klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Justin Gabriel is going to be out 6 weeks with an elbow injury.
Smackdown got a 1.8.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2012
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Tonight is the show after Wrestlemania and we basically start the new year in WWE. The Rock beat John Cena last night in a good match that didn't quite live up to its hype. Other than that, HHH couldn't break the Streak, which shouldn't surprise anyone. I'm not sure what comes next on this show, which is what makes tonight fun. Let's get to it.
We open with a state of the shows speech by Ace but Punk interrupts, saying that everyone knows that Ace is a giant tool box. Ace says that Punk is defending tonight against Mark Henry. This is the era of People Power according to the boss.
Theme song.
Here's Rock for the real opening. The fans chant his latest catchphrase for awhile to keep him from talking for awhile and he does the goosebumps thing. He talks about how he came back 14 months ago and they've done it all since then. It wasn't until last night that Rock stood before 70,000 people and won at Wrestlemania in Sun Life Stadium. Now he can truly say he's come back....home.
Rock explains the goosebumps thing again and says he has to thank Cena. The fans of course think he sucks because it's what they're programmed to do. Rock says it's an honor to have competed against Cena in the biggest match of all time, and all that matters is they made history for the fans. Rock thanks the people for being there for him last night and for always being behind him.
For some reason Rock talks about being cut from the Canadian Football League. “Do you realize how much you have to suck to be cut from the Canadian Football League????” He thanks the people for making him the people's champion and promises this is only the beginning. The fans chant Thank You Rocky and Rock talks about having a vision last night after partying in Miami. He shows off a bit of the dancing he did (drawing a whistle, apparently from a male Cena fan) and asks if the people want to hear his vision. The vision is that one day he'll be WWE Champion.
US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler
Basically it's a handicap match here as both guys corner him. Swagger gets him in the corner and Ziggler kicks him down. There are the sit-ups from Ziggler and Swagger rides him on the mat. Santino fights back with right hands and dumps Dolph to the floor (required great bump) but Swagger runs him over with a tackle as we take a break. Back with Santino in trouble again, more or less just like it's been all match so far.
Ziggy holds him but Santino gets in a boot and a Saito Suplex to Ziggler. He takes over on Jack and loads up the Cobra but Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to put him right back down. An assisted Fameasser gets two as Jack looks like he wants to make the save. Yep we're in triple threat formula territory now. Swagger suplexes Ziggler but the Vader Bomb eats knees. Ziggler dropkicks Swagger and walks into a slingshot. Cobra to Swagger keeps the title at 6:51.
Post match they go after him (after falling for the LOOK OVER THERE gag) and almost catch him on the stage, but Brodus freaking Clay comes out as backup for Santino. Ziggy charges at him but runs into the headbutt. Swagger won't jump him so Clay, the dancers and Santino have a little dance party. LOUD Funkasaurus chant during him staring down Swagger/Ziggler too. That's a really good sign.
Lord Tensai vs. Alex Riley
Tensai has some Japanese guy with him to throw salt. It's clearly Albert/A-Train even though all of his face other than his eyes is covered. Cole says it's known that he's a former WWE Superstar who went to Japan and dominated before coming back. I'm not sure if I like that or not but it's one way to go. He's in red trunks and arm bands and has Japanese symbols across his face diagonally. His face is uncovered now but we haven't heard his old name yet. Total domination with tons of elbow strikes and headbutts and Riley is out. Chokebomb ends this via referee stoppage at 2:46. Standard debuting monster squash.
Riley is almost up a few seconds later so Tensai throws on a claw post match. He spit something on his hand before putting the hold on. They never said A-Train or Albert.
We hear again about how Cena is going to call out Rock tonight for the fallout from last night. We've gotten two clips of him saying he had to win last night, so the question is how he'll react to it.
Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk
Punk gets overpowered to start but manages to get in some strikes. Those get him absolutely nowhere. Well, unless you count face down on the mat and getting pounded on somewhere of course. Either way, Henry dominates him with pure power. Punk's back is still hurt from the Jericho match last night. There's a bearhug but it never goes on fully, as Punk pounds away and DDTs out of it for two. Running knee to the head gets the same. Henry gets in another shot to the back and sets for a Vader Bomb, but Punk gets in a shot to break it up.
That doesn't really matter though as Henry drills him again and tries a second time. This time Punk moves and Henry crashes down. Henry manages to run him over though and we take a break. Back with Punk diving into a clothesline but getting caught by Henry. He knocks the champ down again and it's nerve hold time. Punk fights out of that and chops the tar out of Henry.
A high kick puts Henry down and a very slow climb sets up the Macho Elbow. It hurts Punk's back again but he manages the running knee in the corner. No bulldog though. Another knee looks to set up the bulldog but Henry throws Punk to the floor. That combo works about 2% of the time. In a very surprising ending, Punk doesn't beat the count back in and Henry wins by countout at 13:00.
Post match Henry gives him the World's Strongest Slam on the floor. The fans want Lesnar. Ace and Otunga come out to say that Punk is going to be defending the title on a much more consistent basis. Jericho pops up and says that it looks like Punk needs a drink. He pulls out a bottle of what looks like whiskey and pours it on Punk's head, ala Raven or Lawler/Roberts in 1996. Jericho slips on the booze in a funny bit. Jericho goes to get another bottle and breaks this one over Punk's head. Punk's hand shaking is a nice touch.
Here's Sheamus, but he's immediately cut off by the returning Alberto Del Rio in I believe a Lamborghini. Scratch that it's a Mercedes. Del Rio says he wouldn't lose in 18 seconds. Sheamus has a new challenger and his name is Alberto Del Rio, according to Ricardo in a great bit. The fans chant SI SI SI SI in another funny bit. The crowd has been great for the most part tonight. Ace has granted Del Rio a match on Smackdown with Sheamus and if he wins, he gets a future title match. Del Rio's mic goes out and he goes to get another, but turns around into the Brogue Kick. Cool ending to the segment.
Bryan and AJ were watching and Josh pops up. Bryan glares at Josh and that's that.
Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston
It's weird seeing Cody without the title. Kofi starts fast with a spinning cross body but he walks into the Disaster Kick. He sets for something else but here's Big Show with the title. Show has a clip of last night with Cody's Embarrassing Wrestlemania Moment. Ok that's pretty good. Cody walks into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 1:50.
More Cena and Rock clips with Cena talking about how he had to win.
Henry is ticked off in the back and Abraham Washington of all people comes in to say it's time for a change for Mark. Washington offers to manage him and leaves Mark with one of his cards.
Here's Eve who says that last night was her Wrestlemania moment. She manipulated Ryder and can manipulate any man, except the GM, Johnny Ace. People Power!
The Miz vs. Zack Ryder
Cena has just arrived apparently. Ryder takes Miz down with a forearm and pounds away. A sunset flip is rolled through for two for Ryder. He kicks Miz into the corner and is very aggressive here. Miz kicks him down and hooks a chinlock. That's broken quickly and Ryder gets two knees up to Miz's face. Cole compares Eve to Jane Eyre. For some reason I don't think there's a big crossover between Bronte fans and Raw fans, but I could be wrong. Broski Boot gets two. Miz throws Ryder'ss shoulder into the post and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the clean pin at 2:58.
Orton vs. Kane on Friday.
Here's Cena for the big callout. There's going to be a LONG overrun tonight as it's 10:58 when his music starts. Cena says that everyone in life faces defeat, which is paraphrased here but the real line was a Muhammad Ali quote. Cena says he didn't ever think he would lose. During the whole year it never crossed his mind because if you think that way you've already lost. A true champion believes he can win even through his most disappointing loss.
Cena says there was a lot of speculation as to how he'd react to this. Would he lash out? Would he make excuses? The fans chant that he's a loser. Cena says people have wondered if this was the day he finally lashed out at the WWE Universe. The fans chant YES YES YES in a good bit. Cena says that's not going to happen, drawing heat on the level that he got in the stadium last night. Cena is a man and he was beaten. He admits defeat and apologizes to his supporters. Cena thanks the rapper from last night and gets booed again.
Now let's address the rumors about calling Rock out. He's not going to do that because he doesn't want to fight Rock and they've called each other out for a year. The fans want Lesnar and Cena stops for them to chant it. He says that it's always an interesting crowd at Raw and he wants Rock. Cena invites him down to the ring to talk because he doesn't want to fight. John says he thinks Rock is the greatest in WWE history. Cena wants one more moment of celebration for Rock in the middle of the ring. The fans still want Lesnar. Cena starts a yes chant and says Bryan owes him one. No Rock yet.
LESNAR! HE'S BACK! He poses on the stage (with Cole sounding like he's calling a Superstars main event) and circles the ring before getting in. Cena applauds him and Lesnar picks him up for a HUGE F5. He kicks Cena's hat away and stands tall to end the show.
Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler – Cobra to Swagger
Lord Tensai b. Alex Riley via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via countout
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale
Tuesday
Chief Jay Strongbow passed away today.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: April 4, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
We're done with Wrestlemania now and NXT is still going. Tonight we're supposed to find out what happened to Striker as I think we'll get the list of demands from the kidnapper. I would complain about Striker being on the Wrestlemania pre-show doing commentary, but I don't think enough people know about the angle going on here anyway. Let's get to it.
Tyler Reks vs. Percy Watson
Reks and Regal have been having a Twitter war and Regal apologizes because it's been bullying on his part for how dominant he's been in it. Reks takes him to the mat but Watson wrestles out of it. A one footed dropkick sets up an armdrag to send Reks to the outside. We actually get a Percy Watson chant. Back inside Tyler pounds him down and stomps Watson in the corner.
Reks keeps him down with knees and chinlocks. This match is going by quickly but I can barely remember anything about it. I don't know what it is about Reks but he's very forgettable. Watson gets his feet up in the corner to stop Tyler's offense, allowing Josh to say that Percy is building momentum. Watson uses those good jumping abilities for some clotheslines but won't cover. It doesn't really matter though as he rolls up Reks out of a backdrop for the pin at 6:09.
Reks and Hawkins get ready to beat up Watson but Regal says cool it. If they attack Percy, they'll be suspended for six weeks.
McGillicutty comes up to Natalya in the back and says if he beats Bateman tonight, he gets a rematch with Kidd. He hits on her and Natalya cuts him off. This goes nowhere but at least there's no Natalya “comedy”.
Natalya vs. Kaitlyn
New music for Kaitlyn and Kidd is on commentary. Nattie takes her down and Kidd says there's nothing going on with them. Bridging rollup gets two for Natalya. I think Natalya is a face here but I really have no idea. Kidd admits that he isn't a Hart, which ticked him off when McGillicutty rubbed it in his face weeks ago. Natalya works on the arm and uses more holds on whatever part of the body she picks. Kaitlyn's first offense is a cross body but Natalya laughs it off and the Sharpshooter gets the submission at 3:30.
Young says he doesn't need Titus' help with Tamina. He's gotten her a coconut tree. Tamina and Alicia come up and Young hits on her with some really corny lines and she walks off. Young: “Tamina where you going? I've got reservations at McDonalds!” That's the first funny thing Young has said in almost three years.
Titus O'Neil/Darren Young vs. Usos
Young and Jimmy start things off with Young grabbing a headlock. Jimmy speeds things up and Young tags out. Titus kicks Jimmy's head off in a great looking shot. Back to Young for about two seconds before O'Neil comes back. They tag again and then a fourth time in the span of about fifteen seconds.
A fifth tag results in a belly to back suplex by Young for two, followed by a chinlock. Jimmy gets up and comes back with a powerslam and there's the tag to jey. Titus comes in as well and everything breaks down. O'Neil yells at Young and walks into the Samoan Drop and Jey hits the Superfly Splash (cross body according to Josh) for the pin at 4:20.
Raw ReBound is all about Lesnar's return.
Bateman and Percy tell Kaitlyn they still think she's awesome. Maxine pops up on her phone shouting about needing something. She's eating a doughnut when Curtis comes up. Everyone else leaves and Curtis says he's got a message from the kidnappers, saying meet us in the basement. Bateman is still there apparently and says this is getting weird. Curtis: “That's my line.” Bateman: “That was my fiance.” Maxine and Curtis leave when Kidd comes up to talk to Bateman. He wants Bateman to be ready for his match tonight. Not much to say by Kidd but I'm liking these rapid fire backstage scenes.
Curtis and Maxine are in the basement/boiler room when Reks and Hawkins pop up and Reks chokes out Curtis. Hawkins: “Reks and I are the kidnappers.” They did this to get Regal off their backs and they'll frame Maxine/Curtis if they don't get Regal off Hawkins/Reks' backs. They leave and Curtis says it gets real weird next week. Dang it they had a good story going and they use it on the same people AGAIN.
Derrick Bateman vs. Michael McGillicutty
They exchange chops to start and then they exchange harder chops. Regal talks about Maxine's mother coming up to accuse him of having an affair with Maxine at Wrestlemania. There's no followup there. It just happened apparently. Bateman sends him to the floor and hits a flip dive from the apron to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bateman still in control.
McGillicutty gets in a knee to the ribs and takes over. Off to a chinlock which Derrick breaks, only to be sent into the ropes again. Dropkick gets two. We get the sequel to the chinlock but Bateman breaks it up again. A Russian legsweep sends the back of Michael's head into the middle buckle and both guys are dazed. Now Bateman goes after the knee and hits a move that I don't think would really hurt.
He gets McGillicutty in a DDT position but shoved McGillicutty forward. I think it was supposed to slam Michael's head into the mat but it didn't come close. There wasn't a cover so it doesn't matter but it was really different. Bateman hits the flipping neckbreaker that Morrison used to use for two. He really likes those falling forward moves. Derrick goes up but misses a top rope crossbody. McGillicutty tries a Sharpshooter but Bateman breaks it up. It doesn't really matte though as the McGillicutter gets the pin at 8:30, earning McGillicutty a rematch with Kidd.
Results
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Rollup
Natalya b. Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter
Usos b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Superfly Splash to O'Neil
Michael McGillicutty b. Derrick Bateman – McGillicutter
Thursday
Spike has a new multi-year deal with TNA.
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what's coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren't any spoilers coming in this week. It's kind of a nice change of pace and I'm curious to see what happens when I don't know what to expect. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.
The roster is around ringside and here's Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There's going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let's talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there's a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.
Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he's not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here's Roode who says he's right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he's out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it's what the people want. As for Angle, he won't be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he's wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!
Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle
Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There's a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff's left arm.
Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There's the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it's avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.
Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.
Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.
Ray is trending apparently and says he'll be the next world champion. He's going to take care of Aries next.
Ray is in the ring and says he's eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here's the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.
Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.
AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they're stacking this show enough?
Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky
I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it's off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.
Anderson says he'll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.
Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.
Off to Eric Young's bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic porn and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.
James Storm vs. AJ Styles
Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don't remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ's head off for the pin at 6:38.
Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.
Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.
Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.
Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America
Here's their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it's back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley's tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.
Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.
Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn't a leader. Hogan isn't a leader of men like Eric is.
Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he's captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric's team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett's team wins, Eric is gone....and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean....it's his name.
Video on Storm training.
Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode
Unless there's an overrun which there hasn't been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We're told that next week there's a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.
Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman's suplex is countered as is Anderson's neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman's carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old's hands and the bottle goes across Anderson's head for the pin at 4:11.
Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn't seem to care.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle
Friday
There's going to be another three hour Raw in June.
Impact got a 1.1, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
It's the first show of the new year on Fridays and we have a new boss. Tonight we have Sheamus vs. Del Rio where if Del Rio wins he gets a title match at some later date. It should be interesting to see where Bryan goes after this as he'll certainly get a rematch somewhere. It's always interesting to see where things go immediately after Mania, so let's get to it.
We open with Otunga introducing Johnny Ace to trumpet fanfare. David is wearing what can only be described as a suit jacket over his shoulders that would be big on Viscera. Ace talks about how he's going to bring charisma and leadership to this show as it's never been done before. This is a new era of people power. Ace hopes Teddy will be professional during this transition. He asks Teddy to come out and is almost immediately cut off in his smug speech. Teddy says he can tell Ace what he really thinks of him now that he's out of a job.
He was told it would be crazy to come to Smackdown tonight but he couldn't just leave the job without thanking the fans. He's had a great job being the GM and he'd like a holla holla holla before he leaves. Teddy goes to leave but Ace says hang on a second. He offers Teddy a job in the new administration but Teddy turns it down.
Ace reminds him of his grandchildren who need to go to college. Otunga points out that somehow Ace controls the college fund the company set up for Long's grandchildren, so Teddy reluctantly takes the job of Ace's lackey. Oh wait first he also have to say that Ace is better than him or it doesn't happen. Teddy says it but Ace wants to hear it once more, with feeling. No word on what the job is yet but it likely won't be good for him. Teddy leaves and Ace announces Kane vs. Orton in a No DQ match, but first we have this.
Mark Henry/David Otunga vs. R-Truth
Apparently Booker has to be in Connecticut for a closed door meeting next week with the WWE bosses. Otunga starts and is quickly taken down by a clothesline for two. Lie Detector gets two. Henry comes in who kicks Truth down with a big boot. Abraham Washington is watching in the back. Truth avoids a charge in the corner and hits a side kick, but the World's Strongest Slam kills him so that Otunga can get the pin at 2:03.
With all three of them still in the ring, here's Kane. I guess they're just cutting down the time between matches because he doesn't do anything to any of them.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
This is a No DQ match. Kane knocks him to the floor very quickly but Orton rams him into the barricade. Kane sees Orton's barricade and raises him a table to take over. Orton throws him over the table and then into the steps. This is a total brawl so far. Kane punches him up the ramp and they slug it out on the stage. Orton almost knocks Kane off the stage but Kane grabs him by the throat. Randy fights out of that and tries the RKO but Kane DDTs him as we take a break.
Back with them in the ring and Kane taking off the turnbuckle pad. Clothesline gets two for Kane. Orton breaks up the top rope clothesline and dropkicks Kane down. Powerslam looks to set up the RKO but Kane bails to the floor. He pulls Randy to the floor and they slug it out even more. Kane gets dropped on the barricade and a clothesline knocks him over into the time keeper's area.
Orton tries the elevated DDT on the floor but Kane fights out of it and big boots Orton down. Kane goes under the ring and throws five chairs into the ring. As he comes back in though Orton kicks him in the face and pops him with the chair a few times. The Elevated DDT onto the chair gets two. Kane picks up the chair and goes off on Randy with it but can only get two. Here comes the chokeslam but Orton shoves him into the exposed buckle and the RKO finishes at 10:20 shown of 13:50.
We get a package of stills from Bryan vs. Sheamus. You know, to make sure no one sees the full version of it.
We get a clip from Raw with Del Rio and Sheamus.
Jobber Barry Stevens gets to talk while the lower card watches in the back for some reason. He thinks the people in Orlando are rude.
Ryback vs. Barry Stevens
Ryback is more famous as Skip Sheffield and is acknowledged as being on the first season of NXT but his name isn't given. I'm assuming the roster was watching for Ryback. Total squash with a kind of delayed fisherman's brainbuster getting the pin at 1:08. It looked kind of like a MuscleBuster but more like a suplex than dropping him on the back of his head.
Here are Bryan and AJ to talk about Sunday. Bryan says he's had a chance to think since Sunday...and he tails off. AJ takes the mic and says that Bryan is a great wrestler and a great person. She's not the only one that thinks that, drawing a loud YES chant. She talks about the YES signs and chants at Mania and Raw, even when Bryan wasn't in the ring, which causes a Daniel Bryan chant. Everyone is here to support him.
Bryan doesn't think that it's support, but rather mocking. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” These people are sheep and they don't make it any better, because AJ cost him the title. He screams at her about how he beat giants in the cage and how he won the Chamber but AJ just had to have her kiss and cost him the title. It was really the kiss of death.
AJ tries to defend herself but Bryan says she won't make him the bad guy because it's her fault. It was her clinginess and selfishness that cost Bryan everything. That'll never happen again because they're through. He tells her to go sit in her SUV and eat a cheeseburger. Dang those are some serious words. She begs him to talk about this but he dumps her anyway and throws her out of his ring. The fans give her the Goodbye Song.
Big Show vs. Heath Slater
Cody is on commentary. Before the match Show airs the same video from Raw with Cody getting knocked out. Show chops him a lot and throws him around as Cody says he isn't sure what went wrong on Sunday. Show tackles him and the chokeslam ends this at 1:14.
Cody almost goes in to fight Big Show but changes his mind. Show knocks out Slater with the WMD.
We get the Punk/Jericho segment from Raw with the alcohol.
The Bellas are in the back with Ace when Sheamus comes in. This is his first appearance as champion: a backstage segment. The referee has been told to bring Alberto and Sheamus face to face tonight so Sheamus can't kick him in the face. Sheamus says ok and only those that deserve it will get a surprise kick. He talks about his cousin who was a bully and how he was in charge until the people rebelled against him. Subtle.
Beth Phoenix vs. Nikki Bella
Kelly comes out for no apparent reason. Total dominance until Kelly comes to the apron for no apparent reason. She distracts Beth who then charges shoulder first into the post, letting Nikki hit an X Factor for the pin at 59 seconds. This enhanced the show so much for me.
Video on Chief Jay Strongbow who passed away earlier this week.
We get a video on newcomer Damien Sandow, who talks about how real entertainment is a lost art. Instead of listening to Mozart or reading Shakespeare, we now watch Jersey Shore and Real Housewives. He doesn't blame the people for it, but he will save you from it. Sandow is Idol Stevens from OVW and went by Sandow in FCW.
We get some videos of Cena before Mania, talking about how he has to win. This is followed up by Lesnar's return and the F5. Once again Cole screws up the return as he sounds like he's calling a Superstars comeback.
The Three Stooges cast will be guest starring on Raw. I really hope that doesn't hurt the hot streak WWE has been on.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
If Alberto wins, he gets a future title shot. We have about 15 minutes of airtime left and this is the first live appearance of Sheamus. That goes a long way in telling you where he stands in the company's eyes. There's a break between the entrances and Tuesday will be a live Blast From The Past Smackdown. That should be fun. Josh talks about a WWE Magazine article about what Del Rio's trunks signify. Booker: “They mean he has money. Don't overcomplicate things.”
Del Rio tries to go after the arm but Sheamus comes back with the Finlay fireman's carry roll which I can't think of the name of. Josh says this is for the title and that isn't disputed by either other commentator, but I'm pretty sure it's not on the line here. Alberto works on the arm but the Armbreaker is broken up and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick which is ducked. Del Rio heads to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Sheamus getting two off the slingshot shoulder. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest but Del Rio escapes and a running enziguri puts Sheamus on the floor. He rams Sheamus' shoulder into the steps and hooks an arm hold back inside. Sheamus tries a neckbreaker but Del Rio escapes and goes back to the arm.
Alberto charges into the Irish Curse and both guys are down. Sheamus destroys him with power moves and calls for the Brogue Kick but Ricardo pops up for a distraction. Del Rio brings in a chair but Sheamus takes it away. The referee sees him holding it and calls for a DQ at 7:39 shown of 11:09. Sheamus didn't use the chair.
Sheamus kicks the referee to end the show. Nice guy.
Results
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. R-Truth – Otunga pinned R-Truth after a World's Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO
Ryback b. Barry Stevens – Delayed Fisherman's Brainbuster
Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Facejam
Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus was seen holding a chair
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Raw
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler – Cobra to Swagger
Lord Tensai b. Alex Riley via referee stoppage
\Mark Henry b. CM Punk via countout
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale
NXT
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Rollup
Natalya b. Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter
Usos b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Superfly Splash to O'Neil
Michael McGillicutty b. Derrick Bateman – McGillicutter
Impact Wrestling
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle
Smackdown
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. R-Truth – Otunga pinned R-Truth after a World's Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO
Ryback b. Barry Stevens – Delayed Fisherman's Brainbuster
Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Facejam
Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus was seen holding a chair
Justin Gabriel is going to be out 6 weeks with an elbow injury.
Smackdown got a 1.8.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2012
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Tonight is the show after Wrestlemania and we basically start the new year in WWE. The Rock beat John Cena last night in a good match that didn't quite live up to its hype. Other than that, HHH couldn't break the Streak, which shouldn't surprise anyone. I'm not sure what comes next on this show, which is what makes tonight fun. Let's get to it.
We open with a state of the shows speech by Ace but Punk interrupts, saying that everyone knows that Ace is a giant tool box. Ace says that Punk is defending tonight against Mark Henry. This is the era of People Power according to the boss.
Theme song.
Here's Rock for the real opening. The fans chant his latest catchphrase for awhile to keep him from talking for awhile and he does the goosebumps thing. He talks about how he came back 14 months ago and they've done it all since then. It wasn't until last night that Rock stood before 70,000 people and won at Wrestlemania in Sun Life Stadium. Now he can truly say he's come back....home.
Rock explains the goosebumps thing again and says he has to thank Cena. The fans of course think he sucks because it's what they're programmed to do. Rock says it's an honor to have competed against Cena in the biggest match of all time, and all that matters is they made history for the fans. Rock thanks the people for being there for him last night and for always being behind him.
For some reason Rock talks about being cut from the Canadian Football League. “Do you realize how much you have to suck to be cut from the Canadian Football League????” He thanks the people for making him the people's champion and promises this is only the beginning. The fans chant Thank You Rocky and Rock talks about having a vision last night after partying in Miami. He shows off a bit of the dancing he did (drawing a whistle, apparently from a male Cena fan) and asks if the people want to hear his vision. The vision is that one day he'll be WWE Champion.
US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler
Basically it's a handicap match here as both guys corner him. Swagger gets him in the corner and Ziggler kicks him down. There are the sit-ups from Ziggler and Swagger rides him on the mat. Santino fights back with right hands and dumps Dolph to the floor (required great bump) but Swagger runs him over with a tackle as we take a break. Back with Santino in trouble again, more or less just like it's been all match so far.
Ziggy holds him but Santino gets in a boot and a Saito Suplex to Ziggler. He takes over on Jack and loads up the Cobra but Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to put him right back down. An assisted Fameasser gets two as Jack looks like he wants to make the save. Yep we're in triple threat formula territory now. Swagger suplexes Ziggler but the Vader Bomb eats knees. Ziggler dropkicks Swagger and walks into a slingshot. Cobra to Swagger keeps the title at 6:51.
Post match they go after him (after falling for the LOOK OVER THERE gag) and almost catch him on the stage, but Brodus freaking Clay comes out as backup for Santino. Ziggy charges at him but runs into the headbutt. Swagger won't jump him so Clay, the dancers and Santino have a little dance party. LOUD Funkasaurus chant during him staring down Swagger/Ziggler too. That's a really good sign.
Lord Tensai vs. Alex Riley
Tensai has some Japanese guy with him to throw salt. It's clearly Albert/A-Train even though all of his face other than his eyes is covered. Cole says it's known that he's a former WWE Superstar who went to Japan and dominated before coming back. I'm not sure if I like that or not but it's one way to go. He's in red trunks and arm bands and has Japanese symbols across his face diagonally. His face is uncovered now but we haven't heard his old name yet. Total domination with tons of elbow strikes and headbutts and Riley is out. Chokebomb ends this via referee stoppage at 2:46. Standard debuting monster squash.
Riley is almost up a few seconds later so Tensai throws on a claw post match. He spit something on his hand before putting the hold on. They never said A-Train or Albert.
We hear again about how Cena is going to call out Rock tonight for the fallout from last night. We've gotten two clips of him saying he had to win last night, so the question is how he'll react to it.
Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk
Punk gets overpowered to start but manages to get in some strikes. Those get him absolutely nowhere. Well, unless you count face down on the mat and getting pounded on somewhere of course. Either way, Henry dominates him with pure power. Punk's back is still hurt from the Jericho match last night. There's a bearhug but it never goes on fully, as Punk pounds away and DDTs out of it for two. Running knee to the head gets the same. Henry gets in another shot to the back and sets for a Vader Bomb, but Punk gets in a shot to break it up.
That doesn't really matter though as Henry drills him again and tries a second time. This time Punk moves and Henry crashes down. Henry manages to run him over though and we take a break. Back with Punk diving into a clothesline but getting caught by Henry. He knocks the champ down again and it's nerve hold time. Punk fights out of that and chops the tar out of Henry.
A high kick puts Henry down and a very slow climb sets up the Macho Elbow. It hurts Punk's back again but he manages the running knee in the corner. No bulldog though. Another knee looks to set up the bulldog but Henry throws Punk to the floor. That combo works about 2% of the time. In a very surprising ending, Punk doesn't beat the count back in and Henry wins by countout at 13:00.
Post match Henry gives him the World's Strongest Slam on the floor. The fans want Lesnar. Ace and Otunga come out to say that Punk is going to be defending the title on a much more consistent basis. Jericho pops up and says that it looks like Punk needs a drink. He pulls out a bottle of what looks like whiskey and pours it on Punk's head, ala Raven or Lawler/Roberts in 1996. Jericho slips on the booze in a funny bit. Jericho goes to get another bottle and breaks this one over Punk's head. Punk's hand shaking is a nice touch.
Here's Sheamus, but he's immediately cut off by the returning Alberto Del Rio in I believe a Lamborghini. Scratch that it's a Mercedes. Del Rio says he wouldn't lose in 18 seconds. Sheamus has a new challenger and his name is Alberto Del Rio, according to Ricardo in a great bit. The fans chant SI SI SI SI in another funny bit. The crowd has been great for the most part tonight. Ace has granted Del Rio a match on Smackdown with Sheamus and if he wins, he gets a future title match. Del Rio's mic goes out and he goes to get another, but turns around into the Brogue Kick. Cool ending to the segment.
Bryan and AJ were watching and Josh pops up. Bryan glares at Josh and that's that.
Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston
It's weird seeing Cody without the title. Kofi starts fast with a spinning cross body but he walks into the Disaster Kick. He sets for something else but here's Big Show with the title. Show has a clip of last night with Cody's Embarrassing Wrestlemania Moment. Ok that's pretty good. Cody walks into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 1:50.
More Cena and Rock clips with Cena talking about how he had to win.
Henry is ticked off in the back and Abraham Washington of all people comes in to say it's time for a change for Mark. Washington offers to manage him and leaves Mark with one of his cards.
Here's Eve who says that last night was her Wrestlemania moment. She manipulated Ryder and can manipulate any man, except the GM, Johnny Ace. People Power!
The Miz vs. Zack Ryder
Cena has just arrived apparently. Ryder takes Miz down with a forearm and pounds away. A sunset flip is rolled through for two for Ryder. He kicks Miz into the corner and is very aggressive here. Miz kicks him down and hooks a chinlock. That's broken quickly and Ryder gets two knees up to Miz's face. Cole compares Eve to Jane Eyre. For some reason I don't think there's a big crossover between Bronte fans and Raw fans, but I could be wrong. Broski Boot gets two. Miz throws Ryder'ss shoulder into the post and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the clean pin at 2:58.
Orton vs. Kane on Friday.
Here's Cena for the big callout. There's going to be a LONG overrun tonight as it's 10:58 when his music starts. Cena says that everyone in life faces defeat, which is paraphrased here but the real line was a Muhammad Ali quote. Cena says he didn't ever think he would lose. During the whole year it never crossed his mind because if you think that way you've already lost. A true champion believes he can win even through his most disappointing loss.
Cena says there was a lot of speculation as to how he'd react to this. Would he lash out? Would he make excuses? The fans chant that he's a loser. Cena says people have wondered if this was the day he finally lashed out at the WWE Universe. The fans chant YES YES YES in a good bit. Cena says that's not going to happen, drawing heat on the level that he got in the stadium last night. Cena is a man and he was beaten. He admits defeat and apologizes to his supporters. Cena thanks the rapper from last night and gets booed again.
Now let's address the rumors about calling Rock out. He's not going to do that because he doesn't want to fight Rock and they've called each other out for a year. The fans want Lesnar and Cena stops for them to chant it. He says that it's always an interesting crowd at Raw and he wants Rock. Cena invites him down to the ring to talk because he doesn't want to fight. John says he thinks Rock is the greatest in WWE history. Cena wants one more moment of celebration for Rock in the middle of the ring. The fans still want Lesnar. Cena starts a yes chant and says Bryan owes him one. No Rock yet.
LESNAR! HE'S BACK! He poses on the stage (with Cole sounding like he's calling a Superstars main event) and circles the ring before getting in. Cena applauds him and Lesnar picks him up for a HUGE F5. He kicks Cena's hat away and stands tall to end the show.
Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler – Cobra to Swagger
Lord Tensai b. Alex Riley via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via countout
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale
Tuesday
Chief Jay Strongbow passed away today.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: April 4, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
We're done with Wrestlemania now and NXT is still going. Tonight we're supposed to find out what happened to Striker as I think we'll get the list of demands from the kidnapper. I would complain about Striker being on the Wrestlemania pre-show doing commentary, but I don't think enough people know about the angle going on here anyway. Let's get to it.
Tyler Reks vs. Percy Watson
Reks and Regal have been having a Twitter war and Regal apologizes because it's been bullying on his part for how dominant he's been in it. Reks takes him to the mat but Watson wrestles out of it. A one footed dropkick sets up an armdrag to send Reks to the outside. We actually get a Percy Watson chant. Back inside Tyler pounds him down and stomps Watson in the corner.
Reks keeps him down with knees and chinlocks. This match is going by quickly but I can barely remember anything about it. I don't know what it is about Reks but he's very forgettable. Watson gets his feet up in the corner to stop Tyler's offense, allowing Josh to say that Percy is building momentum. Watson uses those good jumping abilities for some clotheslines but won't cover. It doesn't really matter though as he rolls up Reks out of a backdrop for the pin at 6:09.
Reks and Hawkins get ready to beat up Watson but Regal says cool it. If they attack Percy, they'll be suspended for six weeks.
McGillicutty comes up to Natalya in the back and says if he beats Bateman tonight, he gets a rematch with Kidd. He hits on her and Natalya cuts him off. This goes nowhere but at least there's no Natalya “comedy”.
Natalya vs. Kaitlyn
New music for Kaitlyn and Kidd is on commentary. Nattie takes her down and Kidd says there's nothing going on with them. Bridging rollup gets two for Natalya. I think Natalya is a face here but I really have no idea. Kidd admits that he isn't a Hart, which ticked him off when McGillicutty rubbed it in his face weeks ago. Natalya works on the arm and uses more holds on whatever part of the body she picks. Kaitlyn's first offense is a cross body but Natalya laughs it off and the Sharpshooter gets the submission at 3:30.
Young says he doesn't need Titus' help with Tamina. He's gotten her a coconut tree. Tamina and Alicia come up and Young hits on her with some really corny lines and she walks off. Young: “Tamina where you going? I've got reservations at McDonalds!” That's the first funny thing Young has said in almost three years.
Titus O'Neil/Darren Young vs. Usos
Young and Jimmy start things off with Young grabbing a headlock. Jimmy speeds things up and Young tags out. Titus kicks Jimmy's head off in a great looking shot. Back to Young for about two seconds before O'Neil comes back. They tag again and then a fourth time in the span of about fifteen seconds.
A fifth tag results in a belly to back suplex by Young for two, followed by a chinlock. Jimmy gets up and comes back with a powerslam and there's the tag to jey. Titus comes in as well and everything breaks down. O'Neil yells at Young and walks into the Samoan Drop and Jey hits the Superfly Splash (cross body according to Josh) for the pin at 4:20.
Raw ReBound is all about Lesnar's return.
Bateman and Percy tell Kaitlyn they still think she's awesome. Maxine pops up on her phone shouting about needing something. She's eating a doughnut when Curtis comes up. Everyone else leaves and Curtis says he's got a message from the kidnappers, saying meet us in the basement. Bateman is still there apparently and says this is getting weird. Curtis: “That's my line.” Bateman: “That was my fiance.” Maxine and Curtis leave when Kidd comes up to talk to Bateman. He wants Bateman to be ready for his match tonight. Not much to say by Kidd but I'm liking these rapid fire backstage scenes.
Curtis and Maxine are in the basement/boiler room when Reks and Hawkins pop up and Reks chokes out Curtis. Hawkins: “Reks and I are the kidnappers.” They did this to get Regal off their backs and they'll frame Maxine/Curtis if they don't get Regal off Hawkins/Reks' backs. They leave and Curtis says it gets real weird next week. Dang it they had a good story going and they use it on the same people AGAIN.
Derrick Bateman vs. Michael McGillicutty
They exchange chops to start and then they exchange harder chops. Regal talks about Maxine's mother coming up to accuse him of having an affair with Maxine at Wrestlemania. There's no followup there. It just happened apparently. Bateman sends him to the floor and hits a flip dive from the apron to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bateman still in control.
McGillicutty gets in a knee to the ribs and takes over. Off to a chinlock which Derrick breaks, only to be sent into the ropes again. Dropkick gets two. We get the sequel to the chinlock but Bateman breaks it up again. A Russian legsweep sends the back of Michael's head into the middle buckle and both guys are dazed. Now Bateman goes after the knee and hits a move that I don't think would really hurt.
He gets McGillicutty in a DDT position but shoved McGillicutty forward. I think it was supposed to slam Michael's head into the mat but it didn't come close. There wasn't a cover so it doesn't matter but it was really different. Bateman hits the flipping neckbreaker that Morrison used to use for two. He really likes those falling forward moves. Derrick goes up but misses a top rope crossbody. McGillicutty tries a Sharpshooter but Bateman breaks it up. It doesn't really matte though as the McGillicutter gets the pin at 8:30, earning McGillicutty a rematch with Kidd.
Results
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Rollup
Natalya b. Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter
Usos b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Superfly Splash to O'Neil
Michael McGillicutty b. Derrick Bateman – McGillicutter
Thursday
Spike has a new multi-year deal with TNA.
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what's coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren't any spoilers coming in this week. It's kind of a nice change of pace and I'm curious to see what happens when I don't know what to expect. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.
The roster is around ringside and here's Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There's going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let's talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there's a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.
Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he's not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here's Roode who says he's right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he's out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it's what the people want. As for Angle, he won't be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he's wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!
Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle
Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There's a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff's left arm.
Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There's the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it's avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.
Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.
Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.
Ray is trending apparently and says he'll be the next world champion. He's going to take care of Aries next.
Ray is in the ring and says he's eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here's the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.
Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.
AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they're stacking this show enough?
Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky
I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it's off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.
Anderson says he'll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.
Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.
Off to Eric Young's bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic porn and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.
James Storm vs. AJ Styles
Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don't remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ's head off for the pin at 6:38.
Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.
Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.
Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.
Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America
Here's their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it's back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley's tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.
Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.
Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn't a leader. Hogan isn't a leader of men like Eric is.
Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he's captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric's team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett's team wins, Eric is gone....and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean....it's his name.
Video on Storm training.
Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode
Unless there's an overrun which there hasn't been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We're told that next week there's a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.
Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman's suplex is countered as is Anderson's neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman's carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old's hands and the bottle goes across Anderson's head for the pin at 4:11.
Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn't seem to care.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle
Friday
There's going to be another three hour Raw in June.
Impact got a 1.1, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
It's the first show of the new year on Fridays and we have a new boss. Tonight we have Sheamus vs. Del Rio where if Del Rio wins he gets a title match at some later date. It should be interesting to see where Bryan goes after this as he'll certainly get a rematch somewhere. It's always interesting to see where things go immediately after Mania, so let's get to it.
We open with Otunga introducing Johnny Ace to trumpet fanfare. David is wearing what can only be described as a suit jacket over his shoulders that would be big on Viscera. Ace talks about how he's going to bring charisma and leadership to this show as it's never been done before. This is a new era of people power. Ace hopes Teddy will be professional during this transition. He asks Teddy to come out and is almost immediately cut off in his smug speech. Teddy says he can tell Ace what he really thinks of him now that he's out of a job.
He was told it would be crazy to come to Smackdown tonight but he couldn't just leave the job without thanking the fans. He's had a great job being the GM and he'd like a holla holla holla before he leaves. Teddy goes to leave but Ace says hang on a second. He offers Teddy a job in the new administration but Teddy turns it down.
Ace reminds him of his grandchildren who need to go to college. Otunga points out that somehow Ace controls the college fund the company set up for Long's grandchildren, so Teddy reluctantly takes the job of Ace's lackey. Oh wait first he also have to say that Ace is better than him or it doesn't happen. Teddy says it but Ace wants to hear it once more, with feeling. No word on what the job is yet but it likely won't be good for him. Teddy leaves and Ace announces Kane vs. Orton in a No DQ match, but first we have this.
Mark Henry/David Otunga vs. R-Truth
Apparently Booker has to be in Connecticut for a closed door meeting next week with the WWE bosses. Otunga starts and is quickly taken down by a clothesline for two. Lie Detector gets two. Henry comes in who kicks Truth down with a big boot. Abraham Washington is watching in the back. Truth avoids a charge in the corner and hits a side kick, but the World's Strongest Slam kills him so that Otunga can get the pin at 2:03.
With all three of them still in the ring, here's Kane. I guess they're just cutting down the time between matches because he doesn't do anything to any of them.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
This is a No DQ match. Kane knocks him to the floor very quickly but Orton rams him into the barricade. Kane sees Orton's barricade and raises him a table to take over. Orton throws him over the table and then into the steps. This is a total brawl so far. Kane punches him up the ramp and they slug it out on the stage. Orton almost knocks Kane off the stage but Kane grabs him by the throat. Randy fights out of that and tries the RKO but Kane DDTs him as we take a break.
Back with them in the ring and Kane taking off the turnbuckle pad. Clothesline gets two for Kane. Orton breaks up the top rope clothesline and dropkicks Kane down. Powerslam looks to set up the RKO but Kane bails to the floor. He pulls Randy to the floor and they slug it out even more. Kane gets dropped on the barricade and a clothesline knocks him over into the time keeper's area.
Orton tries the elevated DDT on the floor but Kane fights out of it and big boots Orton down. Kane goes under the ring and throws five chairs into the ring. As he comes back in though Orton kicks him in the face and pops him with the chair a few times. The Elevated DDT onto the chair gets two. Kane picks up the chair and goes off on Randy with it but can only get two. Here comes the chokeslam but Orton shoves him into the exposed buckle and the RKO finishes at 10:20 shown of 13:50.
We get a package of stills from Bryan vs. Sheamus. You know, to make sure no one sees the full version of it.
We get a clip from Raw with Del Rio and Sheamus.
Jobber Barry Stevens gets to talk while the lower card watches in the back for some reason. He thinks the people in Orlando are rude.
Ryback vs. Barry Stevens
Ryback is more famous as Skip Sheffield and is acknowledged as being on the first season of NXT but his name isn't given. I'm assuming the roster was watching for Ryback. Total squash with a kind of delayed fisherman's brainbuster getting the pin at 1:08. It looked kind of like a MuscleBuster but more like a suplex than dropping him on the back of his head.
Here are Bryan and AJ to talk about Sunday. Bryan says he's had a chance to think since Sunday...and he tails off. AJ takes the mic and says that Bryan is a great wrestler and a great person. She's not the only one that thinks that, drawing a loud YES chant. She talks about the YES signs and chants at Mania and Raw, even when Bryan wasn't in the ring, which causes a Daniel Bryan chant. Everyone is here to support him.
Bryan doesn't think that it's support, but rather mocking. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” These people are sheep and they don't make it any better, because AJ cost him the title. He screams at her about how he beat giants in the cage and how he won the Chamber but AJ just had to have her kiss and cost him the title. It was really the kiss of death.
AJ tries to defend herself but Bryan says she won't make him the bad guy because it's her fault. It was her clinginess and selfishness that cost Bryan everything. That'll never happen again because they're through. He tells her to go sit in her SUV and eat a cheeseburger. Dang those are some serious words. She begs him to talk about this but he dumps her anyway and throws her out of his ring. The fans give her the Goodbye Song.
Big Show vs. Heath Slater
Cody is on commentary. Before the match Show airs the same video from Raw with Cody getting knocked out. Show chops him a lot and throws him around as Cody says he isn't sure what went wrong on Sunday. Show tackles him and the chokeslam ends this at 1:14.
Cody almost goes in to fight Big Show but changes his mind. Show knocks out Slater with the WMD.
We get the Punk/Jericho segment from Raw with the alcohol.
The Bellas are in the back with Ace when Sheamus comes in. This is his first appearance as champion: a backstage segment. The referee has been told to bring Alberto and Sheamus face to face tonight so Sheamus can't kick him in the face. Sheamus says ok and only those that deserve it will get a surprise kick. He talks about his cousin who was a bully and how he was in charge until the people rebelled against him. Subtle.
Beth Phoenix vs. Nikki Bella
Kelly comes out for no apparent reason. Total dominance until Kelly comes to the apron for no apparent reason. She distracts Beth who then charges shoulder first into the post, letting Nikki hit an X Factor for the pin at 59 seconds. This enhanced the show so much for me.
Video on Chief Jay Strongbow who passed away earlier this week.
We get a video on newcomer Damien Sandow, who talks about how real entertainment is a lost art. Instead of listening to Mozart or reading Shakespeare, we now watch Jersey Shore and Real Housewives. He doesn't blame the people for it, but he will save you from it. Sandow is Idol Stevens from OVW and went by Sandow in FCW.
We get some videos of Cena before Mania, talking about how he has to win. This is followed up by Lesnar's return and the F5. Once again Cole screws up the return as he sounds like he's calling a Superstars comeback.
The Three Stooges cast will be guest starring on Raw. I really hope that doesn't hurt the hot streak WWE has been on.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
If Alberto wins, he gets a future title shot. We have about 15 minutes of airtime left and this is the first live appearance of Sheamus. That goes a long way in telling you where he stands in the company's eyes. There's a break between the entrances and Tuesday will be a live Blast From The Past Smackdown. That should be fun. Josh talks about a WWE Magazine article about what Del Rio's trunks signify. Booker: “They mean he has money. Don't overcomplicate things.”
Del Rio tries to go after the arm but Sheamus comes back with the Finlay fireman's carry roll which I can't think of the name of. Josh says this is for the title and that isn't disputed by either other commentator, but I'm pretty sure it's not on the line here. Alberto works on the arm but the Armbreaker is broken up and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick which is ducked. Del Rio heads to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Sheamus getting two off the slingshot shoulder. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest but Del Rio escapes and a running enziguri puts Sheamus on the floor. He rams Sheamus' shoulder into the steps and hooks an arm hold back inside. Sheamus tries a neckbreaker but Del Rio escapes and goes back to the arm.
Alberto charges into the Irish Curse and both guys are down. Sheamus destroys him with power moves and calls for the Brogue Kick but Ricardo pops up for a distraction. Del Rio brings in a chair but Sheamus takes it away. The referee sees him holding it and calls for a DQ at 7:39 shown of 11:09. Sheamus didn't use the chair.
Sheamus kicks the referee to end the show. Nice guy.
Results
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. R-Truth – Otunga pinned R-Truth after a World's Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO
Ryback b. Barry Stevens – Delayed Fisherman's Brainbuster
Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Facejam
Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus was seen holding a chair
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Raw
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler – Cobra to Swagger
Lord Tensai b. Alex Riley via referee stoppage
\Mark Henry b. CM Punk via countout
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale
NXT
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Rollup
Natalya b. Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter
Usos b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Superfly Splash to O'Neil
Michael McGillicutty b. Derrick Bateman – McGillicutter
Impact Wrestling
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle
Smackdown
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. R-Truth – Otunga pinned R-Truth after a World's Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO
Ryback b. Barry Stevens – Delayed Fisherman's Brainbuster
Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Facejam
Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus was seen holding a chair