Week of 8/24/2015 - 8/30/2015

klunderbunker

Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Summerslam has come and gone and we have two main event fallout stories to deal with. Jon Stewart, the host of Summerslam, cost John Cena the US Title by interfering to help Seth Rollins last night. In addition, Brock Lesnar made Undertaker tap out but the referee didn't see it, allowing Undertaker to hit Brock low and make him pass out in the Hell's Gate, likely setting the stage for a third match between the two. Let's get to it.

Earlier today, HHH praised Seth Rollins for making Summerslam live up to its hype last night. Rollins, holding both titles, is officially the man in WWE and it's time for him to take his place among the legends of this industry with a statue.

Opening sequence.

We open with Heyman and a ticked off Lesnar. Heyman gets right to it and says Brock isn't happy. How did we go from Brock being the first man to make Undertaker tap out to the history books showing Undertaker won the match? Last night the Undertaker went to Suplex City and was then locked in a Kimura and Undertaker tapped out, which we see clear video of him doing. Heyman is a father and knows what it's like to have to break your kid's heart by telling him fairy tales aren't real.

After explaining what it means to tap, Heyman says Brock doesn't blame the referee or timekeeper. The fans boo the timekeeper so Heyman takes a jab at them for booing compassion. Undertaker collapsed on the way to the back again but we don't need to talk about that just yet. Imagine last night when someone had to pull Brock off of Undertaker to save him from a beating. Once Undertaker knew he had a reprieve, he went low on Brock and made him pass out in Hell's Gate.

It was Undertaker's last bullet as the gunslinger, but it turns out that Undertaker can't shoot with Brock. Lesnar wants Undertaker one more time, but not at Wrestlemania, Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble. Brock wants Undertaker right here TONIGHT. Instead he gets Bo Dallas. Even Heyman looks stunned by this one.

Dallas says Brock passed out last night but at least he probably had a sweet dream of beating Undertaker. Those dreams can come true if he just BOLIEVES! It's Suplex City time and Brock eventually leaves, only to go back for one more German. He leaves again but Heyman wants one more. Dallas is out cold so Lesnar makes it easy on him with an F5.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Non-title and the Prime Time Players are on commentary. Big E. introduces Woods as the feature presentation so here's Xavier playing a trombone. E. sings a modified version of New York, New York about how awesome they are as champions. Just when you think these guys are running out of ideas they have the singing gimmick to fall back on. As usual, these three are hilarious together. Kofi and Cara get things going before it's quickly off to Kalisto who flips Kingston to the floor. Big E. gets kicked out to the floor but is able to catch a diving Kalisto in midair. Cara adds a dive and we take an early break.

Back with New Day in control and Woods playing the trombone. Cara backflips over E. into the tag to Kalisto as things speed up. A sunset bomb gets two on Kofi as everything breaks down. E. pulls Cara to the floor and the distraction lets Kofi grab Kalisto in a reverse suplex. Woods plays some Taps as the Midnight Hour puts Kalisto away at 6:19. Too much was in the break to rate it but the match was great fun.

Post match New Day celebrates but the DUDLEY BOYS return and clean house. Woods gets What's Up and the place is just coming unglued. Bubba isn't done yet because it's table time. Kofi and Big E. are nowhere to be found and the 3D puts Woods through the table. The Dudleys aren't done yet as they go outside to yell at the Prime Time Players a bit before posing on the ropes and soaking in the thunderous cheers.

Stills of Jon Stewart costing John Cena the US Title.

Video on John Cena granting his 500th Make-A-Wish, the most of anyone in history. Like him or not, these things are just cool.

The Authority is looking at Rollins's statue when Rollins comes in to brag about receiving one.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

Rematch from last night. Dean takes everyone out to start but eats a suicide dive from Harper. Reigns comes over to help and it's an apron boot to Harper to take us to a commercial. Note that we saw Dean and the Wyatts' entrance plus less than two minutes of action between breaks. Back with Bray clotheslining Dean for two before it's off to Harper for a catapult into the middle rope.

Bray gets two more off a DDT and plants Dean with a gutbuster before it's off to Harper, who eats a tornado DDT. A double tag brings in Reigns and Wyatt with Roman cleaning house with some nice throws followed by a corner clothesline. See how much better it is when you mix stuff up instead of just doing the same clotheslines over and over? Everything breaks down and Dean sends Bray to the floor for a suicide dive.

Roman does something like a Jackhammer on Wyatt but Harper comes in with superkicks (JBL: “Superkick party!”). Sister Abigail is broken up and Reigns nails a Superman Punch. Ambrose dives on Harper and we've got.....a third Wyatt. This guy is massive, even bigger than Reigns, and wearing a black sheep mask. Roman tries the Superman Punch, only to get pulled out of the air for the DQ at 10:39.

The guy beats Ambrose down and chokes Reigns out as the fans ask WHO ARE YOU. Ambrose comes back with a kick to the head for no effect and the monster chokes him out as well. Bray poses next to him as we take a break. Apparently the new guy is a former strongman competitor who wrestled in NXT under the name Braun Stowman.

It's time for MizTV with Team PCB as guests. Charlotte says her dad was part of the greatest faction in WWE history. No not Evolution, which is really the only faction he was ever part of in WWE, but the Horsemen. To be fair, WWE is convinced they are wrestling at this point so it's close enough in their eyes. Miz brags about himself but Paige says they're not into him. The trio says they'll fight any woman, man, dinosaur or cyborg.

Paige talks about being all dominant so here's Team Bella. Nikki makes a Donald Trump joke and Brie says they empower women all over the world. Fox and Becky yell at each other a bit over how long Alicia has been around. Nikki: “Wins and losses, who cares?” Miz says cool it and says he sees a bunch of women who fight like girls. PCB gets in his face but Team Bella jumps them from behind and knocks PCB to the floor.

Team Bella vs. Team PCB

This is joined in progress in case you haven't seen it enough yet. Becky drops a leg on Brie before it's off to Charlotte for the Charlotte's Web on Nikki for two. PCB starts taking turns on the champ and Becky gets two off a backslide. The Bellas take over for a bit before Becky and Charlotte clean house with dropkicks to send them out to the floor. Charlotte dives on all three and we take a break.

Back with Charlotte in trouble and Nikki throwing her out to the floor. Nikki sends the leg into the post and everyone starts working on Charlotte's leg. The fans are doing the wave as Paige gets the hot tag. Fox takes her down as well and now it's a WE ARE AWESOME chant. Everything breaks down and Nikki hits Paige with the big forearm, followed by the ax kick from Fox for the pin at 14:30.

King Barrett and Stardust are here for a tag match but Stardust beats Barrett up before the match. This brings out Neville to go after Stardust as the referee gets out of the ring. Stardust rolls away before the Red Arrow can launch though.

Here's Jon Stewart for an explanation. He understands that some people are mad at him, but some people are also happy with him. Some people had to comfort their children last night and explain who the little old man who attacked John Cena was. Well here's why he did it: it wasn't to help Rollins retain or to do what's best for business. Instead, it was because he couldn't let John Cena tie Ric Flair's record because the champ is Flair.

This brings out Flair himself and Stewart loses his mind. Flair says he appreciated Stewart's sentiments last night but he was pulling for Cena. The record is going to fall someday and Flair would like it to fall to someone he respects. Ric says Stewart messed up everything but here's Cena to freak Stewart out in a completely different way. Cena says he's at peace for what happened last night, but Stewart kept the title on Rollins as a result, in addition to making him the US Champion.

That was the title that Cena used to give everyone an opportunity, from names like Cesaro to Kevin Owens to Sami Zayn. Stewart freaks out and tries to backpedal but Cena says the titles are in the hands of the Authority. This is a chance for Cena to win the titles back and there's an AA to Stewart. Flair just stands there as all this happens and then leaves.

Post break Cena says he was doing what he thought was right. Later tonight, he'll have another talk with Seth Rollins.

Dolph Ziggler/Randy Orton/Ryback/Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens/Big Show/Rusev/Sheamus

Ziggler is now in tights. Ryback and Rusev get things going before it's off to Cesaro for a headlock. Ziggler gets the tag and tries a superkick but Rusev bails to the floor. It's about to explode on the floor as we take a break. Back with Show telling Ziggler to bring it on before chopping him down. Show: “I'M A GIANT!” It's off to Owens to wake the fans up a bit but that ends when Sheamus gets the tag for a release suplex.

Sheamus puts Ziggler in the Brock Lock, followed by an Irish Curse for no cover. Back from another break with Ziggler DDTing Big Show but Rusev breaks up the hot tag attempt. Summer slaps Dolph so Lana tackles her down and the distraction lets Ziggler scores with the Fameasser. Ziggler finally dives over for the tag to Cesaro, who uppercuts the heck out of Owens.

Rusev comes in and takes the Swing, leaving Ryback and Owens to slug it out. The Cannonball is broken up by a spinebuster and there's the Meathook. Kevin breaks up the Shell Shock though and a double clothesline drops both of them. It's Orton coming in off the hot tag and cleaning house, but Show makes his job easier by KO Punching Sheamus by mistake, setting up the RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Owens and Rusev beat Show down post match before walking out. The winners come in with Ziggler superkicking Show, followed by Cesaro and Ryback lifting Show up for an RKO. For once the camera team made sure to hide the fact that it barely connected.

We look at Lesnar vs. Undertaker from last night.

Recap of the new Wyatt Family member.

Bray says he tried to warn Roman. As long as there is breath in Reigns' body, Bray will be there to stop him. Look at Reigns' so called brother. Roman pulled him into this war and now Dean is just a pawn. Last night was Roman's moment of glory but now it's over. Tonight you witnessed her greatest gift. Bray introduces us to Braun Strowman, Abigail's black sheep.

The Authority stops Cena in the back and has security escort him out of the arena.

It's time for the Rollins statue unveiling, but the statue is under a curtain, despite us seeing it earlier in the night. First up though, Stephanie leads us in singing Happy Birthday to her dad, who turns 70 today. HHH talks about what you want in a man to immortalize in bronze. The three qualities you would want in such a man are hustle, loyalty and respect. There's only one man in this company who deserves that, so here's Seth Rollins. The champ brags about how amazing this is because so few people receive this honor.

Last night he won this match and became a legend. Rollins goes on for a LONG time about how awesome he is and promises to retain the title at Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania. They finally pull the curtain and instead of a statue, it's Sting. Why his facepaint is already chipped off isn't clear but maybe it melted off while he was waiting so long for Rollins to finish talking. Sting cleans house and holds up the title as Rollins panics to end the show. Why? It's an old guy who has never won a match in this company.

Results
New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Midnight Hour to Kalisto
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt via DQ when an unknown man interfered
Team Bella b. Team PCB – Ax kick to Paige
Randy Orton/Cesaro/Ryback/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Rusev/Kevin Owens – RKO to Sheamus

Tuesday

Nothing.

Wednesday

NXT
Date: August 26, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Corey Graves, Rich Brennan

This is an interesting show as we have the matches that were taped prior to this past weekend's Takeover special. I can't imagine we'll see anything that gives away show results aside from highlights for the sake of the live crowd, meaning this could be a different looking show. This episode is also ninety minutes long. Let's get to it.

We open with a recap of Takeover, as you might expect.

Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady/Hype Bros vs. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder/Chad Gable/Jason Jordan

Enzo and Cass are over with the live crowd to put it mildly. They keep it simple this week though and just call their opponents sawft. Mojo drives Dash into the corner to start and hands it off to Ryder for a quick clothesline. The fans want Enzo but have to settle for Ryder's missile rope dropkick instead.

Now they get Enzo who does a little dance and punches Dawson in the face, setting up a big eight man staredown. Everything breaks down and the heels are sent to the floor for a HUGE dive from Enzo (with an assist from Cass) to take them down again. Back from a break with Jordan getting two on Enzo and the fans cheering for their diminutive hero. Gable bends the arm over the top rope before it's back to Dash to keep Amore in trouble.

The villains take turns on the arm and Gable monkey flips him into the corner to prevent a hot tag. Now the fans want Cass and a tornado DDT almost gives them what they want but it's Jordan breaking up the tag this time. Enzo sends him into the corner and NOW the hot tag brings in Cass. The big man comes in to clean house and it's time for the parade of finishers, capped off by the Rocket Launcher to pin Gable at 13:12.

Regal hypes up the Dusty Classic when Neville comes in and asks for a spot in the field. The boss makes it happen.

After his title defense Saturday, Balor says he proved Japan wasn't a fluke. The future is now.

Video on Emma.

Video on Becky Lynch.

Carmella vs. Eva Marie

Remember how much the fans liked Enzo and Cass? Reverse it here for Eva. The fans tell Eva that she can't wrestle as she shoulders Carmella down, only to take a bad looking dropkick. Some running forearms stagger Carmella again and a backsplash gets two. We hit the seated arm crank and Eva mocks Cass' chants. Carmella comes back with some Thesz presses but walks into a jawbreaker and the Kendrick gives Eva the pin at 4:12.

Quick look at Liger beating Breeze.

Breeze says he has a bigger idea for Regal.

Dana Brooke (with her very nasal voice) and Emma are ready.

More Takeover clips.

Video on Dana Brooke.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks clips.

Bayley can barely speak after her match so her family comes in to hug her.

Regal puts Rhyno and Baron Corbin in the Dusty Classic against the Ascension next week.

Kevin Owens promised to break Cesaro at Summerslam and won't talk about his loss.

Bull Dempsey vs. Elias Sampson

Dempsey has a new look, including a big robe which makes him look like Steve Williams in a way. Sampson on the other hand has a guitar and calls himself the drifter. Dempsey looks to have lost a few pounds. He headlocks Sampson down to a nice reaction but Elias punches him in the ribs to take over. A chinlock doesn't get him very far though as Bull Hulks Up and slugs away. Bull's top rope seated senton puts Sampson away at 4:34.

Samoa Joe say the win over Corbin was just the beginning and now he wants the title.

Nia Jax is coming.

Apollo Crews loved the energy out there.

Blake, Murphy and Bliss say they were robbed, not beaten.* Bliss wants Blue Pants.

Video on Charlotte.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Emma vs. Dana Brooke

One fall to a finish. Emma and Brooke back into each other to start and are thrown to the floor, giving us Becky vs. Charlotte. It's a double dropkick into a double nipup before Becky takes her down with an armbar. The villains come back in to break it up as this is going to be one of those tag matches disguised as a four way for most of the match. Charlotte gets knocked outside to keep up the double teaming, including a hard slam into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Becky getting double teamed in the corner but Dana and Emma argue over who should get the cover. They actually don't fight but instead go after a different opponent each. The peace lasts all of ten seconds though as both of them go after Charlotte, leading to a brawl. Dana yells at Emma but they shake hands, only to have Dana take Emma's head off. Charlotte comes back in and chops away before DDTing Emma and Dana at the same time.

It's Becky sneaking in with a missile dropkick though and it's time to clean even more house. A series of suplexes get Becky two on Dana but Emma comes back with some Emma Sandwiches....for the pin on Becky at 12:38. That was a confusing ending as no one seemed ready for that to be the three. Even Emma looked up at the referee with a stunned look on her face.

Charlotte and Becky put on their submissions to end the show.

Results
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady/Hype Bros b. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder/Chad Gable/Jason Jordan – Rocket Launcher to Gable
Eva Marie b. Carmella – Kendrick
Bull Dempsey b. Elias Sampson – Top rope seated senton
Emma b. Dana Brooke, Charlotte and Becky Lynch – Emma Sandwich to Lynch

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 26, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It's week three of the GFW era in TNA and there's a chance that Jeff Jarrett is going to take over as the full time boss. There is no way this could go badly for TNA of course. Other than that we have Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez for Chris' leg because they need something to keep the feud going. Let's get to it.

We open with a quick recap of all the GFW stuff so far.

Here are the Hardys to open things up. Jeff says he's glad to be back and talks about the gold they've won everywhere. He knows Matt will be the next World Champion so Matt thanks all of the fans for their support. Matt reiterates that he wants the title so here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to respond.

Ethan talks about meeting the men who inspired him to start wrestling in 1999 and being so disappointed. Now he's beaten Matt in Matt's own match and Jeff is just a daredevil who can't stick a landing. Jeff offers to beat him with a chair since he can't wrestle yet, but instead Ethan just grants Matt his rematch request. However, if Ethan retains, Jeff becomes his personal assistant. Do you really want Jeff doing household chores? I could see this ending with a big fire.

We recap Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez, which has seen Young beating him at every turn but Melendez keeps coming. Now he's putting up his prosthetic leg for one more match. Sure why not.

Young says he can't be held responsible for what happens next.

Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez

Young quickly takes over to start and tries to rip the leg off early. Instead he settles for a chinlock but Melendez fights up with some clotheslines. A Bubba Bomb (remember he was trained by Team 3D) puts Eric down but he rakes the eyes to keep Chris in trouble. The piledriver is broken up so Young rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:15.

Young demands the leg right now and Melendez hands it over, only after hopping along because Young keeps backing up.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Sonjay Dutt

Tigre is defending and of course there's no story here. DJZ dropkicks Tigre to the floor to start but walks into a hurricanrana. Sonjay sends him out to the floor and nails a flip dive off the apron to the fans mild boredom. Back in and Tigre misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing DJZ to come back with a quick gutbuster to the champ. Dutt comes back in for a tornado DDT on the champ but the challengers clothesline each other to put all three guys down. DJZ is up first but gets German suplexed into the corner, setting up Tigre's springboard splash to retain at 5:03.

James Storm demands that Manik and Abyss win the Tag Team Titles and no more dancing from Manik.

Recap of the opening segment.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Abyss/Manik

Abyss/Manik are challenging. Davey and Abyss get things going and the monster shoves the champ down with ease. It's off to Eddie to try his luck to little effect as Abyss pounds on him as well. Manik comes in and gets beaten up in the corner. Davey gets dragged into the Revolution's corner though and Abyss comes back in to choke in and splash. Manik gets two off a belly to back and it's time to crank on the arms.

A dropkick stops Davey's comeback as Josh talks about Wolves Nation. How many nations can there possibly be? Davey finally gets over for the tag so Eddie can clean house, only to have Abyss grab both champions by the throat. The Wolves backflip out (that looked cool) and kick Abyss down, setting up a double missile dropkick in the corner. Cue Storm to break up whatever the Wolves had planned but Mahabali Sheera comes out to chase Storm off. The powerbomb into a backstabber is enough to put Manik away and retain the titles at 6:19.

Jeff Hardy accepts Ethan's challenge. This could have been tacked on to the first segment to save some time.

We recap Jeff Jarrett's return to the company.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Brooke

Brooke is defending in what should be an obvious ending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get much of an advantage. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ and she forearms Velvet down with a hard shot. Velvet comes back with a running neckbreaker for tow but they clothesline each other down. Brooke knocks her to the floor but doesn't want a countout. Instead she whips Velvet into the steps but here's the Dollhouse for the DQ at 3:54.

The beatdown is on but here's Rebel of all people to....join the Dollhouse and help beat Velvet down as Taryn laughs from the back.

Roode says he'll win.

Anderson says he'll win tonight.

Drew Galloway gets bad news on the phone.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm vs. Bobby Roode vs. Lashley

Winner gets PJ Black for the King of the Mountain Title next week. It's a brawl to start and all four head outside to fight. Roode can't suplex Lashley on the ramp so Lashley and Anderson clean house, only to turn it into a standoff as we take a break. Back with Roode and Storm having an old school standoff to a smattering of applause. Dinero: “They're facing off.....again.”

Roode gets two off a quick neckbreaker but Anderson breaks it up. Lashley is back in as well for a superplex to Storm. Anderson misses a swanton bomb and gets clotheslined by Storm but they both head outside. Lashley turns Roode inside out off a clothesline but Roode knees out of a delayed vertical. The Roode Bomb is blocked by a grab of the ropes, only to have Storm come back in with a Codebreaker.

Anderson's swinging neckbreaker puts Storm down and the Mic Check gets two on Roode. Lashley spears Anderson to the floor, only to charge into the Last Call. We're down to Roode vs. Storm again and the Beer Money chant sets up a double suplex on Anderson. They load up the signature taunt but the Roode Bomb plants Storm for the pin at 13:30.

Velvet Sky, Gail Kim and Brooke are all on the cover of the calendar. So much for the competition.

Ethan is pleased with the Hardys' decision.

Here's Dixie for the big announcement about Jarrett being in charge going forward. She says the best times in this company's history have been when two people are working together on top. Jeff is invited to the ring and thanks Dixie for that surprise phone call a month or so ago. They have something special going with this partnership and Dixie believes they're unstoppable when they work together. Sweet goodness have you looked into being stopped? This brings out Drew Galloway with news as we go to a break.

Back with Drew going on about the dark cloud of the attacks over TNA. After praising Jeff, Drew thinks it's weird that there are no clues, but he put his criminology degree to use (that's a cool idea for a change) and said there's only one clue: the license plates of the getaway cars. And what do you know: they're both registered to Jeff Jarrett. You know, the guy he was praising a minute ago.

Jeff says no way but here's Karen Jarrett to say she did it for her husband, her family and for GFW. She says one little spark can cause a giant inferno. With that, Jeff kicks Drew low and here are the GFW guys to beat Galloway down. Some TNA midcarders run out for an attempt at a save but get beaten down as well. The Wolves take a beating too and GFW poses to end the show. Good night this felt lame. Like wow, JEFF JARRETT turning his back on someone? Who would have seen that coming? And Chris Masters and Justin Gabriel as top villains? This really is the best they can do too, and that's pathetic.

Results
Eric Young b. Chris Melendez – Rollup with feet on the ropes
Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Sonjay Dutt – Springboard splash to DJZ
Wolves b. Manik/Abyss – Powerbomb/backstabber combo to Manik
Brooke b. Velvet Sky via DQ when the Dollhouse interfered
Bobby Roode b. James Storm, Lashley and Mr. Anderson – Roode Bomb to Storm

Thursday

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2015
Location: Dunkin' Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso, Rich Brennan

It's hard to say what's going to happen tonight as the big story coming out of Raw is the return of Sting, who I can't imagine is going to be here tonight. There's always a chance of some fresh Wyatt Family stuff, as this show has become the main ground for the Shield vs. Wyatts feud, which isn't the worst thing in the world. Let's get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a clip of the Dudley Boyz returning on Monday.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Shocking I know. Harper talks about our eyes and ears being shut by the lies we've been told. We're all dead and we don't even know it but Bray Wyatt's truth will give us new life. Bray says he doesn't just throw out words like brother because family means everything to him. Sister Abigail has given him so much in this life and just when he thought he had nothing left, she provided him a savior. That's what being a family is all about. Abigail's eyes light up when she talks about Braun Strowman and now it is time.

Cue Reigns and Ambrose with the former saying it is what it is. That wasn't the first time they've been whipped so if he and Dean are going down, they're going down swinging. Ambrose: “I'll take the ugly one.” There are always points in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line, intentional or not. Strowman is ready to go but Bray calls his men off and leaves.

Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz

Bubba takes Konor into the corner to start and asks if he knows who they are. D-Von comes in and runs Konor over but gets kicked down into the corner. It's quickly back to Bubba for the Flip Flop and Fly, followed by What's Up. Bubba calls for the tables but Konor breaks it up. The attempt, not the table. Back in and Ascension gets in a little offense, including a jumping knee to Bubba's face. Not that it matters as a quick clothesline allows the hot tag to D-Von for some house cleaning. Bubba comes back in off a blind tag and 3D ends Konor at 5:10.

Post match it's table time but New Day comes out with signs, including “Save a table, break a Dudley” and “hashtag give tables a chance.” Viktor gets powerbombed through the table and New Day panics.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

This could be good. The threat of a kick to the head sends Owens into the corner and a headscissors puts him on the floor. Neville misses a baseball slide though and Owens blasts him with a clothesline. Back in and a torture rack neckbreaker (cool move) gets two for Kevin and we take a break.

We come back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and striking away, followed by a missile dropkick for two. The German suplex sends Owens to the floor but this time Neville is smart enough to duck the clothesline. Instead it's a superkick to set up the Red Arrow but Owens rolls away before it can launch. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 8:19.

The Bellas get catty with Team PCB over Paige being the leader but never showing up because of Tough Enough. A tag match is set up for later. High school style drama: empowering women around the world.

Bella Twins vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Team BAD is on commentary because Heaven forbid all of these teams aren't in the same place at the same time. Jimmy has recused himself from commentary to avoid a personal conflict. Nikki and Charlotte get things going as BAD rips on the Bellas for their singing on Total Divas. As usual, I love that something that happened two and a half months ago on Total Divas (some of it happened backstage at Battleground) is never mentioned until after the show aired.

A double dropkick puts Nikki down so it's off to Brie, who gets her head slammed onto the mat. Back to Charlotte who misses a knee to give Brie a target and one of her kicks actually connects for a change. A leg lock doesn't get Brie anywhere so Charlotte kicks her out to the floor. Everything breaks down as Nikki pulls Becky off the apron, leaving Charlotte to roll Brie up in the Charlotte's Web for the pin at 3:15.

Here's Seth Rollins to address what happened on Raw. This Monday was supposed to take him from legendary to immortal. He mentions cashing in at Wrestlemania and being the first man to hold both titles at once (save for Goldberg, whose titles don't count I guess because all those titles being unified only counts when they want it to. I like it better this way though as the idea of the World Heavyweight Championship being the NWA/WCW Title was one of the most ridiculous things even WWE had ever tried to pass off). Actors should be fighting to play him in his biopic.

Here's a clip of Sting's unveiling and subsequent beating. Rollins brags about being on top of the mountain while Sting has spent years down in the minor leagues. So why does Sting think he can ruin Seth's moment without provocation? Rollins is going to finish what HHH started at Wrestlemania when the Architect faces the Artifact.

This got better as Rollins kept going but that's the problem: it felt like he was still going for the sake of going, not because he had anything else to say. That's a major problem with so many WWE promos: they're designed as one size fits all, but not everyone speaks the same. Look at this one for example. Rollins could have cut this in half and said the same thing. Orton is the same way. He has to talk forever when it's clear that he's covered everything in a fraction of the time, but WWE has decided that this is how you do promos and everyone has to be the same.

Sheamus says he'll kick Ambrose's head off tonight.

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Big Show

Big Show throws Ryback around to start but Ryback kicks away in the corner. Something like a spear puts Ryback down up against the ropes. The chokeslam doesn't work so Ryback shoulders Show down. That wasn't a bad power sequence. Show runs him over in turn but Rusev tags himself in, much to Show's annoyance, and we take a break. Back with Rusev dropping elbows on Ryback and ignoring Show's requests for a tag. Rusev: “I don't trust you giant!”

Ziggler gets knocked off the apron but the distraction lets Ryback score with a spinebuster. Off to Ziggler vs. Big Show and the giant gets put down with the swinging DDT. A superkick gets two but the Fameasser is countered into the Alley-Oop and the KO Punch knocks Dolph out. Rusev tags himself in though and slaps on the Accolade, only to have Show KO his partner. Show walks past the black hole that Ryback has fallen into as Ziggler covers Rusev for the pin at 10:16.

Clips of the end of Undertaker vs. Lesnar and Brock leaving Bo in a heap on Monday.

Video on Jon Stewart screwing John Cena at Summerslam and Monday's fallout.

Ambrose and Reigns try to figure out what Sheamus means by respect the hawk. Sheamus better learn to respect Dean's fist and his boot. Reigns will take care of the Wyatts.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Now I know the Wyatts are either going to run in to end the match or just after it's over, but how refreshing is it to not have Dean fighting one of them for a change? Ambrose vs. Sheamus isn't the most thrilling match in the world, but I'll take it over Dean vs. Wyatt or Harper again.

Sheamus takes over to start and dumps Dean to the floor to turn it into a brawl. Dean comes right back by throwing him inside for a clothesline to take it back to the floor, only to be sent into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus kneeing him down onto the apron and slamming him out of a suplex. The Brock Lock doesn't make Dean tap out so he pulls himself up, only to get planted with a sitout powerbomb.

Six forearms to the chest have Dean in even more trouble but he gets in some forearms to Sheamus' chest to even things out a bit. A big clothesline drops Sheamus and Dean is all fired up. The bulldog out of the corner sets up la majistral of all things to give Ambrose two. Dean's suicide dive connects and another big clothesline knocks Sheamus silly. Of course we've got Wyatts and the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 11:31.

Post match Reigns comes out for the save and is smart enough to Superman Punch Harper as fast as he can. Strowman is waiting for him though and Roman's right hands have almost no effect. Braun slams him face first into the mat and chokes Reigns out, leaving the Wyatts posing to end the show.

Results
Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Konor
Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb
Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Charlotte's Web to Brie
Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Rusev/Big Show – Ziggler pinned Rusev after a KO Punch
Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick

Friday

Nothing.

Saturday

Nothing.

Sunday

Nothing.

Quick Results

Monday Night Raw
New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Midnight Hour to Kalisto
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt via DQ when an unknown man interfered
Team Bella b. Team PCB – Ax kick to Paige
Randy Orton/Cesaro/Ryback/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Rusev/Kevin Owens – RKO to Sheamus

NXT
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady/Hype Bros b. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder/Chad Gable/Jason Jordan – Rocket Launcher to Gable
Eva Marie b. Carmella – Kendrick
Bull Dempsey b. Elias Sampson – Top rope seated senton
Emma b. Dana Brooke, Charlotte and Becky Lynch – Emma Sandwich to Lynch

Impact Wrestling
Eric Young b. Chris Melendez – Rollup with feet on the ropes
Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Sonjay Dutt – Springboard splash to DJZ
Wolves b. Manik/Abyss – Powerbomb/backstabber combo to Manik
Brooke b. Velvet Sky via DQ when the Dollhouse interfered
Bobby Roode b. James Storm, Lashley and Mr. Anderson – Roode Bomb to Storm

Smackdown
Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Konor
Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb
Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Charlotte's Web to Brie
Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Rusev/Big Show – Ziggler pinned Rusev after a KO Punch
Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick
 

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