klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 2013
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
The main story tonight is what happened last week with HHH collapsing. Tonight we're likely to get an update on his condition, meaning we're likely to hear from Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel about what they did to him. There's also a good chance that Cena will be back from the beating he received at Ryback's hands. Let's get to it.
We open with the traditional moment of remembrance due to Memorial Day which is always classy.
Recap of the end of the show from last week and Ryback's challenge to Cena.
Here's Cena to open the show. He talks about the ending to the last man standing match being controversial and about how Ryback called him out for an ambulance match. After stopping for a WE WANT BRET chant, Cena makes the counteroffer of a 3 Stages of Hell match, with stipulations of a lumberjack match, a tables match, and then the ambulance match. Cue Ryback who calls himself Beelzebub because of where he tried to take Cena. I'm assuming that means the match is on.
After Ryback leaves, here's Heyman to introduce Cena to Curtis Axel. He talks about how Axel beat HHH last week and proposes Cena vs. Axel for later tonight. Cena says that Axel has guts but says he needs to stay away from Heyman. Axel isn't impressed and wants a fight, so Cena says it's on.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston
Langston pounds Del Rio into the corner but gets caught by a quick dropkick. Del Rio low bridges him to the floor and hits a suicide dive as Cole runs through the list of networks that carry the show in different countries. Big E. drops Alberto face first on the steps for two back in the ring as Cole is now plugging the WWE App and we get a quick partial interview from Ziggler on him wanting to come back.
A backbreaker puts Del Rio down but he avoids a charge into the corner, sending Langston into the post. There's the Backstabber and a hard kick to Langston's head for two but the armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly. Langston pulls the strap down but AJ gets on the apron and takes off a turnbuckle pad. The armbreaker goes on but Langston lifts him up into the air to counter. Del Rio gets to his feet and shoves Langston chest first into the exposed buckle, allowing him to get a rollup for the pin at 4:18.
Post match Langston is upset at AJ and walks away from her.
Kane and Bryan are in the back with Bryan pacing back and forth. Bryan is muttering about the weak link until Kane yells at him, saying that only Bryan thinks he's the weak link. If they want to beat Shield tonight, Bryan needs to pull himself together. Bryan interprets this as Kane calling him the weak link.
They get into the yes/no argument but stop because Bret Hart is here. Bret calls them one of the best combinations he's ever seen, so Bryan asks Bret if anyone ever saw him as the weak link in the Hart Foundation. Hart says not really and leaves. Kane wants to know why that means something from Bret and not him. Bryan says because he's Bret Hart and you're Kane. I love how simple that is.
US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose
This is another rematch because of Shield interfering in the one on Smackdown. Kofi starts with a quick armbar but gets pounded in the corner by the champion. Ambrose ducks a quick Trouble in Paradise attempt and bails to the floor as we take a break after less than two minutes of action and less than three minutes after the end of the last commercial.
Back with Ambrose getting two off an elbow drop but Kofi fires off some elbows of his own to recover. A cross body out of the corner gets two but Dean rolls away from the Boom Drop. They trade near falls in a string of rollups before the SOS gets two for Kofi. Orton and Sheamus are watching the match on the WWE App as Kofi gets two off a springboard clothesline. Ambrose trips Kofi up and sends him off the apron into the steps, allowing the bulldog driver to end him clean at 8:23.
Post match Shield celebrates until HELL NO come out to start the tag title match after the break.
Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins
This is joined in progress after the break with Bryan being double teamed. Rollins stays in and gets caught in the ribs by a running knee before Bryan fires off kicks in the corner. Kane tags himself in and Bryan isn't pleased. A slam gets two for Kane and there's a Hart Attack by the challengers (not that the announcers make note of it or anything). Back to Bryan who fires in elbows to the jaw before dragging Seth into the corner for a tag to Kane.
The big man loads up a chokeslam but Rollins counters with a LOUD enziguri. Off to Reigns who pounds Kane down while showing no problems with his ankle from Smackdown. Roman hooks a chinlock on Kane to slow things down a bit before getting two off a slam. It's back to Seth to stomp away at the ribs and put on a chinlock of his own. Oh wait: WE GET SOMETHING ELSE FROM THE APP! This time it's the Prime Time Players watching the match. Why would I want to get that thing if that's what I'm going to get?
Anyway Kane fights back and clotheslines Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Bryan. He cleans house on the Shield, hitting a wicked German and a running dropkick to Rollins for two. Here are the rapid fire kicks to the chest and one to the head for two more. Seth loads up a superplex but Bryan slips underneath him and puts Rollins in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the chest. Bryan belly to back superplexes him down as we take a break.
Back with Rollins working over Bryan and putting him in a surfboard, only for Bryan to counter. Reigns gets the tag before Bryan can do anything else though and the beating continues. Roman gets two off a shoulder and it's back to Rollins for the downward spiral into the buckle while calling Bryan the weak link. Back to Reigns who gets caught by a running kick to the face, allowing for the hot tag to Kane.
The big man cleans house as he is known to do, getting two off the side slam to Rollins. Reigns makes the save but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. The referee tells Bryan to quit beating on Reigns on the floor but he dives off the apron into a spinebuster anyway. Rollins uses the distraction to hit the springboard knee to the head of Kane for the pin at 18:40.
We recap the opening segment.
We recap the end of last week's show and get some post show stuff with HHH saying he doesn't remember any of the matc.
Apparently the injury took place from the sledgehammer shot to the head from Brock, meaning that Axel's offense had no extra damage. HHH could be back next week.
You can vote as to whether Miz should be guest commentator, ring announcer or referee for Wade Barrett vs. Fandango.
After the break, Miz is going to be guest referee by a huge margin. I'm as shocked as you are.
Wade Barrett vs. Fandango
Fandango hits a quick chop to take over and pounds the champion (this is non-title) into the corner. An elbow to the jaw gets two but Barrett pounds away to put Fandango down for two. Barrett hits the boot to Fandango in the ropes, only to have Miz lay out Wade with the Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango gets the pin at 2:43.
Post match Miz kicks Fandango in the head as he and Summer are dancing, knocking Summer on top of him. Miz counts three because he can.
Shawn Michaels pops in to see Cena and says Cena is crazy. Cena thinks he's doing what Shawn would do and leaves.
Tons of Funk/Great Khali vs. 3MB
This is over a destroyed birthday cake apparently. Khali destroys McIntyre with chops to start before it's off to Tensai for his cannonball attack in the corner. The rest of the Band interrupts to take over but it's quickly back to Brodus. A splash in the corner and a powerslam get two on Slater as everything breaks down. The splash finishes Slater at 2:53.
Apparently it's Natalya's birthday so Khali sings Happy Birthday to her.
Video on Cena's patriotic stuff to celebrate Memorial Day.
Time for the Highlight Reel with guest Paul Heyman. After sucking up to Calgary, Jericho brings out Heyman for some insults as only Jericho can do. He talks about Heyman developing talent which Heyman agrees with, such as Chris Jericho. It was Heyman who gave Jericho his first break which Jericho agrees with. Yeah and you still owe me money. Heyman says he's going to do the same thing with Curtis Axel tonight as Axel beats Cena later in the show.
Jericho would rather talk about Heyman's other client and Heyman goes into his schtick about Lesnar. Instead, Jericho wants to talk about CM Punk, who has been gone for a month and a half. We get a clip of Punk walking out back in April and the fans chant for Mr. CM. Jericho talks about Heyman having the same suit and look on his face in both the clip and right now. Apparently Heyman was surprised to see Punk leave, but Heyman says he's wearing the suit out of respect for Jericho.
That's not enough for Jericho but Heyman doesn't know what Chris wants. Heyman goes into his usual schtick about Punk's accomplishments but Jericho cuts him off and asks where Punk is. Heyman says a statement is coming soon but that's also not good enough for Jericho. Jericho says that Punk can't be called the best in the world after being gone this long, but wonders if Punk will be at Payback in Chicago. Chris thinks he's the best in the world which ticks Heyman off. The challenge is issued by Jericho but Heyman laughs at him. After more goading from Jericho and the fans, Heyman accepts for Punk and that's that.
Bella Twins vs. Kaitlyn/Natalya
We'll say Nikki starts with Kaitlyn and a lot of choking ensues. Off to a chinlock for good measure until Kaitlyn fights up and makes the tag off to Natalya. Sharpshooter goes on for like 30 seconds but there's no tap out. Instead Brie comes in and breaks it up, only to be speared down. Kaitlyn spears Natalya by mistake, giving Nikki the pin at 3:45.
The Bellas sing Happy Birthday to Natalya.
Bret comes in to see Axel and advises him to dump Heyman. Axel says no one gave him the time of day before last week but Heyman finally did. He's completely right but we're supposed to be offended I guess.
Bray Wyatt video. He and his Family are coming soon. For those of you NXT fans, you know why this is awesome.
Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars
Orton and Rhodes start things off with Randy running him over. Off to Sheamus with the slingshot shoulder for two before Sandow and Orton come in again. Damien pounds him down in the corner and brings Rhodes back in, only to have him caught in a suplex. Back to Sheamus who is stomped down in the corner before coming back with a neckbreaker for two. Sheamus goes up but gets slammed down by Sandow as we take a break.
Back with Sandow choking on Sheamus before it's back to Rhodes for a body scissors. Back up and there's the Irish Curse, allowing for the tag off to Orton. Both Scholars walk into powerslams and there's the Elevated DDT to Sandow. We head to the floor with Rhodes and Orton colliding before Sandow throws Orton in for two. Cody hits the front suplex before it's back to Damien with the Wind-Up Elbow for two.
Back to Cody who walks into the t-bone suplex, allowing for the tag to Sheamus. House is cleaned and there are ten forearms to Damien. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Sheamus for two, only to have Sheamus escape the Terminus and hit White Noise. Brogue Kick and we're done at 15:40.
Curtis Axel vs. John Cena
Cena hits a quick hiptoss and we're already at a break. Back with Axel in control on the floor before heading back in for more pounding. A snap suplex gets two as the fans are looking at something in the audience. Axel wisely goes to an armbar until the fans are paying attention again. Back up and Axel clotheslines him in the back of the head for two as the fans are paying attention again. Cena fights up and hits the shoulders and ProtoBomb.
The Shuffle connects but Axel pops out of the AA and hits a dropkick for two. A middle rope ax handle connects but the second one misses, allowing Cena to hit a standing powerslam for two. Axel channels his Papa with a Hennig necksnap and a kick in the face for two. The PerfectPlex is escaped into an STF attempt but Axel escapes again. The AA is countered into a PerfectPlex for two but Axel misses a splash in the corner. Cue Ryback with the ambulance and Cena walks towards it, earning a countout at 11:54.
Ryback jumps Cena from behind because he isn't in the ambulance. He tries to ram Cena through the set like at the PPV but Cena escapes. The AA off the stage doesn't work either and Ryback bails. Important point: Axel is announced as the winner and poses with his music playing to end the show. Cena even applauds him as we go off the air.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. Langston Rollup
Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston Bulldog Driver
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO Springboard knee to the Head
Fandango b. Wade Barrett Skull Crushing Finale
Tons of Funk/Great Khali b. 3MB Splash to Slater
Bella Twins b. Kaitlyn/Natalya Spear to Kaitlyn
Curtis Axel b. John Cena via countout
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.86, up from last week.
Wednesday
WWE will be teaming with the Flintstones for a new animated movie in 2015.
Kofi Kingston will be out 4-8 weeks with an elbow injury.
NXT
Date: May 29, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Brad Maddox
Tonight we have some main event stuff to get to as it's time for the #1 contenders battle royal, with the winner getting a shot at Langston at some point in the future. Other than that it's hard to say what we'll get which is one of the most interesting parts of a show like NXT. Odds are everyone will be in the battle royal with some working other matches tonight. Let's get to it.
Welcome Home.
Wyatt Family vs. Travis Tyler/Sawyer Fulton
Non-title. There's something very wrong about the Family having Twitter handles. Sawyer and Harper get things going with Lke running over Fulton like one half of a monster tag team running over a jobber in a squash match. Off to Rowan who pounds away in the corner with a headbutt and a chop before it's back to Harper for more chops. Tom says that the tag is off to Fulton, making me think he has no idea which is which. Not that it really matters as Harper charges at Fulton in the corner and the discus lariat is good for the pin at 2:30.
Here's Stephanie McMahon (in a studio) for a big announcement. She says that there will be a tournament to crown the first NXT Divas Champion. The tournament starts next week.
Emma vs. Audrey Marie
I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm warming up to the dancing. Why this isn't a first round tournament match is beyond me but the more interesting part is the crowd going NUTS for Emma. She wants her music started again after the bell rings for more dancing but Audrey smacks her in the face. More dancing ensues but Emma gets two off a sunset flip. A bad looking gutwrench suplex gets two for Marie and they trade some backslides for two each. Emma even busts out a Tarantula, called the Dilemma. Emma hits a slingshot to set up a bridging Indian Deathlock (complete with dancing as she bends back) for the win at 2:52.
Scott Dawson and Garrett Dylan are in the back but their loud and annoying manager with a French accent. The manager isn't named but it might be that Enzo Amore guy from last week.
Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan vs. Brandon Traven/Jake Carter
Apparently the manager is named Sylvester LeFort. Dawson and Dylan look like Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. Apparently LeFort is an eccentric French investor who travels the world looking for interesting business opportunities. That's not one you hear everyday. Carter pounds away on Dawson in the corner to start but Scott sends him out to the floor to take over. A few knee drops get two before it's off to Dylan.
Garrett hooks a chinlock on Carter for a bit as Maddox describes Dawson as someone who likely doesn't flush. I'm not touching that one. Anyway Carter fights out and crawls between Dylan's legs for the tag to Traven who is almost immediately clotheslined down. Dawson hits a spinebuster followed by a middle rope ax handle to a laid out Traven for the pin at 4:04.
Big E. Langston vs. Derrick Bateman
Bateman has a haircut which makes him look even more bland if that's possible. Langston doesn't have the I'm A Soldier part at the beginning of his music now. Bateman jumps Big E. to start but gets shoved down and thrown into the air to put him back down. Langston runs him over and the Big Ending ends Derrick at 58 seconds.
Another Big Ending sets up the five count post match.
The Raw ReBound is about the main event between Cena and Axel.
Next week it's Ohno/Graves vs. the Wyatt Family.
Langston is on commentary for the battle royal. This should be awesome.
Battle Royal
Corey Graves, Sami Zayn, Bray Wyatt, Yoshi Tatsu, Kassius Ohno, Bo Dallas, Adrian Neville, Mason Ryan, Sakamoto, Briley Pierce, Alexander Rusev, Curt Hawkins, Knuckles Nelson, Baron Corbin, Aiden English, Conor O'Brien, Dante Dash, Mojo Rawley
I think I've got everyone in this listed. Ryan throws out Sakamoto and Pierce with ease and sends out Curt Hawkins and Alexander Rusev for good measure. Ohno and Wyatt keep brawling as everyone goes after Ryan. He throws them all off and screams a lot as Corbin and Nelson are tossed out. Rawley and Tatsu are out as is Dash.
English goes after Ryan and is thrown out with Zayn being thrown on top of them. Ryan has eliminated every single person so far and we're barely two minutes into this. Mason loads up a powerbomb but Neville ranas him out to the floor. We're down to Neville, Ohno, Wyatt, Dallas, O'Brien and Graves as we take a break. Back with Wyatt squaring off with O'Brien and Bray being kicked through the ropes very quickly, meaning he's not eliminated.
Ohno knees Conor in the head and teams up with Graves to dump him out. Bray dumps Ohno and Graves at the same time, leaving us with three guys. Wyatt pounds on both guys in opposite corners and hits Sister Abigail on Dallas. Neville comes back with an enziguri and knocks Wyatt out before low bridging Dallas but the feet don't touch.
Dallas sends Neville over the top but only one foot touches. Both guys get back in but Neville is backdropped to the apron. Dallas charges into a kick to the head to knock him down, but the Red Arrow hits Dallas' knees. Neville is thrown out to give Dallas the win at 7:23 shown of 9:53.
Results
Wyatt Family b. Travis Tyler/Sawyer Fulton Discus Lariat to Fulton
Emma b. Audrey Marie Emma Lock
Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan b. Brandon Traven/Jake Carter Ax handle to Traven
Big E. Langston b. Derrick Bateman Big Ending
Bo Dallas won a battle royal, last eliminating Adrian Neville
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 30, 2013
Location: USF SunDome, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
We're finally at the go home show for Slammiversary but there are actually a few things to get through tonight. We have a six man tag between Sting and Joseph Park partners vs. Aces and 8's, as well as finding out which big free agent TNA has signed. The problem with that is Dixie Carter has called many people a big signing over the years so it's hard to take her at her word anymore. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's show with Bully saying he still loves Brooke and Styles still being neutral.
Bully is with Aces and 8's, saying tonight is about AJ Styles. Ray leaves and Anderson lays out D'Lo Brown for not being angry enough I guess.
Here are the former Dudley Boys to open things up. On Sunday it's Sting vs. Ray and Joseph Park vs. D-Von for the respective titles. Sting wanted no holds barred and that's exactly what he got. Ray talks about the legends that Sting has beaten, such as Flair, Hogan and Angle. Oh and Sting beat Jeff Hardy but Ray has too. The difference is Ray took Hardy out of action like he'll do to Sting at Slammiversary. However, Ray wants the tag match NOW.
Bully Ray/D-Von vs. Joseph Park/Sting
It's a big brawl to start with Sting ramming D-Von into whatever metal objects he can find. The brawling on the floor continues for about two minutes with nothing of note happening. Ray rams Joseph's hand into the steps before climbing into the ring. Sting looks up at him and the in ring part of the match finally begins. They throw a few punches and it's a double clothesline to put both guys down as we go to a break.
Back with D-Von working over Park until Joseph gets in a shot and goes up. Ray crotches him to stop any momentum before coming in and dropping an elbow for two. Off to D-Von for some Hogan posing as Park lays on the mat. Back to D-Von for a jumping back elbow before Ray comes in for a pretty awesome looking dropkick. Park finally gets over for a tag and Sting starts cleaning house.
Sting loads up the Scorpion on D-Von and Park tries one on Ray, only to be kicked into Sting to break the hold. Sting takes both guys down clotheslines but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. The reverse 3D takes Sting down and the bikers load up What's Up, but Abyss' music hits. The distraction lets Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop on D-Von for the pin at 13:28.
Kurt Angle will be watching AJ's match very carefully.
Dixie Carter comes out to say that we'll induct a new member into the Hall of Fame on Sunday. The fans will all be cheering for Sting in the title match....but here are Aces and 8's to disagree. Garrett says that Sunday is going to be more like a funeral but here are Joe and Magnus for the save. Joe doesn't know who gave Garrett a chance to speak, but instead of talking let's fight right now.
Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff
Joe pounds away and hits the corner enziguri as we go to a break. Back with Joe being tripped up by Doc, drawing in Magnus for the save.....and the DQ when Garrett goes to the floor to beat him down. The bell rang at about 5:40 but about four minutes of that was in a commercial.
Post match Joe says that it's a six man on Sunday with Jeff Hardy making his return.
Storm says he picked Gunner because he's a beast who has killed people for our country.
Hulk yells at Brooke about being suckered in by what Bully said. Hulk: When he looks at you like that, it's permission to rape your life. Apparently Hogan is betting everything he has on Sting on Sunday, pretty much guaranteeing Sting loses.
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner/Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez
Gunner and Daniels start things off with Gunner running him over with a back elbow. A backdrop puts Daniels on the floor where Kaz has a quick consultation. Back in and it's off to Aries who is rather tentative to face Gunner. He's so worried about it that he tags in Bobby before making any contact. All of Roode's partners are on the floor so he has to do this on his own, which include charging into a boot to the face before it's off to Chavo.
Hernandez gets the tag maybe ten seconds later to hit a splash before bringing Chavo right back in. Chavo hits Three Amigos but is sent to the floor very quickly to give the heels their first control. Aries comes in with a slingshot splash to Chavo before it's off to Kaz for a chinlock. Daniels misses a splash in the corner though, allowing for the hot tag to Hernandez.
All of the heel team tries their luck with SuperMex but he runs them all down, only to have Kaz break up the Border Toss. Aries hits a sweet running dropkick in the corner to slow Hernandez down but Austin is suplexed down to counter the brainbuster. Gunner tags himself in and no sells a discus lariat before putting Aries in the Torture Rack for the submission from Aries at 9:30.
AJ Styles arrives, causing Bully to go into a massive speech to the Aces. He has a job for Knux and declares war on Impact Wrestling. If there aren't victims, any member of the team could end up like D'Lo.
Bound For Glory is in San Diego.
Here's Mickie James to celebrate her title win. She brags about winning and thanks her fans for standing by her, but there are some people doubting the way she won the title. Mickie calls out Velvet to clear the air because they're friends. Mickie talks about how tough Velvet is and how much she loves her for giving Mickie the shot when she wasn't 100%. Velvet wants her rematch which Mickie is cool with, but Velvet wants the match at Slammiversary. Mickie says no because there's already a Knockouts match at Slammiversary.
This brings out Gail to yell at Mickie, claiming that Mickie wouldn't have won the title without Gail hurting Velvet's knee weeks ago. Gail has been hurting anyone in her path lately because of how frustrated she's been. She says she gets the first shot but Velvet gets in her face and says no. Gail goes after the bad leg but Taryn makes the save as Mickie stands around.
Kenny King/Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell/Chris Sabin
Taryn goes nuts on Gail to start and hits a quick neckbreaker to take her down. A high cross body takes Gail down for two before it's off to the guys. Sabin takes King down and cranks on the arm, only to be clotheslined in the back of the head to give the X Champion (King) control. King misses a slingshot legdrop and gets caught in a spinning DDT for two but everything breaks down. Taryn spears Gail down and Sabin hits whatever his driver is called for the pin on King at 5:00.
Post match Sabin says he'll win on Sunday but King lays him out. Suicide comes in to clear out both guys and hold up the belt.
Sting talks about all of his title wins over the years.
We run down the Slammiversary card.
Mr. Anderson vs. AJ Styles
Anderson jumps AJ as he comes into the ring but AJ fires off some right hands to come back. Mr. runs him over but gets tripped down and hit with a quick suplex for one. AJ snaps Anderson's neck on the top rope but keeps looking around for the bikers to run in. Anderson is sent to the floor for a baseball slide as we take a break. Back with AJ not being able to suplex Anderson back in so we head to the floor with AJ being sent into various objects.
Back in and Anderson takes it to the mat with a body scissors and arm lock. AJ fights up and takes Anderson down to shift momentum again. A knee drop gets two but Anderson comes back with the fireman's carry roll for two. AJ loads up a superplex in the corner but here's Kurt Angle for the DQ at 13:58.
Post match here are the bikers and all of their opponents on Sunday other than Jeff Hardy. Everyone but Sting and Ray clear out and the champ is put in the Scorpion, only to have D-Von make the save and hit 3D on Sting to end the show.
Results
Sting/Joseph Park b. D-Von/Bully Ray Scorpion Death Drop to D-Von
Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a no contest
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez/Gunner/James Storm b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode/Austin Aries Torture Rack to Aries
AJ Styles b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Kurt Angle interfered
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 2013
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
The main story tonight is what happened last week with HHH collapsing. Tonight we're likely to get an update on his condition, meaning we're likely to hear from Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel about what they did to him. There's also a good chance that Cena will be back from the beating he received at Ryback's hands. Let's get to it.
We open with the traditional moment of remembrance due to Memorial Day which is always classy.
Recap of the end of the show from last week and Ryback's challenge to Cena.
Here's Cena to open the show. He talks about the ending to the last man standing match being controversial and about how Ryback called him out for an ambulance match. After stopping for a WE WANT BRET chant, Cena makes the counteroffer of a 3 Stages of Hell match, with stipulations of a lumberjack match, a tables match, and then the ambulance match. Cue Ryback who calls himself Beelzebub because of where he tried to take Cena. I'm assuming that means the match is on.
After Ryback leaves, here's Heyman to introduce Cena to Curtis Axel. He talks about how Axel beat HHH last week and proposes Cena vs. Axel for later tonight. Cena says that Axel has guts but says he needs to stay away from Heyman. Axel isn't impressed and wants a fight, so Cena says it's on.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston
Langston pounds Del Rio into the corner but gets caught by a quick dropkick. Del Rio low bridges him to the floor and hits a suicide dive as Cole runs through the list of networks that carry the show in different countries. Big E. drops Alberto face first on the steps for two back in the ring as Cole is now plugging the WWE App and we get a quick partial interview from Ziggler on him wanting to come back.
A backbreaker puts Del Rio down but he avoids a charge into the corner, sending Langston into the post. There's the Backstabber and a hard kick to Langston's head for two but the armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly. Langston pulls the strap down but AJ gets on the apron and takes off a turnbuckle pad. The armbreaker goes on but Langston lifts him up into the air to counter. Del Rio gets to his feet and shoves Langston chest first into the exposed buckle, allowing him to get a rollup for the pin at 4:18.
Post match Langston is upset at AJ and walks away from her.
Kane and Bryan are in the back with Bryan pacing back and forth. Bryan is muttering about the weak link until Kane yells at him, saying that only Bryan thinks he's the weak link. If they want to beat Shield tonight, Bryan needs to pull himself together. Bryan interprets this as Kane calling him the weak link.
They get into the yes/no argument but stop because Bret Hart is here. Bret calls them one of the best combinations he's ever seen, so Bryan asks Bret if anyone ever saw him as the weak link in the Hart Foundation. Hart says not really and leaves. Kane wants to know why that means something from Bret and not him. Bryan says because he's Bret Hart and you're Kane. I love how simple that is.
US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose
This is another rematch because of Shield interfering in the one on Smackdown. Kofi starts with a quick armbar but gets pounded in the corner by the champion. Ambrose ducks a quick Trouble in Paradise attempt and bails to the floor as we take a break after less than two minutes of action and less than three minutes after the end of the last commercial.
Back with Ambrose getting two off an elbow drop but Kofi fires off some elbows of his own to recover. A cross body out of the corner gets two but Dean rolls away from the Boom Drop. They trade near falls in a string of rollups before the SOS gets two for Kofi. Orton and Sheamus are watching the match on the WWE App as Kofi gets two off a springboard clothesline. Ambrose trips Kofi up and sends him off the apron into the steps, allowing the bulldog driver to end him clean at 8:23.
Post match Shield celebrates until HELL NO come out to start the tag title match after the break.
Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins
This is joined in progress after the break with Bryan being double teamed. Rollins stays in and gets caught in the ribs by a running knee before Bryan fires off kicks in the corner. Kane tags himself in and Bryan isn't pleased. A slam gets two for Kane and there's a Hart Attack by the challengers (not that the announcers make note of it or anything). Back to Bryan who fires in elbows to the jaw before dragging Seth into the corner for a tag to Kane.
The big man loads up a chokeslam but Rollins counters with a LOUD enziguri. Off to Reigns who pounds Kane down while showing no problems with his ankle from Smackdown. Roman hooks a chinlock on Kane to slow things down a bit before getting two off a slam. It's back to Seth to stomp away at the ribs and put on a chinlock of his own. Oh wait: WE GET SOMETHING ELSE FROM THE APP! This time it's the Prime Time Players watching the match. Why would I want to get that thing if that's what I'm going to get?
Anyway Kane fights back and clotheslines Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Bryan. He cleans house on the Shield, hitting a wicked German and a running dropkick to Rollins for two. Here are the rapid fire kicks to the chest and one to the head for two more. Seth loads up a superplex but Bryan slips underneath him and puts Rollins in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the chest. Bryan belly to back superplexes him down as we take a break.
Back with Rollins working over Bryan and putting him in a surfboard, only for Bryan to counter. Reigns gets the tag before Bryan can do anything else though and the beating continues. Roman gets two off a shoulder and it's back to Rollins for the downward spiral into the buckle while calling Bryan the weak link. Back to Reigns who gets caught by a running kick to the face, allowing for the hot tag to Kane.
The big man cleans house as he is known to do, getting two off the side slam to Rollins. Reigns makes the save but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. The referee tells Bryan to quit beating on Reigns on the floor but he dives off the apron into a spinebuster anyway. Rollins uses the distraction to hit the springboard knee to the head of Kane for the pin at 18:40.
We recap the opening segment.
We recap the end of last week's show and get some post show stuff with HHH saying he doesn't remember any of the matc.
Apparently the injury took place from the sledgehammer shot to the head from Brock, meaning that Axel's offense had no extra damage. HHH could be back next week.
You can vote as to whether Miz should be guest commentator, ring announcer or referee for Wade Barrett vs. Fandango.
After the break, Miz is going to be guest referee by a huge margin. I'm as shocked as you are.
Wade Barrett vs. Fandango
Fandango hits a quick chop to take over and pounds the champion (this is non-title) into the corner. An elbow to the jaw gets two but Barrett pounds away to put Fandango down for two. Barrett hits the boot to Fandango in the ropes, only to have Miz lay out Wade with the Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango gets the pin at 2:43.
Post match Miz kicks Fandango in the head as he and Summer are dancing, knocking Summer on top of him. Miz counts three because he can.
Shawn Michaels pops in to see Cena and says Cena is crazy. Cena thinks he's doing what Shawn would do and leaves.
Tons of Funk/Great Khali vs. 3MB
This is over a destroyed birthday cake apparently. Khali destroys McIntyre with chops to start before it's off to Tensai for his cannonball attack in the corner. The rest of the Band interrupts to take over but it's quickly back to Brodus. A splash in the corner and a powerslam get two on Slater as everything breaks down. The splash finishes Slater at 2:53.
Apparently it's Natalya's birthday so Khali sings Happy Birthday to her.
Video on Cena's patriotic stuff to celebrate Memorial Day.
Time for the Highlight Reel with guest Paul Heyman. After sucking up to Calgary, Jericho brings out Heyman for some insults as only Jericho can do. He talks about Heyman developing talent which Heyman agrees with, such as Chris Jericho. It was Heyman who gave Jericho his first break which Jericho agrees with. Yeah and you still owe me money. Heyman says he's going to do the same thing with Curtis Axel tonight as Axel beats Cena later in the show.
Jericho would rather talk about Heyman's other client and Heyman goes into his schtick about Lesnar. Instead, Jericho wants to talk about CM Punk, who has been gone for a month and a half. We get a clip of Punk walking out back in April and the fans chant for Mr. CM. Jericho talks about Heyman having the same suit and look on his face in both the clip and right now. Apparently Heyman was surprised to see Punk leave, but Heyman says he's wearing the suit out of respect for Jericho.
That's not enough for Jericho but Heyman doesn't know what Chris wants. Heyman goes into his usual schtick about Punk's accomplishments but Jericho cuts him off and asks where Punk is. Heyman says a statement is coming soon but that's also not good enough for Jericho. Jericho says that Punk can't be called the best in the world after being gone this long, but wonders if Punk will be at Payback in Chicago. Chris thinks he's the best in the world which ticks Heyman off. The challenge is issued by Jericho but Heyman laughs at him. After more goading from Jericho and the fans, Heyman accepts for Punk and that's that.
Bella Twins vs. Kaitlyn/Natalya
We'll say Nikki starts with Kaitlyn and a lot of choking ensues. Off to a chinlock for good measure until Kaitlyn fights up and makes the tag off to Natalya. Sharpshooter goes on for like 30 seconds but there's no tap out. Instead Brie comes in and breaks it up, only to be speared down. Kaitlyn spears Natalya by mistake, giving Nikki the pin at 3:45.
The Bellas sing Happy Birthday to Natalya.
Bret comes in to see Axel and advises him to dump Heyman. Axel says no one gave him the time of day before last week but Heyman finally did. He's completely right but we're supposed to be offended I guess.
Bray Wyatt video. He and his Family are coming soon. For those of you NXT fans, you know why this is awesome.
Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars
Orton and Rhodes start things off with Randy running him over. Off to Sheamus with the slingshot shoulder for two before Sandow and Orton come in again. Damien pounds him down in the corner and brings Rhodes back in, only to have him caught in a suplex. Back to Sheamus who is stomped down in the corner before coming back with a neckbreaker for two. Sheamus goes up but gets slammed down by Sandow as we take a break.
Back with Sandow choking on Sheamus before it's back to Rhodes for a body scissors. Back up and there's the Irish Curse, allowing for the tag off to Orton. Both Scholars walk into powerslams and there's the Elevated DDT to Sandow. We head to the floor with Rhodes and Orton colliding before Sandow throws Orton in for two. Cody hits the front suplex before it's back to Damien with the Wind-Up Elbow for two.
Back to Cody who walks into the t-bone suplex, allowing for the tag to Sheamus. House is cleaned and there are ten forearms to Damien. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Sheamus for two, only to have Sheamus escape the Terminus and hit White Noise. Brogue Kick and we're done at 15:40.
Curtis Axel vs. John Cena
Cena hits a quick hiptoss and we're already at a break. Back with Axel in control on the floor before heading back in for more pounding. A snap suplex gets two as the fans are looking at something in the audience. Axel wisely goes to an armbar until the fans are paying attention again. Back up and Axel clotheslines him in the back of the head for two as the fans are paying attention again. Cena fights up and hits the shoulders and ProtoBomb.
The Shuffle connects but Axel pops out of the AA and hits a dropkick for two. A middle rope ax handle connects but the second one misses, allowing Cena to hit a standing powerslam for two. Axel channels his Papa with a Hennig necksnap and a kick in the face for two. The PerfectPlex is escaped into an STF attempt but Axel escapes again. The AA is countered into a PerfectPlex for two but Axel misses a splash in the corner. Cue Ryback with the ambulance and Cena walks towards it, earning a countout at 11:54.
Ryback jumps Cena from behind because he isn't in the ambulance. He tries to ram Cena through the set like at the PPV but Cena escapes. The AA off the stage doesn't work either and Ryback bails. Important point: Axel is announced as the winner and poses with his music playing to end the show. Cena even applauds him as we go off the air.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. Langston Rollup
Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston Bulldog Driver
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO Springboard knee to the Head
Fandango b. Wade Barrett Skull Crushing Finale
Tons of Funk/Great Khali b. 3MB Splash to Slater
Bella Twins b. Kaitlyn/Natalya Spear to Kaitlyn
Curtis Axel b. John Cena via countout
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.86, up from last week.
Wednesday
WWE will be teaming with the Flintstones for a new animated movie in 2015.
Kofi Kingston will be out 4-8 weeks with an elbow injury.
NXT
Date: May 29, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Brad Maddox
Tonight we have some main event stuff to get to as it's time for the #1 contenders battle royal, with the winner getting a shot at Langston at some point in the future. Other than that it's hard to say what we'll get which is one of the most interesting parts of a show like NXT. Odds are everyone will be in the battle royal with some working other matches tonight. Let's get to it.
Welcome Home.
Wyatt Family vs. Travis Tyler/Sawyer Fulton
Non-title. There's something very wrong about the Family having Twitter handles. Sawyer and Harper get things going with Lke running over Fulton like one half of a monster tag team running over a jobber in a squash match. Off to Rowan who pounds away in the corner with a headbutt and a chop before it's back to Harper for more chops. Tom says that the tag is off to Fulton, making me think he has no idea which is which. Not that it really matters as Harper charges at Fulton in the corner and the discus lariat is good for the pin at 2:30.
Here's Stephanie McMahon (in a studio) for a big announcement. She says that there will be a tournament to crown the first NXT Divas Champion. The tournament starts next week.
Emma vs. Audrey Marie
I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm warming up to the dancing. Why this isn't a first round tournament match is beyond me but the more interesting part is the crowd going NUTS for Emma. She wants her music started again after the bell rings for more dancing but Audrey smacks her in the face. More dancing ensues but Emma gets two off a sunset flip. A bad looking gutwrench suplex gets two for Marie and they trade some backslides for two each. Emma even busts out a Tarantula, called the Dilemma. Emma hits a slingshot to set up a bridging Indian Deathlock (complete with dancing as she bends back) for the win at 2:52.
Scott Dawson and Garrett Dylan are in the back but their loud and annoying manager with a French accent. The manager isn't named but it might be that Enzo Amore guy from last week.
Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan vs. Brandon Traven/Jake Carter
Apparently the manager is named Sylvester LeFort. Dawson and Dylan look like Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. Apparently LeFort is an eccentric French investor who travels the world looking for interesting business opportunities. That's not one you hear everyday. Carter pounds away on Dawson in the corner to start but Scott sends him out to the floor to take over. A few knee drops get two before it's off to Dylan.
Garrett hooks a chinlock on Carter for a bit as Maddox describes Dawson as someone who likely doesn't flush. I'm not touching that one. Anyway Carter fights out and crawls between Dylan's legs for the tag to Traven who is almost immediately clotheslined down. Dawson hits a spinebuster followed by a middle rope ax handle to a laid out Traven for the pin at 4:04.
Big E. Langston vs. Derrick Bateman
Bateman has a haircut which makes him look even more bland if that's possible. Langston doesn't have the I'm A Soldier part at the beginning of his music now. Bateman jumps Big E. to start but gets shoved down and thrown into the air to put him back down. Langston runs him over and the Big Ending ends Derrick at 58 seconds.
Another Big Ending sets up the five count post match.
The Raw ReBound is about the main event between Cena and Axel.
Next week it's Ohno/Graves vs. the Wyatt Family.
Langston is on commentary for the battle royal. This should be awesome.
Battle Royal
Corey Graves, Sami Zayn, Bray Wyatt, Yoshi Tatsu, Kassius Ohno, Bo Dallas, Adrian Neville, Mason Ryan, Sakamoto, Briley Pierce, Alexander Rusev, Curt Hawkins, Knuckles Nelson, Baron Corbin, Aiden English, Conor O'Brien, Dante Dash, Mojo Rawley
I think I've got everyone in this listed. Ryan throws out Sakamoto and Pierce with ease and sends out Curt Hawkins and Alexander Rusev for good measure. Ohno and Wyatt keep brawling as everyone goes after Ryan. He throws them all off and screams a lot as Corbin and Nelson are tossed out. Rawley and Tatsu are out as is Dash.
English goes after Ryan and is thrown out with Zayn being thrown on top of them. Ryan has eliminated every single person so far and we're barely two minutes into this. Mason loads up a powerbomb but Neville ranas him out to the floor. We're down to Neville, Ohno, Wyatt, Dallas, O'Brien and Graves as we take a break. Back with Wyatt squaring off with O'Brien and Bray being kicked through the ropes very quickly, meaning he's not eliminated.
Ohno knees Conor in the head and teams up with Graves to dump him out. Bray dumps Ohno and Graves at the same time, leaving us with three guys. Wyatt pounds on both guys in opposite corners and hits Sister Abigail on Dallas. Neville comes back with an enziguri and knocks Wyatt out before low bridging Dallas but the feet don't touch.
Dallas sends Neville over the top but only one foot touches. Both guys get back in but Neville is backdropped to the apron. Dallas charges into a kick to the head to knock him down, but the Red Arrow hits Dallas' knees. Neville is thrown out to give Dallas the win at 7:23 shown of 9:53.
Results
Wyatt Family b. Travis Tyler/Sawyer Fulton Discus Lariat to Fulton
Emma b. Audrey Marie Emma Lock
Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan b. Brandon Traven/Jake Carter Ax handle to Traven
Big E. Langston b. Derrick Bateman Big Ending
Bo Dallas won a battle royal, last eliminating Adrian Neville
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 30, 2013
Location: USF SunDome, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
We're finally at the go home show for Slammiversary but there are actually a few things to get through tonight. We have a six man tag between Sting and Joseph Park partners vs. Aces and 8's, as well as finding out which big free agent TNA has signed. The problem with that is Dixie Carter has called many people a big signing over the years so it's hard to take her at her word anymore. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's show with Bully saying he still loves Brooke and Styles still being neutral.
Bully is with Aces and 8's, saying tonight is about AJ Styles. Ray leaves and Anderson lays out D'Lo Brown for not being angry enough I guess.
Here are the former Dudley Boys to open things up. On Sunday it's Sting vs. Ray and Joseph Park vs. D-Von for the respective titles. Sting wanted no holds barred and that's exactly what he got. Ray talks about the legends that Sting has beaten, such as Flair, Hogan and Angle. Oh and Sting beat Jeff Hardy but Ray has too. The difference is Ray took Hardy out of action like he'll do to Sting at Slammiversary. However, Ray wants the tag match NOW.
Bully Ray/D-Von vs. Joseph Park/Sting
It's a big brawl to start with Sting ramming D-Von into whatever metal objects he can find. The brawling on the floor continues for about two minutes with nothing of note happening. Ray rams Joseph's hand into the steps before climbing into the ring. Sting looks up at him and the in ring part of the match finally begins. They throw a few punches and it's a double clothesline to put both guys down as we go to a break.
Back with D-Von working over Park until Joseph gets in a shot and goes up. Ray crotches him to stop any momentum before coming in and dropping an elbow for two. Off to D-Von for some Hogan posing as Park lays on the mat. Back to D-Von for a jumping back elbow before Ray comes in for a pretty awesome looking dropkick. Park finally gets over for a tag and Sting starts cleaning house.
Sting loads up the Scorpion on D-Von and Park tries one on Ray, only to be kicked into Sting to break the hold. Sting takes both guys down clotheslines but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. The reverse 3D takes Sting down and the bikers load up What's Up, but Abyss' music hits. The distraction lets Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop on D-Von for the pin at 13:28.
Kurt Angle will be watching AJ's match very carefully.
Dixie Carter comes out to say that we'll induct a new member into the Hall of Fame on Sunday. The fans will all be cheering for Sting in the title match....but here are Aces and 8's to disagree. Garrett says that Sunday is going to be more like a funeral but here are Joe and Magnus for the save. Joe doesn't know who gave Garrett a chance to speak, but instead of talking let's fight right now.
Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff
Joe pounds away and hits the corner enziguri as we go to a break. Back with Joe being tripped up by Doc, drawing in Magnus for the save.....and the DQ when Garrett goes to the floor to beat him down. The bell rang at about 5:40 but about four minutes of that was in a commercial.
Post match Joe says that it's a six man on Sunday with Jeff Hardy making his return.
Storm says he picked Gunner because he's a beast who has killed people for our country.
Hulk yells at Brooke about being suckered in by what Bully said. Hulk: When he looks at you like that, it's permission to rape your life. Apparently Hogan is betting everything he has on Sting on Sunday, pretty much guaranteeing Sting loses.
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner/Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez
Gunner and Daniels start things off with Gunner running him over with a back elbow. A backdrop puts Daniels on the floor where Kaz has a quick consultation. Back in and it's off to Aries who is rather tentative to face Gunner. He's so worried about it that he tags in Bobby before making any contact. All of Roode's partners are on the floor so he has to do this on his own, which include charging into a boot to the face before it's off to Chavo.
Hernandez gets the tag maybe ten seconds later to hit a splash before bringing Chavo right back in. Chavo hits Three Amigos but is sent to the floor very quickly to give the heels their first control. Aries comes in with a slingshot splash to Chavo before it's off to Kaz for a chinlock. Daniels misses a splash in the corner though, allowing for the hot tag to Hernandez.
All of the heel team tries their luck with SuperMex but he runs them all down, only to have Kaz break up the Border Toss. Aries hits a sweet running dropkick in the corner to slow Hernandez down but Austin is suplexed down to counter the brainbuster. Gunner tags himself in and no sells a discus lariat before putting Aries in the Torture Rack for the submission from Aries at 9:30.
AJ Styles arrives, causing Bully to go into a massive speech to the Aces. He has a job for Knux and declares war on Impact Wrestling. If there aren't victims, any member of the team could end up like D'Lo.
Bound For Glory is in San Diego.
Here's Mickie James to celebrate her title win. She brags about winning and thanks her fans for standing by her, but there are some people doubting the way she won the title. Mickie calls out Velvet to clear the air because they're friends. Mickie talks about how tough Velvet is and how much she loves her for giving Mickie the shot when she wasn't 100%. Velvet wants her rematch which Mickie is cool with, but Velvet wants the match at Slammiversary. Mickie says no because there's already a Knockouts match at Slammiversary.
This brings out Gail to yell at Mickie, claiming that Mickie wouldn't have won the title without Gail hurting Velvet's knee weeks ago. Gail has been hurting anyone in her path lately because of how frustrated she's been. She says she gets the first shot but Velvet gets in her face and says no. Gail goes after the bad leg but Taryn makes the save as Mickie stands around.
Kenny King/Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell/Chris Sabin
Taryn goes nuts on Gail to start and hits a quick neckbreaker to take her down. A high cross body takes Gail down for two before it's off to the guys. Sabin takes King down and cranks on the arm, only to be clotheslined in the back of the head to give the X Champion (King) control. King misses a slingshot legdrop and gets caught in a spinning DDT for two but everything breaks down. Taryn spears Gail down and Sabin hits whatever his driver is called for the pin on King at 5:00.
Post match Sabin says he'll win on Sunday but King lays him out. Suicide comes in to clear out both guys and hold up the belt.
Sting talks about all of his title wins over the years.
We run down the Slammiversary card.
Mr. Anderson vs. AJ Styles
Anderson jumps AJ as he comes into the ring but AJ fires off some right hands to come back. Mr. runs him over but gets tripped down and hit with a quick suplex for one. AJ snaps Anderson's neck on the top rope but keeps looking around for the bikers to run in. Anderson is sent to the floor for a baseball slide as we take a break. Back with AJ not being able to suplex Anderson back in so we head to the floor with AJ being sent into various objects.
Back in and Anderson takes it to the mat with a body scissors and arm lock. AJ fights up and takes Anderson down to shift momentum again. A knee drop gets two but Anderson comes back with the fireman's carry roll for two. AJ loads up a superplex in the corner but here's Kurt Angle for the DQ at 13:58.
Post match here are the bikers and all of their opponents on Sunday other than Jeff Hardy. Everyone but Sting and Ray clear out and the champ is put in the Scorpion, only to have D-Von make the save and hit 3D on Sting to end the show.
Results
Sting/Joseph Park b. D-Von/Bully Ray Scorpion Death Drop to D-Von
Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a no contest
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez/Gunner/James Storm b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode/Austin Aries Torture Rack to Aries
AJ Styles b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Kurt Angle interfered