klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.98, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's Slammy night which usually means we're in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It's also the go home show for TLC, meaning we're going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let's get to it.
The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.
Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.
We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.
Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango
Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.
Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.
Post match we've got Bray on the screen. He doesn't like Bryan's unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn't want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he's going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan's pain away, if he'll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.
Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.
The nominees are:
Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out
Titus O'Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL's hat
The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal's and Great Khali's snake charm flutes
Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero
Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.
Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.
Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella
Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You're Welcome ends this at 2:30.
Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.
Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn't look pleased. The nominees are:
Mark Henry faking retirement
Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell
Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB
HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam
The winner is again after a break.
Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it's ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he's still here. Shawn didn't come off like a heel here but he wasn't the nicest guy in the world.
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
This is another match we don't need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz's head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.
Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.
Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:
The Bella Twins
Funkadactyls
Kaitlyn
Natalya
Eva Marie
AJ Lee
After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.
Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it's off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it's back to Goldust.
Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it's back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time....except for Sunday but at least it's something new.
Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there's the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.
How to download the WWE App The Sequel!
Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:
Brock Lesnar
CM Punk
Big Show
Daniel Bryan
Randy Orton
John Cena
An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.
Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.
Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio
Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he's a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.
A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.
Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.
The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:
Fandango-ing
YES! YES! YES!
Let's Go Cena/Cena Sucks
What's Up!
Daniel Bryan wins which isn't a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!
Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods
Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.
Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.
Here's Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:
AJ Lee - I didn't get here because I SUCKED....up to the right people. (Total Divas promo)
Zeb Colter Almost anything he said
Paul Heyman Insulting CM Punk
Stephanie McMahon Insulting Big Show before firing him
Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.
CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose
Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk's back around the ropes.
Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.
Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.
Punk's top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.
Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk's bad ribs.
We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.
Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:
Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England
Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match
CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell
Wyatt Family crushing Kane's head at Summerslam
Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it's weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.
Usos vs. Wyatt Family
Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey's head off for the pin at 8:28.
Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:
CM Punk vs Undertaker Wrestlemania 29
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield Battleground
HHH vs. Brock Lesnar Extreme Rules
The Rock vs. John Cena Wrestlemania 29
Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it's mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.
Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka
Since this show hasn't gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.
There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan's hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he's still on commentary).
The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley's career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn't have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.
Cena asks Bryan where he's from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he's had to work for everything he's achieved in WWE. Orton hasn't had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he's bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.
The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let's fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they
very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.
Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: YES! YES! YES!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Fandango Running knee
Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella You're Welcome
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston Rollup
Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel Top rope splash to Axel
Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio Swanton Bomb
Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods Middle rope splash
CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose GTS
Wyatt Family b. Usos Discus lariat to Jey
Natalya b. Tamina Snuka Sharpshooter
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.8, up from last week.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 11, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, William Regal, Alex Riley
Last week's show saw the main event angle continue as Adrian Neville beat Bo Dallas by countout. I could see this setting up a big time triple threat if Sami's feud with Leo Kruger doesn't last all that long. Other than that we're likely to find out who Emma's mystery partner is in her battle against the BFF's. Let's get to it.
Welcome Home.
Tag Titles: Hunico/Camacho vs. Ascension
Hunico and Camacho are challenging. Viktor and Camacho get things going and Rick rips Camacho's shirt off to chop the skin off his chest. Camacho rolls through a backdrop into a rollup before avoiding a Viktor elbow drop to pound the champion down. Off to Hunico for a dropkick in the corner and a quickly broken chinlock but Viktor comes back with a knee to the face for two.
Back from a break with Konnor holding Hunico in a headlock on the mat. Regal brings up the point that every tag team to have faced Ascension have broken up, possibly because they know there's no chance of taking the titles. Viktor comes in for a backbreaker before tagging out to Konnor for some hard stomping in the corner. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Viktor hits another backbreaker and puts on a chinlock of his own.
Hunico fights up and grabs a rollup but lifts Viktor up into a powerbomb instead of covering. The double tag brings in Camacho to run over Konnor and get a two count off a legdrop. Konnor clotheslines him down as Viktor pulls Hunico off the apron, injuring Hunico's knee in the process. The Fall of Man to Camacho is enough to retain the titles at 8:40 shown of 12:10.
Alexander Rusev vs. Kassius Ohno
Lana introduces Rusev who looks more and more awesome every time he's out there. This is a result of Ohno beating Rusev's time in the Beat the Clock Challenge a few weeks back. Rusev takes him into the corner to start and drops Ohno with a single right hand. He lifts Kassius up for a slam before driving knees into his ribs in midair.
Ohno gets slammed down for two and Alexander stays on the back and ribs. We hit the bearhug for a bit before another forearm to the back puts Ohno down. Ohno gets a forearm to the face to set up a small package for two. That's the extent of his offense as Rusev runs him over and the Accolade ends Ohno at 3:05.
Rusev won't let go of the hold until Lana talks him out of it.
Natalya runs into a nervous Bayley. Apparently Natalya is going to be in Bayley's corner which means it's hug time.
We look back at Cesaro attacking Byron Saxton last week. Regal says if Cesaro has a problem with him, don't take it out on anyone else.
Natalya/Bayley vs. BFF's
Sasha and Bayley get things going with no Charlotte in sight. Bayley takes her down and slams Sasha's face into the mat before it's off to Natalya for a double suplex. Summer comes in and is immediately taken down with a drop toehold before it's back to Bayley. Rae dives back to the corner for a tag to Sasha who is taken down just as quickly.
The BFF's finally double team Bayley to take over with Summer choking her in the corner. Sasha slams her down for two but Bayley counters an Irish whip, allowing for the hot (?) tag to Natalya. A discus lariat to Banks looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Sasha makes the save. Back to Bayley who knocks Summer off the apron but walks into a double arm trap neckbreaker from Sasha (Bankrupt) for the pin at 3:30.
Summer can't help from talking trash as she leaves like a good stuck up heel should.
Leo Kruger says he's on a task to become a Real American and it means he has to hurt Sami Zayn to do it.
Scott Dawson vs. Mojo Rawley
This is Dawson's return after an injury. Rawley takes him into the corner to start but gets punched backwards with ease. Dawson puts on a quick chinlock before driving elbows into Rawley's head. Back up and Dawson misses a charge into the corner, setting up a Mojo splash in the corner and an Earthquake for the pin at 2:50. Mojo needs to be squashing people instead of getting beaten up until the last 45 seconds of a match.
Post match Dawson lays out Rawley. Again, this should not happen.
Next week is the 200th episode, featuring an open challenge from Ascension and Dallas defending against Neville in a lumberjack match. HHH will be here too, which means a big announcement.
Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn
Sami charges at Kruger but can't hang in a fist fight. Kruger catches him in a wicked spinebuster for two and Zayn bails to the floor, only to get more of a beating on the outside. Leo throws Sami into the barricade and slams him down onto the concrete as this is one sided so far. Back in for a cravate from Kruger before Sami comes back with a dropkick. They head outside again with Sami hitting some HARD chops. They head back inside with Zayn getting two off a high cross body but Leo crotches him down to break up the tornado DDT. The Slice ends Sami at 4:11.
Sami clotheslines him to the floor and hits a big flip dive to extend the feud.
Results
Ascension b. Hunico/Camacho Fall of Man to Camacho
Alexander Rusev b. Kassius Ohno Accolade
BFF's b. Bayley/Natalya Bankrupt to Bayley
Mojo Rawley b. Scott Dawson Earthquake
Leo Kruger b. Sami Zayn Slice
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 12, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
The tournament is finally down to two entrants with Magnus and Jeff Hardy left to square off for the title. Thankfully they're giving us a week off from the matches to get ready for the title match instead of just blasting through it tonight. We do however have Feast or Fired tonight, with a shot at all the male titles and a pink slip up for grabs. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Dixie trying to get the title back last week.
Rockstar Spud is driving near Gainsville, Georgia as he tries find AJ's house.
In the arena, JB is standing next to four briefcases and the Wheel of Dixie. Inside the four cases are a World Title shot, an X-Division Title shot, a Tag Team Title shot and a pink slip. We'll get to those later though as we need to find out the stipulations for the tournament final. Before we can talk about gimmick match #2 though, here's Angle to clear the ring and call out Bobby Roode to end this once and for all.
Roode comes out and says he'll fight but not right now. He was eliminated from the tournament by falling through a table. Angle was eliminated because ever since he passed on the Hall of Fame, Roode has beaten him. Kurt says he could beat Roode twice in one night and the fight is on again. Security comes out to break it up and Roode gets in a low blow. Next week is Final Resolution and Bobby wants a 2/3 falls match.
We look back at Bad Influence vs. Joseph Park, focusing on Bad Influence finding out that the Park Park and Park law offices closed years ago.
Eric Young has a plan for the match and asks Park to trust him.
Joseph Park/Eric Young vs. Bad Influence
Young takes Daniels down to start before bringing in a hesitant Park. Off to Kaz vs. Eric with Young raining down right hands in the corner. Back to Park as the fast tags continue and Tenay plugs every internet feature the company can think of. A knee to Park's gut puts him down and Bad Influence takes turns pounding on him. Par fights back but gets nervous again, so Eric gives him a few hard right hands to the face, busting him open. Abyss mode ensues and Kaz is Black Hole Slammed for the pin at 5:45.
Post match Eric tells Park that he's Abyss, which apparently no one suggested to him in 18 months.
Ethan Carter III is getting massaged before he has a Hall of Fame moment tonight. It's going to make social media explode.
Here's Carter for his match but he makes sure to tell Brian Hebner that he has nothing to worry about. Tonight Carter is going to face TNA's social media guru: Jeremy Borash. JB makes a hilarious terrified face like he just saw TNA's PPV numbers but Sting of all people interrupts Carter.
Sting asks if he can shake Carter's hands because Carter is a skyrocket. Carter is shooting for the stars but he hasn't accomplished anything at all. Sting isn't cool with this because Carter is just riding his family and last name through doors that never should have been opened for him. There's a big match coming up tonight called Feast or Fired and Carter can either enter or fight Sting right now. Carter gets in Sting's face and says it's on, meaning he'll enter Feast or Fired.
Spud is still looking for AJ's house but finds a gas station attendant who says Styles hangs out at a bar down the road.
Gail Kim vs. ODB
This is supposed to be the open challenge but Gail says she's beaten ODB too many times already. ODB says she's here to fight Tapa though and the brawl is on. Gail gets involved though and ODB gets double teamed down until Madison Rayne (looking great with long reddish brown hair) returns to make the save.
Spud finds the bar and imitates a redneck to get some service. He calls AJ Alan Jones (his real name) and is told he'll get information for a drink. Spud puts down a dollar bill and asks for some mixed drink, getting a beer with a lemon instead.
Post match Spud sings karaoke and is thrown out.
Video outlining Feast or Fired.
James Storm and Gunner apologize to each other and say good luck in the match tonight.
Spud keeps looking and walks off into the dark with a flashlight.
Here's Dixie Carter to oversee the face to face meeting between Hardy and Magnus. Earlier tonight Angle destroyed the Wheel of Dixie but she'll give him the 2/3 falls match anyway. That brings her to AJ Styles, who is still making a mockery of her world title. Next week though she gets a new world champion and brings out the competitors. Hardy talks about winning the Bound For Glory Series last year and promises to win the title again next week.
Magnus says he sees Hardy as the best today and the final obstacle. Dixie says the final match will be called Dixieland and we get a video explaining the concept. The match starts in a cage and you have to climb over the top and go up the ramp and climb a ladder to pull down the belt. I'm sure this isn't going to be overbooked at all. Dixie promises to make the winner the face of TNA and let them become the most important person in the company.
Velvet says she has Sabin's back tonight in his title match, even though Sabin seems oblivious to her.
Spud breaks into presumably AJ's house and finds the belt in a bag on the coffee table. AJ comes down the stairs and is incredibly calm considering someone broke into his home. Apparently people had called him and told him to expect a British guy, hence why the door was open. AJ says we can either call the cops or call some of his buddies. Spud leaves the belt and runs away as AJ slams the door.
Anderson says he had fun at the funeral but now it's time to get the world title back.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries
Sabin is defending. Aries sends him into the corner to start and takes a victory lap, including a look at Sky. The distraction lets Aries slide back in for a baseball slide to take out Sabin, only to have the champion send him face first into the apron. A gutbuster gets three straight near falls for Sabin and he drapes Aries ribs first across the top rope for the same.
Aries comes right back by draping Sabin's ribs across the top and pounding away at Chris' head. A forearm puts Sabin on the floor but Aries throws him back in for a missile dropkick. Sabin stops a charging Aries with a boot to the face but Austin Japanese armdrags the champion into the corner. Chris rolls him up for two but the kickout nearly sends Sabin into Velvet. The distraction lets Aries hit the brainbuster for the pin and the title at 6:08.
Post break Sabin gets in Aries' face but Aries says he'll enter Feast or Fired and then steal Velvet.
Magnus talks about winning the world title but gets a phone call.
Preview for next week's Final Resolution with Angle vs. Roode and Jeff vs. Magnus.
Feast or Fired
Mr. Anderson, Curry Man, Samoa Joe, Dewey Barnes, Norv Fernum, Chris Sabin, Chavo Guerrero, Hernandez, Zema Ion, James Storm, Gunner, Austin Aries, Ethan Carter III
Anderson comes out to do his entrance but Bully Ray jumps him from behind and piledrives Anderson on the stage. Ray talks about evil standing strong over good in what sounds like a quote from a rather epic speech. He says Anderson's wife is pregnant with twins but Ray will be responsible for their future.
As for the match, there's a briefcase at each corner of the ring and whoever gets the case gets whatever is inside. That could be a shot at the World, Tag Team or X-Division Titles or a pink slip. The bell rings and Curry Man immediately walks out and Sabin bails to the floor. Fernum and Barnes both miss dives but Aries dives on everyone to take them out. Ion dropkicks Aries through the ropes and SuperMex launches himself over the top rope to take everyone out. Gunner backdrops storm onto them as Norm and Dewey hit dives of their own. Joe hits the suicide elbow to take the jobbers out and the ring is empty.
Carter gets back in the ring and gets case #3 as we take a break. Back with Joe destroying everyone in sight until Barnes and Fernum throw him to the floor. They both go up top but Ion shoves them to the floor, allowing him to grab case #2. Most of the people get back inside and it's Aries diving onto Storm and Hernandez. A discus lariat staggers Hernandez and Aries hits some running dropkicks in the corner. He sends Barnes and Fernum into each other before going up top for a 450 onto both guys.
Austin goes for a case but Sabin makes a save, only to be sent into the steps. Joe, Chavo and Hernandez get back inside with Chavo being launched into the corner where he grabs case #4. Gunner and Storm get back inside but have to deal with Hernandez. Dewey and Norv come back in to try a superplex on Hernandez but Gunner powerbombs him down to make it a Tower of Doom. Storm Last Calls Joe to the floor but Gunner crotches him and takes the case to end the match at 14:11.
Dixie is sitting at a dinner table when Jeff Hardy comes in. He accepts a glass of wine as the show ends.
Results
Joseph Park/Eric Young b. Bad Influence Black Hole Slam to Kazarian
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin Brainbuster
Ethan Carter III, Zema Ion, Chavo Guerrero and Gunner won Feast or Fired
Smackdown got a 1.98, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's Slammy night which usually means we're in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It's also the go home show for TLC, meaning we're going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let's get to it.
The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.
Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.
We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.
Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango
Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.
Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.
Post match we've got Bray on the screen. He doesn't like Bryan's unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn't want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he's going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan's pain away, if he'll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.
Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.
The nominees are:
Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out
Titus O'Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL's hat
The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal's and Great Khali's snake charm flutes
Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero
Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.
Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.
Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella
Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You're Welcome ends this at 2:30.
Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.
Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn't look pleased. The nominees are:
Mark Henry faking retirement
Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell
Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB
HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam
The winner is again after a break.
Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it's ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he's still here. Shawn didn't come off like a heel here but he wasn't the nicest guy in the world.
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
This is another match we don't need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz's head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.
Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.
Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:
The Bella Twins
Funkadactyls
Kaitlyn
Natalya
Eva Marie
AJ Lee
After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.
Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it's off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it's back to Goldust.
Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it's back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time....except for Sunday but at least it's something new.
Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there's the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.
How to download the WWE App The Sequel!
Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:
Brock Lesnar
CM Punk
Big Show
Daniel Bryan
Randy Orton
John Cena
An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.
Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.
Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio
Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he's a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.
A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.
Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.
The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:
Fandango-ing
YES! YES! YES!
Let's Go Cena/Cena Sucks
What's Up!
Daniel Bryan wins which isn't a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!
Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods
Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.
Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.
Here's Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:
AJ Lee - I didn't get here because I SUCKED....up to the right people. (Total Divas promo)
Zeb Colter Almost anything he said
Paul Heyman Insulting CM Punk
Stephanie McMahon Insulting Big Show before firing him
Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.
CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose
Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk's back around the ropes.
Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.
Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.
Punk's top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.
Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk's bad ribs.
We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.
Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:
Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England
Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match
CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell
Wyatt Family crushing Kane's head at Summerslam
Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it's weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.
Usos vs. Wyatt Family
Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey's head off for the pin at 8:28.
Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:
CM Punk vs Undertaker Wrestlemania 29
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield Battleground
HHH vs. Brock Lesnar Extreme Rules
The Rock vs. John Cena Wrestlemania 29
Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it's mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.
Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka
Since this show hasn't gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.
There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan's hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he's still on commentary).
The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley's career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn't have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.
Cena asks Bryan where he's from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he's had to work for everything he's achieved in WWE. Orton hasn't had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he's bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.
The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let's fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they
very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.
Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: YES! YES! YES!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Fandango Running knee
Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella You're Welcome
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston Rollup
Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel Top rope splash to Axel
Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio Swanton Bomb
Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods Middle rope splash
CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose GTS
Wyatt Family b. Usos Discus lariat to Jey
Natalya b. Tamina Snuka Sharpshooter
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.8, up from last week.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 11, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, William Regal, Alex Riley
Last week's show saw the main event angle continue as Adrian Neville beat Bo Dallas by countout. I could see this setting up a big time triple threat if Sami's feud with Leo Kruger doesn't last all that long. Other than that we're likely to find out who Emma's mystery partner is in her battle against the BFF's. Let's get to it.
Welcome Home.
Tag Titles: Hunico/Camacho vs. Ascension
Hunico and Camacho are challenging. Viktor and Camacho get things going and Rick rips Camacho's shirt off to chop the skin off his chest. Camacho rolls through a backdrop into a rollup before avoiding a Viktor elbow drop to pound the champion down. Off to Hunico for a dropkick in the corner and a quickly broken chinlock but Viktor comes back with a knee to the face for two.
Back from a break with Konnor holding Hunico in a headlock on the mat. Regal brings up the point that every tag team to have faced Ascension have broken up, possibly because they know there's no chance of taking the titles. Viktor comes in for a backbreaker before tagging out to Konnor for some hard stomping in the corner. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Viktor hits another backbreaker and puts on a chinlock of his own.
Hunico fights up and grabs a rollup but lifts Viktor up into a powerbomb instead of covering. The double tag brings in Camacho to run over Konnor and get a two count off a legdrop. Konnor clotheslines him down as Viktor pulls Hunico off the apron, injuring Hunico's knee in the process. The Fall of Man to Camacho is enough to retain the titles at 8:40 shown of 12:10.
Alexander Rusev vs. Kassius Ohno
Lana introduces Rusev who looks more and more awesome every time he's out there. This is a result of Ohno beating Rusev's time in the Beat the Clock Challenge a few weeks back. Rusev takes him into the corner to start and drops Ohno with a single right hand. He lifts Kassius up for a slam before driving knees into his ribs in midair.
Ohno gets slammed down for two and Alexander stays on the back and ribs. We hit the bearhug for a bit before another forearm to the back puts Ohno down. Ohno gets a forearm to the face to set up a small package for two. That's the extent of his offense as Rusev runs him over and the Accolade ends Ohno at 3:05.
Rusev won't let go of the hold until Lana talks him out of it.
Natalya runs into a nervous Bayley. Apparently Natalya is going to be in Bayley's corner which means it's hug time.
We look back at Cesaro attacking Byron Saxton last week. Regal says if Cesaro has a problem with him, don't take it out on anyone else.
Natalya/Bayley vs. BFF's
Sasha and Bayley get things going with no Charlotte in sight. Bayley takes her down and slams Sasha's face into the mat before it's off to Natalya for a double suplex. Summer comes in and is immediately taken down with a drop toehold before it's back to Bayley. Rae dives back to the corner for a tag to Sasha who is taken down just as quickly.
The BFF's finally double team Bayley to take over with Summer choking her in the corner. Sasha slams her down for two but Bayley counters an Irish whip, allowing for the hot (?) tag to Natalya. A discus lariat to Banks looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Sasha makes the save. Back to Bayley who knocks Summer off the apron but walks into a double arm trap neckbreaker from Sasha (Bankrupt) for the pin at 3:30.
Summer can't help from talking trash as she leaves like a good stuck up heel should.
Leo Kruger says he's on a task to become a Real American and it means he has to hurt Sami Zayn to do it.
Scott Dawson vs. Mojo Rawley
This is Dawson's return after an injury. Rawley takes him into the corner to start but gets punched backwards with ease. Dawson puts on a quick chinlock before driving elbows into Rawley's head. Back up and Dawson misses a charge into the corner, setting up a Mojo splash in the corner and an Earthquake for the pin at 2:50. Mojo needs to be squashing people instead of getting beaten up until the last 45 seconds of a match.
Post match Dawson lays out Rawley. Again, this should not happen.
Next week is the 200th episode, featuring an open challenge from Ascension and Dallas defending against Neville in a lumberjack match. HHH will be here too, which means a big announcement.
Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn
Sami charges at Kruger but can't hang in a fist fight. Kruger catches him in a wicked spinebuster for two and Zayn bails to the floor, only to get more of a beating on the outside. Leo throws Sami into the barricade and slams him down onto the concrete as this is one sided so far. Back in for a cravate from Kruger before Sami comes back with a dropkick. They head outside again with Sami hitting some HARD chops. They head back inside with Zayn getting two off a high cross body but Leo crotches him down to break up the tornado DDT. The Slice ends Sami at 4:11.
Sami clotheslines him to the floor and hits a big flip dive to extend the feud.
Results
Ascension b. Hunico/Camacho Fall of Man to Camacho
Alexander Rusev b. Kassius Ohno Accolade
BFF's b. Bayley/Natalya Bankrupt to Bayley
Mojo Rawley b. Scott Dawson Earthquake
Leo Kruger b. Sami Zayn Slice
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 12, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
The tournament is finally down to two entrants with Magnus and Jeff Hardy left to square off for the title. Thankfully they're giving us a week off from the matches to get ready for the title match instead of just blasting through it tonight. We do however have Feast or Fired tonight, with a shot at all the male titles and a pink slip up for grabs. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Dixie trying to get the title back last week.
Rockstar Spud is driving near Gainsville, Georgia as he tries find AJ's house.
In the arena, JB is standing next to four briefcases and the Wheel of Dixie. Inside the four cases are a World Title shot, an X-Division Title shot, a Tag Team Title shot and a pink slip. We'll get to those later though as we need to find out the stipulations for the tournament final. Before we can talk about gimmick match #2 though, here's Angle to clear the ring and call out Bobby Roode to end this once and for all.
Roode comes out and says he'll fight but not right now. He was eliminated from the tournament by falling through a table. Angle was eliminated because ever since he passed on the Hall of Fame, Roode has beaten him. Kurt says he could beat Roode twice in one night and the fight is on again. Security comes out to break it up and Roode gets in a low blow. Next week is Final Resolution and Bobby wants a 2/3 falls match.
We look back at Bad Influence vs. Joseph Park, focusing on Bad Influence finding out that the Park Park and Park law offices closed years ago.
Eric Young has a plan for the match and asks Park to trust him.
Joseph Park/Eric Young vs. Bad Influence
Young takes Daniels down to start before bringing in a hesitant Park. Off to Kaz vs. Eric with Young raining down right hands in the corner. Back to Park as the fast tags continue and Tenay plugs every internet feature the company can think of. A knee to Park's gut puts him down and Bad Influence takes turns pounding on him. Par fights back but gets nervous again, so Eric gives him a few hard right hands to the face, busting him open. Abyss mode ensues and Kaz is Black Hole Slammed for the pin at 5:45.
Post match Eric tells Park that he's Abyss, which apparently no one suggested to him in 18 months.
Ethan Carter III is getting massaged before he has a Hall of Fame moment tonight. It's going to make social media explode.
Here's Carter for his match but he makes sure to tell Brian Hebner that he has nothing to worry about. Tonight Carter is going to face TNA's social media guru: Jeremy Borash. JB makes a hilarious terrified face like he just saw TNA's PPV numbers but Sting of all people interrupts Carter.
Sting asks if he can shake Carter's hands because Carter is a skyrocket. Carter is shooting for the stars but he hasn't accomplished anything at all. Sting isn't cool with this because Carter is just riding his family and last name through doors that never should have been opened for him. There's a big match coming up tonight called Feast or Fired and Carter can either enter or fight Sting right now. Carter gets in Sting's face and says it's on, meaning he'll enter Feast or Fired.
Spud is still looking for AJ's house but finds a gas station attendant who says Styles hangs out at a bar down the road.
Gail Kim vs. ODB
This is supposed to be the open challenge but Gail says she's beaten ODB too many times already. ODB says she's here to fight Tapa though and the brawl is on. Gail gets involved though and ODB gets double teamed down until Madison Rayne (looking great with long reddish brown hair) returns to make the save.
Spud finds the bar and imitates a redneck to get some service. He calls AJ Alan Jones (his real name) and is told he'll get information for a drink. Spud puts down a dollar bill and asks for some mixed drink, getting a beer with a lemon instead.
Post match Spud sings karaoke and is thrown out.
Video outlining Feast or Fired.
James Storm and Gunner apologize to each other and say good luck in the match tonight.
Spud keeps looking and walks off into the dark with a flashlight.
Here's Dixie Carter to oversee the face to face meeting between Hardy and Magnus. Earlier tonight Angle destroyed the Wheel of Dixie but she'll give him the 2/3 falls match anyway. That brings her to AJ Styles, who is still making a mockery of her world title. Next week though she gets a new world champion and brings out the competitors. Hardy talks about winning the Bound For Glory Series last year and promises to win the title again next week.
Magnus says he sees Hardy as the best today and the final obstacle. Dixie says the final match will be called Dixieland and we get a video explaining the concept. The match starts in a cage and you have to climb over the top and go up the ramp and climb a ladder to pull down the belt. I'm sure this isn't going to be overbooked at all. Dixie promises to make the winner the face of TNA and let them become the most important person in the company.
Velvet says she has Sabin's back tonight in his title match, even though Sabin seems oblivious to her.
Spud breaks into presumably AJ's house and finds the belt in a bag on the coffee table. AJ comes down the stairs and is incredibly calm considering someone broke into his home. Apparently people had called him and told him to expect a British guy, hence why the door was open. AJ says we can either call the cops or call some of his buddies. Spud leaves the belt and runs away as AJ slams the door.
Anderson says he had fun at the funeral but now it's time to get the world title back.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries
Sabin is defending. Aries sends him into the corner to start and takes a victory lap, including a look at Sky. The distraction lets Aries slide back in for a baseball slide to take out Sabin, only to have the champion send him face first into the apron. A gutbuster gets three straight near falls for Sabin and he drapes Aries ribs first across the top rope for the same.
Aries comes right back by draping Sabin's ribs across the top and pounding away at Chris' head. A forearm puts Sabin on the floor but Aries throws him back in for a missile dropkick. Sabin stops a charging Aries with a boot to the face but Austin Japanese armdrags the champion into the corner. Chris rolls him up for two but the kickout nearly sends Sabin into Velvet. The distraction lets Aries hit the brainbuster for the pin and the title at 6:08.
Post break Sabin gets in Aries' face but Aries says he'll enter Feast or Fired and then steal Velvet.
Magnus talks about winning the world title but gets a phone call.
Preview for next week's Final Resolution with Angle vs. Roode and Jeff vs. Magnus.
Feast or Fired
Mr. Anderson, Curry Man, Samoa Joe, Dewey Barnes, Norv Fernum, Chris Sabin, Chavo Guerrero, Hernandez, Zema Ion, James Storm, Gunner, Austin Aries, Ethan Carter III
Anderson comes out to do his entrance but Bully Ray jumps him from behind and piledrives Anderson on the stage. Ray talks about evil standing strong over good in what sounds like a quote from a rather epic speech. He says Anderson's wife is pregnant with twins but Ray will be responsible for their future.
As for the match, there's a briefcase at each corner of the ring and whoever gets the case gets whatever is inside. That could be a shot at the World, Tag Team or X-Division Titles or a pink slip. The bell rings and Curry Man immediately walks out and Sabin bails to the floor. Fernum and Barnes both miss dives but Aries dives on everyone to take them out. Ion dropkicks Aries through the ropes and SuperMex launches himself over the top rope to take everyone out. Gunner backdrops storm onto them as Norm and Dewey hit dives of their own. Joe hits the suicide elbow to take the jobbers out and the ring is empty.
Carter gets back in the ring and gets case #3 as we take a break. Back with Joe destroying everyone in sight until Barnes and Fernum throw him to the floor. They both go up top but Ion shoves them to the floor, allowing him to grab case #2. Most of the people get back inside and it's Aries diving onto Storm and Hernandez. A discus lariat staggers Hernandez and Aries hits some running dropkicks in the corner. He sends Barnes and Fernum into each other before going up top for a 450 onto both guys.
Austin goes for a case but Sabin makes a save, only to be sent into the steps. Joe, Chavo and Hernandez get back inside with Chavo being launched into the corner where he grabs case #4. Gunner and Storm get back inside but have to deal with Hernandez. Dewey and Norv come back in to try a superplex on Hernandez but Gunner powerbombs him down to make it a Tower of Doom. Storm Last Calls Joe to the floor but Gunner crotches him and takes the case to end the match at 14:11.
Dixie is sitting at a dinner table when Jeff Hardy comes in. He accepts a glass of wine as the show ends.
Results
Joseph Park/Eric Young b. Bad Influence Black Hole Slam to Kazarian
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin Brainbuster
Ethan Carter III, Zema Ion, Chavo Guerrero and Gunner won Feast or Fired