klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Bunch of people leaving WWE: Masters, Kozlov and Melina were released and Gail Kim quit.
David Hart Smith is released. I had no idea he still had a job.
Impact got a 1.1, down slightly from last week.
Smackdown
Date: August 5, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole
We have two more shows before Summerslam and this is the first of them. I'd expect a lot of build for Christian vs. Orton V and also some more from the midcard stuff that Smackdown has gotten good at. The big thing though is the freshly face Sheamus continuing Mark Henry. I'm giddy over that one. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Sheamus vs. Henry. The crowd popped huge in the arena for the line of I'll fight him.
Sheamus vs. Great Khali
Here's a test....kind of. I was confused at first because the tron video said Jinder Mahal, which would have surprised me. Josh immediately gets on my nerves by saying they're on the campus of the University of Kentucky, which is flat out not true. The city owns Rupp Arena and it's not on the campus. The only affiliation it has with UK is the basketball team plays there. Everyone makes that mistake that isn't from here though so it's understandable. For some reason it's like they're afraid to say Lexington.
Sheamus vs. Henry is announced for Summerslam. Khali takes him down quickly with the power game. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes so that Khali is facing the crowd and pounds away on the chest. He goes up top but gets chopped in the chest to send him back down to the floor. Time for a nerve hold since Khali isn't that versatile in the ring, nor does he need to be.
Khali chops away in the corner and Sheamus fires off some double axes to the chest. Sheamus is all fires up but a chop to the head stops the Brogue Kick. It only gets two, despite being the finisher of a former world champion. Vice Grip goes on but Sheamus breaks that too. He elbows Khali in the ribs and the Brogue Kick hits for the pin at 5:22.
The Rewind is Beth eliminating the Bellas and turning heel on Kelly. This was the Slam of the Week in the arena. No idea why they changed it.
AJ vs. Natalya
What an odd choice for a match. Commentary goes silent for some reason and until Josh says something about AJ being the Diva next door or something similar to that. AJ takes her down with a headlock and Natalya can't figure her out. And never mind as a crucifix is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.
Post match Nattie turns on AJ, beating her down and hitting a snap suplex on the floor. She says she's with Beth: no more pretty princesses.
Ryder will be giving the State of the Showski later. The reaction to this is fake as the fans didn't move for that graphic other than a few people.
Orton gets a big pop and we see a video from last week where Orton hit an RKO on Truth on the table and then a second to go with it. He's not worried about Summerslam because he knows Christian can't beat him clean.
Video on Justin Gabriel in South Africa. This is different from last week's and it has more wrestling in it.
Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan
Barrett is on commentary. Bryan has new music which sounds like it's out of a thriller movie trailer. Bryan's pop was barely there when he came out. Some chain wrestling starts us off and Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner. Kidd is sent to the apron and then to the floor where Bryan hits a big dive through the ropes, shoving Kidd to the floor. Kidd gets a shot in on the knee and starts the attack on it.
Figure four around the post goes on and Bryan is in trouble. Barrett talks about how he doesn't think Bryan is going to cash in. That makes sense as it would be surprising if he made it that far. We take a break and come back with Kidd working on the knee. I'm not sure if anything actually changed in that break so they might have just picked up immediately where they left off.
A quick leg lock goes on until Bryan starts his comeback. He goes up top but gets crotched instead. Cole and Barrett ramble about how much they hate Bryan. Good to see them talking about the match at all. Kidd hasn't been talked about once. Bryan fights Kidd off the top and hits a missile dropkick but can't follow up due to the knee.
He fires off some kicks but has to pause because of the pain, allowing Kidd to hit a (American) dragon screw leg whip and a half crab. Bryan escapes but can't get the LeBell Lock. Pinfall reversal sequence doesn't go anywhere but Bryan gets all fired up and hammers away with forearms. BIG kick to the head sets up the guillotine choke and we're done at 7:00. I timed the match at 7:45 live so we didn't miss much at all.
Barrett and Bryan stare each other down post match. There's a match teased but not officially announced.
State of the Showski is up next.
Here's Ryder who got a small reaction but it was there. Ryder takes credit for the ratings going up because he's the assistant GM. He says he's going to change a lot of stuff but Big Zeke cuts him off. He got zero reaction at all. Zeke says Ryder must think he's here to beat up Ryder for being in the handicap match last week. Jackson isn't happy but Ryder says he thought they had an agreement.
They're cut off by Cody's music and here's one half of the biggest rib in wrestling history (think about it: the sons of Dusty Rhodes were a metrosexual and whatever Goldust was. How could that not be a massive rib?) along with Ted who is in wrestling gear. Cody says Jackson has sour grapes and is unbecoming of a champion. He says Jackson is making the championship look bad so Cody should just take it from him and resurrect it, just like he's resurrected Ted's career.
Jackson says he's merely using DiBiase. Cody says Ted has free will and Ted should come out and beat Jackson right now. That's up to Ted and Ryder though. Ryder says cool but here's Teddy (who got a surprisingly good reaction) to protest. Ryder is NOT the assistant GM but rather Teddy's assistant. Teddy makes Ryder vs. Jackson for right now. Gee it's a good thing they're both in wrestling gear.
Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder
Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I'm really not sure if he's face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn't work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we're done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson's head.
Teddy is in his office and here's Aksana, now with long black hair and a leather suit. There's bad romantic sounding music in the background. She wants to talk business with him so he gives her one of his cards. She asks for his personal number which he gives to her. That was rather odd.
Mark Henry is up next.
At this point the show stopped taping and HHH came to the ring and talked about having stress. Ryder was still in the ring and HHH got in some one liners about various wrestlers. He asked the crowd if they could keep a secret and dropped Ryder with a Pedigree. Awesome moment and the pop of the night.
Mark Henry vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Vlad fires away but can't really get anywhere. He manages the trapping headbutts but Henry remembers that he's a monster heel and plants Kozlov with the World's Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:15.
Post match he Pillmanizes Kozlov's leg, which explains him leaving since Kozlov was released today. Sheamus comes out late for the save with a chair. Henry bails, not wanting to fight until Summerslam. Kozlov goes out on a stretcher.
After a break Sheamus says that Henry isn't just beating people but rather is taking their ability and will to do what they love. That won't happen to Sheamus though because no one can take away his passion to compete here. There are many reasons but the biggest is because he's Irish, which means he has the Luck of the Irish. The following is a near direct quote of the next few things he says: And that means I was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up me arse. And if need be I can rip that horseshoe out and leave hoofprints on him. Oh and Henry is a whale that belongs in the ocean with Shamu.
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga/JTG vs. Trent Barreta/Uso Brothers
The Usos do their rhythmic dance thing. Remember when they were all sophisticated or whatever it was? Jey vs. JTG to start us off. Off to McGillicutty and then Otunga rather quickly. And now let's talk about what the announcers are tweeting at ringside. Apparently Booker said Cole is a tool. Jimmy is getting beaten down at the moment and there isn't much else to say as far as the match goes. Hot tag to Trent who is someone I'd like to see more of. Everything breaks down and the champions hit that elbow drop/backbreaker combo to end Baretta at 3:43.
Johnny Curtis sees the writing on the wall and will be in action next week.
Raw ReBound is about the Cena vs. Punk vs. HHH moments from Raw and how the match at Summerslam was made.
Christian says he isn't surprised that the match with Orton is now no holds barred. Everyone has been on Orton's side. Truth pops up to say it was a conspiracy. He says not to let the Little Jimmys fool him and that tonight Orton is gonna get got. Christian still doesn't know who Little Jimmy is.
Randy Orton/John Morrison vs. R-Truth/Christian
When did Morrison lose his pyro? Oh ok that part wasn't on the broadcast. Kind of surprised they didn't have that for the live crowd though. Orton and Truth start us off and Truth hammers him down into the corner. Morrison comes in and Truth runs so he can tag in the Canadian. There's that big spinning springboard kick for two.
Christian takes him down though and it's off to the coward crazy R-Truth. Suplex into the Stunner is countered (called that move by Booker) and Morrison goes all angry JoMo on him, hitting the running knee for two. Christian breaks it up and Orton chases him to the floor and into the crowd where we take a break. Back with Morrison and Truth hammering away on each other. During the break Orton stared Christian down a lot while the other two laid down in the ring.
Truth works on the neck which is logical. Good thing that when he went nuts he didn't lose his wrestling psychology. Christian comes in and gets a neckbreaker for two. Have one of those ever broken a neck? Middle rope headbutt misses but Christian is smart enough to take Orton out before John can make the tag. Truth comes in and does a little dance which makes it look like he wants to make a little love to Orton.
Morrison comes out of nowhere with the C4 to put both himself and Truth down. Hot tag brings in Orton and the fans are all fired up. Powerslam puts Christian down and Orton gets a jackknife cover for two. Killswitch is blocked into the backbreaker for two. Orton grabs a rollup out of the corner for two. Christian hits a spinebuster that Booker calls a sidewalk slam. Spear misses but Christian avoids the RKO.
Instead Orton gets him in punting position but Truth and Morrison come back in. Morrison sends him to the floor and dives out onto him. Christian jumps Orton but gets caught in the elevated DDT. Truth comes in and takes the RKO but Christian grabs the Killswitch and pins Orton 11:55 shown of what I thought was closer to 20 minutes but whatever.
Results
Sheamus b. Great Khali Brogue Kick
Natalya b. AJ Sharpshooter
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd Guillotine Choke
Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder Torture Rack
Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov World's Strongest Slam
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta
Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison Killswitch to Orton
Saturday
Nothing of note.
Sunday
Hardcore Justice 2011
Date: August 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Well at least there's no ECW tonight. This card looks like it's loaded up with a lot of stuff that not many people other than the really big fans would be interested in. The main event is Sting vs. Angle because goodness knows we haven't seen those two fight enough in the past. I'd assume some kind of shenanigans because this is a TNA show after all. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Sting vs. Angle with Sting going all crazy. He seems to like it. Angle is coming after Sting and the title though. Sting needs the belt right now to help fight Hogan and Bischoff and bring back Carter. Sting says he hasn't snapped but that he just feels good. Angle says that it's just business.
They even have a sponsor tonight: Direct Auto Insurance. That's a good thing.
X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries
Taz says he sees a lot of himself in Aries. Not sure on that one. Kendrick has some weird new music and he's back in the shorts. Well long shorts but whatever. There's a big brown thing on the front that looks like a huge patch. Aries is sent to the floor quickly and has no issues with just chilling out there. Well you can't say he's not thinking. Not that this isn't the strategy of almost every heel in a triple threat or anything but still.
Down to a one on one match at the moment and Shelley takes him to the mat. They ask for Aries to come back in but he declines. Alex throws on a wristlock as Aries is getting back in very slowly. And never mind as he's right back outside. The fans are behind Shelley here. Shelley backs him into the corner and Aries holds him in place there. Not sure why but he just kind of did.
Shelley pops Aries on the apron and Austin is down again. Ah there he is and never mind as he's knocked to the floor again. They totally botch something as Shelley is suplexing Kendrick and Aries is supposed to catch him but he misses Kendrick completely. Then Austin rakes Shelley's back...and falls down. No idea what that was supposed to be but it's booed loudly.
The faces slug it out and Shelley is sent to the floor. Austin pops Kendrick to stop the dive though as Taz calls him a funky looking possum. Kendrick gets backdropped to the floor and hits his foot/ankle on the apron on the way down. Aries sets for a dive of some sort but Shelley breaks it up. What's good for the funky possum is good for Skunk Boy I guess. Aries sends them both to the floor and stands tall for a few seconds. The Possum flies and his advantage continues.
Back in a Lionsault by Aries lands on the knees of Shelley. Aries is down and Kendrick gets caught in a Crossface. The only non rodent named person gets to the rope. Alex can't get Sliced Bread but does get a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to put the champion down. Shelley goes up for what presumably was to be the splash but Aries makes the save. I've never gotten that: why not let Shelley take Kendrick out THEN jump Shelley so you can steal the pin on Kendrick?
Aries is sent to the floor (film at 11) and Shelley puts that freaky leg lock on the champion again. Aries saves and bulldogs Shelley, putting him into an inverted chinlock (Benoit used to do it a lot). Kendrick vs. Aries now and Austin takes two different feet to the face. Sliced Bread is countered again so they try a Tower of Doom/Mega Sliced Bread move on Shelley but Kendrick falls off the top. Brainbuster hits Shelley but Kendrick saves and hits Sliced Bread to Aries onto Shelley, who he pins to retain.
Tessmacher and Tara talk about the brawl with Sarita/Rosita and we get to see why Tessmacher should be seen and not heard. Tara guarantees a win and says Come on Brooke. It's about time she had a first name.
Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher
The challengers (I've been yelled at for referring to a Mexican that portrays a Mexican who is called Mexicans as a Mexican so it's challengers now) look good in their red, white and green flag outfits of a country it's apparently racist to say by name. Tessmacher looks good in red but not as good as in blue. The challengers' male counterparts (who are of no apparent nationality or race whatsoever) are sent to the back.
Tara vs. Rosita (loving the white shorts) start but it's off to Sarita who looks like a freaky Christmas present. The challengers keep tagging quickly as it's back to Rosita who snaps off a rana on Tara. Tara's response: KICK HER IN THE FACE. Why mess with the basics? This breaks down quickly and it's Tessmacher being all feisty. She gets her face rammed into the buckle though and the challengers take over.
The fans chant for Brooke and then Tessmacher. Tazz makes an Andy Devine reference or something similar to that. Tessmacher gets beaten down but manages to grab a rollup for two and a tag as well. Tara comes in but the Widow's Peak (is that offensive to spiders? Insects maybe? Why not a thorax peak?) is broken up and Tara gets dropped on her shoulder out of a double underhook slam.
Rosita kicks Tara into a cover by Sarita for two. Sarita really likes to dance. Must be a freaky Christmas present looking thing. Widow's Peak is countered again into a rollup by Rosita for two. Mike keeps calling Tara Powerfully Hot. I really hope that isn't an attempt at a new nickname. Tessmacher makes the save again and this time, the third time (racist against even numbers much?) the Widow's Peak (complete with its own chant) ends Rosita.
Pope is trying to send out a tweet to D-Von to say the match doesn't need to happen. If he's so close to D-Von's family, why not just go to them and get D-Von's number? Pope says he's been a good influence on the family so he doesn't get why D-Von is mad. It's going to be intense though because of the BFG aspect of it. He's going to do the right thing.
D-Von is a submission away from being tied for first in the Series. That's not right. Like at all.
Bound For Glory Series: Devon vs. D'Angelo Dinero
Matt Morgan is the official analyst for the Series now. I think he has a new version of his theme music but maybe not. D-Von's kids are in the crowd and Pope says hi to them on the way to the ring. At No Surrender the top four in points will have two singles matches and the person with the most points after those matches go to Bound For Glory. Dudes, just make a tournament. Quit making it overly complicated.
Pope says D-Von is like his big brother and he expect a lot out of him, just like the kids expect something out of him. Their relationship is more important though so Pope is going to do the right thing again here. Morgan isn't happy because he's injured and Pope is laying down on this opportunity. D-Von isn't taking it though and says get up, albeit it in more colorful language.
Basic stuff to start including D-Von getting a hip toss and covering, with Pope holding him down in an attempt to get pinned. Why doesn't he just tap out while in a wristlock ala Chavo Guerrero? More basic stuff until Pope hits a forearm to take over. There's a lot of arm work in this so far. Why do wrestling companies keep thinking we want to watch commentators talk? I didn't pay $40 to watch Matt Morgan talk.
D-Von takes over again and it's back to the arm. Jumping back elbow gets two, just like a headbutt. Out to the floor and Pope misses a charging D-Von, sending him into the post. Pope gets a chain and hands it to D-Von's kids. Morgan is getting fed up with the total lack of focus on the match and I'm starting to agree with him.
Dinero starts getting something going and hammers away on the head a bit. Top rope cross body gets two. The crowd doesn't seem to be all that interested. When you can manage to bore the Impact Zone, you might be really freaking boring. Pope sets for the DDE but stops dead, allowing D-Von to spear him for two. Morgan sighs and is about to growl. D-Von tries a chokeslam (really?) and gets rolled up for the pin. Sloppy rollup too.
D-Von wants to leave but his kids say shake his hand, which D-Von does.
RVD says he'll beat Crimson when Jerry Lynn pops up. He says he'll be in RVD's corner and that's that I guess.
We recap Winter vs. Mickie James which has been set up for months now but it's not an X-Division match so it got put on hold. Angelina and Winter are working together because the zombie thing is over.
Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James
Winter's song is pretty awesome. Mickie and Winter are both looking hot here. Mickie takes over to start and grabs a leg. Kind of an awkward start as they seem like they're not clicking in the slightest. Out to the floor and some double teaming sends Mickie into the front row. For no apparent reason Winter is all cool with getting a countout. This is what I mean by a lack of psychology.
The only good thing so far in this is all the upskirt shots of Mickie. Winter works on various parts of Mickie, currently working on the back. At one point Angelina comes in and hits her spinning backbreaker. She tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but Mickie escapes. A very weak dueling chant begins. Mickie grabs a tornado DDT to send Winter to the floor. Angelina comes in to try it again but Mickie takes her down. She tries to come in a third time but gets caught, allowing Winter to spit mist (think Muta) into her face for the pin and the title.
Kendrick is talking about winning earlier when Aries pops up, telling him to shush. That wasn't a triple threat but rather a handicap match. Until Kendrick beats Aries, he's not the real champion. Aries gives Kendrick the towel he was carrying and says go take a shower because you look homeless. I haven't been to Minneapolis in years but I don't think the homeless there have championship belts.
Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam
Lynn is with RVD here. The fans are behind RVD as you would expect. It's a bit surprising I guess because we know so much about Crimson and have so many reasons to care about him right? An early Rolling Thunder attempt misses and Crimson gets a suplex for two. Van Dam starts kicking and there's Rolling Thunder. Rob is holding his throat for some reason and Crimson adds in a neckbreaker for two.
Out to the floor and Van Dam uses some nice speed stuff to take Crimson down. Taz starts using bad lines to plug the sponsor like he's going to need some insurance after that. Better call Direct! Back inside and Crimson takes over with basic strikes, namely elbows and forearms to the head. Off to a cravate which makes sense with the throat/neck stuff earlier.
That doesn't last long and Van Dam gets the split legged moonsault but can't get the kick off the top. Crimson gets something like a Falcon Arrow for two. Red Sky is countered by a kick to the chest. There's the spinwheel kick from Van Dam which sets up the Five Star to NO reaction. The cover is delayed though and it only gets two. Tenay sounds like he's ordering dinner when he calls the kickout. Crimson spears him down for two. In a weird ending, RVD misses a spin kick and Crimson hits Red Sky. He covers but Lynn comes in to break it up for the obvious DQ, costing RVD ten points.
Post match RVD yells at Lynn, saying he cost him a lot of points in the Series. Lynn apologizes so there's No Surrender for you.
Anderson talks about Immortal being awesome. He curses a lot and makes noises that a 4 year old would make. This is so stupid I can't comprehend it.
We recap Fourtune vs. Immortal. It's a six man tag that is happening because they're factions and we need a match on PPV between them.
Scott Steiner/Abyss/Gunner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian/Daniels
And remember Daniels has been talking to AJ about something that hasn't been established yet. Gunner vs. Kaz to start us off and they hit the mat. Kaz grabs a front facelock and Gunner taps. It doesn't count for no apparent reason other than that isn't what's supposed to happen or something. Off to Steiner who shoves Banderas around a bit. Crucifix gets two for Kaz.
Off to AJ as Fourtune is all in black/gold trim here. Steiner is feeling rather colorful with his language tonight. The super best friends double team Steiner a bit and the bald dude comes in for Fourtune. Off to the Monster in a match that doesn't sound very appealing. Daniels tries a springboard something and falls flat on his face. He does manage to get a foot to hit Abyss so it's not a total loss.
Triple teaming puts Abyss down but Daniels charges into a spinebuster. Off to Gunner who throws on a chinlock. Steiner comes in with a suplex and it's off to Abyss quickly. Immortal likes to tag a lot. Daniels rolls through to tag in Kaz who snaps off a rana which Abyss sells really strangely. Flux Capacitor gets two. Tornado DDT sends Abyss to the floor where Kaz hits a huge dive onto him.
Everything breaks down and they head to the floor. Steiner and Gunner set up a table to try to validate this as a hardcore show. Back to normal now with Steiner beating up Kaz. There are the push-ups. Gunner comes back in and continues to be as basic as possible while still trying to be all tough and evil. Off to Abyss as this has been domination for awhile.
Kaz manages to get a DDT to take Abyss down and there's the hot tag to AJ. AJ fights off Immortal and hits a springboard cross body on Abyss for two. Styles Clash is countered as is Abyss' chokeslam. Pele puts Abyss in 619 position but Gunner makes a save from a pin. Everything breaks down again and Daniels hits an STO into a Lionsault. AJ goes up but gets crotched and Gunner tries to F5 him through the table. Daniels saves and both he and Gunner go through the table. AJ hits a springboard Pele on Abyss for the pin.
Immortal yells at Abyss post match.
Ray says there's only room for one of them in Immortal. Everyone makes mistakes. He carried D-Von around for 15 years. JB's parents made a mistake when they had him. Even Hogan and Bischoff made a mistake when they let Anderson into Immortal. Anderson is going to get beaten out of Immortal.
We recap Anderson vs. Ray. Basically it's about Ray volunteering Anderson to face Kurt Angle and then costing him the match. This is a contest over who can be a bigger jerk for the most part.
Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray
Ray comes out first and talks trash to Taz for some reason. He also sets for an attack on Anderson, who I guess doesn't notice the lack of Bully Ray in the ring even though he would have come out second. Another thing I've always wondered: how do guys not get in fights when they're waiting to come through the curtain? In a cool bit, Ray sneaks up on him and Anderson says into the mic Yeah I know he's behind me and turns around to slug Ray.
After he beats on him for a bit he repeats his name. I'll give him a pass for the cool bit before that. This might be a street fight but I'm not sure. They brawl around the railing and I don't think a bell has rung yet. They haven't been in the ring yet. Ray goes into the post/steps at the same time. Into the ring now and Ray gets a shot in to take over. Anderson takes forever to get up from a pretty normal shot.
Big chop in the corner as Ray has dominated the in ring aspect of this. I'm pretty surprised by that as he's certainly more of a brawler than a wrestler. Side slam gets two. Ray hammers away and talks more trash which motivates Anderson. It's about time something did. They slug it out from their knees and Bubba tries the Bubba Bomb which is countered into a DDT by Anderson to put both guys down.
It's boo/yay time with Anderson being the popular and therefore successful one. Ray starts no selling stuff as clotheslines and shoulder blocks have no effect on him. An elbow does though as does a neckbreaker which gets two. Mic Check is blocked as is a release Rock Bottom. Another Mic Check is avoided but Anderson steals Amazing Red's double spin kick for two.
Swanton hits for two as Ray reverses into a crucifix for two of his own. Cutter gets two for Ray. He grabs the chain but Kenderson picks him up in a fireman's carry. Instead of the rollthrough that he usually does though he falls backwards by accident, adding yet another to the insane list of botches tonight. Ray tumbles into the ropes which gets two for some reason.
Ray tries to walk out but that doesn't work all that well. Anderson is kind of wrestling face here by default, which of course messes up the whole dynamic of him but it's TNA with a tweener so who cares? Anderson has the chain now which is quickly taken away. The delay allows Ray to low blow him and roll him up for the pin. Not wild on that ending.
Hogan and Bischoff are here. Gee how nice of them to grace us with their presence. Hogan isn't happy and yells at Abyss, saying he isn't a little cruiserweight out there. Bischoff yells at him too. Ray comes up and asks if they saw that and they don't care. Immortal goes to have a meeting but Bischoff tells Abyss to stay there. If this leads to anything other than Abyssamania I'm happy.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America
TNA named them that so don't yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It's officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.
Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.
Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it's been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.
Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it's time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!
Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain...again.
Angle says he needs to beat Sting to be considered the best ever. Angle says he won't lose and that's it.
Hype video for the main event which is more or less a clash of the titans. Angle allegedly has never beaten Sting which is false but he did say he's never beaten him without help, so they're covered. Angle insists it's just business, which is never a safe line to say in wrestling.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle
Big match intros fill in some time. Sting is in gray which is a weird look on him. Sting grabs the arm to start as this seems like it's going to be a feeling out process to start. I think they're going for the big epic match but that's just not going to happen here. Angle grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere. The dueling chants are already going and Sting's paint is like 1/3 off less than two minutes in.
Now Angle works on the arm. The gray isn't working for Sting as it looks like he's dusty. Sting escapes and works on the leg to set up for the Scorpion. Angle fights back and hammers away. The champ backdrops him over the top and out to the floor as things slow down a bit. Out to the floor for the usual railing stuff. Back inside and Angle grabs a Samoan Drop for two.
There's a seated reverse chinlock as Angle works on the back a lot. Off to a slightly modified version of the same chinlock after a few quick covers. Sting pops out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. DDT gets two for the champ. Angle pops off the belly to belly for the same. Sting grabs the Death Drop and you would think Tenay was ordering lunch. Actually scratch that as picking the chicken salad would be more emphatic than that.
Rolling Germans by Angle get two. Tenay sounds like he doesn't care at all about these covers and near falls. Moonsault misses so Sting hits an Angle Slam for two. There's the Scorpion which isn't sat down on at all. He finally makes a rope but Sting hits the Splash but the second one misses. Angle Slam hits for two and no reaction from anyone. Kurt charges at Sting in the corner but his shoulder hits the post.
Sting throws on the ankle lock and they speed things up a bit. Angle puts on the Scorpion Deathlock because that's how Angle matches roll. Here are some more rolling Germans and Kurt grabs the ankle lock. Sting rolls through for two. And there goes the referee due to a misses enziguri by Kurt. Well it IS a TNA main event. Heeee're Hulk with a chair. He gets the best reaction of the night and sets to pop Sting with the chair. Angle grabs it from him and Hogan leaves. Kurt blasts Sting with the chair and the Angle Slam gives him the world title.
Hogan isn't happy but he isn't furious either. TUNE INTO IMPACT BABY!!!
Results
Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries
Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita Widow's Peak to Rosita
D'Angelo Dinero b. Devon Rollup
Winter b. Mickie James Pin after spitting mist into James' face
Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered
AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner Springboard Pele to Abyss
Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson Rollup
Beer Money b. Mexican America Superkick to Anarquia
Kurt Angle b. Sting Angle Slam
Quick Results
Raw
Beth Phoenix won a Divas Battle Royal
The Miz/R-Truth b. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio What's Up to Morrison
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella Middle rope elbow/backbreaker combination to Ryder
Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne Cross Armbreaker
NXT
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG Iron Curtain
Titus O'Neil/Matt Striker b. Darren Young/Derrick Bateman Clash of the Titus to Young
Impact Wrestling
Miss Tessmacher b. Madison Rayne Small Package
Devon b. AJ Styles Rollup
D'Angelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Samoa Joe wouldn't let go of the Koquina Clutch
Hernandez b. Bobby Roode Rollup
Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley Brainbuster
Crimson/Rob Van Dam b. Gunner/Scott Steiner
Smackdown
Sheamus b. Great Khali Brogue Kick
Natalya b. AJ Sharpshooter
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd Guillotine Choke
Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder Torture Rack
Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov World's Strongest Slam
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta
Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison Killswitch to Orton
Hardcore Justice 2011
Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries
Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita Widow's Peak to Rosita
D'Angelo Dinero b. Devon Rollup
Winter b. Mickie James Pin after spitting mist into James' face
Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered
AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner Springboard Pele to Abyss
Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson Rollup
Beer Money b. Mexican America Superkick to Anarquia
Kurt Angle b. Sting Angle Slam
Bunch of people leaving WWE: Masters, Kozlov and Melina were released and Gail Kim quit.
David Hart Smith is released. I had no idea he still had a job.
Impact got a 1.1, down slightly from last week.
Smackdown
Date: August 5, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole
We have two more shows before Summerslam and this is the first of them. I'd expect a lot of build for Christian vs. Orton V and also some more from the midcard stuff that Smackdown has gotten good at. The big thing though is the freshly face Sheamus continuing Mark Henry. I'm giddy over that one. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Sheamus vs. Henry. The crowd popped huge in the arena for the line of I'll fight him.
Sheamus vs. Great Khali
Here's a test....kind of. I was confused at first because the tron video said Jinder Mahal, which would have surprised me. Josh immediately gets on my nerves by saying they're on the campus of the University of Kentucky, which is flat out not true. The city owns Rupp Arena and it's not on the campus. The only affiliation it has with UK is the basketball team plays there. Everyone makes that mistake that isn't from here though so it's understandable. For some reason it's like they're afraid to say Lexington.
Sheamus vs. Henry is announced for Summerslam. Khali takes him down quickly with the power game. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes so that Khali is facing the crowd and pounds away on the chest. He goes up top but gets chopped in the chest to send him back down to the floor. Time for a nerve hold since Khali isn't that versatile in the ring, nor does he need to be.
Khali chops away in the corner and Sheamus fires off some double axes to the chest. Sheamus is all fires up but a chop to the head stops the Brogue Kick. It only gets two, despite being the finisher of a former world champion. Vice Grip goes on but Sheamus breaks that too. He elbows Khali in the ribs and the Brogue Kick hits for the pin at 5:22.
The Rewind is Beth eliminating the Bellas and turning heel on Kelly. This was the Slam of the Week in the arena. No idea why they changed it.
AJ vs. Natalya
What an odd choice for a match. Commentary goes silent for some reason and until Josh says something about AJ being the Diva next door or something similar to that. AJ takes her down with a headlock and Natalya can't figure her out. And never mind as a crucifix is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.
Post match Nattie turns on AJ, beating her down and hitting a snap suplex on the floor. She says she's with Beth: no more pretty princesses.
Ryder will be giving the State of the Showski later. The reaction to this is fake as the fans didn't move for that graphic other than a few people.
Orton gets a big pop and we see a video from last week where Orton hit an RKO on Truth on the table and then a second to go with it. He's not worried about Summerslam because he knows Christian can't beat him clean.
Video on Justin Gabriel in South Africa. This is different from last week's and it has more wrestling in it.
Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan
Barrett is on commentary. Bryan has new music which sounds like it's out of a thriller movie trailer. Bryan's pop was barely there when he came out. Some chain wrestling starts us off and Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner. Kidd is sent to the apron and then to the floor where Bryan hits a big dive through the ropes, shoving Kidd to the floor. Kidd gets a shot in on the knee and starts the attack on it.
Figure four around the post goes on and Bryan is in trouble. Barrett talks about how he doesn't think Bryan is going to cash in. That makes sense as it would be surprising if he made it that far. We take a break and come back with Kidd working on the knee. I'm not sure if anything actually changed in that break so they might have just picked up immediately where they left off.
A quick leg lock goes on until Bryan starts his comeback. He goes up top but gets crotched instead. Cole and Barrett ramble about how much they hate Bryan. Good to see them talking about the match at all. Kidd hasn't been talked about once. Bryan fights Kidd off the top and hits a missile dropkick but can't follow up due to the knee.
He fires off some kicks but has to pause because of the pain, allowing Kidd to hit a (American) dragon screw leg whip and a half crab. Bryan escapes but can't get the LeBell Lock. Pinfall reversal sequence doesn't go anywhere but Bryan gets all fired up and hammers away with forearms. BIG kick to the head sets up the guillotine choke and we're done at 7:00. I timed the match at 7:45 live so we didn't miss much at all.
Barrett and Bryan stare each other down post match. There's a match teased but not officially announced.
State of the Showski is up next.
Here's Ryder who got a small reaction but it was there. Ryder takes credit for the ratings going up because he's the assistant GM. He says he's going to change a lot of stuff but Big Zeke cuts him off. He got zero reaction at all. Zeke says Ryder must think he's here to beat up Ryder for being in the handicap match last week. Jackson isn't happy but Ryder says he thought they had an agreement.
They're cut off by Cody's music and here's one half of the biggest rib in wrestling history (think about it: the sons of Dusty Rhodes were a metrosexual and whatever Goldust was. How could that not be a massive rib?) along with Ted who is in wrestling gear. Cody says Jackson has sour grapes and is unbecoming of a champion. He says Jackson is making the championship look bad so Cody should just take it from him and resurrect it, just like he's resurrected Ted's career.
Jackson says he's merely using DiBiase. Cody says Ted has free will and Ted should come out and beat Jackson right now. That's up to Ted and Ryder though. Ryder says cool but here's Teddy (who got a surprisingly good reaction) to protest. Ryder is NOT the assistant GM but rather Teddy's assistant. Teddy makes Ryder vs. Jackson for right now. Gee it's a good thing they're both in wrestling gear.
Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder
Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I'm really not sure if he's face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn't work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we're done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson's head.
Teddy is in his office and here's Aksana, now with long black hair and a leather suit. There's bad romantic sounding music in the background. She wants to talk business with him so he gives her one of his cards. She asks for his personal number which he gives to her. That was rather odd.
Mark Henry is up next.
At this point the show stopped taping and HHH came to the ring and talked about having stress. Ryder was still in the ring and HHH got in some one liners about various wrestlers. He asked the crowd if they could keep a secret and dropped Ryder with a Pedigree. Awesome moment and the pop of the night.
Mark Henry vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Vlad fires away but can't really get anywhere. He manages the trapping headbutts but Henry remembers that he's a monster heel and plants Kozlov with the World's Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:15.
Post match he Pillmanizes Kozlov's leg, which explains him leaving since Kozlov was released today. Sheamus comes out late for the save with a chair. Henry bails, not wanting to fight until Summerslam. Kozlov goes out on a stretcher.
After a break Sheamus says that Henry isn't just beating people but rather is taking their ability and will to do what they love. That won't happen to Sheamus though because no one can take away his passion to compete here. There are many reasons but the biggest is because he's Irish, which means he has the Luck of the Irish. The following is a near direct quote of the next few things he says: And that means I was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up me arse. And if need be I can rip that horseshoe out and leave hoofprints on him. Oh and Henry is a whale that belongs in the ocean with Shamu.
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga/JTG vs. Trent Barreta/Uso Brothers
The Usos do their rhythmic dance thing. Remember when they were all sophisticated or whatever it was? Jey vs. JTG to start us off. Off to McGillicutty and then Otunga rather quickly. And now let's talk about what the announcers are tweeting at ringside. Apparently Booker said Cole is a tool. Jimmy is getting beaten down at the moment and there isn't much else to say as far as the match goes. Hot tag to Trent who is someone I'd like to see more of. Everything breaks down and the champions hit that elbow drop/backbreaker combo to end Baretta at 3:43.
Johnny Curtis sees the writing on the wall and will be in action next week.
Raw ReBound is about the Cena vs. Punk vs. HHH moments from Raw and how the match at Summerslam was made.
Christian says he isn't surprised that the match with Orton is now no holds barred. Everyone has been on Orton's side. Truth pops up to say it was a conspiracy. He says not to let the Little Jimmys fool him and that tonight Orton is gonna get got. Christian still doesn't know who Little Jimmy is.
Randy Orton/John Morrison vs. R-Truth/Christian
When did Morrison lose his pyro? Oh ok that part wasn't on the broadcast. Kind of surprised they didn't have that for the live crowd though. Orton and Truth start us off and Truth hammers him down into the corner. Morrison comes in and Truth runs so he can tag in the Canadian. There's that big spinning springboard kick for two.
Christian takes him down though and it's off to the coward crazy R-Truth. Suplex into the Stunner is countered (called that move by Booker) and Morrison goes all angry JoMo on him, hitting the running knee for two. Christian breaks it up and Orton chases him to the floor and into the crowd where we take a break. Back with Morrison and Truth hammering away on each other. During the break Orton stared Christian down a lot while the other two laid down in the ring.
Truth works on the neck which is logical. Good thing that when he went nuts he didn't lose his wrestling psychology. Christian comes in and gets a neckbreaker for two. Have one of those ever broken a neck? Middle rope headbutt misses but Christian is smart enough to take Orton out before John can make the tag. Truth comes in and does a little dance which makes it look like he wants to make a little love to Orton.
Morrison comes out of nowhere with the C4 to put both himself and Truth down. Hot tag brings in Orton and the fans are all fired up. Powerslam puts Christian down and Orton gets a jackknife cover for two. Killswitch is blocked into the backbreaker for two. Orton grabs a rollup out of the corner for two. Christian hits a spinebuster that Booker calls a sidewalk slam. Spear misses but Christian avoids the RKO.
Instead Orton gets him in punting position but Truth and Morrison come back in. Morrison sends him to the floor and dives out onto him. Christian jumps Orton but gets caught in the elevated DDT. Truth comes in and takes the RKO but Christian grabs the Killswitch and pins Orton 11:55 shown of what I thought was closer to 20 minutes but whatever.
Results
Sheamus b. Great Khali Brogue Kick
Natalya b. AJ Sharpshooter
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd Guillotine Choke
Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder Torture Rack
Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov World's Strongest Slam
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta
Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison Killswitch to Orton
Saturday
Nothing of note.
Sunday
Hardcore Justice 2011
Date: August 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Well at least there's no ECW tonight. This card looks like it's loaded up with a lot of stuff that not many people other than the really big fans would be interested in. The main event is Sting vs. Angle because goodness knows we haven't seen those two fight enough in the past. I'd assume some kind of shenanigans because this is a TNA show after all. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Sting vs. Angle with Sting going all crazy. He seems to like it. Angle is coming after Sting and the title though. Sting needs the belt right now to help fight Hogan and Bischoff and bring back Carter. Sting says he hasn't snapped but that he just feels good. Angle says that it's just business.
They even have a sponsor tonight: Direct Auto Insurance. That's a good thing.
X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries
Taz says he sees a lot of himself in Aries. Not sure on that one. Kendrick has some weird new music and he's back in the shorts. Well long shorts but whatever. There's a big brown thing on the front that looks like a huge patch. Aries is sent to the floor quickly and has no issues with just chilling out there. Well you can't say he's not thinking. Not that this isn't the strategy of almost every heel in a triple threat or anything but still.
Down to a one on one match at the moment and Shelley takes him to the mat. They ask for Aries to come back in but he declines. Alex throws on a wristlock as Aries is getting back in very slowly. And never mind as he's right back outside. The fans are behind Shelley here. Shelley backs him into the corner and Aries holds him in place there. Not sure why but he just kind of did.
Shelley pops Aries on the apron and Austin is down again. Ah there he is and never mind as he's knocked to the floor again. They totally botch something as Shelley is suplexing Kendrick and Aries is supposed to catch him but he misses Kendrick completely. Then Austin rakes Shelley's back...and falls down. No idea what that was supposed to be but it's booed loudly.
The faces slug it out and Shelley is sent to the floor. Austin pops Kendrick to stop the dive though as Taz calls him a funky looking possum. Kendrick gets backdropped to the floor and hits his foot/ankle on the apron on the way down. Aries sets for a dive of some sort but Shelley breaks it up. What's good for the funky possum is good for Skunk Boy I guess. Aries sends them both to the floor and stands tall for a few seconds. The Possum flies and his advantage continues.
Back in a Lionsault by Aries lands on the knees of Shelley. Aries is down and Kendrick gets caught in a Crossface. The only non rodent named person gets to the rope. Alex can't get Sliced Bread but does get a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to put the champion down. Shelley goes up for what presumably was to be the splash but Aries makes the save. I've never gotten that: why not let Shelley take Kendrick out THEN jump Shelley so you can steal the pin on Kendrick?
Aries is sent to the floor (film at 11) and Shelley puts that freaky leg lock on the champion again. Aries saves and bulldogs Shelley, putting him into an inverted chinlock (Benoit used to do it a lot). Kendrick vs. Aries now and Austin takes two different feet to the face. Sliced Bread is countered again so they try a Tower of Doom/Mega Sliced Bread move on Shelley but Kendrick falls off the top. Brainbuster hits Shelley but Kendrick saves and hits Sliced Bread to Aries onto Shelley, who he pins to retain.
Tessmacher and Tara talk about the brawl with Sarita/Rosita and we get to see why Tessmacher should be seen and not heard. Tara guarantees a win and says Come on Brooke. It's about time she had a first name.
Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher
The challengers (I've been yelled at for referring to a Mexican that portrays a Mexican who is called Mexicans as a Mexican so it's challengers now) look good in their red, white and green flag outfits of a country it's apparently racist to say by name. Tessmacher looks good in red but not as good as in blue. The challengers' male counterparts (who are of no apparent nationality or race whatsoever) are sent to the back.
Tara vs. Rosita (loving the white shorts) start but it's off to Sarita who looks like a freaky Christmas present. The challengers keep tagging quickly as it's back to Rosita who snaps off a rana on Tara. Tara's response: KICK HER IN THE FACE. Why mess with the basics? This breaks down quickly and it's Tessmacher being all feisty. She gets her face rammed into the buckle though and the challengers take over.
The fans chant for Brooke and then Tessmacher. Tazz makes an Andy Devine reference or something similar to that. Tessmacher gets beaten down but manages to grab a rollup for two and a tag as well. Tara comes in but the Widow's Peak (is that offensive to spiders? Insects maybe? Why not a thorax peak?) is broken up and Tara gets dropped on her shoulder out of a double underhook slam.
Rosita kicks Tara into a cover by Sarita for two. Sarita really likes to dance. Must be a freaky Christmas present looking thing. Widow's Peak is countered again into a rollup by Rosita for two. Mike keeps calling Tara Powerfully Hot. I really hope that isn't an attempt at a new nickname. Tessmacher makes the save again and this time, the third time (racist against even numbers much?) the Widow's Peak (complete with its own chant) ends Rosita.
Pope is trying to send out a tweet to D-Von to say the match doesn't need to happen. If he's so close to D-Von's family, why not just go to them and get D-Von's number? Pope says he's been a good influence on the family so he doesn't get why D-Von is mad. It's going to be intense though because of the BFG aspect of it. He's going to do the right thing.
D-Von is a submission away from being tied for first in the Series. That's not right. Like at all.
Bound For Glory Series: Devon vs. D'Angelo Dinero
Matt Morgan is the official analyst for the Series now. I think he has a new version of his theme music but maybe not. D-Von's kids are in the crowd and Pope says hi to them on the way to the ring. At No Surrender the top four in points will have two singles matches and the person with the most points after those matches go to Bound For Glory. Dudes, just make a tournament. Quit making it overly complicated.
Pope says D-Von is like his big brother and he expect a lot out of him, just like the kids expect something out of him. Their relationship is more important though so Pope is going to do the right thing again here. Morgan isn't happy because he's injured and Pope is laying down on this opportunity. D-Von isn't taking it though and says get up, albeit it in more colorful language.
Basic stuff to start including D-Von getting a hip toss and covering, with Pope holding him down in an attempt to get pinned. Why doesn't he just tap out while in a wristlock ala Chavo Guerrero? More basic stuff until Pope hits a forearm to take over. There's a lot of arm work in this so far. Why do wrestling companies keep thinking we want to watch commentators talk? I didn't pay $40 to watch Matt Morgan talk.
D-Von takes over again and it's back to the arm. Jumping back elbow gets two, just like a headbutt. Out to the floor and Pope misses a charging D-Von, sending him into the post. Pope gets a chain and hands it to D-Von's kids. Morgan is getting fed up with the total lack of focus on the match and I'm starting to agree with him.
Dinero starts getting something going and hammers away on the head a bit. Top rope cross body gets two. The crowd doesn't seem to be all that interested. When you can manage to bore the Impact Zone, you might be really freaking boring. Pope sets for the DDE but stops dead, allowing D-Von to spear him for two. Morgan sighs and is about to growl. D-Von tries a chokeslam (really?) and gets rolled up for the pin. Sloppy rollup too.
D-Von wants to leave but his kids say shake his hand, which D-Von does.
RVD says he'll beat Crimson when Jerry Lynn pops up. He says he'll be in RVD's corner and that's that I guess.
We recap Winter vs. Mickie James which has been set up for months now but it's not an X-Division match so it got put on hold. Angelina and Winter are working together because the zombie thing is over.
Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James
Winter's song is pretty awesome. Mickie and Winter are both looking hot here. Mickie takes over to start and grabs a leg. Kind of an awkward start as they seem like they're not clicking in the slightest. Out to the floor and some double teaming sends Mickie into the front row. For no apparent reason Winter is all cool with getting a countout. This is what I mean by a lack of psychology.
The only good thing so far in this is all the upskirt shots of Mickie. Winter works on various parts of Mickie, currently working on the back. At one point Angelina comes in and hits her spinning backbreaker. She tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but Mickie escapes. A very weak dueling chant begins. Mickie grabs a tornado DDT to send Winter to the floor. Angelina comes in to try it again but Mickie takes her down. She tries to come in a third time but gets caught, allowing Winter to spit mist (think Muta) into her face for the pin and the title.
Kendrick is talking about winning earlier when Aries pops up, telling him to shush. That wasn't a triple threat but rather a handicap match. Until Kendrick beats Aries, he's not the real champion. Aries gives Kendrick the towel he was carrying and says go take a shower because you look homeless. I haven't been to Minneapolis in years but I don't think the homeless there have championship belts.
Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam
Lynn is with RVD here. The fans are behind RVD as you would expect. It's a bit surprising I guess because we know so much about Crimson and have so many reasons to care about him right? An early Rolling Thunder attempt misses and Crimson gets a suplex for two. Van Dam starts kicking and there's Rolling Thunder. Rob is holding his throat for some reason and Crimson adds in a neckbreaker for two.
Out to the floor and Van Dam uses some nice speed stuff to take Crimson down. Taz starts using bad lines to plug the sponsor like he's going to need some insurance after that. Better call Direct! Back inside and Crimson takes over with basic strikes, namely elbows and forearms to the head. Off to a cravate which makes sense with the throat/neck stuff earlier.
That doesn't last long and Van Dam gets the split legged moonsault but can't get the kick off the top. Crimson gets something like a Falcon Arrow for two. Red Sky is countered by a kick to the chest. There's the spinwheel kick from Van Dam which sets up the Five Star to NO reaction. The cover is delayed though and it only gets two. Tenay sounds like he's ordering dinner when he calls the kickout. Crimson spears him down for two. In a weird ending, RVD misses a spin kick and Crimson hits Red Sky. He covers but Lynn comes in to break it up for the obvious DQ, costing RVD ten points.
Post match RVD yells at Lynn, saying he cost him a lot of points in the Series. Lynn apologizes so there's No Surrender for you.
Anderson talks about Immortal being awesome. He curses a lot and makes noises that a 4 year old would make. This is so stupid I can't comprehend it.
We recap Fourtune vs. Immortal. It's a six man tag that is happening because they're factions and we need a match on PPV between them.
Scott Steiner/Abyss/Gunner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian/Daniels
And remember Daniels has been talking to AJ about something that hasn't been established yet. Gunner vs. Kaz to start us off and they hit the mat. Kaz grabs a front facelock and Gunner taps. It doesn't count for no apparent reason other than that isn't what's supposed to happen or something. Off to Steiner who shoves Banderas around a bit. Crucifix gets two for Kaz.
Off to AJ as Fourtune is all in black/gold trim here. Steiner is feeling rather colorful with his language tonight. The super best friends double team Steiner a bit and the bald dude comes in for Fourtune. Off to the Monster in a match that doesn't sound very appealing. Daniels tries a springboard something and falls flat on his face. He does manage to get a foot to hit Abyss so it's not a total loss.
Triple teaming puts Abyss down but Daniels charges into a spinebuster. Off to Gunner who throws on a chinlock. Steiner comes in with a suplex and it's off to Abyss quickly. Immortal likes to tag a lot. Daniels rolls through to tag in Kaz who snaps off a rana which Abyss sells really strangely. Flux Capacitor gets two. Tornado DDT sends Abyss to the floor where Kaz hits a huge dive onto him.
Everything breaks down and they head to the floor. Steiner and Gunner set up a table to try to validate this as a hardcore show. Back to normal now with Steiner beating up Kaz. There are the push-ups. Gunner comes back in and continues to be as basic as possible while still trying to be all tough and evil. Off to Abyss as this has been domination for awhile.
Kaz manages to get a DDT to take Abyss down and there's the hot tag to AJ. AJ fights off Immortal and hits a springboard cross body on Abyss for two. Styles Clash is countered as is Abyss' chokeslam. Pele puts Abyss in 619 position but Gunner makes a save from a pin. Everything breaks down again and Daniels hits an STO into a Lionsault. AJ goes up but gets crotched and Gunner tries to F5 him through the table. Daniels saves and both he and Gunner go through the table. AJ hits a springboard Pele on Abyss for the pin.
Immortal yells at Abyss post match.
Ray says there's only room for one of them in Immortal. Everyone makes mistakes. He carried D-Von around for 15 years. JB's parents made a mistake when they had him. Even Hogan and Bischoff made a mistake when they let Anderson into Immortal. Anderson is going to get beaten out of Immortal.
We recap Anderson vs. Ray. Basically it's about Ray volunteering Anderson to face Kurt Angle and then costing him the match. This is a contest over who can be a bigger jerk for the most part.
Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray
Ray comes out first and talks trash to Taz for some reason. He also sets for an attack on Anderson, who I guess doesn't notice the lack of Bully Ray in the ring even though he would have come out second. Another thing I've always wondered: how do guys not get in fights when they're waiting to come through the curtain? In a cool bit, Ray sneaks up on him and Anderson says into the mic Yeah I know he's behind me and turns around to slug Ray.
After he beats on him for a bit he repeats his name. I'll give him a pass for the cool bit before that. This might be a street fight but I'm not sure. They brawl around the railing and I don't think a bell has rung yet. They haven't been in the ring yet. Ray goes into the post/steps at the same time. Into the ring now and Ray gets a shot in to take over. Anderson takes forever to get up from a pretty normal shot.
Big chop in the corner as Ray has dominated the in ring aspect of this. I'm pretty surprised by that as he's certainly more of a brawler than a wrestler. Side slam gets two. Ray hammers away and talks more trash which motivates Anderson. It's about time something did. They slug it out from their knees and Bubba tries the Bubba Bomb which is countered into a DDT by Anderson to put both guys down.
It's boo/yay time with Anderson being the popular and therefore successful one. Ray starts no selling stuff as clotheslines and shoulder blocks have no effect on him. An elbow does though as does a neckbreaker which gets two. Mic Check is blocked as is a release Rock Bottom. Another Mic Check is avoided but Anderson steals Amazing Red's double spin kick for two.
Swanton hits for two as Ray reverses into a crucifix for two of his own. Cutter gets two for Ray. He grabs the chain but Kenderson picks him up in a fireman's carry. Instead of the rollthrough that he usually does though he falls backwards by accident, adding yet another to the insane list of botches tonight. Ray tumbles into the ropes which gets two for some reason.
Ray tries to walk out but that doesn't work all that well. Anderson is kind of wrestling face here by default, which of course messes up the whole dynamic of him but it's TNA with a tweener so who cares? Anderson has the chain now which is quickly taken away. The delay allows Ray to low blow him and roll him up for the pin. Not wild on that ending.
Hogan and Bischoff are here. Gee how nice of them to grace us with their presence. Hogan isn't happy and yells at Abyss, saying he isn't a little cruiserweight out there. Bischoff yells at him too. Ray comes up and asks if they saw that and they don't care. Immortal goes to have a meeting but Bischoff tells Abyss to stay there. If this leads to anything other than Abyssamania I'm happy.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America
TNA named them that so don't yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It's officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.
Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.
Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it's been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.
Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it's time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!
Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain...again.
Angle says he needs to beat Sting to be considered the best ever. Angle says he won't lose and that's it.
Hype video for the main event which is more or less a clash of the titans. Angle allegedly has never beaten Sting which is false but he did say he's never beaten him without help, so they're covered. Angle insists it's just business, which is never a safe line to say in wrestling.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle
Big match intros fill in some time. Sting is in gray which is a weird look on him. Sting grabs the arm to start as this seems like it's going to be a feeling out process to start. I think they're going for the big epic match but that's just not going to happen here. Angle grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere. The dueling chants are already going and Sting's paint is like 1/3 off less than two minutes in.
Now Angle works on the arm. The gray isn't working for Sting as it looks like he's dusty. Sting escapes and works on the leg to set up for the Scorpion. Angle fights back and hammers away. The champ backdrops him over the top and out to the floor as things slow down a bit. Out to the floor for the usual railing stuff. Back inside and Angle grabs a Samoan Drop for two.
There's a seated reverse chinlock as Angle works on the back a lot. Off to a slightly modified version of the same chinlock after a few quick covers. Sting pops out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. DDT gets two for the champ. Angle pops off the belly to belly for the same. Sting grabs the Death Drop and you would think Tenay was ordering lunch. Actually scratch that as picking the chicken salad would be more emphatic than that.
Rolling Germans by Angle get two. Tenay sounds like he doesn't care at all about these covers and near falls. Moonsault misses so Sting hits an Angle Slam for two. There's the Scorpion which isn't sat down on at all. He finally makes a rope but Sting hits the Splash but the second one misses. Angle Slam hits for two and no reaction from anyone. Kurt charges at Sting in the corner but his shoulder hits the post.
Sting throws on the ankle lock and they speed things up a bit. Angle puts on the Scorpion Deathlock because that's how Angle matches roll. Here are some more rolling Germans and Kurt grabs the ankle lock. Sting rolls through for two. And there goes the referee due to a misses enziguri by Kurt. Well it IS a TNA main event. Heeee're Hulk with a chair. He gets the best reaction of the night and sets to pop Sting with the chair. Angle grabs it from him and Hogan leaves. Kurt blasts Sting with the chair and the Angle Slam gives him the world title.
Hogan isn't happy but he isn't furious either. TUNE INTO IMPACT BABY!!!
Results
Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries
Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita Widow's Peak to Rosita
D'Angelo Dinero b. Devon Rollup
Winter b. Mickie James Pin after spitting mist into James' face
Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered
AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner Springboard Pele to Abyss
Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson Rollup
Beer Money b. Mexican America Superkick to Anarquia
Kurt Angle b. Sting Angle Slam
Quick Results
Raw
Beth Phoenix won a Divas Battle Royal
The Miz/R-Truth b. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio What's Up to Morrison
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella Middle rope elbow/backbreaker combination to Ryder
Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne Cross Armbreaker
NXT
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG Iron Curtain
Titus O'Neil/Matt Striker b. Darren Young/Derrick Bateman Clash of the Titus to Young
Impact Wrestling
Miss Tessmacher b. Madison Rayne Small Package
Devon b. AJ Styles Rollup
D'Angelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Samoa Joe wouldn't let go of the Koquina Clutch
Hernandez b. Bobby Roode Rollup
Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley Brainbuster
Crimson/Rob Van Dam b. Gunner/Scott Steiner
Smackdown
Sheamus b. Great Khali Brogue Kick
Natalya b. AJ Sharpshooter
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd Guillotine Choke
Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder Torture Rack
Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov World's Strongest Slam
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta
Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison Killswitch to Orton
Hardcore Justice 2011
Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries
Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita Widow's Peak to Rosita
D'Angelo Dinero b. Devon Rollup
Winter b. Mickie James Pin after spitting mist into James' face
Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered
AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner Springboard Pele to Abyss
Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson Rollup
Beer Money b. Mexican America Superkick to Anarquia
Kurt Angle b. Sting Angle Slam