klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 2017
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
We're past Payback and that means things can finally start settling down around here. The big story continues to be Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman with Strowman beating the injured Reigns clean last night. Extreme Rules is in just over a month and an ambulance match would seem to be the next logical step. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
The women's division is in the ring with a pedestal in the middle and here's Alexa Bliss for her coronation as the new champion. Bliss thanks everyone for being here tonight, even if Kurt Angle forced them to be here. The Queen is gone is gone but not to worry because the Goddess is here. These women are an inspiration, including Mickie James, despite her contemporaries Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah having moved on to a better place.
As for Sasha, she's the woman that Alexa beat to get where she is today. Sasha glares at her and Bliss backs into Nia. Bliss: “We're good. We're good.” Alexa gets on the pedestal and laughs at Bayley for losing in front of all her family last night. At least now Bayley's nephews will have someone to look up to. The brawl starts in a hurry and we take a break.
Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma/Alicia Fox vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke/Mickie James
Alexa hides from Bayley to start so it's Emma forearming Bayley in the back instead. Mickie comes in and starts on the arm before it's off to Alicia vs. Dana with Brooke scoring off a running cartwheel splash. Bayley works on Alicia's arm as they're tagging in and out at a very fast pace.
Fox sends Banks outside and it's a big staredown on the floor. Back with Nia throwing Sasha around and dropping an elbow for two. Bliss comes back in for some boot choking but Sasha avoids a charge. The hot tag brings in Bayley to take Alexa down and send her into the buckle ten straight times. Everything breaks down with everyone brawling to the floor, leaving Bliss to rake Bayley's eyes, setting up a DDT for the pin at 14:03.
Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows
Enzo says they have bags underneath their eyes (they're Gucci) because their real life is better than their dreams. Anderson and Gallows jump them from behind though and we take a break before the bell. The match is joined in progress with Gallows working on the arm. Enzo avoids a charge in the corner though and scores with some kicks to the face, only to uppercut Amore's head off. Another shot staggers Gallows and Amore goes up, only to have Anderson offer a distraction. The flapjack gives Luke the pin at 5:30.
Neville tells TJ Perkins to stay focused.
Here's Seth Rollins to talk about how he's persevered through everything and is doing everything he's wanted to do. Now though, he wants the Beast. Cue Finn Balor to say while Rollins has done a lot, he's the one armed man who became the first ever Universal Champion. Remember that Seth?
Dean Ambrose comes out to say he wants part of the fight but here's Miz to say he's awesome and Balor is a coward. Miz talks about being a threat until all three tell him to shut up at the same time. Dean asks who wants to see someone beat up the Miz and pulls out his phone to call Kurt. With the call over, Dean says Kurt has made Miz vs. Balor vs. Rollins with the winner getting an Intercontinental Title match.
We look back at last night's main event.
Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar vs. Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher
The good guys all have umbrellas for their entrances. Tozawa kicks Kendrick in the face to start but Nese runs him over without much effort. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the villains are sent outside, leaving everyone else to pose. Back with Tozawa in trouble at the hands of all three heels.
Tozawa finally gets in a kick and makes the hot tag off to Swann. Rich speeds things way up and hits a running flip ax kick (Booker: “Like a Harlem Hangover!”
followed by a running 450. Everything breaks down with Gallagher and Kendrick being left alone in the ring. The Captain's Hook is broken up and Jack hits the running dropkick for the pin at 10:34.
We look back at Sheamus and Cesaro turning heel last night.
Here are Sheamus (who Graves correctly identifies as looking like Travis Bickle) and Cesaro for their explanation. Sheamus is tired of living in a fog where he had to pretend to like the fans. They were ready to take their titles back at Wrestlemania but then the Hardys were thrown in for the nostalgia reaction.
That moment didn't last long though because it was just a novelty. Now they're ready to dominate again, as only they can. Cesaro and Sheamus go to leave but here are the Hardys to cut them off. Matt talks about being banged up fro\m last night's post match ambush but their response is DELETE. The champs chase them off.
Miz is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back but Ambrose comes in to ask if Miz's hair gel gets in his eyes when he wrestles. Miz leaves so “Mean” Dean Ambrose throws it back to Bobby and Gene at ringside.
Heath Slater vs. Apollo Crews
This is over Titus being annoyed that Slater gave Crews advice on being a new father. Crews takes him to the mat to start and Slater is already in over his head. A headscissors doesn't get Heath anywhere as Crews nips up for a staredown. Crews misses a charge in the corner though and we get a Titus vs. Rhyno staredown (Perhaps over Main Event issues from last week? I know you know what I'm talking about.). Back in and Crews hits an enziguri, followed by the Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 3:46.
Here's Angle to talk about Reigns vs. Strowman. Last night's matches had consequences with Reigns re-injuring his ribs and Strowman tearing his rotator cuff. Kurt has been thinking about this all day but here's Bray Wyatt to interrupt. Bray is here as a savior after rising from his own ashes with burnt wings. Angle says this is his ring but Bray says it's his world.
Dean interviews Rollins because there are cameras in the locker room and therefore there must be an interview. After listing off some potential names, Dean asks if Rollins would like an Intercontinental Title shot. Tensions are teased but Dean throws it back to Gorilla before it goes too far.
Austin Aries vs. TJ Perkins
They trade shots in the corner to start until Aries hits one heck of a shot to the jaw. Perkins comes right back by tying him in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the knee to put Aries in trouble. Back from a break with Perkins putting on a butterfly lock, followed by a springboard spinning forearm for two. Aries' knee is too banged up to be thrown across the ring and his shoulder hits the post to make it even worse.
TJ doesn't even let him fall down before he grabs a half crab in the ropes. Aries comes right back though by kicking TJ to the floor for the suicide dive. The middle rope elbow to the back gets two but the knee gives out again. TJ tries the Detonation Kick, only to have Aries reverse into the Last Chancery for the tap at 11:20.
Post match Perkins puts Aries in the kneebar to leave him laying.
Ambrose interviews Balor and suggests eating a carb. Balor takes a bite of a doughnut before heading to the ring but is replaced by the Drifter, who seems to confuse Ambrose.
Golden Truth's request for a Tag Team Title shot is turned down as they don't have the best win/loss record. Angle will however put them in a Tag Team Turmoil match next week, which seems to work fine.
Last night, Angle said goodbye to Chris Jericho after he won the US Title, sending him to Smackdown.
Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz
The winner is #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title. Miz heads to the floor like the coward he is so it's Balor vs. Rollins to start. Neither of them seem that interested in fighting though as they keep looking at Miz before finally heading out after him. He finally gets caught and tries to fight, only to be kicked out to the floor.
We get Rollins vs. Balor again but Miz pulls Finn to the floor and hides Maryse so Seth can't hit a dive. All three get back inside, only to have Miz shoves Seth off the top for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Balor elbowing out of Miz's chinlock until Rollins tries a high crossbody but lands on his head. Thankfully he's right back up but Miz sends him into Balor to put Finn down on the floor.
Both good guys take kicks to the chest until Finn throws Miz at Rollins for a DDT but dropkicks Seth down at the same time. They head outside with Balor hitting some HARD kicks to the face (Graves: “Who knew that in twenty four hours the Irish would revolutionize dentistry?), followed by 1916 for a near fall on Rollins. Balor gets crotched against the post and Miz's low DDT gets two on Seth. Miz starts kicking at the bad knee to set up the Figure Four on Rollins but Balor makes the save.
They trade kicks to the face with Seth getting a near fall of his own. A double Blockbuster sets up a frog splash on Balor and Seth can't believe the kickout. Rollins runs the corner for the superplex into the Falcon Arrow on Miz but here's Samoa Joe to Rock Bottom him on the floor. Not that it matters as Balor is up with the Sling Blade and Coup de Grace.....but here's Wyatt to shove him off the top. Sister Abigail lays Finn out and Miz steals the pin at 22:25.
Results
Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Dana Brooke/Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James – DDT to Bayley
Luke Gallows b. Enzo Amore – Flapjack
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher b. Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar – Running dropkick to Kendrick
Apollo Crews b. Heath Slater – Toss Powerbomb
Austin Aries b. TJ Perkins – Last Chancery
Miz b. Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – Pin after Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: May 2, 2017
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal now and that means we're in the Jinder Mahal Could Be World Champion Era. Mahal cost Randy Orton the House of Horrors match on Sunday to help set up the title match at Backlash in just under three weeks so Orton is likely out for revenge. Tonight we have Chris Jericho defending his newly regained US Title against Kevin Owens, which sounds like something could be up. Let's get to it.
Earlier today, Jinder Mahal was in a photo shoot with the stolen Smackdown World Title. Shane McMahon came up and took it back while saying Mahal would be facing Sami Zayn tonight.
Opening sequence.
Here's Shane to introduce Chris Jericho as the newest member of the Smackdown roster. See, this is the new Show of Jericho so smack it down man! Cue AJ Styles, who will face the US Champion, whoever that is (Owens) at Backlash. Styles reminisces about their previous issues and says he's looking forward to Backlash where he can take the title.
That doesn't sit well with Jericho, and do you know what happens when you don't sit well with Jericho? It turns out that you get cut off by Owens, who is reminded that he tapped out. Owens wants AJ to get out of his ring so Styles goes up the ramp for a brawl. Shane: “SPLIT EM UP!” Jericho: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Shane gets his way as security breaks it up.
Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal
Zayn is still banged up after Baron Corbin attacked him last week on Talking Smack, earning Corbin a suspension for the week. Mahal elbows him in the back of the head to start but Sami speeds things up with a headscissors. A dropkick sends Mahal outside and we take a break. Back with Sami in a chinlock for a good while until Jinder gets two off a clothesline. And never mind as it's right back to the chinlock.
Sami misses a dropkick but starts his clothesline based comeback, followed by the high crossbody for two. The corner climb tornado DDT looks to set up the Helluva Kick but one of the Singh Brothers pulls Mahal to the floor. The other grabs Sami's foot, setting up the cobra clutch slam to give Mahal the pin at 10:57.
Becky Lynch comes up to the Welcoming Committee and mentions them all by name for no apparent reason. They think Becky should be getting the shots that Charlotte gets but she doesn't seem convinced.
Dolph Ziggler and some friends of his watch a Shinsuke Nakamura video and aren't impressed. Ziggler runs his mouth about Nakamura and insults Shane, who is of course right behind him.
Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English
English isn't happy with Tye for cutting off his song. Dillinger starts fast with a forearm and clothesline before stomping away in the corner. As usual, the TEN chants seem to be more over than he is but take what you can get. Tye loads up the Tyebreaker but spins English around into a facebuster instead of the backbreaker for the pin at 1:05.
English seems to have a breakdown post match.
Jericho is about to talk to Renee Young (who he calls Ronnie) when he runs into the crying Aiden English. There's no need to cry when you can sing and have a hairy chest. That being said, do you know what happens when you cry on Chris Jericho's new show? HE JUST MADE THE LIST! And so did Renee for no apparent reason!
Charlotte doesn't think much of the Welcoming Committee so they beat her down.
Naomi/Charlotte vs. Carmella/Natalya
And there's no Charlotte due to the attack. An early atomic drop doesn't do anything to Carmella so Naomi kicks the heck out of her leg. Carmella's kick has no effect either and it's time for the dancing kicks. The fresh Natalya comes in and poses a bit before getting sunset flipped for two.
A headscissors puts Natalya on the floor but she blocks a baseball slide (that's a new one) and sends Naomi face first into the steps. The double teaming puts Naomi in real trouble with Carmella shouting about Naomi wanting to kick her. Natalya and Naomi collide on a double crossbody and here's a banged up Charlotte to take the hot tag. Now it's Charlotte's turn to get taken down by the numbers game and we take a break.
Back with Natalya fighting out of a bodyscissors with ease since Carmella really isn't that big of a threat, even when Charlotte is injured. Carmella misses a Bronco Buster and the real hot tag brings in Naomi for a springboard crossbody. The Rear View should finish Carmella but Natalya offers a distraction, allowing Carmella to grab a rollup with tights for the pin at 11:42.
The Welcoming Committee beats on Charlotte and Naomi until Becky Lynch slowly walks out. She shakes hands with the Committee before throwing Ellsworth into the women and hammering on all of them. Tamina superkicks Becky down and the Welcoming Committee stands tall.
Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler elbows him in the mask to start but eats a springboard elbow for his efforts. A big kick sends Ziggler to the floor and Cara only somewhat botches the suicide dive when his feet get caught on the ropes. Back in and Ziggler gets two off a neckbreaker before they botch...I think a reversal to a suplex where Ziggler couldn't stick the landing. Ziggler quickly recovers with a fireman's carry slam but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb. Not that it matters as Ziggler gets the superkick for the pin at 4:33.
Lana vignette.
And now, the Fashion Files from the Fashion Police. We go to a police station where Breezango are investigating the Usos for a variety of crimes. Fandango: “They're twins.” Breeze: “Identity theft!” Along with making their outfits making Breezango's eyes hurt, Tyler thinks they're guilty of Jimmy and Jey walking. The big bust goes down in Chicago on May 21.
The best part here is everything in the background, ranging from a framed picture of the Big Boss Man to various news articles about the tag match to some wanted posters. A few examples are John Cena with whereabouts unknown, Nakamura as the King of Strong No Style and the Colons for real estate fraud. This is what giving a fresh team a shot can do for you as this was the first entertaining thing to happen to the division since American Alpha won the belts in the first place. Breezango might not be the best team in the world but they're likeable and this was funny so give them a one off chance.
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens
Jericho is defending and Styles is banned from ringside. They waste no time in getting the fight started with Jericho stomping on the injured hand that cost Owens the title on Sunday. Owens sends him into the steps though and takes over without too much effort. The backsplash keeps Jericho in trouble and he's thrown outside for a Cannonball against the barricade.
Back from a break with Jericho escaping the Pop Up Powerbomb but Lionsaulting onto knees. The second attempt works fine and it's off to the Walls. This time Owens makes the rope but another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Walls in the middle of the ring. A much better tease of the tap out sets up Owens making the ropes again and it's back to the floor. Owens nails a loud superkick and DDTs him onto the ramp. Back in and another superkick sets up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the title back at 12:40.
Medics come in to check on Jericho, who takes another powerbomb. Owens leaves and a very woozy looking Jericho is carried out. Of course Kevin comes back out and puts a chair around Jericho's neck which is sent into the post. Owens slowly walks up the ramp to end the show.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. Sami Zayn – Cobra clutch slam
Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English – Fireman's carry into a facebuster
Carmella/Natalya b. Naomi/Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of tights
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Superkick
Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Pop Up Powerbomb
Wednesday
NXT
Date: May 3, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Tom Phillips, Nigel McGuinness
We're rapidly approaching Takeover: Chicago and that means we need to fill in a lot of the card. As luck would have it, a major development is going to take place tonight as we have a battle royal for the #1 contendership to the Women's Title. That leaves a lot of doors open for challengers, including a potential Ember Moon rematch. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Killian Dain vs. Danny Burch
The monster Dain drives him into the corner and pulls him off the middle rope for a big crash. The backsplash connects and is greeted by a SHAVE YOUR BACK chant, followed by a series of elbow drops. Burch slugs away with a series of strikes but Dain flattens him with a running dropkick. The Ulster Plantation finishes Burch at 2:51.
The Velveteen Dream, whom I believe is Patrick Clark, is coming. The silhouette certainly looks like him.
Heavy Machinery vs. Ricardo Watts/Hector Kunsman
The jobbers make Rey Mysterio look huge. Dozovich runs Hector over to start and a double falling headbutt makes things even worse. Ricardo is dragged in and Machinery exchange chest bumps. Knight splashes both of them in the corner before Dozovich lifts them both at the same time for a double World's Strongest Slam and the double pin at 2:41.
Post match Heavy Machinery says they love to have a good time, meaning some carb shakes and trips to the buffet. When they step in the ring, they have a hunger for smashing bodies. The appetizers are over now and they want the main course: the Authors of Pain. Heavy Machinery is very much a case of “what you see is what you get” but they play their roles very well and that's what matters the most.
Bobby Roode talks to Kona Reeves before Reeves faces Hideo Itami.
DIY might not have Heavy Machinery's size but they're the former NXT Tag Team Champions. They love more competition but the line starts behind them.
Kona Reeves vs. Hideo Itami
Itami has ditched the entrance gear and just comes out in his regular trunks and boots. Reeves jumps him before the bell though and has the advantage once the match actually starts. Kona turns up the cockiness but Hideo pops to his feet and fires off the clotheslines and kicks. More kicks knock Kona down in the corner and the GTS puts him away at 2:08. That's an effective squash but I'm not sure a two minute match is the best way to get him back on his feet after an injury and so close to what's going to be a twenty plus minute title match.
Video on Drew McIntyre, including a look back at his initial WWE run.
It's part two of the mini documentary on Roderick Strong. This time we're at home with his pregnant fiance and they're getting things ready for the baby's arrival. He loves the idea of being called a father and a husband and now those things are about to be true. We get some clips of Strong's very early career from his days in IPW Hardcore Wrestling and then his time in the Performance Center.
Now we go back to the Ring of Honor days, which still messes with me just a little bit. He was there for thirteen years and then he got the call. With tears in his eyes, Strong says don't give up and everything will be ok. We wrap it up with Strong holding his newborn baby. This was another excellent package and made me think more of Strong (who I'm a fan of) than I have before, which is exactly the point. He hasn't made an impact yet (a match in Chicago would help) but that could change very quickly.
Roode is in William Regal's office and doesn't think much of the video. He also doesn't think Hideo should get the title shot yet because it could mess with the champ's face. Regal actually agrees and puts Itami in a #1 contenders match against Strong for next week. Strong comes in and has a staredown with Roode. I thought Roode vs. Itami was already set but I do like Itami having to earn the shot.
Battle Royal
Lacey Evans, Billie Kay, Peyton Royce, Nikki Cross, Liv Morgan, Ruby Riot, Ember Moon, Aliyah, Bianca Blair, Candice LeRae, Kimberly Frankele, Rachel Evers, Sonya Deville, Victoria Gonzalez, Sara Bridges
The winner gets Asuka in Chicago. Evans is better known as Macey Estrella, Deville is the former Daria Berenato and a lot of these women are unknowns without entrances. LeRae is a heavy fan favorite and gets a LET'S GO CANDICE chant. Gonzalez, who has some size to her, goes after Royce and Kay to start but can't get rid of them. It's your usual battle royal brawling with teased eliminations that don't go anywhere.
We take a break and come back with Gonzalez having been eliminated at the hands of Royce and Kaye. Blair is out next, followed by Aliyah elbowing Evers out to a chorus of booing. Bridges, Evans and Deville go out in the span of five seconds and Riot eliminates Kimberly. We're down to LeRae, Royce, Kay, Cross, Riot, Morgan, Moon and Aliyah. Kay kicks Candice out, earning possibly the most heat of her career.
Cross dumps Aliyah and the fans are rather pleased. Come on, Aliyah isn't.....ok maybe she is that bad. Nikki does the same to Morgan and the fans are pleased all over again. Moon superkicks Kay out and gets rid of Peyton a few seconds later, leaving us with Moon, Riot and Cross. Cross goes straight for Riot but Ember kicks her in the face. All three wind up in the corner with Moon kicking the other two away and hitting the Eclipse on Cross. That's not enough for an elimination so Ember heads up again, only to have Asuka come in.....for a no contest at 14:46.
Asuka sends Moon HARD to the floor and head first into the barricade. Riot gets kicked in the head and Cross is dropped as well, leaving Asuka to shout that no one is ready for her. Asuka runs off as Moon is holding her shoulder on the floor. Regal comes out to announce the four way title match for Chicago to end the show.
Results
Killian Dain b. Danny Burch – Ulster Plantation
Heavy Machinery b. Ricardo Watts/Hector Kunsman – Double World's Strongest Slam
Hideo Itami b. Kona Reeves – GTS
A Battle Royal went to a no contest when Asuka interfered
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
We're starting to get close to Slammiversary and that means we need to start lining up some title matches. There isn't a lot announced for this week's show as things are moving at a somewhat slow pace right now. Then again we have about two months before the next pay per view so they can take their time. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week. Thank goodness as I had to pull up last week's review to remember anything about that show.
Opening sequence.
Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.
Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards
Josh says Sydal made his debut in the six sided ring last week, which means Josh doesn't know his TNA history. Feeling out process to start with a technical sequence leading to a standoff. Sydal gets in a few kicks to the legs for the first advantage before countering a slam off the top with an ankle scissors. Now why didn't Flair ever think of that? Eddie elbows his way out of a Muta Lock and grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb for two.
A sitout F5 sets up a spinwheel kick but Eddie can't follow up. Matt hurricanranas him off the top for two but gets sent outside for the suicide dive. Back from a break with Sydal getting two off a powerbomb, only to get caught with a middle rope Codebreaker. As good as this has been, let's pause for Josh to rant about JB a bit. Eddie slips out of a powerbomb but the Boston Knee Party is blocked with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press gives Eddie the clean pin at 14:51.
They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.
Magnus thinks he should be in the main event of Slammiversary but now he has to face Alberto El Patron. If that's what he has to do then so be it, but here's Matt Morgan to say he should get the shot. Bruce Prichard comes in and makes a GFW Title match for later tonight.
KM is exercising when a custodian comes in to clean. He sweeps up trash and leaves but KM throws a piece of paper on the floor and yells at the guy for missing it. KM does it again and the custodian says it wasn't there ten seconds ago. That doesn't sit well with KM, who doesn't like being called a liar.
GFW Women's Title: Sienna vs. Christina Von Eerie
Von Eerie is defending. Sienna grabs a suplex for two to start and Von Eerie is in trouble early on. Another suplex sets up a neck crank and Von Eerie is dumped outside in a big crash. Christina tries a Pedigree on the apron but gets backdropped back onto the floor as this has been completely one sided. Back in and a Pounce completes the squash to give us a new champion at 3:56. The announcers' biggest concern: Sienna has no respect for the Jarretts.
As for the match itself, Von Eerie beat a jobber last week and that's the grand total of her exposure here until she got squashed to lose her title. Get rid of these belts as soon as possible or just drop them already. It's clear that Impact Wrestling isn't going to bother to explain ANY of this so get rid of them as soon as possible.
Eli Drake tells Bruce Prichard he wants in on the title picture. Instead he gets Alberto El Patron later tonight, but it's for a shot at the GFW Title.
ODB wants to make Impact great.
JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.
Karen Jarrett makes Alisha vs. Angelina Love for some point in the future. Sienna comes up to brag about being champion but Karen says the target is on Sienna's back. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.
Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen
Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.
Carter puts the new bosses on notice.
Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.
GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.
Morgan pops up for his revolving elbows in the corner, followed by a side slam. A chokeslam gets two on the champ and the Carbon Footprint puts him on the floor. Morgan's knee gives out so Magnus can grab the title. The distraction lets Magnus get in a low blow, followed by a Michinoku Driver and the top rope elbow to retain at 9:20.
Lashley doesn't care about the GFW Title because that's the title people can win.
More JB sign stuff.
LAX wants to hurt more people.
James Storm wants to make Impact great.
Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.
Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks
Kong throws him into the corner to start and stands on Weeks' chest. Three straight chokeslams into backbreakers (at Laurel Van Ness' orders) set up a Cannonball and a top rope splash to put Weeks away at 2:47.
Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.
Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.
We look back at Sonjay Dutt getting hurt in the X-Division Title match two weeks ago. Dutt isn't sure if he should have come back. If they don't give him the title at Slammiversary, I have no idea what they're thinking. It's not the most interesting story but they've set it up.
Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron
The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.
Drake's chinlock doesn't work but Alberto misses a charge and both people are down. Drake gets back up and grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for a close two, only to have Alberto nail a low superkick for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a twisting throw for another near fall as this is far more competitive than I was expecting.
Drake can't get a superplex and of course he winds up in the Tree of Woe. For once someone is actually smart enough to sit up and pull El Patron down. A springboard moonsault gives Drake two but he gets caught in the cross armbreaker. That's countered as well but Drake gets caught in the ropes, setting up the double stomp (from the mat instead of the stomp) to give Alberto the pin at 17:56.
Results
Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press
Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er
Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow
Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash
Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Dana Brooke/Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James – DDT to Bayley
Luke Gallows b. Enzo Amore – Flapjack
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher b. Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar – Running dropkick to Kendrick
Apollo Crews b. Heath Slater – Toss Powerbomb
Austin Aries b. TJ Perkins – Last Chancery
Miz b. Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – Pin after Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt
Smackdown
Jinder Mahal b. Sami Zayn – Cobra clutch slam
Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English – Fireman's carry into a facebuster
Carmella/Natalya b. Naomi/Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of tights
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Superkick
Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Pop Up Powerbomb
NXT
Killian Dain b. Danny Burch – Ulster Plantation
Heavy Machinery b. Ricardo Watts/Hector Kunsman – Double World's Strongest Slam
Hideo Itami b. Kona Reeves – GTS
A Battle Royal went to a no contest when Asuka interfered
Impact Wrestling
Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press
Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er
Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow
Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash
Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 2017
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
We're past Payback and that means things can finally start settling down around here. The big story continues to be Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman with Strowman beating the injured Reigns clean last night. Extreme Rules is in just over a month and an ambulance match would seem to be the next logical step. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
The women's division is in the ring with a pedestal in the middle and here's Alexa Bliss for her coronation as the new champion. Bliss thanks everyone for being here tonight, even if Kurt Angle forced them to be here. The Queen is gone is gone but not to worry because the Goddess is here. These women are an inspiration, including Mickie James, despite her contemporaries Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah having moved on to a better place.
As for Sasha, she's the woman that Alexa beat to get where she is today. Sasha glares at her and Bliss backs into Nia. Bliss: “We're good. We're good.” Alexa gets on the pedestal and laughs at Bayley for losing in front of all her family last night. At least now Bayley's nephews will have someone to look up to. The brawl starts in a hurry and we take a break.
Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma/Alicia Fox vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke/Mickie James
Alexa hides from Bayley to start so it's Emma forearming Bayley in the back instead. Mickie comes in and starts on the arm before it's off to Alicia vs. Dana with Brooke scoring off a running cartwheel splash. Bayley works on Alicia's arm as they're tagging in and out at a very fast pace.
Fox sends Banks outside and it's a big staredown on the floor. Back with Nia throwing Sasha around and dropping an elbow for two. Bliss comes back in for some boot choking but Sasha avoids a charge. The hot tag brings in Bayley to take Alexa down and send her into the buckle ten straight times. Everything breaks down with everyone brawling to the floor, leaving Bliss to rake Bayley's eyes, setting up a DDT for the pin at 14:03.
Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows
Enzo says they have bags underneath their eyes (they're Gucci) because their real life is better than their dreams. Anderson and Gallows jump them from behind though and we take a break before the bell. The match is joined in progress with Gallows working on the arm. Enzo avoids a charge in the corner though and scores with some kicks to the face, only to uppercut Amore's head off. Another shot staggers Gallows and Amore goes up, only to have Anderson offer a distraction. The flapjack gives Luke the pin at 5:30.
Neville tells TJ Perkins to stay focused.
Here's Seth Rollins to talk about how he's persevered through everything and is doing everything he's wanted to do. Now though, he wants the Beast. Cue Finn Balor to say while Rollins has done a lot, he's the one armed man who became the first ever Universal Champion. Remember that Seth?
Dean Ambrose comes out to say he wants part of the fight but here's Miz to say he's awesome and Balor is a coward. Miz talks about being a threat until all three tell him to shut up at the same time. Dean asks who wants to see someone beat up the Miz and pulls out his phone to call Kurt. With the call over, Dean says Kurt has made Miz vs. Balor vs. Rollins with the winner getting an Intercontinental Title match.
We look back at last night's main event.
Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar vs. Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher
The good guys all have umbrellas for their entrances. Tozawa kicks Kendrick in the face to start but Nese runs him over without much effort. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the villains are sent outside, leaving everyone else to pose. Back with Tozawa in trouble at the hands of all three heels.
Tozawa finally gets in a kick and makes the hot tag off to Swann. Rich speeds things way up and hits a running flip ax kick (Booker: “Like a Harlem Hangover!”
followed by a running 450. Everything breaks down with Gallagher and Kendrick being left alone in the ring. The Captain's Hook is broken up and Jack hits the running dropkick for the pin at 10:34.We look back at Sheamus and Cesaro turning heel last night.
Here are Sheamus (who Graves correctly identifies as looking like Travis Bickle) and Cesaro for their explanation. Sheamus is tired of living in a fog where he had to pretend to like the fans. They were ready to take their titles back at Wrestlemania but then the Hardys were thrown in for the nostalgia reaction.
That moment didn't last long though because it was just a novelty. Now they're ready to dominate again, as only they can. Cesaro and Sheamus go to leave but here are the Hardys to cut them off. Matt talks about being banged up fro\m last night's post match ambush but their response is DELETE. The champs chase them off.
Miz is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back but Ambrose comes in to ask if Miz's hair gel gets in his eyes when he wrestles. Miz leaves so “Mean” Dean Ambrose throws it back to Bobby and Gene at ringside.
Heath Slater vs. Apollo Crews
This is over Titus being annoyed that Slater gave Crews advice on being a new father. Crews takes him to the mat to start and Slater is already in over his head. A headscissors doesn't get Heath anywhere as Crews nips up for a staredown. Crews misses a charge in the corner though and we get a Titus vs. Rhyno staredown (Perhaps over Main Event issues from last week? I know you know what I'm talking about.). Back in and Crews hits an enziguri, followed by the Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 3:46.
Here's Angle to talk about Reigns vs. Strowman. Last night's matches had consequences with Reigns re-injuring his ribs and Strowman tearing his rotator cuff. Kurt has been thinking about this all day but here's Bray Wyatt to interrupt. Bray is here as a savior after rising from his own ashes with burnt wings. Angle says this is his ring but Bray says it's his world.
Dean interviews Rollins because there are cameras in the locker room and therefore there must be an interview. After listing off some potential names, Dean asks if Rollins would like an Intercontinental Title shot. Tensions are teased but Dean throws it back to Gorilla before it goes too far.
Austin Aries vs. TJ Perkins
They trade shots in the corner to start until Aries hits one heck of a shot to the jaw. Perkins comes right back by tying him in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the knee to put Aries in trouble. Back from a break with Perkins putting on a butterfly lock, followed by a springboard spinning forearm for two. Aries' knee is too banged up to be thrown across the ring and his shoulder hits the post to make it even worse.
TJ doesn't even let him fall down before he grabs a half crab in the ropes. Aries comes right back though by kicking TJ to the floor for the suicide dive. The middle rope elbow to the back gets two but the knee gives out again. TJ tries the Detonation Kick, only to have Aries reverse into the Last Chancery for the tap at 11:20.
Post match Perkins puts Aries in the kneebar to leave him laying.
Ambrose interviews Balor and suggests eating a carb. Balor takes a bite of a doughnut before heading to the ring but is replaced by the Drifter, who seems to confuse Ambrose.
Golden Truth's request for a Tag Team Title shot is turned down as they don't have the best win/loss record. Angle will however put them in a Tag Team Turmoil match next week, which seems to work fine.
Last night, Angle said goodbye to Chris Jericho after he won the US Title, sending him to Smackdown.
Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz
The winner is #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title. Miz heads to the floor like the coward he is so it's Balor vs. Rollins to start. Neither of them seem that interested in fighting though as they keep looking at Miz before finally heading out after him. He finally gets caught and tries to fight, only to be kicked out to the floor.
We get Rollins vs. Balor again but Miz pulls Finn to the floor and hides Maryse so Seth can't hit a dive. All three get back inside, only to have Miz shoves Seth off the top for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Balor elbowing out of Miz's chinlock until Rollins tries a high crossbody but lands on his head. Thankfully he's right back up but Miz sends him into Balor to put Finn down on the floor.
Both good guys take kicks to the chest until Finn throws Miz at Rollins for a DDT but dropkicks Seth down at the same time. They head outside with Balor hitting some HARD kicks to the face (Graves: “Who knew that in twenty four hours the Irish would revolutionize dentistry?), followed by 1916 for a near fall on Rollins. Balor gets crotched against the post and Miz's low DDT gets two on Seth. Miz starts kicking at the bad knee to set up the Figure Four on Rollins but Balor makes the save.
They trade kicks to the face with Seth getting a near fall of his own. A double Blockbuster sets up a frog splash on Balor and Seth can't believe the kickout. Rollins runs the corner for the superplex into the Falcon Arrow on Miz but here's Samoa Joe to Rock Bottom him on the floor. Not that it matters as Balor is up with the Sling Blade and Coup de Grace.....but here's Wyatt to shove him off the top. Sister Abigail lays Finn out and Miz steals the pin at 22:25.
Results
Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Dana Brooke/Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James – DDT to Bayley
Luke Gallows b. Enzo Amore – Flapjack
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher b. Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar – Running dropkick to Kendrick
Apollo Crews b. Heath Slater – Toss Powerbomb
Austin Aries b. TJ Perkins – Last Chancery
Miz b. Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – Pin after Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: May 2, 2017
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal now and that means we're in the Jinder Mahal Could Be World Champion Era. Mahal cost Randy Orton the House of Horrors match on Sunday to help set up the title match at Backlash in just under three weeks so Orton is likely out for revenge. Tonight we have Chris Jericho defending his newly regained US Title against Kevin Owens, which sounds like something could be up. Let's get to it.
Earlier today, Jinder Mahal was in a photo shoot with the stolen Smackdown World Title. Shane McMahon came up and took it back while saying Mahal would be facing Sami Zayn tonight.
Opening sequence.
Here's Shane to introduce Chris Jericho as the newest member of the Smackdown roster. See, this is the new Show of Jericho so smack it down man! Cue AJ Styles, who will face the US Champion, whoever that is (Owens) at Backlash. Styles reminisces about their previous issues and says he's looking forward to Backlash where he can take the title.
That doesn't sit well with Jericho, and do you know what happens when you don't sit well with Jericho? It turns out that you get cut off by Owens, who is reminded that he tapped out. Owens wants AJ to get out of his ring so Styles goes up the ramp for a brawl. Shane: “SPLIT EM UP!” Jericho: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Shane gets his way as security breaks it up.
Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal
Zayn is still banged up after Baron Corbin attacked him last week on Talking Smack, earning Corbin a suspension for the week. Mahal elbows him in the back of the head to start but Sami speeds things up with a headscissors. A dropkick sends Mahal outside and we take a break. Back with Sami in a chinlock for a good while until Jinder gets two off a clothesline. And never mind as it's right back to the chinlock.
Sami misses a dropkick but starts his clothesline based comeback, followed by the high crossbody for two. The corner climb tornado DDT looks to set up the Helluva Kick but one of the Singh Brothers pulls Mahal to the floor. The other grabs Sami's foot, setting up the cobra clutch slam to give Mahal the pin at 10:57.
Becky Lynch comes up to the Welcoming Committee and mentions them all by name for no apparent reason. They think Becky should be getting the shots that Charlotte gets but she doesn't seem convinced.
Dolph Ziggler and some friends of his watch a Shinsuke Nakamura video and aren't impressed. Ziggler runs his mouth about Nakamura and insults Shane, who is of course right behind him.
Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English
English isn't happy with Tye for cutting off his song. Dillinger starts fast with a forearm and clothesline before stomping away in the corner. As usual, the TEN chants seem to be more over than he is but take what you can get. Tye loads up the Tyebreaker but spins English around into a facebuster instead of the backbreaker for the pin at 1:05.
English seems to have a breakdown post match.
Jericho is about to talk to Renee Young (who he calls Ronnie) when he runs into the crying Aiden English. There's no need to cry when you can sing and have a hairy chest. That being said, do you know what happens when you cry on Chris Jericho's new show? HE JUST MADE THE LIST! And so did Renee for no apparent reason!
Charlotte doesn't think much of the Welcoming Committee so they beat her down.
Naomi/Charlotte vs. Carmella/Natalya
And there's no Charlotte due to the attack. An early atomic drop doesn't do anything to Carmella so Naomi kicks the heck out of her leg. Carmella's kick has no effect either and it's time for the dancing kicks. The fresh Natalya comes in and poses a bit before getting sunset flipped for two.
A headscissors puts Natalya on the floor but she blocks a baseball slide (that's a new one) and sends Naomi face first into the steps. The double teaming puts Naomi in real trouble with Carmella shouting about Naomi wanting to kick her. Natalya and Naomi collide on a double crossbody and here's a banged up Charlotte to take the hot tag. Now it's Charlotte's turn to get taken down by the numbers game and we take a break.
Back with Natalya fighting out of a bodyscissors with ease since Carmella really isn't that big of a threat, even when Charlotte is injured. Carmella misses a Bronco Buster and the real hot tag brings in Naomi for a springboard crossbody. The Rear View should finish Carmella but Natalya offers a distraction, allowing Carmella to grab a rollup with tights for the pin at 11:42.
The Welcoming Committee beats on Charlotte and Naomi until Becky Lynch slowly walks out. She shakes hands with the Committee before throwing Ellsworth into the women and hammering on all of them. Tamina superkicks Becky down and the Welcoming Committee stands tall.
Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler elbows him in the mask to start but eats a springboard elbow for his efforts. A big kick sends Ziggler to the floor and Cara only somewhat botches the suicide dive when his feet get caught on the ropes. Back in and Ziggler gets two off a neckbreaker before they botch...I think a reversal to a suplex where Ziggler couldn't stick the landing. Ziggler quickly recovers with a fireman's carry slam but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb. Not that it matters as Ziggler gets the superkick for the pin at 4:33.
Lana vignette.
And now, the Fashion Files from the Fashion Police. We go to a police station where Breezango are investigating the Usos for a variety of crimes. Fandango: “They're twins.” Breeze: “Identity theft!” Along with making their outfits making Breezango's eyes hurt, Tyler thinks they're guilty of Jimmy and Jey walking. The big bust goes down in Chicago on May 21.
The best part here is everything in the background, ranging from a framed picture of the Big Boss Man to various news articles about the tag match to some wanted posters. A few examples are John Cena with whereabouts unknown, Nakamura as the King of Strong No Style and the Colons for real estate fraud. This is what giving a fresh team a shot can do for you as this was the first entertaining thing to happen to the division since American Alpha won the belts in the first place. Breezango might not be the best team in the world but they're likeable and this was funny so give them a one off chance.
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens
Jericho is defending and Styles is banned from ringside. They waste no time in getting the fight started with Jericho stomping on the injured hand that cost Owens the title on Sunday. Owens sends him into the steps though and takes over without too much effort. The backsplash keeps Jericho in trouble and he's thrown outside for a Cannonball against the barricade.
Back from a break with Jericho escaping the Pop Up Powerbomb but Lionsaulting onto knees. The second attempt works fine and it's off to the Walls. This time Owens makes the rope but another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Walls in the middle of the ring. A much better tease of the tap out sets up Owens making the ropes again and it's back to the floor. Owens nails a loud superkick and DDTs him onto the ramp. Back in and another superkick sets up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the title back at 12:40.
Medics come in to check on Jericho, who takes another powerbomb. Owens leaves and a very woozy looking Jericho is carried out. Of course Kevin comes back out and puts a chair around Jericho's neck which is sent into the post. Owens slowly walks up the ramp to end the show.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. Sami Zayn – Cobra clutch slam
Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English – Fireman's carry into a facebuster
Carmella/Natalya b. Naomi/Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of tights
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Superkick
Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Pop Up Powerbomb
Wednesday
NXT
Date: May 3, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Tom Phillips, Nigel McGuinness
We're rapidly approaching Takeover: Chicago and that means we need to fill in a lot of the card. As luck would have it, a major development is going to take place tonight as we have a battle royal for the #1 contendership to the Women's Title. That leaves a lot of doors open for challengers, including a potential Ember Moon rematch. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Killian Dain vs. Danny Burch
The monster Dain drives him into the corner and pulls him off the middle rope for a big crash. The backsplash connects and is greeted by a SHAVE YOUR BACK chant, followed by a series of elbow drops. Burch slugs away with a series of strikes but Dain flattens him with a running dropkick. The Ulster Plantation finishes Burch at 2:51.
The Velveteen Dream, whom I believe is Patrick Clark, is coming. The silhouette certainly looks like him.
Heavy Machinery vs. Ricardo Watts/Hector Kunsman
The jobbers make Rey Mysterio look huge. Dozovich runs Hector over to start and a double falling headbutt makes things even worse. Ricardo is dragged in and Machinery exchange chest bumps. Knight splashes both of them in the corner before Dozovich lifts them both at the same time for a double World's Strongest Slam and the double pin at 2:41.
Post match Heavy Machinery says they love to have a good time, meaning some carb shakes and trips to the buffet. When they step in the ring, they have a hunger for smashing bodies. The appetizers are over now and they want the main course: the Authors of Pain. Heavy Machinery is very much a case of “what you see is what you get” but they play their roles very well and that's what matters the most.
Bobby Roode talks to Kona Reeves before Reeves faces Hideo Itami.
DIY might not have Heavy Machinery's size but they're the former NXT Tag Team Champions. They love more competition but the line starts behind them.
Kona Reeves vs. Hideo Itami
Itami has ditched the entrance gear and just comes out in his regular trunks and boots. Reeves jumps him before the bell though and has the advantage once the match actually starts. Kona turns up the cockiness but Hideo pops to his feet and fires off the clotheslines and kicks. More kicks knock Kona down in the corner and the GTS puts him away at 2:08. That's an effective squash but I'm not sure a two minute match is the best way to get him back on his feet after an injury and so close to what's going to be a twenty plus minute title match.
Video on Drew McIntyre, including a look back at his initial WWE run.
It's part two of the mini documentary on Roderick Strong. This time we're at home with his pregnant fiance and they're getting things ready for the baby's arrival. He loves the idea of being called a father and a husband and now those things are about to be true. We get some clips of Strong's very early career from his days in IPW Hardcore Wrestling and then his time in the Performance Center.
Now we go back to the Ring of Honor days, which still messes with me just a little bit. He was there for thirteen years and then he got the call. With tears in his eyes, Strong says don't give up and everything will be ok. We wrap it up with Strong holding his newborn baby. This was another excellent package and made me think more of Strong (who I'm a fan of) than I have before, which is exactly the point. He hasn't made an impact yet (a match in Chicago would help) but that could change very quickly.
Roode is in William Regal's office and doesn't think much of the video. He also doesn't think Hideo should get the title shot yet because it could mess with the champ's face. Regal actually agrees and puts Itami in a #1 contenders match against Strong for next week. Strong comes in and has a staredown with Roode. I thought Roode vs. Itami was already set but I do like Itami having to earn the shot.
Battle Royal
Lacey Evans, Billie Kay, Peyton Royce, Nikki Cross, Liv Morgan, Ruby Riot, Ember Moon, Aliyah, Bianca Blair, Candice LeRae, Kimberly Frankele, Rachel Evers, Sonya Deville, Victoria Gonzalez, Sara Bridges
The winner gets Asuka in Chicago. Evans is better known as Macey Estrella, Deville is the former Daria Berenato and a lot of these women are unknowns without entrances. LeRae is a heavy fan favorite and gets a LET'S GO CANDICE chant. Gonzalez, who has some size to her, goes after Royce and Kay to start but can't get rid of them. It's your usual battle royal brawling with teased eliminations that don't go anywhere.
We take a break and come back with Gonzalez having been eliminated at the hands of Royce and Kaye. Blair is out next, followed by Aliyah elbowing Evers out to a chorus of booing. Bridges, Evans and Deville go out in the span of five seconds and Riot eliminates Kimberly. We're down to LeRae, Royce, Kay, Cross, Riot, Morgan, Moon and Aliyah. Kay kicks Candice out, earning possibly the most heat of her career.
Cross dumps Aliyah and the fans are rather pleased. Come on, Aliyah isn't.....ok maybe she is that bad. Nikki does the same to Morgan and the fans are pleased all over again. Moon superkicks Kay out and gets rid of Peyton a few seconds later, leaving us with Moon, Riot and Cross. Cross goes straight for Riot but Ember kicks her in the face. All three wind up in the corner with Moon kicking the other two away and hitting the Eclipse on Cross. That's not enough for an elimination so Ember heads up again, only to have Asuka come in.....for a no contest at 14:46.
Asuka sends Moon HARD to the floor and head first into the barricade. Riot gets kicked in the head and Cross is dropped as well, leaving Asuka to shout that no one is ready for her. Asuka runs off as Moon is holding her shoulder on the floor. Regal comes out to announce the four way title match for Chicago to end the show.
Results
Killian Dain b. Danny Burch – Ulster Plantation
Heavy Machinery b. Ricardo Watts/Hector Kunsman – Double World's Strongest Slam
Hideo Itami b. Kona Reeves – GTS
A Battle Royal went to a no contest when Asuka interfered
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
We're starting to get close to Slammiversary and that means we need to start lining up some title matches. There isn't a lot announced for this week's show as things are moving at a somewhat slow pace right now. Then again we have about two months before the next pay per view so they can take their time. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week. Thank goodness as I had to pull up last week's review to remember anything about that show.
Opening sequence.
Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.
Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards
Josh says Sydal made his debut in the six sided ring last week, which means Josh doesn't know his TNA history. Feeling out process to start with a technical sequence leading to a standoff. Sydal gets in a few kicks to the legs for the first advantage before countering a slam off the top with an ankle scissors. Now why didn't Flair ever think of that? Eddie elbows his way out of a Muta Lock and grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb for two.
A sitout F5 sets up a spinwheel kick but Eddie can't follow up. Matt hurricanranas him off the top for two but gets sent outside for the suicide dive. Back from a break with Sydal getting two off a powerbomb, only to get caught with a middle rope Codebreaker. As good as this has been, let's pause for Josh to rant about JB a bit. Eddie slips out of a powerbomb but the Boston Knee Party is blocked with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press gives Eddie the clean pin at 14:51.
They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.
Magnus thinks he should be in the main event of Slammiversary but now he has to face Alberto El Patron. If that's what he has to do then so be it, but here's Matt Morgan to say he should get the shot. Bruce Prichard comes in and makes a GFW Title match for later tonight.
KM is exercising when a custodian comes in to clean. He sweeps up trash and leaves but KM throws a piece of paper on the floor and yells at the guy for missing it. KM does it again and the custodian says it wasn't there ten seconds ago. That doesn't sit well with KM, who doesn't like being called a liar.
GFW Women's Title: Sienna vs. Christina Von Eerie
Von Eerie is defending. Sienna grabs a suplex for two to start and Von Eerie is in trouble early on. Another suplex sets up a neck crank and Von Eerie is dumped outside in a big crash. Christina tries a Pedigree on the apron but gets backdropped back onto the floor as this has been completely one sided. Back in and a Pounce completes the squash to give us a new champion at 3:56. The announcers' biggest concern: Sienna has no respect for the Jarretts.
As for the match itself, Von Eerie beat a jobber last week and that's the grand total of her exposure here until she got squashed to lose her title. Get rid of these belts as soon as possible or just drop them already. It's clear that Impact Wrestling isn't going to bother to explain ANY of this so get rid of them as soon as possible.
Eli Drake tells Bruce Prichard he wants in on the title picture. Instead he gets Alberto El Patron later tonight, but it's for a shot at the GFW Title.
ODB wants to make Impact great.
JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.
Karen Jarrett makes Alisha vs. Angelina Love for some point in the future. Sienna comes up to brag about being champion but Karen says the target is on Sienna's back. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.
Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen
Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.
Carter puts the new bosses on notice.
Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.
GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.
Morgan pops up for his revolving elbows in the corner, followed by a side slam. A chokeslam gets two on the champ and the Carbon Footprint puts him on the floor. Morgan's knee gives out so Magnus can grab the title. The distraction lets Magnus get in a low blow, followed by a Michinoku Driver and the top rope elbow to retain at 9:20.
Lashley doesn't care about the GFW Title because that's the title people can win.
More JB sign stuff.
LAX wants to hurt more people.
James Storm wants to make Impact great.
Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.
Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks
Kong throws him into the corner to start and stands on Weeks' chest. Three straight chokeslams into backbreakers (at Laurel Van Ness' orders) set up a Cannonball and a top rope splash to put Weeks away at 2:47.
Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.
Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.
We look back at Sonjay Dutt getting hurt in the X-Division Title match two weeks ago. Dutt isn't sure if he should have come back. If they don't give him the title at Slammiversary, I have no idea what they're thinking. It's not the most interesting story but they've set it up.
Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron
The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.
Drake's chinlock doesn't work but Alberto misses a charge and both people are down. Drake gets back up and grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for a close two, only to have Alberto nail a low superkick for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a twisting throw for another near fall as this is far more competitive than I was expecting.
Drake can't get a superplex and of course he winds up in the Tree of Woe. For once someone is actually smart enough to sit up and pull El Patron down. A springboard moonsault gives Drake two but he gets caught in the cross armbreaker. That's countered as well but Drake gets caught in the ropes, setting up the double stomp (from the mat instead of the stomp) to give Alberto the pin at 17:56.
Results
Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press
Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er
Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow
Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash
Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Dana Brooke/Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James – DDT to Bayley
Luke Gallows b. Enzo Amore – Flapjack
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher b. Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar – Running dropkick to Kendrick
Apollo Crews b. Heath Slater – Toss Powerbomb
Austin Aries b. TJ Perkins – Last Chancery
Miz b. Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – Pin after Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt
Smackdown
Jinder Mahal b. Sami Zayn – Cobra clutch slam
Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English – Fireman's carry into a facebuster
Carmella/Natalya b. Naomi/Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of tights
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Superkick
Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Pop Up Powerbomb
NXT
Killian Dain b. Danny Burch – Ulster Plantation
Heavy Machinery b. Ricardo Watts/Hector Kunsman – Double World's Strongest Slam
Hideo Itami b. Kona Reeves – GTS
A Battle Royal went to a no contest when Asuka interfered
Impact Wrestling
Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press
Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er
Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow
Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash
Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp