klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 26, 2018
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman
It’s the night after Elimination Chamber and the first of six Monday Night Raws before we get to New Orleans for Wrestlemania XXXIV. Last night saw the most obvious of obvious endings with Roman Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber, basically taking him from not doing much to being in the biggest match of the year overnight. You can’t fight that script you see. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Reigns winning the Chamber.
Here’s an abbreviated version of the HHH/Stephanie McMahon/Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey segment. Stephanie has DEMANDED an apology tonight. Well now it’s serious.
Here are Alexa Bliss and the now heel Mickie James for a chat. Bliss brags about the win last night and says she knew it would happen. Mickie gets some praise as well before Bliss talks about how she’s the greatest thing ever on Raw. Bayley is a lost cause and Sasha’s big ego caught up to her again.
Alexa hopes Asuka is ready for Wrestlemania so here’s Asuka in person. Asuka storms to the ring but Bliss cuts her off, saying Jax should have been in the match but she made one mistake. Cue Jax so Asuka goes after Bliss and James, only to get dropped by Jax. A triangle choke has Jax in trouble but Bliss and James come back in for the save. Cue Bayley and Sasha for the save but Jax lays them out too.
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka vs. Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss/Mickie James
Joined in progress in the match you knew was coming. Bayley gets beaten down with a few shots to the back, including a hard one from Bliss. It’s quickly off to Banks though and the double knees in the corner get two on Alexa. Sasha gets sent to the floor though and Jax runs her over like she’s not even there.
Back from a break with Banks in trouble off a Mickie chinlock. Banks kicks her away and loads up a tag but Bayley drops to the floor and stands in the aisle. Instead it’s off to Asuka (so Sasha gets an upgrade) for the rapid fire kicks, followed by a rolling leg/armbar to make Mickie tap out at 10:53.
Here’s John Cena to discuss his path to Wrestlemania. Last night he failed in the Elimination Chamber and then had a microphone shoved in his face. He wasn’t sure what to say but now he’s figured it out. After all these failures in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, it’s time for a Wrestlemania challenge. It’s time for John Cena to challenge THE UNDERTAKER for Wrestlemania.
The place goes nuts but Cena says that’s not happening either. Cena doesn’t make the matches around here and has been told that match is impossible. Therefore, his road to Wrestlemania now goes through Smackdown, because Cena is a free agent. He’ll be there tomorrow night to earn a spot, so see you then. It’s a good thing we can’t see Cena, because he’s sounding really dumb right now. Apparently everyone without a match right now has failed, meaning everyone but Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Lesnar and Reigns have failed. Just please don’t be Undertaker. Please.
Heath Slater vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray beats up Slater and Rhyno before the bell rings. The beating ensues and there’s no match.
Post match Bray sits in the corner with his eyes looking like he’s about to cry. This is all on Matt Hardy for driving Bray to this. The Great War is still going and they will face each other again. Well it didn’t work the first two times so maybe the third is the right idea.
We see the Rousey package again.
Here’s Miz to have his Wrestlemania opponent announced. First of all, we hear about how awesome Hollywood is and how Miz is only 62 days before becoming the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. After that, he’ll be the greatest champion of all time. Not Chris Jericho, not Edge, not Bret Hart and not Shawn Michaels. He’s still no Tito Santana.
Miz is tired of being treated like a joke without even having merchandise to be sold. He wants to know his opponent for Wrestlemania so earlier today he asked Kurt Angle. All he was told was that his opponent tonight MIGHT tell him who that is going to be. This sends Miz into a rant about how he deserves better than might because he’s carried this show for the last year. Here’s tonight’s opponent.
Seth Rollins vs. The Miz
Non-title. Rollins sends him outside in short order but the Miztourage get in a few shots to take over. Miz whips Seth into the barricade and they head back inside for a chinlock. The YES Kicks have Rollins in trouble and allow the announcers to debate who invented them again. Seth gets tossed to the floor again and we take a break.
Back with Seth getting back into it but not being able to hit the frog splash. Miz scores with the corner dropkicks but the top rope ax handle is broken up with a quick crotching. The superplex into a Falcon Arrow gets two on Miz but Rollins hits a dive onto the Miztourage. Back in and the frog splash (with a BIG leap) gives Rollins the pin at 14:24.
Post match here’s Finn Balor and it’s time for round two.
Finn Balor vs. The Miz
Non-title again….and the Miztourage comes in for the DQ at 24 seconds.
Anderson and Gallows come in for the save but Angle pops up on screen to say we’re continuing until there’s a winner or Miz isn’t going until Wrestlemania.
Finn Balor vs. The Miz
Non-title. Miz hits a running corner dropkick and gets two off a DDT. More shots to the back and a faceplant gets two on Balor as this is one sided so far. A running knee gives Miz two and we take a break. Back with Balor jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and hitting a kick to the head. The announcers argue over who should be #1 contender.
Cole says Balor should get a shot if he pins Miz, just like Rollins. Graves logically points out that Miz isn’t fresh coming into this match, which makes far too much sense for this. Balor hits something like an Eye of the Hurricane for two, followed by the Sling Blade to rock Miz again. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 10:50.
Post match, Cole yells at Graves for being a Miz propaganda machine as Graves wants Mantaur and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz out here. Maybe they can beat Miz too and it’ll be the same thing!
Rollins says there’s more than one way to Wrestlemania and he knows how to get there. He wants Miz and the Intercontinental Title and he wants them at Wrestlemania.
Here’s Roman Reigns for the showdown with Lesnar. Actually never mind, because Reigns says something happened and Lesnar isn’t here. It’s not like it would matter as Lesnar doesn’t show up unless he’s getting paid. Lesnar hides behind his contract and shows up when he feels like it. Last night, Lesnar was in Las Vegas but he was running around with Dana White from the UFC.
Reigns is going to get in trouble for this but he’s here every single week no matter what. He cares about this place and doesn’t just call himself a businessman like Lesnar and Heyman. He’s going to go to the back and take his yelling like a man because he actually cares about this place. This was a few years late, but it’s Roman’s best promo ever. Build this up as a fight and it’s a much more interesting main event.
Braun Strowman is going to put a symphony of destruction on Elias tonight.
Black History Month video.
Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide
The Bar is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the first fall over Titus at 9 seconds. Apollo comes in to give Titus a break and scores with a dropkick. It’s back to Titus for a slam, followed by Apollo’s jumping elbow for two. Back from a break with the champs still in control but Apollo getting over for a hot tag to Titus.
Something like a Dominator/shoulder breaker (looked a bit botched) plants Sheamus and Apollo adds a frog splash for two. The standing moonsault gets the same with Cesaro making the save. Apollo dives over the top onto Sheamus but gets crotched back inside. The assisted White Noise retains the titles in two straight falls at 11:19.
Post match the Bar celebrates, saying they have Titus Worldwide’s number and it’s zero. They brag about their string of success but there’s no one left to face.
Jarrius Robertson, a double liver transplant survivor, is getting the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.
Here’s Elias with the guitar to talk about noise pollution. Braun Strowman is noise pollution. Everything Graves says is noise pollution. It’s time for the song and of course it calls the crowd a bunch of losers, just like Strowman.
Braun Strowman vs. Elias
Elias tries to bail to the floor but Braun easily catches him and throws Elias around the ring a bit. A double ax handle to the chest sets up a running splash in the corner. Strowman hits him in the head but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias scores with a top rope ax handle but is quickly cut off as Strowman just runs him over. They head to the floor with Elias hiding grabbing a fire extinguisher to spray Strowman for the DQ at 5:04.
Post match Elias gets punched to the floor but slips out of the powerslam through the announcers’ table. Elias gets into the parking lot and escapes as a limo pulls up.
Here are HHH and Stephanie for the response to last night. First though, here’s the same video package for the third time. Stephanie says that was Ronda acting out of savage instinct and the slap was to remind her of who is boss. Now though we need an apology from Kurt Angle so we can get on the Road to Wrestlemania. Instead here’s a ticked off Ronda but Kurt runs down and cuts her off.
Ronda talks about having never been slapped before and how that took her to a different place. Angle says he needs this job but last night, he lied. The things he said HHH and Stephanie said aren’t true. Stephanie gets back in and says they’re not bad people and goes to leave again. Ronda says not so fast and says it’s Stephanie who needs to apologize to her. If she doesn’t, Stephanie’s arm is coming out of its socket. Stephanie gets in her face and apologizes in a funny bit. The bosses go to leave again but HHH punches Kurt in the face on the way out.
No word on who was in the limo.
Results
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James
Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash
Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace
The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo
Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s time for some crossover appeal as John Cena is making his return to the show in an attempt to find a way to get to Wrestlemania. You know, because that’s just so hard otherwise. Other than that we have to get ready for Fastlane because it’s cool to have a pay per view four weeks before Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Here’s John Cena to open things up. He makes no bones about it: he wants in on the Fatal Five Way for the #1 contendership at Fastlane so let’s find out what he has to do to get there. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Cue Commissioner Shane McMahon to summarize everything, only to be cut off by a LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant.
Cena says half the people want him in the match so he should go in. The fans switch to RUSEV DAY and it seems that Cena will be having a shot. This brings out Daniel Bryan, to say he agrees with Shane. They’re willing to put Cena in the main event and if he wins, he’s in the Fastlane title match. His opponent tonight: AJ Styles. The DQ finish seems obvious and that would make the most sense at this point.
Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn
Kevin Owens is on commentary. Byron: “Well let me ask you this Kevin.” Kevin: “No.” Corbin sends Sami outside to start as Owens makes bald jokes. Sami gets in a shot on the announcers’ table and a backdrop sends Corbin over the barricade. We cut to the back where Shane and Daniel are arguing over Owens being allowed to do commentary as Shane thinks he’ll interfere. Bryan thinks he’s entertaining and we take a break.
Back with another RUSEV DAY chant and let’s cut to Shane eating popcorn while Bryan continues to defend Owens being on commentary. Sami dives into a chokebreaker and Corbin’s slide under the ropes into the clothesline gets two. They head outside with Sami getting dropped but Corbin stops to yell at Owens. The distraction lets Sami hit a DDT back inside as Dolph Ziggler comes in through the crowd for a superkick to Owens. Sami glares at Ziggler and walks into the End of Days for the pin at 9:41.
Ziggler gives Corbin the Zig Zag.
Bryan says that was fun and takes off for the night with Shane’s blessing.
Post break Sami and Kevin are furious and don’t get any better when Shane (and his box of popcorn) doesn’t seem to think much of their complaint. Geez END THIS STORY ALREADY!
Naomi vs. Ruby Riott
Of course the other four are at ringside because having this be a singles match might involve developing more than one person and that’s too much to ask from the precious writers. They go to the floor for the big staredown to start and it’s an early break. Back with Riott holding a seated full nelson as we cut to Carmella answering fan questions in the back. Naomi fights up and it’s a double kick to the head for a knockdown. A shot off the top misses so Naomi goes with a scorpion kick instead. Ruby sends her into the corner though and the Riott Kick is good for the pin at 6:50.
Charlotte and Becky run the Squad off.
We go to the Fashion Police’s office where Breezango runs into the star of the new USA series Unsolved. The series is about the unsolved murders of Biggie Smalls and Tupac so we get a Biggie/Big E. joke/cameo. The actor says he’s just an actor and not a real detective, making Fandango sad. This was a rather unfunny cross promotional ad.
Here’s New Day (with the words on the screen because NEW DAY’S entrance isn’t easy to remember) for a chat about renewing their rivalry with the Usos. Big E. says it’s as hot as his inner thighs in the summer. Or winter. Or anytime. He has Kofi spritz his thighs with a bit of water so Woods can talk about how they’re ready to go to New Orleans and party on Bourbon Street as the new champions.
Cue the Usos to say they used to be the New Day with the bright colors looking like a box of Skittles. That didn’t get them to the top because they ground their way up. They’ve been here nine years and have been left on the sideline of EVERY Wrestlemania (so Kickoff Show matches don’t count).
Big E. gets right back in their faces and says they’ve taken the ball and rushed the field. They hosted Wrestlemania while the Usos were sitting in the back eating catering. New Day didn’t get here because of their daddies and they’ll take the titles for the fifth time. This brings out the Bludgeon Brothers, who bring the hammers into the ring. That’s enough for the Usos and the New Day, who bail in short order. Very strong segment here with Big E. showing some great fire before the big title match.
Earlier today, Rusev Day came in to see Shane and get a match tonight. Shane, in song, made Aiden English vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
Ziggler says he’s not back to get lost in the shuffle and deserves to main event Wrestlemania.
Bobby Roode is glad to be fighting Randy Orton because the US Title means a lot. Maybe Orton is just jealous over the top ten list. Orton comes in to say it’s because the US Title is the only title he’s never won, which is as good of a motivation as any.
Aiden English comes to the ring for his song but the fans cut him off with the Rusev Day chants. Eventually he sings Shinsuke is an artist but not the real artiste.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Aiden English
Nakamura wastes no time in firing off the kicks, followed by COME ON. More kicks have English in trouble and we take a break. Back with English getting knocked off the corner but a Ruse distraction lets English hit a reverse fireman’s carry slam for two. The running knees in the corner miss but Aiden’s high crossbody just seems to fire Nakamura up. Good Vibrations into the running knee has English in trouble and the Kinshasa is good for the pin at 6:22.
Cena comes out for a quick staredown before his match.
AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting an early shoulder block for two. A chickening/half nelson has AJ in trouble but he fights out with some chops for a breather. The tornado DDT out of the corner lands awkwardly and gives Cena two as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the ProtoBomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle but AJ comes back with the fireman’s carry neckbreaker for a near fall of his own.
A TKO of all things gives Cena the same and Baron Corbin is watching in the back. AJ’s torture rack neckbreaker and Cena’s hard running clothesline get two each but Cena charges into an enziguri as we take another break. Back again with AJ getting two off a clothesline of his own but a Lionsault misses. Cena grabs a Code Red for two more and floats over from the near fall into the STF.
That’s reversed as well and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two. The springboard 450 hits knees though and the AA connects. Cena tries another though and winds up on the floor where a missed charge sends him into the steps. AJ won’t take the countout though and gets AA’d through the announcers’ table for a knockout. Cena rolls back in as the referee checks on AJ, meaning Styles can dive back in to beat the ten count. There’s the Calf Crusher but Cena powers to his feet for another AA and the pin at 22:00.
Post match Corbin, Owens and Zayn come down to beat on Cena and Styles. Ziggler runs in for the save but decks AJ. That earns him an AA to end the show.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days
Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa
John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 28, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo
We’re still closing in on Takeover: New Orleans but this time we’ll be doing it without Johnny Gargano. Last week Gargano put his NXT career on the line for another shot at the NXT Title but former partner Tommaso Ciampa cost him the title with a crutch shot to the back. Now we need to figure out what’s going on in New Orleans so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s title match with Gargano and wife Candice LeRae stared back at the ring in sadness as Ciampa looked at them in contempt.
Opening sequence.
Velveteen Dream vs. Tyler Bate
This should be good. Dream crawls away in reverse and the fans are split, albeit more for Dream than Bate. Tyler puts on a short form clinic by sliding between Dream’s legs, jumping over him, and wristlocking Dream into a rollup for two. A dropkick has Dream livid on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Bate slipping out of a suplex but running into an elbow to the jaw. Dream gyrates a bit and grabs a reverse chinlock, followed by a reverse chinlock for good measure. Bate fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner for two as the pace picks up a bit. The airplane spin has Dream in trouble but he’s still able to elbow his way out of the reverse version.
The Tyler Driver 97 is countered with a backdrop and one heck of a spinning spinebuster gives Dream two. They slug it out from their knees with Bate getting the better of it but Dream sends him hard into the buckle. Dream goes to the top but gets crotched. Bate is shoved down anyway and the Purple Rainmaker is good for the pin at 12:08.
Paul Ellering and the Authors of Pain want the Tag Team Titles back.
We see William Regal giving Gargano his termination papers, but Gargano will still be required to make media appearances and live events that he was already signed for. That sounds important. The referee admitted that he made a mistake and is sorry that he cost Gargano his career. Gargano seems to accept it.
Cezar Bononi vs. Adam Cole
Actually hang on a second as Cole grabs a mic and offers Bononi a spot on the team. O’Reilly throws him a shirt but it’s a ruse so Cole can stomp him down in the corner. Bononi is right back with a Michinoku Driver for two but another distraction lets Cole hit a superkick. A running knee to the back of the head ends Bononi at 2:55. Just a win to keep Cole hot until he gets a match at Takeover.
We recap Kairi Sane winning the Mae Young Classic by defeating Shayna Baszler, who has gone full villain since. Baszler has destroyed various people, typically by wrecking their arms. It seems that Baszler is on her way to the Women’s Title but Sane is trying to slow her down.
The Street Profits interview people about the upcoming Dusty Classic. The first round starts next week.
Kairi Sane vs. Shayna Baszler
Sane hammers away to start but Shayna takes her down by the leg. Kairi is sent to the apron and Baszler starts in on the ribs to slow Sane down. A knee to the ribs takes us to a break with Sane in trouble. Back with Baszler getting two off a gutwrench suplex before starting on the arm.
The armbar is reversed into a rollup for two and Sane chops away in the corner. Sane gets a breather off a spear and the sliding knee in the corner has Baszler in trouble. A top rope forearm gives Sane two and a spinning backfist puts Baszler down again. It’s too early for the Insane Elbow though as Baszler kicks her in the head, setting up the Kirifuda Clutch to make Sane tap at 7:22.
Post match Baszler calls out Ember Moon, promising to leave with either the title or her limb.
Here are Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega for a chat. Vega calls Almas Mr. 4-0 (over Gargano) and laughs about Gargano having his wife there for the last loss. Gargano was bragging about earning respect but Almas earns MONEY. Almas talks about making Johnny Wrestling Johnny Jobless but Almas is still called the NXT Champion. They go to leave but Aleister Black cuts them off. Before Black can say anything though, here’s Killian Dain for the brawl, including a running crossbody to take Black down and end the show.
Results
Velveteen Dream b. Tyler Bate – Purple Rainmaker
Adam Cole b. Cezar Bononi – Running knee to the back of the head
Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt
It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.
Opening sequence.
Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus
Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.
Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.
Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.
OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.
Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.
El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter
Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.
Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.
Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.
Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.
Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park
Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.
Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.
The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.
Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.
Rosemary vs. Hania
Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.
Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.
This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.
We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.
KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.
The announcers preview next week’s show.
Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.
Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards
Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.
Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.
Callihan gives him a double underhook shoulder breaker and we cut to the back where OVE beats up Lashley. Back in the arena, Sami puts a chair on Eddie’s chest and hits it with a baseball bat...but the bat keeps going and HITS EDDIE IN THE FACE (with a sickening sound) to end the show. That shot to the face wasn’t planned, mainly because it’s about as dangerous of a thing as you could have done.
Results
Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam
El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt
Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash
Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding
Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James
Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash
Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace
The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo
Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher
Smackdown
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days
Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa
John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Velveteen Dream b. Tyler Bate – Purple Rainmaker
Adam Cole b. Cezar Bononi – Running knee to the back of the head
Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch
Impact Wrestling
Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam
El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt
Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash
Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding
Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 26, 2018
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman
It’s the night after Elimination Chamber and the first of six Monday Night Raws before we get to New Orleans for Wrestlemania XXXIV. Last night saw the most obvious of obvious endings with Roman Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber, basically taking him from not doing much to being in the biggest match of the year overnight. You can’t fight that script you see. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Reigns winning the Chamber.
Here’s an abbreviated version of the HHH/Stephanie McMahon/Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey segment. Stephanie has DEMANDED an apology tonight. Well now it’s serious.
Here are Alexa Bliss and the now heel Mickie James for a chat. Bliss brags about the win last night and says she knew it would happen. Mickie gets some praise as well before Bliss talks about how she’s the greatest thing ever on Raw. Bayley is a lost cause and Sasha’s big ego caught up to her again.
Alexa hopes Asuka is ready for Wrestlemania so here’s Asuka in person. Asuka storms to the ring but Bliss cuts her off, saying Jax should have been in the match but she made one mistake. Cue Jax so Asuka goes after Bliss and James, only to get dropped by Jax. A triangle choke has Jax in trouble but Bliss and James come back in for the save. Cue Bayley and Sasha for the save but Jax lays them out too.
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka vs. Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss/Mickie James
Joined in progress in the match you knew was coming. Bayley gets beaten down with a few shots to the back, including a hard one from Bliss. It’s quickly off to Banks though and the double knees in the corner get two on Alexa. Sasha gets sent to the floor though and Jax runs her over like she’s not even there.
Back from a break with Banks in trouble off a Mickie chinlock. Banks kicks her away and loads up a tag but Bayley drops to the floor and stands in the aisle. Instead it’s off to Asuka (so Sasha gets an upgrade) for the rapid fire kicks, followed by a rolling leg/armbar to make Mickie tap out at 10:53.
Here’s John Cena to discuss his path to Wrestlemania. Last night he failed in the Elimination Chamber and then had a microphone shoved in his face. He wasn’t sure what to say but now he’s figured it out. After all these failures in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, it’s time for a Wrestlemania challenge. It’s time for John Cena to challenge THE UNDERTAKER for Wrestlemania.
The place goes nuts but Cena says that’s not happening either. Cena doesn’t make the matches around here and has been told that match is impossible. Therefore, his road to Wrestlemania now goes through Smackdown, because Cena is a free agent. He’ll be there tomorrow night to earn a spot, so see you then. It’s a good thing we can’t see Cena, because he’s sounding really dumb right now. Apparently everyone without a match right now has failed, meaning everyone but Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Lesnar and Reigns have failed. Just please don’t be Undertaker. Please.
Heath Slater vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray beats up Slater and Rhyno before the bell rings. The beating ensues and there’s no match.
Post match Bray sits in the corner with his eyes looking like he’s about to cry. This is all on Matt Hardy for driving Bray to this. The Great War is still going and they will face each other again. Well it didn’t work the first two times so maybe the third is the right idea.
We see the Rousey package again.
Here’s Miz to have his Wrestlemania opponent announced. First of all, we hear about how awesome Hollywood is and how Miz is only 62 days before becoming the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. After that, he’ll be the greatest champion of all time. Not Chris Jericho, not Edge, not Bret Hart and not Shawn Michaels. He’s still no Tito Santana.
Miz is tired of being treated like a joke without even having merchandise to be sold. He wants to know his opponent for Wrestlemania so earlier today he asked Kurt Angle. All he was told was that his opponent tonight MIGHT tell him who that is going to be. This sends Miz into a rant about how he deserves better than might because he’s carried this show for the last year. Here’s tonight’s opponent.
Seth Rollins vs. The Miz
Non-title. Rollins sends him outside in short order but the Miztourage get in a few shots to take over. Miz whips Seth into the barricade and they head back inside for a chinlock. The YES Kicks have Rollins in trouble and allow the announcers to debate who invented them again. Seth gets tossed to the floor again and we take a break.
Back with Seth getting back into it but not being able to hit the frog splash. Miz scores with the corner dropkicks but the top rope ax handle is broken up with a quick crotching. The superplex into a Falcon Arrow gets two on Miz but Rollins hits a dive onto the Miztourage. Back in and the frog splash (with a BIG leap) gives Rollins the pin at 14:24.
Post match here’s Finn Balor and it’s time for round two.
Finn Balor vs. The Miz
Non-title again….and the Miztourage comes in for the DQ at 24 seconds.
Anderson and Gallows come in for the save but Angle pops up on screen to say we’re continuing until there’s a winner or Miz isn’t going until Wrestlemania.
Finn Balor vs. The Miz
Non-title. Miz hits a running corner dropkick and gets two off a DDT. More shots to the back and a faceplant gets two on Balor as this is one sided so far. A running knee gives Miz two and we take a break. Back with Balor jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and hitting a kick to the head. The announcers argue over who should be #1 contender.
Cole says Balor should get a shot if he pins Miz, just like Rollins. Graves logically points out that Miz isn’t fresh coming into this match, which makes far too much sense for this. Balor hits something like an Eye of the Hurricane for two, followed by the Sling Blade to rock Miz again. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 10:50.
Post match, Cole yells at Graves for being a Miz propaganda machine as Graves wants Mantaur and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz out here. Maybe they can beat Miz too and it’ll be the same thing!
Rollins says there’s more than one way to Wrestlemania and he knows how to get there. He wants Miz and the Intercontinental Title and he wants them at Wrestlemania.
Here’s Roman Reigns for the showdown with Lesnar. Actually never mind, because Reigns says something happened and Lesnar isn’t here. It’s not like it would matter as Lesnar doesn’t show up unless he’s getting paid. Lesnar hides behind his contract and shows up when he feels like it. Last night, Lesnar was in Las Vegas but he was running around with Dana White from the UFC.
Reigns is going to get in trouble for this but he’s here every single week no matter what. He cares about this place and doesn’t just call himself a businessman like Lesnar and Heyman. He’s going to go to the back and take his yelling like a man because he actually cares about this place. This was a few years late, but it’s Roman’s best promo ever. Build this up as a fight and it’s a much more interesting main event.
Braun Strowman is going to put a symphony of destruction on Elias tonight.
Black History Month video.
Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide
The Bar is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the first fall over Titus at 9 seconds. Apollo comes in to give Titus a break and scores with a dropkick. It’s back to Titus for a slam, followed by Apollo’s jumping elbow for two. Back from a break with the champs still in control but Apollo getting over for a hot tag to Titus.
Something like a Dominator/shoulder breaker (looked a bit botched) plants Sheamus and Apollo adds a frog splash for two. The standing moonsault gets the same with Cesaro making the save. Apollo dives over the top onto Sheamus but gets crotched back inside. The assisted White Noise retains the titles in two straight falls at 11:19.
Post match the Bar celebrates, saying they have Titus Worldwide’s number and it’s zero. They brag about their string of success but there’s no one left to face.
Jarrius Robertson, a double liver transplant survivor, is getting the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.
Here’s Elias with the guitar to talk about noise pollution. Braun Strowman is noise pollution. Everything Graves says is noise pollution. It’s time for the song and of course it calls the crowd a bunch of losers, just like Strowman.
Braun Strowman vs. Elias
Elias tries to bail to the floor but Braun easily catches him and throws Elias around the ring a bit. A double ax handle to the chest sets up a running splash in the corner. Strowman hits him in the head but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias scores with a top rope ax handle but is quickly cut off as Strowman just runs him over. They head to the floor with Elias hiding grabbing a fire extinguisher to spray Strowman for the DQ at 5:04.
Post match Elias gets punched to the floor but slips out of the powerslam through the announcers’ table. Elias gets into the parking lot and escapes as a limo pulls up.
Here are HHH and Stephanie for the response to last night. First though, here’s the same video package for the third time. Stephanie says that was Ronda acting out of savage instinct and the slap was to remind her of who is boss. Now though we need an apology from Kurt Angle so we can get on the Road to Wrestlemania. Instead here’s a ticked off Ronda but Kurt runs down and cuts her off.
Ronda talks about having never been slapped before and how that took her to a different place. Angle says he needs this job but last night, he lied. The things he said HHH and Stephanie said aren’t true. Stephanie gets back in and says they’re not bad people and goes to leave again. Ronda says not so fast and says it’s Stephanie who needs to apologize to her. If she doesn’t, Stephanie’s arm is coming out of its socket. Stephanie gets in her face and apologizes in a funny bit. The bosses go to leave again but HHH punches Kurt in the face on the way out.
No word on who was in the limo.
Results
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James
Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash
Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace
The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo
Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s time for some crossover appeal as John Cena is making his return to the show in an attempt to find a way to get to Wrestlemania. You know, because that’s just so hard otherwise. Other than that we have to get ready for Fastlane because it’s cool to have a pay per view four weeks before Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Here’s John Cena to open things up. He makes no bones about it: he wants in on the Fatal Five Way for the #1 contendership at Fastlane so let’s find out what he has to do to get there. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Cue Commissioner Shane McMahon to summarize everything, only to be cut off by a LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant.
Cena says half the people want him in the match so he should go in. The fans switch to RUSEV DAY and it seems that Cena will be having a shot. This brings out Daniel Bryan, to say he agrees with Shane. They’re willing to put Cena in the main event and if he wins, he’s in the Fastlane title match. His opponent tonight: AJ Styles. The DQ finish seems obvious and that would make the most sense at this point.
Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn
Kevin Owens is on commentary. Byron: “Well let me ask you this Kevin.” Kevin: “No.” Corbin sends Sami outside to start as Owens makes bald jokes. Sami gets in a shot on the announcers’ table and a backdrop sends Corbin over the barricade. We cut to the back where Shane and Daniel are arguing over Owens being allowed to do commentary as Shane thinks he’ll interfere. Bryan thinks he’s entertaining and we take a break.
Back with another RUSEV DAY chant and let’s cut to Shane eating popcorn while Bryan continues to defend Owens being on commentary. Sami dives into a chokebreaker and Corbin’s slide under the ropes into the clothesline gets two. They head outside with Sami getting dropped but Corbin stops to yell at Owens. The distraction lets Sami hit a DDT back inside as Dolph Ziggler comes in through the crowd for a superkick to Owens. Sami glares at Ziggler and walks into the End of Days for the pin at 9:41.
Ziggler gives Corbin the Zig Zag.
Bryan says that was fun and takes off for the night with Shane’s blessing.
Post break Sami and Kevin are furious and don’t get any better when Shane (and his box of popcorn) doesn’t seem to think much of their complaint. Geez END THIS STORY ALREADY!
Naomi vs. Ruby Riott
Of course the other four are at ringside because having this be a singles match might involve developing more than one person and that’s too much to ask from the precious writers. They go to the floor for the big staredown to start and it’s an early break. Back with Riott holding a seated full nelson as we cut to Carmella answering fan questions in the back. Naomi fights up and it’s a double kick to the head for a knockdown. A shot off the top misses so Naomi goes with a scorpion kick instead. Ruby sends her into the corner though and the Riott Kick is good for the pin at 6:50.
Charlotte and Becky run the Squad off.
We go to the Fashion Police’s office where Breezango runs into the star of the new USA series Unsolved. The series is about the unsolved murders of Biggie Smalls and Tupac so we get a Biggie/Big E. joke/cameo. The actor says he’s just an actor and not a real detective, making Fandango sad. This was a rather unfunny cross promotional ad.
Here’s New Day (with the words on the screen because NEW DAY’S entrance isn’t easy to remember) for a chat about renewing their rivalry with the Usos. Big E. says it’s as hot as his inner thighs in the summer. Or winter. Or anytime. He has Kofi spritz his thighs with a bit of water so Woods can talk about how they’re ready to go to New Orleans and party on Bourbon Street as the new champions.
Cue the Usos to say they used to be the New Day with the bright colors looking like a box of Skittles. That didn’t get them to the top because they ground their way up. They’ve been here nine years and have been left on the sideline of EVERY Wrestlemania (so Kickoff Show matches don’t count).
Big E. gets right back in their faces and says they’ve taken the ball and rushed the field. They hosted Wrestlemania while the Usos were sitting in the back eating catering. New Day didn’t get here because of their daddies and they’ll take the titles for the fifth time. This brings out the Bludgeon Brothers, who bring the hammers into the ring. That’s enough for the Usos and the New Day, who bail in short order. Very strong segment here with Big E. showing some great fire before the big title match.
Earlier today, Rusev Day came in to see Shane and get a match tonight. Shane, in song, made Aiden English vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
Ziggler says he’s not back to get lost in the shuffle and deserves to main event Wrestlemania.
Bobby Roode is glad to be fighting Randy Orton because the US Title means a lot. Maybe Orton is just jealous over the top ten list. Orton comes in to say it’s because the US Title is the only title he’s never won, which is as good of a motivation as any.
Aiden English comes to the ring for his song but the fans cut him off with the Rusev Day chants. Eventually he sings Shinsuke is an artist but not the real artiste.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Aiden English
Nakamura wastes no time in firing off the kicks, followed by COME ON. More kicks have English in trouble and we take a break. Back with English getting knocked off the corner but a Ruse distraction lets English hit a reverse fireman’s carry slam for two. The running knees in the corner miss but Aiden’s high crossbody just seems to fire Nakamura up. Good Vibrations into the running knee has English in trouble and the Kinshasa is good for the pin at 6:22.
Cena comes out for a quick staredown before his match.
AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting an early shoulder block for two. A chickening/half nelson has AJ in trouble but he fights out with some chops for a breather. The tornado DDT out of the corner lands awkwardly and gives Cena two as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the ProtoBomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle but AJ comes back with the fireman’s carry neckbreaker for a near fall of his own.
A TKO of all things gives Cena the same and Baron Corbin is watching in the back. AJ’s torture rack neckbreaker and Cena’s hard running clothesline get two each but Cena charges into an enziguri as we take another break. Back again with AJ getting two off a clothesline of his own but a Lionsault misses. Cena grabs a Code Red for two more and floats over from the near fall into the STF.
That’s reversed as well and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two. The springboard 450 hits knees though and the AA connects. Cena tries another though and winds up on the floor where a missed charge sends him into the steps. AJ won’t take the countout though and gets AA’d through the announcers’ table for a knockout. Cena rolls back in as the referee checks on AJ, meaning Styles can dive back in to beat the ten count. There’s the Calf Crusher but Cena powers to his feet for another AA and the pin at 22:00.
Post match Corbin, Owens and Zayn come down to beat on Cena and Styles. Ziggler runs in for the save but decks AJ. That earns him an AA to end the show.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days
Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa
John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 28, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo
We’re still closing in on Takeover: New Orleans but this time we’ll be doing it without Johnny Gargano. Last week Gargano put his NXT career on the line for another shot at the NXT Title but former partner Tommaso Ciampa cost him the title with a crutch shot to the back. Now we need to figure out what’s going on in New Orleans so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s title match with Gargano and wife Candice LeRae stared back at the ring in sadness as Ciampa looked at them in contempt.
Opening sequence.
Velveteen Dream vs. Tyler Bate
This should be good. Dream crawls away in reverse and the fans are split, albeit more for Dream than Bate. Tyler puts on a short form clinic by sliding between Dream’s legs, jumping over him, and wristlocking Dream into a rollup for two. A dropkick has Dream livid on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Bate slipping out of a suplex but running into an elbow to the jaw. Dream gyrates a bit and grabs a reverse chinlock, followed by a reverse chinlock for good measure. Bate fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner for two as the pace picks up a bit. The airplane spin has Dream in trouble but he’s still able to elbow his way out of the reverse version.
The Tyler Driver 97 is countered with a backdrop and one heck of a spinning spinebuster gives Dream two. They slug it out from their knees with Bate getting the better of it but Dream sends him hard into the buckle. Dream goes to the top but gets crotched. Bate is shoved down anyway and the Purple Rainmaker is good for the pin at 12:08.
Paul Ellering and the Authors of Pain want the Tag Team Titles back.
We see William Regal giving Gargano his termination papers, but Gargano will still be required to make media appearances and live events that he was already signed for. That sounds important. The referee admitted that he made a mistake and is sorry that he cost Gargano his career. Gargano seems to accept it.
Cezar Bononi vs. Adam Cole
Actually hang on a second as Cole grabs a mic and offers Bononi a spot on the team. O’Reilly throws him a shirt but it’s a ruse so Cole can stomp him down in the corner. Bononi is right back with a Michinoku Driver for two but another distraction lets Cole hit a superkick. A running knee to the back of the head ends Bononi at 2:55. Just a win to keep Cole hot until he gets a match at Takeover.
We recap Kairi Sane winning the Mae Young Classic by defeating Shayna Baszler, who has gone full villain since. Baszler has destroyed various people, typically by wrecking their arms. It seems that Baszler is on her way to the Women’s Title but Sane is trying to slow her down.
The Street Profits interview people about the upcoming Dusty Classic. The first round starts next week.
Kairi Sane vs. Shayna Baszler
Sane hammers away to start but Shayna takes her down by the leg. Kairi is sent to the apron and Baszler starts in on the ribs to slow Sane down. A knee to the ribs takes us to a break with Sane in trouble. Back with Baszler getting two off a gutwrench suplex before starting on the arm.
The armbar is reversed into a rollup for two and Sane chops away in the corner. Sane gets a breather off a spear and the sliding knee in the corner has Baszler in trouble. A top rope forearm gives Sane two and a spinning backfist puts Baszler down again. It’s too early for the Insane Elbow though as Baszler kicks her in the head, setting up the Kirifuda Clutch to make Sane tap at 7:22.
Post match Baszler calls out Ember Moon, promising to leave with either the title or her limb.
Here are Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega for a chat. Vega calls Almas Mr. 4-0 (over Gargano) and laughs about Gargano having his wife there for the last loss. Gargano was bragging about earning respect but Almas earns MONEY. Almas talks about making Johnny Wrestling Johnny Jobless but Almas is still called the NXT Champion. They go to leave but Aleister Black cuts them off. Before Black can say anything though, here’s Killian Dain for the brawl, including a running crossbody to take Black down and end the show.
Results
Velveteen Dream b. Tyler Bate – Purple Rainmaker
Adam Cole b. Cezar Bononi – Running knee to the back of the head
Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt
It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.
Opening sequence.
Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus
Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.
Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.
Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.
OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.
Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.
El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter
Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.
Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.
Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.
Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.
Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park
Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.
Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.
The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.
Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.
Rosemary vs. Hania
Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.
Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.
This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.
We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.
KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.
The announcers preview next week’s show.
Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.
Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards
Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.
Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.
Callihan gives him a double underhook shoulder breaker and we cut to the back where OVE beats up Lashley. Back in the arena, Sami puts a chair on Eddie’s chest and hits it with a baseball bat...but the bat keeps going and HITS EDDIE IN THE FACE (with a sickening sound) to end the show. That shot to the face wasn’t planned, mainly because it’s about as dangerous of a thing as you could have done.
Results
Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam
El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt
Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash
Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding
Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James
Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash
Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered
Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace
The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo
Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher
Smackdown
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days
Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa
John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Velveteen Dream b. Tyler Bate – Purple Rainmaker
Adam Cole b. Cezar Bononi – Running knee to the back of the head
Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch
Impact Wrestling
Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam
El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt
Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash
Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding
Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup