klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 28, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It's the Thanksgiving episode tonight and the main story is an eight man elimination tag with Team Roode vs. Team Angle. No word on who will actually be on each team, but it shouldn't be that hard to figure out. We should also get some buildup for the remaining tournament matches. Let's get to it.
Here's Dixie to open things up. With the southern accent rolling she talks about how things have gotten so crazy around here lately that she needs some help. Therefore, here's hew new Chief of Staff: Rockstar Spud. He's from British Boot Camp and OVW in case that name means nothing to you. Spud immediately sucks up to Dixie and says Impact would be nothing without her. The roster is put on notice that he's watching them and that Carter is the queen.
This brings us to the tournament matches. First up we've got Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode and the Wheel of Dixie has made that a tables match. Angle vs. Magnus on the other hand is a last man standing match. That's all on that front as Dixie talks about the winners of the matches tonight getting a feast while the losers get nothing. You can see the food fight from here. Finally here's Ethan Carter III to suck up to his aunt a bit before his match.
Ethan Carter III vs. Curry Man
The camera is lower than usual here. Curry Man is Christopher Daniels as the mascot of a Japanese curry company. He rants in Japanese a lot and is slammed down a lot as the bell rings. Carter slams the masked head into the mat a few times while telling him how rich he is. We hit a camel clutch and a YOU CAN'T WRESTLE chant breaks out.
A clothesline and a suplex get two for Carter but Curry Man comes back with some forearms and dodges a splash. The jobber comeback is short lived though as he goes to the top and gets punched in the jaw, allowing Carter to slam him down. The One Percenter is good for the pin on Curry Man at 3:37.
Carter does his catchphrase post match.
We look back at Gunner costing Storm the match last week by throwing in the towel.
Gunner is in the back and will be part of Team Angle tonight. Storm comes in and will be on the team too because whatever problems he has with Gunner can be dealt with on off hours. Gunner says he did what he thought was best last week but Storm doesn't want to hear it. More on this later I'm sure.
The Bro Mans are with their new DJ Zema Ion when ODB and Eric Young come up. The tag champions aren't interested in being in the Turkey Bowl tonight, but they'll take the match upon hearing their opponents: Norv Fernum and Dewey Barnes.
Velvet Sky vs. Lei'D Tapa
Tapa sends her into the corner to start and runs her over, only to have Velvet avoid a charge and get in a few forearms. Gail trips her up though, only to be ejected from the arena. Tapa runs her over again and chokes a lot before kicking Velvet in the face to put her down again. The fireman's carry into a Stunner ends Velvet at 3:35.
Video on the Turkey Bowl, a match where the loser wears a turkey suit.
Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum vs. Bro Mans
This is the Turkey Bowl match with Turkey Bowl bosses ODB and Eric Young at ringside. The Bro Mans now have DJ Zema Ion introducing them which is as good of a job for him as anything else. Robbie rants about how amazing the champions are as Zema does sound effects. The bell rings and the jobbers get rollups for two each, but a Hart Attack ends Barnes at 18 seconds.
Post match the losers are put in the turkey suits while Robbie makes turkey sounds and forces them to dance. The goons seem to enjoy it.
We get another video of AJ in Mexico, talking about what an honor it is to defend the title.
Dixie freaks out and gives AJ one week to give the title back or the legal options begin. What would wrestling be without a legal threat every week?
Roode with with his team: Chris Sabin and Bad Influence. Jokes are made but Roode wants them serious.
Spud hassles the caterer about the Thanksgiving feast tonight.
Angle and Magnus agree to team up tonight but beat each other up for a shot at the title next week.
We get a video on Anderson beating ray last week to end Aces and 8's.
It's time for a funeral for Aces and 8's, held in a funeral home with some Main Event Mafia members, Mike Tenay (in orange subglasses) and Eric Young as the only people there. Joe eats cookies while Young cries. No one has anything to say but Anderson pops out of the casket. He says he was trapped in the team for a year, meaning he rode motorcycles a lot and was part of many many many many many many many many segments on the show. He also thanks Hulk (not named) for sending over a delicious deli plate.
Angle wishes D'Lo the best and throws a bobble head into the casket in his memory. Joe swallows whatever he's eating and talks about the Aces hiding behind masks which they should have kept on. He has a six pack which symbolizes the only way to look at the bikers without masks on. Joe hands them out instead of throwing them in the casket (making sure not to give one to Kurt in a nice touch). To the Aces and 8's: may they ride their mopeds to the shores of Valhalla.
Tenay talks about Tazz being at the broadcast table with him but buries Tazz's cut and Brooke's shorts. The shorts wind up in Tenay's pocket of course. Eric is up next and buries one of the turkey suits, sending him into a fit of crying. Anderson goes last and thinks about putting in Ray's hammer but says he'll keep it since it's a perfectly good hammer. Ray comes I and tells Anderson to sleep with one eye open in the best interest of his pregnant wife. Ray calls death the final awakening and leaves. Really fun segment here, though it was better in 2005 when they held one for Team 3D and really cranked up the jokes.
Video on Angle being part of One Direction Day, a charity event. Angle had a quick match against a masked man which can be seen on the One Direction Day website if you're interested.
Spud yells about food some more.
Team Angle vs. Team Roode
Bobby Roode, Chris Sabin, Bad Influence
Kurt Angle, Magnus, James Storm, Gunner
Elimination rules. The captains get things going with both submissions quickly being escaped, giving us a standoff. Bad Influence comes in at the same time so Angle clotheslines them down, sending Daniels to the floor. Off to Magnus for some forearms before he cranks on the arm for a bit. Storm comes in to pound on the legal Daniels before bringing Gunner in for a clothesline/Russian legsweep combo for two. Gunner is sent out to the floor where Kaz and Sabin get in some cheap shots and the heels take over.
Back in and Sabin works over Gunner for a bit, only to quickly tag in Bad Influence. Gunner runs them over and slams Daniels down, allowing for the hot tag to Storm. The corner enziguri puts Daniels down and it's a Backstabber for Christopher and a Closing Time to Sabin. Last Call drops Kaz but Sabin grabs a rollup to eliminate Storm.
Magnus comes in for the first time and clotheslines Sabin down before bringing in Daniels for some chops to the chest. Magnus charges into a boot in the corner though, allowing for the tag back to Kaz. Bad Influence double teams Magnus down for two but Magnus coms back with a quick slam. A double tag brings in Kaz and Gunner with the tattooed one catching Kaz in an Irish Curse backbreaker. There's the Gun Rack but Daniels breaks it up. The High/Low is enough to get rid of Gunner and get us down to 4-2.
It's Magnus in for the good guys but Daniels easily takes him down and works him over. Magnus fights up from his knees before hiptossing Daniels out to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Daniels down but Magnus hurts his knee. The medical staff comes out to check on him as we take a break. Back with Magnus gone, meaning it's 4-1.
The heels hit a series of legdrops on Angle with Sabin getting a two count. Angle grabs a quick cradle but Daniels has the referee to prevent a count. Kurt fights up and takes out as many bad guys as he can with clotheslines before suplexing Roode and Sabin out of their shoes. In a very impressive power and stamina display, Angle hits ELEVEN Rolling Germans on everyone not named Sabin, including one to Bad Influence at the same time.
An Angle Slam puts Sabin down and there's the ankle lock to Kaz. Daniels tries to break it up so there's a double ankle lock to Daniels and Kaz at the same time. Roode brings in a chair but gets caught in an Angle Slam. Kurt blasts Roode with the chair for the DQ at 18:18.
Team Roode celebrates in the back with Roode saying Angle can't beat him.
Storm wants to know why Gunner didn't save him in the tag match. Gunner wants to know if they have plans as a team and walks off. Storm says no one dictates the futures of Storm and Gunner.
Video on the final four in the tournament.
The Carters aren't thrilled with the idea of eating Spud's feast so they'll be heading to Texas for their Thanksgiving.
Here are all of the winners of the matches tonight plus Velvet who is with Sabin. Roode points this out and Sabin throws Velvet out. Bobby asks everyone what they're thankful for. Bad Influence is thankful for their intelligence and large endowment. Kaz is thankful that Park isn't here to drink the gravy or fornicate with the pumpkin pie. Gail is thankful for being the prettiest and most dominant Knockout in the history of the company. Oh and her family too.
Sabin is thankful for his hair, being the best X-Division Champion ever and Velvet Sky. The Bro Mans are thankful for Mr. O Phil Heath, Zema Ion (officially part of the team) and for being the best team ever. Bad Influence: I'm not sure about that. Roode says the real Thanksgiving was last month in Canada and the fans will be thankful when he becomes the next champion.
It's time to eat but here's Angle to interrupt. He sees a ring full of turkeys, which are fighting words for the people in there. Roode challenges him to a fight which Angle accepts, and here's his backup. Fernum and Barnes are still in the turkey suits. You can fill in the blanks yourself here: bad guys are destroyed, food is everywhere, Spud panics, turkeys fly. The good guys, Velvet and ODB celebrate to end the show.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man One Percenter
Lei'D Tapa b. Velvet Sky Fireman's carry into a Stunner
Bro Mans b. Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum Hart Attack to Barnes
Team Roode b. Team Angle, last eliminating Angle via DQ when Angle used a chair
Friday
Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2013
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
The main story coming into tonight is Cena vs. Orton being confirmed for TLC, but I can't imagine we'll get much on that at Smackdown. Other than that the big questions are what did the Wyatts do with Daniel Bryan and why did Shield take out Punk on Raw. The show likely won't answer any questions but we might get a food fight because that's how wrestling works around a holiday. Let's get to it.
Theme song.
Here's Renee Young in the ring to introduce Randy Orton. We look back at the end of Survivor Series where the Authority helped Orton beat Big Show with the Punt. Orton says he begs to differ with Renee's version of things. First off he was playing possum instead of being knocked out. He didn't need the Authority to prove he could beat Big Show. All that did was taint his inevitable victory. That brings us to Monday where Cena showed up to challenge Orton to the title unification match at TLC. Renee asks Orton about why he didn't accept the match himself but Orton walks away.
We go to the back for the Thanksgiving party. Everyone is having a good time so here's Vickie to let us know that this is a leftover party. She has everything anyone could want, but this will NOT turn into a food fight. There will however be an eating contest between Titus and Khali but we have to wait on the winner.
Curtis Axel vs. Mark Henry
Ryback and Langston are here as seconds. Henry throws Axel around as you would expect to get us going. Ryback gets in a cheap shot on Langston and the distraction lets Axel get in some cheap shots on the knee to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Henry gets to his feet and throws Axel around like a small ferret. The JYD headbutts put Axel on the floor between two large muscular men and Ryback's interference doesn't work at all. Henry throws Curtis back inside for the World's Strongest Slam and the pin at 3:08.
Truth and Xavier Woods (in a Power Rangers shirt) are in the back when a ticked off Brodus Clay shows up. He gave them permission to use the music and Funkadactyls, not steal them. Brodus tells the rookie to watch his attitude and slaps him in the face. Truth and Tensai break up the fight as Brodus seems to have turned heel.
Back to the eating contest when AJ and Tamina crash the party. Vickie threatens to turn this into a food fight with the two of them against everyone else. That goes nowhere and we pan over to Khali passing out and Titus winning the contest. The win earns him a match with Antonio Cesaro tonight. Khali is covered in mashed potatoes.
Plymouth Rockers vs. Los Matadores/El Torito
3MB coming out to the Rockers' music isn't something I ever expected to see. JBL is WAY too excited to see El Torito. Torito gets things going with Slater as JBL refers to this as an inter-species match. The other Band members try to jump Torito but the Matadores dropkick them to the floor.
Torito dives through the ropes to take them out as the crowd is silent. Fernando gets stomped down in the 3MB corner with Drew draping Fernando's feet on the ropes and firing off forearms to the back. A hot tag brings in Torito with a top rope hurricanrana followed by a flying headscissors. Off to Diego and the double Angle Slam ends McIntyre at 2:57. Comedy match and not a funny one.
Video on the European shows.
Tons of Funk vs. Xavier Woods/R-Truth
Tensai and Truth get us going with both guys escaping various hold attempts. Truth finally gets slammed down but blocks a charge in the corner with a boot to the face. Off to Woods who pounds on Tensai and kicks him in the jaw to little effect. An enziguri sends Tensai into the corner and it's off to Brodus for the headbutt to the chest. A middle rope splash crushes Woods for the pin at 2:18. I like the idea of this feud. Stealing music seems like an easy way to start a feud but I don't remember it being used since.....the late 80s?
Punk is worried that he hasn't heard from Bryan and that he has bad ribs thanks to Reigns. He thinks Shield is acting on orders from someone.
Bray Wyatt talks about seeing mannequins in his dreams. Everyone is intoxicated in their own vanity but we all see symmetry. Bray insists that no one knows people like he does and that Daniel Bryan will be safe with them.
Titus O'Neal vs. Antonio Cesaro
Titus has a stomach ache which likely means a bad ending to this one. He grabs a headlock on Cesaro but gets dropkicked down, sending Titus into the ropes to hold his stomach. Titus jumps over Cesaro in the corner and kicks him in the face, only to make himself hurt more from the bark. Cesaro knees him in the stomach and puts on the Swing but Young comes in for the DQ at 2:00.
Titus is sick in JBL's hat (censored of course) for the payoff. Zeb makes fun of Titus so he gets sick on Colter as well. This went on WAY too long.
The Raw ReBound covers the main event.
Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield
Reigns and Rollins are challenging and Ambrose is on commentary. We get some big match intros and we're ready to go. Cody grabs a headlock to start on Rollins as Cole asks if the Authority had anything to do with Shield attacking Punk on Monday. Apparently Cole doesn't have clearance to get that answer so Ambrose says it's Shield's personal business. Cody slams Rollins down and brings in Goldust for a middle rope ax handle to the arm. Back to Cody who gets two off the front suplex and it's back to the arm.
Reigns comes in and you can feel the match change in a hurry. Goldust bows up to fight him but is easily knocked to the floor. Back in and Reigns scores with an uppercut but gets caught by a dropkick for no cover. Everything breaks down for a bit with the champions clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Cody working on Seth's arm but not being able to hit the Alabama Slam out of the corner. Instead Seth sunset flips him down for two and kicks Cody in the head for the same.
The announcers talk about brothers being tag team champions and Ambrose asks a question we need a definitive answer to: are Edge and Christian brothers or not? Reigns comes in for some pounding before it's quickly back to Rollins who chokes on the ropes. Cody gets caught in a front facelock by Reigns before getting dropped by a back elbow. Rollins comes back in but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor.
The hot tag brings in Goldust who clotheslines Reigns down a few times and a cross body gets one. Reigns breaks up the top rope cross body and sends Goldust to the floor as we take another break. Back with Goldust in trouble and being knocked into the corner by Rollins. We hit the chinlock on Goldust but he grabs a small package for two. A DDT puts Rollins down but Reigns knocks Cody off the apron to break up the hot tag.
Reigns clotheslines Goldust down for two and puts on a headlock. Goldust is taken into the Shield corner but comes out with a double clothesline to put everyone down. Now the hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and a sunset flip gets two on Rollins. Seth counters the moonsault press and sends Cody face first into the buckle to put him down.
Everything breaks down again and Goldust is sent into the barricade. Cody comes off the top with a nice plancha to take out both Shield members. Back in and Rollins avoids the moonsault press but misses the top rope knee. Cross Rhodes puts Seth out but Ambrose breaks it up for the DQ at 16:03 shown of 23:03.
Post match here's Punk with a chair to take out Shield. Vickie pops up on screen and makes it a six man tag.
Shield vs. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes/Goldust
The match is joined in progress as we come back with Punk pounding away on Ambrose in the corner. An elbow to the head gets two for Punk and it's back to Goldust for a clothesline. That's enough of the golden one so here's Cody to pound on Dean in the corner a bit more. A backdrop out of the corner puts Ambrose down and here's Punk again with a top rope ax handle to the head.
Ambrose avoids a charge in the corner and it's off to Rollins, who is immediately taken down in a modified Indian deathlock. Back to Goldust to stay on the leg and here's Cody for more of the same. JBL goes on a rant against Cole for reporting about the locker room, which somehow leads to him accusing Shield of helping Stanley Kubrick stage the moon landing. The tag champions stay on Rollins until Punk comes in with a backbreaker for two. There's the bridging Indian deathlock with the facelock before it's off to Cody for a half crab.
Rollins avoids a charge in the corner and brings in Ambrose as we take another break. Back with Dean slamming Cody down but charging into a boot in the corner, allowing for a tag to Punk. CM fires off his usual strikes followed by the swinging neckbreaker. He loads up the GTS....and here are the Wyatts. Punk charges at them but runs into Dean's elbow and a beating from Reigns ensues. Back to Dean but Punk DDTs him at the same time Rollins is caught in a neckbreaker for a cool double team. Punk goes over to Goldust but the Wyatts pull Goldust to the floor for the DQ at 5:50 shown of 9:20.
Post match the brawl continues until the Usos and Mysterio head out for the save. Vickie comes out to make it a twelve man tag. Good grief.
Shield/Wyatt Family vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio/CM Punk/Goldust/Cody Rhodes
Back with Ambrose bringing in Harper to work over Jey Uso. Harper runs him over a few times but gets rolled up for two, meaning it's time for Rollins to come in and stomp away. Seth stomps away in the corner and it's off to bray for his hard hitting offense. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll into a front facelock but Jimmy gets in a cheap shot from the apron.
Rey comes in off the 495th hot tag of the matches but can't knock the big man down. Instead it's a big boot to Rey's face for two and another tag to Wyatt. Bray hits a running splash in the corner and brings in Rowan for a swinging bearhug. A side slam gets two on Mysterio and it's back to Ambrose for a front facelock. Rey gets sent into the corner and here's Rollins, only to accidentally send Ambrose to the floor.
Mysterio gets in a kick to Seth's head and it's yet ANOTHER hot tag to Punk. He cleans house again and hits the suicide dive to Rowan on the floor. Back in and Punk hits three straight high knees to Erick in the corner. A neckbreaker sets up the Macho Elbow and everything breaks down. The Usos superkick two monsters and hit their dives on Harper and Rollins. Bray breaks up the GTS attempt on Rollins but Rey breaks up Sister Abigail. The 619 knocks Rowan into the GTS for the pin at 8:47.
Results
Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel World's Strongest Slam
Los Matadores/El Torito b. Plymouth Rockers Double Angle Slam to McIntyre
Tons of Funk b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth Middle rope splash to Woods
Antonio Cesaro b. Titus O'Neal via DQ when Darren Young interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk/Rey Mysterio b. Shield/Wyatt Family GTS to Rowan
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing again.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Cody Rhodes/Goldust Bulldog driver to Rhodes
Mark Henry/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback World's Strongest Slam to Axel
Total Divas b. Team AJ Torture Rack backbreaker to Summer Rae
Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler You're Welcome onto a trashcan
CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family went to a double disqualification when everyone brawled in the ring
Xavier Woods b. Heath Slater Lost in the Woods
John Cena/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton STF to Del Rio
NXT
Antonio Cesaro b. Yoshi Tatsu Neutralizer
Bo Dallas b. CJ Parker Bulldog out of the corner
Tyler Breeze b. Kassius Ohno Beauty Shot
Hunico/Camacho b. Ascension Small package to Viktor
Adrian Neville b. Sami Zayn Red Arrow
Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man One Percenter
Lei'D Tapa b. Velvet Sky Fireman's carry into a Stunner
Bro Mans b. Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum Hart Attack to Barnes
Team Roode b. Team Angle, last eliminating Angle via DQ when Angle used a chair
Smackdown
Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel World's Strongest Slam
Los Matadores/El Torito b. Plymouth Rockers Double Angle Slam to McIntyre
Tons of Funk b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth Middle rope splash to Woods
Antonio Cesaro b. Titus O'Neal via DQ when Darren Young interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk/Rey Mysterio b. Shield/Wyatt Family GTS to Rowan
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 28, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It's the Thanksgiving episode tonight and the main story is an eight man elimination tag with Team Roode vs. Team Angle. No word on who will actually be on each team, but it shouldn't be that hard to figure out. We should also get some buildup for the remaining tournament matches. Let's get to it.
Here's Dixie to open things up. With the southern accent rolling she talks about how things have gotten so crazy around here lately that she needs some help. Therefore, here's hew new Chief of Staff: Rockstar Spud. He's from British Boot Camp and OVW in case that name means nothing to you. Spud immediately sucks up to Dixie and says Impact would be nothing without her. The roster is put on notice that he's watching them and that Carter is the queen.
This brings us to the tournament matches. First up we've got Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode and the Wheel of Dixie has made that a tables match. Angle vs. Magnus on the other hand is a last man standing match. That's all on that front as Dixie talks about the winners of the matches tonight getting a feast while the losers get nothing. You can see the food fight from here. Finally here's Ethan Carter III to suck up to his aunt a bit before his match.
Ethan Carter III vs. Curry Man
The camera is lower than usual here. Curry Man is Christopher Daniels as the mascot of a Japanese curry company. He rants in Japanese a lot and is slammed down a lot as the bell rings. Carter slams the masked head into the mat a few times while telling him how rich he is. We hit a camel clutch and a YOU CAN'T WRESTLE chant breaks out.
A clothesline and a suplex get two for Carter but Curry Man comes back with some forearms and dodges a splash. The jobber comeback is short lived though as he goes to the top and gets punched in the jaw, allowing Carter to slam him down. The One Percenter is good for the pin on Curry Man at 3:37.
Carter does his catchphrase post match.
We look back at Gunner costing Storm the match last week by throwing in the towel.
Gunner is in the back and will be part of Team Angle tonight. Storm comes in and will be on the team too because whatever problems he has with Gunner can be dealt with on off hours. Gunner says he did what he thought was best last week but Storm doesn't want to hear it. More on this later I'm sure.
The Bro Mans are with their new DJ Zema Ion when ODB and Eric Young come up. The tag champions aren't interested in being in the Turkey Bowl tonight, but they'll take the match upon hearing their opponents: Norv Fernum and Dewey Barnes.
Velvet Sky vs. Lei'D Tapa
Tapa sends her into the corner to start and runs her over, only to have Velvet avoid a charge and get in a few forearms. Gail trips her up though, only to be ejected from the arena. Tapa runs her over again and chokes a lot before kicking Velvet in the face to put her down again. The fireman's carry into a Stunner ends Velvet at 3:35.
Video on the Turkey Bowl, a match where the loser wears a turkey suit.
Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum vs. Bro Mans
This is the Turkey Bowl match with Turkey Bowl bosses ODB and Eric Young at ringside. The Bro Mans now have DJ Zema Ion introducing them which is as good of a job for him as anything else. Robbie rants about how amazing the champions are as Zema does sound effects. The bell rings and the jobbers get rollups for two each, but a Hart Attack ends Barnes at 18 seconds.
Post match the losers are put in the turkey suits while Robbie makes turkey sounds and forces them to dance. The goons seem to enjoy it.
We get another video of AJ in Mexico, talking about what an honor it is to defend the title.
Dixie freaks out and gives AJ one week to give the title back or the legal options begin. What would wrestling be without a legal threat every week?
Roode with with his team: Chris Sabin and Bad Influence. Jokes are made but Roode wants them serious.
Spud hassles the caterer about the Thanksgiving feast tonight.
Angle and Magnus agree to team up tonight but beat each other up for a shot at the title next week.
We get a video on Anderson beating ray last week to end Aces and 8's.
It's time for a funeral for Aces and 8's, held in a funeral home with some Main Event Mafia members, Mike Tenay (in orange subglasses) and Eric Young as the only people there. Joe eats cookies while Young cries. No one has anything to say but Anderson pops out of the casket. He says he was trapped in the team for a year, meaning he rode motorcycles a lot and was part of many many many many many many many many segments on the show. He also thanks Hulk (not named) for sending over a delicious deli plate.
Angle wishes D'Lo the best and throws a bobble head into the casket in his memory. Joe swallows whatever he's eating and talks about the Aces hiding behind masks which they should have kept on. He has a six pack which symbolizes the only way to look at the bikers without masks on. Joe hands them out instead of throwing them in the casket (making sure not to give one to Kurt in a nice touch). To the Aces and 8's: may they ride their mopeds to the shores of Valhalla.
Tenay talks about Tazz being at the broadcast table with him but buries Tazz's cut and Brooke's shorts. The shorts wind up in Tenay's pocket of course. Eric is up next and buries one of the turkey suits, sending him into a fit of crying. Anderson goes last and thinks about putting in Ray's hammer but says he'll keep it since it's a perfectly good hammer. Ray comes I and tells Anderson to sleep with one eye open in the best interest of his pregnant wife. Ray calls death the final awakening and leaves. Really fun segment here, though it was better in 2005 when they held one for Team 3D and really cranked up the jokes.
Video on Angle being part of One Direction Day, a charity event. Angle had a quick match against a masked man which can be seen on the One Direction Day website if you're interested.
Spud yells about food some more.
Team Angle vs. Team Roode
Bobby Roode, Chris Sabin, Bad Influence
Kurt Angle, Magnus, James Storm, Gunner
Elimination rules. The captains get things going with both submissions quickly being escaped, giving us a standoff. Bad Influence comes in at the same time so Angle clotheslines them down, sending Daniels to the floor. Off to Magnus for some forearms before he cranks on the arm for a bit. Storm comes in to pound on the legal Daniels before bringing Gunner in for a clothesline/Russian legsweep combo for two. Gunner is sent out to the floor where Kaz and Sabin get in some cheap shots and the heels take over.
Back in and Sabin works over Gunner for a bit, only to quickly tag in Bad Influence. Gunner runs them over and slams Daniels down, allowing for the hot tag to Storm. The corner enziguri puts Daniels down and it's a Backstabber for Christopher and a Closing Time to Sabin. Last Call drops Kaz but Sabin grabs a rollup to eliminate Storm.
Magnus comes in for the first time and clotheslines Sabin down before bringing in Daniels for some chops to the chest. Magnus charges into a boot in the corner though, allowing for the tag back to Kaz. Bad Influence double teams Magnus down for two but Magnus coms back with a quick slam. A double tag brings in Kaz and Gunner with the tattooed one catching Kaz in an Irish Curse backbreaker. There's the Gun Rack but Daniels breaks it up. The High/Low is enough to get rid of Gunner and get us down to 4-2.
It's Magnus in for the good guys but Daniels easily takes him down and works him over. Magnus fights up from his knees before hiptossing Daniels out to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Daniels down but Magnus hurts his knee. The medical staff comes out to check on him as we take a break. Back with Magnus gone, meaning it's 4-1.
The heels hit a series of legdrops on Angle with Sabin getting a two count. Angle grabs a quick cradle but Daniels has the referee to prevent a count. Kurt fights up and takes out as many bad guys as he can with clotheslines before suplexing Roode and Sabin out of their shoes. In a very impressive power and stamina display, Angle hits ELEVEN Rolling Germans on everyone not named Sabin, including one to Bad Influence at the same time.
An Angle Slam puts Sabin down and there's the ankle lock to Kaz. Daniels tries to break it up so there's a double ankle lock to Daniels and Kaz at the same time. Roode brings in a chair but gets caught in an Angle Slam. Kurt blasts Roode with the chair for the DQ at 18:18.
Team Roode celebrates in the back with Roode saying Angle can't beat him.
Storm wants to know why Gunner didn't save him in the tag match. Gunner wants to know if they have plans as a team and walks off. Storm says no one dictates the futures of Storm and Gunner.
Video on the final four in the tournament.
The Carters aren't thrilled with the idea of eating Spud's feast so they'll be heading to Texas for their Thanksgiving.
Here are all of the winners of the matches tonight plus Velvet who is with Sabin. Roode points this out and Sabin throws Velvet out. Bobby asks everyone what they're thankful for. Bad Influence is thankful for their intelligence and large endowment. Kaz is thankful that Park isn't here to drink the gravy or fornicate with the pumpkin pie. Gail is thankful for being the prettiest and most dominant Knockout in the history of the company. Oh and her family too.
Sabin is thankful for his hair, being the best X-Division Champion ever and Velvet Sky. The Bro Mans are thankful for Mr. O Phil Heath, Zema Ion (officially part of the team) and for being the best team ever. Bad Influence: I'm not sure about that. Roode says the real Thanksgiving was last month in Canada and the fans will be thankful when he becomes the next champion.
It's time to eat but here's Angle to interrupt. He sees a ring full of turkeys, which are fighting words for the people in there. Roode challenges him to a fight which Angle accepts, and here's his backup. Fernum and Barnes are still in the turkey suits. You can fill in the blanks yourself here: bad guys are destroyed, food is everywhere, Spud panics, turkeys fly. The good guys, Velvet and ODB celebrate to end the show.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man One Percenter
Lei'D Tapa b. Velvet Sky Fireman's carry into a Stunner
Bro Mans b. Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum Hart Attack to Barnes
Team Roode b. Team Angle, last eliminating Angle via DQ when Angle used a chair
Friday
Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2013
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
The main story coming into tonight is Cena vs. Orton being confirmed for TLC, but I can't imagine we'll get much on that at Smackdown. Other than that the big questions are what did the Wyatts do with Daniel Bryan and why did Shield take out Punk on Raw. The show likely won't answer any questions but we might get a food fight because that's how wrestling works around a holiday. Let's get to it.
Theme song.
Here's Renee Young in the ring to introduce Randy Orton. We look back at the end of Survivor Series where the Authority helped Orton beat Big Show with the Punt. Orton says he begs to differ with Renee's version of things. First off he was playing possum instead of being knocked out. He didn't need the Authority to prove he could beat Big Show. All that did was taint his inevitable victory. That brings us to Monday where Cena showed up to challenge Orton to the title unification match at TLC. Renee asks Orton about why he didn't accept the match himself but Orton walks away.
We go to the back for the Thanksgiving party. Everyone is having a good time so here's Vickie to let us know that this is a leftover party. She has everything anyone could want, but this will NOT turn into a food fight. There will however be an eating contest between Titus and Khali but we have to wait on the winner.
Curtis Axel vs. Mark Henry
Ryback and Langston are here as seconds. Henry throws Axel around as you would expect to get us going. Ryback gets in a cheap shot on Langston and the distraction lets Axel get in some cheap shots on the knee to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Henry gets to his feet and throws Axel around like a small ferret. The JYD headbutts put Axel on the floor between two large muscular men and Ryback's interference doesn't work at all. Henry throws Curtis back inside for the World's Strongest Slam and the pin at 3:08.
Truth and Xavier Woods (in a Power Rangers shirt) are in the back when a ticked off Brodus Clay shows up. He gave them permission to use the music and Funkadactyls, not steal them. Brodus tells the rookie to watch his attitude and slaps him in the face. Truth and Tensai break up the fight as Brodus seems to have turned heel.
Back to the eating contest when AJ and Tamina crash the party. Vickie threatens to turn this into a food fight with the two of them against everyone else. That goes nowhere and we pan over to Khali passing out and Titus winning the contest. The win earns him a match with Antonio Cesaro tonight. Khali is covered in mashed potatoes.
Plymouth Rockers vs. Los Matadores/El Torito
3MB coming out to the Rockers' music isn't something I ever expected to see. JBL is WAY too excited to see El Torito. Torito gets things going with Slater as JBL refers to this as an inter-species match. The other Band members try to jump Torito but the Matadores dropkick them to the floor.
Torito dives through the ropes to take them out as the crowd is silent. Fernando gets stomped down in the 3MB corner with Drew draping Fernando's feet on the ropes and firing off forearms to the back. A hot tag brings in Torito with a top rope hurricanrana followed by a flying headscissors. Off to Diego and the double Angle Slam ends McIntyre at 2:57. Comedy match and not a funny one.
Video on the European shows.
Tons of Funk vs. Xavier Woods/R-Truth
Tensai and Truth get us going with both guys escaping various hold attempts. Truth finally gets slammed down but blocks a charge in the corner with a boot to the face. Off to Woods who pounds on Tensai and kicks him in the jaw to little effect. An enziguri sends Tensai into the corner and it's off to Brodus for the headbutt to the chest. A middle rope splash crushes Woods for the pin at 2:18. I like the idea of this feud. Stealing music seems like an easy way to start a feud but I don't remember it being used since.....the late 80s?
Punk is worried that he hasn't heard from Bryan and that he has bad ribs thanks to Reigns. He thinks Shield is acting on orders from someone.
Bray Wyatt talks about seeing mannequins in his dreams. Everyone is intoxicated in their own vanity but we all see symmetry. Bray insists that no one knows people like he does and that Daniel Bryan will be safe with them.
Titus O'Neal vs. Antonio Cesaro
Titus has a stomach ache which likely means a bad ending to this one. He grabs a headlock on Cesaro but gets dropkicked down, sending Titus into the ropes to hold his stomach. Titus jumps over Cesaro in the corner and kicks him in the face, only to make himself hurt more from the bark. Cesaro knees him in the stomach and puts on the Swing but Young comes in for the DQ at 2:00.
Titus is sick in JBL's hat (censored of course) for the payoff. Zeb makes fun of Titus so he gets sick on Colter as well. This went on WAY too long.
The Raw ReBound covers the main event.
Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield
Reigns and Rollins are challenging and Ambrose is on commentary. We get some big match intros and we're ready to go. Cody grabs a headlock to start on Rollins as Cole asks if the Authority had anything to do with Shield attacking Punk on Monday. Apparently Cole doesn't have clearance to get that answer so Ambrose says it's Shield's personal business. Cody slams Rollins down and brings in Goldust for a middle rope ax handle to the arm. Back to Cody who gets two off the front suplex and it's back to the arm.
Reigns comes in and you can feel the match change in a hurry. Goldust bows up to fight him but is easily knocked to the floor. Back in and Reigns scores with an uppercut but gets caught by a dropkick for no cover. Everything breaks down for a bit with the champions clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Cody working on Seth's arm but not being able to hit the Alabama Slam out of the corner. Instead Seth sunset flips him down for two and kicks Cody in the head for the same.
The announcers talk about brothers being tag team champions and Ambrose asks a question we need a definitive answer to: are Edge and Christian brothers or not? Reigns comes in for some pounding before it's quickly back to Rollins who chokes on the ropes. Cody gets caught in a front facelock by Reigns before getting dropped by a back elbow. Rollins comes back in but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor.
The hot tag brings in Goldust who clotheslines Reigns down a few times and a cross body gets one. Reigns breaks up the top rope cross body and sends Goldust to the floor as we take another break. Back with Goldust in trouble and being knocked into the corner by Rollins. We hit the chinlock on Goldust but he grabs a small package for two. A DDT puts Rollins down but Reigns knocks Cody off the apron to break up the hot tag.
Reigns clotheslines Goldust down for two and puts on a headlock. Goldust is taken into the Shield corner but comes out with a double clothesline to put everyone down. Now the hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and a sunset flip gets two on Rollins. Seth counters the moonsault press and sends Cody face first into the buckle to put him down.
Everything breaks down again and Goldust is sent into the barricade. Cody comes off the top with a nice plancha to take out both Shield members. Back in and Rollins avoids the moonsault press but misses the top rope knee. Cross Rhodes puts Seth out but Ambrose breaks it up for the DQ at 16:03 shown of 23:03.
Post match here's Punk with a chair to take out Shield. Vickie pops up on screen and makes it a six man tag.
Shield vs. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes/Goldust
The match is joined in progress as we come back with Punk pounding away on Ambrose in the corner. An elbow to the head gets two for Punk and it's back to Goldust for a clothesline. That's enough of the golden one so here's Cody to pound on Dean in the corner a bit more. A backdrop out of the corner puts Ambrose down and here's Punk again with a top rope ax handle to the head.
Ambrose avoids a charge in the corner and it's off to Rollins, who is immediately taken down in a modified Indian deathlock. Back to Goldust to stay on the leg and here's Cody for more of the same. JBL goes on a rant against Cole for reporting about the locker room, which somehow leads to him accusing Shield of helping Stanley Kubrick stage the moon landing. The tag champions stay on Rollins until Punk comes in with a backbreaker for two. There's the bridging Indian deathlock with the facelock before it's off to Cody for a half crab.
Rollins avoids a charge in the corner and brings in Ambrose as we take another break. Back with Dean slamming Cody down but charging into a boot in the corner, allowing for a tag to Punk. CM fires off his usual strikes followed by the swinging neckbreaker. He loads up the GTS....and here are the Wyatts. Punk charges at them but runs into Dean's elbow and a beating from Reigns ensues. Back to Dean but Punk DDTs him at the same time Rollins is caught in a neckbreaker for a cool double team. Punk goes over to Goldust but the Wyatts pull Goldust to the floor for the DQ at 5:50 shown of 9:20.
Post match the brawl continues until the Usos and Mysterio head out for the save. Vickie comes out to make it a twelve man tag. Good grief.
Shield/Wyatt Family vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio/CM Punk/Goldust/Cody Rhodes
Back with Ambrose bringing in Harper to work over Jey Uso. Harper runs him over a few times but gets rolled up for two, meaning it's time for Rollins to come in and stomp away. Seth stomps away in the corner and it's off to bray for his hard hitting offense. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll into a front facelock but Jimmy gets in a cheap shot from the apron.
Rey comes in off the 495th hot tag of the matches but can't knock the big man down. Instead it's a big boot to Rey's face for two and another tag to Wyatt. Bray hits a running splash in the corner and brings in Rowan for a swinging bearhug. A side slam gets two on Mysterio and it's back to Ambrose for a front facelock. Rey gets sent into the corner and here's Rollins, only to accidentally send Ambrose to the floor.
Mysterio gets in a kick to Seth's head and it's yet ANOTHER hot tag to Punk. He cleans house again and hits the suicide dive to Rowan on the floor. Back in and Punk hits three straight high knees to Erick in the corner. A neckbreaker sets up the Macho Elbow and everything breaks down. The Usos superkick two monsters and hit their dives on Harper and Rollins. Bray breaks up the GTS attempt on Rollins but Rey breaks up Sister Abigail. The 619 knocks Rowan into the GTS for the pin at 8:47.
Results
Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel World's Strongest Slam
Los Matadores/El Torito b. Plymouth Rockers Double Angle Slam to McIntyre
Tons of Funk b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth Middle rope splash to Woods
Antonio Cesaro b. Titus O'Neal via DQ when Darren Young interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk/Rey Mysterio b. Shield/Wyatt Family GTS to Rowan
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing again.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Cody Rhodes/Goldust Bulldog driver to Rhodes
Mark Henry/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback World's Strongest Slam to Axel
Total Divas b. Team AJ Torture Rack backbreaker to Summer Rae
Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler You're Welcome onto a trashcan
CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family went to a double disqualification when everyone brawled in the ring
Xavier Woods b. Heath Slater Lost in the Woods
John Cena/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton STF to Del Rio
NXT
Antonio Cesaro b. Yoshi Tatsu Neutralizer
Bo Dallas b. CJ Parker Bulldog out of the corner
Tyler Breeze b. Kassius Ohno Beauty Shot
Hunico/Camacho b. Ascension Small package to Viktor
Adrian Neville b. Sami Zayn Red Arrow
Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man One Percenter
Lei'D Tapa b. Velvet Sky Fireman's carry into a Stunner
Bro Mans b. Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum Hart Attack to Barnes
Team Roode b. Team Angle, last eliminating Angle via DQ when Angle used a chair
Smackdown
Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel World's Strongest Slam
Los Matadores/El Torito b. Plymouth Rockers Double Angle Slam to McIntyre
Tons of Funk b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth Middle rope splash to Woods
Antonio Cesaro b. Titus O'Neal via DQ when Darren Young interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk/Rey Mysterio b. Shield/Wyatt Family GTS to Rowan