klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
There has been a warrant issued for Ric Flairs arrest over something about him not signing autographs as an agreement called for. Dude, seriously?
Impact got a 1.2.
Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2011
Location: Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
Were past Over the Limit now and it should be interesting to see where this goes. After the rather awesome Christian vs. Orton match its possible they could go for a third match there but at the same time Orton has won twice clean so maybe itll be time for someone else to step in. Other than that though Im really not sure what to expect as we gear up for Capitol Punishment. Lets get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? TNAs seems to be wrestling.
Heres the champ to open the show. He says hes Randy Orton and he is still world heavyweight champion. And thats all he can get out because heres Christian. He doesnt want to spoil Ortons moment but Sunday was a great match so thanks and congratulations. Thats what fruit baskets were invented for Christian. The match could have gone either way but Christian knows he can beat him. He wants to issue a challenge for one more match for the title.
Before we get an answer heres Sheamus. He wants to know how much Christian needs because hes acting like an obsessive gambler. Christian is going to have to wait another seventeen years because on Sunday he became a two time loser. Sheamus however is a two time champion and hes here to face guys like Orton for the title. If anyone is becoming #1 contender, its him.
Cue Mark Henry because someone up there hates me. Christian needs to join Edge on the retirement golf course and Sheamus needs to stop butting in. As for Orton, Henry says he (Henry) has just butted his way to the front of the line for that championship. Teddy comes out and asks the fans what they want to see. They cheer the idea of Christian vs. Orton 3 but Teddy makes a triple threat for the #1 contender spot.
Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
The lights change again and its lost its luster I think. Cole talks about Cara being ungrateful to Chavo and the other announcers blast him. Chavo gets sent to the floor so Cara teases a dive. Back in a double knee to the chest of Cara takes him down and a belly to back gets two. Off to a key lock but an attempt at a Gory Special is blocked. Cara sends him to the floor and hits a big old dive to take over again.
Springboard rana back in the ring by Cara and he adds a high angle reverse elbow off the middle rope as we speed things up. Booker talked to Cara apparently and Cara is a big fan. Top rope cross body gets two as Cole gets all sarcastic again. The crowd thinks Chavo sucks as he avoids the Tajiri elbow.
Now we get to see what Cara was trying to get on Sunday as he comes around like a crucifix into a headscissors and then back around to Chavos shoulder. Then he slams Chavo down almost into the position for a Crossface but it slams Chavos head into the mat for a pin at 4:46. Not liking that one but its not bad I guess.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan
This is why I love the midcard stuff: there are so many combinations you can throw out there just like this one. No Ted here. Cody says if he didnt know better hed be convinced theres no God because everywhere he goes he prays that hell see an attractive face but every time hes disappointed. He does the bagging thing and gets in a good line of Shut up and bag yourselves! Bryans music cuts him off.
This is near Bryans hometown so he gets the big pop. Bryan speeds things up to start us off and Cody actually tries some technical stuff with him. Bryan is like dude just no and takes out the knees. They trade hip toss attempts and Cody finally takes over, tossing Bryan to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan making a comeback but getting caught with a kick between the legs to the stomach ala Hardcore Holly.
Cody throws on a Crossface Chickenwing (what is up with people using that move anymore) and calls a spot to Bryan. He takes the hold to the mat in a full version and rams the mask into the back of Bryans head. Bryan escapes and makes his comeback with strikes as Booker says this would be a breakout win for Bryan. Even Cole corrects him so you can tell Booker screwed up there.
Bryan gets a missile dropkick for a long two. Cody sends him into the middle buckle for two. Bryan grabs a rollup for two. This is moving as fast as it sounds. In a SWEET spot, Bryan does his backflip out of the corner but Cody runs underneath him and hits his rope walking spin kick to take Bryan down. Cross Rhodes is countered into the LeBell Lock (which Bryan put on a bit differently it seemed, twisting Codys forearm around too) for the tap out at 6:04 shown of 9:34.
Post match Cody beats up Bryan, hitting Cross Rhodes and giving him a paper bag.
Heres the Obama press conference thing again. It wasnt funny the first time and its stupid by this point.
Heath Slater vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Booker goes WAY old school by mentioning the One Man Gang and Devastation Inc, saying Jackson is both. Hes Inc? As in I can buy stock in him? Slater tries to use speed and that doesnt work well in the slightest. Jackson keeps throwing Slater around so Slater keeps charging at him. Well he is from West Virginia. Here come the slams and after only two of them theres the Rack. And theres Corre for the DQ at 2:37. Id assume this will lead to a gimmick match of some kind ..gauntlet maybe? Jackson fights them off this time. Somehow they work bullying into this. Im so fed up with that Im out of jokes for it.
Christian says he was the last one picked for kickball but at the end of the game hed kick more home runs that anyone. Apparently he was a Canadian Kickball Champion four times in a row. He was the last one of his friends to hit puberty but when he hit prom he had the prettiest girlfriend in the school. He was also the last person anyone thought would reach the top of WWE but he did it, and hes going to do it again. Id have put that on someone like Shawn Stasiak but ok.
Great Khali vs. Kane
Before the match we get a recap of Jinder Mahal smacking Khali last week and making him all evil again. Singh is here again this week. This is billed as the Monsters Brawl. Khali overpowers him to start, taking him into the corner. He chokes away, kind of wrestling heel here. Off to the nerve hold as I guess 1:40 of action was too much for Khali. Thats getting into Dusty territory there. Big chop misses and they both grab for chokeslams. Khali sends him to the floor but Kane guillotines him on the top rope and the flying clothesline ends this at 2:33. No rating but this was pretty bad, even for a battle of the giants.
Mahal comes out again, this time with music that is similar to Khalis original song. He yells at Khali more and smacks him before going after Singh. Khali defends his brother but then puts the vice grip on Singh. Khali is a bully now. For the love of all things good and holy, FIND SOMETHING NEW TO MAKE PEOPLE HEELS!
We get a clip from Raw of Show being injured. Apparently hes going to need several weeks of rehab.
Booker is in the ring, complete with some theme music. He wants Cole to get into the ring which Cole begrudgingly does. Booker wants to talk about the Kiss My Foot match and we get a clip of the toe being in his mouth. Booker says he was just playing and puts his arm around an annoyed Cole. He starts a Kiss My Feet chant and thats it for this segment. Uh yeah because this warranted TV time.
Sheamus doesnt want to answer Strikers questions but says hes tired of hearing about Christian winning the title and Henry has won a total of nothing since hes been here. Sheamus won his first world title in a few months, which is very true.
After a clip of Kharmas breakdown on Raw, its time for a tag match.
Alicia Fox/Tamina vs. AJ/Kaitlyn
AJ!!! Seriously, that girl is too cute for words. Natalya is with the NXT chicks. We get an inset clip of them talking as Kaitlyn doesnt like Tamina/Alicia because there are too many As in their names. AJ vs. Alicia to start us off and that doesnt last long as its off to Kaitlyn. Shes downright passable in the ring now which is a miracle by comparison. Kaitlyn gets a side slam for two and everything breaks down. Never mind though as Alicia gets the axe kick to Kaitlyn and were done at 1:37. That was the only major move the heels hit the entire time.
Henry says hell win and hes NOT boring or irrelevant.
Macho Man tribute video. Thats the only one that has ever gotten to me.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry vs. Christian
Winner gets Orton next week apparently and not at Capitol Punishment. Booker picks Sheamus. Everyone goes at it at once to start but the monsters take Christian down quickly. Cole is being a jerk again here and picks Sheamus also. The double teaming continues but Christian slides to the floor. Sheamus goes after him but is sent into the steps. Ill give him this: Sheamus isnt a cowardly heel. Thats a big plus for him.
Henry takes over on Christian with his basic variety of move, standing on his chest. The referee can be heard saying he cant break it because there are no rules and therefore no counting. Sheamus pops back in and rolls up Christian for two as Henry is knocked down to the floor. Sheamus sets for the Brogue Kick but Christian hits the Killswitch out of nowhere, only for Henry to make the save.
Here comes Orton after about three and a half minutes and we take a break. Back with Henry pounding on Christian. Josh makes an interesting comment that this is Henry and Christian against Sheamus. Bear hug to the Canadian but Sheamus comes back in. The monsters go at it until Henry grabs a belly to belly and heaves Sheamus back out to the floor. Cool looking move.
Christian is taken down by Henry just ramming into him which gets two. Christian avoids a drop down and hits a pair of middle rope dropkicks to take the big fat tub of goo down. Sheamus pops up to take Christian down off the top and then hammers on Sheamus. Hes an equal opportunity heel I guess. Christian and Sheamus hammer away at each other on the top and down goes the pale one, but Christian jumps into a Worlds Strongest Slam for two.
Booker says were like 18 minutes into this. By my math its more like 12 but when has wrestling ever had adequate watches? Henry is sent to the floor and the High Cross (name changed again) is countered into a pendulum kick. Tornado DDT gets two. Henry takes out Orton for no apparent reason but gets sent into Sheamus by Christian. Spear takes down Sheamus but Orton comes in for an RKO to Henry. The distraction lets Sheamus kick out and Christian yells at the referee just long enough to let Sheamus kick his head off for the pin at 11:38 shown of 15:08.
Results
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors into a mat slam
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes LeBell Lock
Ezekiel Jackson b. Heath Slater via DQ when Corre interfered
Kane b. Great Khali Top rope clothesline
Alicia Fox/Tamina b. AJ/Kaitlyn Axe kick to Kaitlyn
Sheamus b. Christian and Mark Henry Brogue Kick to Christian
Saturday
Nothing today.
Sunday
WWE has signed a luchador named Averno, apparently to feud with Sin Cara.
Quick Results
Raw
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show Double DDT to Big Show
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne Gutwrench Powerbomb
Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torries/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim went to a no contest when Kharma interfered
Kofi Kingston b. Drew McIntyre SOS
John Cena/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/R-Truth Springboard legdrop to Punk
NXT
Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton/Yoshi Tatsu Sharpshooter to Saxton
Conor OBrian b. JTG Small Package
Titus ONeil b. Darren Young Pin after a Tadpole Splash
Impact
Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles b. Bully Ray/Tommy Dreamer Spike Piledriver to Dreamer
Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Morgan Pin after a Downward Spiral from Scott Steiner
Mickie James b. Winter Jumping DDT
Abyss b. Brian Kendrick Black Hole Slam
Eric Young b. Gunner Small Package
Kurt Angle b. Rob Van Dam Angle Slam
Smackdown
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors into a mat slam
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes LeBell Lock
Ezekiel Jackson b. Heath Slater via DQ when Corre interfered
Kane b. Great Khali Top rope clothesline
Alicia Fox/Tamina b. AJ/Kaitlyn Axe kick to Kaitlyn
Sheamus b. Christian and Mark Henry Brogue Kick to Christian
There has been a warrant issued for Ric Flairs arrest over something about him not signing autographs as an agreement called for. Dude, seriously?
Impact got a 1.2.
Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2011
Location: Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
Were past Over the Limit now and it should be interesting to see where this goes. After the rather awesome Christian vs. Orton match its possible they could go for a third match there but at the same time Orton has won twice clean so maybe itll be time for someone else to step in. Other than that though Im really not sure what to expect as we gear up for Capitol Punishment. Lets get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? TNAs seems to be wrestling.
Heres the champ to open the show. He says hes Randy Orton and he is still world heavyweight champion. And thats all he can get out because heres Christian. He doesnt want to spoil Ortons moment but Sunday was a great match so thanks and congratulations. Thats what fruit baskets were invented for Christian. The match could have gone either way but Christian knows he can beat him. He wants to issue a challenge for one more match for the title.
Before we get an answer heres Sheamus. He wants to know how much Christian needs because hes acting like an obsessive gambler. Christian is going to have to wait another seventeen years because on Sunday he became a two time loser. Sheamus however is a two time champion and hes here to face guys like Orton for the title. If anyone is becoming #1 contender, its him.
Cue Mark Henry because someone up there hates me. Christian needs to join Edge on the retirement golf course and Sheamus needs to stop butting in. As for Orton, Henry says he (Henry) has just butted his way to the front of the line for that championship. Teddy comes out and asks the fans what they want to see. They cheer the idea of Christian vs. Orton 3 but Teddy makes a triple threat for the #1 contender spot.
Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
The lights change again and its lost its luster I think. Cole talks about Cara being ungrateful to Chavo and the other announcers blast him. Chavo gets sent to the floor so Cara teases a dive. Back in a double knee to the chest of Cara takes him down and a belly to back gets two. Off to a key lock but an attempt at a Gory Special is blocked. Cara sends him to the floor and hits a big old dive to take over again.
Springboard rana back in the ring by Cara and he adds a high angle reverse elbow off the middle rope as we speed things up. Booker talked to Cara apparently and Cara is a big fan. Top rope cross body gets two as Cole gets all sarcastic again. The crowd thinks Chavo sucks as he avoids the Tajiri elbow.
Now we get to see what Cara was trying to get on Sunday as he comes around like a crucifix into a headscissors and then back around to Chavos shoulder. Then he slams Chavo down almost into the position for a Crossface but it slams Chavos head into the mat for a pin at 4:46. Not liking that one but its not bad I guess.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan
This is why I love the midcard stuff: there are so many combinations you can throw out there just like this one. No Ted here. Cody says if he didnt know better hed be convinced theres no God because everywhere he goes he prays that hell see an attractive face but every time hes disappointed. He does the bagging thing and gets in a good line of Shut up and bag yourselves! Bryans music cuts him off.
This is near Bryans hometown so he gets the big pop. Bryan speeds things up to start us off and Cody actually tries some technical stuff with him. Bryan is like dude just no and takes out the knees. They trade hip toss attempts and Cody finally takes over, tossing Bryan to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan making a comeback but getting caught with a kick between the legs to the stomach ala Hardcore Holly.
Cody throws on a Crossface Chickenwing (what is up with people using that move anymore) and calls a spot to Bryan. He takes the hold to the mat in a full version and rams the mask into the back of Bryans head. Bryan escapes and makes his comeback with strikes as Booker says this would be a breakout win for Bryan. Even Cole corrects him so you can tell Booker screwed up there.
Bryan gets a missile dropkick for a long two. Cody sends him into the middle buckle for two. Bryan grabs a rollup for two. This is moving as fast as it sounds. In a SWEET spot, Bryan does his backflip out of the corner but Cody runs underneath him and hits his rope walking spin kick to take Bryan down. Cross Rhodes is countered into the LeBell Lock (which Bryan put on a bit differently it seemed, twisting Codys forearm around too) for the tap out at 6:04 shown of 9:34.
Post match Cody beats up Bryan, hitting Cross Rhodes and giving him a paper bag.
Heres the Obama press conference thing again. It wasnt funny the first time and its stupid by this point.
Heath Slater vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Booker goes WAY old school by mentioning the One Man Gang and Devastation Inc, saying Jackson is both. Hes Inc? As in I can buy stock in him? Slater tries to use speed and that doesnt work well in the slightest. Jackson keeps throwing Slater around so Slater keeps charging at him. Well he is from West Virginia. Here come the slams and after only two of them theres the Rack. And theres Corre for the DQ at 2:37. Id assume this will lead to a gimmick match of some kind ..gauntlet maybe? Jackson fights them off this time. Somehow they work bullying into this. Im so fed up with that Im out of jokes for it.
Christian says he was the last one picked for kickball but at the end of the game hed kick more home runs that anyone. Apparently he was a Canadian Kickball Champion four times in a row. He was the last one of his friends to hit puberty but when he hit prom he had the prettiest girlfriend in the school. He was also the last person anyone thought would reach the top of WWE but he did it, and hes going to do it again. Id have put that on someone like Shawn Stasiak but ok.
Great Khali vs. Kane
Before the match we get a recap of Jinder Mahal smacking Khali last week and making him all evil again. Singh is here again this week. This is billed as the Monsters Brawl. Khali overpowers him to start, taking him into the corner. He chokes away, kind of wrestling heel here. Off to the nerve hold as I guess 1:40 of action was too much for Khali. Thats getting into Dusty territory there. Big chop misses and they both grab for chokeslams. Khali sends him to the floor but Kane guillotines him on the top rope and the flying clothesline ends this at 2:33. No rating but this was pretty bad, even for a battle of the giants.
Mahal comes out again, this time with music that is similar to Khalis original song. He yells at Khali more and smacks him before going after Singh. Khali defends his brother but then puts the vice grip on Singh. Khali is a bully now. For the love of all things good and holy, FIND SOMETHING NEW TO MAKE PEOPLE HEELS!
We get a clip from Raw of Show being injured. Apparently hes going to need several weeks of rehab.
Booker is in the ring, complete with some theme music. He wants Cole to get into the ring which Cole begrudgingly does. Booker wants to talk about the Kiss My Foot match and we get a clip of the toe being in his mouth. Booker says he was just playing and puts his arm around an annoyed Cole. He starts a Kiss My Feet chant and thats it for this segment. Uh yeah because this warranted TV time.
Sheamus doesnt want to answer Strikers questions but says hes tired of hearing about Christian winning the title and Henry has won a total of nothing since hes been here. Sheamus won his first world title in a few months, which is very true.
After a clip of Kharmas breakdown on Raw, its time for a tag match.
Alicia Fox/Tamina vs. AJ/Kaitlyn
AJ!!! Seriously, that girl is too cute for words. Natalya is with the NXT chicks. We get an inset clip of them talking as Kaitlyn doesnt like Tamina/Alicia because there are too many As in their names. AJ vs. Alicia to start us off and that doesnt last long as its off to Kaitlyn. Shes downright passable in the ring now which is a miracle by comparison. Kaitlyn gets a side slam for two and everything breaks down. Never mind though as Alicia gets the axe kick to Kaitlyn and were done at 1:37. That was the only major move the heels hit the entire time.
Henry says hell win and hes NOT boring or irrelevant.
Macho Man tribute video. Thats the only one that has ever gotten to me.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry vs. Christian
Winner gets Orton next week apparently and not at Capitol Punishment. Booker picks Sheamus. Everyone goes at it at once to start but the monsters take Christian down quickly. Cole is being a jerk again here and picks Sheamus also. The double teaming continues but Christian slides to the floor. Sheamus goes after him but is sent into the steps. Ill give him this: Sheamus isnt a cowardly heel. Thats a big plus for him.
Henry takes over on Christian with his basic variety of move, standing on his chest. The referee can be heard saying he cant break it because there are no rules and therefore no counting. Sheamus pops back in and rolls up Christian for two as Henry is knocked down to the floor. Sheamus sets for the Brogue Kick but Christian hits the Killswitch out of nowhere, only for Henry to make the save.
Here comes Orton after about three and a half minutes and we take a break. Back with Henry pounding on Christian. Josh makes an interesting comment that this is Henry and Christian against Sheamus. Bear hug to the Canadian but Sheamus comes back in. The monsters go at it until Henry grabs a belly to belly and heaves Sheamus back out to the floor. Cool looking move.
Christian is taken down by Henry just ramming into him which gets two. Christian avoids a drop down and hits a pair of middle rope dropkicks to take the big fat tub of goo down. Sheamus pops up to take Christian down off the top and then hammers on Sheamus. Hes an equal opportunity heel I guess. Christian and Sheamus hammer away at each other on the top and down goes the pale one, but Christian jumps into a Worlds Strongest Slam for two.
Booker says were like 18 minutes into this. By my math its more like 12 but when has wrestling ever had adequate watches? Henry is sent to the floor and the High Cross (name changed again) is countered into a pendulum kick. Tornado DDT gets two. Henry takes out Orton for no apparent reason but gets sent into Sheamus by Christian. Spear takes down Sheamus but Orton comes in for an RKO to Henry. The distraction lets Sheamus kick out and Christian yells at the referee just long enough to let Sheamus kick his head off for the pin at 11:38 shown of 15:08.
Results
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors into a mat slam
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes LeBell Lock
Ezekiel Jackson b. Heath Slater via DQ when Corre interfered
Kane b. Great Khali Top rope clothesline
Alicia Fox/Tamina b. AJ/Kaitlyn Axe kick to Kaitlyn
Sheamus b. Christian and Mark Henry Brogue Kick to Christian
Saturday
Nothing today.
Sunday
WWE has signed a luchador named Averno, apparently to feud with Sin Cara.
Quick Results
Raw
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show Double DDT to Big Show
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne Gutwrench Powerbomb
Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torries/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim went to a no contest when Kharma interfered
Kofi Kingston b. Drew McIntyre SOS
John Cena/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/R-Truth Springboard legdrop to Punk
NXT
Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton/Yoshi Tatsu Sharpshooter to Saxton
Conor OBrian b. JTG Small Package
Titus ONeil b. Darren Young Pin after a Tadpole Splash
Impact
Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles b. Bully Ray/Tommy Dreamer Spike Piledriver to Dreamer
Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Morgan Pin after a Downward Spiral from Scott Steiner
Mickie James b. Winter Jumping DDT
Abyss b. Brian Kendrick Black Hole Slam
Eric Young b. Gunner Small Package
Kurt Angle b. Rob Van Dam Angle Slam
Smackdown
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors into a mat slam
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes LeBell Lock
Ezekiel Jackson b. Heath Slater via DQ when Corre interfered
Kane b. Great Khali Top rope clothesline
Alicia Fox/Tamina b. AJ/Kaitlyn Axe kick to Kaitlyn
Sheamus b. Christian and Mark Henry Brogue Kick to Christian