klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 31, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
It's the final show of the year, unless you count the other shows that were taped after this. For the second week in a row, we've got a show that probably shouldn't happen but is anyway because WWE believes people want to sit around on New Year's Eve and watch their pretty lame shows. We're getting close to Rumble time but the first show of next year has the Rock and a title match so odds are we'll hear about next week more than the PPV. Let's get to it.
Here's MizTV to open the show. Apparently tonight is a Championship Special, meaning all titles (minus the WWE Title I'm assuming) are on the line and the champions get to pick their opponents. Miz's guest is Cena who tells us all happy holidays. Miz talks about Cena being on the show before when the AJ saga was going full scale. Tonight, Cena is going to be a guest at Ziggler and AJ's champagne toast.
This brings out the Rhodes Scholars for no apparent reason with Damien quoting T. S. Elliot. Cena quotes RG3 (Redskins' quarterback) and says the Scholars suck. Cena looks at Cody's mustache and Sandow makes fun of the two of them going from main eventing Wrestlemania to being in the Scholars' shadows. Cena wants a tag match RIGHT NOW and apparently he's getting one. Cole: “Did you ever think you would see Miz and Cena on the same team?” You mean the former WWE Tag Team Champions Cole?
Rhodes Scholars vs. John Cena/The Miz
Cena and Cody start things off but a fast tag to Miz lets him come in with a top rope ax handle. Off to Sandow who is knocked to the floor almost immediately and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting a suplex on Sandow and hooking a chinlock. Off to Miz who fights out of the heel corner during a discussion of his mustache. Ten punches in the corner and a big left hand get two for Miz but Cody pounds him into the other corner to take over.
Damien hits the Wind-Up Elbow before it's back to Cody for more chinlockery. Sandow comes back in and gets small packaged for two but he blocks the tag to Cena. Cody hooks a quick armbar before it's back to Sandow for a knee drop. The match keeps going as Cody comes back in again for more really basic offense. Miz blocks a bulldog though and there's the hot tag. It's Sandow that gets to take the finishing sequence but Cody takes Cena down with the Disaster Kick. Cody walks into the Finale and Cena hits the AA on Sandow for the pin at 12:04.
There's a New Year's Party going on in the back of course. Ziggler runs into Vickie and gets a match with Sheamus as a result. I guess they're done.
January 14 is the 20th anniversary show so they can hopefully have a good rating.
The Prime Time Players dance in the back when Heyman and Punk come up to Vickie. Punk has brought his doctor to prove that his injury is indeed real. Vickie says that's ok and asks Punk who he would have defended against tonight. Punk says Ryback of course, which leads to Ryback vs. the Shield in a handicap match after Punk whines about disrespect.
Here's Cesaro to run down America. This brings out the only man you call when there's someone anti-American and Jim Duggan is busy.
US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Slaughter slaps him in the back to start but is promptly caught in a chinlock. A quick Cobra Clutch is countered by Antonio grabbing the rope and the Neutralizer ends this in 1:47. Were you expecting anything else?
Antonio hits another Neutralizer and there's no Khali to make the save for some reason.
HELL NO is in the back pacing back and forth. They wanted to face the Shield tonight but now there's no one to fight. All hail the great new tag division! Anyway they hear strange noises from behind a sliding door, and find 3MB singing. We've got opponents.
At the party Big Show asks Ricardo if he wants a title match tonight and apparently Show has picked him. Ricardo spills a drink on Show's boot so Show scares Rodriguez a bit more.
Elsewhere, Kaitlyn brings Mae Young tot he party. Eve comes up and makes fun of her and picks Mae to face for the title shot. Oh joy.
Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. 3MB
It's Slater/McIntyre here. We get a Nexus reunion to start with Daniel vs. Heath. Slater gets in a quick shot but walks into a surfboard and Kane. Didn't Slater lose to Kane on the first season of NXT? Off to McIntyre as Cole talks about Auld Lang Syne. Back to Bryan who gets caught on the mat and stomped a bit before being low bridged to the floor. Mahal hits a running knee to the head and Bryan is in trouble.
Slater hooks a chinlock as Lawler makes band jokes. Bryan and Slater hit stereo cross bodies as Cole remembers there's a tag title match going on. Hot tag brings in Kane for some slams and a leg drop (brother!). The side slam gets two on McIntyre and there's the top rope clothesline. Slater is thrown to the floor and the chokeslam/Swan Dive retains the titles at 6:06.
We recap the opening tag match.
Here are Punk, Heyman, and Punk's doctor with something to say. Heyman talks about how Punk has been champion for 407 days which is rather impressive. Punk talks about everyone he's beaten over the course of the last year and names them off as usual. Apparently people are questioning how real his knee is, with some even calling if felonious. Punk's doctor, looking no more than about 24, with x-rays of what a good knee looks like compared to Punk's knee. The doctor says that Punk can't compete next week.
Cue Vince who has a different opinion I'm guessing. He suggests that Punk is trying to weasel his way out of the defense against Ryback and says next week that WWE physicians will look at Punk's knee before next week. Vince thinks there's something up between Punk and/or Maddox and the Shield. Punk is offended and denies an association with the four guys listed again. If Punk doesn't go next week, Heyman takes his place.
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
Sweet Christmas how many times do we have to watch these two fight? Sheamus pounds him down to start and drops an elbow for two. Lawler makes jokes about AJ's romantic issues over the year. Remember, this is JERRY LAWLER talking about someone's relationship issues. Langston breaks up the ten forearms in the ropes and we take a break.
Back with Ziggler holding a quickly broken chinlock followed by the jumping DDT for two. The jumping elbow gets the same and Ziggler pounds away. We hit the chinlock again for a bit until Sheamus fights out. A powerslam puts Ziggler down and there's a middle rope fallaway slam for a delayed two.
Sheamus goes up but gets crotched almost immediately, only to shove Ziggler down twice and hit the top rope shoulder for two. Dolph escapes the Cloverleaf but can't escape White Noise for no cover. Langston breaks up the Brogue Kick but Shemaus sends Ziggler to the floor to escape the Zig Zag. Sheamus and Langston stare each other down and here's the Shield for the DQ at 12:46.
The Shield beats Sheamus down and hits the Triple Bomb on him.
Barrett comes up to Kofi in the back to set up their title match later tonight.
Brad Maddox asks Punk and Heyman for another shot. Heyman throws Maddox out. GO PAULIE GO!
Mae Young has a stomach ache and has to be examined. The doctor declares her pregnant. Mae: “Not again!”
Eve comes out to brag about how she would have defended against Mae tonight, and wants to be declared winner by forfeit. Oh wait she needs a photographer first. Instead she gets Kaitlyn. You know, BECAUSE THIS HASN'T HAPPENED ENOUGH YET. Kaitlyn charges the ring and beats Eve down and I don't think there's going to be a match. Ignore the referee in the ring I guess. Eve gets her belt and bails.
Alberto says he should get the shot instead of Ricardo. Rodriguez says he'll win the title in Del Rio's honor. Alberto apologizes for treating Ricardo badly over the years and says he'll be there for Ricardo tonight. He also gives Rodriguez his scarf to make him look like a champion. Ricardo gets to drive Alberto's car to the ring tonight too. See, THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people sympathize with Alberto more, unlike Miz who is the same guy he was before the turn. SHOW US how they're different and we'll buy it.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Ricardo Rodriguez
Ricardo is in his tuxedo here. He goes for a leg to start and then the pain begins. Show hits a big chop in the corner and shouts in a Spanish accent. He talks trash to Alberto, allowing Ricardo to get a boot up in the corner followed by a running enziguri in the corner. Show's boot out of the corner is countered into a kind of Stunner onto the knee, but Ricardo jumps into a big chop out of the corner. Show loads up the WMD when Alberto runs in for the DQ at 2:27.
Alberto kicks Big Show down and leaves, before doing THE WINK. I missed that thing.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Kofi is defending and fires off some kicks to start. As soon as the bell rang, the place went silent. Kofi does his leapfrogs into the back elbow into a dropkick for two. He rolls out of a top wristlock and tries Trouble in Paradise but Wade bails away. A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and we take our second break in less than five minutes. Back with Barrett in control via a boot to the face that is ONLY available from the WWE App. I know this because it was shown on Raw as Cole told us it was only available on the WWE App.
Barrett gets two off the pumphandle slam and fires away knees to the face. The boot in the ropes misses and Kofi kicks Wade to the floor. A springboard dive takes Barrett down and they head back in for Kofi to kind of botch a counter to the Boss Man Slam into a sunset flip for two. SOS gets two followed by Kofi's punches in the corner being countered into a powerbomb for two on Kofi. The kick misses again and I think we have something cut out before the Wasteland gets two. Barrett runs Kofi over and kicks him in the head, but Kofi misses the springboard cross body. The Bull Hammer gives Barrett the title at 12:28.
In the back, Mae is ready for delivery.
For some reason we recap last week's Santa stuff. Nice job of enforcing that face push for Del Rio.
Santino and Zack show up to the party as Mae is about to deliver. HELL NO comes in and argue over whether or not this shouuld happen. Santino can see the baby coming. It's Hornswoggle, complete with a hat, a banner saying Happy New Year, and a cigar. I have....nothing. My jaw is hanging open, I have no idea what I just saw, I don't want to ever think about this again.
And now, here's the Shield!
Ryback vs. The Shield
The brawl starts in the aisle before the bell and the beatdown begins until Sheamus runs down for the save. He gets beaten down as well until Randy Orton returns to make the real save. Good thing it wasn't a long term injury. Methinks this is a six man for the Rumble. The non-Shield guys clear the ring. No match here.
It's 10:45 and it's time for the closing segment. Ziggler and AJ are in white and Langston is in his gear. Dolph complains about Cena winning Superstar of the Year and then Cena vs. Rock got Match of the Year, which Cena lost. Then the next night Lesnar returned and laid Cena out. Then Cena Lost to Johnny Ace. Then Cena lost his cash-in attempt. Then Ziggler beat Cena at TLC thanks to AJ.
Ziggler talks about how Cena is the same guy he was ten years ago (no he isn't) and how it's now Ziggler's time. Cena is officially uninvited to the toast, so Langston is tasked with keeping Cena out of the ring. Ziggler and AJ kiss and here's Cena. He says Ziggler is right and if you judge the year by how it goes out, 2012 was the year of Dolph and AJ.
Cena rips on AJ's romance issues and we get the always “funny” fake photos of AJ and Ziggler shopping for wedding clothes and baby pictures. It's a set of pictures of AJ's children with various wrestlers' faces superimposed, including Mr. Fuji, Eve, Matilda the Bulldog and Hillbilly Jim. Cena talks about how he's been here ten years and had one bad year. Ziggler on the other hand has been here and has been a caddy then a cheerleader and now he carries around a briefcase. Cena enters the Rumble and promises to be champion next year.
John goes off on a rant about Ziggler and AJ wearing white and says that even though his uniform has never changed over the years (yeah it has), his message and resolve never have. Cena offers a toast to them to end the year.....and brown stuff that apparently smells bad falls from the ceiling onto Ziggler and AJ to end the show. Let's see: superimposed images, Mae Young and human waste. It's the WWE comedy triple pack!
Results
John Cena/The Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – AA to Sandow
Antonio Cesaro b. Sgt. Slaughter – Neutralizer
HELL NO b. 3MB – Swan Dive to McIntyre
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when the Shield interfered
Big Show b. Ricardo Rodriguez via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
Impact got a 1.0.
Smackdown got a 1.9.
NXT
Date: January 2, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
We're back to a regular show this week after last week's pretty awesome year in review show. The main change is that the Shield has now been acknowledged in NXT, which is kind of strange as Ambrose never appeared on this show that I remember. Anyway, it's nice to see things caught up even a little bit as we've now hit Survivor Series. Skipping a week or so wouldn't really be that big of a deal would it? Let's get to it.
Before anything else has time to happen, the Shield is beating down some guys who we didn't even get to see. The bell was ringing as Coheed and Cambria were wrapping up the theme song. Dusty pops up on stage and says that's enough. Ambrose says that's just a small taste of what they're capable of. It's all in the name of justice and righting wrongs. Rollins says they're taking over NXT just like they did with Raw and Smackdown. Dusty says that Rollins is defending the title against Corey Graves tonight. Rollins says ok but be careful what you wish for. Reigns says this is their house and Dusty is paying rent.
Bo Dallas vs. Epico
The fans want the absent Rosa and I can't say I blame them. Dallas runs him over to start and grabs a headlock, only to nearly fall to the floor as Epico sends him into the ropes. A knee to Dallas' ribs takes him down and a slingshot hilo gets two. Epico hooks a body scissors followed by a backbreaker with Dallas being bent over the knee. A dropkick from Epico sends Dallas into the most overblown fall this side of a Curt Hennig match and gets two. He spun in about a circle and a half from a standard dropkick. Dallas shrugs off right hands and starts to smile. A belly to belly suplex to Epico sets up the spear for the pin at 5:06.
Post match the cousins circle Dallas until McGillicutty makes the save, likely setting up a tag match.
Sasha Banks vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina pounds her down as Regal talks about how she's a second generation athlete. The interesting part: he DOESN'T say whose daughter she is! After an abdominal stretch from Tamina, Sasha makes a comeback with chops and a monkey flip followed by a victory roll for one. Dawson reminds us who Tamina's papa is as she hits a Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:49. Total squash.
Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel
For some reason I never put it together that Gabriel and Kruger are both from South Africa. The non-South Africans start things off and trade a few go behinds until it's off to Gabriel so things can speed up. Ohno hits a knee/kick to the face and brings in Kruger to face the almost immediately tagged Kidd. International Airstrike (were they ever officially called that?) hit some MCMG style double team moves to torment Kruger, with most of the moves being based around kicks to the face.
We get a breather as Kidd hooks a quick armbar but changes over to a Sharpshooter attempt instead. Kruger heads to the floor along with Ohno and it's time to unleash the dives. Kidd takes out Kruger after Gabriel dives on Ohno and we take a break. Back with IA hitting stereo kicks to Kruger's chest/back for two for Tyson. An Ohno distraction lets Kruger hit a spinebuster on Kidd to take over.
Ohno comes in with a standing backsplash for two and it's off to a modified cravate to crank on Kidd's neck a bit. Back to Leo for a snap suplex for two followed by some elbows. Kassius shouts that Leo is an animal. So should he want to hunt himself? Kruger drops knees on Tyson's ribs and hooks a quick chinlock before Ohno comes back in. Kidd dives to the corner and makes the hot tag, allowing Gabriel to speed things WAY up. After diving on Ohno, a blue thunder bomb gets two on Kruger. Everything breaks down as the South Africans trade rollups. Leo hits the Kruger End for the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.
NXT Title: Seth Rollins vs. Corey Graves
Something tells me Graves isn't really the favorite here. They slug it out to start with Graves taking over, getting two each off a small package and backslide. He goes for the leg lock but Seth makes a rope. Meaning it can only be regular leg work for now. Rollins gets an elbow up to slow things down and a running knee to the chest gets two. Off to a headscissors hold by the champion followed by a forearm to the face to keep Graves down. Rollins starts getting fired up but Graves takes the knee out and puts on the 13th Step....and here's the Shield for the DQ at 4:43.
Dusty sends some jobbers out to try to stop the Shield but they have no luck. We get up to about eight guys in there and they still can't get Shield out of there. Bo Dallas gets stuck in there alone and takes the Triple Bomb. Now in a good wrestling company, this is where the top face of the company would come to the ring for a BIG showdown. Thankfully NXT is a good wrestling company so here's Big E. Langston and the place goes nuts. Despite being up 3-1, the Shield bails. Dusty makes Langston vs. Rollins next week for the title.
Results
Bo Dallas b. Epico – Spear
Tamina Snuka b. Sasha Banks – Superfly Splash
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Kruger End
Corey Graves b. Seth Rollins via Dqq when the Shield interfered
Thursday
Raw got a 2.3, up from the previous week's 2.2. This was the New Year's Eve show.
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Kenely, Tazz
We open the new year with the return (yes another one) of Sting. Rather than let us be surprised by who wins, TNA has decided to throw the name out there ahead of time. The other issue is that Anderson may or may not be joining Aces and 8's. That would help their star power but somehow make them more boring at the same time. Let's get to it.
The opening recap kills some time.
We open with the Superstar of the Year presentation. The nominees are Ray, Storm, Aries, Roode and of course Hardy. To the shock of no one other than Aries or Roode, Hardy wins. Roode and Aries were arguing to the ring when the announcement was made and the two of them being shocked was funny stuff. Hardy says that this award means just as much as being champion, which draws Roode into the ring to yell.
When Roode was champion, NOTHING was more important to him than the title. He made history and set records when he was champion but here's Aries to argue that HE should be the winner because he averaged over four stars per PPV match. Hardy calms things down and says he'll defend against both of them at Genesis, which I think is the first match announced. Aries jumps him but gets in an argument with Roode over who gets to beat Hardy up. Aries tries to hit Jeff with the trophy but blasts Roode instead, bending the gold part on top. Hardy takes out Aries and leaves.
Storm is disappointed but Bad Influence comes in and makes fun of a country song to show how sad Storm is in a hilarious bit. Storm says he'll be back and he'll kick Daniels in his Twitter and knock Kaz's Facebook off. Kaz: “You forgot MySpace!”
Kazarian vs. James Storm
Daniels faked Storm out to start and Kaz got in a cheap shot to really start. That's some nice chicanery there. Storm pounds away in the ring before we head to the floor where Daniels can cheat yet again. Back in and Storm comes back with Closing Time (Codebreaker) for no cover, instead opting for a Russian Leg Sweep and a top rope elbow for two. For the third time a Daniels distraction lets Kaz take over, this time with a TKO for two. Storm hits another Codebreaker out of nowhere and after taking out Daniels, hits the Last Call to a jumping Kaz for the pin at 4:05.
Anderson is told to make a decision by Aces and 8's and after some prodding from Doc, he finally agrees. However, D-Von's bat is missing.
Kenny King talks to Kid Kash about some mini tournament for the shot at RVD.
Quick highlight package on Sting and Aces and 8's.
Here's Doc to say that Sting needs to get out here so he can cripple Sting once and for all. A ball bat falls from the ceiling and Doc FREAKS, shouting that he isn't afraid and demanding that Sting get out here as we take a break.
Brooke has no comment on her dad.
X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament: Kid Kash vs. Christian York
Kash jumps him to start and takes it to thef loor very quickly, only to get caught by a dropkick and a kick to the head from the apron. Kash pounds away a bit but York comes back with a botched handspring into a kick for two. A running low downward spiral gets two for Christian and he counters a backslide into the Mood Swing (Eve's swinging neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:43.
Hernandez and Chavo aren't scared of Morgan and Ryan.
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan has a bad arm so Joey is subbing for him. Ok then.
Joey Ryan vs. Hernandez
Hernandez pounds away to start and Morgan's arm appears to be fine. He comes in and hits a discus lariat on Hernandez for the DQ at 1:00.
Chavo gets taken down as well post match. Was there a point to this segment?
Angle thanks Brisco and Bischoff for having his back. Tonight it's a cage match so they can hang back here. Joe yells at them for no apparent reason but Angle smooths things over.
We see the Knockouts stretching.
We recap Aries/Ray/the Hogans for the millionth time.
Here's Hulk to apologize for being gone last week. He saw his daughter and Ray making out in the parking lot and he needed a breather. Hulk asks Brooke and Ray to come out here right now so here they are side by side and nearly arm in arm. Hulk wants an explanation right now and Ray says it was all on him. Papa Hogan GOES OFF on Ray, saying that he knew all along that Ray was a bad man. Apparently Ray broke some kind of code and he gets thrown out of the ring, just like Brooke. Ray is suspended as well. Is there a point to this coming ANYTIME soon?
Post break we recap what we just saw.
Back to OVW for more Joseph Park matches. He's been watching a lot of tape and Danny Davis is starting to get the appeal of him. I think Park graduates.
Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher
Tess is in all blue tonight which is a nice change of pace. She and Gail start but it's quickly off to Tara. I do enjoy the camera closeups we get of the Knockouts unlike the Divas. Mickie comes in off a blind tag to clear the ring as Jesse consoles Tara. Back in for Tara vs. Mickie as we take a break. Back with Tessmacher getting the hot tag and cleaning house. Tara gets knocked to the floor where Jesse wipes her face, allowing Kim to deck Tessmacher from behind. Back to Kim legally for an over the shoulder back/rib breaker for two.
Gail misses a charge in the corner and falls to the floor but she still manages to block the hot tag. Tara comes in with the slingshot somersault legdrop for two and it's off to a quick bow and arrow hold. Tessmacher slams Tara face first into the mat and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker on Kim gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher dives on Jesse and Tara on the floor. Gail misses the same charge in the corner again and Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin at 13:04.
Aces and 8's say they have to stay masked.
ODB is glad Sting is back and says Young will be back soon.
We recap the announcement of the triple threat match at Genesis.
Hulk makes it a three way elimination in a segment that doesn't need to exist. Next week it's the two of them against Hardy and whoever Hardy can get.
Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. D-Von/Masked Man
In a cage for absolutely no apparent reason. Doc slams the door on Angle as he gets in the ring, making it a handicap match to start. Joe beats on both guys in the ring as Doc keeps beating up Angle on the outside. D-Von charges into his partner in the corner so Joe can divide and conquer a bit. The numbers finally catch up to Joe and his comeback attempt is quickly stopped. Thankfully there's no tagging in this. I can't stand the idea of law and order in a cage match.
D-Von kicks the door into Angle's head again as the beating continues. We take a break and come back with Joe still fighting both guys off on his own. To be fair it's not like (presumably) Mike Knox and D-Von would be a huge challenge for a guy like Joe. Angle fights off Doc and gets the key to unlock the cage. Kurt cleans house but can't get the mask off due to Doc making ANOTHER save. Angle is busted open now but he avoids D-Von's headbutt. It's time to roll some Germans on both bikers and the Angle Slam pins the masked man at 11:43.
Post match more bikers run in to beat down Angle and Joe as Anderson watches from the floor. Sting comes in with the bat to clean house with little fanfare. Aces and 8's bail, but the masked man from the match is left alone. He gets triple teamed and the mask is pulled off to reveal Mike Knox, shocking ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Gee, just what Aces and 8's needs: ANOTHER FREAKING CAREER NOTHING. Tenay says Sting just took the power away from Aces and 8's. Mike, go watch some CMLL or something. It'll do you a lot of good.
Results
James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call
Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing
Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered
Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man
Friday
Impact got a 1.1, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: January 4, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
Welcome to the day of the year where more stuff happens in wrestling than any other. Whether it be the NJPW supershow or the Fingerpoke of Doom or Foley winning the title or Hogan debuting on Impact or Bret and Shawn burying the hatchet, something ALWAYS happens on January 4. Odds are not much of note will happen tonight, but things in the WWE will pick up big on Monday when Rock returns. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Orton returning to fight the Shield tonight as Alberto attacking Big Show after Ricardo got beaten up.
Here's Orton to open the show. He says that his new year's resolution is to become World Champion again. For some reason Smackdown isn't his show anymore, so he's entering the Royal Rumble. This brings out Sheamus who enters the Rumble as well. He's also here to thank Orton for his help with the Shield on Raw. Orton says that was for himself and now Sheamus and starts talking about the Rumble again. Sheamus says he knows a bit about the Rumble since he won it last year. They say they'll eliminate each other, so here's Big Show with something of his own to say.
The champ says all the winner of the Rumble gets is a shot at his fist, which is what Sheamus has gotten every single time they've fought. If Orton wants a shot, that's fine with him so come take a shot. Cue Cesaro who makes fun of these bragging Americans. Sheamus says he's from Ireland but Cesaro doesn't really care. Orton says how about this lazy American comes and RKOs Cesaro. Booker, tag match set, end opening segment.
Kingston gets his rematch tonight.
The Miz vs. Heath Slater
Did Drew always have that cowboy hat? JBL: “Here comes the air guitar playing version of the Spirit Squad.” So which one is Dolph Ziggler? Apparently this is because of 3MB being on MizTV the week before the Slammys. Feeling out process to start with Miz cranking on Slater's arm. A dropkick of all things puts Heath down and Miz works on a headlock. That stays on for a good while, suggesting this is going to be a long match.
Miz makes fun of the air guitar playing and pokes Slater in the eye. I would say it worked for Roddy Piper but Miz hasn't acted like Piper in years. Think back to the time he was champion: he ran his mouth a lot, he wasn't the best technical guy in the world, no one could seem to beat him no matter what, he had a lackey who was better in the ring than he was, and he somehow kept getting by the top guy in the company. Sound like any famous kilt wearing wrestlers?
Miz hiptosses Slater down but McIntyre trips him up to change momentum. Miz has to fight off the other 3MB guys, drawing an ejection for them and a quick rollup for two on Slater. We take a break and come back with Slater pounding away in the corner. Miz fights back so Slater bails again, only to get clotheslined down again. JBL talks about how important it was for Miz to team with Cena on Raw. Remember kids: title reigns from two years ago aren't as important as a one off tag match that opens up a New Year's Eve episode of Raw that no one watched.
Back inside, Miz misses a charge and his shoulder goes into the post, giving Slater something to focus on. After escaping a quick arm hold, Miz grabs a sunset flip for two before having his head kicked off for the same result for Slater. The sequence works so well that we do the exact same thing but with a clothesline instead of a kick by Slater. Miz comes back with a knee to the ribs and a kick to the face for two, only to have Slater send him into the buckle to stop the comeback.
Slater wraps Miz's arm around the post as JBL goes back and forth between praising Slater's abilities and blasting his non-existent singing abilities. Miz suplexes out of a headlock and both guys are down. Slater goes back to the arm so Miz uses the good elbow to take over again. A neckbreaker gets two for Heath but Miz shrugs it off and hits his signature stuff, finishing Slater with the Skull Crushing Finale at 12:22 shown of 15:22.
We recap Kofi losing the title on Monday.
Barrett doesn't want to talk about losing to Kofi in a gauntlet match on Main Event.
Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya vs. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes
This is an excuse to show the Mae Young stuff from Raw again. You know, because THAT is something to be proud of. The girls start things off with Natalya taking over with ease. Rosa tags in Epico, who gets to fight Khali. Epico turns around, sees Khali, and tags out to Primo. Khali hits a big chop and it's off to Horny for some comedy offense. He hits a Stunner on Epico but Primo finally takes him down with a shot to the head. JBL: “Doesn't PETA have rules against that?” Horny finally tags Khali, house is cleaned, and the big chop pins Epico at 4:03.
Kofi says this isn't about momentum because it's likely his last chance at the title. I highly doubt that.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Feeling out process to start with Kofi using his speed to escape the power brawling Barrett. Off to an armbar by the challenger which doesn't last that long. Wade bails to the floor but Kofi follows him out and sends him into the steps to take over again. Back in and a springboard forearm to the head gets two. The champ sends him into the corner and things slow down again. It's rather interesting how the fans seemed to be WAY more interested in Miz vs. Slater than they are here for a title match. I'm sure the fans not moving during the Miz match isn't noteworthy at all.
We hit the chinlock which doesn't last long as Kofi tries some fast rollups for two each. Barrett gets backdropped to the floor, followed by a dive from Kofi to take him out. Barrett seems fine to chill on the floor for a countout while claiming an injury but Kofi will have none of that. Wad\e hides in the ropes again as we take a break. Back with Wade knocking Kingston down with something we didn't see for no cover.
Back to the chinlock before Barrett shifts his attack to the ribs, firing off some kicks and dropping a middle rope elbow for two. Kofi gets placed in the ropes and kicked to the floor again, drawing what appears to be legitimate heat from the crowd. Kingston gets back in at nine and immediately has to block a superplex. The top rope cross body gets two on Barrett and Kofi wins a slugout.
Kofi loads up another springboard but Barrett avoids it, only to get caught in the SOS for two. A BIG running kick to the side of Barrett's head sets up the Boom Drop. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise but Barrett ducks, setting off a very hot sequence of near falls for both guys. Winds of Change (Boss Man Slam) gets two for Wade but Kofi kicks his head off, sending him out to the floor.
After Kofi finally gets him back inside, Barrett grabs the rope at two. The place is really getting into this. Kingston charges into a boot in the corner but ducks the Bull Hammer, only to jump off the middle rope right into said Hammer, which retains the title for Barrett at 13:14 shown of 16:44.
Layla vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina chokes Layla against the ropes to start. Layla stares at Tamina like an idiot before getting shoved to t\he outside. We hit the chinlock as the crowd is SILENT. JBL makes fun of Josh's inability to talk to women as the match is dragging despite only running a minute and a half so far. Layla makes her comeback and hits a dropkick to the side of the head before screaming. When you can understand every word she's shouting, you might need to do a better job at firing up the crowd. The bouncing cross body is caught in a slam and the Superfly Splash gets the pin at 3:05. I think you can figure out the rating by yourselves.
The Raw ReBound is the really stupid ending to the show.
Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro
Cesaro and Sheamus start things off and pound on each other for a bit as you would expect the two of them to do. Off to Orton for a suplex for two and here's Sheamus again. Cesaro gets pounded some more as Big Show yells instructions to him. Orton comes in and pounds him in the head for a bit before Sheamus gets another tag. Cesaro finally gets in some shots to the ribs and there's the tag to Big Show.
Show puts Sheamus down and swings at Orton, allowing Sheamus to come back with a shot to the head. The good guys double clothesline Show to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus sending Cesaro to the apron for the ten forearms. Show makes a blind tag and spears Sheamus down as momentum really shifts for the first time. Cesaro can be heard telling Show what to do (a recurring theme tonight) as Show gets two off an elbow drop.
The referee tells Show to let Sheamus out of the corner, but Show yelling at the referee allows Sheamus to get in some offense for a change. Show misses a charge in the corner but comes back with a chokeslam for two. I guess that's officially just another big move for Show anymore. The KO punch misses and Sheamus kicks Show's head off to put both guys down.
Double tags bring in Cesaro and Orton and it's time for Randy's finishing seq uence. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT and Sheamus tags himself in, much to Orton's annoyance. White Noise takes Cesaro down but as Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick, Orton comes in with an RKO. Sheamus reluctantly gets the pin at 10:36 shown of 14:06.
Sheamus and Orton stare each other down (not really out of rage) to end the show.
Results
The Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale
Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya b. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes – Chop to Epico
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash
Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro – RKO to Cesaro
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing again.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
John Cena/The Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – AA to Sandow
Antonio Cesaro b. Sgt. Slaughter – Neutralizer
HELL NO b. 3MB – Swan Dive to McIntyre
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when the Shield interfered
Big Show b. Ricardo Rodriguez via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
NXT
Bo Dallas b. Epico – Spear
Tamina Snuka b. Sasha Banks – Superfly Splash
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Kruger End
Corey Graves b. Seth Rollins via Dqq when the Shield interfered
Impact Wrestling
James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call
Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing
Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered
Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man
Smackdown
The Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale
Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya b. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes – Chop to Epico
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash
Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro – RKO to Cesaro
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 31, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
It's the final show of the year, unless you count the other shows that were taped after this. For the second week in a row, we've got a show that probably shouldn't happen but is anyway because WWE believes people want to sit around on New Year's Eve and watch their pretty lame shows. We're getting close to Rumble time but the first show of next year has the Rock and a title match so odds are we'll hear about next week more than the PPV. Let's get to it.
Here's MizTV to open the show. Apparently tonight is a Championship Special, meaning all titles (minus the WWE Title I'm assuming) are on the line and the champions get to pick their opponents. Miz's guest is Cena who tells us all happy holidays. Miz talks about Cena being on the show before when the AJ saga was going full scale. Tonight, Cena is going to be a guest at Ziggler and AJ's champagne toast.
This brings out the Rhodes Scholars for no apparent reason with Damien quoting T. S. Elliot. Cena quotes RG3 (Redskins' quarterback) and says the Scholars suck. Cena looks at Cody's mustache and Sandow makes fun of the two of them going from main eventing Wrestlemania to being in the Scholars' shadows. Cena wants a tag match RIGHT NOW and apparently he's getting one. Cole: “Did you ever think you would see Miz and Cena on the same team?” You mean the former WWE Tag Team Champions Cole?
Rhodes Scholars vs. John Cena/The Miz
Cena and Cody start things off but a fast tag to Miz lets him come in with a top rope ax handle. Off to Sandow who is knocked to the floor almost immediately and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting a suplex on Sandow and hooking a chinlock. Off to Miz who fights out of the heel corner during a discussion of his mustache. Ten punches in the corner and a big left hand get two for Miz but Cody pounds him into the other corner to take over.
Damien hits the Wind-Up Elbow before it's back to Cody for more chinlockery. Sandow comes back in and gets small packaged for two but he blocks the tag to Cena. Cody hooks a quick armbar before it's back to Sandow for a knee drop. The match keeps going as Cody comes back in again for more really basic offense. Miz blocks a bulldog though and there's the hot tag. It's Sandow that gets to take the finishing sequence but Cody takes Cena down with the Disaster Kick. Cody walks into the Finale and Cena hits the AA on Sandow for the pin at 12:04.
There's a New Year's Party going on in the back of course. Ziggler runs into Vickie and gets a match with Sheamus as a result. I guess they're done.
January 14 is the 20th anniversary show so they can hopefully have a good rating.
The Prime Time Players dance in the back when Heyman and Punk come up to Vickie. Punk has brought his doctor to prove that his injury is indeed real. Vickie says that's ok and asks Punk who he would have defended against tonight. Punk says Ryback of course, which leads to Ryback vs. the Shield in a handicap match after Punk whines about disrespect.
Here's Cesaro to run down America. This brings out the only man you call when there's someone anti-American and Jim Duggan is busy.
US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Slaughter slaps him in the back to start but is promptly caught in a chinlock. A quick Cobra Clutch is countered by Antonio grabbing the rope and the Neutralizer ends this in 1:47. Were you expecting anything else?
Antonio hits another Neutralizer and there's no Khali to make the save for some reason.
HELL NO is in the back pacing back and forth. They wanted to face the Shield tonight but now there's no one to fight. All hail the great new tag division! Anyway they hear strange noises from behind a sliding door, and find 3MB singing. We've got opponents.
At the party Big Show asks Ricardo if he wants a title match tonight and apparently Show has picked him. Ricardo spills a drink on Show's boot so Show scares Rodriguez a bit more.
Elsewhere, Kaitlyn brings Mae Young tot he party. Eve comes up and makes fun of her and picks Mae to face for the title shot. Oh joy.
Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. 3MB
It's Slater/McIntyre here. We get a Nexus reunion to start with Daniel vs. Heath. Slater gets in a quick shot but walks into a surfboard and Kane. Didn't Slater lose to Kane on the first season of NXT? Off to McIntyre as Cole talks about Auld Lang Syne. Back to Bryan who gets caught on the mat and stomped a bit before being low bridged to the floor. Mahal hits a running knee to the head and Bryan is in trouble.
Slater hooks a chinlock as Lawler makes band jokes. Bryan and Slater hit stereo cross bodies as Cole remembers there's a tag title match going on. Hot tag brings in Kane for some slams and a leg drop (brother!). The side slam gets two on McIntyre and there's the top rope clothesline. Slater is thrown to the floor and the chokeslam/Swan Dive retains the titles at 6:06.
We recap the opening tag match.
Here are Punk, Heyman, and Punk's doctor with something to say. Heyman talks about how Punk has been champion for 407 days which is rather impressive. Punk talks about everyone he's beaten over the course of the last year and names them off as usual. Apparently people are questioning how real his knee is, with some even calling if felonious. Punk's doctor, looking no more than about 24, with x-rays of what a good knee looks like compared to Punk's knee. The doctor says that Punk can't compete next week.
Cue Vince who has a different opinion I'm guessing. He suggests that Punk is trying to weasel his way out of the defense against Ryback and says next week that WWE physicians will look at Punk's knee before next week. Vince thinks there's something up between Punk and/or Maddox and the Shield. Punk is offended and denies an association with the four guys listed again. If Punk doesn't go next week, Heyman takes his place.
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
Sweet Christmas how many times do we have to watch these two fight? Sheamus pounds him down to start and drops an elbow for two. Lawler makes jokes about AJ's romantic issues over the year. Remember, this is JERRY LAWLER talking about someone's relationship issues. Langston breaks up the ten forearms in the ropes and we take a break.
Back with Ziggler holding a quickly broken chinlock followed by the jumping DDT for two. The jumping elbow gets the same and Ziggler pounds away. We hit the chinlock again for a bit until Sheamus fights out. A powerslam puts Ziggler down and there's a middle rope fallaway slam for a delayed two.
Sheamus goes up but gets crotched almost immediately, only to shove Ziggler down twice and hit the top rope shoulder for two. Dolph escapes the Cloverleaf but can't escape White Noise for no cover. Langston breaks up the Brogue Kick but Shemaus sends Ziggler to the floor to escape the Zig Zag. Sheamus and Langston stare each other down and here's the Shield for the DQ at 12:46.
The Shield beats Sheamus down and hits the Triple Bomb on him.
Barrett comes up to Kofi in the back to set up their title match later tonight.
Brad Maddox asks Punk and Heyman for another shot. Heyman throws Maddox out. GO PAULIE GO!
Mae Young has a stomach ache and has to be examined. The doctor declares her pregnant. Mae: “Not again!”
Eve comes out to brag about how she would have defended against Mae tonight, and wants to be declared winner by forfeit. Oh wait she needs a photographer first. Instead she gets Kaitlyn. You know, BECAUSE THIS HASN'T HAPPENED ENOUGH YET. Kaitlyn charges the ring and beats Eve down and I don't think there's going to be a match. Ignore the referee in the ring I guess. Eve gets her belt and bails.
Alberto says he should get the shot instead of Ricardo. Rodriguez says he'll win the title in Del Rio's honor. Alberto apologizes for treating Ricardo badly over the years and says he'll be there for Ricardo tonight. He also gives Rodriguez his scarf to make him look like a champion. Ricardo gets to drive Alberto's car to the ring tonight too. See, THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people sympathize with Alberto more, unlike Miz who is the same guy he was before the turn. SHOW US how they're different and we'll buy it.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Ricardo Rodriguez
Ricardo is in his tuxedo here. He goes for a leg to start and then the pain begins. Show hits a big chop in the corner and shouts in a Spanish accent. He talks trash to Alberto, allowing Ricardo to get a boot up in the corner followed by a running enziguri in the corner. Show's boot out of the corner is countered into a kind of Stunner onto the knee, but Ricardo jumps into a big chop out of the corner. Show loads up the WMD when Alberto runs in for the DQ at 2:27.
Alberto kicks Big Show down and leaves, before doing THE WINK. I missed that thing.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Kofi is defending and fires off some kicks to start. As soon as the bell rang, the place went silent. Kofi does his leapfrogs into the back elbow into a dropkick for two. He rolls out of a top wristlock and tries Trouble in Paradise but Wade bails away. A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and we take our second break in less than five minutes. Back with Barrett in control via a boot to the face that is ONLY available from the WWE App. I know this because it was shown on Raw as Cole told us it was only available on the WWE App.
Barrett gets two off the pumphandle slam and fires away knees to the face. The boot in the ropes misses and Kofi kicks Wade to the floor. A springboard dive takes Barrett down and they head back in for Kofi to kind of botch a counter to the Boss Man Slam into a sunset flip for two. SOS gets two followed by Kofi's punches in the corner being countered into a powerbomb for two on Kofi. The kick misses again and I think we have something cut out before the Wasteland gets two. Barrett runs Kofi over and kicks him in the head, but Kofi misses the springboard cross body. The Bull Hammer gives Barrett the title at 12:28.
In the back, Mae is ready for delivery.
For some reason we recap last week's Santa stuff. Nice job of enforcing that face push for Del Rio.
Santino and Zack show up to the party as Mae is about to deliver. HELL NO comes in and argue over whether or not this shouuld happen. Santino can see the baby coming. It's Hornswoggle, complete with a hat, a banner saying Happy New Year, and a cigar. I have....nothing. My jaw is hanging open, I have no idea what I just saw, I don't want to ever think about this again.
And now, here's the Shield!
Ryback vs. The Shield
The brawl starts in the aisle before the bell and the beatdown begins until Sheamus runs down for the save. He gets beaten down as well until Randy Orton returns to make the real save. Good thing it wasn't a long term injury. Methinks this is a six man for the Rumble. The non-Shield guys clear the ring. No match here.
It's 10:45 and it's time for the closing segment. Ziggler and AJ are in white and Langston is in his gear. Dolph complains about Cena winning Superstar of the Year and then Cena vs. Rock got Match of the Year, which Cena lost. Then the next night Lesnar returned and laid Cena out. Then Cena Lost to Johnny Ace. Then Cena lost his cash-in attempt. Then Ziggler beat Cena at TLC thanks to AJ.
Ziggler talks about how Cena is the same guy he was ten years ago (no he isn't) and how it's now Ziggler's time. Cena is officially uninvited to the toast, so Langston is tasked with keeping Cena out of the ring. Ziggler and AJ kiss and here's Cena. He says Ziggler is right and if you judge the year by how it goes out, 2012 was the year of Dolph and AJ.
Cena rips on AJ's romance issues and we get the always “funny” fake photos of AJ and Ziggler shopping for wedding clothes and baby pictures. It's a set of pictures of AJ's children with various wrestlers' faces superimposed, including Mr. Fuji, Eve, Matilda the Bulldog and Hillbilly Jim. Cena talks about how he's been here ten years and had one bad year. Ziggler on the other hand has been here and has been a caddy then a cheerleader and now he carries around a briefcase. Cena enters the Rumble and promises to be champion next year.
John goes off on a rant about Ziggler and AJ wearing white and says that even though his uniform has never changed over the years (yeah it has), his message and resolve never have. Cena offers a toast to them to end the year.....and brown stuff that apparently smells bad falls from the ceiling onto Ziggler and AJ to end the show. Let's see: superimposed images, Mae Young and human waste. It's the WWE comedy triple pack!
Results
John Cena/The Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – AA to Sandow
Antonio Cesaro b. Sgt. Slaughter – Neutralizer
HELL NO b. 3MB – Swan Dive to McIntyre
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when the Shield interfered
Big Show b. Ricardo Rodriguez via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
Impact got a 1.0.
Smackdown got a 1.9.
NXT
Date: January 2, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
We're back to a regular show this week after last week's pretty awesome year in review show. The main change is that the Shield has now been acknowledged in NXT, which is kind of strange as Ambrose never appeared on this show that I remember. Anyway, it's nice to see things caught up even a little bit as we've now hit Survivor Series. Skipping a week or so wouldn't really be that big of a deal would it? Let's get to it.
Before anything else has time to happen, the Shield is beating down some guys who we didn't even get to see. The bell was ringing as Coheed and Cambria were wrapping up the theme song. Dusty pops up on stage and says that's enough. Ambrose says that's just a small taste of what they're capable of. It's all in the name of justice and righting wrongs. Rollins says they're taking over NXT just like they did with Raw and Smackdown. Dusty says that Rollins is defending the title against Corey Graves tonight. Rollins says ok but be careful what you wish for. Reigns says this is their house and Dusty is paying rent.
Bo Dallas vs. Epico
The fans want the absent Rosa and I can't say I blame them. Dallas runs him over to start and grabs a headlock, only to nearly fall to the floor as Epico sends him into the ropes. A knee to Dallas' ribs takes him down and a slingshot hilo gets two. Epico hooks a body scissors followed by a backbreaker with Dallas being bent over the knee. A dropkick from Epico sends Dallas into the most overblown fall this side of a Curt Hennig match and gets two. He spun in about a circle and a half from a standard dropkick. Dallas shrugs off right hands and starts to smile. A belly to belly suplex to Epico sets up the spear for the pin at 5:06.
Post match the cousins circle Dallas until McGillicutty makes the save, likely setting up a tag match.
Sasha Banks vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina pounds her down as Regal talks about how she's a second generation athlete. The interesting part: he DOESN'T say whose daughter she is! After an abdominal stretch from Tamina, Sasha makes a comeback with chops and a monkey flip followed by a victory roll for one. Dawson reminds us who Tamina's papa is as she hits a Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:49. Total squash.
Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel
For some reason I never put it together that Gabriel and Kruger are both from South Africa. The non-South Africans start things off and trade a few go behinds until it's off to Gabriel so things can speed up. Ohno hits a knee/kick to the face and brings in Kruger to face the almost immediately tagged Kidd. International Airstrike (were they ever officially called that?) hit some MCMG style double team moves to torment Kruger, with most of the moves being based around kicks to the face.
We get a breather as Kidd hooks a quick armbar but changes over to a Sharpshooter attempt instead. Kruger heads to the floor along with Ohno and it's time to unleash the dives. Kidd takes out Kruger after Gabriel dives on Ohno and we take a break. Back with IA hitting stereo kicks to Kruger's chest/back for two for Tyson. An Ohno distraction lets Kruger hit a spinebuster on Kidd to take over.
Ohno comes in with a standing backsplash for two and it's off to a modified cravate to crank on Kidd's neck a bit. Back to Leo for a snap suplex for two followed by some elbows. Kassius shouts that Leo is an animal. So should he want to hunt himself? Kruger drops knees on Tyson's ribs and hooks a quick chinlock before Ohno comes back in. Kidd dives to the corner and makes the hot tag, allowing Gabriel to speed things WAY up. After diving on Ohno, a blue thunder bomb gets two on Kruger. Everything breaks down as the South Africans trade rollups. Leo hits the Kruger End for the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.
NXT Title: Seth Rollins vs. Corey Graves
Something tells me Graves isn't really the favorite here. They slug it out to start with Graves taking over, getting two each off a small package and backslide. He goes for the leg lock but Seth makes a rope. Meaning it can only be regular leg work for now. Rollins gets an elbow up to slow things down and a running knee to the chest gets two. Off to a headscissors hold by the champion followed by a forearm to the face to keep Graves down. Rollins starts getting fired up but Graves takes the knee out and puts on the 13th Step....and here's the Shield for the DQ at 4:43.
Dusty sends some jobbers out to try to stop the Shield but they have no luck. We get up to about eight guys in there and they still can't get Shield out of there. Bo Dallas gets stuck in there alone and takes the Triple Bomb. Now in a good wrestling company, this is where the top face of the company would come to the ring for a BIG showdown. Thankfully NXT is a good wrestling company so here's Big E. Langston and the place goes nuts. Despite being up 3-1, the Shield bails. Dusty makes Langston vs. Rollins next week for the title.
Results
Bo Dallas b. Epico – Spear
Tamina Snuka b. Sasha Banks – Superfly Splash
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Kruger End
Corey Graves b. Seth Rollins via Dqq when the Shield interfered
Thursday
Raw got a 2.3, up from the previous week's 2.2. This was the New Year's Eve show.
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Kenely, Tazz
We open the new year with the return (yes another one) of Sting. Rather than let us be surprised by who wins, TNA has decided to throw the name out there ahead of time. The other issue is that Anderson may or may not be joining Aces and 8's. That would help their star power but somehow make them more boring at the same time. Let's get to it.
The opening recap kills some time.
We open with the Superstar of the Year presentation. The nominees are Ray, Storm, Aries, Roode and of course Hardy. To the shock of no one other than Aries or Roode, Hardy wins. Roode and Aries were arguing to the ring when the announcement was made and the two of them being shocked was funny stuff. Hardy says that this award means just as much as being champion, which draws Roode into the ring to yell.
When Roode was champion, NOTHING was more important to him than the title. He made history and set records when he was champion but here's Aries to argue that HE should be the winner because he averaged over four stars per PPV match. Hardy calms things down and says he'll defend against both of them at Genesis, which I think is the first match announced. Aries jumps him but gets in an argument with Roode over who gets to beat Hardy up. Aries tries to hit Jeff with the trophy but blasts Roode instead, bending the gold part on top. Hardy takes out Aries and leaves.
Storm is disappointed but Bad Influence comes in and makes fun of a country song to show how sad Storm is in a hilarious bit. Storm says he'll be back and he'll kick Daniels in his Twitter and knock Kaz's Facebook off. Kaz: “You forgot MySpace!”
Kazarian vs. James Storm
Daniels faked Storm out to start and Kaz got in a cheap shot to really start. That's some nice chicanery there. Storm pounds away in the ring before we head to the floor where Daniels can cheat yet again. Back in and Storm comes back with Closing Time (Codebreaker) for no cover, instead opting for a Russian Leg Sweep and a top rope elbow for two. For the third time a Daniels distraction lets Kaz take over, this time with a TKO for two. Storm hits another Codebreaker out of nowhere and after taking out Daniels, hits the Last Call to a jumping Kaz for the pin at 4:05.
Anderson is told to make a decision by Aces and 8's and after some prodding from Doc, he finally agrees. However, D-Von's bat is missing.
Kenny King talks to Kid Kash about some mini tournament for the shot at RVD.
Quick highlight package on Sting and Aces and 8's.
Here's Doc to say that Sting needs to get out here so he can cripple Sting once and for all. A ball bat falls from the ceiling and Doc FREAKS, shouting that he isn't afraid and demanding that Sting get out here as we take a break.
Brooke has no comment on her dad.
X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament: Kid Kash vs. Christian York
Kash jumps him to start and takes it to thef loor very quickly, only to get caught by a dropkick and a kick to the head from the apron. Kash pounds away a bit but York comes back with a botched handspring into a kick for two. A running low downward spiral gets two for Christian and he counters a backslide into the Mood Swing (Eve's swinging neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:43.
Hernandez and Chavo aren't scared of Morgan and Ryan.
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan has a bad arm so Joey is subbing for him. Ok then.
Joey Ryan vs. Hernandez
Hernandez pounds away to start and Morgan's arm appears to be fine. He comes in and hits a discus lariat on Hernandez for the DQ at 1:00.
Chavo gets taken down as well post match. Was there a point to this segment?
Angle thanks Brisco and Bischoff for having his back. Tonight it's a cage match so they can hang back here. Joe yells at them for no apparent reason but Angle smooths things over.
We see the Knockouts stretching.
We recap Aries/Ray/the Hogans for the millionth time.
Here's Hulk to apologize for being gone last week. He saw his daughter and Ray making out in the parking lot and he needed a breather. Hulk asks Brooke and Ray to come out here right now so here they are side by side and nearly arm in arm. Hulk wants an explanation right now and Ray says it was all on him. Papa Hogan GOES OFF on Ray, saying that he knew all along that Ray was a bad man. Apparently Ray broke some kind of code and he gets thrown out of the ring, just like Brooke. Ray is suspended as well. Is there a point to this coming ANYTIME soon?
Post break we recap what we just saw.
Back to OVW for more Joseph Park matches. He's been watching a lot of tape and Danny Davis is starting to get the appeal of him. I think Park graduates.
Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher
Tess is in all blue tonight which is a nice change of pace. She and Gail start but it's quickly off to Tara. I do enjoy the camera closeups we get of the Knockouts unlike the Divas. Mickie comes in off a blind tag to clear the ring as Jesse consoles Tara. Back in for Tara vs. Mickie as we take a break. Back with Tessmacher getting the hot tag and cleaning house. Tara gets knocked to the floor where Jesse wipes her face, allowing Kim to deck Tessmacher from behind. Back to Kim legally for an over the shoulder back/rib breaker for two.
Gail misses a charge in the corner and falls to the floor but she still manages to block the hot tag. Tara comes in with the slingshot somersault legdrop for two and it's off to a quick bow and arrow hold. Tessmacher slams Tara face first into the mat and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker on Kim gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher dives on Jesse and Tara on the floor. Gail misses the same charge in the corner again and Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin at 13:04.
Aces and 8's say they have to stay masked.
ODB is glad Sting is back and says Young will be back soon.
We recap the announcement of the triple threat match at Genesis.
Hulk makes it a three way elimination in a segment that doesn't need to exist. Next week it's the two of them against Hardy and whoever Hardy can get.
Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. D-Von/Masked Man
In a cage for absolutely no apparent reason. Doc slams the door on Angle as he gets in the ring, making it a handicap match to start. Joe beats on both guys in the ring as Doc keeps beating up Angle on the outside. D-Von charges into his partner in the corner so Joe can divide and conquer a bit. The numbers finally catch up to Joe and his comeback attempt is quickly stopped. Thankfully there's no tagging in this. I can't stand the idea of law and order in a cage match.
D-Von kicks the door into Angle's head again as the beating continues. We take a break and come back with Joe still fighting both guys off on his own. To be fair it's not like (presumably) Mike Knox and D-Von would be a huge challenge for a guy like Joe. Angle fights off Doc and gets the key to unlock the cage. Kurt cleans house but can't get the mask off due to Doc making ANOTHER save. Angle is busted open now but he avoids D-Von's headbutt. It's time to roll some Germans on both bikers and the Angle Slam pins the masked man at 11:43.
Post match more bikers run in to beat down Angle and Joe as Anderson watches from the floor. Sting comes in with the bat to clean house with little fanfare. Aces and 8's bail, but the masked man from the match is left alone. He gets triple teamed and the mask is pulled off to reveal Mike Knox, shocking ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Gee, just what Aces and 8's needs: ANOTHER FREAKING CAREER NOTHING. Tenay says Sting just took the power away from Aces and 8's. Mike, go watch some CMLL or something. It'll do you a lot of good.
Results
James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call
Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing
Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered
Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man
Friday
Impact got a 1.1, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: January 4, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
Welcome to the day of the year where more stuff happens in wrestling than any other. Whether it be the NJPW supershow or the Fingerpoke of Doom or Foley winning the title or Hogan debuting on Impact or Bret and Shawn burying the hatchet, something ALWAYS happens on January 4. Odds are not much of note will happen tonight, but things in the WWE will pick up big on Monday when Rock returns. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Orton returning to fight the Shield tonight as Alberto attacking Big Show after Ricardo got beaten up.
Here's Orton to open the show. He says that his new year's resolution is to become World Champion again. For some reason Smackdown isn't his show anymore, so he's entering the Royal Rumble. This brings out Sheamus who enters the Rumble as well. He's also here to thank Orton for his help with the Shield on Raw. Orton says that was for himself and now Sheamus and starts talking about the Rumble again. Sheamus says he knows a bit about the Rumble since he won it last year. They say they'll eliminate each other, so here's Big Show with something of his own to say.
The champ says all the winner of the Rumble gets is a shot at his fist, which is what Sheamus has gotten every single time they've fought. If Orton wants a shot, that's fine with him so come take a shot. Cue Cesaro who makes fun of these bragging Americans. Sheamus says he's from Ireland but Cesaro doesn't really care. Orton says how about this lazy American comes and RKOs Cesaro. Booker, tag match set, end opening segment.
Kingston gets his rematch tonight.
The Miz vs. Heath Slater
Did Drew always have that cowboy hat? JBL: “Here comes the air guitar playing version of the Spirit Squad.” So which one is Dolph Ziggler? Apparently this is because of 3MB being on MizTV the week before the Slammys. Feeling out process to start with Miz cranking on Slater's arm. A dropkick of all things puts Heath down and Miz works on a headlock. That stays on for a good while, suggesting this is going to be a long match.
Miz makes fun of the air guitar playing and pokes Slater in the eye. I would say it worked for Roddy Piper but Miz hasn't acted like Piper in years. Think back to the time he was champion: he ran his mouth a lot, he wasn't the best technical guy in the world, no one could seem to beat him no matter what, he had a lackey who was better in the ring than he was, and he somehow kept getting by the top guy in the company. Sound like any famous kilt wearing wrestlers?
Miz hiptosses Slater down but McIntyre trips him up to change momentum. Miz has to fight off the other 3MB guys, drawing an ejection for them and a quick rollup for two on Slater. We take a break and come back with Slater pounding away in the corner. Miz fights back so Slater bails again, only to get clotheslined down again. JBL talks about how important it was for Miz to team with Cena on Raw. Remember kids: title reigns from two years ago aren't as important as a one off tag match that opens up a New Year's Eve episode of Raw that no one watched.
Back inside, Miz misses a charge and his shoulder goes into the post, giving Slater something to focus on. After escaping a quick arm hold, Miz grabs a sunset flip for two before having his head kicked off for the same result for Slater. The sequence works so well that we do the exact same thing but with a clothesline instead of a kick by Slater. Miz comes back with a knee to the ribs and a kick to the face for two, only to have Slater send him into the buckle to stop the comeback.
Slater wraps Miz's arm around the post as JBL goes back and forth between praising Slater's abilities and blasting his non-existent singing abilities. Miz suplexes out of a headlock and both guys are down. Slater goes back to the arm so Miz uses the good elbow to take over again. A neckbreaker gets two for Heath but Miz shrugs it off and hits his signature stuff, finishing Slater with the Skull Crushing Finale at 12:22 shown of 15:22.
We recap Kofi losing the title on Monday.
Barrett doesn't want to talk about losing to Kofi in a gauntlet match on Main Event.
Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya vs. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes
This is an excuse to show the Mae Young stuff from Raw again. You know, because THAT is something to be proud of. The girls start things off with Natalya taking over with ease. Rosa tags in Epico, who gets to fight Khali. Epico turns around, sees Khali, and tags out to Primo. Khali hits a big chop and it's off to Horny for some comedy offense. He hits a Stunner on Epico but Primo finally takes him down with a shot to the head. JBL: “Doesn't PETA have rules against that?” Horny finally tags Khali, house is cleaned, and the big chop pins Epico at 4:03.
Kofi says this isn't about momentum because it's likely his last chance at the title. I highly doubt that.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Feeling out process to start with Kofi using his speed to escape the power brawling Barrett. Off to an armbar by the challenger which doesn't last that long. Wade bails to the floor but Kofi follows him out and sends him into the steps to take over again. Back in and a springboard forearm to the head gets two. The champ sends him into the corner and things slow down again. It's rather interesting how the fans seemed to be WAY more interested in Miz vs. Slater than they are here for a title match. I'm sure the fans not moving during the Miz match isn't noteworthy at all.
We hit the chinlock which doesn't last long as Kofi tries some fast rollups for two each. Barrett gets backdropped to the floor, followed by a dive from Kofi to take him out. Barrett seems fine to chill on the floor for a countout while claiming an injury but Kofi will have none of that. Wad\e hides in the ropes again as we take a break. Back with Wade knocking Kingston down with something we didn't see for no cover.
Back to the chinlock before Barrett shifts his attack to the ribs, firing off some kicks and dropping a middle rope elbow for two. Kofi gets placed in the ropes and kicked to the floor again, drawing what appears to be legitimate heat from the crowd. Kingston gets back in at nine and immediately has to block a superplex. The top rope cross body gets two on Barrett and Kofi wins a slugout.
Kofi loads up another springboard but Barrett avoids it, only to get caught in the SOS for two. A BIG running kick to the side of Barrett's head sets up the Boom Drop. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise but Barrett ducks, setting off a very hot sequence of near falls for both guys. Winds of Change (Boss Man Slam) gets two for Wade but Kofi kicks his head off, sending him out to the floor.
After Kofi finally gets him back inside, Barrett grabs the rope at two. The place is really getting into this. Kingston charges into a boot in the corner but ducks the Bull Hammer, only to jump off the middle rope right into said Hammer, which retains the title for Barrett at 13:14 shown of 16:44.
Layla vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina chokes Layla against the ropes to start. Layla stares at Tamina like an idiot before getting shoved to t\he outside. We hit the chinlock as the crowd is SILENT. JBL makes fun of Josh's inability to talk to women as the match is dragging despite only running a minute and a half so far. Layla makes her comeback and hits a dropkick to the side of the head before screaming. When you can understand every word she's shouting, you might need to do a better job at firing up the crowd. The bouncing cross body is caught in a slam and the Superfly Splash gets the pin at 3:05. I think you can figure out the rating by yourselves.
The Raw ReBound is the really stupid ending to the show.
Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro
Cesaro and Sheamus start things off and pound on each other for a bit as you would expect the two of them to do. Off to Orton for a suplex for two and here's Sheamus again. Cesaro gets pounded some more as Big Show yells instructions to him. Orton comes in and pounds him in the head for a bit before Sheamus gets another tag. Cesaro finally gets in some shots to the ribs and there's the tag to Big Show.
Show puts Sheamus down and swings at Orton, allowing Sheamus to come back with a shot to the head. The good guys double clothesline Show to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus sending Cesaro to the apron for the ten forearms. Show makes a blind tag and spears Sheamus down as momentum really shifts for the first time. Cesaro can be heard telling Show what to do (a recurring theme tonight) as Show gets two off an elbow drop.
The referee tells Show to let Sheamus out of the corner, but Show yelling at the referee allows Sheamus to get in some offense for a change. Show misses a charge in the corner but comes back with a chokeslam for two. I guess that's officially just another big move for Show anymore. The KO punch misses and Sheamus kicks Show's head off to put both guys down.
Double tags bring in Cesaro and Orton and it's time for Randy's finishing seq uence. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT and Sheamus tags himself in, much to Orton's annoyance. White Noise takes Cesaro down but as Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick, Orton comes in with an RKO. Sheamus reluctantly gets the pin at 10:36 shown of 14:06.
Sheamus and Orton stare each other down (not really out of rage) to end the show.
Results
The Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale
Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya b. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes – Chop to Epico
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash
Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro – RKO to Cesaro
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing again.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
John Cena/The Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – AA to Sandow
Antonio Cesaro b. Sgt. Slaughter – Neutralizer
HELL NO b. 3MB – Swan Dive to McIntyre
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when the Shield interfered
Big Show b. Ricardo Rodriguez via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
NXT
Bo Dallas b. Epico – Spear
Tamina Snuka b. Sasha Banks – Superfly Splash
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Kruger End
Corey Graves b. Seth Rollins via Dqq when the Shield interfered
Impact Wrestling
James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call
Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing
Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered
Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man
Smackdown
The Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale
Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya b. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes – Chop to Epico
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer
Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash
Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro – RKO to Cesaro