klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a 1.2.
Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
This is the final show before the big one and from what I understand its mainly a highlight show which is fine. There were some matches taped at Raw so at least well get some original content. Expect a lot of we see so and so from Raw on here tonight but thats all well and good for a show like this. Lets get to it.
Theme some opens us up. For once I have to watch this live as there was no pre-air.
Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston
Wade looks good with the title. Kofi charges straight at him which gets him nowhere as Barrett kicks him to the floor and takes over. Back in the ring a pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett channels his inner Chris Hero and locks on a Cravate but rams Kofis head into Barretts knee as he does it for some added punishment.
Kofi comes back with kicks and strikes plus that great dropkick for two. SOS doesnt work. There are water stains in the ring which must be from something Ive forgotten about from Raw. Top rope cross body gets two and heres the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise runs into a big boot as Booker rambles about Kofi wasting time. Wasteland doesnt work and theres Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere, but theres Corre for the DQ at 3:57.
The beatdown begins until Santino/Kozlov come out to get beaten down also. Show and Kane come out for the real save. Kofi has nothing to do at Mania at all does he?
We recap last week with Cody jumping Rey and trying to hurt him.
Striker is with Cody who is in the shadows with a towel over his head. Cody says that hes a very bitter man that doesnt even want to look in the mirror anymore. This is a rather serious promo and it comes off pretty well. Cody says that on Sunday Rey has to contend with this, revealing his mask, and this, holding up the knee brace. Good stuff, but then again I like Cody.
Back and we get clips from Axxess where we have Todd and the Bellas. There are areas such as Hornswoggles house under the ring and Vinces destroyed limo. The Bellas brag a bit and it sounds like a CM Punk chant in the background.
We get a recap of Taker vs. HHH, as in the same one from Raw with the song. Later tonight well see the staredown from Raw. The video really is good.
We recap Orton vs. Punk which had a great build and then it just fell apart. The continuity was a nice touch but they kind of lost the flare with the Nexus guys getting destroyed over and over. At least its one on one at the PPV.
Theres an exhibit at Axxess where you can emulate various wrestlers entrances.
We talk about Shawn getting into the Hall of Fame a bit and then get a video about the LOD from Raw. Damn right they should be in the Hall of Fame.
We get the entire Swagger vs. Lawler match from Monday which Ill throw in the recap from my Raw review in order to fill in some space here.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger
Lawler has different music here. Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him. Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him. Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keepers area. Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20. Thats really the only ending they could go with here. Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box. Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.
Back on Smackdown now, even though Id assume this was taped before the segment we just recapped occurred, with Jerry Lawler coming out to address Cole. Lawler talks about Cole making fun of his mother, his father and bringing his son out to insult Jerry. Cole left before Lawler came out here. Jerry says that if Cole was here, neither would make it to Wrestlemania. Austin is going to cancel out Swagger on Sunday and its just the two of them. On Sunday Lawler is going to do what every fan wants him to do: shut Coles mouth.
We get a video from the Mania press conference which had a lot of mainstream press. Allegedly Cena was booed to the point of tears which is saying a lot. Snooki looks like some kind of Xena Warrior Elf.
At Axxess you can see Austins ATV and Takers graveyard, which would be awesome if Axxess hadnt already happened. Just to tease us in the background you can see Santino/Kozlov about to face the Usos live at Axxess. Clearly we cant watch that though right? Wow did I really just ask to see Santino/Kozlov vs. the Usos? I must be bored.
We reair the Shawn/Taker/HHH thing from Monday. Ive commented on it twice already so Ive got nothing here. Eats up about 15 minutes.
Video of the Miz on Conan which really was funny. Coco is officially the Ginja Ninja with the catchphrase of Step into my dojo mofo. Miz is hilarious when hes allowed to just be himself.
Sin Cara is coming.
Theres a booth at Axxess with the old WWF/E title and some autographed stuff. Trish has her own fashion booth which just makes me want to see her in them rather than on mannequins.
Time to talk about Trish/Snooki. Oh joy. Since all of the segments have been short, we see all of them involving Snooki.
We recap Del Rio vs. Edge which is more or less running down the history of Alberto who somehow only debuted in the fall.
Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters
Heres your last match before Wrestlemania people. Cherish it. Cody has a new dark version of Smoke and Mirrors which is pretty awesome sounding. Cody goes straight at him which gets him nowhere. Cole comes out during the match as Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster to take over. Mad heat on Cole which I dont think is legit. Cody gets a crossface chickenwing (what is up with people using that recently?) and calls some spots. Masters gets a Samoan Drop but cant get the Master Lock. Cross Rhodes ends this at 2:10. Just a squash.
Rey runs out but cant get 619. Cody avoids it again with the second time seeing Rey expose the knee brace. Here lies Cody Rhodes: the latest awesome character to be sacrificed to the King of Mystery. You know its coming.
We talk about Jericho on Dancing with the Stars with Matthews saying Jericho won the Undisputed Title at Wrestlemania. Are they altering THAT now too?
Cenas cars are at Axxess and some of them are one of a kind.
Naturally the last part of the show is reairing Rock and Cena with Miz on the side from Raw. I cant get over the fact that the Attitude Adjustment actually happened. Im pulling for Miz on Sunday, just to hear his promo the next night. Cena leaves Rock laying to end the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Corre interefered
Cody Rhodes b. Chris Masters Cross Rhodes
Saturday
Nothing today since everything is getting ready for Mania.
Sunday
Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson
Well here we are. Its the biggest night of the year and were heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night weve all looked forward to, and theres that Rock guy here too. Lets get to it.
The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. Im assuming the US Title match will be later.
Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.
Keri Hilson, some singer I dont know, sings America the Beautiful.
The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: heres THE ROCK! The Great One looks well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually its a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.
Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.
Theres the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio
WHAT THE HELL??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so hes driving out of it. Thats awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Heres Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because its a big match. Cant fault their logic there.
Im watching on a stream so Ill do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.
As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.
Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.
Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesnt go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.
Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They .they couldnt really be putting that on last could they?
Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Reys character this year: Captain America. Ok thats not bad.
Rey helps Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.
A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. Thats one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which Id assume is to get his arms tingling right?
Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and its a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted thats what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Codys face being sent into the apron.
Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America porn movie. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Reys throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Reys knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.
Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Codys mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Reys not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Codys mask on and Im not sure if Cody knows it or not.
Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets .two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.
Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour hes got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and its again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.
Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he cant talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.
Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane
The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but Im pretty sure if was officially announced. I cant complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so its off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You cant really say cleans house for one guy.
Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.
Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And its Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the Peoples Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae slaps Rocks ass.
Rock does the around the corner thing again and ITS AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. Theyre both retired and its an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.
We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I dont remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.
Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. Thats a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesnt work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.
Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Ortons papa (that was Bobs finisher).
Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and its almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesnt call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and theres the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but its not going to be the finish anyway.
Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because hes not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesnt break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know its not hitting here.
Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets .not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Heres your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.
Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cenas #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And its Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rocks line. I dont care for Herman so this was nothing at all.
Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.
Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.
Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.
Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.
Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.
Duggan gets a nice ovation and theres a bowtie on his 2x4.
And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.
We get a Wrestlemania Recall .which is from Raw. Its Cole throwing soda in Lawlers face. I hope this is next and it is.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isnt the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.
Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.
Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?
Lawler pulls on Coles hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the damn box and beats the hell out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.
Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. Thats something I really didnt want to know. The fans say Cole cant wrestle. Well hes not a wrestler so I think thats ok. The fans think this is bullshit. Such an impatient generation.
Cole tries a Vader Bomb (fuck that Vader Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesnt seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught. A mudhole is stomped .kind of.
Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? Theres a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on. The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and theres a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down its a jumping punch from the middle rope.
That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure its really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and theres the bell. Damn it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.
Post match its time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesnt drink it (hes a known non-drinker). Theres a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasnt drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fools joke. Amazingly its not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed. This should have been unfuckupable and they fucked it up. Im in awe of their utter stupidity here.
We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. Im still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.
Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldnt do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes Im harping on it but man that was idiotic.
We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package weve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because theres nothing else for him to do.
Undertaker vs. HHH
Theres a rock version of Takers theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait thats for HHH. Oh damn its For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Thats cool but dude, its HHH. Ah theres All About the Game. Thats more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.
The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.
We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all pissed off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesnt work but this time you cant blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.
Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but theres a backdrop off the table to the floor and hes holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasnt great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.
We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.
Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. Thats never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.
HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Games back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as were in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course .not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know theyre wanting this to be epic and while its good they feel like theyre trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.
Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead its a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and theres a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didnt have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.
A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and hes in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts whats wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker cant hold it.
Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and its sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hells Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but cant get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so Im not sure how accurate that is to the second.
Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. Im not sure if this is legit or not but Im leaning towards it being so.
Good time for a Dont Try This at Home no?
Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.
Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki
Please .make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but its official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And heres the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess shes an improvement over Bieber. I cant wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.
The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesnt want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.
Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: dont bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. Youll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.
Theres a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. Thats always cool to hear.
Its time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and its time to go. I guess were running behind. Ah ok heres a package as we see Mizs rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.
This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.
Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena
Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIzs moment and its working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cenas big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cenas theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.
Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cenas 8th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesnt last long.
Theyre in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.
Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but cant get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Lets Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.
Down goes the referee and wouldnt you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.
Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big ass spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. Theyre both dead and this is going to be a damn double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This cant be. That had better be a legit injury or were not done yet.
And heres Rock to make sure this doesnt suck. Theres an e-mail and Rock says that it doesnt matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.
Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it's a People's Elbow for Miz.
Results
Edge b. Alberto Del Rio Spear
Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio Cross Rhodes
Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre Big Show pinned Slater after a punch
Randy Orton b. CM Punk RKO
Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match
The Undertaker b. HHH Hells Gate
Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler Snooki pinned McCool after a splash
The Miz b. John Cena Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock
Quick Results
Raw
Edge/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay Spear to Clay
Santino Marella b. Justin Gabriel Cobra
Jack Swagger b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Lawler used a chair
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison High Cross to Bryan
NXT
Titus ONeil won the Arm Wrestling Contest
Conor OBrian/Titus ONeil/Byron Saxton b. Lucky Cannon/Darren Young/Jacob Novak ONeil pinned Novak after a sitout powerbomb
Impact
Scott Steiner b. Shannon Moore Frankensteiner
Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck Flipping Cutter off the top
Winter b. Velvet Sky Choke
Kurt Angle b. Rob Terry Ankle Lock
Bully Ray/Matt Hardy/Abyss b. Sting/Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam Bubba Bomb to Van Dam
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Corre interefered
Cody Rhodes b. Chris Masters Cross Rhodes
Wrestlemania 27
Edge b. Alberto Del Rio Spear
Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio Cross Rhodes
Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre Big Show pinned Slater after a punch
Randy Orton b. CM Punk RKO
Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match
The Undertaker b. HHH Hells Gate
Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler Snooki pinned McCool after a splash
The Miz b. John Cena Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock
Impact got a 1.2.
Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
This is the final show before the big one and from what I understand its mainly a highlight show which is fine. There were some matches taped at Raw so at least well get some original content. Expect a lot of we see so and so from Raw on here tonight but thats all well and good for a show like this. Lets get to it.
Theme some opens us up. For once I have to watch this live as there was no pre-air.
Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston
Wade looks good with the title. Kofi charges straight at him which gets him nowhere as Barrett kicks him to the floor and takes over. Back in the ring a pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett channels his inner Chris Hero and locks on a Cravate but rams Kofis head into Barretts knee as he does it for some added punishment.
Kofi comes back with kicks and strikes plus that great dropkick for two. SOS doesnt work. There are water stains in the ring which must be from something Ive forgotten about from Raw. Top rope cross body gets two and heres the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise runs into a big boot as Booker rambles about Kofi wasting time. Wasteland doesnt work and theres Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere, but theres Corre for the DQ at 3:57.
The beatdown begins until Santino/Kozlov come out to get beaten down also. Show and Kane come out for the real save. Kofi has nothing to do at Mania at all does he?
We recap last week with Cody jumping Rey and trying to hurt him.
Striker is with Cody who is in the shadows with a towel over his head. Cody says that hes a very bitter man that doesnt even want to look in the mirror anymore. This is a rather serious promo and it comes off pretty well. Cody says that on Sunday Rey has to contend with this, revealing his mask, and this, holding up the knee brace. Good stuff, but then again I like Cody.
Back and we get clips from Axxess where we have Todd and the Bellas. There are areas such as Hornswoggles house under the ring and Vinces destroyed limo. The Bellas brag a bit and it sounds like a CM Punk chant in the background.
We get a recap of Taker vs. HHH, as in the same one from Raw with the song. Later tonight well see the staredown from Raw. The video really is good.
We recap Orton vs. Punk which had a great build and then it just fell apart. The continuity was a nice touch but they kind of lost the flare with the Nexus guys getting destroyed over and over. At least its one on one at the PPV.
Theres an exhibit at Axxess where you can emulate various wrestlers entrances.
We talk about Shawn getting into the Hall of Fame a bit and then get a video about the LOD from Raw. Damn right they should be in the Hall of Fame.
We get the entire Swagger vs. Lawler match from Monday which Ill throw in the recap from my Raw review in order to fill in some space here.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger
Lawler has different music here. Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him. Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him. Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keepers area. Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20. Thats really the only ending they could go with here. Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box. Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.
Back on Smackdown now, even though Id assume this was taped before the segment we just recapped occurred, with Jerry Lawler coming out to address Cole. Lawler talks about Cole making fun of his mother, his father and bringing his son out to insult Jerry. Cole left before Lawler came out here. Jerry says that if Cole was here, neither would make it to Wrestlemania. Austin is going to cancel out Swagger on Sunday and its just the two of them. On Sunday Lawler is going to do what every fan wants him to do: shut Coles mouth.
We get a video from the Mania press conference which had a lot of mainstream press. Allegedly Cena was booed to the point of tears which is saying a lot. Snooki looks like some kind of Xena Warrior Elf.
At Axxess you can see Austins ATV and Takers graveyard, which would be awesome if Axxess hadnt already happened. Just to tease us in the background you can see Santino/Kozlov about to face the Usos live at Axxess. Clearly we cant watch that though right? Wow did I really just ask to see Santino/Kozlov vs. the Usos? I must be bored.
We reair the Shawn/Taker/HHH thing from Monday. Ive commented on it twice already so Ive got nothing here. Eats up about 15 minutes.
Video of the Miz on Conan which really was funny. Coco is officially the Ginja Ninja with the catchphrase of Step into my dojo mofo. Miz is hilarious when hes allowed to just be himself.
Sin Cara is coming.
Theres a booth at Axxess with the old WWF/E title and some autographed stuff. Trish has her own fashion booth which just makes me want to see her in them rather than on mannequins.
Time to talk about Trish/Snooki. Oh joy. Since all of the segments have been short, we see all of them involving Snooki.
We recap Del Rio vs. Edge which is more or less running down the history of Alberto who somehow only debuted in the fall.
Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters
Heres your last match before Wrestlemania people. Cherish it. Cody has a new dark version of Smoke and Mirrors which is pretty awesome sounding. Cody goes straight at him which gets him nowhere. Cole comes out during the match as Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster to take over. Mad heat on Cole which I dont think is legit. Cody gets a crossface chickenwing (what is up with people using that recently?) and calls some spots. Masters gets a Samoan Drop but cant get the Master Lock. Cross Rhodes ends this at 2:10. Just a squash.
Rey runs out but cant get 619. Cody avoids it again with the second time seeing Rey expose the knee brace. Here lies Cody Rhodes: the latest awesome character to be sacrificed to the King of Mystery. You know its coming.
We talk about Jericho on Dancing with the Stars with Matthews saying Jericho won the Undisputed Title at Wrestlemania. Are they altering THAT now too?
Cenas cars are at Axxess and some of them are one of a kind.
Naturally the last part of the show is reairing Rock and Cena with Miz on the side from Raw. I cant get over the fact that the Attitude Adjustment actually happened. Im pulling for Miz on Sunday, just to hear his promo the next night. Cena leaves Rock laying to end the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Corre interefered
Cody Rhodes b. Chris Masters Cross Rhodes
Saturday
Nothing today since everything is getting ready for Mania.
Sunday
Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson
Well here we are. Its the biggest night of the year and were heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night weve all looked forward to, and theres that Rock guy here too. Lets get to it.
The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. Im assuming the US Title match will be later.
Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.
Keri Hilson, some singer I dont know, sings America the Beautiful.
The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: heres THE ROCK! The Great One looks well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually its a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.
Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.
Theres the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio
WHAT THE HELL??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so hes driving out of it. Thats awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Heres Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because its a big match. Cant fault their logic there.
Im watching on a stream so Ill do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.
As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.
Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.
Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesnt go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.
Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They .they couldnt really be putting that on last could they?
Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Reys character this year: Captain America. Ok thats not bad.
Rey helps Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.
A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. Thats one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which Id assume is to get his arms tingling right?
Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and its a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted thats what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Codys face being sent into the apron.
Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America porn movie. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Reys throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Reys knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.
Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Codys mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Reys not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Codys mask on and Im not sure if Cody knows it or not.
Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets .two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.
Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour hes got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and its again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.
Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he cant talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.
Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane
The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but Im pretty sure if was officially announced. I cant complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so its off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You cant really say cleans house for one guy.
Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.
Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And its Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the Peoples Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae slaps Rocks ass.
Rock does the around the corner thing again and ITS AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. Theyre both retired and its an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.
We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I dont remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.
Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. Thats a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesnt work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.
Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Ortons papa (that was Bobs finisher).
Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and its almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesnt call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and theres the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but its not going to be the finish anyway.
Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because hes not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesnt break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know its not hitting here.
Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets .not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Heres your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.
Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cenas #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And its Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rocks line. I dont care for Herman so this was nothing at all.
Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.
Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.
Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.
Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.
Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.
Duggan gets a nice ovation and theres a bowtie on his 2x4.
And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.
We get a Wrestlemania Recall .which is from Raw. Its Cole throwing soda in Lawlers face. I hope this is next and it is.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isnt the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.
Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.
Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?
Lawler pulls on Coles hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the damn box and beats the hell out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.
Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. Thats something I really didnt want to know. The fans say Cole cant wrestle. Well hes not a wrestler so I think thats ok. The fans think this is bullshit. Such an impatient generation.
Cole tries a Vader Bomb (fuck that Vader Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesnt seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught. A mudhole is stomped .kind of.
Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? Theres a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on. The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and theres a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down its a jumping punch from the middle rope.
That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure its really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and theres the bell. Damn it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.
Post match its time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesnt drink it (hes a known non-drinker). Theres a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasnt drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fools joke. Amazingly its not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed. This should have been unfuckupable and they fucked it up. Im in awe of their utter stupidity here.
We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. Im still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.
Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldnt do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes Im harping on it but man that was idiotic.
We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package weve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because theres nothing else for him to do.
Undertaker vs. HHH
Theres a rock version of Takers theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait thats for HHH. Oh damn its For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Thats cool but dude, its HHH. Ah theres All About the Game. Thats more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.
The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.
We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all pissed off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesnt work but this time you cant blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.
Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but theres a backdrop off the table to the floor and hes holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasnt great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.
We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.
Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. Thats never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.
HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Games back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as were in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course .not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know theyre wanting this to be epic and while its good they feel like theyre trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.
Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead its a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and theres a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didnt have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.
A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and hes in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts whats wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker cant hold it.
Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and its sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hells Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but cant get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so Im not sure how accurate that is to the second.
Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. Im not sure if this is legit or not but Im leaning towards it being so.
Good time for a Dont Try This at Home no?
Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.
Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki
Please .make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but its official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And heres the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess shes an improvement over Bieber. I cant wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.
The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesnt want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.
Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: dont bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. Youll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.
Theres a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. Thats always cool to hear.
Its time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and its time to go. I guess were running behind. Ah ok heres a package as we see Mizs rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.
This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.
Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena
Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIzs moment and its working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cenas big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cenas theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.
Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cenas 8th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesnt last long.
Theyre in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.
Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but cant get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Lets Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.
Down goes the referee and wouldnt you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.
Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big ass spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. Theyre both dead and this is going to be a damn double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This cant be. That had better be a legit injury or were not done yet.
And heres Rock to make sure this doesnt suck. Theres an e-mail and Rock says that it doesnt matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.
Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it's a People's Elbow for Miz.
Results
Edge b. Alberto Del Rio Spear
Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio Cross Rhodes
Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre Big Show pinned Slater after a punch
Randy Orton b. CM Punk RKO
Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match
The Undertaker b. HHH Hells Gate
Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler Snooki pinned McCool after a splash
The Miz b. John Cena Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock
Quick Results
Raw
Edge/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay Spear to Clay
Santino Marella b. Justin Gabriel Cobra
Jack Swagger b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Lawler used a chair
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison High Cross to Bryan
NXT
Titus ONeil won the Arm Wrestling Contest
Conor OBrian/Titus ONeil/Byron Saxton b. Lucky Cannon/Darren Young/Jacob Novak ONeil pinned Novak after a sitout powerbomb
Impact
Scott Steiner b. Shannon Moore Frankensteiner
Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck Flipping Cutter off the top
Winter b. Velvet Sky Choke
Kurt Angle b. Rob Terry Ankle Lock
Bully Ray/Matt Hardy/Abyss b. Sting/Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam Bubba Bomb to Van Dam
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Corre interefered
Cody Rhodes b. Chris Masters Cross Rhodes
Wrestlemania 27
Edge b. Alberto Del Rio Spear
Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio Cross Rhodes
Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre Big Show pinned Slater after a punch
Randy Orton b. CM Punk RKO
Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match
The Undertaker b. HHH Hells Gate
Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler Snooki pinned McCool after a splash
The Miz b. John Cena Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock