klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 2.0, down a bit but still solid.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,744
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
After last weeks wrestling light show tonight were supposed to get Cenas response to Rock which he says will be a final knockout. With Mania more or less set all we have to do for the most part is finish the build to it. There are four Raws left before then and hopefully theyre better than last weeks. Austin is here tonight too which should help some. Lets get to it.
We open with a clip from last week of HHH talking about how his only remaining challenge is the Streak and ending it.
In the arena Taker comes to the ring complete with Johnny Cash music. He talks about how people have been talking about how the Streak ends this year due to Father Time. Or maybe its due to the Game, the King of Kings, Triple H. Taker says that only one can be the Last Outlaw. He shows us a highlight reel of the last two Mania matches, showing what happens to people that try to end his Streak. The match at Mania is no holds barred apparently, and at Wrestlemania, HHH will Rest in Peace.
After telling us about Austin being here tonight we see Orton fighting off someone in the back. Its Otunga and Orton is double teamed by Otunga and Ryan. Punk comes up and says McGillicutty is on the shelf. Punk gets in his face and slams his head into what looks like a metal wall or cabinet. GTS to Orton and Punk tells the two guys to take him to the ring as we go to a break.
Back with Nexus beating on Orton and then Otunga saying hes ready for his match. Randy says ring the bell.
Randy Orton vs. David Otunga
Otunga is in control quickly due to Orton being very weakened. He pounds away and adds a slam for two. Otunga gets his spinebuster for two which more or less seals the fate of the ending here. He picks Orton up again and theres the RKO to end it at 2:00. Exactly what you would expect here.
Post match Ryan runs out after being thrown out pre-match and kicks Ortons head off. Orton fights him off and hits an RKO to leave him laying. Punk comes out for the staredown while staying outside. Orton snaps to attention and runs to the other side of the ring, punting Otunga as he gets up. He did it so fast it was kind of hard to tell actually. Replay shots the Punt looking great too.
Cole reveals his guest referee tonight.
Miz isnt here tonight due to a lack of recognition. Thats very true actually as its been about Rock vs. Cena.
Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Is there a reason this is on Raw and not on Smackdown? Albert has Brodus Clay with his which is always a good thing. Brodus has a mic with him so I might as well get this ready now.
Christian vs. Brodus Clay
Alberto says theyre going to fight but not tonight. First off he has to beat Brodus Clay. Yep I was right. Clay takes him down almost immediately but Christian reverses a slam attempt. Unprettier doesnt work at all and Brodus takes over with raw power. That would be opposed to Smackdown power of course.
He locks in an armbar which is very logical here. Theres that T-Bone suplex but a splash misses. A pair of dropkicks takes Brodus down for two. Christian reverses a powerslam and a Tornado DDT gets the Canadian the win at 2:45. Too short to grade but this was a good power vs. speed match which is the best kind of match.
Del Rio puts Christian in the Cross Armbreaker post match.
Package on Sin Cara. Theyre making him out to look like a big deal which is a good sign.
The newest Hall of Fane inductee (along with Michaels, Duggan and Bullet Bob Armstrong) is Sunny. Oh yes this should be happening. Shes the original Diva and belongs in the Hall of Fame. Not a bit of sarcasm in there.
Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella
The bell is after the break. Gail Kim is here with Eve. Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick. Cole talks about going to be on New Years Eve and waking up on Christmas morning. Thats how he feels about introducing his referee tonight. Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee. Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri. Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.
Snooki of Jersey Shore will be Guest Star next week. Damn it all to hell.
Its time for Cole to introduce his referee. He has a contract and whoever signs said contract will be the referee. If thats not a way to cause some issues I dont know what is. Cole talks about how hes been a fan of this guy for years and how hes a guy thats going to call the show right down the middle. The referee Cole has picked is a legendary Texan and the fans want to cheer him so lets start the chant: AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN! Cole says he fooled us because the referee is none other than JBL!
JBL talks about how Texas is a failure now with no championships in a long time. Bradshaw looks slim here. He talks about how until now no one has ever debuted in the main event, so I guess Lawrence Taylor and Mr. T. no longer exist. He says that hell be an impartial referee and will return to the main event.
CUE GLASS SHATTER just before JBL can sign the contract. Cole hides behind JBL so its a Stunner from him. Time to drink some beer! Cole sounds like hes about to cry on commentary. Austin looks down at the contract and up at the Mania sign. With Cole crying that Austin ruined his night, Austin signs the contract and is the referee. Austin goes out to Cole and shakes his hand before pouring beer on his head. Cole leaves with one of the funniest looks on his face that youll ever see. JBL gets another Stunner. Hilarious segment with Cole cracking me up the whole time.
Back and Swagger says hell break Austins ankle.
Jerry takes over on commentary.
Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
Sheamus charges to start but gets taken down and to the floor by Bryan where Sheamus seems to have hurt his ankle. That actually gets a countout at 1:11. Uh, ok? Sheamus grabs a mic and says hes on a losing streak but hell end that next week by becoming US Champion. He challenges Bryan and says if he loses hell quit.
HBK will speak again later.
R-Truth vs. CM Punk
Truth grabs a rollup almost immediately for two. Punk sends him shoulder first into the post twice and make it three times. Truth tries to fight back and manages to escape the GTS. A Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice (the real one, not some random hold that is called the Anaconda Vice) ends this at 2:35. Total squash so no rating.
Shawn talks some more about HHH vs. Taker. He talks about how HHH can do a lot and can go straight evil at times, taking emotion out of the equation. Evil isnt an emotion but rather a way of life I guess so that makes sense.
Vickie Guerrero comes out and we take a break.
Snooki is still coming next week. I was hoping that was a nightmare but it seems not to be.
Vickie is here and Ziggler is rehired on Raw. No real shock there.
John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler
Vickie is on commentary here and apparently she isnt dating Dolph anymore. Dolph dropkicks Morrison to the floor where he holds his knee as we take a break. Back with Dolph in control but Morrison makes a bit of a comeback, even hitting the Moonlight Drive. That more or less ends the comeback though as Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the win at about 2:00 shown of 5:30.
E-Mail says that Dolph is hired, not Vickie. Shes a polarizing figure but she can have a job if she beats Trish Stratus next week. Security comes and takes her away.
We get the third clip of Rocks promo last week. Cenas reply is next.
But first, a look at The Chaperone!
After a final piece of Rock's promo, here's Cena to deliver the Final Knockout. Apparently he struck a nerve with Rock last week and Rock calls him various kinds of breakfast cereals. Cena likes the schtick but apparently Rock doesn't like rap. So tonight, Cena will do it in hip hop. I've always wanted to know what the difference is so this should be educational. He talks about how Rock was reading off a teleprompter last week and how the only thing Rock is beating is himself.
Cena was here last week unlike Rock. Rock is a disgrace and needs to just show up. He says he'll give Rock a pearl necklace, which he produces from his pocket. Cena has another pocket, this time with Rock's new shirt in it. "I Bring It Via Satellite!" That was good. Cena says not to call him out again because that's bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Cena turns around and walks into a belt shot from Miz who leaves him laying. It's aboutt ime Miz gets involved like this. He's been left out in the cold which makes me think there's no title change coming at Mania. Cena staggers up and takes another shot. Miz says he's tired of being disrespected and every time Rock and Cena go at it, Miz leaves Cena laying.
Miz: "The Rock, John Cena, Randy Savage and Liz. Steve Austin and Bret Hart, they're nothing compared to The Miz." Those might not be the right names but it's the right rhyme. Miz looks into the camera and tells Rock he's the star of Mania. He says he'll take Rock's glasses, his catchphrases, his father and his grandfather and shove them up Rock's ass. Skull Crushing Finale to Cena and a People's Elbow ends the show.
Results
Randy Orton b. David Otunga RKO
Christian b. Brodus Clay Tornado DDT
Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella Spinning Neckbreaker
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via count-out
CM Punk b. R-Truth Anaconda Vice
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison Zig Zag
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.9, up from last week. Debate amongst yourselves if thats a failure or not.
NXT
Date: March 8, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
This is the debut of Season Five of NXT. There has been no cast or Pros or anything like that announced yet. All we know is that Maryse is going to be the host which was revealed/announced earlier today. The rumor for this season was that it would be Legends with their children for this season which could be good for the older fans. If thats not the case Ill edit this out. Lets get to it.
As the show opens you see the word Redemption everywhere. Oh I have a bad feeling about this.
William Regal is now a commentator.
Striker and Maryse are now the hosts. She introduces the Rookies.
Darren Young. Oh damn it I was afraid of this.
Conor OBrian
Lucky Cannon (with a big feathery robe)
Byron Saxton
Jacob Novak
Titus ONeal
Thats it. I have to watch these guys AGAIN? The winner of this gets to be on NXT Season 6. What the hell? Theres no immunity but rather redemption points which make no sense but sounds like exactly the same thing. Here are the Pros.
Darren Young gets Chavo Guerrero. Chavo says Darren is good in the ring but he needs to be more aggressive. Guerrero wants Young to get noticed.
OBrian gets Vladimir Kozlov. This isnt going to go well. He says some stuff no one can understand.
Lucky Cannon has Tyson Kidd. What the hell are they thinking here? Has Kidd actually won a match in the last two months? Cannon, who is the reigning FCW Champion and a heel now, needs to be meaner.
Saxton gets Yoshi freaking Tatsu, who is in a suit. Grisham points out the international flavor of this season. Tatsu says Saxton needs to relax.
Novak the Worthless gets JTG. Oh I give up.
Titus ONeil gets Hornswoggle. I didnt listen to his promo/speech as I was writing up my resignation.
Novak vs. Young is up next.
Darren Young vs. Jacob Novak
Young has a haircut at least now. They head to the floor which might have been an accident. We hit the ropes a few times and Young gets a forearm to take him down. Regal is a natural on commentary. Novak with a clothesline in the corner for two so we hit the chinlock. Young fights back which gets him nowhere for the most part as Novak hits yet another clothesline to take over. Young hits that spinning full nelson slam to end this at 3:30.
Yoshi talks to Maryse in the back, saying shell be a great host. He has something to tell her but Saxton comes up and says hed love to talk strategy with his Pro. She leaves and Tatsu says Saxtons timing is no good.
Raw ReBound, which recaps the previous weeks show as Rock pretends to be a rapper. Now we get part of Cenas Knockout last night which was nowhere near his one from two weeks ago. I still like Cenas stuff better than Rocks in this feud. The aspect about Rock being in the arena once is really all the ammo Cena needs. We also get Mizs run in to end the show which was better than anything else in the last segment. Thankfully this is actually a recap and not just reairing the whole thing.
Conor OBrian talks about hiding behind a persona last season. He talks about being poor growing up. Why does it seem that every wrestler went through hell growing up?
Theres a Boot Camp Obstacle Course up next.
More on the Chaperone. If I ever want to end myself itll be with a marathon of Legendary, Knucklehead and Chaperone.
Snooki is coming to Raw. Damn it all to hell. WWE you continue to piss me off.
We do a Boot Camp Obstacle Course and first off my jaw drops at Maryse in camouflage. Im not a fan of her but good freaking grief she looks great here.
Titus goes first. The course is jumping a wall, going under a net on the ground kind of thing, a balance beam, weaving through some polls and picking up a bag to carry across the finish line. Titus gets 29.8.
Novak shatters it with 24 seconds. Theres nothing to say here for the most part.
Saxton gets a time of 26.5.
Lucky Cannon in the pink tights, stops to say he wont be a circus monkey this season because its all about him.
Conor is 5th and gets a time of 27.1. He stumbled at the beginning which hurt him a lot.
Young goes last and is FLYING. He wins it with a time of 23 seconds, good for 3 Redemption Points which Im not sure I understand. Granted that might be because I thought they were different than Immunity Points.
We reair the majority of the Cole/JBL/Austin thing because these guys cant have matches right? Cole on commentary here is still absolutely awesome. This eats up 8 minutes.
HHH will be on Smackdown.
Lucky Cannon vs. Titus ONeil
After about a minute of jokes about the robe were ready to go. Titus hammers him away in the corner but gets sent outside for his efforts. And there goes the feed. Hey tonight isnt a total loss! Ah there it is and Cannon has a chinlock. Regal says Finlay is the best ever from his part of the world. Cannon is a total heel here but the name is going to hold him back. Titus gets a belly to back to escape from a headlock. Titus uses his power but gets taken down. Horny distracts Tyson and assists Titus to hit a Sky High (DLos old finisher) powerbomb to end this at 2:57. Too short to grade but nothing of note.
Results
Darren Young b. Jacob Novak Release Full Nelson Slam
Darren Young won the Boot Camp Obstacle Course
Titus ONeil b. Lucky Cannon Sitout Powerbomb
Wednesday
Nothing to see here
Thursday
Impact
Date: March 10, 2011
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Return of the Icon
Hey did you know that Victory Road was this Sunday? You probably shouldnt as its not like TNA has spent any TV time building anything for it outside of the quick mention of the tag title match last week. Other than that we know very little for this PPV and the show is in 3 days. Were still in North Carolina this week and Sting is the new world champion. Lets get to it.
We open with a quick recap of the previous weeks shows and then its time for Sting to address the crowd. He has a weird color scheme in his face paint that looks like theres a bloody cross over his eye. Sting talks about how hes had a long career and the people have supported him every step of the way. He talks about Jeff Hardy and how great he is and that he needs to get back to being his old self.
Cue Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan doing the talking. He talks about how Sting saw it coming from miles away and no one believed them that Hogan was going to screw over TNA. When no one believed it, he went home but now hes back. The fans dont need another hero. They have one named Hulk Hogan.
Sting says he went home but then he got a fire inside him, just like when he fought Flair or Hogan. Sting says he has to start a new war and it starts right here. Cue Anderson who says he wants his rematch. The key word is My and he doesnt care what Hogan or Bischoff or the Network says, he wants it. Anderson introduces himself to Sting and Sting smiles at him.
Cue Hardy because this isnt crowded enough already. Anderson isnt getting his shot yet is he? He says he was robbed last week and that hes awesome. Hardy tells Anderson that the line for the world title starts behind Hardy. Heres RVD to complain some more. Van Dam yells at everyone until Hogan starts talking again. He calls the shots here and Bischoff makes RVD/Sting vs. Hardy/Anderson. Hardy vs. Sting for the title at the PPV and Anderson vs. RVD grudge match. Why do they have a grudge?
The girls talk in the back with the Jersey Shore chick talking and swearing a lot. Theres a six girl tag later. Winter gets rid of them and Velvet is still mad.
Samoa Joe vs. Pope next.
Samoa Joe vs. DAngelo Dinero
Pope comes through the crowd and drills Okato with his chain to take over. Joe hammers away on him with various strikes that leave Pope staggering. Pope fights back a bit but gets destroyed by all kinds of things from Joe, namely a powerslam. Joe tries a sleeper but runs into an STO for two. Pope gets a turnbuckle pad off but walks into a suplex. He grabs the chain from earlier and pops Joe in the head with it for the pin at 3:20.
Bully Ray yells at people and says hell be in the parking lot waiting on Dreamer.
Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. ???
This is another open challenge. My goodness Tara is stunning. This week Roxxi answers it and is taken down quickly. She misses a charge as this is all Madison early. Spinebuster gets two for Roxxi as does a rollup. That same neckbreaker/knee to the back combination by Madison ends this at 1:30. This was nothing. Mickie James comes out for the save. So its back to this feud again?
Dreamer goes to the parking lot and says he'll fight Ray right now.
After a break Ray is screaming for Dreamer. How big is this parking lot that they cant hear each other? D-Von jumps Ray and beats the hell out of him by ramming him into various things, namely D-Vons fists. Ray begs for mercy as D-Von finds a chair to whip Bubba with. D-Von gets a sledgehammer from a golf cart and Dreamer comes in to stop him from killing Ray. After the leave Ray beats up the security guard just because.
Sarita/Cookie/Angelina vs. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Winter
Velvet and Angelina-Not Love start us off. Winter and Angelina Love defend the tag titles against Sarita/Rosita on Sunday. Everything breaks down quickly and heres Robbie E to hold Velvet. Winter teases hurting Velvet but saves her instead. Winter bites Robbies hand so that Velvet can roll up Angelina-Not Love to win it at 1:50. Was there a point to this other than girls in little clothing? Not that Im complaining.
We get a clip from a house show with Angle talking. Anderson talks about the New York Jet interrupting Angle. Angle says hell fight Bart Scott.
Anderson is in Immortals locker room and isnt happy with having to team with Hardy. Bischoff calms him down.
We recap Flair turning on Fourtune which was supposed to be shocking I think. This also requires another Hogan appearance.
Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles
Flair is of course in a suit. Nothing could go wrong with two North Carolina guys in North Carolina as heels right? AJ is in jeans and a t-shirt Flair says he hopes Flair country is grabbing AJ by the balls. AJ says TNA is the house that AJ Styles built. Flair says he made the town and has slept with most of the peoples mothers and fertilized Fayetteville. Matt cuts AJ off and says AJ couldnt understand what Matt has gone through in this business. This isnt personal though.
AJ blasts Matt as this is a 3 way street fight that continues after the bell. Back with AJ hammering away on Matt with Flair on the floor. The bell I believe rang pre-bell but its not quite clear. Flair comes in for the first time during the match and hammers away. That gets him nowhere as AJ takes him down and sets for the Figure Four. Hes no Jay Lethal though so he cant get a submission. Matt drops the leg to break it up for two.
Out on the floor and Matt drills AJ with a chair and brings out a ladder. Flair is all busted open again as is his custom. Twist of Fate is blocked and Hardy goes into the ladder. AJ beats up Flair for awhile as Matt grabs a Side Effect for two. AJ avoids a chair shot from Ric and chops away. Styles Clash is blocked and the Twist of Fate onto the chair allows Flair to win this at 9:58, assuming the bell rang just before the break.
RVD isnt happy that Sting thought he was part of THEY.
Generation Me vs. Ink Inc
Beer Money is on commentary here. Jeremy vs. Shannon to start. Storm talks about Shannon being his friend and the guy he came up and down the road with. Gen Me has letters on their asses now so that helps. Gen Me gets Kazarian and Robbie E in Ultimate X on Sunday. Great to see them let that build. Jeremy hits that springboard X Factor so that Max can come in to hammer away.
Shannon is the face in peril for awhile until its off to the fire red head hair. He cleans house and hits a springboard cross body for two but cant hit his spear in the corner. Jeremy is brought back in and gets speared out of the air in a cool spot for no cover. Mooregasm ends Jeremy in 4:15.
Both teams say basic things.
Jeff Hardy more or less threatens Anderson not to turn on him. Anderson says hes unorthodox and illogical because hes an asshole.
Pope says hes going to end this with Joe soon.
We recap the wedding from last week which was kind of awesome and VERY long. The Jarretts are going on their honeymoon and going to Orlando. Lots of sex is implied.
Package on Ultimate X.
We run down the Victory Road card. In addition to the announced matches we also get Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles and Morgan vs. Hernandez in a first blood match. Ray vs. Dreamer also.
Sting talks about not wanting to become a wrestler but having his opinion changed. TNA is his brand apparently and he doesnt like Hogan/Bischoff/Hardy taking it over. He says its been a great seven days and hell defend the title against anyone. Anderson jumps him and beats him down, shouting about wanting his rematch.
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam/Sting
Some kid is doing the announcing here and sounds awful. No Sting to stat us off here and after about three minutes there go the lights and on comes the music. I know there isnt much said there but its exactly what you would expect of it. Sting is here, Death Drop, Five Star ends Anderson at 4:58.
Results
DAngelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe Dinero pinned Joe after a shot with a chain
Madison Rayne b. Roxxi Neckbreaker/knee to the back of the head combination
Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Winter b. Angelina/Cookie/Sarita Velvet rolled up Angelina
Ric Flair b. Matt Hardy and AJ Styles Flair pinned Styles after a Twist of Fate from Hardy
Ink Inc b. Generation Me Mooregasm to Jeremy
Rob Van Dam/Sting b. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy Five Star Frog Splash to Anderson
Smackdown got a 2.0, down a bit but still solid.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,744
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
After last weeks wrestling light show tonight were supposed to get Cenas response to Rock which he says will be a final knockout. With Mania more or less set all we have to do for the most part is finish the build to it. There are four Raws left before then and hopefully theyre better than last weeks. Austin is here tonight too which should help some. Lets get to it.
We open with a clip from last week of HHH talking about how his only remaining challenge is the Streak and ending it.
In the arena Taker comes to the ring complete with Johnny Cash music. He talks about how people have been talking about how the Streak ends this year due to Father Time. Or maybe its due to the Game, the King of Kings, Triple H. Taker says that only one can be the Last Outlaw. He shows us a highlight reel of the last two Mania matches, showing what happens to people that try to end his Streak. The match at Mania is no holds barred apparently, and at Wrestlemania, HHH will Rest in Peace.
After telling us about Austin being here tonight we see Orton fighting off someone in the back. Its Otunga and Orton is double teamed by Otunga and Ryan. Punk comes up and says McGillicutty is on the shelf. Punk gets in his face and slams his head into what looks like a metal wall or cabinet. GTS to Orton and Punk tells the two guys to take him to the ring as we go to a break.
Back with Nexus beating on Orton and then Otunga saying hes ready for his match. Randy says ring the bell.
Randy Orton vs. David Otunga
Otunga is in control quickly due to Orton being very weakened. He pounds away and adds a slam for two. Otunga gets his spinebuster for two which more or less seals the fate of the ending here. He picks Orton up again and theres the RKO to end it at 2:00. Exactly what you would expect here.
Post match Ryan runs out after being thrown out pre-match and kicks Ortons head off. Orton fights him off and hits an RKO to leave him laying. Punk comes out for the staredown while staying outside. Orton snaps to attention and runs to the other side of the ring, punting Otunga as he gets up. He did it so fast it was kind of hard to tell actually. Replay shots the Punt looking great too.
Cole reveals his guest referee tonight.
Miz isnt here tonight due to a lack of recognition. Thats very true actually as its been about Rock vs. Cena.
Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Is there a reason this is on Raw and not on Smackdown? Albert has Brodus Clay with his which is always a good thing. Brodus has a mic with him so I might as well get this ready now.
Christian vs. Brodus Clay
Alberto says theyre going to fight but not tonight. First off he has to beat Brodus Clay. Yep I was right. Clay takes him down almost immediately but Christian reverses a slam attempt. Unprettier doesnt work at all and Brodus takes over with raw power. That would be opposed to Smackdown power of course.
He locks in an armbar which is very logical here. Theres that T-Bone suplex but a splash misses. A pair of dropkicks takes Brodus down for two. Christian reverses a powerslam and a Tornado DDT gets the Canadian the win at 2:45. Too short to grade but this was a good power vs. speed match which is the best kind of match.
Del Rio puts Christian in the Cross Armbreaker post match.
Package on Sin Cara. Theyre making him out to look like a big deal which is a good sign.
The newest Hall of Fane inductee (along with Michaels, Duggan and Bullet Bob Armstrong) is Sunny. Oh yes this should be happening. Shes the original Diva and belongs in the Hall of Fame. Not a bit of sarcasm in there.
Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella
The bell is after the break. Gail Kim is here with Eve. Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick. Cole talks about going to be on New Years Eve and waking up on Christmas morning. Thats how he feels about introducing his referee tonight. Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee. Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri. Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.
Snooki of Jersey Shore will be Guest Star next week. Damn it all to hell.
Its time for Cole to introduce his referee. He has a contract and whoever signs said contract will be the referee. If thats not a way to cause some issues I dont know what is. Cole talks about how hes been a fan of this guy for years and how hes a guy thats going to call the show right down the middle. The referee Cole has picked is a legendary Texan and the fans want to cheer him so lets start the chant: AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN! Cole says he fooled us because the referee is none other than JBL!
JBL talks about how Texas is a failure now with no championships in a long time. Bradshaw looks slim here. He talks about how until now no one has ever debuted in the main event, so I guess Lawrence Taylor and Mr. T. no longer exist. He says that hell be an impartial referee and will return to the main event.
CUE GLASS SHATTER just before JBL can sign the contract. Cole hides behind JBL so its a Stunner from him. Time to drink some beer! Cole sounds like hes about to cry on commentary. Austin looks down at the contract and up at the Mania sign. With Cole crying that Austin ruined his night, Austin signs the contract and is the referee. Austin goes out to Cole and shakes his hand before pouring beer on his head. Cole leaves with one of the funniest looks on his face that youll ever see. JBL gets another Stunner. Hilarious segment with Cole cracking me up the whole time.
Back and Swagger says hell break Austins ankle.
Jerry takes over on commentary.
Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
Sheamus charges to start but gets taken down and to the floor by Bryan where Sheamus seems to have hurt his ankle. That actually gets a countout at 1:11. Uh, ok? Sheamus grabs a mic and says hes on a losing streak but hell end that next week by becoming US Champion. He challenges Bryan and says if he loses hell quit.
HBK will speak again later.
R-Truth vs. CM Punk
Truth grabs a rollup almost immediately for two. Punk sends him shoulder first into the post twice and make it three times. Truth tries to fight back and manages to escape the GTS. A Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice (the real one, not some random hold that is called the Anaconda Vice) ends this at 2:35. Total squash so no rating.
Shawn talks some more about HHH vs. Taker. He talks about how HHH can do a lot and can go straight evil at times, taking emotion out of the equation. Evil isnt an emotion but rather a way of life I guess so that makes sense.
Vickie Guerrero comes out and we take a break.
Snooki is still coming next week. I was hoping that was a nightmare but it seems not to be.
Vickie is here and Ziggler is rehired on Raw. No real shock there.
John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler
Vickie is on commentary here and apparently she isnt dating Dolph anymore. Dolph dropkicks Morrison to the floor where he holds his knee as we take a break. Back with Dolph in control but Morrison makes a bit of a comeback, even hitting the Moonlight Drive. That more or less ends the comeback though as Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the win at about 2:00 shown of 5:30.
E-Mail says that Dolph is hired, not Vickie. Shes a polarizing figure but she can have a job if she beats Trish Stratus next week. Security comes and takes her away.
We get the third clip of Rocks promo last week. Cenas reply is next.
But first, a look at The Chaperone!
After a final piece of Rock's promo, here's Cena to deliver the Final Knockout. Apparently he struck a nerve with Rock last week and Rock calls him various kinds of breakfast cereals. Cena likes the schtick but apparently Rock doesn't like rap. So tonight, Cena will do it in hip hop. I've always wanted to know what the difference is so this should be educational. He talks about how Rock was reading off a teleprompter last week and how the only thing Rock is beating is himself.
Cena was here last week unlike Rock. Rock is a disgrace and needs to just show up. He says he'll give Rock a pearl necklace, which he produces from his pocket. Cena has another pocket, this time with Rock's new shirt in it. "I Bring It Via Satellite!" That was good. Cena says not to call him out again because that's bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Cena turns around and walks into a belt shot from Miz who leaves him laying. It's aboutt ime Miz gets involved like this. He's been left out in the cold which makes me think there's no title change coming at Mania. Cena staggers up and takes another shot. Miz says he's tired of being disrespected and every time Rock and Cena go at it, Miz leaves Cena laying.
Miz: "The Rock, John Cena, Randy Savage and Liz. Steve Austin and Bret Hart, they're nothing compared to The Miz." Those might not be the right names but it's the right rhyme. Miz looks into the camera and tells Rock he's the star of Mania. He says he'll take Rock's glasses, his catchphrases, his father and his grandfather and shove them up Rock's ass. Skull Crushing Finale to Cena and a People's Elbow ends the show.
Results
Randy Orton b. David Otunga RKO
Christian b. Brodus Clay Tornado DDT
Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella Spinning Neckbreaker
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via count-out
CM Punk b. R-Truth Anaconda Vice
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison Zig Zag
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.9, up from last week. Debate amongst yourselves if thats a failure or not.
NXT
Date: March 8, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
This is the debut of Season Five of NXT. There has been no cast or Pros or anything like that announced yet. All we know is that Maryse is going to be the host which was revealed/announced earlier today. The rumor for this season was that it would be Legends with their children for this season which could be good for the older fans. If thats not the case Ill edit this out. Lets get to it.
As the show opens you see the word Redemption everywhere. Oh I have a bad feeling about this.
William Regal is now a commentator.
Striker and Maryse are now the hosts. She introduces the Rookies.
Darren Young. Oh damn it I was afraid of this.
Conor OBrian
Lucky Cannon (with a big feathery robe)
Byron Saxton
Jacob Novak
Titus ONeal
Thats it. I have to watch these guys AGAIN? The winner of this gets to be on NXT Season 6. What the hell? Theres no immunity but rather redemption points which make no sense but sounds like exactly the same thing. Here are the Pros.
Darren Young gets Chavo Guerrero. Chavo says Darren is good in the ring but he needs to be more aggressive. Guerrero wants Young to get noticed.
OBrian gets Vladimir Kozlov. This isnt going to go well. He says some stuff no one can understand.
Lucky Cannon has Tyson Kidd. What the hell are they thinking here? Has Kidd actually won a match in the last two months? Cannon, who is the reigning FCW Champion and a heel now, needs to be meaner.
Saxton gets Yoshi freaking Tatsu, who is in a suit. Grisham points out the international flavor of this season. Tatsu says Saxton needs to relax.
Novak the Worthless gets JTG. Oh I give up.
Titus ONeil gets Hornswoggle. I didnt listen to his promo/speech as I was writing up my resignation.
Novak vs. Young is up next.
Darren Young vs. Jacob Novak
Young has a haircut at least now. They head to the floor which might have been an accident. We hit the ropes a few times and Young gets a forearm to take him down. Regal is a natural on commentary. Novak with a clothesline in the corner for two so we hit the chinlock. Young fights back which gets him nowhere for the most part as Novak hits yet another clothesline to take over. Young hits that spinning full nelson slam to end this at 3:30.
Yoshi talks to Maryse in the back, saying shell be a great host. He has something to tell her but Saxton comes up and says hed love to talk strategy with his Pro. She leaves and Tatsu says Saxtons timing is no good.
Raw ReBound, which recaps the previous weeks show as Rock pretends to be a rapper. Now we get part of Cenas Knockout last night which was nowhere near his one from two weeks ago. I still like Cenas stuff better than Rocks in this feud. The aspect about Rock being in the arena once is really all the ammo Cena needs. We also get Mizs run in to end the show which was better than anything else in the last segment. Thankfully this is actually a recap and not just reairing the whole thing.
Conor OBrian talks about hiding behind a persona last season. He talks about being poor growing up. Why does it seem that every wrestler went through hell growing up?
Theres a Boot Camp Obstacle Course up next.
More on the Chaperone. If I ever want to end myself itll be with a marathon of Legendary, Knucklehead and Chaperone.
Snooki is coming to Raw. Damn it all to hell. WWE you continue to piss me off.
We do a Boot Camp Obstacle Course and first off my jaw drops at Maryse in camouflage. Im not a fan of her but good freaking grief she looks great here.
Titus goes first. The course is jumping a wall, going under a net on the ground kind of thing, a balance beam, weaving through some polls and picking up a bag to carry across the finish line. Titus gets 29.8.
Novak shatters it with 24 seconds. Theres nothing to say here for the most part.
Saxton gets a time of 26.5.
Lucky Cannon in the pink tights, stops to say he wont be a circus monkey this season because its all about him.
Conor is 5th and gets a time of 27.1. He stumbled at the beginning which hurt him a lot.
Young goes last and is FLYING. He wins it with a time of 23 seconds, good for 3 Redemption Points which Im not sure I understand. Granted that might be because I thought they were different than Immunity Points.
We reair the majority of the Cole/JBL/Austin thing because these guys cant have matches right? Cole on commentary here is still absolutely awesome. This eats up 8 minutes.
HHH will be on Smackdown.
Lucky Cannon vs. Titus ONeil
After about a minute of jokes about the robe were ready to go. Titus hammers him away in the corner but gets sent outside for his efforts. And there goes the feed. Hey tonight isnt a total loss! Ah there it is and Cannon has a chinlock. Regal says Finlay is the best ever from his part of the world. Cannon is a total heel here but the name is going to hold him back. Titus gets a belly to back to escape from a headlock. Titus uses his power but gets taken down. Horny distracts Tyson and assists Titus to hit a Sky High (DLos old finisher) powerbomb to end this at 2:57. Too short to grade but nothing of note.
Results
Darren Young b. Jacob Novak Release Full Nelson Slam
Darren Young won the Boot Camp Obstacle Course
Titus ONeil b. Lucky Cannon Sitout Powerbomb
Wednesday
Nothing to see here
Thursday
Impact
Date: March 10, 2011
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Return of the Icon
Hey did you know that Victory Road was this Sunday? You probably shouldnt as its not like TNA has spent any TV time building anything for it outside of the quick mention of the tag title match last week. Other than that we know very little for this PPV and the show is in 3 days. Were still in North Carolina this week and Sting is the new world champion. Lets get to it.
We open with a quick recap of the previous weeks shows and then its time for Sting to address the crowd. He has a weird color scheme in his face paint that looks like theres a bloody cross over his eye. Sting talks about how hes had a long career and the people have supported him every step of the way. He talks about Jeff Hardy and how great he is and that he needs to get back to being his old self.
Cue Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan doing the talking. He talks about how Sting saw it coming from miles away and no one believed them that Hogan was going to screw over TNA. When no one believed it, he went home but now hes back. The fans dont need another hero. They have one named Hulk Hogan.
Sting says he went home but then he got a fire inside him, just like when he fought Flair or Hogan. Sting says he has to start a new war and it starts right here. Cue Anderson who says he wants his rematch. The key word is My and he doesnt care what Hogan or Bischoff or the Network says, he wants it. Anderson introduces himself to Sting and Sting smiles at him.
Cue Hardy because this isnt crowded enough already. Anderson isnt getting his shot yet is he? He says he was robbed last week and that hes awesome. Hardy tells Anderson that the line for the world title starts behind Hardy. Heres RVD to complain some more. Van Dam yells at everyone until Hogan starts talking again. He calls the shots here and Bischoff makes RVD/Sting vs. Hardy/Anderson. Hardy vs. Sting for the title at the PPV and Anderson vs. RVD grudge match. Why do they have a grudge?
The girls talk in the back with the Jersey Shore chick talking and swearing a lot. Theres a six girl tag later. Winter gets rid of them and Velvet is still mad.
Samoa Joe vs. Pope next.
Samoa Joe vs. DAngelo Dinero
Pope comes through the crowd and drills Okato with his chain to take over. Joe hammers away on him with various strikes that leave Pope staggering. Pope fights back a bit but gets destroyed by all kinds of things from Joe, namely a powerslam. Joe tries a sleeper but runs into an STO for two. Pope gets a turnbuckle pad off but walks into a suplex. He grabs the chain from earlier and pops Joe in the head with it for the pin at 3:20.
Bully Ray yells at people and says hell be in the parking lot waiting on Dreamer.
Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. ???
This is another open challenge. My goodness Tara is stunning. This week Roxxi answers it and is taken down quickly. She misses a charge as this is all Madison early. Spinebuster gets two for Roxxi as does a rollup. That same neckbreaker/knee to the back combination by Madison ends this at 1:30. This was nothing. Mickie James comes out for the save. So its back to this feud again?
Dreamer goes to the parking lot and says he'll fight Ray right now.
After a break Ray is screaming for Dreamer. How big is this parking lot that they cant hear each other? D-Von jumps Ray and beats the hell out of him by ramming him into various things, namely D-Vons fists. Ray begs for mercy as D-Von finds a chair to whip Bubba with. D-Von gets a sledgehammer from a golf cart and Dreamer comes in to stop him from killing Ray. After the leave Ray beats up the security guard just because.
Sarita/Cookie/Angelina vs. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Winter
Velvet and Angelina-Not Love start us off. Winter and Angelina Love defend the tag titles against Sarita/Rosita on Sunday. Everything breaks down quickly and heres Robbie E to hold Velvet. Winter teases hurting Velvet but saves her instead. Winter bites Robbies hand so that Velvet can roll up Angelina-Not Love to win it at 1:50. Was there a point to this other than girls in little clothing? Not that Im complaining.
We get a clip from a house show with Angle talking. Anderson talks about the New York Jet interrupting Angle. Angle says hell fight Bart Scott.
Anderson is in Immortals locker room and isnt happy with having to team with Hardy. Bischoff calms him down.
We recap Flair turning on Fourtune which was supposed to be shocking I think. This also requires another Hogan appearance.
Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles
Flair is of course in a suit. Nothing could go wrong with two North Carolina guys in North Carolina as heels right? AJ is in jeans and a t-shirt Flair says he hopes Flair country is grabbing AJ by the balls. AJ says TNA is the house that AJ Styles built. Flair says he made the town and has slept with most of the peoples mothers and fertilized Fayetteville. Matt cuts AJ off and says AJ couldnt understand what Matt has gone through in this business. This isnt personal though.
AJ blasts Matt as this is a 3 way street fight that continues after the bell. Back with AJ hammering away on Matt with Flair on the floor. The bell I believe rang pre-bell but its not quite clear. Flair comes in for the first time during the match and hammers away. That gets him nowhere as AJ takes him down and sets for the Figure Four. Hes no Jay Lethal though so he cant get a submission. Matt drops the leg to break it up for two.
Out on the floor and Matt drills AJ with a chair and brings out a ladder. Flair is all busted open again as is his custom. Twist of Fate is blocked and Hardy goes into the ladder. AJ beats up Flair for awhile as Matt grabs a Side Effect for two. AJ avoids a chair shot from Ric and chops away. Styles Clash is blocked and the Twist of Fate onto the chair allows Flair to win this at 9:58, assuming the bell rang just before the break.
RVD isnt happy that Sting thought he was part of THEY.
Generation Me vs. Ink Inc
Beer Money is on commentary here. Jeremy vs. Shannon to start. Storm talks about Shannon being his friend and the guy he came up and down the road with. Gen Me has letters on their asses now so that helps. Gen Me gets Kazarian and Robbie E in Ultimate X on Sunday. Great to see them let that build. Jeremy hits that springboard X Factor so that Max can come in to hammer away.
Shannon is the face in peril for awhile until its off to the fire red head hair. He cleans house and hits a springboard cross body for two but cant hit his spear in the corner. Jeremy is brought back in and gets speared out of the air in a cool spot for no cover. Mooregasm ends Jeremy in 4:15.
Both teams say basic things.
Jeff Hardy more or less threatens Anderson not to turn on him. Anderson says hes unorthodox and illogical because hes an asshole.
Pope says hes going to end this with Joe soon.
We recap the wedding from last week which was kind of awesome and VERY long. The Jarretts are going on their honeymoon and going to Orlando. Lots of sex is implied.
Package on Ultimate X.
We run down the Victory Road card. In addition to the announced matches we also get Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles and Morgan vs. Hernandez in a first blood match. Ray vs. Dreamer also.
Sting talks about not wanting to become a wrestler but having his opinion changed. TNA is his brand apparently and he doesnt like Hogan/Bischoff/Hardy taking it over. He says its been a great seven days and hell defend the title against anyone. Anderson jumps him and beats him down, shouting about wanting his rematch.
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam/Sting
Some kid is doing the announcing here and sounds awful. No Sting to stat us off here and after about three minutes there go the lights and on comes the music. I know there isnt much said there but its exactly what you would expect of it. Sting is here, Death Drop, Five Star ends Anderson at 4:58.
Results
DAngelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe Dinero pinned Joe after a shot with a chain
Madison Rayne b. Roxxi Neckbreaker/knee to the back of the head combination
Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Winter b. Angelina/Cookie/Sarita Velvet rolled up Angelina
Ric Flair b. Matt Hardy and AJ Styles Flair pinned Styles after a Twist of Fate from Hardy
Ink Inc b. Generation Me Mooregasm to Jeremy
Rob Van Dam/Sting b. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy Five Star Frog Splash to Anderson