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Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Jackie Moore is official for the WWE Hall of Fame.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2016
Location: Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
This is one of the final three Raw's before Wrestlemania and things are starting to get interesting. The question though is what to do with Roman Reigns. It's pretty clear that the fans don't want to cheer for him but at some point they either need to change the main event or accept the crowd reactions. Let's get to it.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio
Woods says there's no stopping this New Day train and they've had a good time celebrating on Twitter. After shilling the cereal box (Kofi: “This is a real thing you can get on WWE.com!”
, Big E. talks about having some Kim Kardashian inspired gluteal workout DVDs. Kofi is actually the odd man out here for a change.
The announcers explain the Freebird Rule as Rusev and Big E. shove each other around to start. The fans want Lana but Rusev laughs them off, only to get caught in the abdominal stretch, complete with a quick spanking. There's the Unicorn Stampede before Big E. throws Woods into Rusev's face. Rusev kicks him away and brings in Del Rio who suplexes Big E. for two. A Backstabber gets two more before Woods gets kicked in the face as well as we take a break.
Back with Woods caught in Rusev's bearhug, followed by Del Rio slapping on a chinlock. As usual the League is burning up the mat with this offense. Woods kicks him in the leg and knees Alberto in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Big E. The Warrior Splash gets two and everything breaks down with Woods DDTing Rusev. Del Rio double stomps Big E. to the floor and Rusev kicks Woods in the face for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi goes after Barrett, allowing Woods to roll Rusev up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 13:40.
Post match the League destroys New Day for a long time, which would seem to set up another match at Wrestlemania.
Here's Dean Ambrose with something to say. After seeing the false finish from Roadblock, Ambrose says he's upset that he isn't here tonight as the WWE World Champion. One thing is for sure though: HHH is more sore tonight than he's ever been. That brings Dean to the Road to Wrestlemania but this brings out Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman gives Brock a huge introduction but Dean wants Paul to unleash the Beast.
That's not a good business move though as it would eliminate one of the biggest matches at Wrestlemania. You don't want to lose the main event of Wrestlemania, because any match that Brock Lesnar is in is the main event. Heyman says he'll see Dean in twenty nights and leaves but Brock heads towards the ring. Dean pulls out a crowbar and Brock circles the ring, only to wisely leave before getting hit in the head with a steel crowbar.
Ryback vs. Sin Cara
Cara is in black compared to Kalisto's white with the mask making him look like a cat. Ryback throws him down to start and does the Thesz press, followed by a big backdrop. The squashing continues with a hard clothesline for two before it's off to the chinlock. Cara low bridges him to the floor and gets in a suicide dive, only to have a dive caught in the Shell Shock. A second Shell Shock wraps this up at 4:17.
Post match Ryback says that's what happens when a big guy faces a little guy. On top of that though, he'd like a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Well to be fair, he did just beat Sin Cara. That better make him the #1 contender.
Here's a strutting Stephanie McMahon who brings out HHH for some bragging about winning on Saturday. It was so much fun crushing the fans' hope at Roadblock because everyone has hope. It starts in high school when you're ready to take over the world but then you get married and get a job where hope kicks in. You hope for a raise or a promotion but when you don't get it, you're the last person to be blamed.
Then people like the guy in the front row goes to the bar to drink and blame the authority above them because nothing can ever get better. Then you start hoping for the lottery but then thirty years go by and you might get a watch. By this point everything is falling apart and you wind up in a home drooling on yourself. People like that cheer for Roman Reigns because they hope that he can win overcome the Authority and take the WWE World Title at Wrestlemania. He's going to fail though, just like all of your lives, because the Authority always wins. This brings out.....Dolph Ziggler?
Dolph gets right to the sucking up to the fans, which Stephanie says is very Cena-esque of him. Stephanie knows Dolph is good but he's not all that great. He's never going to quit because he's tired of the fans being insulted. The people live through Ziggler and Ambrose because they were screwed by the system, the Authority's system. They tease firing him but HHH says that's not how this works because the Authority knows Ziggler is beloved.
HHH offers a chance at Ziggler joining the Authority but Dolph would never join forces with a corrupt boss and his stupid wife. There's the big slap but Ziggler still won't quit. Stephanie makes Ziggler an offer: if he can win any one match tonight, he can have any match he wants at Wrestlemania (save for the World Title match of course). The match is against HHH, albeit non-title.
Why am I watching Dolph Ziggler get a match against HHH with twenty days to go before Raw? I know Ziggler is still kind of popular but does anyone really think this is the best option they have? Are they that scared of putting Reigns on TV this close to Wrestlemania? You would think they would change things around if that's how bad it's gotten but for some reason they seem dead set on having Reigns take the title and get his big glory moment, assuming of course that he actually wins the thing.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Kevin Owens is on commentary of course. Sami sends him to the floor but has to bail out of the big dive. We take a break and come back with Sami fighting out of a double arm crank, only to walk int a DDT for two. Sami starts his comeback with the clotheslines and sends Miz to the floor for the big flip dive. Owens offers a distraction but Miz actually takes him own, allowing Sami to hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 7:17.
We look back at the League beating New Day down.
The League wants one more match with New Day at Wrestlemania where it won't be a comedy.
Naomi/Tamina vs. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella
Lana comes out for an early distraction, allowing Naomi to get in a cheap shot on Alicia. Tamina cranks on her neck but it's off to Brie for the worst YES Kicks she's ever done, which is covering a lot of ground. The BRIE MODE knee hits Tamina and a middle rope Bella Buster gets two as Naomi makes the save. Everything breaks down and Lana offers a distraction, allowing Tamina and Naomi to hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo for the pin on Brie at 2:41.
Alicia goes after Lana but walks into a double superkick.
The Social Outcasts shill for Burger King.
Lana wants the Divas Title when Paige comes in to say Lana hasn't even had a match yet. If Lana wants a test against a real Diva, Paige would be happy to oblige. This brings in Naomi and Tamina to say Paige shouldn't run her mouth.
Charlotte talks about how she knew Sasha and Becky before they were Sasha and Becky. She can remember holding Sasha's hair back before Sasha's first match because Banks was so nervous. Charlotte can remember Becky being so nervous that she had to be calmed down. Ric is very amused by all this and promises that Charlotte is walking out as champion. This was nice and it's a good idea to add something personal to the three way. These women have a past and it would be stupid to not go somewhere with it.
Usos vs. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas
The Dudley Boyz are on commentary and talks about not using tables as a crutch. A long string of superkicks put the Outcasts down and the Superfly Splash puts Dallas away at 1:56.
Dean is in the back with his crowbar when Mick Foley comes in. He knows Dean doesn't have that thing because he loves baseball so why is he doing all this? Dean asks if Foley was afraid when he was on top of that Cell with the Undertaker. Foley: “You mean right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?”
Foley was afraid but he was up there because that's what he does. Dean: “I'm Dean Ambrose and this is what I do.” Foley is sick of hearing about Suplex City and would love for Dean to do something about it. Therefore, he has a present for Dean. Foley hands Dean a box and leaves, allowing Dean to pull out the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Again good stuff, but I hope Foley has something else to do besides this match. Ambrose vs. Lesnar doesn't need help so why waste what Foley can add here?
Dolph Ziggler vs. HHH
Non-title. Cole says this is HHH's first match on Raw in nearly three years, which you can add to his list of inaccurate statements that are intended to make him sound smart. Ziggler headlocks him down to start and holds onto it for a good while until HHH gets in an elbow to the jaw. A hard whip puts Ziggler into the barricade and we take a break. Back with HHH working on the arm via an armbar and its flying cousin.
The jumping knee to the face gets two and HHH drops the knee to the head for two more. Ziggler is sent to the floor and into the steps for a big crash as the arm is being destroyed. HHH goes to the middle rope for the sole reason of diving into a raised boot (haven't seen that stupid spot in a long time) and it's time for the comeback.
The superkick is blocked but the Pedigree is countered so Ziggler settles for two off the Fameasser. You can hear the crowd getting into this. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT but runs into the spinebuster for no cover, though we do get a spot call. A very quick superkick (the called spot) gets two and HHH goes to the outside for a breather. Back in and the Zig Zag is countered, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 17:29.
Post match here's Roman Reigns coming down the aisle for no apparent reason, though threats of death by booing could be a possibility. The booing is there but it's not as bad as it's been in the past. Reigns destroys HHH around the ring and beats him into the announcers' table just like HHH did a few weeks ago. HHH gets knocked along the outside and heads to the technical area. They head to the back where HHH is bleeding from the side of the head. Reigns breaks a TV monitor over his head and some wrestlers finally get him out of there.
Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.
Goldust is walking through the back (because he's just there in wrestling gear every week) when he runs into a penguin. Of course it's R-Truth, but he doesn't know they're in Pittsburgh (the Pittsburgh Penguins are a hockey team if that makes no sense). See, when penguins meet their mates, they're mates for life. Therefore, R-Truth wants Goldust to be his tag partner for life. That's another no from Goldust. R-Truth: “That's cold.”
Chris Jericho comes out for his match but first he has to insult the fans for cheering AJ Styles. Last week Jericho had to show AJ who his daddy was because Jericho is the really phenomenal one.
Chris Jericho vs. Neville
Jericho starts fast and sends him out to the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Neville hurricanrana Jericho for two but coming up limping. Jericho rolls him up for two before shoving the referee for the DQ at 4:50. No rating due to the commercial of course.
Post match Jericho tells the fans to chant for AJ Styles so here's AJ with a forearm, now called the Phenomenal Forearm.
Here's Vince to wrap things up. Vince has his entrance done twice for some reason before talking about how Shane could come out here the night after Wrestlemania and talk about how it's a new era in WWE. Everything will change because it's a new reality but that reality is going to be a nightmare. However that's not going to happen because Vince has the ultimate instrument of destruction named the Undertaker.
After a nearly three minute entrance, Vince tells Undertaker to never put his hands on him again (referencing a few weeks back). Undertaker takes off the hat and coat so Vince apologizes for bringing it up again. Vince knows that Undertaker doesn't mind doing the devil's work like ramming Shane McMahon into the steel and leaving his spirit in a pool beneath his feet. Some people call it an unholy alliance but Vince calls it best for business. Cue Shane and his orange shoes to say that he'll never stop coming at Undertaker no matter how long it takes.
Undertaker grabs the mic and says it still won't be enough. Undertaker's legacy, even more than Wrestlemania, is his fists. Shane agrees that Undertaker is a legend but he doesn't understand why Undertaker is dancing like Vince's puppet. Undertaker says no one controls him but Shane says Undertaker is being Vince's.....well I think you know what he said. The fight is on and amazingly enough Shane's punches have almost no effect. Vince shoves Shane into a chokeslam before running away from Undertaker to end the show.
Results
New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev
Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox
Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash
HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee
Tuesday
Neville has a broken ankle and shin injury. No word on how long he'll be out but Wrestlemania is likely out of the question.
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
This is a special live(ish) episode with some major matches taking place. We have Jeff Hardy returning (as he does every single year after the company gets back from the UK) to go after Eric Young but not for the King of the Mountain Title, as well as Matt Hardy defending his World Title against Ethan Carter III (again). Let's get to it.
Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy
Non-title but before the match, Young finds Dixie Carter in the back and yells about how he's going to destroy the golden boy tonight. The fight starts fast with Jeff trying an early Twist of Fate but Eric bails to the floor. Dixie cuts off the match and says the winner of this is going on to the main event for the World Title. The fans get behind Jeff as Eric pounds away and shoves Jeff off the top for a big crash.
Back in and Eric stomps Hardy in the corner before crotching him again to break up a Whisper in the Wind attempt. A choke out of the corner and a neckbreaker give Eric a near fall but he dives into a raised boot to give Jeff a breather. Another Twist of Fate is broken up as Eric gets crotched, only to shove Eric down and hit the Swanton for the pin at 10:02.
Post match here are Matt Hardy and company with something to say. After the break, Matt says he would have been there to help Jeff but he had to take care of his family. Reby thinks that Jeff is Maxell's second favorite wrestler and lets him hold the baby. Matt offers his brother a long build towards a Bound For Glory match but Jeff doesn't buy it. He'll take that match tonight and counters a Twist of Fate attempt into one on the champ to stand tall.
Earlier today, Eddie Edwards was attacked by the Decay.
Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis promise to destroy Gail Kim and Drew Galloway.
Eddie Edwards says he's ready to fight Beer Money on his own but they're willing to join forces with him to fight Decay tonight.
Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim/Drew Galloway
The women start but Maria bails to the corner for a tag before anything can happen. Drew comes in and kicks Mike in the face before bringing Gail back in for a few shots of his own. Back to Drew as the announcers talk about the sitcoms airing on POP. Drew tells Bennett to bring it so Maria slaps him in the face.
That just makes Drew chop Mike even faster but he gets pulled off the top for a crash. Maria comes in and tries to keep Drew away from Gail, which goes about as well as you would expect. The tag brings in Gail for Eat Defeat to Bennett followed by a Claymore but Gail grabs a rollup on Gail with a handful of trunks for the pin at 5:07.
We look back at Lashley turning heel to end last week's show.
Here's Lashley in the ring for an interview about his actions last week. He waited a long time to fight Angle because he's the best and strongest around this company, which he proved last week. So why does he get overlooked for the Drew Galloways and the Jeff Hardys? Politics maybe? Not that it matters as Lashley came after Kurt to prove he belonged here. Lashley has no friends and wants no friends because he needs no friends. However, Josh Matthews is in his ring right now, so Lashley throws him into the corner. Dang I thought they wanted him to be a heel. Pope comes in for the save and gets beaten down as well, which the fans actually don't like.
That's their best idea to make him a heel? Have him beat up the most annoying announcer this side of Cole as a Miz fan? As usual, anytime Lashley talks, things go badly for him as there's no charisma or any kind of an intimidating voice. The idea here is good but the execution was a disaster of course.
The Decay welcomes us to their black hole and promises a third person to fight against Beer Money and Edwards.
Jeremy Borash has replaced Pope on commentary.
Ethan Carter III congratulates Jeff Hardy for getting into the World Title match but Jeff says he's winning the title for the Creatures.
Decay vs. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money
The partner is Rosemary, which should make for some interesting action. Steve jumps Storm from behind to start but it's quickly off to Roode for two off a release gordbuster. Abyss comes in to start cleaning house by slamming Roode down, allowing him to chokeslam Steve onto Roode's body for two. Rosemary gets the tag and hammers away for a bit before Roode avoids a Cannonball from Steve. The hot tag brings in Storm for his chance to clean house but Steve pulls Rosemary away from the double suplex. Instead Rosemary mists Edwards, allowing Steve to get the pin at 7:17.
Billy Corgan (You know him. I mean, you all read the internet so you know he has power here. It's not like we ever need to TELL YOU THAT or anything.) tells Grado that TNA has come to a decision and will let him know the fate of the Feast or Fired case in the ring.
Matt and Reby accuse Dixie of adding Jeff to the match because she's jealous. This earns them a new stipulation for the title match: no countout and no DQ. Aren't all triple threats like that already?
We recap the King of the Moutain Title briefcase issue with TNA finally showing the footage of Eli Drake switching the briefcases. This was released on TNA's Youtube page so of course TNA assumed we had all seen it. Corgan comes out and says it's Drake's case but Grado gets a new contract. Oh but it's going to be above the ring in a ladder match after the break. BUILD THIS STUFF UP!
Eli Drake vs. Grado
The announcers try to figure out what's on the line here as Drake hits Grado in the back with the ladder. A hard whip sends Eli into the ladder and Grado starts his comeback, only to have Jesse Godderz come out for the save. Cue Mahabali Shera for a save but the heels hit him in the back with the briefcase. Grado goes up the ladder but dives onto the pile for an unnecessary chance. Another attempt at the case is stopped by Drake so Grado takes him down with a huge electric chair, which is enough for Grado to pull down the contract at 7:07.
Eric Young tells Bram that everyone is out to get him so they have to work together.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
Matt is defending and we don't even get big match intros. The challengers beat Matt down to start but it's Ethan grabbing a rollup for two on Jeff. Carter drops both Hardys and sends them both to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ethan down on the floor after a Side Effect and but Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but here are Bram and Eric Young to pull Jeff down and piledrive him on the concrete. Jeff is taken out as Carter gets back in and hits his Stinger Splash, drawing out Spud and Tyrus for another save.
They're quickly dispatched though, allowing Matt to kick Ethan low. The Twist of Fate is countered into the 1%er but Mike Bennett comes in (ENOUGH ALREADY!) to chair Carter in the back. That's only good for two and the Twist of Fate gets the same. Bennett throws Carter to the floor and fights into the crowd with Bennett getting in another chair shot. Matt is ready to leave and shouts at the fans that he's leaving as champion.....but here's Galloway to cash in his briefcase as the triple threat is a no contest at 18:30.
TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy
The Claymore and Future Shock give Drew the title at 18 seconds.
Drew celebrates with the title to end the show.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb
Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway/Gail Kim – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Decay b. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money – Steve pinned Edwards after mist from Rosemary
Grado b. Eli Drake – Grado pulled down the contract
Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest
Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Future Shock
Wednesday
Neville will be out 2-3 months due to a broken ankle.
NXT
Date: March 16, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Takeover is looming and we finally have a main event for the show. Last week Samoa Joe beat Sami Zayn in a two out of three falls match to earn the title shot against NXT Champion Finn Balor in just over two weeks. The rest of the card is mostly set as well and it should be interesting to see where things go from here. Let's get to it.
We open with a long recap of Joe beating Zayn last week.
Opening sequence.
Here's Sami Zayn to get things going. Last week he went to war against a 300lb Samoan and for those of you who have never done that, it's really not that fun. Sami isn't the slightest bit ashamed of what happened last week and if he had fingers just a few inches longer, he might be going to Takeover for the title shot.
Either way though, Sami wants to do something special in Dallas and here's Commissioner William Regal with an announcement. Sami does indeed deserve something special in Dallas so here's his opponent: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA, who pops up on screen to say that he's coming to NXT. As you might expect, the fans go INSANE.
Hype Bros vs. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford
Rawley is a big crowd favorite to start and shoves Crawford around the ring early on. Dawkins comes in so Mojo starts doing some football drills to keep him in the corner. A big shot drops Dawkins and Mojo declares that both of them ain't hyped. Ryder comes in for some of his signature stuff before bringing Rawley back in to clean house. A discus punch from Rawley sets up the Hype Ryder to put Crawford away at 3:24.
Video on NXT at the Arnold Classic, complete with a cameo by Arnold himself.
Emma and Dana Brooke run into Deonna Purrazzo and laugh about her loss a few weeks back. Deonna is ready for Emma tonight and trash is spoken. Dana promises that Emma will take it seriously but pats Deonna on the head anyway.
Deonna Purrazzo vs. Emma
Emma takes her down to start and stands on Deonna's hair like only a villain can. Some choking sets up the former Emma Sandwich for two before it's off to the chinlock. Deonna fights back with a few elbows to the chin but misses a charge into the corner, setting up the Dilemma. Dana is very pleased as the Emma Lock makes Deonna tap at 3:49.
Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jesse Sorensen
Ciampa is very aggressive to start and pounds Jesse into the corner, including a hard running knee to the head. A discus lariat gets two but Jesse actually makes a comeback with a good looking dropkick. Sorensen gets caught on top though, allowing Ciampa to drive a knee through Jesse's legs into the chest for a unique looking move. That floatover armbar makes Jesse tap at 2:30. Ciampa looked good here, maybe as good as he has aside from that match against Joe.
We look at Asuka saving Bayley from Nia Jax and Eva Marie.
Nia Jax/Eva Marie vs. Bayley/Asuka
Bayley and Nia get things going and the champ is thrown into the corner for the tag off to Eva. That's just fine with Bayley as she easily takes Eva to the mat and brings in Asuka. The rapid knees and kicks have Eva looking....well moderately annoyed because she doesn't know how to sell anything. It's back to Bayley but Nia gets a blind tag and plants her with a Samoan drop. Eva comes in again to crank on both arms but Bayley pops up because she's Bayley and it's Eva Marie. Nia comes in and accidentally drops a leg on Eva, allowing the Bayley to Belly to put Eva away at 4:01.
Post match Bayley and Asuka stand next to each other, allowing Regal to come out and make Asuka #1 contender for Dallas.
We look back at Baron Corbin beating up Austin Aries two weeks ago.
Aries is at his home for a satellite interview. He received a lot of offers to wrestle around the world but NXT was where he wanted to go. After the attack, Regal came and apologized to him but there was nothing to be sorry for. Corbin should have attacked him at his face because Aries has been a champion everywhere he's gone. Aries hasn't been handed anything because he earned his NXT contract. It wasn't because he's 6'6 and 300lbs but because he's earned it over the last ten years. In Dallas on April 1, Corbin is going to learn that it's a great day to be great but a bad day to be Baron Corbin.
American Alpha vs. Vaudevillains
For the #1 contendership. Gable takes Gotch to the mat to start but Gotch kicks his hands away and does something like an enziguri from the mat. Jordan comes in for a double dropkick and a double clothesline to put the Vaudevillains on the floor. Back from a break with English holding Gable in a chinlock before it's off to Gotch for a chinlock of his own. Those dastardly villains.
Gable finally sends Gotch throat first into the ropes and makes the tag off to Jordan. Everything breaks down and Gotch has to break up Grand Amplitude (“their finisher” according to Graves. A BIG German suplex drops English with Gotch diving in for a save. Gotch and Jordan go to the floor as English gets two on Gable off a sitout powerbomb. Not that it matters as Jordan comes back in for Grand Amplitude and the pin on English at 10:25.
Results
Hype Bros b. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford – Hype Ryder to Crawford
Emma b. Deonna Purrazzo – Emma Lock
Tommaso Ciampa b. Jesse Sorensen – Floatover armbar
Bayley/Asuka b. Nia Jax/Eva Marie – Bayley to Belly to Marie
American Alpha b. Vaudevillains – Grand Amplitude to English
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2016
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton
This is one of the three final episodes before Wrestlemania XXXII in April and things are....interesting. This past Monday saw the return of Roman Reigns, who showed some of the fire that made him a success near the end of the year. The question now though is how much of that will stick around and how much will be a return to his not so successful form. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Reign returning to attack HHH, resulting in the champ needing six staples to close the gash in his head.
Here's Reigns, again down the ramp which seems to be his new norm, to open things up. The fans aren't sure what to think of him to start but says that footage shows what HHH gets for running his mouth. Reigns believes in the big fight, which is what knocked HHH into next week. It's a good thing that HHH isn't in the building tonight because Reigns would beat him again just as badly. Not because he wants to you see, but because he can. At Wrestlemania in Dallas, Reigns is going to hold the title over HHH's body because he can and HHH needs to believe that.
This wasn't a great promo but above all else it was short. That's been Roman's big downfall: they leave him out there for so long that Reigns gets lost because he's just not that great of a talker. However, showing how strong of a fighter he is on Monday and then having him talk about it here in a three minute speech is the best path they can go with. If they can just avoid him being booed out of the building (remember that the next two Raw's are in Philadelphia and New York) before Wrestlemania, things will be as good as they can be.
We look back at Chris Jericho splitting up the partnership with AJ Styles and then getting laid out by Styles on Monday (in what was apparently an improvised segment due to the Neville injury).
Styles says the fans can chant for whoever they want because this is WWE. This Monday felt so good....and here's Kevin Owens. Kevin thinks AJ sounds just like Sami Zayn with all this whining. Maybe they can have their own show on the WWE Network where they hold each other and cry. AJ talks about how Owens is just like Jericho with their insecurity. Owens says the easiest answer would be they're both from Canada but that's not what matters. It's the Intercontinental Title that really matters but AJ thinks it's more important that they're having a match tonight (BIG pop for that).
The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ranallo brings up the horribly tired Battle of Ohio idea for this match. Ziggler takes it to the mat for an early front facelock but Miz reverses into a small package. They fight over headlocks because there's almost nothing left for these two to fight over these days. Ranallo keeps up the lame references by bringing up Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. Of all the people Trump is associated with and feuding with these days, the best he's got it Rosie O'Donnell?
Ziggler pulls Miz to the mat again and drops some elbows but gets sent chest first into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a top rope ax handle and slapping on a body scissors. Ziggler fights up again with his running clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a sunset flip for two. He takes too much time getting up though and it's time for the Figure Four. Ziggler is quickly in the ropes though and a superkick puts Miz away at 10:40.
We look at Ryback challenging Kalisto for a US Title match at Wrestlemania.
Kalisto accepted the challenge.
We look back at Mick Foley giving Dean Ambrose the barbed wire baseball bat.
Earlier today, Dean was here in his hometown of Cincinnati and loves every bit of it. Brock Lesnar may have been trained to fight in the UFC but on the streets of this city, every day is Wrestlemania because you fight every day and night. Pressure like that makes diamonds and Brock better be ready because nothing hurts like an education. I love these on location promos as they give things such a sense of importance and realism.
Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.
Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Goldust
D-Von gets a table out just a few seconds after the bell, drawing a very nice reaction from the crowd. The distraction lets Bubba send Goldust into the buckle a few times, all while calling Goldust a freak. After Bubba shouts about Goldust having face paint just like the Usos, Goldust starts a comeback with right hands, only to run into an elbow to the jaw. Goldust hammers away in the corner and scores with the bulldog for two. A quick D-Von distraction pays off though and Bubba kicks Goldust in the face for the pin at 3:23.
Post match R-Truth comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well. The Usos come out for the real save.
Here's Charlotte (dressing more like Nikki Bella every day) for a face to face to face meeting with Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. Charlotte gets right to the point by saying she's known the two of them (not out here yet) for most of her adult life. They've done it all together but she wouldn't be standing here today if not for the two of them. Becky comes out on her own and Charlotte isn't sure what to think of it, so here's Sasha a few seconds later. Well that was kind of pointless. Charlotte: “You finally showed up.” Sasha: “Child please, I am not on your schedule.”
Charlotte brings up their past in NXT and tells a story about calling her dad when she met the two of them. Ric thought they sounded like the Horsemen but Charlotte thought they were the Horsewomen. Over time she started to accept the idea but now she owes Ric an apology because these two could NEVER be the Horsewomen.
That's enough for Becky, who goes on a rant about how you can call her whatever she wants but at Wrestlemania she's going to be the one ripping Charlotte's arm off and becoming Divas Champion. Sasha says sorry boo boos (yes boo boos) but she's the one who took the NXT Women's Title from Charlotte and the only one who hasn't been beaten in WWE. Charlotte watches as Becky and Sasha argue over jewelry but they quickly go after the champ, sending her running off. Another good segment here as I want to see the match more than I did coming in.
Here's New Day for Kofi Kingston's match but they're swinging trash bags. After looking at a video of their beatdown, Woods says they're fine after that beatdown because they've been eating their Bootyo's. Now some people might think that they couldn't do anything after a beating like that, which sends Big E. into a perfect 1980s style over the top promo that you see when someone is pretending to be pretending to be a wrestler.
That brings them to the trash bags, which represent a member of the League of Nations each. Each one is punted out of the ring, accompanied by a good imitation of each member. The challenge for a three on two Tag Team Title match is accepted for Wrestlemania, which certainly should be interesting to see.
Kofi Kingston vs. King Barrett
Kofi takes him straight into the corner for a one man Unicorn Stampede, meaning it's time for a seven man staredown as we take a way too early break. Back with Kofi firing off the kicks to the legs but getting distracted by the League, allowing Barrett to kick him in the face to take over.
We get some clubbing (yes clubbing I say) forearms to the back for two, only to have Kofi come back with a spinning cross body for the same. Winds of Change is countered with a backflip into a DDT (sweet move) but Woods and Del Rio get on the apron. Everything breaks down on the floor and it's Kofi grabbing a rollup (and trunks) for the pin on Barrett at 7:51.
Dean is in a bar and talks how much you grow up here. You start thinking about the fights you've won and the fights you've lost, but above all else you start thinking about fighting for pride. At Wrestlemania, he's bringing Cincinnati with him and Lesnar better be ready.
Long recap of Vince, Shane and Undertaker from Raw.
The Social Outcasts are sitting on the apron and promise to be the first team to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal together. That idea lasts all of three seconds (the amount of time between Dallas saying it and Slater starting to talk) before they argue over who will be winning.
Cue Dean with a kendo stick to hammer all four of them (drawing your required Cincinnati Reds reference), sending the Outcasts running. Dean has heard that Brock is going to be in Boston next week for Smackdown because everyone knew he wasn't coming to Cincinnati. If Brock is going to be here next week, Dean will be right there with him for the fight that Brock walked away from on Raw. More good stuff here.
AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. We start fast with AJ's drop down into the dropkick as Lawler makes fun of Ranallo calling everything AJ does phenomenal. The springboard forearm is countered into a gutbuster and the backsplash crushes Styles. We take a break and come back with fighting out of Chinlock City and blocking another backsplash with raised knees. Owens: “Ranallo shut up! I can hear you from here you idiot!”
AJ gets in the running forearm to a seated Owens and sends him outside for a slingshot forearm. Back in and Owens' package piledriver slam (called a Blue Thunder Bomb by Ranallo, which isn't exactly what I would call the move) gets two but AJ kicks him in the head. They slug it out with AJ getting the best of it until he misses a spinning backfist and eats a superkick.
The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered and AJ actually torture racks him into a spinning powerbomb for two. I always love seeing a surprise move like that as it keeps you from getting bored with the same stuff over and over. AJ heads up but has to knock Owens off the top, only to have Jericho come out to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. Styles takes WAY too long getting back inside and it's the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 11:43.
Post match Jericho gives AJ a Codebreaker and mocks the AJ STYLES chants to end the show. Jericho continues to nail this heel run like he hasn't in years.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Superkick
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Goldust – Big boot
Kofi Kingston b. King Barrett – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Bobby Roode and Eric Young have been granted their releases from TNA.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev
Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox
Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash
HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee
Impact Wrestling
Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb
Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway/Gail Kim – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Decay b. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money – Steve pinned Edwards after mist from Rosemary
Grado b. Eli Drake – Grado pulled down the contract
Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest
Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Future Shock
NXT
Hype Bros b. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford – Hype Ryder to Crawford
Emma b. Deonna Purrazzo – Emma Lock
Tommaso Ciampa b. Jesse Sorensen – Floatover armbar
Bayley/Asuka b. Nia Jax/Eva Marie – Bayley to Belly to Marie
American Alpha b. Vaudevillains – Grand Amplitude to English
Smackdown
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Superkick
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Goldust – Big boot
Kofi Kingston b. King Barrett – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb
Jackie Moore is official for the WWE Hall of Fame.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2016
Location: Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
This is one of the final three Raw's before Wrestlemania and things are starting to get interesting. The question though is what to do with Roman Reigns. It's pretty clear that the fans don't want to cheer for him but at some point they either need to change the main event or accept the crowd reactions. Let's get to it.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio
Woods says there's no stopping this New Day train and they've had a good time celebrating on Twitter. After shilling the cereal box (Kofi: “This is a real thing you can get on WWE.com!”
, Big E. talks about having some Kim Kardashian inspired gluteal workout DVDs. Kofi is actually the odd man out here for a change.The announcers explain the Freebird Rule as Rusev and Big E. shove each other around to start. The fans want Lana but Rusev laughs them off, only to get caught in the abdominal stretch, complete with a quick spanking. There's the Unicorn Stampede before Big E. throws Woods into Rusev's face. Rusev kicks him away and brings in Del Rio who suplexes Big E. for two. A Backstabber gets two more before Woods gets kicked in the face as well as we take a break.
Back with Woods caught in Rusev's bearhug, followed by Del Rio slapping on a chinlock. As usual the League is burning up the mat with this offense. Woods kicks him in the leg and knees Alberto in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Big E. The Warrior Splash gets two and everything breaks down with Woods DDTing Rusev. Del Rio double stomps Big E. to the floor and Rusev kicks Woods in the face for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi goes after Barrett, allowing Woods to roll Rusev up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 13:40.
Post match the League destroys New Day for a long time, which would seem to set up another match at Wrestlemania.
Here's Dean Ambrose with something to say. After seeing the false finish from Roadblock, Ambrose says he's upset that he isn't here tonight as the WWE World Champion. One thing is for sure though: HHH is more sore tonight than he's ever been. That brings Dean to the Road to Wrestlemania but this brings out Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman gives Brock a huge introduction but Dean wants Paul to unleash the Beast.
That's not a good business move though as it would eliminate one of the biggest matches at Wrestlemania. You don't want to lose the main event of Wrestlemania, because any match that Brock Lesnar is in is the main event. Heyman says he'll see Dean in twenty nights and leaves but Brock heads towards the ring. Dean pulls out a crowbar and Brock circles the ring, only to wisely leave before getting hit in the head with a steel crowbar.
Ryback vs. Sin Cara
Cara is in black compared to Kalisto's white with the mask making him look like a cat. Ryback throws him down to start and does the Thesz press, followed by a big backdrop. The squashing continues with a hard clothesline for two before it's off to the chinlock. Cara low bridges him to the floor and gets in a suicide dive, only to have a dive caught in the Shell Shock. A second Shell Shock wraps this up at 4:17.
Post match Ryback says that's what happens when a big guy faces a little guy. On top of that though, he'd like a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Well to be fair, he did just beat Sin Cara. That better make him the #1 contender.
Here's a strutting Stephanie McMahon who brings out HHH for some bragging about winning on Saturday. It was so much fun crushing the fans' hope at Roadblock because everyone has hope. It starts in high school when you're ready to take over the world but then you get married and get a job where hope kicks in. You hope for a raise or a promotion but when you don't get it, you're the last person to be blamed.
Then people like the guy in the front row goes to the bar to drink and blame the authority above them because nothing can ever get better. Then you start hoping for the lottery but then thirty years go by and you might get a watch. By this point everything is falling apart and you wind up in a home drooling on yourself. People like that cheer for Roman Reigns because they hope that he can win overcome the Authority and take the WWE World Title at Wrestlemania. He's going to fail though, just like all of your lives, because the Authority always wins. This brings out.....Dolph Ziggler?
Dolph gets right to the sucking up to the fans, which Stephanie says is very Cena-esque of him. Stephanie knows Dolph is good but he's not all that great. He's never going to quit because he's tired of the fans being insulted. The people live through Ziggler and Ambrose because they were screwed by the system, the Authority's system. They tease firing him but HHH says that's not how this works because the Authority knows Ziggler is beloved.
HHH offers a chance at Ziggler joining the Authority but Dolph would never join forces with a corrupt boss and his stupid wife. There's the big slap but Ziggler still won't quit. Stephanie makes Ziggler an offer: if he can win any one match tonight, he can have any match he wants at Wrestlemania (save for the World Title match of course). The match is against HHH, albeit non-title.
Why am I watching Dolph Ziggler get a match against HHH with twenty days to go before Raw? I know Ziggler is still kind of popular but does anyone really think this is the best option they have? Are they that scared of putting Reigns on TV this close to Wrestlemania? You would think they would change things around if that's how bad it's gotten but for some reason they seem dead set on having Reigns take the title and get his big glory moment, assuming of course that he actually wins the thing.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Kevin Owens is on commentary of course. Sami sends him to the floor but has to bail out of the big dive. We take a break and come back with Sami fighting out of a double arm crank, only to walk int a DDT for two. Sami starts his comeback with the clotheslines and sends Miz to the floor for the big flip dive. Owens offers a distraction but Miz actually takes him own, allowing Sami to hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 7:17.
We look back at the League beating New Day down.
The League wants one more match with New Day at Wrestlemania where it won't be a comedy.
Naomi/Tamina vs. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella
Lana comes out for an early distraction, allowing Naomi to get in a cheap shot on Alicia. Tamina cranks on her neck but it's off to Brie for the worst YES Kicks she's ever done, which is covering a lot of ground. The BRIE MODE knee hits Tamina and a middle rope Bella Buster gets two as Naomi makes the save. Everything breaks down and Lana offers a distraction, allowing Tamina and Naomi to hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo for the pin on Brie at 2:41.
Alicia goes after Lana but walks into a double superkick.
The Social Outcasts shill for Burger King.
Lana wants the Divas Title when Paige comes in to say Lana hasn't even had a match yet. If Lana wants a test against a real Diva, Paige would be happy to oblige. This brings in Naomi and Tamina to say Paige shouldn't run her mouth.
Charlotte talks about how she knew Sasha and Becky before they were Sasha and Becky. She can remember holding Sasha's hair back before Sasha's first match because Banks was so nervous. Charlotte can remember Becky being so nervous that she had to be calmed down. Ric is very amused by all this and promises that Charlotte is walking out as champion. This was nice and it's a good idea to add something personal to the three way. These women have a past and it would be stupid to not go somewhere with it.
Usos vs. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas
The Dudley Boyz are on commentary and talks about not using tables as a crutch. A long string of superkicks put the Outcasts down and the Superfly Splash puts Dallas away at 1:56.
Dean is in the back with his crowbar when Mick Foley comes in. He knows Dean doesn't have that thing because he loves baseball so why is he doing all this? Dean asks if Foley was afraid when he was on top of that Cell with the Undertaker. Foley: “You mean right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?”
Foley was afraid but he was up there because that's what he does. Dean: “I'm Dean Ambrose and this is what I do.” Foley is sick of hearing about Suplex City and would love for Dean to do something about it. Therefore, he has a present for Dean. Foley hands Dean a box and leaves, allowing Dean to pull out the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Again good stuff, but I hope Foley has something else to do besides this match. Ambrose vs. Lesnar doesn't need help so why waste what Foley can add here?
Dolph Ziggler vs. HHH
Non-title. Cole says this is HHH's first match on Raw in nearly three years, which you can add to his list of inaccurate statements that are intended to make him sound smart. Ziggler headlocks him down to start and holds onto it for a good while until HHH gets in an elbow to the jaw. A hard whip puts Ziggler into the barricade and we take a break. Back with HHH working on the arm via an armbar and its flying cousin.
The jumping knee to the face gets two and HHH drops the knee to the head for two more. Ziggler is sent to the floor and into the steps for a big crash as the arm is being destroyed. HHH goes to the middle rope for the sole reason of diving into a raised boot (haven't seen that stupid spot in a long time) and it's time for the comeback.
The superkick is blocked but the Pedigree is countered so Ziggler settles for two off the Fameasser. You can hear the crowd getting into this. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT but runs into the spinebuster for no cover, though we do get a spot call. A very quick superkick (the called spot) gets two and HHH goes to the outside for a breather. Back in and the Zig Zag is countered, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 17:29.
Post match here's Roman Reigns coming down the aisle for no apparent reason, though threats of death by booing could be a possibility. The booing is there but it's not as bad as it's been in the past. Reigns destroys HHH around the ring and beats him into the announcers' table just like HHH did a few weeks ago. HHH gets knocked along the outside and heads to the technical area. They head to the back where HHH is bleeding from the side of the head. Reigns breaks a TV monitor over his head and some wrestlers finally get him out of there.
Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.
Goldust is walking through the back (because he's just there in wrestling gear every week) when he runs into a penguin. Of course it's R-Truth, but he doesn't know they're in Pittsburgh (the Pittsburgh Penguins are a hockey team if that makes no sense). See, when penguins meet their mates, they're mates for life. Therefore, R-Truth wants Goldust to be his tag partner for life. That's another no from Goldust. R-Truth: “That's cold.”
Chris Jericho comes out for his match but first he has to insult the fans for cheering AJ Styles. Last week Jericho had to show AJ who his daddy was because Jericho is the really phenomenal one.
Chris Jericho vs. Neville
Jericho starts fast and sends him out to the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Neville hurricanrana Jericho for two but coming up limping. Jericho rolls him up for two before shoving the referee for the DQ at 4:50. No rating due to the commercial of course.
Post match Jericho tells the fans to chant for AJ Styles so here's AJ with a forearm, now called the Phenomenal Forearm.
Here's Vince to wrap things up. Vince has his entrance done twice for some reason before talking about how Shane could come out here the night after Wrestlemania and talk about how it's a new era in WWE. Everything will change because it's a new reality but that reality is going to be a nightmare. However that's not going to happen because Vince has the ultimate instrument of destruction named the Undertaker.
After a nearly three minute entrance, Vince tells Undertaker to never put his hands on him again (referencing a few weeks back). Undertaker takes off the hat and coat so Vince apologizes for bringing it up again. Vince knows that Undertaker doesn't mind doing the devil's work like ramming Shane McMahon into the steel and leaving his spirit in a pool beneath his feet. Some people call it an unholy alliance but Vince calls it best for business. Cue Shane and his orange shoes to say that he'll never stop coming at Undertaker no matter how long it takes.
Undertaker grabs the mic and says it still won't be enough. Undertaker's legacy, even more than Wrestlemania, is his fists. Shane agrees that Undertaker is a legend but he doesn't understand why Undertaker is dancing like Vince's puppet. Undertaker says no one controls him but Shane says Undertaker is being Vince's.....well I think you know what he said. The fight is on and amazingly enough Shane's punches have almost no effect. Vince shoves Shane into a chokeslam before running away from Undertaker to end the show.
Results
New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev
Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox
Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash
HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee
Tuesday
Neville has a broken ankle and shin injury. No word on how long he'll be out but Wrestlemania is likely out of the question.
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
This is a special live(ish) episode with some major matches taking place. We have Jeff Hardy returning (as he does every single year after the company gets back from the UK) to go after Eric Young but not for the King of the Mountain Title, as well as Matt Hardy defending his World Title against Ethan Carter III (again). Let's get to it.
Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy
Non-title but before the match, Young finds Dixie Carter in the back and yells about how he's going to destroy the golden boy tonight. The fight starts fast with Jeff trying an early Twist of Fate but Eric bails to the floor. Dixie cuts off the match and says the winner of this is going on to the main event for the World Title. The fans get behind Jeff as Eric pounds away and shoves Jeff off the top for a big crash.
Back in and Eric stomps Hardy in the corner before crotching him again to break up a Whisper in the Wind attempt. A choke out of the corner and a neckbreaker give Eric a near fall but he dives into a raised boot to give Jeff a breather. Another Twist of Fate is broken up as Eric gets crotched, only to shove Eric down and hit the Swanton for the pin at 10:02.
Post match here are Matt Hardy and company with something to say. After the break, Matt says he would have been there to help Jeff but he had to take care of his family. Reby thinks that Jeff is Maxell's second favorite wrestler and lets him hold the baby. Matt offers his brother a long build towards a Bound For Glory match but Jeff doesn't buy it. He'll take that match tonight and counters a Twist of Fate attempt into one on the champ to stand tall.
Earlier today, Eddie Edwards was attacked by the Decay.
Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis promise to destroy Gail Kim and Drew Galloway.
Eddie Edwards says he's ready to fight Beer Money on his own but they're willing to join forces with him to fight Decay tonight.
Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim/Drew Galloway
The women start but Maria bails to the corner for a tag before anything can happen. Drew comes in and kicks Mike in the face before bringing Gail back in for a few shots of his own. Back to Drew as the announcers talk about the sitcoms airing on POP. Drew tells Bennett to bring it so Maria slaps him in the face.
That just makes Drew chop Mike even faster but he gets pulled off the top for a crash. Maria comes in and tries to keep Drew away from Gail, which goes about as well as you would expect. The tag brings in Gail for Eat Defeat to Bennett followed by a Claymore but Gail grabs a rollup on Gail with a handful of trunks for the pin at 5:07.
We look back at Lashley turning heel to end last week's show.
Here's Lashley in the ring for an interview about his actions last week. He waited a long time to fight Angle because he's the best and strongest around this company, which he proved last week. So why does he get overlooked for the Drew Galloways and the Jeff Hardys? Politics maybe? Not that it matters as Lashley came after Kurt to prove he belonged here. Lashley has no friends and wants no friends because he needs no friends. However, Josh Matthews is in his ring right now, so Lashley throws him into the corner. Dang I thought they wanted him to be a heel. Pope comes in for the save and gets beaten down as well, which the fans actually don't like.
That's their best idea to make him a heel? Have him beat up the most annoying announcer this side of Cole as a Miz fan? As usual, anytime Lashley talks, things go badly for him as there's no charisma or any kind of an intimidating voice. The idea here is good but the execution was a disaster of course.
The Decay welcomes us to their black hole and promises a third person to fight against Beer Money and Edwards.
Jeremy Borash has replaced Pope on commentary.
Ethan Carter III congratulates Jeff Hardy for getting into the World Title match but Jeff says he's winning the title for the Creatures.
Decay vs. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money
The partner is Rosemary, which should make for some interesting action. Steve jumps Storm from behind to start but it's quickly off to Roode for two off a release gordbuster. Abyss comes in to start cleaning house by slamming Roode down, allowing him to chokeslam Steve onto Roode's body for two. Rosemary gets the tag and hammers away for a bit before Roode avoids a Cannonball from Steve. The hot tag brings in Storm for his chance to clean house but Steve pulls Rosemary away from the double suplex. Instead Rosemary mists Edwards, allowing Steve to get the pin at 7:17.
Billy Corgan (You know him. I mean, you all read the internet so you know he has power here. It's not like we ever need to TELL YOU THAT or anything.) tells Grado that TNA has come to a decision and will let him know the fate of the Feast or Fired case in the ring.
Matt and Reby accuse Dixie of adding Jeff to the match because she's jealous. This earns them a new stipulation for the title match: no countout and no DQ. Aren't all triple threats like that already?
We recap the King of the Moutain Title briefcase issue with TNA finally showing the footage of Eli Drake switching the briefcases. This was released on TNA's Youtube page so of course TNA assumed we had all seen it. Corgan comes out and says it's Drake's case but Grado gets a new contract. Oh but it's going to be above the ring in a ladder match after the break. BUILD THIS STUFF UP!
Eli Drake vs. Grado
The announcers try to figure out what's on the line here as Drake hits Grado in the back with the ladder. A hard whip sends Eli into the ladder and Grado starts his comeback, only to have Jesse Godderz come out for the save. Cue Mahabali Shera for a save but the heels hit him in the back with the briefcase. Grado goes up the ladder but dives onto the pile for an unnecessary chance. Another attempt at the case is stopped by Drake so Grado takes him down with a huge electric chair, which is enough for Grado to pull down the contract at 7:07.
Eric Young tells Bram that everyone is out to get him so they have to work together.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
Matt is defending and we don't even get big match intros. The challengers beat Matt down to start but it's Ethan grabbing a rollup for two on Jeff. Carter drops both Hardys and sends them both to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ethan down on the floor after a Side Effect and but Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but here are Bram and Eric Young to pull Jeff down and piledrive him on the concrete. Jeff is taken out as Carter gets back in and hits his Stinger Splash, drawing out Spud and Tyrus for another save.
They're quickly dispatched though, allowing Matt to kick Ethan low. The Twist of Fate is countered into the 1%er but Mike Bennett comes in (ENOUGH ALREADY!) to chair Carter in the back. That's only good for two and the Twist of Fate gets the same. Bennett throws Carter to the floor and fights into the crowd with Bennett getting in another chair shot. Matt is ready to leave and shouts at the fans that he's leaving as champion.....but here's Galloway to cash in his briefcase as the triple threat is a no contest at 18:30.
TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy
The Claymore and Future Shock give Drew the title at 18 seconds.
Drew celebrates with the title to end the show.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb
Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway/Gail Kim – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Decay b. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money – Steve pinned Edwards after mist from Rosemary
Grado b. Eli Drake – Grado pulled down the contract
Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest
Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Future Shock
Wednesday
Neville will be out 2-3 months due to a broken ankle.
NXT
Date: March 16, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Takeover is looming and we finally have a main event for the show. Last week Samoa Joe beat Sami Zayn in a two out of three falls match to earn the title shot against NXT Champion Finn Balor in just over two weeks. The rest of the card is mostly set as well and it should be interesting to see where things go from here. Let's get to it.
We open with a long recap of Joe beating Zayn last week.
Opening sequence.
Here's Sami Zayn to get things going. Last week he went to war against a 300lb Samoan and for those of you who have never done that, it's really not that fun. Sami isn't the slightest bit ashamed of what happened last week and if he had fingers just a few inches longer, he might be going to Takeover for the title shot.
Either way though, Sami wants to do something special in Dallas and here's Commissioner William Regal with an announcement. Sami does indeed deserve something special in Dallas so here's his opponent: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA, who pops up on screen to say that he's coming to NXT. As you might expect, the fans go INSANE.
Hype Bros vs. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford
Rawley is a big crowd favorite to start and shoves Crawford around the ring early on. Dawkins comes in so Mojo starts doing some football drills to keep him in the corner. A big shot drops Dawkins and Mojo declares that both of them ain't hyped. Ryder comes in for some of his signature stuff before bringing Rawley back in to clean house. A discus punch from Rawley sets up the Hype Ryder to put Crawford away at 3:24.
Video on NXT at the Arnold Classic, complete with a cameo by Arnold himself.
Emma and Dana Brooke run into Deonna Purrazzo and laugh about her loss a few weeks back. Deonna is ready for Emma tonight and trash is spoken. Dana promises that Emma will take it seriously but pats Deonna on the head anyway.
Deonna Purrazzo vs. Emma
Emma takes her down to start and stands on Deonna's hair like only a villain can. Some choking sets up the former Emma Sandwich for two before it's off to the chinlock. Deonna fights back with a few elbows to the chin but misses a charge into the corner, setting up the Dilemma. Dana is very pleased as the Emma Lock makes Deonna tap at 3:49.
Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jesse Sorensen
Ciampa is very aggressive to start and pounds Jesse into the corner, including a hard running knee to the head. A discus lariat gets two but Jesse actually makes a comeback with a good looking dropkick. Sorensen gets caught on top though, allowing Ciampa to drive a knee through Jesse's legs into the chest for a unique looking move. That floatover armbar makes Jesse tap at 2:30. Ciampa looked good here, maybe as good as he has aside from that match against Joe.
We look at Asuka saving Bayley from Nia Jax and Eva Marie.
Nia Jax/Eva Marie vs. Bayley/Asuka
Bayley and Nia get things going and the champ is thrown into the corner for the tag off to Eva. That's just fine with Bayley as she easily takes Eva to the mat and brings in Asuka. The rapid knees and kicks have Eva looking....well moderately annoyed because she doesn't know how to sell anything. It's back to Bayley but Nia gets a blind tag and plants her with a Samoan drop. Eva comes in again to crank on both arms but Bayley pops up because she's Bayley and it's Eva Marie. Nia comes in and accidentally drops a leg on Eva, allowing the Bayley to Belly to put Eva away at 4:01.
Post match Bayley and Asuka stand next to each other, allowing Regal to come out and make Asuka #1 contender for Dallas.
We look back at Baron Corbin beating up Austin Aries two weeks ago.
Aries is at his home for a satellite interview. He received a lot of offers to wrestle around the world but NXT was where he wanted to go. After the attack, Regal came and apologized to him but there was nothing to be sorry for. Corbin should have attacked him at his face because Aries has been a champion everywhere he's gone. Aries hasn't been handed anything because he earned his NXT contract. It wasn't because he's 6'6 and 300lbs but because he's earned it over the last ten years. In Dallas on April 1, Corbin is going to learn that it's a great day to be great but a bad day to be Baron Corbin.
American Alpha vs. Vaudevillains
For the #1 contendership. Gable takes Gotch to the mat to start but Gotch kicks his hands away and does something like an enziguri from the mat. Jordan comes in for a double dropkick and a double clothesline to put the Vaudevillains on the floor. Back from a break with English holding Gable in a chinlock before it's off to Gotch for a chinlock of his own. Those dastardly villains.
Gable finally sends Gotch throat first into the ropes and makes the tag off to Jordan. Everything breaks down and Gotch has to break up Grand Amplitude (“their finisher”
according to Graves. A BIG German suplex drops English with Gotch diving in for a save. Gotch and Jordan go to the floor as English gets two on Gable off a sitout powerbomb. Not that it matters as Jordan comes back in for Grand Amplitude and the pin on English at 10:25.Results
Hype Bros b. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford – Hype Ryder to Crawford
Emma b. Deonna Purrazzo – Emma Lock
Tommaso Ciampa b. Jesse Sorensen – Floatover armbar
Bayley/Asuka b. Nia Jax/Eva Marie – Bayley to Belly to Marie
American Alpha b. Vaudevillains – Grand Amplitude to English
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2016
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton
This is one of the three final episodes before Wrestlemania XXXII in April and things are....interesting. This past Monday saw the return of Roman Reigns, who showed some of the fire that made him a success near the end of the year. The question now though is how much of that will stick around and how much will be a return to his not so successful form. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Reign returning to attack HHH, resulting in the champ needing six staples to close the gash in his head.
Here's Reigns, again down the ramp which seems to be his new norm, to open things up. The fans aren't sure what to think of him to start but says that footage shows what HHH gets for running his mouth. Reigns believes in the big fight, which is what knocked HHH into next week. It's a good thing that HHH isn't in the building tonight because Reigns would beat him again just as badly. Not because he wants to you see, but because he can. At Wrestlemania in Dallas, Reigns is going to hold the title over HHH's body because he can and HHH needs to believe that.
This wasn't a great promo but above all else it was short. That's been Roman's big downfall: they leave him out there for so long that Reigns gets lost because he's just not that great of a talker. However, showing how strong of a fighter he is on Monday and then having him talk about it here in a three minute speech is the best path they can go with. If they can just avoid him being booed out of the building (remember that the next two Raw's are in Philadelphia and New York) before Wrestlemania, things will be as good as they can be.
We look back at Chris Jericho splitting up the partnership with AJ Styles and then getting laid out by Styles on Monday (in what was apparently an improvised segment due to the Neville injury).
Styles says the fans can chant for whoever they want because this is WWE. This Monday felt so good....and here's Kevin Owens. Kevin thinks AJ sounds just like Sami Zayn with all this whining. Maybe they can have their own show on the WWE Network where they hold each other and cry. AJ talks about how Owens is just like Jericho with their insecurity. Owens says the easiest answer would be they're both from Canada but that's not what matters. It's the Intercontinental Title that really matters but AJ thinks it's more important that they're having a match tonight (BIG pop for that).
The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ranallo brings up the horribly tired Battle of Ohio idea for this match. Ziggler takes it to the mat for an early front facelock but Miz reverses into a small package. They fight over headlocks because there's almost nothing left for these two to fight over these days. Ranallo keeps up the lame references by bringing up Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. Of all the people Trump is associated with and feuding with these days, the best he's got it Rosie O'Donnell?
Ziggler pulls Miz to the mat again and drops some elbows but gets sent chest first into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a top rope ax handle and slapping on a body scissors. Ziggler fights up again with his running clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a sunset flip for two. He takes too much time getting up though and it's time for the Figure Four. Ziggler is quickly in the ropes though and a superkick puts Miz away at 10:40.
We look at Ryback challenging Kalisto for a US Title match at Wrestlemania.
Kalisto accepted the challenge.
We look back at Mick Foley giving Dean Ambrose the barbed wire baseball bat.
Earlier today, Dean was here in his hometown of Cincinnati and loves every bit of it. Brock Lesnar may have been trained to fight in the UFC but on the streets of this city, every day is Wrestlemania because you fight every day and night. Pressure like that makes diamonds and Brock better be ready because nothing hurts like an education. I love these on location promos as they give things such a sense of importance and realism.
Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.
Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Goldust
D-Von gets a table out just a few seconds after the bell, drawing a very nice reaction from the crowd. The distraction lets Bubba send Goldust into the buckle a few times, all while calling Goldust a freak. After Bubba shouts about Goldust having face paint just like the Usos, Goldust starts a comeback with right hands, only to run into an elbow to the jaw. Goldust hammers away in the corner and scores with the bulldog for two. A quick D-Von distraction pays off though and Bubba kicks Goldust in the face for the pin at 3:23.
Post match R-Truth comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well. The Usos come out for the real save.
Here's Charlotte (dressing more like Nikki Bella every day) for a face to face to face meeting with Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. Charlotte gets right to the point by saying she's known the two of them (not out here yet) for most of her adult life. They've done it all together but she wouldn't be standing here today if not for the two of them. Becky comes out on her own and Charlotte isn't sure what to think of it, so here's Sasha a few seconds later. Well that was kind of pointless. Charlotte: “You finally showed up.” Sasha: “Child please, I am not on your schedule.”
Charlotte brings up their past in NXT and tells a story about calling her dad when she met the two of them. Ric thought they sounded like the Horsemen but Charlotte thought they were the Horsewomen. Over time she started to accept the idea but now she owes Ric an apology because these two could NEVER be the Horsewomen.
That's enough for Becky, who goes on a rant about how you can call her whatever she wants but at Wrestlemania she's going to be the one ripping Charlotte's arm off and becoming Divas Champion. Sasha says sorry boo boos (yes boo boos) but she's the one who took the NXT Women's Title from Charlotte and the only one who hasn't been beaten in WWE. Charlotte watches as Becky and Sasha argue over jewelry but they quickly go after the champ, sending her running off. Another good segment here as I want to see the match more than I did coming in.
Here's New Day for Kofi Kingston's match but they're swinging trash bags. After looking at a video of their beatdown, Woods says they're fine after that beatdown because they've been eating their Bootyo's. Now some people might think that they couldn't do anything after a beating like that, which sends Big E. into a perfect 1980s style over the top promo that you see when someone is pretending to be pretending to be a wrestler.
That brings them to the trash bags, which represent a member of the League of Nations each. Each one is punted out of the ring, accompanied by a good imitation of each member. The challenge for a three on two Tag Team Title match is accepted for Wrestlemania, which certainly should be interesting to see.
Kofi Kingston vs. King Barrett
Kofi takes him straight into the corner for a one man Unicorn Stampede, meaning it's time for a seven man staredown as we take a way too early break. Back with Kofi firing off the kicks to the legs but getting distracted by the League, allowing Barrett to kick him in the face to take over.
We get some clubbing (yes clubbing I say) forearms to the back for two, only to have Kofi come back with a spinning cross body for the same. Winds of Change is countered with a backflip into a DDT (sweet move) but Woods and Del Rio get on the apron. Everything breaks down on the floor and it's Kofi grabbing a rollup (and trunks) for the pin on Barrett at 7:51.
Dean is in a bar and talks how much you grow up here. You start thinking about the fights you've won and the fights you've lost, but above all else you start thinking about fighting for pride. At Wrestlemania, he's bringing Cincinnati with him and Lesnar better be ready.
Long recap of Vince, Shane and Undertaker from Raw.
The Social Outcasts are sitting on the apron and promise to be the first team to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal together. That idea lasts all of three seconds (the amount of time between Dallas saying it and Slater starting to talk) before they argue over who will be winning.
Cue Dean with a kendo stick to hammer all four of them (drawing your required Cincinnati Reds reference), sending the Outcasts running. Dean has heard that Brock is going to be in Boston next week for Smackdown because everyone knew he wasn't coming to Cincinnati. If Brock is going to be here next week, Dean will be right there with him for the fight that Brock walked away from on Raw. More good stuff here.
AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. We start fast with AJ's drop down into the dropkick as Lawler makes fun of Ranallo calling everything AJ does phenomenal. The springboard forearm is countered into a gutbuster and the backsplash crushes Styles. We take a break and come back with fighting out of Chinlock City and blocking another backsplash with raised knees. Owens: “Ranallo shut up! I can hear you from here you idiot!”
AJ gets in the running forearm to a seated Owens and sends him outside for a slingshot forearm. Back in and Owens' package piledriver slam (called a Blue Thunder Bomb by Ranallo, which isn't exactly what I would call the move) gets two but AJ kicks him in the head. They slug it out with AJ getting the best of it until he misses a spinning backfist and eats a superkick.
The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered and AJ actually torture racks him into a spinning powerbomb for two. I always love seeing a surprise move like that as it keeps you from getting bored with the same stuff over and over. AJ heads up but has to knock Owens off the top, only to have Jericho come out to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. Styles takes WAY too long getting back inside and it's the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 11:43.
Post match Jericho gives AJ a Codebreaker and mocks the AJ STYLES chants to end the show. Jericho continues to nail this heel run like he hasn't in years.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Superkick
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Goldust – Big boot
Kofi Kingston b. King Barrett – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Bobby Roode and Eric Young have been granted their releases from TNA.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev
Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox
Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash
HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee
Impact Wrestling
Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb
Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway/Gail Kim – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Decay b. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money – Steve pinned Edwards after mist from Rosemary
Grado b. Eli Drake – Grado pulled down the contract
Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest
Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Future Shock
NXT
Hype Bros b. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford – Hype Ryder to Crawford
Emma b. Deonna Purrazzo – Emma Lock
Tommaso Ciampa b. Jesse Sorensen – Floatover armbar
Bayley/Asuka b. Nia Jax/Eva Marie – Bayley to Belly to Marie
American Alpha b. Vaudevillains – Grand Amplitude to English
Smackdown
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Superkick
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Goldust – Big boot
Kofi Kingston b. King Barrett – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb