klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.8, down from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 26, 2012
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's the final show before Wrestlemania so I wouldn't expect much in ring action tonight. They're probably worried about potential injuries and that's completely understandable. This is usually the least interesting show of the year and that's ok because they have the biggest show of the year in less than a week. Let's get to it.
Rock and Cena square off face to face tonight.
Booker T is here for commentary as well. They're taping some matches for Smackdown tonight as well so that's why he's in the house.
Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane
Now there's a different kind of heel team. Bryan kisses AJ before the match, making me very jealous of him. He starts with Orton who takes him down quickly for the circle stomp. Bryan comes back with some kicks and the moonsault out of the corner. Not that it matters as Orton takes him down with a clothesline for two. Off to Sheamus so Bryan bails out to Kane. This would be a pretty awesome pairing if it was 13 years ago for Kane.
They slug it out with Sheamus hitting a knee lift but Kane hits an elbow. Sheamus goes up for the top rope shoulder for two. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross but goes after Bryan instead. Kane knocks him to the floor and Bryan hits the knee from the apron to take Sheamus down. We take a break and come back with Bryan holding Sheamus in a headlock. Everything breaks down quickly with Orton coming in and cleaning house. Kane gets rammed into the post but Bryan hits a baseball slide to take Orton out. Back in and Kane pounds on the now hurt Orton.
He hooks on a chinlock and then adds his side slam for two. Kane goes up and hits his clothesline before calling for the chokeslam. Orton snaps off a dropkick to block it and it's a double tag to bring in Sheamus and Bryan. Sheamous pounds him down and hits the Irish Curse. The good guys knock Kane to the floor and Orton follows. RKO on the floor is countered and Orton goes into the post. AJ gets in the way of the Brogue Kick and Sheamus gets crotched. Kane chokeslams Sheamus and Bryan pins him at 11:40.
We get a clip from last year's Mania with Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on Cena. I have a feeling we'll be seeing about a thousand of these tonight.
Jerry talks about the Battle of the GM's and Cole is in the ring in a Team Johnny shirt. He's the official announcer of Johnny's team. Here's the team namesake who announces Vickie as the official flag bearer. Booker introduces Teddy who introduces
David Otunga vs. Santino Marella
Santino grabs a headlock to start but Otunga runs him over with a shoulder. Otunga runs him over again and grabs the Team Ace flag. Horny comes in and it's a battle of the flags. This lets Santino load up the Cobra after Otunga hits himself in the head with the flag pole. Cobra ends this at 1:30. Tully Blanchard, Magnum TA, Chris Benoit, Santino Marella ladies and gentlemen.
Teddy and Santino abuse Ace post match, but Miz runs in to break up the Cobra, officially joining Team Ace. Johnny calls it Team Teddy but then corrects himself, because expecting him to remember his own name is too much for him in one take. No word on who the sixth man on Team Teddy is yet.
Rock and Cena challenge each other the night after Mania. I still don't get why the Corre interfered.
Long video on HHH vs. Undertaker with Shawn on the side. Again I have to ask: they do know that HHH lost last year right?
Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly
Eve controls to start but ducks her head so Kelly can do her screaming headscissors. Moonsault misses and Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:31. Yes they gave it that much time.
Rock and Cena teamed together at Survivor Series. Still so stupid.
Christian vs. CM Punk
Before the match, Jericho pops up on screen and says he has some new information. Punk's mom has no vices, but Punk was born before his parents were married, making him the definition of a bastard. Christian jumps Punk and lays him out, sending him to the floor. I never heard a bell so I don't know if this is the match or not.
Punk goes off on Christian, ramming his head into the table and hitting the high kick followed by a TON of elbows to the side of his head. There's a GTS onto the steps followed by an Anaconda Vice. Psycho Punk is working for me. Referees come outt o break it up but Punk jumps over them and puts the hold on again. No match obviously.
Video on Axxess.
Christian may have reinjured his neck so there's a chance he won't be at Mania.
Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins
I really hope Brodus is the last member of Team Teddy. He needs something to do. Hawkins takes Brodus down at the knee and hits a bulldog for one. Jerry keeps calling him Curtis. Headbutt to the stomach and a right hand to the same place set up a knee lift, the t-bone suplex and What The Funk ends this at 1:08.
Rock and Cena have had a war of words. This is confined to the last month or so.
Big Show vs. Primo
Christian is officially out of the GM match on Sunday. Chokeslam ends this in 47 seconds. This is my big complaint with WWE lately: why did this need to be one of the tag champions? Why in the world could this not be say, JTG?
Cody comes out and makes fun of Big Show post match. You know the drill here I'm sure.
Lord Tensai is coming.
The Bellas argue about Johnny vs. Teddy. Ryder comes up and gets on their nerves. They leave and Eve comes up. She sweet talks him again and asks what hotel Ryder will be at. She invites him for a visit after Wrestlemania.
Punk says ask Christian how he's feeling. What Jericho said about his father is true, but the stuff about his sister and mom isn't. He's not a bastard. He's the best wrestler in the world. Big pop for that.
Great Khali vs. Mark Henry
Drew McIntyre is replacing Christian. Both GM's distract their opponents. Khali chops him a lot but the World's Strongest Slam ends this in 50 seconds.
Post match Ace throws Teddy in to Henry and waves out Team Johnny to block the entrance. Henry takes forever to do anything until Kofi breaks through, using part of Team Teddy for a springboard....and he jumps right into the World's Strongest Slam to take him out. World's Strongest Slam to Teddy is loaded up but Booker makes the save. So he's the last member of Team Teddy? Seriously? With EVERYONE they could pick, Booker T is the last member? He accepts the spot and we get a Spinarooni.
Here's Rock for the final sell for Wrestlemania. Rock talks about how ever since Wrestlemania XX, everyone has asked him when he's coming back. He was told to drop his pants, turn his head and cough, then asked when he's coming back. Then he told his dentist that he wasn't dropping his pants. His dentist is freaky that way. Betty White offered him pie for the answer and he declined.
It was last year at Wrestlemania in Georgia (pop) when he decided. The next night he knew he had to do it and it was because of the people. There's only one man that the millions want to see Rock face and that's John Cena. Mostly heat on Cena after the name drop there. Rock talks about how Rock's last Wrestlemania match was the same night as Cena's first, and since then Cena has become a huge star. However, he's never faced anyone like the Rock.
Cue Cena who says that Rock is half right: Rock is never going to face someone like Cena. Rock may be the best trash talker ever, because he brought Cena's mom into things. He may be a great trash talker, but he's not the first. There was a ten year gap in which everyone has talked trash about John Cena. The fans start the dueling chant (Rock isn't mentioned) and Cena says the words of the chant. Everyone has turned their back on the WWE Universe, except Cena, who rises above and wins.
That right there is what gets to the fans that hate Cena: they give him their best and he keeps coming. As much as they hate him, they know he's going to win at Wrestlemania. He knows they hate it, but they know it's true. Cena has some stats for Rock. Cena has been in the WWE longer than Rock. Rock was here during the Attitude Era when things were awesome, but Cena was here when it wasn't cool to be a WWE Superstar. He's the one that beats the WWE drum and says he loves to be here. No matter how much you hear it, everyone knows he means it.
That's why Cena has to win on Sunday. No matter what happens, Rock is staring in G.I. Joe this summer. It's going to make him an even bigger star. But after Wrestlemania, the WWE is still Cena's life. Rock is just standing there taking all this. Cena says he's not going to let a visitor come in here and take his life from him. Cena has to win because no one remembers second place. This is all he's got and he has to win it.
Now Rock says that it's important to Cena. Cena was talking about the people. Rock isn't a visitor to WWE. He built this house that Cena lives in now. Rock says the fans know that there's never been an opponent Cena can't overcome....until now. The fans know that Rock has come back to beat Cena. No one has ever been able to say that he's walked into Wrestlemania and beaten Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena. Rock needs to beat Cena to become the best of all time. That's on a professional level.
On a personal level, Rock just doesn't like him. In six days, Rock is going to give Cena the beating of a lifetime and everyone knows it. Cena says that's a fine speech, but it doesn't matter what the Rock thinks. He's going to put this in terms Rock can understand. On April 1, Rock will be able to see Cena, because he'll be the one standing over Rock with his hand raised. And that's it.
Results
Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Sheamus/Randy Orton Bryan pinned Sheamus after a chokeslam from Kane
Santino Marella b. David Otunga Cobra
Kelly Kelly b. Eve Torres Rolling Cradle
Brodus Clay b. Curt Hawkins What The Funk
Big Show b. Primo Chokeslam
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.0.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: March 28, 2012
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
Who would have thought that when we started this season that it would run through Wrestlemania 28? That's the point we're going to reach unless there's some divine intervention and this season ends after today. Now the good thing is they have an angle that has a mystery to it after last week with Striker disappearing. Let's get to it.
Hunico vs. Derrick Bateman
Bateman controls to start but gets backdropped into the corner as Hunico takes over. Elbow drop gets two. Oh make that one. Regal explains why Camacho hangs out with Hunico, which is apparently due to a gang attack that Hunico bailed him out of, resulting in a stab wound which is why Hunico wears a shirt in the ring. See how easy a story that was to explain?
Bateman gets beaten down for awhile until he comes back with a cross body. Hunico hits one at the same time though and both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Hunico chopping and pounding on Bateman. His shirt is torn now too. Hunico goes up but jumps into a dropkick as Bateman gets a breather. He launches Hunico over his head and into the buckle chest first.
Hunico pounds down on him again as Regal is talking about WCW. He seems to think it was funny and I can't say I argue. Bateman tries to suplex Hunico in from the apron but Hunico falls on top. Bateman rolls through for two but stops to go after Camacho. The distraction allows Hunico to hit his modified Angle Slam (it's the Angle Slam but he hooks the other guy's head, almost like a torture rack) for the pin at 7:00.
Video on Rock vs. Cena from Once In A Lifetime, which wasn't bad.
Video on HHH vs. Taker, which I think is the same one from Raw.
Video on Punk vs. Jericho, which I don't think has aired before. It's about Punk's rise to the top of WWE over the years and then shows Jericho exposing Punk's family history.
Maxine is on a phone and wants a list next week. Curtis comes up and apparently the list is about Regal, who is into some freaky stuff. This is news? Maxine gets off the phone and Curtis says that the company has been trying to keep Striker's whereabouts on the DL. It happened on NXT. How much more DL can you get?
Maxine yells at him because Curtis hasn't found out anything about Striker. Watson and Riley pop up and Watson yells at her for taking the spotlight during his match by rubbing Regal's feet. Maxine asks how mad Watson is at her in a strange bit. They go down the hall and run into Natalya and Kidd. They're talking about the economy. Ok then. The walk continues and they run into Gabriel. I think they're looking for who stole Striker.
Now they run into Titus and leave, but the camera stays on Titus. Young comes in with a flower pot which Young says is for Tamina. O'Neil says take her to McDonalds. Young says he lies, cheats and steals in the ring but he can't do that with Tamina. I'm not the biggest Eddie fan ever, but NO WAY does Young deserve to be able to say that.
Curtis and Maxine pop up again and accuse Titus of the kidnapping (they haven't actually said those words yet, but rather it was you every time). Titus tries to kiss her for some reason but Curtis pulls her away. Young and O'Neil leave and Maxine gets a text. The kidnappers say that after Mania, she'll give them what they want and they'll get Striker back. LONG backstage segment here but it covered a few things which is good.
Video on the Divas tag, I think from Extra. I have no issue looking at Maria Menunos.
Titus O'Neil vs. Jey Uso
Young and Jimmy Uso are on commentary. So I'm assuming we're not going to talk about the Striker stuff on commentary are we? Josh points out that the Usos aren't that successful when they're in singles action. Jimmy says that's true, because they're a team. Simple yet true. This is your usual power vs. speed match with Titus controlling early but Jey taking him down. He goes up but Titus rolls to the floor before the jump and we go to a break.
Back with Titus hammering on him, using the clubbing forearms. Jey gets in a shot and comes off the top with a cross body for two. Titus runs him over with another clothesline for two. Off to a chinlock to eat up some time as Jey comes up with exactly the same kind of offense you would expect from him. The Umaga attack hits in the corner as does the Samoan Drop. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and the Clash of the Titus ends this at 6:22.
Tamina comes out to check on Jey and glares at Young for some reason.
Results
Hunico b. Derrick Bateman Spinning Torture Rack Slam
Titus O'Neil b. Jey Uso Clash of the Titus
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
I really hope this is an improvement over last week's less than stellar effort. The main story is probably going to be Hogan being convinced to take the GM job which we all know that he's going to take. Hopefully they have more time for Storm this week as he got pushed aside for Hogan and Garrett last week, which is ridiculous but such is life in TNA. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with Dixie, Sting and Hogan making a decision about the GM spot.
Dixie says she's given Hogan a week to think about it and hopefully she'll know some more tonight.
Here's Roode with additional security this week. Wasn't he not supposed to be seen until Lockdown according to his lawyer? Roode says you all better respect him because without him, this company is nothing. At Victory Road, Roode accomplished his goal and proved that he's better than Sting ever was. As for Dixie, if she wants to stick her nose into the champ's business, she'll get what's coming to her. As for what the lawyer said last week, it only has to do with him wrestling.
The security is here for Storm's benefit, not his own. When you're the champ, you don't need any luck. That brings out Storm who makes fun of the mall cops. Storm goes after Roode but Bully Ray runs out to deck Storm. Storm gets in one shot and Ray runs. Cowboy tries the superkick but Roode runs. Storm says he wants both Roode and Ray tonight and the champ says ok.
Gail gives Madison a tiara/crown. She's the queen again.
Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne
Madison jumps her during the entrance and Tazz has nothing to say. How in the world did he fall from a tough miserable man to Pigeon Man? Madison takes over to start but Velvet gets in a boot to set up a basement dropkick for two. Madison gets in a few shots and a slam but Velvet comes back with a spear. A bulldog puts Rayne down the sitout Pedigree (apparently called In Yo Face) ends this at 2:58.
Velvet says she's coming to get her Knockouts' Title back.
Ray doesn't like getting chummy with Roode for tonight.
We go to what looks like a park where Hogan and Dixie's meeting is recorded. Hogan takes some of the blame for the whole going crazy and taking over the company. This goes on for a few minutes and basically is Hogan saying I used to be great but I don't know if I'm right for it anymore. Dixie says we need you and begs him a bit because that's what you have to do with Hulk. The end result: they'll talk more in the arena tonight. This ran about five minutes which we'll never get back.
We recap Crimson and Morgan's breakup. They fight next.
Angle says no rematch for Hardy because Hardy is a crybaby. If Hardy gets a win over Mr. Anderson tonight, he can have his rematch.
We get ready for Crimson vs. Morgan but here's Austin Aries to interrupt. He says he's got a problem right now and that problem is called Bully Ray. Ray interrupted him in a title defense last week and that's not ok. Aries' balls are as big as Ray's calves. He respects a guy like James Storm who stands up for himself, so if Storm wants a partner tonight, Aries would love to help him out.
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson
They're brawling in the aisle as we come back from a break. Into the ring they go with Morgan pounding down onto the head of the Red Enthusiast. Crimson makes a comeback and they head to the floor. Back inside with Crimson in control but Morgan comes back with some rights....and there's a spinebuster to put him right back down for two. Crimson misses a spear in the corner and Morgan takes over, but they brawl to the floor and it's a double countout at 3:48.
They brawl out of the arena.
Joseph Park goes to look for Abyss info in the technical truck. Apparently he (Joseph) used to play college football.
Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy
If Hardy wins he gets a shot at Angle at Lockdown. The Guns are back next week apparently. Feeling out process to start with no one having a clear advantage. The announcers have to talk about the Bischoffs because this is TNA after all. Now a shift to talking about Hogan. Jeff hits his double leg between Anderson's legs for two but Anderson comes back with elbow drops.
He calls for the Mic Check but Jeff elbows out. Twist of Fate is countered and they ram heads with Jeff falling to the floor. And here's Kurt to jump Hardy. He hadn't done it yet when I typed that. It was just that obvious. Low blow and a post shot before Jeff is sent back in and the Mic Check ends this at 4:27.
Here's the debut of Longnecks and Rednecks, Storm's music video. It's set in a bar and has some clips of Storm in TNA.
ODB and Eric plan the wedding. This is annoying. Eric wants to wear the dress. ODB finally gives up and fires the good looking blonde wedding planner. They're going to get married three days before Lockdown inside the cage. That's in two weeks.
Here's Eric with yet another challenge for Garrett. Eric talks about how great he is and how he has a contract that says he can get TV time whenever he wants. Every day he makes a checklist of what he wants to accomplish. On his recent list, he's wanted to get rid of Sting as GM, get Dixie to find a less competent GM, and increase his personal wealth, all of which he's done. However, he can't get rid of his son, so he calls Garrett out right now.
Eric says that Garrett has a chance to leave with his health, because at Lockdown Eric wants to see him face Gunner again. Garrett can walk away right now though, but Garrett grabs the mic and calls Eric a jackass. He's not going anywhere and putting him in a cage is a dumb idea.
Video on Storm training out in the country. He talks about how Roode broke up Beer Money and how the fans want him to take Roode out.
Hogan arrives at 10:30.
Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries/James Storm
Aries and Ray start but after Ray runs his mouth for awhile he bails. Storm tries to tag himself in to face Roode but the champ runs. Aries takes Roode down and we take a break as he wants the Bully. Back with Aries getting what he wants as the announcers talk about Hogan's decision. Aries takes Ray to the mat and makes him look like a fool before chilling in the corner. He pounds on Ray but charges into a big old boot.
We get into standard tag team match formula with the heels pounding on Austin with double teaming tactics. Aries elbow Roode down and takes out Ray with a missile dropkick. There's the hot tag as Storm cleans house. Roode is caught but Ray makes the save. Closing Time hits Ray and Roode spits beer in his face, allowing the Last Call to hit for the pin at 12:22.
Here's Dixie to bring out Hogan for the big decision. She believes in Hogan and wants him to take the position. Is it the one he demonstrated in his sex tape? Hogan says he doesn't really want to do it because of what happened with Immortal, but here's Sting to keep up the begging and worship of Hogan, because that's what this company is all about. Oh and he brings out half the faces with him (D-Von doesn't even bring his belt with him). All the big name faces are there: AJ, Storm, Anderson, Morgan, Hardy.....and Garrett of course.
Sting kisses up to Hogan and says take it already. Hogan wants to make sure it's a clean slate and wants a guarantee that Sting will ALWAYS have his back. Sting wants to make sure that it'll be the Eye of the Tiger Hogan. He says he'll have Hulk's back and Hogan takes the job, of course. Gee that was such a big sacrifice for him. Hogan celebrates with the rest of the good guys to end the show.
Results
Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne In Yo Face
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson went to a double countout
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy Mic Check
James Storm/Austin Aries b. Bully Ray/Bobby Roode Last Call to Ray
Smackdown got a 1.8, down from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 26, 2012
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's the final show before Wrestlemania so I wouldn't expect much in ring action tonight. They're probably worried about potential injuries and that's completely understandable. This is usually the least interesting show of the year and that's ok because they have the biggest show of the year in less than a week. Let's get to it.
Rock and Cena square off face to face tonight.
Booker T is here for commentary as well. They're taping some matches for Smackdown tonight as well so that's why he's in the house.
Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane
Now there's a different kind of heel team. Bryan kisses AJ before the match, making me very jealous of him. He starts with Orton who takes him down quickly for the circle stomp. Bryan comes back with some kicks and the moonsault out of the corner. Not that it matters as Orton takes him down with a clothesline for two. Off to Sheamus so Bryan bails out to Kane. This would be a pretty awesome pairing if it was 13 years ago for Kane.
They slug it out with Sheamus hitting a knee lift but Kane hits an elbow. Sheamus goes up for the top rope shoulder for two. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross but goes after Bryan instead. Kane knocks him to the floor and Bryan hits the knee from the apron to take Sheamus down. We take a break and come back with Bryan holding Sheamus in a headlock. Everything breaks down quickly with Orton coming in and cleaning house. Kane gets rammed into the post but Bryan hits a baseball slide to take Orton out. Back in and Kane pounds on the now hurt Orton.
He hooks on a chinlock and then adds his side slam for two. Kane goes up and hits his clothesline before calling for the chokeslam. Orton snaps off a dropkick to block it and it's a double tag to bring in Sheamus and Bryan. Sheamous pounds him down and hits the Irish Curse. The good guys knock Kane to the floor and Orton follows. RKO on the floor is countered and Orton goes into the post. AJ gets in the way of the Brogue Kick and Sheamus gets crotched. Kane chokeslams Sheamus and Bryan pins him at 11:40.
We get a clip from last year's Mania with Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on Cena. I have a feeling we'll be seeing about a thousand of these tonight.
Jerry talks about the Battle of the GM's and Cole is in the ring in a Team Johnny shirt. He's the official announcer of Johnny's team. Here's the team namesake who announces Vickie as the official flag bearer. Booker introduces Teddy who introduces
David Otunga vs. Santino Marella
Santino grabs a headlock to start but Otunga runs him over with a shoulder. Otunga runs him over again and grabs the Team Ace flag. Horny comes in and it's a battle of the flags. This lets Santino load up the Cobra after Otunga hits himself in the head with the flag pole. Cobra ends this at 1:30. Tully Blanchard, Magnum TA, Chris Benoit, Santino Marella ladies and gentlemen.
Teddy and Santino abuse Ace post match, but Miz runs in to break up the Cobra, officially joining Team Ace. Johnny calls it Team Teddy but then corrects himself, because expecting him to remember his own name is too much for him in one take. No word on who the sixth man on Team Teddy is yet.
Rock and Cena challenge each other the night after Mania. I still don't get why the Corre interfered.
Long video on HHH vs. Undertaker with Shawn on the side. Again I have to ask: they do know that HHH lost last year right?
Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly
Eve controls to start but ducks her head so Kelly can do her screaming headscissors. Moonsault misses and Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:31. Yes they gave it that much time.
Rock and Cena teamed together at Survivor Series. Still so stupid.
Christian vs. CM Punk
Before the match, Jericho pops up on screen and says he has some new information. Punk's mom has no vices, but Punk was born before his parents were married, making him the definition of a bastard. Christian jumps Punk and lays him out, sending him to the floor. I never heard a bell so I don't know if this is the match or not.
Punk goes off on Christian, ramming his head into the table and hitting the high kick followed by a TON of elbows to the side of his head. There's a GTS onto the steps followed by an Anaconda Vice. Psycho Punk is working for me. Referees come outt o break it up but Punk jumps over them and puts the hold on again. No match obviously.
Video on Axxess.
Christian may have reinjured his neck so there's a chance he won't be at Mania.
Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins
I really hope Brodus is the last member of Team Teddy. He needs something to do. Hawkins takes Brodus down at the knee and hits a bulldog for one. Jerry keeps calling him Curtis. Headbutt to the stomach and a right hand to the same place set up a knee lift, the t-bone suplex and What The Funk ends this at 1:08.
Rock and Cena have had a war of words. This is confined to the last month or so.
Big Show vs. Primo
Christian is officially out of the GM match on Sunday. Chokeslam ends this in 47 seconds. This is my big complaint with WWE lately: why did this need to be one of the tag champions? Why in the world could this not be say, JTG?
Cody comes out and makes fun of Big Show post match. You know the drill here I'm sure.
Lord Tensai is coming.
The Bellas argue about Johnny vs. Teddy. Ryder comes up and gets on their nerves. They leave and Eve comes up. She sweet talks him again and asks what hotel Ryder will be at. She invites him for a visit after Wrestlemania.
Punk says ask Christian how he's feeling. What Jericho said about his father is true, but the stuff about his sister and mom isn't. He's not a bastard. He's the best wrestler in the world. Big pop for that.
Great Khali vs. Mark Henry
Drew McIntyre is replacing Christian. Both GM's distract their opponents. Khali chops him a lot but the World's Strongest Slam ends this in 50 seconds.
Post match Ace throws Teddy in to Henry and waves out Team Johnny to block the entrance. Henry takes forever to do anything until Kofi breaks through, using part of Team Teddy for a springboard....and he jumps right into the World's Strongest Slam to take him out. World's Strongest Slam to Teddy is loaded up but Booker makes the save. So he's the last member of Team Teddy? Seriously? With EVERYONE they could pick, Booker T is the last member? He accepts the spot and we get a Spinarooni.
Here's Rock for the final sell for Wrestlemania. Rock talks about how ever since Wrestlemania XX, everyone has asked him when he's coming back. He was told to drop his pants, turn his head and cough, then asked when he's coming back. Then he told his dentist that he wasn't dropping his pants. His dentist is freaky that way. Betty White offered him pie for the answer and he declined.
It was last year at Wrestlemania in Georgia (pop) when he decided. The next night he knew he had to do it and it was because of the people. There's only one man that the millions want to see Rock face and that's John Cena. Mostly heat on Cena after the name drop there. Rock talks about how Rock's last Wrestlemania match was the same night as Cena's first, and since then Cena has become a huge star. However, he's never faced anyone like the Rock.
Cue Cena who says that Rock is half right: Rock is never going to face someone like Cena. Rock may be the best trash talker ever, because he brought Cena's mom into things. He may be a great trash talker, but he's not the first. There was a ten year gap in which everyone has talked trash about John Cena. The fans start the dueling chant (Rock isn't mentioned) and Cena says the words of the chant. Everyone has turned their back on the WWE Universe, except Cena, who rises above and wins.
That right there is what gets to the fans that hate Cena: they give him their best and he keeps coming. As much as they hate him, they know he's going to win at Wrestlemania. He knows they hate it, but they know it's true. Cena has some stats for Rock. Cena has been in the WWE longer than Rock. Rock was here during the Attitude Era when things were awesome, but Cena was here when it wasn't cool to be a WWE Superstar. He's the one that beats the WWE drum and says he loves to be here. No matter how much you hear it, everyone knows he means it.
That's why Cena has to win on Sunday. No matter what happens, Rock is staring in G.I. Joe this summer. It's going to make him an even bigger star. But after Wrestlemania, the WWE is still Cena's life. Rock is just standing there taking all this. Cena says he's not going to let a visitor come in here and take his life from him. Cena has to win because no one remembers second place. This is all he's got and he has to win it.
Now Rock says that it's important to Cena. Cena was talking about the people. Rock isn't a visitor to WWE. He built this house that Cena lives in now. Rock says the fans know that there's never been an opponent Cena can't overcome....until now. The fans know that Rock has come back to beat Cena. No one has ever been able to say that he's walked into Wrestlemania and beaten Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena. Rock needs to beat Cena to become the best of all time. That's on a professional level.
On a personal level, Rock just doesn't like him. In six days, Rock is going to give Cena the beating of a lifetime and everyone knows it. Cena says that's a fine speech, but it doesn't matter what the Rock thinks. He's going to put this in terms Rock can understand. On April 1, Rock will be able to see Cena, because he'll be the one standing over Rock with his hand raised. And that's it.
Results
Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Sheamus/Randy Orton Bryan pinned Sheamus after a chokeslam from Kane
Santino Marella b. David Otunga Cobra
Kelly Kelly b. Eve Torres Rolling Cradle
Brodus Clay b. Curt Hawkins What The Funk
Big Show b. Primo Chokeslam
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.0.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: March 28, 2012
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
Who would have thought that when we started this season that it would run through Wrestlemania 28? That's the point we're going to reach unless there's some divine intervention and this season ends after today. Now the good thing is they have an angle that has a mystery to it after last week with Striker disappearing. Let's get to it.
Hunico vs. Derrick Bateman
Bateman controls to start but gets backdropped into the corner as Hunico takes over. Elbow drop gets two. Oh make that one. Regal explains why Camacho hangs out with Hunico, which is apparently due to a gang attack that Hunico bailed him out of, resulting in a stab wound which is why Hunico wears a shirt in the ring. See how easy a story that was to explain?
Bateman gets beaten down for awhile until he comes back with a cross body. Hunico hits one at the same time though and both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Hunico chopping and pounding on Bateman. His shirt is torn now too. Hunico goes up but jumps into a dropkick as Bateman gets a breather. He launches Hunico over his head and into the buckle chest first.
Hunico pounds down on him again as Regal is talking about WCW. He seems to think it was funny and I can't say I argue. Bateman tries to suplex Hunico in from the apron but Hunico falls on top. Bateman rolls through for two but stops to go after Camacho. The distraction allows Hunico to hit his modified Angle Slam (it's the Angle Slam but he hooks the other guy's head, almost like a torture rack) for the pin at 7:00.
Video on Rock vs. Cena from Once In A Lifetime, which wasn't bad.
Video on HHH vs. Taker, which I think is the same one from Raw.
Video on Punk vs. Jericho, which I don't think has aired before. It's about Punk's rise to the top of WWE over the years and then shows Jericho exposing Punk's family history.
Maxine is on a phone and wants a list next week. Curtis comes up and apparently the list is about Regal, who is into some freaky stuff. This is news? Maxine gets off the phone and Curtis says that the company has been trying to keep Striker's whereabouts on the DL. It happened on NXT. How much more DL can you get?
Maxine yells at him because Curtis hasn't found out anything about Striker. Watson and Riley pop up and Watson yells at her for taking the spotlight during his match by rubbing Regal's feet. Maxine asks how mad Watson is at her in a strange bit. They go down the hall and run into Natalya and Kidd. They're talking about the economy. Ok then. The walk continues and they run into Gabriel. I think they're looking for who stole Striker.
Now they run into Titus and leave, but the camera stays on Titus. Young comes in with a flower pot which Young says is for Tamina. O'Neil says take her to McDonalds. Young says he lies, cheats and steals in the ring but he can't do that with Tamina. I'm not the biggest Eddie fan ever, but NO WAY does Young deserve to be able to say that.
Curtis and Maxine pop up again and accuse Titus of the kidnapping (they haven't actually said those words yet, but rather it was you every time). Titus tries to kiss her for some reason but Curtis pulls her away. Young and O'Neil leave and Maxine gets a text. The kidnappers say that after Mania, she'll give them what they want and they'll get Striker back. LONG backstage segment here but it covered a few things which is good.
Video on the Divas tag, I think from Extra. I have no issue looking at Maria Menunos.
Titus O'Neil vs. Jey Uso
Young and Jimmy Uso are on commentary. So I'm assuming we're not going to talk about the Striker stuff on commentary are we? Josh points out that the Usos aren't that successful when they're in singles action. Jimmy says that's true, because they're a team. Simple yet true. This is your usual power vs. speed match with Titus controlling early but Jey taking him down. He goes up but Titus rolls to the floor before the jump and we go to a break.
Back with Titus hammering on him, using the clubbing forearms. Jey gets in a shot and comes off the top with a cross body for two. Titus runs him over with another clothesline for two. Off to a chinlock to eat up some time as Jey comes up with exactly the same kind of offense you would expect from him. The Umaga attack hits in the corner as does the Samoan Drop. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and the Clash of the Titus ends this at 6:22.
Tamina comes out to check on Jey and glares at Young for some reason.
Results
Hunico b. Derrick Bateman Spinning Torture Rack Slam
Titus O'Neil b. Jey Uso Clash of the Titus
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
I really hope this is an improvement over last week's less than stellar effort. The main story is probably going to be Hogan being convinced to take the GM job which we all know that he's going to take. Hopefully they have more time for Storm this week as he got pushed aside for Hogan and Garrett last week, which is ridiculous but such is life in TNA. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with Dixie, Sting and Hogan making a decision about the GM spot.
Dixie says she's given Hogan a week to think about it and hopefully she'll know some more tonight.
Here's Roode with additional security this week. Wasn't he not supposed to be seen until Lockdown according to his lawyer? Roode says you all better respect him because without him, this company is nothing. At Victory Road, Roode accomplished his goal and proved that he's better than Sting ever was. As for Dixie, if she wants to stick her nose into the champ's business, she'll get what's coming to her. As for what the lawyer said last week, it only has to do with him wrestling.
The security is here for Storm's benefit, not his own. When you're the champ, you don't need any luck. That brings out Storm who makes fun of the mall cops. Storm goes after Roode but Bully Ray runs out to deck Storm. Storm gets in one shot and Ray runs. Cowboy tries the superkick but Roode runs. Storm says he wants both Roode and Ray tonight and the champ says ok.
Gail gives Madison a tiara/crown. She's the queen again.
Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne
Madison jumps her during the entrance and Tazz has nothing to say. How in the world did he fall from a tough miserable man to Pigeon Man? Madison takes over to start but Velvet gets in a boot to set up a basement dropkick for two. Madison gets in a few shots and a slam but Velvet comes back with a spear. A bulldog puts Rayne down the sitout Pedigree (apparently called In Yo Face) ends this at 2:58.
Velvet says she's coming to get her Knockouts' Title back.
Ray doesn't like getting chummy with Roode for tonight.
We go to what looks like a park where Hogan and Dixie's meeting is recorded. Hogan takes some of the blame for the whole going crazy and taking over the company. This goes on for a few minutes and basically is Hogan saying I used to be great but I don't know if I'm right for it anymore. Dixie says we need you and begs him a bit because that's what you have to do with Hulk. The end result: they'll talk more in the arena tonight. This ran about five minutes which we'll never get back.
We recap Crimson and Morgan's breakup. They fight next.
Angle says no rematch for Hardy because Hardy is a crybaby. If Hardy gets a win over Mr. Anderson tonight, he can have his rematch.
We get ready for Crimson vs. Morgan but here's Austin Aries to interrupt. He says he's got a problem right now and that problem is called Bully Ray. Ray interrupted him in a title defense last week and that's not ok. Aries' balls are as big as Ray's calves. He respects a guy like James Storm who stands up for himself, so if Storm wants a partner tonight, Aries would love to help him out.
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson
They're brawling in the aisle as we come back from a break. Into the ring they go with Morgan pounding down onto the head of the Red Enthusiast. Crimson makes a comeback and they head to the floor. Back inside with Crimson in control but Morgan comes back with some rights....and there's a spinebuster to put him right back down for two. Crimson misses a spear in the corner and Morgan takes over, but they brawl to the floor and it's a double countout at 3:48.
They brawl out of the arena.
Joseph Park goes to look for Abyss info in the technical truck. Apparently he (Joseph) used to play college football.
Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy
If Hardy wins he gets a shot at Angle at Lockdown. The Guns are back next week apparently. Feeling out process to start with no one having a clear advantage. The announcers have to talk about the Bischoffs because this is TNA after all. Now a shift to talking about Hogan. Jeff hits his double leg between Anderson's legs for two but Anderson comes back with elbow drops.
He calls for the Mic Check but Jeff elbows out. Twist of Fate is countered and they ram heads with Jeff falling to the floor. And here's Kurt to jump Hardy. He hadn't done it yet when I typed that. It was just that obvious. Low blow and a post shot before Jeff is sent back in and the Mic Check ends this at 4:27.
Here's the debut of Longnecks and Rednecks, Storm's music video. It's set in a bar and has some clips of Storm in TNA.
ODB and Eric plan the wedding. This is annoying. Eric wants to wear the dress. ODB finally gives up and fires the good looking blonde wedding planner. They're going to get married three days before Lockdown inside the cage. That's in two weeks.
Here's Eric with yet another challenge for Garrett. Eric talks about how great he is and how he has a contract that says he can get TV time whenever he wants. Every day he makes a checklist of what he wants to accomplish. On his recent list, he's wanted to get rid of Sting as GM, get Dixie to find a less competent GM, and increase his personal wealth, all of which he's done. However, he can't get rid of his son, so he calls Garrett out right now.
Eric says that Garrett has a chance to leave with his health, because at Lockdown Eric wants to see him face Gunner again. Garrett can walk away right now though, but Garrett grabs the mic and calls Eric a jackass. He's not going anywhere and putting him in a cage is a dumb idea.
Video on Storm training out in the country. He talks about how Roode broke up Beer Money and how the fans want him to take Roode out.
Hogan arrives at 10:30.
Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries/James Storm
Aries and Ray start but after Ray runs his mouth for awhile he bails. Storm tries to tag himself in to face Roode but the champ runs. Aries takes Roode down and we take a break as he wants the Bully. Back with Aries getting what he wants as the announcers talk about Hogan's decision. Aries takes Ray to the mat and makes him look like a fool before chilling in the corner. He pounds on Ray but charges into a big old boot.
We get into standard tag team match formula with the heels pounding on Austin with double teaming tactics. Aries elbow Roode down and takes out Ray with a missile dropkick. There's the hot tag as Storm cleans house. Roode is caught but Ray makes the save. Closing Time hits Ray and Roode spits beer in his face, allowing the Last Call to hit for the pin at 12:22.
Here's Dixie to bring out Hogan for the big decision. She believes in Hogan and wants him to take the position. Is it the one he demonstrated in his sex tape? Hogan says he doesn't really want to do it because of what happened with Immortal, but here's Sting to keep up the begging and worship of Hogan, because that's what this company is all about. Oh and he brings out half the faces with him (D-Von doesn't even bring his belt with him). All the big name faces are there: AJ, Storm, Anderson, Morgan, Hardy.....and Garrett of course.
Sting kisses up to Hogan and says take it already. Hogan wants to make sure it's a clean slate and wants a guarantee that Sting will ALWAYS have his back. Sting wants to make sure that it'll be the Eye of the Tiger Hogan. He says he'll have Hulk's back and Hogan takes the job, of course. Gee that was such a big sacrifice for him. Hogan celebrates with the rest of the good guys to end the show.
Results
Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne In Yo Face
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson went to a double countout
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy Mic Check
James Storm/Austin Aries b. Bully Ray/Bobby Roode Last Call to Ray