klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2011
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Guest Star: Ariel Winter
The main story tonight is that were finding out the guest host of Wrestlemania tonight. Ive heard various possibilities, some of which are good and some of which are horrible. Its also the final push towards the PPV this Sunday which is more or less set in stone. We may have an issue with the title match being pushed tonight as Lawlers mother passed away earlier today so theres no way to know if hell be here or on his game tonight. Thats not a criticism mind you, merely an observation. Lets get to it.
We open in the arena with Cole welcoming us and talking about the guest host tonight. No Lawler as its Matthews in there instead.
Orton vs. Sheamus, Morrison vs. Truth and Cena vs. Punk tonight with the last of those starting RIGHT NOW!
John Cena vs. CM Punk
There must be a winner to this. During Cenas entrance we see a clip from last week where Lawler slipped Cena a chair to keep Cena from getting destroyed. Cena gets on the mic and thanks Lawler for helping him out last week. He talks about how its Valentines Day and how nothing says I love you like a pair of tickets to WWE. During this part theres a Rocky chant. Love isnt the only thing in the air. WRESTLEMANIA is in the air!
Cena talks about the guest host could be, throwing out names like Sammi from Jersey Shore, Lady Gaga and Michael Cole. Using the clues that Vince gave last week, he proves that Cole is in a love triangle with Miz and Riley and that Michael Cole may not be a man. More importantly though, this Sunday is the Elimination Chamber and after the year Cena has had, he needs this Wrestlemania moment. He dealt with a group of radicals all year called the Nexus, but Sunday theres only one member to deal with.
Cue Punk with a mic of his own. Punk says that the record in Grays Sports Almanac (Love those movies) it says that the last two times theyve fought Punk has won. Punk says hes a good person unlike Cena and the bell rings. If anyone gets involved in this theyre out of the Chamber match. Cena hits the post shoulder first and hits the floor. Punk takes him down with a flying clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Punk getting a two count off a big kick. If Nexus gets involved, Punk is out of the Chamber. Punk works the arm but Cena hits an armdrag to get free. Body scissors by Punk takes more energy out of Cena. Cenas shorts are a bit shorter tonight and are above the knees. Cena fights back and gets the Protoplex and 5 Knuckle Shuffle but cant hit the FU.
Punk takes him down with a leg lariat and we get a headscissors. Cena is like man please and just stands up. Back to their feet and Cena hits a gutwrench suplex for two. Cena goes up for the top rope Fameasser but Punk makes the stop. Corner knee hits but the bulldog is reversed into a failed STF attempt. Swinging neckbreaker by Punk sets up the GTS which cant connect.
CM goes up and tries a cross body but Cena rolls through into the FU. Punk gets to the ropes though and hits the floor. A Nexus clad arm sticks out from under the ring and hands Punk a chair. Punk slides it into the ring and the referee goes to get it. The arm comes out again with a wrench. Punk drills Cena with it and the GTS ends it at 10:36.
The announcers say that Lawler isnt here due to the death of his mother but that hell be at the PPV.
Were waiting on the guest host as we take a break.
Friday is the 600th Smackdown.
Heres Alberto but you already know the joke that most people make when saying his name so Ill spare you. He talks about destiny and Mania and all that jazz. Cue Edge to a nice ovation. He says that hes been so busy fighting Ziggler that he almost forgot about Alberto hitting him with a guitar two weeks ago. Edge says he also has a destiny and takes down Alberto. He sets for the spear but Ricardo saves. Alberto goes to the apron but gets speared off.
Cue Vickie who says that Sunday there will be the world title match in the Chamber but shes here to introduce the new World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler. We see a clip of the illegal spear from Friday. This week on Smackdown were going to have the official coronation of Ziggler as the new champion. Edge is apparently stripped of the title and Vickie also has proof that Edge assaulted Teddy. The segment just kind of ends with Vickie laughing. So hes not champion anymore?
Divas Title up next.
Another 2-21-11 promo with the song and a shot of someones chest. Well its certainly not Trish Stratus.
Miz vs. Bryan tonight.
Divas Title: Natalya vs. Eve Torres
This is a lumberjill match and Natalya is in the ring when we start. Eve grabs a headlock to start which results in a standoff with both trying dropkicks. They slaps hands and go to the mat. Surfboard by Natalya which is always awesome looking. Even counters and is sitting on Natalyas legs. This is more of a gymnastics routine than a match but its fun.
Josh mentions that Natalya was voted as the dream Diva Valentines Day date which Cole makes fun of. Natalya is sent to the floor and the Divas beat the hell out of her. As retaliation Eve dives on them to take out nearly all of them at once. Back in Natalya tries a cradle but Eve rolls back onto it for the pin to retain at 3:40.
Back from a break with the Bellas getting on Eve for no apparent reason. A brawl breaks out with Natalya trying to save. Gail jumps in there as well and referees break it up.
Cole: If the Divas keep this up theyre going to need chaperones. Oh you know whats coming. Also theres a guest star tonight: Ariel Winter, apparently HHHs costar.
Mark Henry comes down for a match but Sheamus jumps him during his entrance and beats the hell out of him. Sheamus grabs a mic and says thats a preview of what hell do in the Chamber.
Miz vs. Bryan up next.
We get a clip of the tag match from last week where Bryan and Miz got into it some.
The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
Riley is on commentary here. Crowd is into Bryan and we get a chant for him. Miz takes him down with a shoulder block to start. Josh makes a Grammys reference of all things. Bryan grabs the arm which gets him nowhere but a dropkick does. Miz takes Bryan down with a big boot. For some reason we keep cutting to shorts of the commentators. Off to a reverse chinlock by Miz.
Bryan escapes and grabs a rear naked choke but Miz grabs the ropes. Another back elbow by Miz gets two. Another chinlock now but the crowd is staying in this which is a good sign. Bryan gets a corner dropkick for two. They slug it out a bit and Miz is knocked to the floor. Running knee from the apron sends Miz through the barricade in front of the time keepers area.
Back in the ring and a top rope dropkick gets two. Good match here so far. LeBell Lock almost goes on but Miz knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away in the corner but not being able to hit a suplerplex. Instead Bryan gets a sunset bomb for a close two. We see a replay of the neckbreaker to the floor just before the break and I didnt realize how sick it was.
Bryan unleashes the kicks and Miz counters into a rollup for two. Another gets two. Miz tries a reverse DDT into a neckbreaker but gets countered into a German. BIG kick to the head of the world champion gets two and a huge reaction from the crowd. LeBell Lock cant get hooked so Bryan tries a victory roll. Miz drops him forward and then the Skull Crushing Finale ends it at 12:40.
Miz gets on the mic and says that Lawler isnt here tonight because his mother passed away. He hopes that Lawler doesnt use this as an excuse at the PPV. Nice heel heat there and the catchphrase takes us to a break.
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga vs. John Morrison/R-Truth
Cole says hell explain this came about in a bit. Morrison has a BIG black eye. Oh thats from the kick last week. During the break the GM made this match due to what happened last week. Well if thats the case why did he make the singles match into the first place? It was supposed to be Morrison vs. Truth remember? McGillicutty vs. Truth to start us off and Truth is in trouble.
Off to Otunga and hes still in trouble. Matthews thinks McGillicutty handed Punk the wrench earlier. Morrison comes in and is all angry and aggressive. I kind of like it actually. Hes beating the hell out of both guys and kicks McGillicutty in the ribs. Truth dives out to take out Otunga so Morrison can hit the running knee to end McGillicutty at 3:19.
Truth and Morrison chase off Ryan when he tries to attack them.
Theres a plug for Jerichos new book.
The chick from Chaperone and Modern Family is here as the guest star. She introduces the Khali Kiss Cam. Shes a kid mind you and dances to Khalis music. Khalis belly button is above her shoulders. The Kiss Cam tonight is of people in the audience. Santino kisses Tamina and Vickie kisses Dolph. Apparently theyre in the audience? Maryse wont kiss Ted so she kisses Yoshi Tatsu. Ryder gets kissed on the cheek by Regal in the moment of the night. Horny pops up with a box of candy for her and gets a kiss on the cheek. To all the people that says this is stupid, lighten up. This was like 2 minutes long and harmless.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Orton is introduced as the Viper now. Randy takes him down into the corner and gets a Thesz Press with punches. Heres the stomp and knee drop which misses. Naturally we spend the whole match talking about the Chamber. Sheamus takes over with his power stuff and gets the slingshot shoulder block for two. Orton tries to fight back but runs into a boot in the corner.
Apparently that doesnt hurt as he hits some of his basic stuff. Orton charges ahead but gets caught in the Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Middle rope suplex puts Orton down but Sheamus cant capitalize. Sheamus comes at him but walks into the RKO for the finish at 5:07. Punk and Nexus comes out for a beatdown but the other Chamber guys make the save and beat up Nexus.
A long limo pulls up and we see a womans feet. Naturally the camera stays on the feet as we take a break.
Back and the host is causing electrical noises in the arena. There go the lights. Theyre going out all over the arena. There goes the Tron and the Elimination Chamber sign. Vince isnt advertising a PPV? This MUST be huge. A light comes on the screen and its .THE ROCK!!!!!!!!! Im stunned at this. He looks like hes in great shape. To put it mildly, the place erupted.
After seven long years FINALLY, The Rock has come back to Anaheim, to Raw, and Home. When he had the mic up you could see his hand shaking. He has many nicknames, but tonight hes Dwayne. Its been a long time since hes been here and its not because of money or to promote a movie but because of the fans. The fans helped him accomplish his goals and dreams. He wants to thank the fans and tell them he loves them and because of them hes back in the ring and hes never ever going away.
He says he called Vince and Vince said he needed a host that was electrifying. He needed someone that would get the people talking. He needed a host that would ignite things and that would be Justin Bieber. Justin is cool, but only the Rock could be the host of Mania. He hasnt lost a step on the mic at all. At the drop of a dime hell lay the smack down at Wrestlemania, but the question is to who.
Could it be Miz? He says hes heard Miz is awesome. Rock isnt a scientist but if youre always saying youre awesome it means you absolutely suck. Rock says there is one man hes going to see at Mania, but theres an E-Mail before he gets to say it. Rock isnt pleased. He cuts Cole off before he can answer, asking if Cole thinks anyone gives a damn what the GM has to say.
Rock: Michael Cole, is that what you think? Cole: Well Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! You sit down at that table and know your damn role and shut your damn mouth! He says if Cole doesnt then Rock will have some special Facebook pictures tonight of him taking that computer, shining it up real nice and putting it straight up Michael Coles candy ass. Now sit down because you look like a drunk hobbit.
Anyway there is one man that Rock has to see face to face. Rock has met him before and thinks hes a cool guy. When Rock left this guy came in and started talking trash about the Rock. His name is JOHN CENA. WWE has gone from Austin 3:16 to Can Your Smell What the Rock is Cooking to .You Cant See Me? He does the hand motion and asks if hes playing peek-a-boo. A blindfolded Stevie Wonder in a basement can see you.
Everyone can see Cena. He runs around here in colored shirts looking like a bright bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Rock has said ass about 15 times in 10 minutes. Hell see Cena at Wrestlemania. Hell also see Miz and everyone else at Mania. Rock guaran-damn-tees three things for Mania. Hell show the world hes the most electrifying man in entertainment. At the drop of a dime hell lay the Smacketh Down on all their candy asses. Finally, the Rock and the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of Rocks fans will electrify Wrestlemania .IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!!
Wow. I have no idea what else to say. This was one of the best moments I have ever seen and the idea of Cena vs. Rock in any form or fashion, even talking, is breathtaking.
Massive posing ends the show.
Results
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Eve Torres b. Natalya Torres reversed a Natalya cradle into a pin
The Miz b. Daniel Bryan Skull Crushing Finale
R-Truth/John Morrison b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Running knee smash to McGillicutty
Randy Orton b. Sheamus RKO
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.79, down significantly from the previous week of 1.97.
Raw got a 3.14, down a good bit also but Rock should help that a lot.
NXT
Date: February 15, 2011
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews
Its another week of NXT after a good show last week if I remember it correctly. I dont think theres an elimination tonight but I could be wrong. Either way the final three are here now and two of them are entertaining enough. After last nights return of the Rock Im in an optimistic mood about WWE at the moment so lets get to it.
And NXT isnt playing on WWE.com. It says the video Im attempting to watch isnt available right now and to please try back later. Ah there it is.
Striker is in the ring with the rookies and next week is an elimination. Then the next week well have the finale. Good to know. The first challenge this week is the Smash and Grab Challenge. There is a piñata above all of their heads with NXT Dollars inside. You have to break the piñata and run the dollars up to their respective pro. The Pros are coaching. As Josh says, coaching what? How to hit a piñata? They keep moving the piñata and Curtis, who is going first, cant hit anything. He takes off the blindfold for a bit and after putting it back on cant break the piñata. This is so damn stupid. Curtis gets zero.
Clay is up second and BLASTS the piñata after about a second comes off the clock and takes all his time to get all the dollars he can. He jogs up the ramp and cashes it in with plenty of time.
Bateman says his strategy is to hit the piñata hard then run the money to the pro. Bateman says stay classy San Diego. I never liked that movie. Clay got $4,800 NXT Dollars. Bateman hits it but cant break it so he grabs it and pulls it down. Clay wins more or less by default. Im officially stupider having watched that.
Clay vs. R-Truth next.
R-Truth vs. Brodus Clay
Truth takes him to the floor quickly and hits an over the top dive to take over. Back in and its all Truth here. He tries a monkey flip because hes an idiot and is launched off. Clay gets a suplex and its off to the nerve hold. Truth gets a jawbreaker and a dropkick to the knee to break that up. A middle rope dropkick misses though and a splash ends Truth clean in 2:50. Yep Clay just beat a guy that could get the world title shot at Mania this Sunday perfectly clean. Eh its not like this show is paid attention to anyway. No rating as it was more or less a glorified squash.
Bateman vs. Bryan, as in rookie vs. pro, later.
Mania ad. That song is slowly growing on me. The chorus is catchy.
Time for Challenge #2. There are three stools in buckets. Above those are other buckets which apparently has unpleasant stuff in it. Ah apparently its trivia and if you lose you get messy. Here are the categories and each have three questions, each with 100-300 dollars each.
80s
90s
Title History
Wrestlemania
Divas
They manage to screw up what decade is which as Brodus picks 80s and the question is about Smackdown. No one knows who was in DX and won the Jesse the Body Award (Rick Rude). These questions arent that hard if you think about them (in 1994 this superstar won the WWE Title for the first time in 11 years).
The questions are a bit harder here, such as which Diva managed the most wrestlers to championships (Sunny) and who is the only wrestler to win the WWE Title in a cage match (Batista). This is fun. Theyre not saying the score but apparently Brodus wins. The other two are slimed. Todd: YOU CANT DO THAT ON TELEVISION! 10 points for those that get that reference. That gave Brodus three more immunity points for a total of 5.
We recap the Rocks return which literally had me shaking and I wasnt even a big Rock fan. Obviously for the sake of time they clip this down but they show a good deal of it. They air this like it aired last night, as in not a video package with music etc. We get his entrance, talking as Dwayne, making fun of Miz, the e-mail and running down Cole, the talking about Cena and ripping him apart, the swearing and the ending. They aired almost ten minutes of this.
Daniel Bryan vs. Derrick Bateman
Good deal of time for this match. Yeah they take a break before Batemans entrance. I thought they would. They shake hands to start. Ziggler cracks jokes and it almost sounded like he said something about ROH but Im not sure. Test of strength to start and Bateman bridges out after being taken to the ground. Ziggler says hes the champion now (again I think as hes not being focused on).
All Bryan to start as Ziggler makes fun of Ricardos Spanish. Its just Maryse, Ziggler and Ricardo this week up there. Bryan gets out of a wristlock and gets two. Crowd doesnt seem too interested. Ziggler wants to know who theyre supposed to root for. Ricardo: Not the Chargers. Bryan works on the arm as is his custom. Bateman outmoves him though and sends him to the floor.
Suicide Dive has Bryan in trouble as we dont take a break. Ok yes we do. I think Todd tried to send them to one too early and had to talk a bit more to get them there. Apparently Ziggler said This isnt ROH so dont shake hands. I love little lines like those.
2-21-11 ad which allegedly shows two men. Ive heard about a dozen different reasons and explanations as to why its either HHH, Taker, Sting or some combination of them all. My take on it: well find out in six days so stop wasting my time talking about a shadow that might not be the Undertaker that you think is on the steps outside of a house.
Back with Bryan in control again. Bateman says hes learned his lesson as Bryan kicks him in the back. Bryan says elbow and then hits an elbow to take Bateman down. He goes up and gets a nice reaction for it. He misses the headbutt so its a moot point but nice posing. Big clothesline by Bateman for two. Bateman gets a pair of rollups for two each. Bryan tries the LeBell Lock and Bateman lifts him up into kind of a powerbomb for a long two.
Good match so far. Bryan takes him down but Bateman goes for the LeBell Lock. Bryan rolls through the hold and gets a SICK version of it of his own for the tap out at 8:50. Surprisingly quite good match from these two here and by surprising I mean Batemans part.
Results
Brodus Clay won the Smash and Grab Challenge
Brodus Clay b. R-Truth Splash
Brodus Clay won the Trivia Challenge
Daniel Bryan b. Derrick Bateman LeBell Lock
Wednesday
Isis, the big chick from NXT Season 3 that never appeared, got a tryout with TNA.
Thursday
Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town
Its the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isnt clear of jail time after his drug charges. Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. Lets get to it.
We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3rd. Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old. RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight. Im not saying a word.
Heres Immortal to open the show. Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration. He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving. As hes talking we see Flair arriving. Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight. Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings. Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight. Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now thats the plan.
Eric now shifts over to Flair who hes not sure about. It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesnt like so Flair has until next week. Cue Flairs music and here he is. He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum. That person was his 3rd ex wife. Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.
Did you forget hes a wrestling god? When he was in Europe people didnt call him Ric. They just called him God. Cue a God chant of course. Flair says that hell see them later and we really get no resolution here. Flair definitely came off like a face here.
The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3rd. They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later. Thats the only way to put it really.
Were back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back. Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and its a big brawl.
We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing. Now we talk about the ladder match. Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday? I didnt know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.
Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.
Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez
Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living hell out of him while the girls cheer him on. Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt. Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her. Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl. Wasnt there a match going on? Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this. Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didnt seriously hurt his neck Ill be surprised. Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.
Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight. This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.
Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table. It looks like a party of some kind. He says that hes a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe. Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, hes going to feed everyone here with that pig. Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too. That last bit was funny.
Pope wants to know who is first but itll cost $10 a pop. Cue Joes music and hes pissed. Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest. Joe drills Pope in the corner and its a Muscle Buster through the pig. Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.
Back and Robbie E and Cookie say theyre going to win the title again. In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and its time for a match.
X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E
Not sure if this is a title match or not. Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says shes ugly with the makeup. She gets pissed off and leaves. Yes this is a title match apparently. Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble. Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight. Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over. And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57. No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here. Traci bounces down and its a mini cat fight.
Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them. He has presents for them and of course they get Iced. AJ can wait until after his big match though. They chant chug and down the drinks. Storm drinks AJ's just because he can.
AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.
Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles
See? I told you it was next. AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt. He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt. Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them. Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two. Matt grabs a Cravate and heres Flair to play cheerleader.
AJ gets up and seems to rub Matts face to take him to the mat. Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ. Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up. And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get. Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.
Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.
Anderson is pissed and wants Bischoff.
The Jarretts are in a hot tub. Cant complain much with Karen in there.
Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox. Hes pissed that RVD is getting the title shot tonight. Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks hes been robbed. The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight. Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here. Put him in the ring and thats ratings. Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.
Anderson says hell take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more. Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee. Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight. Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying. Anderson is supposed to be TNAs Austin and its just not there. Points for trying though I guess.
Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight. Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in. Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does. Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.
AJ is pissed about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.
Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita
The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect. Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially. Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet. Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up. Worlds Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and its off to Sarita again. Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.
The cousins are tagging in a lot. Rosita doesnt seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off. Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor. Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52. Can we please break 4 minutes? Please?
Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita. Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers shes supposed to have an accent. Sarita wants Velvet's career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.
The Jarretts are going to dinner. More sex is implied.
Kurt is pissed and is going to their dinner party.
Madison is talking to Tara and says shes knocked out the entire locker room so shes bored. Theres an open challenge next week.
Next week theres a pose down between Terry and Steiner.
We recap RVDs world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss. Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD. Hardy says hes going to hurt Van Dam.
The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3rd. Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef. And heres Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant. He wants to know where the tip is. This was uh .odd.
RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity. The title is just a bonus.
Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike wont let them show the footage. D-Von wont give comments but Ray comes out to the table. Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it. Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will. Tazz says no you wont because you crossed the line Sunday. Isnt that the point of the company. Ray slaps Tenays headset off and leaves.
TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
Anderson is the guest referee. He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit. Taz says that Jeffs entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga. Oh dear hes coming out of an egg. I give up. RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up. He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top. Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.
All RVD to start. To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break. Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldnt see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away. Either way it gets two for the challenger. Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.
Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVDs ribs into the post. Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff. Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover. Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again. Swanton gets two. Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidently runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing. A low blow by Hardy when Anderson cant see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.
Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow. Heres a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.
Results
Hernandez b. Douglas Williams Border Toss
Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse
Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles Twist of Hate
Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rositas legs
Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam Twist of Hate
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2011
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Guest Star: Ariel Winter
The main story tonight is that were finding out the guest host of Wrestlemania tonight. Ive heard various possibilities, some of which are good and some of which are horrible. Its also the final push towards the PPV this Sunday which is more or less set in stone. We may have an issue with the title match being pushed tonight as Lawlers mother passed away earlier today so theres no way to know if hell be here or on his game tonight. Thats not a criticism mind you, merely an observation. Lets get to it.
We open in the arena with Cole welcoming us and talking about the guest host tonight. No Lawler as its Matthews in there instead.
Orton vs. Sheamus, Morrison vs. Truth and Cena vs. Punk tonight with the last of those starting RIGHT NOW!
John Cena vs. CM Punk
There must be a winner to this. During Cenas entrance we see a clip from last week where Lawler slipped Cena a chair to keep Cena from getting destroyed. Cena gets on the mic and thanks Lawler for helping him out last week. He talks about how its Valentines Day and how nothing says I love you like a pair of tickets to WWE. During this part theres a Rocky chant. Love isnt the only thing in the air. WRESTLEMANIA is in the air!
Cena talks about the guest host could be, throwing out names like Sammi from Jersey Shore, Lady Gaga and Michael Cole. Using the clues that Vince gave last week, he proves that Cole is in a love triangle with Miz and Riley and that Michael Cole may not be a man. More importantly though, this Sunday is the Elimination Chamber and after the year Cena has had, he needs this Wrestlemania moment. He dealt with a group of radicals all year called the Nexus, but Sunday theres only one member to deal with.
Cue Punk with a mic of his own. Punk says that the record in Grays Sports Almanac (Love those movies) it says that the last two times theyve fought Punk has won. Punk says hes a good person unlike Cena and the bell rings. If anyone gets involved in this theyre out of the Chamber match. Cena hits the post shoulder first and hits the floor. Punk takes him down with a flying clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Punk getting a two count off a big kick. If Nexus gets involved, Punk is out of the Chamber. Punk works the arm but Cena hits an armdrag to get free. Body scissors by Punk takes more energy out of Cena. Cenas shorts are a bit shorter tonight and are above the knees. Cena fights back and gets the Protoplex and 5 Knuckle Shuffle but cant hit the FU.
Punk takes him down with a leg lariat and we get a headscissors. Cena is like man please and just stands up. Back to their feet and Cena hits a gutwrench suplex for two. Cena goes up for the top rope Fameasser but Punk makes the stop. Corner knee hits but the bulldog is reversed into a failed STF attempt. Swinging neckbreaker by Punk sets up the GTS which cant connect.
CM goes up and tries a cross body but Cena rolls through into the FU. Punk gets to the ropes though and hits the floor. A Nexus clad arm sticks out from under the ring and hands Punk a chair. Punk slides it into the ring and the referee goes to get it. The arm comes out again with a wrench. Punk drills Cena with it and the GTS ends it at 10:36.
The announcers say that Lawler isnt here due to the death of his mother but that hell be at the PPV.
Were waiting on the guest host as we take a break.
Friday is the 600th Smackdown.
Heres Alberto but you already know the joke that most people make when saying his name so Ill spare you. He talks about destiny and Mania and all that jazz. Cue Edge to a nice ovation. He says that hes been so busy fighting Ziggler that he almost forgot about Alberto hitting him with a guitar two weeks ago. Edge says he also has a destiny and takes down Alberto. He sets for the spear but Ricardo saves. Alberto goes to the apron but gets speared off.
Cue Vickie who says that Sunday there will be the world title match in the Chamber but shes here to introduce the new World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler. We see a clip of the illegal spear from Friday. This week on Smackdown were going to have the official coronation of Ziggler as the new champion. Edge is apparently stripped of the title and Vickie also has proof that Edge assaulted Teddy. The segment just kind of ends with Vickie laughing. So hes not champion anymore?
Divas Title up next.
Another 2-21-11 promo with the song and a shot of someones chest. Well its certainly not Trish Stratus.
Miz vs. Bryan tonight.
Divas Title: Natalya vs. Eve Torres
This is a lumberjill match and Natalya is in the ring when we start. Eve grabs a headlock to start which results in a standoff with both trying dropkicks. They slaps hands and go to the mat. Surfboard by Natalya which is always awesome looking. Even counters and is sitting on Natalyas legs. This is more of a gymnastics routine than a match but its fun.
Josh mentions that Natalya was voted as the dream Diva Valentines Day date which Cole makes fun of. Natalya is sent to the floor and the Divas beat the hell out of her. As retaliation Eve dives on them to take out nearly all of them at once. Back in Natalya tries a cradle but Eve rolls back onto it for the pin to retain at 3:40.
Back from a break with the Bellas getting on Eve for no apparent reason. A brawl breaks out with Natalya trying to save. Gail jumps in there as well and referees break it up.
Cole: If the Divas keep this up theyre going to need chaperones. Oh you know whats coming. Also theres a guest star tonight: Ariel Winter, apparently HHHs costar.
Mark Henry comes down for a match but Sheamus jumps him during his entrance and beats the hell out of him. Sheamus grabs a mic and says thats a preview of what hell do in the Chamber.
Miz vs. Bryan up next.
We get a clip of the tag match from last week where Bryan and Miz got into it some.
The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
Riley is on commentary here. Crowd is into Bryan and we get a chant for him. Miz takes him down with a shoulder block to start. Josh makes a Grammys reference of all things. Bryan grabs the arm which gets him nowhere but a dropkick does. Miz takes Bryan down with a big boot. For some reason we keep cutting to shorts of the commentators. Off to a reverse chinlock by Miz.
Bryan escapes and grabs a rear naked choke but Miz grabs the ropes. Another back elbow by Miz gets two. Another chinlock now but the crowd is staying in this which is a good sign. Bryan gets a corner dropkick for two. They slug it out a bit and Miz is knocked to the floor. Running knee from the apron sends Miz through the barricade in front of the time keepers area.
Back in the ring and a top rope dropkick gets two. Good match here so far. LeBell Lock almost goes on but Miz knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away in the corner but not being able to hit a suplerplex. Instead Bryan gets a sunset bomb for a close two. We see a replay of the neckbreaker to the floor just before the break and I didnt realize how sick it was.
Bryan unleashes the kicks and Miz counters into a rollup for two. Another gets two. Miz tries a reverse DDT into a neckbreaker but gets countered into a German. BIG kick to the head of the world champion gets two and a huge reaction from the crowd. LeBell Lock cant get hooked so Bryan tries a victory roll. Miz drops him forward and then the Skull Crushing Finale ends it at 12:40.
Miz gets on the mic and says that Lawler isnt here tonight because his mother passed away. He hopes that Lawler doesnt use this as an excuse at the PPV. Nice heel heat there and the catchphrase takes us to a break.
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga vs. John Morrison/R-Truth
Cole says hell explain this came about in a bit. Morrison has a BIG black eye. Oh thats from the kick last week. During the break the GM made this match due to what happened last week. Well if thats the case why did he make the singles match into the first place? It was supposed to be Morrison vs. Truth remember? McGillicutty vs. Truth to start us off and Truth is in trouble.
Off to Otunga and hes still in trouble. Matthews thinks McGillicutty handed Punk the wrench earlier. Morrison comes in and is all angry and aggressive. I kind of like it actually. Hes beating the hell out of both guys and kicks McGillicutty in the ribs. Truth dives out to take out Otunga so Morrison can hit the running knee to end McGillicutty at 3:19.
Truth and Morrison chase off Ryan when he tries to attack them.
Theres a plug for Jerichos new book.
The chick from Chaperone and Modern Family is here as the guest star. She introduces the Khali Kiss Cam. Shes a kid mind you and dances to Khalis music. Khalis belly button is above her shoulders. The Kiss Cam tonight is of people in the audience. Santino kisses Tamina and Vickie kisses Dolph. Apparently theyre in the audience? Maryse wont kiss Ted so she kisses Yoshi Tatsu. Ryder gets kissed on the cheek by Regal in the moment of the night. Horny pops up with a box of candy for her and gets a kiss on the cheek. To all the people that says this is stupid, lighten up. This was like 2 minutes long and harmless.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Orton is introduced as the Viper now. Randy takes him down into the corner and gets a Thesz Press with punches. Heres the stomp and knee drop which misses. Naturally we spend the whole match talking about the Chamber. Sheamus takes over with his power stuff and gets the slingshot shoulder block for two. Orton tries to fight back but runs into a boot in the corner.
Apparently that doesnt hurt as he hits some of his basic stuff. Orton charges ahead but gets caught in the Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Middle rope suplex puts Orton down but Sheamus cant capitalize. Sheamus comes at him but walks into the RKO for the finish at 5:07. Punk and Nexus comes out for a beatdown but the other Chamber guys make the save and beat up Nexus.
A long limo pulls up and we see a womans feet. Naturally the camera stays on the feet as we take a break.
Back and the host is causing electrical noises in the arena. There go the lights. Theyre going out all over the arena. There goes the Tron and the Elimination Chamber sign. Vince isnt advertising a PPV? This MUST be huge. A light comes on the screen and its .THE ROCK!!!!!!!!! Im stunned at this. He looks like hes in great shape. To put it mildly, the place erupted.
After seven long years FINALLY, The Rock has come back to Anaheim, to Raw, and Home. When he had the mic up you could see his hand shaking. He has many nicknames, but tonight hes Dwayne. Its been a long time since hes been here and its not because of money or to promote a movie but because of the fans. The fans helped him accomplish his goals and dreams. He wants to thank the fans and tell them he loves them and because of them hes back in the ring and hes never ever going away.
He says he called Vince and Vince said he needed a host that was electrifying. He needed someone that would get the people talking. He needed a host that would ignite things and that would be Justin Bieber. Justin is cool, but only the Rock could be the host of Mania. He hasnt lost a step on the mic at all. At the drop of a dime hell lay the smack down at Wrestlemania, but the question is to who.
Could it be Miz? He says hes heard Miz is awesome. Rock isnt a scientist but if youre always saying youre awesome it means you absolutely suck. Rock says there is one man hes going to see at Mania, but theres an E-Mail before he gets to say it. Rock isnt pleased. He cuts Cole off before he can answer, asking if Cole thinks anyone gives a damn what the GM has to say.
Rock: Michael Cole, is that what you think? Cole: Well Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! You sit down at that table and know your damn role and shut your damn mouth! He says if Cole doesnt then Rock will have some special Facebook pictures tonight of him taking that computer, shining it up real nice and putting it straight up Michael Coles candy ass. Now sit down because you look like a drunk hobbit.
Anyway there is one man that Rock has to see face to face. Rock has met him before and thinks hes a cool guy. When Rock left this guy came in and started talking trash about the Rock. His name is JOHN CENA. WWE has gone from Austin 3:16 to Can Your Smell What the Rock is Cooking to .You Cant See Me? He does the hand motion and asks if hes playing peek-a-boo. A blindfolded Stevie Wonder in a basement can see you.
Everyone can see Cena. He runs around here in colored shirts looking like a bright bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Rock has said ass about 15 times in 10 minutes. Hell see Cena at Wrestlemania. Hell also see Miz and everyone else at Mania. Rock guaran-damn-tees three things for Mania. Hell show the world hes the most electrifying man in entertainment. At the drop of a dime hell lay the Smacketh Down on all their candy asses. Finally, the Rock and the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of Rocks fans will electrify Wrestlemania .IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!!
Wow. I have no idea what else to say. This was one of the best moments I have ever seen and the idea of Cena vs. Rock in any form or fashion, even talking, is breathtaking.
Massive posing ends the show.
Results
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Eve Torres b. Natalya Torres reversed a Natalya cradle into a pin
The Miz b. Daniel Bryan Skull Crushing Finale
R-Truth/John Morrison b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Running knee smash to McGillicutty
Randy Orton b. Sheamus RKO
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.79, down significantly from the previous week of 1.97.
Raw got a 3.14, down a good bit also but Rock should help that a lot.
NXT
Date: February 15, 2011
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews
Its another week of NXT after a good show last week if I remember it correctly. I dont think theres an elimination tonight but I could be wrong. Either way the final three are here now and two of them are entertaining enough. After last nights return of the Rock Im in an optimistic mood about WWE at the moment so lets get to it.
And NXT isnt playing on WWE.com. It says the video Im attempting to watch isnt available right now and to please try back later. Ah there it is.
Striker is in the ring with the rookies and next week is an elimination. Then the next week well have the finale. Good to know. The first challenge this week is the Smash and Grab Challenge. There is a piñata above all of their heads with NXT Dollars inside. You have to break the piñata and run the dollars up to their respective pro. The Pros are coaching. As Josh says, coaching what? How to hit a piñata? They keep moving the piñata and Curtis, who is going first, cant hit anything. He takes off the blindfold for a bit and after putting it back on cant break the piñata. This is so damn stupid. Curtis gets zero.
Clay is up second and BLASTS the piñata after about a second comes off the clock and takes all his time to get all the dollars he can. He jogs up the ramp and cashes it in with plenty of time.
Bateman says his strategy is to hit the piñata hard then run the money to the pro. Bateman says stay classy San Diego. I never liked that movie. Clay got $4,800 NXT Dollars. Bateman hits it but cant break it so he grabs it and pulls it down. Clay wins more or less by default. Im officially stupider having watched that.
Clay vs. R-Truth next.
R-Truth vs. Brodus Clay
Truth takes him to the floor quickly and hits an over the top dive to take over. Back in and its all Truth here. He tries a monkey flip because hes an idiot and is launched off. Clay gets a suplex and its off to the nerve hold. Truth gets a jawbreaker and a dropkick to the knee to break that up. A middle rope dropkick misses though and a splash ends Truth clean in 2:50. Yep Clay just beat a guy that could get the world title shot at Mania this Sunday perfectly clean. Eh its not like this show is paid attention to anyway. No rating as it was more or less a glorified squash.
Bateman vs. Bryan, as in rookie vs. pro, later.
Mania ad. That song is slowly growing on me. The chorus is catchy.
Time for Challenge #2. There are three stools in buckets. Above those are other buckets which apparently has unpleasant stuff in it. Ah apparently its trivia and if you lose you get messy. Here are the categories and each have three questions, each with 100-300 dollars each.
80s
90s
Title History
Wrestlemania
Divas
They manage to screw up what decade is which as Brodus picks 80s and the question is about Smackdown. No one knows who was in DX and won the Jesse the Body Award (Rick Rude). These questions arent that hard if you think about them (in 1994 this superstar won the WWE Title for the first time in 11 years).
The questions are a bit harder here, such as which Diva managed the most wrestlers to championships (Sunny) and who is the only wrestler to win the WWE Title in a cage match (Batista). This is fun. Theyre not saying the score but apparently Brodus wins. The other two are slimed. Todd: YOU CANT DO THAT ON TELEVISION! 10 points for those that get that reference. That gave Brodus three more immunity points for a total of 5.
We recap the Rocks return which literally had me shaking and I wasnt even a big Rock fan. Obviously for the sake of time they clip this down but they show a good deal of it. They air this like it aired last night, as in not a video package with music etc. We get his entrance, talking as Dwayne, making fun of Miz, the e-mail and running down Cole, the talking about Cena and ripping him apart, the swearing and the ending. They aired almost ten minutes of this.
Daniel Bryan vs. Derrick Bateman
Good deal of time for this match. Yeah they take a break before Batemans entrance. I thought they would. They shake hands to start. Ziggler cracks jokes and it almost sounded like he said something about ROH but Im not sure. Test of strength to start and Bateman bridges out after being taken to the ground. Ziggler says hes the champion now (again I think as hes not being focused on).
All Bryan to start as Ziggler makes fun of Ricardos Spanish. Its just Maryse, Ziggler and Ricardo this week up there. Bryan gets out of a wristlock and gets two. Crowd doesnt seem too interested. Ziggler wants to know who theyre supposed to root for. Ricardo: Not the Chargers. Bryan works on the arm as is his custom. Bateman outmoves him though and sends him to the floor.
Suicide Dive has Bryan in trouble as we dont take a break. Ok yes we do. I think Todd tried to send them to one too early and had to talk a bit more to get them there. Apparently Ziggler said This isnt ROH so dont shake hands. I love little lines like those.
2-21-11 ad which allegedly shows two men. Ive heard about a dozen different reasons and explanations as to why its either HHH, Taker, Sting or some combination of them all. My take on it: well find out in six days so stop wasting my time talking about a shadow that might not be the Undertaker that you think is on the steps outside of a house.
Back with Bryan in control again. Bateman says hes learned his lesson as Bryan kicks him in the back. Bryan says elbow and then hits an elbow to take Bateman down. He goes up and gets a nice reaction for it. He misses the headbutt so its a moot point but nice posing. Big clothesline by Bateman for two. Bateman gets a pair of rollups for two each. Bryan tries the LeBell Lock and Bateman lifts him up into kind of a powerbomb for a long two.
Good match so far. Bryan takes him down but Bateman goes for the LeBell Lock. Bryan rolls through the hold and gets a SICK version of it of his own for the tap out at 8:50. Surprisingly quite good match from these two here and by surprising I mean Batemans part.
Results
Brodus Clay won the Smash and Grab Challenge
Brodus Clay b. R-Truth Splash
Brodus Clay won the Trivia Challenge
Daniel Bryan b. Derrick Bateman LeBell Lock
Wednesday
Isis, the big chick from NXT Season 3 that never appeared, got a tryout with TNA.
Thursday
Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town
Its the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isnt clear of jail time after his drug charges. Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. Lets get to it.
We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3rd. Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old. RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight. Im not saying a word.
Heres Immortal to open the show. Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration. He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving. As hes talking we see Flair arriving. Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight. Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings. Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight. Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now thats the plan.
Eric now shifts over to Flair who hes not sure about. It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesnt like so Flair has until next week. Cue Flairs music and here he is. He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum. That person was his 3rd ex wife. Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.
Did you forget hes a wrestling god? When he was in Europe people didnt call him Ric. They just called him God. Cue a God chant of course. Flair says that hell see them later and we really get no resolution here. Flair definitely came off like a face here.
The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3rd. They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later. Thats the only way to put it really.
Were back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back. Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and its a big brawl.
We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing. Now we talk about the ladder match. Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday? I didnt know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.
Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.
Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez
Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living hell out of him while the girls cheer him on. Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt. Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her. Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl. Wasnt there a match going on? Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this. Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didnt seriously hurt his neck Ill be surprised. Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.
Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight. This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.
Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table. It looks like a party of some kind. He says that hes a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe. Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, hes going to feed everyone here with that pig. Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too. That last bit was funny.
Pope wants to know who is first but itll cost $10 a pop. Cue Joes music and hes pissed. Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest. Joe drills Pope in the corner and its a Muscle Buster through the pig. Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.
Back and Robbie E and Cookie say theyre going to win the title again. In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and its time for a match.
X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E
Not sure if this is a title match or not. Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says shes ugly with the makeup. She gets pissed off and leaves. Yes this is a title match apparently. Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble. Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight. Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over. And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57. No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here. Traci bounces down and its a mini cat fight.
Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them. He has presents for them and of course they get Iced. AJ can wait until after his big match though. They chant chug and down the drinks. Storm drinks AJ's just because he can.
AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.
Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles
See? I told you it was next. AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt. He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt. Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them. Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two. Matt grabs a Cravate and heres Flair to play cheerleader.
AJ gets up and seems to rub Matts face to take him to the mat. Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ. Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up. And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get. Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.
Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.
Anderson is pissed and wants Bischoff.
The Jarretts are in a hot tub. Cant complain much with Karen in there.
Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox. Hes pissed that RVD is getting the title shot tonight. Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks hes been robbed. The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight. Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here. Put him in the ring and thats ratings. Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.
Anderson says hell take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more. Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee. Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight. Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying. Anderson is supposed to be TNAs Austin and its just not there. Points for trying though I guess.
Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight. Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in. Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does. Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.
AJ is pissed about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.
Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita
The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect. Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially. Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet. Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up. Worlds Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and its off to Sarita again. Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.
The cousins are tagging in a lot. Rosita doesnt seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off. Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor. Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52. Can we please break 4 minutes? Please?
Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita. Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers shes supposed to have an accent. Sarita wants Velvet's career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.
The Jarretts are going to dinner. More sex is implied.
Kurt is pissed and is going to their dinner party.
Madison is talking to Tara and says shes knocked out the entire locker room so shes bored. Theres an open challenge next week.
Next week theres a pose down between Terry and Steiner.
We recap RVDs world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss. Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD. Hardy says hes going to hurt Van Dam.
The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3rd. Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef. And heres Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant. He wants to know where the tip is. This was uh .odd.
RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity. The title is just a bonus.
Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike wont let them show the footage. D-Von wont give comments but Ray comes out to the table. Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it. Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will. Tazz says no you wont because you crossed the line Sunday. Isnt that the point of the company. Ray slaps Tenays headset off and leaves.
TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
Anderson is the guest referee. He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit. Taz says that Jeffs entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga. Oh dear hes coming out of an egg. I give up. RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up. He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top. Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.
All RVD to start. To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break. Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldnt see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away. Either way it gets two for the challenger. Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.
Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVDs ribs into the post. Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff. Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover. Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again. Swanton gets two. Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidently runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing. A low blow by Hardy when Anderson cant see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.
Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow. Heres a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.
Results
Hernandez b. Douglas Williams Border Toss
Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse
Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles Twist of Hate
Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rositas legs
Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam Twist of Hate