravate. Back up and Lorcan’s leapfrog is countered into something like a flapjack, followed by some European uppercuts. Lorcan sends him hard into the corner though and we take a break.
Back with Burch still in trouble but blocking a running European uppercut with a raised boot. Burch can’t hit the Tower of London so he settles for a release German suplex. A lariat gets two and now the Tower of London off the top rope gets two more. Lorcan comes right back with a running Blockbuster and tells Burch to hit him. A slugout goes to Lorcan but he can’t get the half crab. He can get a regular Boston crab though, only to have Burch reverse into a cradle for the pin at 12:52.
They shake hands post match.
No Way Jose vs. Andrade Cien Almas
Jose dances through the crowd to get to the ring. It worked so well for Adam Rose. Almas has Zelina Vega with him. Jose dances his way out of a waistlock and Almas has a breather on the floor. Back in and a flapjack drops Almas again and he’s knocked to the floor for a second time. Vega yells at him this time and Almas responds by pulling Jose down by the afro. Jose gets stomped down in the corner and there are the running knees to the head. The hammerlock DDT ends Jose at 3:46.
Post match Vega goes to commentary and says, in a very New York accent, that she wants Almas on the grand stage. If Johnny Gargano still wants an opponent, they’ll see him in Brooklyn.
Results
Street Profits b. Metro Brothers – Frog splash to JC
Danny Burch b. Oney Lorcan – Rollup
Andrade Cien Almas b. No Way Jose – Hammerlock DDT
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 10, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
The battle between Alberto El Patron and LAX continues but this time around LAX has some help in the form of Low Ki. Last week Low Ki helped LAX against El Patron and his family, revealing himself as the newest member of the team. Other than that we’ll find out the other finalist in the Super X Cup tournament. Let’s get to it.
We open with LAX and the Veterans of War brawling in the parking lot. They’ll fight for the Tag Team Titles later tonight. I like the idea of pushing the Veterans of War but is there a reason they weren’t even mentioned last week?
Video on the Last Knockout Standing match between Sienna and Rosemary with Sienna narrating about how you have to govern in light or darkness but the hero always falls.
Opening sequence.
Sienna is sitting in the ring and says she’s the epitome of a champion. She’s dealt with every challenge Karen Jarrett has thrown at her but now she has a mystery opponent at Destination X. This show isn’t continuing until she gets some answers, so here’s Karen to respond. Sienna says no one can be ready for her in a week but Karen says the opponent is always ready. In the worst surprise ever, it’s Gail Kim. I'm laughing. Really, I am. We're supposed to be stunned that Gail Kim is getting a title shot. I'm laughing. The fight is on with Gail diving off the apron with a clothesline and some right hands. Referees break it up.
Joseph Park gives Grado a pep talk before they have a handicap match against Kongo Kong later. Park says his football coach taught him that the fear of the hit is worse than the fear itself. Grado doesn’t know what that means and Park doesn’t either. Grado: “Why don’t you call and ask him?” Park: “He died a few years ago.”
Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi
Fantasma and Kid start things up with an exchange of non-near falls into a standoff. Garza comes in and eats a basement dropkick for two but catches Marufuchi with a Codebreaker for the same. Everything breaks down with Kid and Fantasma both hitting huge dives to the floor. Back in and a hurricanrana sets up a frog splash for two on Garza but Kid takes Fantasma down with a tornado DDT.
In quite the complicated spot, Garza picks Fantasma up for a powerbomb while also holding Marufuchi in a World’s Strongest Slam. At the same time, Kid adds a top rope leg lariat to Fantasma to make it kind of a Doomsday Device to put both opponents down at the same time. Naturally, it gets two. Kid misses a Phoenix Splash and it’s time for that stupid deal where you throw partners together and make one DDT the other.
We pause for Garza to take off his pants but thankfully the distraction lets Marufuchi and Fantasma superkick him down. Something like a GTS puts Marufuchi down but a double kick to the head drops Fantasma and Kid to put all four on the mat. Since they haven’t gotten enough stuff in yet, Fantasma hits a dive onto Kid, leaving Garza to get in the stripping. He misses a moonsault to give Marufuchi two but Sliced Bread #2 finally puts Garza away at 9:20.
That being said, there’s FAR worse stuff they could be using this time for and the match was fun. It’s just not as awesome as I think GFW thinks it is. If nothing else, it would be nice to have them put some of these teams towards a title instead of just having them out there doing random flips and superkicks.
Kongo Kong vs. Grado/Joseph Park
Grado starts, looks at Kong, and hands it off to Park. Joseph hurts himself on a headbutt attempt but Kong misses a Cannonball. Some splashes in the corner have Kong in some trouble but he runs them over with clotheslines. The Cannonball puts Park away at 2:46. Remember a few years ago when Park was one of the most entertaining characters in wrestling because he got to show off how good he could be with comedy and let you see how much more he could do than Abyss? Well screw that because we need this fat, embarrassment to wrestling named Kongo Kong to get a monster push instead.
Post match Kong loads up a top rope splash to both of them but Laurel Van Ness comes down and slaps him. Kong loads her up for something but Tyrus of all people comes down for the save. Laurel and Kong bail.
Low Ki, Trevor Lee and Lashley are ready for a six man tag tonight. Low Ki speaks Spanish and rants about Alberto turning down an offer from Konnan.
Video on Trevor Lee stealing Sonjay Dutt’s X-Division Title and declaring himself the real champion. Lee says he never got his rematch and he has the belt so he’s the title’s rightful owner. They meet in a ladder match next week.
Jeff Jarrett talks about Lashley being a pro wrestler and an MMA fighter. The head of Lashley’s MMA gym wants him to pick MMA but he and Jarrett have agreed to work together.
Dutch Mantel sat down with Matt Sydal and Lashley to talk about their upcoming match. Lashley says he might be the #1 athlete in the world because he dominates two sports. Sydal says he’s the #3 X-Division athlete in the world, which Lashley laughs off because Sydal is just an X-Division guy. A fight nearly breaks out and security makes the save.
Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Veterans of War
LAX is defending and this is a street fight. Before the match, Konnan brags about how awesome LAX is. The brawl is on in a hurry on the floor with some trashcan lid shots putting LAX in early trouble. Santana gets belly to belly suplexed onto the ramp and it’s already table time. The Veterans botch the MOAB through the table on Ortiz but Homicide pulls the referee out at two.
Back from a break with Mayweather handcuffed to the ropes and LAX stomping away. Wilcox cleans house with a Samoan drop but Ortiz sends him into a chair in the corner for two. Something like Poetry in Motion puts Wilcox through a table in the corner to retain the titles at 11:37.
Matt Sydal, Alberto El Patron and Sonjay Dutt are ready for the six man.
Super X Cup Semifinals: Taiji Ishimori vs. ACH
ACH headlocks him down to start but Ishimori spins away and grabs a headscissors to put ACH on the floor. Back from a break with Ishimori hitting a double stomp out of the corner for two. ACH gets in a hard clothesline but his back gives out on a suplex. Ishimori’s superkick is no sold so ACH hits a clothesline for two. Ishimori hits a gutbuster and a 450 for the pin at 10:28.
That’s not enough to make this feel important and the tournament just keeps going with no reason for fans to care. That’s the promotion in one statement: these people are having watchable matches but there’s no reason to care about any of them. That’s really not good and it’s plagued this company for years.
Dezmond Xavier comes out to stare Ishimori down.
Recap of Low Ki joining LAX.
We run down the Destination X card.
Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki vs. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal
Alberto goes after Low Ki to start and it’s quickly off to Dutt and Sydal for stereo standing moonsaults. Sydal stays in and kicks away at Lashley but gets taken down with a crossbody. Back from an early break with Sydal getting choked by Lashley and then chopped by Low Ki. Pope: “There’s something about Low Ki that makes you think HITMAN!”
Lee comes in to beat on Sydal too and Lashley adds a running shoulder in the corner. Matt gets out of an abdominal stretch but gets put in a dragon sleeper. Low Ki misses a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Dutt for a hurricanrana. A roll into a dropkick drops Lee but Lashley comes in for a Dominator to Dutt.
Sonjay finally gets in a tornado DDT to escape and the hot tag brings in Alberto, because he’s always the one who gets to do the big house cleaning segment. Alberto powerslams Low Ki and hits a suicide dive onto Lashley. Everything breaks down and Alberto hits everyone in the knees but Dutt springboards into a powerslam from Lashley. The Warrior’s Way ends Dutt at 17:48.
Results
Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Sliced Bread #2 to Garza
Kongo Kong b. Grado/Joseph Park – Cannonball to Park
LAX b. Veterans of War – Flip dive through a table
Taiji Ishimori b. ACH – 450
Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki b. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal – Warrior’s Way to Dutt
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Angelina Love has left GFW.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Sheamus b. Seth Rollins – Rollup
Jason Jordan b. Jean Pierre Goulet – Belly to back neckbreaker
Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox and Emma – Bank Statement to Emma
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Show – Big boot to Amore
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Rollup
Akira Tozawa b. Ariya Daivari – Top rope backsplash
Nia Jax b. Dana Brooke and Mickie James – Legdrop to Brooke
Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Samoa Joe choked Reigns out
Smackdown
Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight
Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick
Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO
NXT
Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight
Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick
Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO
Impact Wrestling
Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Sliced Bread #2 to Garza
Kongo Kong b. Grado/Joseph Park – Cannonball to Park
LAX b. Veterans of War – Flip dive through a table
Taiji Ishimori b. ACH – 450
Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki b. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal – Warrior’s Way to Dutt
Bayley is officially out of Summerslam with a separated shoulder.
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2017
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
It’s one of the last shows before Summerslam and there’s a big main event on tap. This week will feature Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman in a last man standing match with Brock Lesnar in the house as well. Other than that we need a new #1 contender to Alexa Bliss as Bayley is out of Summerslam with a separated shoulder. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We start fast this week as Miz and company are in the ring for MizTV. Miz is tired of being blindsided on his own show so he wants Jason Jordan out here right now. It’s Kurt Angle instead, who has his own guest for the show: Brock Lesnar. The place goes coconuts for Lesnar and Paul Heyman, but Miz cuts Paul off because this is his show. Miz talks about how it’s almost a guarantee that Lesnar is losing the title because all three challengers are going to gang up on Lesnar. And remember, if Brock loses, he’s gone for good. If Miz is a betting man, he’s picking one of the challengers to leave as champion.
It’s time for Heyman to talk and he gets straight to the point: “Do you and your wife ever role play?” Heyman loves the idea of role play so let’s have Miz play Roman Reigns, Bo Dallas play Samoa Joe and Curtis Axel play Braun Strowman. Now let’s preview Summerslam. Three F5’s later, Lesnar calmly leaves.
Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus
Seth charges at him to start but gets knocked outside for a fireman’s carry from Sheamus. Back in and Seth slugs away to knock Sheamus outside again. Sheamus powerslams him onto the apron though and we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing a Brogue Kick and taking an enziguri to put both guys down. Sheamus pulls himself to the top but has to fight off a superkick. That’s fine with Seth who gets two off a superkick. Seth grabs the Sling Blade and heads up top for the frog splash but has to go after Cesaro. The distraction lets Sheamus grab a rollup for the pin at 8:39.
Post match Seth goes after both of them but gets beaten down. Ambrose doesn’t make a save.
Post break Rollins yells at at Ambrose in the back but Dean says he’s not helping Seth because of getting stabbed in the back three years ago. Tonight Dean will face Cesaro, alone.
Jason Jordan vs. Curtis Axel
Jordan gets SILENCE from what has been a white hot crowd all night. Hang on a second as Axel is too banged up to wrestle. Angle isn’t happy but there’s a random wrestler nearby and Angle sends him in instead.
Jason Jordan vs. Jean Pierre Goulet
The LET’S GO JOBBER chants start things up. Jordan throws him down without any issue and starts with the suplexes. Goulet’s offense has no effect so the straps come down. Jordan hits the shoulder in the corner and the belly to back neckbreaker gives him the pin at 1:21.
Here’s Bayley with less emotion than you’ll ever see from her. She’s been through all kinds of emotions this week and all the messages from the fans have touched her. The fans boo Bayley out of the building and she even acknowledges it before continuing. We need a new #1 contender for Summerslam and Bayley wants it to be Sasha Banks.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox vs. Emma
Alexa comes out to do commentary to one heck of a reaction. Sasha gets sent outside early on with Emma dropping her back first onto the apron. Fox gets kicked in the face for her efforts and Emma takes her down for two. Alicia comes back and kicks away, setting up that perfect northern lights suplex for two of her own. Sasha is right back with a Shining Wizard to drop Emma and the double knees to Fox in the corner. Emma steals the cover and gets a VERY close two with the fans booing the kickout. Fox gets caught in the Bank Statement but Emma tries a rollup, only to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 3:48.
Enzo Amore brings out Big Show to talk about Show knocking Big Cass out last week. Cue Anderson and Gallows of all people to say Enzo and Show haven’t won a thing. How about a match, with Anderson and Gallows having a chance to beat up two more nerds. Enzo says they look like Dr. Evil and Mini Me so the match is on.
Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Show
Show throws Anderson outside to start and we take a break fifteen seconds in. Back with Enzo in trouble (of course) and not being able to get over for a tag. Cue Big Cass to distract Show, allowing Gallows to kick him in the head. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and Anderson gets the pin at 6:38.
Cass kicks Show in the face again but Enzo dives through the ropes to take him out. Enzo gets beaten up but draws Cass into a chance, capped off by the KO Punch from Show.
Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. After some required TOO SWEET chanting, Balor talks about kicking Bray’s teeth down his neck last week. If there’s one thing Finn knows, it’s that you have to kick fear in the face….and here’s Wyatt to interrupt. Bray appears in the ring but Balor is on the top. They fight for a bit until Bray disappears, only to reappear on screen to say he enjoys Balor’s bravery.
Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose
Ambrose takes him down in a hammerlock to start as Booker compares the Rollins/Ambrose issues to being cheated on. Booker: “You ever had a girlfriend Cole?” Cole: “I’m actually married Booker. Twenty five years.” So…..yes you have? Cesaro slugs away as Booker says Cesaro wants to be a champion. After Cole yells about how Cesaro already is a champion, Booker clarifies that he meant heavyweight champion but Cole says he has no idea what Booker is talking about.
Ambrose gets in some right hands in the corner but is dropped face first onto the hook between the buckle and the post. A neckbreaker gets Dean out of trouble and he puts Cesaro on the floor for a dive. Sheamus offers a distraction though and Cesaro uppercuts Dean down as we take a break. Back with Dean breaking up a superplex so Cesaro stands on top of the post and loads up a superplex to the floor.
Since that would mean a bad case of death, Ambrose superplexes him back to the mat instead. Cesaro pops up and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by some forearms to the back. An uppercut rocks Ambrose for two but he hammers away to comeback. Cesaro gets knocked to the floor but blocks the suicide dive with another uppercut for a very close two.
Another superplex is broken up and Dean grabs la majistral for two. Cesaro is right back with the Sharpshooter but Dean crawls over to the ropes for the break. Dean sends him outside for a suicide dive and both guys are down again. Back in and Sheamus offers a distraction but Dean is smart enough to ignore it and grabs a rollup for the pin at 19:15.
Post match the champs attack but Rollins immediately runs out for the save. Ambrose looks at Seth and eventually holds out the Shield fist. Rollins looks at it….but shakes his head and walks away.
We look back at the opening sequence.
We look back at Akira Tozawa defeating Ariya Daivari to become #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title.
Titus International celebrates when Neville comes in to say Tozawa might not be getting the shot.
Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari
Titus jumps in on commentary and calls Tozawa his property. Daivari is smart enough to go after the previously bad shoulder to start, followed by a clothesline in the corner for two. Tozawa comes right back with a suicide dive to take Daivari down, followed by the snap belly to back suplex. The top rope backsplash ends Daivari at 3:51.
Roman Reigns says he retired Undertaker and he’ll be happy to retire Brock as well.
Nia Jax vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke
The winner faces Sasha next week for the title shot at Summerslam. Nia runs both of them over to start but misses a charge and gets knocked out to the floor. Mickie escapes a slam and gets two off a neckbreaker but Nia is getting back in. The monster wrecks everyone in sight and drops the leg on Dana for the pin at 3:04.
Goldust is ready to unveil his greatest creation in the near future.
Cass wants Show at Summerslam but he wants Enzo suspended above the ring in a shark cage. Angle makes the match and hopes Enzo isn’t afraid of heights.
Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns
Last Man Standing. Reigns meets him n the aisle but gets thrown from the floor into the ring. It’s too early for a Samoan drop as Strowman pounds Reigns down for an early five count. Reigns is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Strowman throwing the steps inside but Reigns slugs away for a breather. A pair of big boots stagger Strowman and a shot with the steps puts Strowman on a knee.
Reigns hits him in the face with the steps and Strowman goes down, allowing Reigns to hit him in the chest with the steps over and over. Back up at seven and Strowman blocks the Superman Punch by sending Reigns into the corner. That spinning Big Ending gives Braun a breather but Roman gets in a quick Superman Punch to put both guys down. Strowman is back up with a dropkick of all things but he misses a charge and hits the post, knocking him out to the floor.
Reigns gets in the apron dropkick and it’s table time. He takes too long with it though as Strowman clotheslines him down again and sets up the table in the ring. Again it takes too long though and Reigns hits a Samoan drop through the table, only to have Strowman roll outside to get on his feet. Reigns goes after him so Strowman LAUNCHES the timekeeper’s chair at him, knocking Reigns completely silly for nine. Great visual and if Strowman doesn’t win, I have no idea why he didn’t do it there.
They fight into the crowd and up to the announcers’ table with Reigns hitting another running dropkick. Strowman is up again and throws Roman into the screen. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns gets to his feet for two Superman Punches. The spear is blocked with a big boot, only to have Reigns pop back up and hit the spear. Reigns pulls himself up….and Samoa Joe reaches out from the crowd to put Reigns in the Koquina Clutch. The THANK YOU JOE chant starts up and Strowman is up at nine for the win at 22:00.
Results
Sheamus b. Seth Rollins – Rollup
Jason Jordan b. Jean Pierre Goulet – Belly to back neckbreaker
Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox and Emma – Bank Statement to Emma
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Show – Big boot to Amore
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Rollup
Akira Tozawa b. Ariya Daivari – Top rope backsplash
Nia Jax b. Dana Brooke and Mickie James – Legdrop to Brooke
Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Samoa Joe choked Reigns out
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2017
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re still in Toronto this week and it’s time to keep hamming home the Summerslam build. The main event this week is Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal because IT CAN NEVER BE OVER. Other than that we have a pair of women’s matches and Shane McMahon talking a lot because that’s what he does. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura last week with Nakamura becoming #1 contender. It also includes Baron Corbin attacking both of them after the show and taking an AA through the announcers’ table.
Here’s Cena to open things up. After acknowledging that some fans are happy to see him while some of them aren’t, he goes over losing to Nakamura last week. Then he found out that Nakamura isn’t scared of anything and that Nakamura hits REALLY hard. They were into the match and then he remembers waking up because he had lost. No blind referee and no Montreal Screwjob (fans: “YOU SCREWED BRET!”
. No, he just lost. Then he got up, dusted himself off, and shook Nakamura’s hand because he was the better man.This brings out Baron Corbin, with new music. Cena cuts him off and calls Corbin a dumpster fire, just like someone’s sign says. Corbin teases heading to the ring but decides not to because he has the briefcase. There’s no point to Corbin going after him so he’ll take his leave. Cue Daniel Bryan, to say it’s Corbin vs. Cena at Summerslam.
Usos vs. Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger
Tye hammers on Jimmy to start and Jey has to save his brother from a very fast Helluva Kick. That means a break about forty five seconds in because that’s how WWE works these days. Back with Jey missing a splash in the corner and Sami flipping out of a belly to back suplex for the hot tag to Tye. The ten stomps in the corner have Jimmy in trouble but everything breaks down. Sami hits a big flip dive over the top, followed by Dillinger hitting a Sky High for two on Jey. The Tyebreaker is broken up though and Jimmy kicks the knee, setting up the Tequila Sunrise to make Dillinger tap at 6:45.
Post match the Usos call out New Day so here’s Big E. for a distraction, allowing Kofi and Xavier to come in and clean house. Jey has to save Jimmy from a beating with a chair.
Orton is ready for Mahal tonight.
It’s time for Fashion Peaks with Tyler Breeze telling Ascension that they were in his dream last week. They’re more interested in pie as Breeze tries to figure out the dream. They leave and Fandango appears behind Breeze with his tie wrapped around his head. Breeze: “Don’t tell me it takes eighteen episodes to return you to normal!” Some coffee brings Fandango back to normal and he says he was kidnapped by aliens. He could leave any time he wanted but the anal probes kept him around. Fandango: “UH…..I mean wardrobes!”
Apparently the aliens gave him the ability to see the future and he knows that whoever walks through that door next stole Tully the horse. This brings in…...ARN ANDERSON, to ask where he can find catering. Fandango asks if he destroyed Tully and Arn admits that he did because everyone knows Arn was the hoss of the team. Arn takes some donuts and leaves, with Tyler saying their work has just begun. So yeah, that was awesome.
Lana vs. Charlotte
We see a clip from backstage last week with Lana saying Tamina is her inspiration. Charlotte throws her down to start and seems to enjoy chopping away. Lana’s sunset flip is a complete failure and a backslide is blocked just as easily. Charlotte struts and WOO’s at her but Lana slaps her in the face. That means a big boot into the Figure Eight to make Lana tap at 2:28. Lana is still over matched but she didn’t get embarrassed here, at least not like she did before.
Here’s Shane McMahon to talk about being guest referee for the US Title match at Summerslam. Shane gets straight to the point and brings out Kevin Owens and AJ Styles. The boss asks Owens about what he said last week when Owens ranted about Shane being a horrible referee. Owens apologizes but suggests that Shane might screw him just like Bret Hart. Kevin: “Of course, he deserved it!” You can imagine the hatred this brings so Owens calls himself another legendary Canadian. He’s worried about AJ though because he and Shane had so many issues just back in March.
AJ doesn’t buy the idea of a McMahon as referee but Shane says he doesn’t operate like that. Owens isn’t done yet and brings up a clip from 1998 with Shane as a guest referee. He screwed Steve Austin that night and Owens says there are several other options, all available on the WWE Network.
Shane says he doesn’t trust Owens but he doesn’t recommend giving him a reason to get involved. Styles wants to forget about Shane and fight right now. That’s not cool with Owens though as he’d rather have the match in an American city that matters. A fight is about to break out with Shane getting in the middle of it, earning himself a Pele kick.
Lana is annoyed at her loss when Tamina comes in to laugh at her for wanting to be a more ravishing version of her (Tamina). The loss was bad, but now Lana is going to help Tamina get hers. I have no idea what any of that means but Tamina being involved takes away most of the potential interest I could have.
Naomi vs. Carmella
Non-title. Naomi kicks her in the head to start and hits a sliding slap to put Carmella on the floor. Back from a break with Carmella putting on a chinlock until Naomi starts fighting back with a jumping elbow and the dancing kicks. A running jawbreaker drops Carmella and Naomi goes up, only to have Carmella grab her hair. The referee pushes her away but here’s James Ellsworth from underneath the ring to shove Naomi off the top. Carmella gets in a superkick for the pin at 6:19.
Carmella doesn’t even tease cashing in the briefcase because that’s not what the script calls for at the moment so there’s no point in acting like it’s happening yet.
Post break Natalya tells Carmella and Ellsworth to stay out of her business at Summerslam. Carmella threatens her with a cash-in.
Earlier today, Nakamura sat down with Renee Young to talk about becoming #1 contender. He’s faced top level talent in NXT and even more since he’s gotten here, but Cena has been the man for a long time. Nakamura beat him anyway and will be watching tonight’s main event. At Summerslam, the Nakamura dynasty begins.
Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton
Non-title and the Singh Brothers are gone due to injuries. Orton hammers away to start and takes it to the floor for some whips into the barricade. The belly to back suplex onto the barricade sets up a clothesline, followed by another drop onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Mahal stomps away to the biggest face pop of his career. Another clothesline sends Mahal back outside but he shoves Orton away to break up the RKO through the table. Back with Mahal dropping some knees but missing a charge into the post.
Orton gets two off a superplex and rains down some right hands in the corner. The powerslam gets two and JBL talks about Mahal being all alone like Gilligan. Does JBL not understand the concept of Gilligan’s Island? Mahal gets two off a jumping knee to the face but the Khallas is countered into the hanging DDT. The RKO is countered and Mahal tries another Khallas, only to have Orton reverse into the RKO for the pin at 11:45.
Orton goes to leave and gets superkicked by Rusev to end the show.
Results
Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight
Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick
Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO
Wednesday
NXT
Date: August 9, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Mauro Ranallo
With just two shows to go before the biggest show of the year, it’s time to really push home the main event and that’s what we’ll be doing this week. Tonight NXT Champion Bobby Roode will be in the ring with Drew McIntyre for a showdown, as well as getting ready for everything else we have on tap for Brooklyn. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sanity through the crowd with Nikki Cross shouting about wanting the Authors of Pain to get out here. The Authors don’t make them wait long but Eric Young makes his return and helps beat them down. Razar is tied to the barricade as Akum is destroyed. Eventually Razar pulls the barricade to the ring but gets beaten down as well. Cross grabs the belts and Sanity leaves with them.
We look back at Ember Moon laying out Asuka with the Eclipse last week.
Video on the Street Profits, who debut tonight.
Billie Kay and Peyton Royce are going to explain how to do perfect makeup but stop to make fun of Ruby Riot instead.
Metro Brothers vs. Street Profits
The Metro Brothers are a couple of greasers named Chris and JC. The Profits are NXT mainstays Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins in another repackaging. Ford and Dawkins dance to the ring with Ford holding out a cup, presumably to ask for change. Angelo shoulders Chris down and hits a good looking armdrag before handing it off to Ford for a basement dropkick.
Back up and Ford flips over Chris’ back, only to get taken into the wrong corner. The Metro dominance lasts all of five seconds until it’s back to Dawkins for a spear. A Sky High into a frog splash gives Ford the pin on JC at 2:19. The Profits looked very crisp and have the charisma to back it up, at least so far.
We look at Hideo Itami trying to attack Aleister Black in the parking lot last week. They’ll fight at Takeover.
General Manager William Regal brings out McIntyre and Roode for the face to face meeting. Roode comes out with a security team in his corner though as Roderick Strong is running around like a crazy man and we need to protect the big money match. Well to protect Roode that is because he’s the big money. Roode talks about Drew feeling entitled to his shot but he’s done everything he’s set out to do.
This is Roode’s NXT and the fans know that he’s the one. Drew thinks Roode might have had the best year ever for an NXT Champion but there’s one problem: Roode is kind of a jerk. That’s just going to make taking the title from him all the sweeter though. This brings out Strong, to say that he’s not done with Roode no matter what Regal says. Strong says this isn’t about the NXT Title but rather Roode disrespecting Strong’s family.
All Strong wants is one more fight with Roode and it doesn’t even have to be for the title. Regal tries to calm him down but Roode says he’ll fight Strong anytime with the title on the line….if Strong can beat Drew first. If Strong wins, he can fight Roode after Takeover, which will be Roode vs. McIntyre for the title no matter what. Drew agrees to the match next week and Regal eventually agrees.
Johnny Gargano was nervous last week but needs a match at Takeover so he can feel the rush of walking through the curtain in front of a Brooklyn crowd.
Oney Lorcan vs. Danny Burch
Rematch from when Lorcan beat him a few weeks back. They lock up to start as Mauro compares Burch’s boxing career to Conor McGregor’s. Neither can get much of an advantage out of a lockup so Burch grabs a quickly broken cravate. Back up and Lorcan’s leapfrog is countered into something like a flapjack, followed by some European uppercuts. Lorcan sends him hard into the corner though and we take a break.
Back with Burch still in trouble but blocking a running European uppercut with a raised boot. Burch can’t hit the Tower of London so he settles for a release German suplex. A lariat gets two and now the Tower of London off the top rope gets two more. Lorcan comes right back with a running Blockbuster and tells Burch to hit him. A slugout goes to Lorcan but he can’t get the half crab. He can get a regular Boston crab though, only to have Burch reverse into a cradle for the pin at 12:52.
They shake hands post match.
No Way Jose vs. Andrade Cien Almas
Jose dances through the crowd to get to the ring. It worked so well for Adam Rose. Almas has Zelina Vega with him. Jose dances his way out of a waistlock and Almas has a breather on the floor. Back in and a flapjack drops Almas again and he’s knocked to the floor for a second time. Vega yells at him this time and Almas responds by pulling Jose down by the afro. Jose gets stomped down in the corner and there are the running knees to the head. The hammerlock DDT ends Jose at 3:46.
Post match Vega goes to commentary and says, in a very New York accent, that she wants Almas on the grand stage. If Johnny Gargano still wants an opponent, they’ll see him in Brooklyn.
Results
Street Profits b. Metro Brothers – Frog splash to JC
Danny Burch b. Oney Lorcan – Rollup
Andrade Cien Almas b. No Way Jose – Hammerlock DDT
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 10, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
The battle between Alberto El Patron and LAX continues but this time around LAX has some help in the form of Low Ki. Last week Low Ki helped LAX against El Patron and his family, revealing himself as the newest member of the team. Other than that we’ll find out the other finalist in the Super X Cup tournament. Let’s get to it.
We open with LAX and the Veterans of War brawling in the parking lot. They’ll fight for the Tag Team Titles later tonight. I like the idea of pushing the Veterans of War but is there a reason they weren’t even mentioned last week?
Video on the Last Knockout Standing match between Sienna and Rosemary with Sienna narrating about how you have to govern in light or darkness but the hero always falls.
Opening sequence.
Sienna is sitting in the ring and says she’s the epitome of a champion. She’s dealt with every challenge Karen Jarrett has thrown at her but now she has a mystery opponent at Destination X. This show isn’t continuing until she gets some answers, so here’s Karen to respond. Sienna says no one can be ready for her in a week but Karen says the opponent is always ready. In the worst surprise ever, it’s Gail Kim. I'm laughing. Really, I am. We're supposed to be stunned that Gail Kim is getting a title shot. I'm laughing. The fight is on with Gail diving off the apron with a clothesline and some right hands. Referees break it up.
Joseph Park gives Grado a pep talk before they have a handicap match against Kongo Kong later. Park says his football coach taught him that the fear of the hit is worse than the fear itself. Grado doesn’t know what that means and Park doesn’t either. Grado: “Why don’t you call and ask him?” Park: “He died a few years ago.”
Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi
Fantasma and Kid start things up with an exchange of non-near falls into a standoff. Garza comes in and eats a basement dropkick for two but catches Marufuchi with a Codebreaker for the same. Everything breaks down with Kid and Fantasma both hitting huge dives to the floor. Back in and a hurricanrana sets up a frog splash for two on Garza but Kid takes Fantasma down with a tornado DDT.
In quite the complicated spot, Garza picks Fantasma up for a powerbomb while also holding Marufuchi in a World’s Strongest Slam. At the same time, Kid adds a top rope leg lariat to Fantasma to make it kind of a Doomsday Device to put both opponents down at the same time. Naturally, it gets two. Kid misses a Phoenix Splash and it’s time for that stupid deal where you throw partners together and make one DDT the other.
We pause for Garza to take off his pants but thankfully the distraction lets Marufuchi and Fantasma superkick him down. Something like a GTS puts Marufuchi down but a double kick to the head drops Fantasma and Kid to put all four on the mat. Since they haven’t gotten enough stuff in yet, Fantasma hits a dive onto Kid, leaving Garza to get in the stripping. He misses a moonsault to give Marufuchi two but Sliced Bread #2 finally puts Garza away at 9:20.
That being said, there’s FAR worse stuff they could be using this time for and the match was fun. It’s just not as awesome as I think GFW thinks it is. If nothing else, it would be nice to have them put some of these teams towards a title instead of just having them out there doing random flips and superkicks.
Kongo Kong vs. Grado/Joseph Park
Grado starts, looks at Kong, and hands it off to Park. Joseph hurts himself on a headbutt attempt but Kong misses a Cannonball. Some splashes in the corner have Kong in some trouble but he runs them over with clotheslines. The Cannonball puts Park away at 2:46. Remember a few years ago when Park was one of the most entertaining characters in wrestling because he got to show off how good he could be with comedy and let you see how much more he could do than Abyss? Well screw that because we need this fat, embarrassment to wrestling named Kongo Kong to get a monster push instead.
Post match Kong loads up a top rope splash to both of them but Laurel Van Ness comes down and slaps him. Kong loads her up for something but Tyrus of all people comes down for the save. Laurel and Kong bail.
Low Ki, Trevor Lee and Lashley are ready for a six man tag tonight. Low Ki speaks Spanish and rants about Alberto turning down an offer from Konnan.
Video on Trevor Lee stealing Sonjay Dutt’s X-Division Title and declaring himself the real champion. Lee says he never got his rematch and he has the belt so he’s the title’s rightful owner. They meet in a ladder match next week.
Jeff Jarrett talks about Lashley being a pro wrestler and an MMA fighter. The head of Lashley’s MMA gym wants him to pick MMA but he and Jarrett have agreed to work together.
Dutch Mantel sat down with Matt Sydal and Lashley to talk about their upcoming match. Lashley says he might be the #1 athlete in the world because he dominates two sports. Sydal says he’s the #3 X-Division athlete in the world, which Lashley laughs off because Sydal is just an X-Division guy. A fight nearly breaks out and security makes the save.
Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Veterans of War
LAX is defending and this is a street fight. Before the match, Konnan brags about how awesome LAX is. The brawl is on in a hurry on the floor with some trashcan lid shots putting LAX in early trouble. Santana gets belly to belly suplexed onto the ramp and it’s already table time. The Veterans botch the MOAB through the table on Ortiz but Homicide pulls the referee out at two.
Back from a break with Mayweather handcuffed to the ropes and LAX stomping away. Wilcox cleans house with a Samoan drop but Ortiz sends him into a chair in the corner for two. Something like Poetry in Motion puts Wilcox through a table in the corner to retain the titles at 11:37.
Matt Sydal, Alberto El Patron and Sonjay Dutt are ready for the six man.
Super X Cup Semifinals: Taiji Ishimori vs. ACH
ACH headlocks him down to start but Ishimori spins away and grabs a headscissors to put ACH on the floor. Back from a break with Ishimori hitting a double stomp out of the corner for two. ACH gets in a hard clothesline but his back gives out on a suplex. Ishimori’s superkick is no sold so ACH hits a clothesline for two. Ishimori hits a gutbuster and a 450 for the pin at 10:28.
That’s not enough to make this feel important and the tournament just keeps going with no reason for fans to care. That’s the promotion in one statement: these people are having watchable matches but there’s no reason to care about any of them. That’s really not good and it’s plagued this company for years.
Dezmond Xavier comes out to stare Ishimori down.
Recap of Low Ki joining LAX.
We run down the Destination X card.
Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki vs. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal
Alberto goes after Low Ki to start and it’s quickly off to Dutt and Sydal for stereo standing moonsaults. Sydal stays in and kicks away at Lashley but gets taken down with a crossbody. Back from an early break with Sydal getting choked by Lashley and then chopped by Low Ki. Pope: “There’s something about Low Ki that makes you think HITMAN!”
Lee comes in to beat on Sydal too and Lashley adds a running shoulder in the corner. Matt gets out of an abdominal stretch but gets put in a dragon sleeper. Low Ki misses a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Dutt for a hurricanrana. A roll into a dropkick drops Lee but Lashley comes in for a Dominator to Dutt.
Sonjay finally gets in a tornado DDT to escape and the hot tag brings in Alberto, because he’s always the one who gets to do the big house cleaning segment. Alberto powerslams Low Ki and hits a suicide dive onto Lashley. Everything breaks down and Alberto hits everyone in the knees but Dutt springboards into a powerslam from Lashley. The Warrior’s Way ends Dutt at 17:48.
Results
Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Sliced Bread #2 to Garza
Kongo Kong b. Grado/Joseph Park – Cannonball to Park
LAX b. Veterans of War – Flip dive through a table
Taiji Ishimori b. ACH – 450
Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki b. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal – Warrior’s Way to Dutt
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Angelina Love has left GFW.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Sheamus b. Seth Rollins – Rollup
Jason Jordan b. Jean Pierre Goulet – Belly to back neckbreaker
Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox and Emma – Bank Statement to Emma
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Show – Big boot to Amore
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Rollup
Akira Tozawa b. Ariya Daivari – Top rope backsplash
Nia Jax b. Dana Brooke and Mickie James – Legdrop to Brooke
Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Samoa Joe choked Reigns out
Smackdown
Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight
Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick
Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO
NXT
Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight
Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick
Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO
Impact Wrestling
Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Sliced Bread #2 to Garza
Kongo Kong b. Grado/Joseph Park – Cannonball to Park
LAX b. Veterans of War – Flip dive through a table
Taiji Ishimori b. ACH – 450
Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki b. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal – Warrior’s Way to Dutt