klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.9, up from last week.
The Bella Twins' contracts expire in a few weeks and at the moment they've chosen not to re-sign. That could change of course, but as of now they'll be gone in a few weeks.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
After last week's huge show it should be very interesting to see where the company goes from here. Brock Lesnar returned last week and laid out Cena, so I'd bet that we're going to hear about that here. Other than that we have Brodus teaming with Santino apparently to face Ziggler/Swagger. Throw in Lord Tensai and Punk vs. Jericho and there are a ton of ways this show could go. Let's get to it.
Oh and the cast of the Three Stooges is here tonight. Scratch that whole great show tonight.
We open with....the Stooges. Not Brock, not Cena, not Rock, not Punk, but a video on the Stooges.
Punk vs. Henry for the belt tonight.
Ace and Otunga really open the show. Ace now has trumpets for his music, which is probably a good thing. He talks about how this next guy is going to be the future of the WWE and will carry the banner of the company for years to come. We get a clip of Lesnar returning last week and laying out Cena. Brock vs. Cena is officially announced for Extreme Rules. Well Cena's last match was a year long build so maybe a quick one is a good idea here.
Cole actually mentions UFC by name during Brock's entrance. Brock does the jump to the apron thing. He thanks Ace for having the wisdom to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. That's all Brock can get out because here comes Cena. Cena slams Brock in the face and HERE WE GO. Brock takes him down immediately but a bunch of suits pull them apart. Ok scratch that as they try to pull them apart. A bunch of jobbers and Ziggler come out and now there are bigger names in there.
There are probably thirty guys in there but they can't keep Brock back. Even Sheamus is in there. Cena has some serious blood from his mouth and what looks like a huge hole in his lip. Now Cena goes after Brock again. They go at it AGAIN and Lesnar is finally put outside. Really hot opening here with faces and heels acting more realistic by having guys from either side of the spectrum holding back both Cena and Lesnar.
After a break Ace yells at Teddy and says it was his fault for not containing Cena. He sends Teddy off to get an explanation from Cena and complains to Otunga. Teddy leaves when Eve pops in and says to call her later. Why not talk to him now?
Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Dolph and Santino start things off with Ziggy hooking some quick rollups for two. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and Jack manages to take him down as we take a break. Back with Ziggler dropping an elbow for two on Santino. Off to swagger who slams Santino down to block a tag. Dolph comes back in and hooks something like a crossface which is broken up. There's the hot tag to Brodus who cleans house, headbutts Dolph down and splashes him for the pin at 8:00.
Miz is looking to talk to Ace but Ace says we'll talk next week. Teddy comes in and gets yelled at but Cena comes in with dried blood on his face. He talks about the legitimacy that Ace wants which is fine with Cena, because he loves this and has no issue with getting his face busted up. Cena wants a match tonight and says Ace can pick the opponent no matter who it is. Cena leaves and Ace takes care of the idea of a mystery by saying it'll be Otunga. Gee good thing he told us. We might have waited to see who it was.
Santino is looking for the Three Stooges.
Back from a break and he's still looking. They're playing it up like they're the real Stooges and not actors portraying the Stooges. Instead santino finds Kane and does Stooges sound effects anyway. Kane isn't pleased so Santino runs off.
R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody takes him down quickly with the Alabama Slam....and here's big Show who looks pretty awesome in a suit. We get a video from last week with Cody getting beaten by Kofi. The video ends and Cody walks into Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:38. You know, like last week, but this week instead.
Santino is still looking for them and finds a crate marked fragile. He thinks it's Italian soda sent by his mom so he pries it open to find the Stooges. Slapstick ensues. We get the debut of the Moe-Bra. They go back in the box but Moe says they need to think outside of it.
Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Believe it or not there's a story to this. Yoshi has said on Twitter that he's REAL Japanese and not a fake like Tensai. An Albert chant breaks out as he rams in headbutts. Yoshi got in a pair of chops but that's about it. Tensai hits a bunch of strikes and just like last week it's stopped after a chokebomb at 2:04. Claw hold post match.
Before we go to break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk's head last week.
After we come back from break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk's head last week.
Here's Punk to talk about how Straightedge isn't something everyone gets. It's just one drink or one cigarette and he gets that. However to him it's a choice. It wasn't something he chose to be trendy, but rather because it's a way of life. He doesn't talk about it that much (other than becoming a messiah because of it) because he didn't want people to feel sorry for him. He told himself a long time ago that he'd make it to the top because he's the best in the world.
And then here came Chris Jericho who also says that he's the best in the world. Jericho broke the privacy that Punk has spent his life building up by telling the world about his father's alcoholism and making up lies about his sister. Then at Wrestlemania, he made Jericho tap out. Jericho took it one step further and poured whiskey all over him and broke the bottle over his head. It made Punk smell exactly like his father did when he'd come home drunk, which is something Punk hates.
Jericho pops up on the screen and thinks Punk is still hung over. Is he shaking because he's on his first bender? Last week, Jericho made him CM Drunk for the first time. Punk is shaking with anger and says that last week all that was broken was a bottle. He says that Jericho's failure was taking Punk to a dark place because he's going to take that out on Jericho.
Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk
Punk goes right at him with knees and a spinning kick. A clothesline doesn't do much and Henry runs him over on a second attempt at one. They go to the floor and Punk hits him with a monitor for the DQ at 47 seconds. Ok then.
Punk gets ready to jump off the apron with the monitor but Jericho pops up with alcohol. The distraction lets Henry get up and destroy Punk with a pair of slams in the ring. Henry leaves so Jericho pulls out his beer He goes to pour it on Punk but the champ pops up and it's on. Punk charges into the Codebreaker though and gets beer poured on him.
Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
This is exactly what you would expect from a Ryder match anymore: Del Rio beats him up, Ryder gets in a few shots so that two people in the audience believe he could have a chance, the Rough Ryder is countered and the armbreaker ends it at 1:27. The way they've treated Ryder might be the thing in WWE that disgusts me more than anything else in company history. Seriously.
The Stooges have an idea for something next.
Here are the Stooges minus Curly. He comes out in a fat suit as Hogan but his voice is high pitched. Moe smacks him and he turns into a pretty bad Hogan imitation. The fans are NOT impressed. THANKFULLY Kane comes out, drawing cheers. He does the fire corners thing and Moe/Larry run. Curly Hulks Up and gets chokeslammed. This was so stupid.
Henry says next week he gets another title shot, no DQ and no countout.
We recap the brawl that opened the show.
Lesnar says he's proud of everything he does. Eight years ago he left and went to the UFC, won their world title and gave them success which he's proud of. Now he's proud to be back here where Cena thinks he's on the top. Cena couldn't hold his jockstrap in a million years. He's not here to make friends because he's a proud war machine but he's not as proud as the fans should be to have him back.
Here's a video of the main event guys talking about how great HHH vs. Taker was because we can't go five minutes without praising HHH or Undertaker right? At least with this one, the match really was that good.
John Cena vs. David Otunga
Feeling out process to start and Cena wipes the baby oil off Otunga. To be fair the guy was probably a fire hazard. Cena pounds him but he misses a splash in the corner and David gets in some offense. Shoulder block gets two. Otunga poses a lot and here comes Cena. The usual stuff sets up the Shuffle, AA, STF for the tap at 5:05.
Post match Brock runs in and low blows Cena (which we get a full replay of in the middle of the attack) and lays him out with the F5.
Results
Santino Marella/Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger Splash to Ziggler
R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes Little Jimmy
Lord Tensai b. Yoshi Tatsu via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Punk hit Henry with a monitor
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder Cross Armbreaker
John Cena b. David Otunga STF
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.1.
Smackdown
Date: April 10, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
This is another special live show with a theme of Blast From The Past. That means that we have the legends coming out again for their semi-annual appearances which don't mean much other than us getting to say hey, I know you. It still should be fun though as most of these shows are. Also we might even get some fallout from last week with Sheamus. Let's get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indians' bullpen. How can it be this bad?
We get a quick clip of Bryan breaking up with AJ last week. Bryan is in Piper's Pit tonight.
Here's Mean Gene for an interview in the ring with Sheamus. Ok so by interview it means introducing him and standing in the corner. Sheamus talks about there being a code of honor as champion and he didn't follow it last week. There was a Daniel Bryan chant as he started talking but it wasn't a huge one. He publicly apologizes to all referees including Chad Patton. Everyone makes mistakes and he always learns the hard way from them.
Ace's new trumpet music cuts him off. He shows us the clip of the ending of last week's main event and the Brogue Kick after the match. Ace wants to know who Sheamus thinks he is and demands a public apology. Sheamus says he just did that and Ace says he didn't hear it so do it again. He does it again and Ace wants an apology to all of the other referees and we get the same exchange with the same result. Now Ace wants an apology to the world which brings a smirk to Sheamus' face.
Ace says apologize now which Sheamus does, almost laughing at the same time. That's not good enough apparently and Sheamus is on permanent probation, meaning that if he touches a referee by accident or on purpose, he's fired. Also he's being fined $500,000. Also tonight it's Del Rio/Bryan vs. Sheamus/Okerlund. As long as we don't see him in trunks again I'm ok. This was an attempt at making us care about Sheamus and while it's nothing new at all, it's certainly better than nothing.
Bob Orton wishes his son good luck in his upcoming match.
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Henry misses a charge and Orton pounds away with right hands. He tries to climb the corner to punch even harder but gets slammed out for two. Bob is watching in the back as we take a break, 80 seconds into the match. Back with Orton fighting out of a neck crank. We see a clip from the break of Orton avoiding a charging Henry to send him into the stairs. Back to the neck crank and then a slam sets up a splash for two. Orton gets his feet up to stop a charging Henry and hits him clotheslines which don't work.
A low DDT like Miz uses gets two. RKO is countered with Henry throwing Orton to the floor. Orton comes back and rams him into the post twice and slides in when Kane's pyro goes off. Kane pops up on the screen and says by beating him at Mania, he became a monster again. Last week Orton proved he can be just as evil as Kane is. Kane says it shouldn't end now, so we pan back to see Bob Orton laid out in front of him. The match just stops at about 11:00.
Randy runs to the back and finds his dad but Kane drills him with a pipe and says he's a sucker for family reunions.
Back and we recap what we saw four minutes ago.
DiBiase and Atlas are watching from the back. Atlas says this is going to be a squash match.
Ryback vs. Benny Camer
Patterson and Hillbilly Jim are watching in the back as well. Ryback KILLS HIM with a clothesline right after the bell and then puts him in a torture rack position and falls backwards for the pin at 35 seconds. WAY better than both Lord Tensai matches so far as Ryback looked like a killer.
Heath Slater is trying to talk Tyson Kidd into teaming with him tonight. Slater even has a Hall of Fame manager for them that says Slater could be the next Honky Tonk Man. It's Jimmy Hart, who looks exactly the same as he did 20 years ago. Take that for what you will.
Mick Foley comes out to do commentary.
Heath Slater/Tyson Kidd vs. Usos
Cole actually references Countdown to Lockdown (not by name) when talking about Foley's commentary history. We get the Megaphone which never goes out of style. Jimmy starts with Tyson in this NXT special. They exchange cradles and Slater tags himself in. Off to a chinlock and Jimmy says that he's had more tag champions than anyone in the history of the WWE. I think Captain Lou might have something to say about that. The Usos make the hot tag and clean house, hitting their toss into the Samoan Drop. Mick gets tired of Jimmy and chases him off with Socko, allowing the Superfly Splash to end this mess at 2:40.
Jimmy takes Socko post match. These legends bits aren't working at all for the most part.
Time for the Pit with Bryan as the guest. He looks pretty good. Old but good. He's not as big as a house if nothing else. Piper says he misses being here and says Bryan is the guest tonight, getting a somewhat mixed reaction. We see the breakup clip for the fourth time tonight and here's Bryan. There's a brief but solid YES chant but it dies quickly. Piper says Bryan looks happy for someone that lost the title in 18 seconds. Bryan says he's been granted his rematch and the fans chant 18 seconds. The match is at Extreme Rules and it's 2/3 falls. AJ will be nowhere to be found.
Piper isn't sure about that but he does know that AJ is here tonight. He likes AJ and since this is his show, AJ, COME ON DOWN! AJ comes out and is very excited to be in the Pit. She says hi to Daniel and Piper is surprised. AJ defends Bryan and says that deep down, he's a good person. Piper says in the Pit you don't have to be politically correct. AJ insists it was her fault and begs forgiveness. She wants to talk to Bryan and Piper tries to talk her out of it. Bryan cuts them off and says if AJ loves him, she'll leave right now. Piper says she doesn't need to listen to Bryan but AJ leaves anyway, getting a reaction out of it too.
Bryan goes to leave but Piper goes into Hot Rod mode and talks about Bryan's YES YES YES shirt. Piper says he has a lot of children including four girls, four ladies. Piper says you don't tell a lady to shut up. That's a No. You don't yell at a lady. That's a No. You don't use a lady as a human shield, because that's a coward, and that's Bryan, also a No. Piper says he's looking forward to seeing Sheamus kick Bryan's head off twice. Bryan slaps Piper and runs away. Piper was on here and it worked well.
Drew McIntyre/Bella Twins vs. Great Khali/Natalya/Beth Phoenix
Men vs. men and women vs. women. The men start but Drew gets chopped and tags out. He says he doesn't need this and walks out. Alicia hits a northern lights suples on Brie for the pin at 56 seconds. What was the point in this match existing?
Mae Young comes out and kisses Khali. I guess that's why the match existed.
Damien Sandow explains how sophisticated he is. He doesn't like social media because it furthers the moral decay of society. Preach it brother.
Another clip of Kane and the Ortons earlier.
Raw ReBound.
Gene thinks Sheamus has a plan for tonight. Sheamus says they're probably going to lose tonight but he's not going to let Ace have the satisfaction of seeing Sheamus sweat. If they survive, the first pint is on Sheamus. They'll either drink to remember or drink to forget.
Jim Duggan vs. Hunico
Duggan knocks him to the floor where Camacho is waiting. Duggan calls out Sarge and I think we have a tag match on our hands. Well it is Smackdown after all. Or maybe Sarge throws Duggan the 2x4 and it's a DQ at 1:00. Hunico takes the Cobra Clutch post match.
Here's Cody to complain about life in general. He's looking forward to a future where he's the champion again and where these legends don't hog the spotlight. This brings out Dusty for what could be interesting. Dusty says that he'd do anything for his son, but he doesn't quite get what Cody has been doing lately. Cody has been poking a grizzly bear lately in Big Show. Dusty gets cut off as Cody says Dusty is embarrassing him and they can talk in the back.
Cody goes to leave but here's Big Show. He does the required Dusty impression and says he'll show the real Cody Rhodes. It's one of the Dashing Tips videos, this one being him putting on lip gloss. Cody looks stunned and Dusty looks.....uh.......I think the right word is disappointed. Show says that was embarrassing and leaves. Dusty doesn't say anything but does get to dance to his music. I still stand by my theory that Dusty's kids are the biggest ribs in the history of pro wrestling.
Alberto Del Rio/Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus/Gene Okerlund
The Fink does Gene/Sheamus' entrance, making it instantly better. Sheamus starts with Del Rio but the heels double team him down quickly. Gene is in a Sheamus t-shirt and pants thankfully. Del Rio puts on a facelock but gets backdropped quickly. Sheamus throws both of them around but the Brogue Kick misses. Bryan dropkicks him to the floor and Del Rio kicks his head off.
Gene gets in for some reason and is surrounded. Ricardo is in there too. The Legends Army comes out to distract Bryan, allowing Sheamus to kick his head off for the pin at 3:23. I'm not going to rate it as most of that was Gene getting trapped and the Legends coming in, but the match was nothing at all of note anyway.
The legends all beat up Ricardo and celebrate to end the show. We're not done yet though as Cole gets in the ring and says he knows they have to get back to the retirement home so let's get a quick photo. They surround him and Patterson gives him a weak right hand to knock him to the floor. Atlas has some GUNS on him.
Results
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest
Ryback b. Benny Camer Torture Rack Drop
Usos b. Tyson Kidd/Heath Slater Superfly Splash to Slater
Great Khali/Natalya/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Drew McIntyre Northern lights suplex to Brie
Hunico b. Jim Duggan via DQ when Duggan hit Hunico with the 2x4
Sheamus/Gene Okerlund b. Alberto Del Rio/Daniel Bryan Brogue Kick to Bryan
Wednesday
Smackdown got a 1.5, which is HORRIBLE.
NXT
Date: April 11, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews
It's that time of the week again. After last week's disappointing ending to the Who Stole Striker story, it's time for more Regal vs. Hawkins/Reks, because that hasn't been done to death yet around here. We'll also see Maxine trying to get her hooks into Regal, which is probably an idea they came up with in FCW and are using here. Let's get to it.
Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis
Maxine comes out with Curtis and Watson isn't pleased. He thought they weren't together anymore but Regal cuts off his complaints and tells Maxine to stay away from the ring. Maxine sits next to Regal and he can't speak as well all of a sudden. Watson speeds things up after a slow start with a one footed dropkick where he lands on his feet. That was pretty cool. They fight over a top wristlock and Watson takes over with an atomic drop and a legdrop for two.
Maxine is whispering into Regal's ear as Curtis takes over with right hands. He sends Percy's shoulder into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break. Regal is now off commentary and talking to Maxine. Curtis controls with a wristlock but Watson comes back and rams some shoulders into Curtis' ribs. Regal is frustrated that he isn't focused on his job as Curtis hits a cool move by dropping a leg on the arm of a standing Watson for two.
Back to the arm hold and Watson can't break out of it. Elbow to the arm gets two. Josh doesn't seem to get what's wrong with Regal. Regal tries to focus and talks about Curtis a bit but still isn't all there. I'd assume this is connected to whatever the list of stuff Regal is into that Maxine and Curtis were supposed to get their hands on last week or the week before. Watson starts his comeback with his usual strikes and the dropkicks as Regal leaves with Maxine. Belly to belly puts Curtis down and Watson is distracted by Regal leaving, allowing Curtis to roll him up for the pin at 8:13.
Hawkins and Reks talk to Maxine in the back who is minus Regal now. She talks to them and asks if they did that thing. Reks isn't sure what they she means but apparently Regal is going to be talking to them soon. She doesn't get Striker back until they know she didn't screw them over. Why does she want Striker back? They leave and Maxine pretends to cry when Bateman and Kaitlyn pop up. Maxine cries on Bateman's shoulder and asks for help with Reks/Hawkins. He says he'll do it because she's the worst thing that ever happened to him. He and Kaitlyn leave and Maxine smiles. This is a confusing story.
Tamina comes out of a dressing room and runs into Titus. She yells at him for leaving Young last week but Titus has a peace offering: a coconut tree. She seems legitimately pleased and kisses him on the cheek. Tamina walks off and runs into Young who doesn't seem happy with Titus giving her a gift. Young walks up to Titus and Titus says he was just proving he was better than Young again. Titus leaves and Young is mad.
Back to Kaitlyn and Bateman with the one with better legs saying that she misses the old days of NXT. Bateman disagrees but they hear screams from a closet. They open it up to find Striker bound and gagged holding Hawkins' cane. Bateman wants to get him to the doctor but Striker says he'll handle this. He leaves while Bateman and Kaitlyn shrug.
Raw ReBound is about Cena and Lesnar.
Regal comes up to Reks and Hawkins, saying he's underestimated them. He squeezes their necks and wants to know where Striker is. They don't know and Regal says if anything is wrong with Striker, there will be serious consequences. Regal leaves and they go to find Striker. They open the closet and find that he's gone. Are we supposed to believe that a guy that was kidnapped in whatever city has been in the same closet for a month now? Anyway Maxine comes with Curtis to laugh at them.
Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd
Regal is back on commentary and is all messed up still. We get a quick recap which is based around Kidd not being a Hart and this is the rubber match in the feud. Regal seems back into it once the bell rings. Kidd works on the arm to start and arm drags him to a stalemate. He keeps making McGillicutty miss by using his speed, including sliding between his legs to clothesline him to the floor. Kidd dives over the top but crotches himself on the ring skirt. McGillicutty sends him onto the announce table as we take a break.
Back with McGillicutty holding a chinlock as Regal talks about leopards. Kidd gets up quickly but a shot to the back of the head puts him right back down. As he did earlier, Kidd speeds things up and has better success. An armdrag puts McGillicutty down and then fires off the strikes. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A Sharpshooter is countered but Kidd comes back with a Blockbuster for two. I could go for seeing that move becoming someone's finisher again. Kidd kicks him in the head and tries his springboard cross body but Michael dropkicks him out of the air for two.
McGillicutter is countered into a backslide for two. Saito Suplex puts Kidd down and McGillicutty hooks a Sharpshooter on Kidd. Tyson makes the rope so McGillicutty tries the PerfectPlex, which should have been his finisher since the day he debuted. Kidd reverses it though and sets for the Sharpshooter. Instead of that though, he puts his foot above McGillicutty's shoulder and leans forward, wrapping his feet around Michael's head and pulling back on his arm as he leans back. It's like a triangle choke but with their legs intertwined and it gets the tap out at 9:24.
Results
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty Leg Trap Triangle Choke
Smackdown got a 1.9, up from last week.
The Bella Twins' contracts expire in a few weeks and at the moment they've chosen not to re-sign. That could change of course, but as of now they'll be gone in a few weeks.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
After last week's huge show it should be very interesting to see where the company goes from here. Brock Lesnar returned last week and laid out Cena, so I'd bet that we're going to hear about that here. Other than that we have Brodus teaming with Santino apparently to face Ziggler/Swagger. Throw in Lord Tensai and Punk vs. Jericho and there are a ton of ways this show could go. Let's get to it.
Oh and the cast of the Three Stooges is here tonight. Scratch that whole great show tonight.
We open with....the Stooges. Not Brock, not Cena, not Rock, not Punk, but a video on the Stooges.
Punk vs. Henry for the belt tonight.
Ace and Otunga really open the show. Ace now has trumpets for his music, which is probably a good thing. He talks about how this next guy is going to be the future of the WWE and will carry the banner of the company for years to come. We get a clip of Lesnar returning last week and laying out Cena. Brock vs. Cena is officially announced for Extreme Rules. Well Cena's last match was a year long build so maybe a quick one is a good idea here.
Cole actually mentions UFC by name during Brock's entrance. Brock does the jump to the apron thing. He thanks Ace for having the wisdom to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. That's all Brock can get out because here comes Cena. Cena slams Brock in the face and HERE WE GO. Brock takes him down immediately but a bunch of suits pull them apart. Ok scratch that as they try to pull them apart. A bunch of jobbers and Ziggler come out and now there are bigger names in there.
There are probably thirty guys in there but they can't keep Brock back. Even Sheamus is in there. Cena has some serious blood from his mouth and what looks like a huge hole in his lip. Now Cena goes after Brock again. They go at it AGAIN and Lesnar is finally put outside. Really hot opening here with faces and heels acting more realistic by having guys from either side of the spectrum holding back both Cena and Lesnar.
After a break Ace yells at Teddy and says it was his fault for not containing Cena. He sends Teddy off to get an explanation from Cena and complains to Otunga. Teddy leaves when Eve pops in and says to call her later. Why not talk to him now?
Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Dolph and Santino start things off with Ziggy hooking some quick rollups for two. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and Jack manages to take him down as we take a break. Back with Ziggler dropping an elbow for two on Santino. Off to swagger who slams Santino down to block a tag. Dolph comes back in and hooks something like a crossface which is broken up. There's the hot tag to Brodus who cleans house, headbutts Dolph down and splashes him for the pin at 8:00.
Miz is looking to talk to Ace but Ace says we'll talk next week. Teddy comes in and gets yelled at but Cena comes in with dried blood on his face. He talks about the legitimacy that Ace wants which is fine with Cena, because he loves this and has no issue with getting his face busted up. Cena wants a match tonight and says Ace can pick the opponent no matter who it is. Cena leaves and Ace takes care of the idea of a mystery by saying it'll be Otunga. Gee good thing he told us. We might have waited to see who it was.
Santino is looking for the Three Stooges.
Back from a break and he's still looking. They're playing it up like they're the real Stooges and not actors portraying the Stooges. Instead santino finds Kane and does Stooges sound effects anyway. Kane isn't pleased so Santino runs off.
R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody takes him down quickly with the Alabama Slam....and here's big Show who looks pretty awesome in a suit. We get a video from last week with Cody getting beaten by Kofi. The video ends and Cody walks into Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:38. You know, like last week, but this week instead.
Santino is still looking for them and finds a crate marked fragile. He thinks it's Italian soda sent by his mom so he pries it open to find the Stooges. Slapstick ensues. We get the debut of the Moe-Bra. They go back in the box but Moe says they need to think outside of it.
Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Believe it or not there's a story to this. Yoshi has said on Twitter that he's REAL Japanese and not a fake like Tensai. An Albert chant breaks out as he rams in headbutts. Yoshi got in a pair of chops but that's about it. Tensai hits a bunch of strikes and just like last week it's stopped after a chokebomb at 2:04. Claw hold post match.
Before we go to break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk's head last week.
After we come back from break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk's head last week.
Here's Punk to talk about how Straightedge isn't something everyone gets. It's just one drink or one cigarette and he gets that. However to him it's a choice. It wasn't something he chose to be trendy, but rather because it's a way of life. He doesn't talk about it that much (other than becoming a messiah because of it) because he didn't want people to feel sorry for him. He told himself a long time ago that he'd make it to the top because he's the best in the world.
And then here came Chris Jericho who also says that he's the best in the world. Jericho broke the privacy that Punk has spent his life building up by telling the world about his father's alcoholism and making up lies about his sister. Then at Wrestlemania, he made Jericho tap out. Jericho took it one step further and poured whiskey all over him and broke the bottle over his head. It made Punk smell exactly like his father did when he'd come home drunk, which is something Punk hates.
Jericho pops up on the screen and thinks Punk is still hung over. Is he shaking because he's on his first bender? Last week, Jericho made him CM Drunk for the first time. Punk is shaking with anger and says that last week all that was broken was a bottle. He says that Jericho's failure was taking Punk to a dark place because he's going to take that out on Jericho.
Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk
Punk goes right at him with knees and a spinning kick. A clothesline doesn't do much and Henry runs him over on a second attempt at one. They go to the floor and Punk hits him with a monitor for the DQ at 47 seconds. Ok then.
Punk gets ready to jump off the apron with the monitor but Jericho pops up with alcohol. The distraction lets Henry get up and destroy Punk with a pair of slams in the ring. Henry leaves so Jericho pulls out his beer He goes to pour it on Punk but the champ pops up and it's on. Punk charges into the Codebreaker though and gets beer poured on him.
Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
This is exactly what you would expect from a Ryder match anymore: Del Rio beats him up, Ryder gets in a few shots so that two people in the audience believe he could have a chance, the Rough Ryder is countered and the armbreaker ends it at 1:27. The way they've treated Ryder might be the thing in WWE that disgusts me more than anything else in company history. Seriously.
The Stooges have an idea for something next.
Here are the Stooges minus Curly. He comes out in a fat suit as Hogan but his voice is high pitched. Moe smacks him and he turns into a pretty bad Hogan imitation. The fans are NOT impressed. THANKFULLY Kane comes out, drawing cheers. He does the fire corners thing and Moe/Larry run. Curly Hulks Up and gets chokeslammed. This was so stupid.
Henry says next week he gets another title shot, no DQ and no countout.
We recap the brawl that opened the show.
Lesnar says he's proud of everything he does. Eight years ago he left and went to the UFC, won their world title and gave them success which he's proud of. Now he's proud to be back here where Cena thinks he's on the top. Cena couldn't hold his jockstrap in a million years. He's not here to make friends because he's a proud war machine but he's not as proud as the fans should be to have him back.
Here's a video of the main event guys talking about how great HHH vs. Taker was because we can't go five minutes without praising HHH or Undertaker right? At least with this one, the match really was that good.
John Cena vs. David Otunga
Feeling out process to start and Cena wipes the baby oil off Otunga. To be fair the guy was probably a fire hazard. Cena pounds him but he misses a splash in the corner and David gets in some offense. Shoulder block gets two. Otunga poses a lot and here comes Cena. The usual stuff sets up the Shuffle, AA, STF for the tap at 5:05.
Post match Brock runs in and low blows Cena (which we get a full replay of in the middle of the attack) and lays him out with the F5.
Results
Santino Marella/Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger Splash to Ziggler
R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes Little Jimmy
Lord Tensai b. Yoshi Tatsu via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Punk hit Henry with a monitor
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder Cross Armbreaker
John Cena b. David Otunga STF
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.1.
Smackdown
Date: April 10, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
This is another special live show with a theme of Blast From The Past. That means that we have the legends coming out again for their semi-annual appearances which don't mean much other than us getting to say hey, I know you. It still should be fun though as most of these shows are. Also we might even get some fallout from last week with Sheamus. Let's get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indians' bullpen. How can it be this bad?
We get a quick clip of Bryan breaking up with AJ last week. Bryan is in Piper's Pit tonight.
Here's Mean Gene for an interview in the ring with Sheamus. Ok so by interview it means introducing him and standing in the corner. Sheamus talks about there being a code of honor as champion and he didn't follow it last week. There was a Daniel Bryan chant as he started talking but it wasn't a huge one. He publicly apologizes to all referees including Chad Patton. Everyone makes mistakes and he always learns the hard way from them.
Ace's new trumpet music cuts him off. He shows us the clip of the ending of last week's main event and the Brogue Kick after the match. Ace wants to know who Sheamus thinks he is and demands a public apology. Sheamus says he just did that and Ace says he didn't hear it so do it again. He does it again and Ace wants an apology to all of the other referees and we get the same exchange with the same result. Now Ace wants an apology to the world which brings a smirk to Sheamus' face.
Ace says apologize now which Sheamus does, almost laughing at the same time. That's not good enough apparently and Sheamus is on permanent probation, meaning that if he touches a referee by accident or on purpose, he's fired. Also he's being fined $500,000. Also tonight it's Del Rio/Bryan vs. Sheamus/Okerlund. As long as we don't see him in trunks again I'm ok. This was an attempt at making us care about Sheamus and while it's nothing new at all, it's certainly better than nothing.
Bob Orton wishes his son good luck in his upcoming match.
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Henry misses a charge and Orton pounds away with right hands. He tries to climb the corner to punch even harder but gets slammed out for two. Bob is watching in the back as we take a break, 80 seconds into the match. Back with Orton fighting out of a neck crank. We see a clip from the break of Orton avoiding a charging Henry to send him into the stairs. Back to the neck crank and then a slam sets up a splash for two. Orton gets his feet up to stop a charging Henry and hits him clotheslines which don't work.
A low DDT like Miz uses gets two. RKO is countered with Henry throwing Orton to the floor. Orton comes back and rams him into the post twice and slides in when Kane's pyro goes off. Kane pops up on the screen and says by beating him at Mania, he became a monster again. Last week Orton proved he can be just as evil as Kane is. Kane says it shouldn't end now, so we pan back to see Bob Orton laid out in front of him. The match just stops at about 11:00.
Randy runs to the back and finds his dad but Kane drills him with a pipe and says he's a sucker for family reunions.
Back and we recap what we saw four minutes ago.
DiBiase and Atlas are watching from the back. Atlas says this is going to be a squash match.
Ryback vs. Benny Camer
Patterson and Hillbilly Jim are watching in the back as well. Ryback KILLS HIM with a clothesline right after the bell and then puts him in a torture rack position and falls backwards for the pin at 35 seconds. WAY better than both Lord Tensai matches so far as Ryback looked like a killer.
Heath Slater is trying to talk Tyson Kidd into teaming with him tonight. Slater even has a Hall of Fame manager for them that says Slater could be the next Honky Tonk Man. It's Jimmy Hart, who looks exactly the same as he did 20 years ago. Take that for what you will.
Mick Foley comes out to do commentary.
Heath Slater/Tyson Kidd vs. Usos
Cole actually references Countdown to Lockdown (not by name) when talking about Foley's commentary history. We get the Megaphone which never goes out of style. Jimmy starts with Tyson in this NXT special. They exchange cradles and Slater tags himself in. Off to a chinlock and Jimmy says that he's had more tag champions than anyone in the history of the WWE. I think Captain Lou might have something to say about that. The Usos make the hot tag and clean house, hitting their toss into the Samoan Drop. Mick gets tired of Jimmy and chases him off with Socko, allowing the Superfly Splash to end this mess at 2:40.
Jimmy takes Socko post match. These legends bits aren't working at all for the most part.
Time for the Pit with Bryan as the guest. He looks pretty good. Old but good. He's not as big as a house if nothing else. Piper says he misses being here and says Bryan is the guest tonight, getting a somewhat mixed reaction. We see the breakup clip for the fourth time tonight and here's Bryan. There's a brief but solid YES chant but it dies quickly. Piper says Bryan looks happy for someone that lost the title in 18 seconds. Bryan says he's been granted his rematch and the fans chant 18 seconds. The match is at Extreme Rules and it's 2/3 falls. AJ will be nowhere to be found.
Piper isn't sure about that but he does know that AJ is here tonight. He likes AJ and since this is his show, AJ, COME ON DOWN! AJ comes out and is very excited to be in the Pit. She says hi to Daniel and Piper is surprised. AJ defends Bryan and says that deep down, he's a good person. Piper says in the Pit you don't have to be politically correct. AJ insists it was her fault and begs forgiveness. She wants to talk to Bryan and Piper tries to talk her out of it. Bryan cuts them off and says if AJ loves him, she'll leave right now. Piper says she doesn't need to listen to Bryan but AJ leaves anyway, getting a reaction out of it too.
Bryan goes to leave but Piper goes into Hot Rod mode and talks about Bryan's YES YES YES shirt. Piper says he has a lot of children including four girls, four ladies. Piper says you don't tell a lady to shut up. That's a No. You don't yell at a lady. That's a No. You don't use a lady as a human shield, because that's a coward, and that's Bryan, also a No. Piper says he's looking forward to seeing Sheamus kick Bryan's head off twice. Bryan slaps Piper and runs away. Piper was on here and it worked well.
Drew McIntyre/Bella Twins vs. Great Khali/Natalya/Beth Phoenix
Men vs. men and women vs. women. The men start but Drew gets chopped and tags out. He says he doesn't need this and walks out. Alicia hits a northern lights suples on Brie for the pin at 56 seconds. What was the point in this match existing?
Mae Young comes out and kisses Khali. I guess that's why the match existed.
Damien Sandow explains how sophisticated he is. He doesn't like social media because it furthers the moral decay of society. Preach it brother.
Another clip of Kane and the Ortons earlier.
Raw ReBound.
Gene thinks Sheamus has a plan for tonight. Sheamus says they're probably going to lose tonight but he's not going to let Ace have the satisfaction of seeing Sheamus sweat. If they survive, the first pint is on Sheamus. They'll either drink to remember or drink to forget.
Jim Duggan vs. Hunico
Duggan knocks him to the floor where Camacho is waiting. Duggan calls out Sarge and I think we have a tag match on our hands. Well it is Smackdown after all. Or maybe Sarge throws Duggan the 2x4 and it's a DQ at 1:00. Hunico takes the Cobra Clutch post match.
Here's Cody to complain about life in general. He's looking forward to a future where he's the champion again and where these legends don't hog the spotlight. This brings out Dusty for what could be interesting. Dusty says that he'd do anything for his son, but he doesn't quite get what Cody has been doing lately. Cody has been poking a grizzly bear lately in Big Show. Dusty gets cut off as Cody says Dusty is embarrassing him and they can talk in the back.
Cody goes to leave but here's Big Show. He does the required Dusty impression and says he'll show the real Cody Rhodes. It's one of the Dashing Tips videos, this one being him putting on lip gloss. Cody looks stunned and Dusty looks.....uh.......I think the right word is disappointed. Show says that was embarrassing and leaves. Dusty doesn't say anything but does get to dance to his music. I still stand by my theory that Dusty's kids are the biggest ribs in the history of pro wrestling.
Alberto Del Rio/Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus/Gene Okerlund
The Fink does Gene/Sheamus' entrance, making it instantly better. Sheamus starts with Del Rio but the heels double team him down quickly. Gene is in a Sheamus t-shirt and pants thankfully. Del Rio puts on a facelock but gets backdropped quickly. Sheamus throws both of them around but the Brogue Kick misses. Bryan dropkicks him to the floor and Del Rio kicks his head off.
Gene gets in for some reason and is surrounded. Ricardo is in there too. The Legends Army comes out to distract Bryan, allowing Sheamus to kick his head off for the pin at 3:23. I'm not going to rate it as most of that was Gene getting trapped and the Legends coming in, but the match was nothing at all of note anyway.
The legends all beat up Ricardo and celebrate to end the show. We're not done yet though as Cole gets in the ring and says he knows they have to get back to the retirement home so let's get a quick photo. They surround him and Patterson gives him a weak right hand to knock him to the floor. Atlas has some GUNS on him.
Results
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest
Ryback b. Benny Camer Torture Rack Drop
Usos b. Tyson Kidd/Heath Slater Superfly Splash to Slater
Great Khali/Natalya/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Drew McIntyre Northern lights suplex to Brie
Hunico b. Jim Duggan via DQ when Duggan hit Hunico with the 2x4
Sheamus/Gene Okerlund b. Alberto Del Rio/Daniel Bryan Brogue Kick to Bryan
Wednesday
Smackdown got a 1.5, which is HORRIBLE.
NXT
Date: April 11, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews
It's that time of the week again. After last week's disappointing ending to the Who Stole Striker story, it's time for more Regal vs. Hawkins/Reks, because that hasn't been done to death yet around here. We'll also see Maxine trying to get her hooks into Regal, which is probably an idea they came up with in FCW and are using here. Let's get to it.
Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis
Maxine comes out with Curtis and Watson isn't pleased. He thought they weren't together anymore but Regal cuts off his complaints and tells Maxine to stay away from the ring. Maxine sits next to Regal and he can't speak as well all of a sudden. Watson speeds things up after a slow start with a one footed dropkick where he lands on his feet. That was pretty cool. They fight over a top wristlock and Watson takes over with an atomic drop and a legdrop for two.
Maxine is whispering into Regal's ear as Curtis takes over with right hands. He sends Percy's shoulder into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break. Regal is now off commentary and talking to Maxine. Curtis controls with a wristlock but Watson comes back and rams some shoulders into Curtis' ribs. Regal is frustrated that he isn't focused on his job as Curtis hits a cool move by dropping a leg on the arm of a standing Watson for two.
Back to the arm hold and Watson can't break out of it. Elbow to the arm gets two. Josh doesn't seem to get what's wrong with Regal. Regal tries to focus and talks about Curtis a bit but still isn't all there. I'd assume this is connected to whatever the list of stuff Regal is into that Maxine and Curtis were supposed to get their hands on last week or the week before. Watson starts his comeback with his usual strikes and the dropkicks as Regal leaves with Maxine. Belly to belly puts Curtis down and Watson is distracted by Regal leaving, allowing Curtis to roll him up for the pin at 8:13.
Hawkins and Reks talk to Maxine in the back who is minus Regal now. She talks to them and asks if they did that thing. Reks isn't sure what they she means but apparently Regal is going to be talking to them soon. She doesn't get Striker back until they know she didn't screw them over. Why does she want Striker back? They leave and Maxine pretends to cry when Bateman and Kaitlyn pop up. Maxine cries on Bateman's shoulder and asks for help with Reks/Hawkins. He says he'll do it because she's the worst thing that ever happened to him. He and Kaitlyn leave and Maxine smiles. This is a confusing story.
Tamina comes out of a dressing room and runs into Titus. She yells at him for leaving Young last week but Titus has a peace offering: a coconut tree. She seems legitimately pleased and kisses him on the cheek. Tamina walks off and runs into Young who doesn't seem happy with Titus giving her a gift. Young walks up to Titus and Titus says he was just proving he was better than Young again. Titus leaves and Young is mad.
Back to Kaitlyn and Bateman with the one with better legs saying that she misses the old days of NXT. Bateman disagrees but they hear screams from a closet. They open it up to find Striker bound and gagged holding Hawkins' cane. Bateman wants to get him to the doctor but Striker says he'll handle this. He leaves while Bateman and Kaitlyn shrug.
Raw ReBound is about Cena and Lesnar.
Regal comes up to Reks and Hawkins, saying he's underestimated them. He squeezes their necks and wants to know where Striker is. They don't know and Regal says if anything is wrong with Striker, there will be serious consequences. Regal leaves and they go to find Striker. They open the closet and find that he's gone. Are we supposed to believe that a guy that was kidnapped in whatever city has been in the same closet for a month now? Anyway Maxine comes with Curtis to laugh at them.
Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd
Regal is back on commentary and is all messed up still. We get a quick recap which is based around Kidd not being a Hart and this is the rubber match in the feud. Regal seems back into it once the bell rings. Kidd works on the arm to start and arm drags him to a stalemate. He keeps making McGillicutty miss by using his speed, including sliding between his legs to clothesline him to the floor. Kidd dives over the top but crotches himself on the ring skirt. McGillicutty sends him onto the announce table as we take a break.
Back with McGillicutty holding a chinlock as Regal talks about leopards. Kidd gets up quickly but a shot to the back of the head puts him right back down. As he did earlier, Kidd speeds things up and has better success. An armdrag puts McGillicutty down and then fires off the strikes. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A Sharpshooter is countered but Kidd comes back with a Blockbuster for two. I could go for seeing that move becoming someone's finisher again. Kidd kicks him in the head and tries his springboard cross body but Michael dropkicks him out of the air for two.
McGillicutter is countered into a backslide for two. Saito Suplex puts Kidd down and McGillicutty hooks a Sharpshooter on Kidd. Tyson makes the rope so McGillicutty tries the PerfectPlex, which should have been his finisher since the day he debuted. Kidd reverses it though and sets for the Sharpshooter. Instead of that though, he puts his foot above McGillicutty's shoulder and leans forward, wrapping his feet around Michael's head and pulling back on his arm as he leans back. It's like a triangle choke but with their legs intertwined and it gets the tap out at 9:24.
Results
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty Leg Trap Triangle Choke