klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 2.2, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
It's the last week before Elimination Chamber and the word on the street is that there's going to be another Elimination Chamber match announced, although in the form of a three on three WarGames style match. I'd be more than cool with this as the Chamber is the only way they're going to be able to use the idea in WWE due to the size of the extra ring taking up too much space. Rock is in the house too. Let's get to it.
Heyman opens the show and talks about all the sacrifices he's made over the years with a focus on ECW. Then he came to WWE (F at the time) and saw a rookie named Brock Lesnar. Heyman turned him into the Next Big Thing and saw a man that could carry WWE into the future and break Sammartino's record. Oh wait he means Punk should have broken the record.
Apparently something very bad is going to happen and the Sword of Damocles is hanging over Paul's head, but it's going to fall onto Punk's head. Therefore, tonight he's going to tender his resignation, because he isn't going to distract Punk from winning the title back. He's going to miss Punk but he'll be cheering for him.
Cue Punk with a concerned look on his face. Paul says that Vince believes that he was behind Shield, Lesnar and Maddox and even though he wasn't, it doesn't matter. Punk says both he and the people look up to him so he can't leave. Heyman says he told Punk when he started that in the land of the McMahons, perception is reality.
What happened at the Rumble is nothing compared to what's coming, so remember him as a friend and not a martyr. Punk says forget all this because on Sunday, everything will be back to normal. He'll win the title and Heyman will be in his corner. Paul says he'll be there on Sunday and they hug. Ok then.
Great Khali vs. Mark Henry
Apparently Mysterio was injured last week so he's out of the Chamber. He wasn't at the house show I was at last night so maybe there's something to that. We've currently got Bryan, Orton and Henry inside there. Henry pounds Khali into the corner to start but runs into an elbow and boot to slow him down. Henry shrugs it off and hits some clotheslines to put Khali down and the World's Strongest Slam ends this at 1:34.
Horny gets a slam as well post match.
Jericho wants in the Chamber but Booker says he has to beat Daniel Bryan first. Booker yells at Teddy a bit too, and we get a Jericho impression of Booker for fun.
Vickie is on the phone with someone when Heyman comes in. Paul wants a stipulation added to the title match Sunday but a phone call from Vince interrupts them. Heyman asks to talk to Vince so Vickie turns speaker on. Paul apologizes to Vince for what Lesnar did and knows that Vince will be back soon. Vince tells him to shut up and wants to know the stipulation Heyman had in mind. Paul suggests that if Rock gets counted out or DQ'ed that Punk gets the title back. Vince says put it in writing and it's a deal before hanging up. We get dial tone off an iPhone 5. Methinks this is fake.
Fandango is coming. I saw him last night and I don't want to see him again.
Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho
We start things off with a feeling out process as Cole talks about the history between these two on the first season of NXT. Jericho sends him to the apron but misses the springboard dropkick. Bryan hits the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with more back and forth action, such as Bryan hitting a clothesline but having a running dropkick into the corner countered into a Walls attempt.
The Lionsault hits knees though and Bryan goes up. Jericho breaks up whatever Daniel was going to try though and tries a superplex, only to be knocked off, giving us the FLYING GOAT HEADBUTT for two. Jericho tries for the Walls again but gets countered into a NO Lock. Jericho rolls through again and loads up the Walls, only for Bryan to roll through and kick him in the chest. A rollup gets two for Chris and after ducking another kick, Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:48.
3MB vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Ryback
Methinks this isn't going to last long. Slater vs. Ryback gets things going and there's Warrior gorilla press drop to start. Off to Sheamus vs. McIntyre with Sheamus pounding away quickly. A right hand to the face slows Sheamus down but he comes right back with the forearms to the chest. Off to Cena vs. Mahal and Cena gives a look as if to say let's get this over with. John easily knocks him down and hits the Shuffle before everything breaks down. We get stereo AA/Shell Shock and White Noise with Cena pinning Mahal at 2:50.
Regarding the six man, this was perfect. We got to see how awesome these three can be together, it was short, and it's not like 3MB loses anything here. I liked this a lot and the idea and execution were perfect.
Ryback says he's going to feast on Sunday. Sheamus says he doesn't believe in the Shield but he believes they can fight tonight instead. Cena says if they want some come get some.
We get a clip of Del Rio breaking Show's bus on Friday and pouring paint on him. Earlier today Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were laughing about it and Show massacred them.
Here's Big Show to the ring so he can knock out Matt Striker. Show picks up the mic and walks out. Ok then.
Sammartino HOF video.
Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger
Dutch Mantel of all people, known here as Zeb Coulter, is with Swagger here. Ryder hits a fast Broski Boot to start but gets sent to the floor for a belly to belly suplex. Back in and Swagger pounds away before hitting a buckle bomb to stop Zack dead. The gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act end this at 2:40.
Post match Coulter goes on a rant about how this isn't his America anymore. He sees people that don't look like him that he can't understand anymore. Coultier wants to get rid of these people and oh dear goodness this ABSOLUTELY CANNOT END WELL. I'm a big political geek and this sounds like a Tea Party character. This cannot end well. Period.
Booker says Swagger is in the Chamber now. Ziggler comes up to whine about Jericho being in the Chamber and says that if he's in, Ziggler wants in. Booker makes Ziggler vs. Kane, winner gets the last spot in the Chamber.
We recap Lesnar beating up Miz last week.
The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
Cesaro is on commentary because the feud continues. Feeling out process to start with Rhodes taking over, hitting a running knee to the face for two. Off to an armbar for a bit but Miz comes back with a flapjack. We head to the floor where Cody is sent into the apron, but Miz has to stop and kick a charging Cesaro in the face. Cesaro gets up and posts Miz for the DQ at 3:03.
Post match Cesaro grabs Miz and hits a kind of giant swing, but each time Miz is rammed head first into the barricade. That was pretty awesome.
Wrestlemania Reading Challenge video.
Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Primo/Epico
Tensai and I think Epico start things off and the fat man takes over. House is quickly cleaned and it's the suplex from Brodue and the backsplash to Primo for the pin at 1:11.
Post match it's time to dance. Of and Rosa gets thrown to the floor and beaten up by the Funkadactyls.
Here's Shield to talk about how they're here to shield us from atrocities. They call out the three guys that challenged them earlier to a fight right now but there's no one coming. Rollins says Cena fails every day just by existing, and on Sunday he'll fail again. Ambrose talks about how Cena lives in his own little world with no idea what the real world is like.
Cena has set the standard for everyone in this generation and is the reason a lot of them are here today. They call out all three guys again and there go the lights. They come back up and it's Cena, Ryback and Sheamus in the ring to start the brawl. It heads into the crowd and the Shield runs.
We recap the Punk/Heyman segment from earlier.
Damien Sandow makes fun of Nashville's taste in music.
Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio
Sandow starts fast and hits a Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for no cover. Del Rio avoids a clothesline in the corner and fires off some clotheslines. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Sandow down and there's the low superkick for two. The Cross Armbreaker ends this at 1:16.
Del Rio praises Big Show's promo earlier (where he didn't say anything) because the time for talking is done. It won't be in a bus or a hotel room, because the only place Del Rio wants to go is Wrestlemania.
Barrett is on the way to the ring when Bo Dallas jumps him.
Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett is shaken up because of being attacked. Kofi takes over to start but Wade comes right back with some knees to the ribs and an elbow to the face for one. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Kofi hits a jawbreaker to escape. A kind of splash to the back of the bent over Barrett (for you indy fans, think Delirious' Shadows Over Hell) gets two as does a top rope cross body. Another springboard misses and the Winds of Change get two for Wade. The Bull Hammer and Trouble in Paradise miss but as Kofi goes to the floor, the Hammer hits for the pin at 3:02.
Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler
The winner gets to join Bryan, Swagger, Orton, Henry and Jericho in the Chamber. Kane slugs him down to start as Cole and Lawler talk about Valentine's Day. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and some stomping to the back before pounding away in the corner. Kane tosses Ziggler into the air to slow him down but Dolph bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam.
We take a break and come back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner. Ziggler gets up onto the corner, only to get knocked off via an uppercut. Langston stands over Ziggler as if to say bring it on Kane but Ziggy takes Kane down before the showdown. Back in and Ziggler fires off a bunch of elbow drops but his cross body is caught.
Ziggler escapes again and hits the jumping DDT for no cover. Off to the sleeper for a bit but Kane slams him down, only to get caught with the Fameasser. Kane comes back with the side slam and goes up, but AJ gets the distraction. She gets knocked into Langston which distracts Ziggler just enough for the chokeslam to put Kane in the Chamber at 10:20.
Video on how the Chamber works.
Here's Rock to end the show. He says that right now is Story Time with the Rock. In 1987, Rock and his family moved to Nashville, Tennessee. Rock signed up for high school as a 6'4, 220lbs fifteen year old. Unfortunately he couldn't get anything from the girls because they thought he was an undercover cop. Since he was so big, he hung out at a bar with his boy Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman's character).
One night at the bar someone showed up (No not Jeff Jarrett.) but it wasn't the person he was hoping it was: Willie Nelson. Instead it was a crackhead who had a car to sell. He wanted $75 so Rock gave him a $40 down payment. Yeah at 15 years old Rock was hustling a crackhead in a bar. He was out driving it when he found out that there was another crackhead in the back seat. Rock threw the crackhead out and then thought the car might be stolen. So he ditched the car at 2am in a Burger King parking lot and walked right back to Tootsie's Lounge, which I guess is a popular place in Nashville.
Two lessons from the story: if you're buying a car, don't buy it from a crackhead. Also, don't be like Rock at 15. Instead be like him at 25 when he had his first match at the Nashville Fairgrounds. Those matches got him started on the road to where he is today, which is where he'll be after Elimination Chamber: on top of the world as WWE Champion.
This brings out Punk but Rock says that he's ready to go right now. There goes the shirt but Punk stops before he gets to the ring. Scratch that as Punk charges in and Rock beats him into the corner. There's the spinebuster but Heyman breaks up the Elbow. The GTS takes out Rock and Punk walks off with the title. Punk says that if Rock brings it, Punk will take it. He poses with the belt to end the show.
Results
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Chris Jericho b. Daniel Bryan Codebreaker
Ryback/John Cena/Sheamus b. 3MB Attitude Adjustment to Slater
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder Patriot Act
Brodus Clay/Tensai b. Primo/Epico Backsplash to Primo
Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow Cross Armbreaker
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston Bull Hammer
Kane b. Dolph Ziggler Chokeslam
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.2, down from last week.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 13, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
Tonight we have the finals of the tag title tournament and more build for the NXT Title match between O'Brien and Langston. Other than that we're probably getting ready for the next challenger for Langston, which could be almost anyone. Something else I like about NXT: no triple threats for the most part. That's the only way I could see Langston losing though, so there's a chance they might start showing up. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the tournament thus far.
Opening sequence.
Mike Dalton vs. Axl Keagan
Before the match, Paige jumps ring announcer Summer Rae. Paige says the match isn't going anywhere until Rae comes back to face her. This brings out Dusty Rhodes to tell her to leave but Paige won't go. Paige finally leave\s but gets in a fight on the stage with Rae, possibly injuring her shoulder in the process. No match apparently.
Alex Riley vs. Corey Graves
The mat is black here for no apparent reason. On the other hand, the match is happening for a specific reason as Graves attacked Riley after a tag tournament match two weeks ago. Riley starts fast and sends Graves into the corner early on before slamming him down. Graves suckers him in though and fires off a kick to the knee to slow Riley down. Regal: Sometimes a boot to the face can work wonders.
Graves grabs a chinlock as we hear about Summer Rae vs. Paige coming up next. A back elbow gets two for Corey and it's off to another chinlock. Riley fights up and comes back with a quick suplex and a spinebuster for two. Not that any of it matters though as Graves takes him down with the 13th Step for the fast submission at 5:16. The announcers don't know the name of the hold even though they've said the name before.
Video on the Elimination Chamber.
Summer Rae vs. Paige
Paige has a bad shoulder coming in so Summer immediately kicks the shoulder for two. Off to a short arm scissors as Rae is at least showing some brains. Paige immediately fights up and throws Summer down, only to get her arm pulled on again. A BIG spin kick takes Paige down for the pin out of nowhere at 1:59. That's Paige's first loss I believe.
Sasha Banks gets another love note and will meet her secret admirer next week.
The O'Brian vs. Langston match is next week.
NXT Tag Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey
It's a tournament final so no one is defending. The Family is Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, but we get another Wyatt promo first. This one talks about how the ultimate underdogs are already in the ring and they get to face some monsters tonight. Harper and Grey get things going with Luke being sent to the floor almost immediately. A big dive takes Harper out and we take a break.
Back with Neville coming in to work on Erick's arm. The size difference is huge here as Rowan might be a full foot taller than Neville. Back to Grey to pound on the arm before it's back to Adrian. Bray is standing at ringside instead of in his rocker here. The monsters finally get in a shot to Grey's ribs as Lee comes in again. That advantage lasts all of a few seconds though as it's back to Neville who backflips over Luke before tagging Grey back in. That seemed rather pointless.
Rowan pounds on Oliver in the corner but the advantage again only lasts a few seconds with Grey cranking on the arm again. Back to Neville who fires off kicks to Rowan's leg and hooks a quickly broken sleeper. Bray actually gets involved by tripping up Grey, only to get ejected by Dusty. We take another break and come back with Grey in a chinlock at the hands of Harper. A slam puts Oliver down and it's off to a neck crank from Rowan. The cranking continues as the monsters change again.
Luke mixes things up by switching over to a front facelock before Rowan comes in for a bearhug. Grey finally fights out of the corner and avoids an elbow drop to make the tag to Neville. Things immediately speed up and a jumping DDT gets two on Harper. Neville loads up a springboard kick but jumps into a kick to the face from Harper.
Grey makes a diving save at two and things settle down a bit. Neville escapes a belly to back suplex but gets splashed in the corner. The monsters collide in the corner and Adrian kicks Harper in the face, setting up the corkscrew shooting star for the pin and the titles at 11:54 shown of 18:54.
Dusty comes out to present the champions with their titles.
Results
Corey Graves b. Alex Riley 13th Step
Summer Rae b. Paige Spinwheel Kick
Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Wyatt Family Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Harper
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: February 14, 2013
Location: Wembly Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
We're in London for the next two weeks and we're getting really close to Lockdown, which apparently won't be all cage matches. We do however need a main event so odds are things are going to be announced tonight. The crowds have been hot lately so hopefully they'll be able to keep that streak going tonight. Let's get to it.
After the LONG recap, here's Hogan to open the show. He announces a tournament of four matches tonight for the title shot against Hardy. The matches are Storm vs. RVD, Joe vs. Angle, Magnus vs. Daniels and Aries vs. Roode. Instead of brackets though, it's whoever the fans like best getting the shot. This brings him to Aces and 8's, who apparently want a war. Gee they've been terrorizing the place for 7 months so now you've finally figured that out Hulk? Anyway Sting is apparently the captain and he says that he'll be looking for teammates tonight.
Christopher Daniels vs. Magnus
The obvious crowd favorite takes over with a fast shoulder block but Daniels rams him into the corner to slow him down. A suplex keeps the pressure on Daniels but Kaz interferes, allowing Daniels to hit an STO to take Magnus down. Off to a neck crank by Daniels and the release Rock Bottom puts Magnus down. The BME attempt misses though and a big boot puts Daniels down. Kaz interferes and gets ejected, firing up the crowd. Back in and a clothesline puts Chris down and a falcon's arrow does the same. A top rope elbow is enough to end Daniels at 5:06.
Brooke tries to make Bully feel better about being hurt and not being in the title shot. They plan a date.
Magnus makes a plea to Hogan to get the title match.
Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle
Feeling out process to start but Joe pounds him into the corner. A snapmare sets up the chop to the back and a running knee drop for two. Angle comes back with a fast belly to belly overhead as we hear about the history between these two. Angle hits a back elbow to put both guys down again as we take a break. Back with Joe hitting the running elbow through the ropes to take over again. Back in and the backsplash gets two for the fat man, but Kurt rolls the Germans to take over.
Angle charges into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner but as Joe puts Kurt on the top rope, Angle hits a missile dropkick for two. Joe pops right back up though and puts on the Clutch, only to have Angle reverse into the ankle lock. That gets reversed too and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Not that it matters though as Aces and 8's come in for the no contest at 11:33.
Angle and Joe clear the ring post match.
Dixie talks to the British Boot Camp losers.
Blossom Twins/Party Marty vs. Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz
The guys start things off and Jesse takes over early. Marty kind of misses a moonsault out of the corner and we take a break. Back from the break and it's off to one of the Blossoms vs. Tara. A dropkick gets two for the rookie (apparently Hannah rather than Holly) but it's a double sideslam for two on the champ. Gail comes in to pull on let's say Holly's hair and the heels take over. Tara throws around I think Holly as get into a really long and dull beatdown segment on the Blossom.
Tara beats on her, Gail beats on her, Tara comes back in and the moonsault hits knees, allowing for the hot tag to Hannah. The Blossoms beat up the other girls and hit a nice double team splash onto Tara. Jesse comes in to be a bully but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Marty BADLY misses a dive to the floor, but I think it was more on Jesse than Marty. Hannah walks into Eat Defeat from Gail for the pin at approximately 11:00.
Gail wants the title so here's Brooke to make Velvet vs. Tara vs. Gail vs. Tessmacher next week for the title.
We recap Dixie saying the show is going on the word permanently.
We recap Jeff's knee injury. He'll be back in two weeks.
James Storm vs. Rob Van Dam
James starts with a fast kick to the head but RVD kicks him right back down and hits the Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same but Storm hits a fast DDT to take RVD down. A punch to Rob's face does little damage but an Alabama Slam out of the corner gets two for James. Closing Time hits but Van Dam blocks the Last Call with that stepover kick to the jaw. The Five Star is broken up but Van Dam kicks Storm into the other corner. There's the freaking Van Terminator but it only hits ropes, allowing Storm to knock him out cold with the Last Call for the pin at 5:38.
Joseph Park learns a lesson in politicking. Hogan says it's a rib, which Park has to find out the definition of.
Brooke badgers Hulk to give Bully the title shot.
We recap Austin Aries and Robert Roode's history together.
Robert Roode vs. Austin Aries
Before the match Roode says Hogan's attempts at wedging the tag champions apart won't work. They say ring the bell and an argument breaks out over who should lay down for the other. Aries tries to steal a pin and we take a break. Back with the champions slugging it out before Roode misses a charge into the corner. Aries comes back with a sunset flip for two and argues with the referee about the count.
We get another slugout with Aries hitting the discus forearm, only to walk into the spinebuster for two. Aries is placed on the top rope but fights out of a superplex attempt. They slug it out on top with Austin knocking him down to the mat, only to miss the 450. Roode's spear is countered into the Last Chancery but Roode rakes the eyes to escape. There's the Crossface from Bobby but Aries fight out as well.
The referee is bumped (duh) and Bobby grabs a chair. We get the Eddie Guerrero spot with Roode pretending to have been hit with the chair, but Aries tries the same thing. That's brilliant! Chavo and Hernandez come out for a distraction and as the champions go after them, we get a double countout at approximately 10:00.
Sting tells Hogan to choose wisely.
Here's Hogan to choose the winner, but Aces and 8's surround the ring. Cue a limping Bully Ray with a chain, and of course Aces and 8's won't fight an old man and a limping fat guy. Sting comes out with three ball bats for the real save. No announcement is made.
Results
Magnus b. Christopher Daniels Top Rope Elbow
Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle went to a no contest when Aces and 8's interfered
Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz b. Blossom Twins/Party Marty
James Storm b. Rob Van Dam Last Call
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a double countout
Smackdown got a 2.2, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
It's the last week before Elimination Chamber and the word on the street is that there's going to be another Elimination Chamber match announced, although in the form of a three on three WarGames style match. I'd be more than cool with this as the Chamber is the only way they're going to be able to use the idea in WWE due to the size of the extra ring taking up too much space. Rock is in the house too. Let's get to it.
Heyman opens the show and talks about all the sacrifices he's made over the years with a focus on ECW. Then he came to WWE (F at the time) and saw a rookie named Brock Lesnar. Heyman turned him into the Next Big Thing and saw a man that could carry WWE into the future and break Sammartino's record. Oh wait he means Punk should have broken the record.
Apparently something very bad is going to happen and the Sword of Damocles is hanging over Paul's head, but it's going to fall onto Punk's head. Therefore, tonight he's going to tender his resignation, because he isn't going to distract Punk from winning the title back. He's going to miss Punk but he'll be cheering for him.
Cue Punk with a concerned look on his face. Paul says that Vince believes that he was behind Shield, Lesnar and Maddox and even though he wasn't, it doesn't matter. Punk says both he and the people look up to him so he can't leave. Heyman says he told Punk when he started that in the land of the McMahons, perception is reality.
What happened at the Rumble is nothing compared to what's coming, so remember him as a friend and not a martyr. Punk says forget all this because on Sunday, everything will be back to normal. He'll win the title and Heyman will be in his corner. Paul says he'll be there on Sunday and they hug. Ok then.
Great Khali vs. Mark Henry
Apparently Mysterio was injured last week so he's out of the Chamber. He wasn't at the house show I was at last night so maybe there's something to that. We've currently got Bryan, Orton and Henry inside there. Henry pounds Khali into the corner to start but runs into an elbow and boot to slow him down. Henry shrugs it off and hits some clotheslines to put Khali down and the World's Strongest Slam ends this at 1:34.
Horny gets a slam as well post match.
Jericho wants in the Chamber but Booker says he has to beat Daniel Bryan first. Booker yells at Teddy a bit too, and we get a Jericho impression of Booker for fun.
Vickie is on the phone with someone when Heyman comes in. Paul wants a stipulation added to the title match Sunday but a phone call from Vince interrupts them. Heyman asks to talk to Vince so Vickie turns speaker on. Paul apologizes to Vince for what Lesnar did and knows that Vince will be back soon. Vince tells him to shut up and wants to know the stipulation Heyman had in mind. Paul suggests that if Rock gets counted out or DQ'ed that Punk gets the title back. Vince says put it in writing and it's a deal before hanging up. We get dial tone off an iPhone 5. Methinks this is fake.
Fandango is coming. I saw him last night and I don't want to see him again.
Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho
We start things off with a feeling out process as Cole talks about the history between these two on the first season of NXT. Jericho sends him to the apron but misses the springboard dropkick. Bryan hits the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with more back and forth action, such as Bryan hitting a clothesline but having a running dropkick into the corner countered into a Walls attempt.
The Lionsault hits knees though and Bryan goes up. Jericho breaks up whatever Daniel was going to try though and tries a superplex, only to be knocked off, giving us the FLYING GOAT HEADBUTT for two. Jericho tries for the Walls again but gets countered into a NO Lock. Jericho rolls through again and loads up the Walls, only for Bryan to roll through and kick him in the chest. A rollup gets two for Chris and after ducking another kick, Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:48.
3MB vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Ryback
Methinks this isn't going to last long. Slater vs. Ryback gets things going and there's Warrior gorilla press drop to start. Off to Sheamus vs. McIntyre with Sheamus pounding away quickly. A right hand to the face slows Sheamus down but he comes right back with the forearms to the chest. Off to Cena vs. Mahal and Cena gives a look as if to say let's get this over with. John easily knocks him down and hits the Shuffle before everything breaks down. We get stereo AA/Shell Shock and White Noise with Cena pinning Mahal at 2:50.
Regarding the six man, this was perfect. We got to see how awesome these three can be together, it was short, and it's not like 3MB loses anything here. I liked this a lot and the idea and execution were perfect.
Ryback says he's going to feast on Sunday. Sheamus says he doesn't believe in the Shield but he believes they can fight tonight instead. Cena says if they want some come get some.
We get a clip of Del Rio breaking Show's bus on Friday and pouring paint on him. Earlier today Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were laughing about it and Show massacred them.
Here's Big Show to the ring so he can knock out Matt Striker. Show picks up the mic and walks out. Ok then.
Sammartino HOF video.
Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger
Dutch Mantel of all people, known here as Zeb Coulter, is with Swagger here. Ryder hits a fast Broski Boot to start but gets sent to the floor for a belly to belly suplex. Back in and Swagger pounds away before hitting a buckle bomb to stop Zack dead. The gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act end this at 2:40.
Post match Coulter goes on a rant about how this isn't his America anymore. He sees people that don't look like him that he can't understand anymore. Coultier wants to get rid of these people and oh dear goodness this ABSOLUTELY CANNOT END WELL. I'm a big political geek and this sounds like a Tea Party character. This cannot end well. Period.
Booker says Swagger is in the Chamber now. Ziggler comes up to whine about Jericho being in the Chamber and says that if he's in, Ziggler wants in. Booker makes Ziggler vs. Kane, winner gets the last spot in the Chamber.
We recap Lesnar beating up Miz last week.
The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
Cesaro is on commentary because the feud continues. Feeling out process to start with Rhodes taking over, hitting a running knee to the face for two. Off to an armbar for a bit but Miz comes back with a flapjack. We head to the floor where Cody is sent into the apron, but Miz has to stop and kick a charging Cesaro in the face. Cesaro gets up and posts Miz for the DQ at 3:03.
Post match Cesaro grabs Miz and hits a kind of giant swing, but each time Miz is rammed head first into the barricade. That was pretty awesome.
Wrestlemania Reading Challenge video.
Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Primo/Epico
Tensai and I think Epico start things off and the fat man takes over. House is quickly cleaned and it's the suplex from Brodue and the backsplash to Primo for the pin at 1:11.
Post match it's time to dance. Of and Rosa gets thrown to the floor and beaten up by the Funkadactyls.
Here's Shield to talk about how they're here to shield us from atrocities. They call out the three guys that challenged them earlier to a fight right now but there's no one coming. Rollins says Cena fails every day just by existing, and on Sunday he'll fail again. Ambrose talks about how Cena lives in his own little world with no idea what the real world is like.
Cena has set the standard for everyone in this generation and is the reason a lot of them are here today. They call out all three guys again and there go the lights. They come back up and it's Cena, Ryback and Sheamus in the ring to start the brawl. It heads into the crowd and the Shield runs.
We recap the Punk/Heyman segment from earlier.
Damien Sandow makes fun of Nashville's taste in music.
Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio
Sandow starts fast and hits a Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for no cover. Del Rio avoids a clothesline in the corner and fires off some clotheslines. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Sandow down and there's the low superkick for two. The Cross Armbreaker ends this at 1:16.
Del Rio praises Big Show's promo earlier (where he didn't say anything) because the time for talking is done. It won't be in a bus or a hotel room, because the only place Del Rio wants to go is Wrestlemania.
Barrett is on the way to the ring when Bo Dallas jumps him.
Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett is shaken up because of being attacked. Kofi takes over to start but Wade comes right back with some knees to the ribs and an elbow to the face for one. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Kofi hits a jawbreaker to escape. A kind of splash to the back of the bent over Barrett (for you indy fans, think Delirious' Shadows Over Hell) gets two as does a top rope cross body. Another springboard misses and the Winds of Change get two for Wade. The Bull Hammer and Trouble in Paradise miss but as Kofi goes to the floor, the Hammer hits for the pin at 3:02.
Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler
The winner gets to join Bryan, Swagger, Orton, Henry and Jericho in the Chamber. Kane slugs him down to start as Cole and Lawler talk about Valentine's Day. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and some stomping to the back before pounding away in the corner. Kane tosses Ziggler into the air to slow him down but Dolph bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam.
We take a break and come back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner. Ziggler gets up onto the corner, only to get knocked off via an uppercut. Langston stands over Ziggler as if to say bring it on Kane but Ziggy takes Kane down before the showdown. Back in and Ziggler fires off a bunch of elbow drops but his cross body is caught.
Ziggler escapes again and hits the jumping DDT for no cover. Off to the sleeper for a bit but Kane slams him down, only to get caught with the Fameasser. Kane comes back with the side slam and goes up, but AJ gets the distraction. She gets knocked into Langston which distracts Ziggler just enough for the chokeslam to put Kane in the Chamber at 10:20.
Video on how the Chamber works.
Here's Rock to end the show. He says that right now is Story Time with the Rock. In 1987, Rock and his family moved to Nashville, Tennessee. Rock signed up for high school as a 6'4, 220lbs fifteen year old. Unfortunately he couldn't get anything from the girls because they thought he was an undercover cop. Since he was so big, he hung out at a bar with his boy Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman's character).
One night at the bar someone showed up (No not Jeff Jarrett.) but it wasn't the person he was hoping it was: Willie Nelson. Instead it was a crackhead who had a car to sell. He wanted $75 so Rock gave him a $40 down payment. Yeah at 15 years old Rock was hustling a crackhead in a bar. He was out driving it when he found out that there was another crackhead in the back seat. Rock threw the crackhead out and then thought the car might be stolen. So he ditched the car at 2am in a Burger King parking lot and walked right back to Tootsie's Lounge, which I guess is a popular place in Nashville.
Two lessons from the story: if you're buying a car, don't buy it from a crackhead. Also, don't be like Rock at 15. Instead be like him at 25 when he had his first match at the Nashville Fairgrounds. Those matches got him started on the road to where he is today, which is where he'll be after Elimination Chamber: on top of the world as WWE Champion.
This brings out Punk but Rock says that he's ready to go right now. There goes the shirt but Punk stops before he gets to the ring. Scratch that as Punk charges in and Rock beats him into the corner. There's the spinebuster but Heyman breaks up the Elbow. The GTS takes out Rock and Punk walks off with the title. Punk says that if Rock brings it, Punk will take it. He poses with the belt to end the show.
Results
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Chris Jericho b. Daniel Bryan Codebreaker
Ryback/John Cena/Sheamus b. 3MB Attitude Adjustment to Slater
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder Patriot Act
Brodus Clay/Tensai b. Primo/Epico Backsplash to Primo
Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow Cross Armbreaker
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston Bull Hammer
Kane b. Dolph Ziggler Chokeslam
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.2, down from last week.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 13, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
Tonight we have the finals of the tag title tournament and more build for the NXT Title match between O'Brien and Langston. Other than that we're probably getting ready for the next challenger for Langston, which could be almost anyone. Something else I like about NXT: no triple threats for the most part. That's the only way I could see Langston losing though, so there's a chance they might start showing up. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the tournament thus far.
Opening sequence.
Mike Dalton vs. Axl Keagan
Before the match, Paige jumps ring announcer Summer Rae. Paige says the match isn't going anywhere until Rae comes back to face her. This brings out Dusty Rhodes to tell her to leave but Paige won't go. Paige finally leave\s but gets in a fight on the stage with Rae, possibly injuring her shoulder in the process. No match apparently.
Alex Riley vs. Corey Graves
The mat is black here for no apparent reason. On the other hand, the match is happening for a specific reason as Graves attacked Riley after a tag tournament match two weeks ago. Riley starts fast and sends Graves into the corner early on before slamming him down. Graves suckers him in though and fires off a kick to the knee to slow Riley down. Regal: Sometimes a boot to the face can work wonders.
Graves grabs a chinlock as we hear about Summer Rae vs. Paige coming up next. A back elbow gets two for Corey and it's off to another chinlock. Riley fights up and comes back with a quick suplex and a spinebuster for two. Not that any of it matters though as Graves takes him down with the 13th Step for the fast submission at 5:16. The announcers don't know the name of the hold even though they've said the name before.
Video on the Elimination Chamber.
Summer Rae vs. Paige
Paige has a bad shoulder coming in so Summer immediately kicks the shoulder for two. Off to a short arm scissors as Rae is at least showing some brains. Paige immediately fights up and throws Summer down, only to get her arm pulled on again. A BIG spin kick takes Paige down for the pin out of nowhere at 1:59. That's Paige's first loss I believe.
Sasha Banks gets another love note and will meet her secret admirer next week.
The O'Brian vs. Langston match is next week.
NXT Tag Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey
It's a tournament final so no one is defending. The Family is Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, but we get another Wyatt promo first. This one talks about how the ultimate underdogs are already in the ring and they get to face some monsters tonight. Harper and Grey get things going with Luke being sent to the floor almost immediately. A big dive takes Harper out and we take a break.
Back with Neville coming in to work on Erick's arm. The size difference is huge here as Rowan might be a full foot taller than Neville. Back to Grey to pound on the arm before it's back to Adrian. Bray is standing at ringside instead of in his rocker here. The monsters finally get in a shot to Grey's ribs as Lee comes in again. That advantage lasts all of a few seconds though as it's back to Neville who backflips over Luke before tagging Grey back in. That seemed rather pointless.
Rowan pounds on Oliver in the corner but the advantage again only lasts a few seconds with Grey cranking on the arm again. Back to Neville who fires off kicks to Rowan's leg and hooks a quickly broken sleeper. Bray actually gets involved by tripping up Grey, only to get ejected by Dusty. We take another break and come back with Grey in a chinlock at the hands of Harper. A slam puts Oliver down and it's off to a neck crank from Rowan. The cranking continues as the monsters change again.
Luke mixes things up by switching over to a front facelock before Rowan comes in for a bearhug. Grey finally fights out of the corner and avoids an elbow drop to make the tag to Neville. Things immediately speed up and a jumping DDT gets two on Harper. Neville loads up a springboard kick but jumps into a kick to the face from Harper.
Grey makes a diving save at two and things settle down a bit. Neville escapes a belly to back suplex but gets splashed in the corner. The monsters collide in the corner and Adrian kicks Harper in the face, setting up the corkscrew shooting star for the pin and the titles at 11:54 shown of 18:54.
Dusty comes out to present the champions with their titles.
Results
Corey Graves b. Alex Riley 13th Step
Summer Rae b. Paige Spinwheel Kick
Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Wyatt Family Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Harper
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: February 14, 2013
Location: Wembly Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
We're in London for the next two weeks and we're getting really close to Lockdown, which apparently won't be all cage matches. We do however need a main event so odds are things are going to be announced tonight. The crowds have been hot lately so hopefully they'll be able to keep that streak going tonight. Let's get to it.
After the LONG recap, here's Hogan to open the show. He announces a tournament of four matches tonight for the title shot against Hardy. The matches are Storm vs. RVD, Joe vs. Angle, Magnus vs. Daniels and Aries vs. Roode. Instead of brackets though, it's whoever the fans like best getting the shot. This brings him to Aces and 8's, who apparently want a war. Gee they've been terrorizing the place for 7 months so now you've finally figured that out Hulk? Anyway Sting is apparently the captain and he says that he'll be looking for teammates tonight.
Christopher Daniels vs. Magnus
The obvious crowd favorite takes over with a fast shoulder block but Daniels rams him into the corner to slow him down. A suplex keeps the pressure on Daniels but Kaz interferes, allowing Daniels to hit an STO to take Magnus down. Off to a neck crank by Daniels and the release Rock Bottom puts Magnus down. The BME attempt misses though and a big boot puts Daniels down. Kaz interferes and gets ejected, firing up the crowd. Back in and a clothesline puts Chris down and a falcon's arrow does the same. A top rope elbow is enough to end Daniels at 5:06.
Brooke tries to make Bully feel better about being hurt and not being in the title shot. They plan a date.
Magnus makes a plea to Hogan to get the title match.
Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle
Feeling out process to start but Joe pounds him into the corner. A snapmare sets up the chop to the back and a running knee drop for two. Angle comes back with a fast belly to belly overhead as we hear about the history between these two. Angle hits a back elbow to put both guys down again as we take a break. Back with Joe hitting the running elbow through the ropes to take over again. Back in and the backsplash gets two for the fat man, but Kurt rolls the Germans to take over.
Angle charges into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner but as Joe puts Kurt on the top rope, Angle hits a missile dropkick for two. Joe pops right back up though and puts on the Clutch, only to have Angle reverse into the ankle lock. That gets reversed too and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Not that it matters though as Aces and 8's come in for the no contest at 11:33.
Angle and Joe clear the ring post match.
Dixie talks to the British Boot Camp losers.
Blossom Twins/Party Marty vs. Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz
The guys start things off and Jesse takes over early. Marty kind of misses a moonsault out of the corner and we take a break. Back from the break and it's off to one of the Blossoms vs. Tara. A dropkick gets two for the rookie (apparently Hannah rather than Holly) but it's a double sideslam for two on the champ. Gail comes in to pull on let's say Holly's hair and the heels take over. Tara throws around I think Holly as get into a really long and dull beatdown segment on the Blossom.
Tara beats on her, Gail beats on her, Tara comes back in and the moonsault hits knees, allowing for the hot tag to Hannah. The Blossoms beat up the other girls and hit a nice double team splash onto Tara. Jesse comes in to be a bully but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Marty BADLY misses a dive to the floor, but I think it was more on Jesse than Marty. Hannah walks into Eat Defeat from Gail for the pin at approximately 11:00.
Gail wants the title so here's Brooke to make Velvet vs. Tara vs. Gail vs. Tessmacher next week for the title.
We recap Dixie saying the show is going on the word permanently.
We recap Jeff's knee injury. He'll be back in two weeks.
James Storm vs. Rob Van Dam
James starts with a fast kick to the head but RVD kicks him right back down and hits the Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same but Storm hits a fast DDT to take RVD down. A punch to Rob's face does little damage but an Alabama Slam out of the corner gets two for James. Closing Time hits but Van Dam blocks the Last Call with that stepover kick to the jaw. The Five Star is broken up but Van Dam kicks Storm into the other corner. There's the freaking Van Terminator but it only hits ropes, allowing Storm to knock him out cold with the Last Call for the pin at 5:38.
Joseph Park learns a lesson in politicking. Hogan says it's a rib, which Park has to find out the definition of.
Brooke badgers Hulk to give Bully the title shot.
We recap Austin Aries and Robert Roode's history together.
Robert Roode vs. Austin Aries
Before the match Roode says Hogan's attempts at wedging the tag champions apart won't work. They say ring the bell and an argument breaks out over who should lay down for the other. Aries tries to steal a pin and we take a break. Back with the champions slugging it out before Roode misses a charge into the corner. Aries comes back with a sunset flip for two and argues with the referee about the count.
We get another slugout with Aries hitting the discus forearm, only to walk into the spinebuster for two. Aries is placed on the top rope but fights out of a superplex attempt. They slug it out on top with Austin knocking him down to the mat, only to miss the 450. Roode's spear is countered into the Last Chancery but Roode rakes the eyes to escape. There's the Crossface from Bobby but Aries fight out as well.
The referee is bumped (duh) and Bobby grabs a chair. We get the Eddie Guerrero spot with Roode pretending to have been hit with the chair, but Aries tries the same thing. That's brilliant! Chavo and Hernandez come out for a distraction and as the champions go after them, we get a double countout at approximately 10:00.
Sting tells Hogan to choose wisely.
Here's Hogan to choose the winner, but Aces and 8's surround the ring. Cue a limping Bully Ray with a chain, and of course Aces and 8's won't fight an old man and a limping fat guy. Sting comes out with three ball bats for the real save. No announcement is made.
Results
Magnus b. Christopher Daniels Top Rope Elbow
Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle went to a no contest when Aces and 8's interfered
Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz b. Blossom Twins/Party Marty
James Storm b. Rob Van Dam Last Call
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a double countout