klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 27, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
It's an interesting time in Impact Wrestling and that's excluding all of the court shenanigans going on at the moment. The big story at the moment is Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards over the TNA World Title but in addition to that we have the mixed feud between Cody and Brandi Rhodes vs. Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis-Bennett. Let's get to it.
We open at the Hardy Compound where Senor Benjamin and Vanguard 1 have prepared a corn maze. The humans go their separate ways and Jeff, wearing sunglasses, says he has lost his family and stops to eat corn, seemingly starving. Matt suddenly has a pre-mo-NEE-tion saying that an outsider will appear tonight and give them a bad message. As for now though, it's Trick or Delete.
Ethan Carter III/Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex/Eli Drake
This was set up during a brawl on Fact of Life last week. Aron works on Jesse's arm to start as it's the simple white and pink gear still looks pretty horrible. Jesse and Ethan alternate dropkicks for two on Rex but it's off to Drake for a breather. That lasts all of five seconds before it's back to Aron, who has to be saved from the Adonis Lock. A double flapjack plants Drake and we go to a commercial.
Back with Jesse fighting out of a chinlock but getting kneed in the ribs to put him right back down. The beating doesn't last long though as Jesse dives over for the hot tag to Carter but Rex takes him right down into the corner for some knees to the face. Drake adds in some shoulders and we're off to the second face in peril segment.
The Russian legsweep and wind-up elbow get two on Carter, who then has to fight out of Drake's chinlock. They trade sleepers and Carter falls into the corner for the tag to Jesse. An Angle Slam of all things sends Drake flying as everything breaks down again. Rex has something on his hand to rake over Jesse's face, followed by the Revelator for the pin at 15:18.
We look back at Maria attacking Brandi last week.
Maria is running her mouth when Brandi comes in, sending Maria scampering.
Grado has something planned for Halloween but won't say it on camera.
Some kids come up to House Hardy so Jeff sings the Obsolete Song and Matt tells them that they're soldiers in the Great War.
Rockstar Spud teases who he has for his Team X Gold teammates.
Here's Grado to say he's been having a great time in Impact Wrestling but wants more. That's why tonight he wants to bring out one of his inspirations: Robbie E! See, for Halloween, Grado wants to be a BroMan. He heads to the back and comes out in yellow trunks and covered in oil, which gives us the always awesome shocked Robbie face. A lot of dancing ensues but the TNA Wyatts appear and beat them down. Josh says they're called the DCC as two of them give Grado a spike piledriver.
Earlier today, Aiden O'Shea called Allie over to talk to Billy Corgan. Allie thinks she needs to stand up for herself so Corgan grants her a match with Laurel Van Ness for tonight.
DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay
This is Team X Gold and Decay are mystery partners. Sutter and company are now called Team Go For Broke and carry a Team X Gold flag, which seems to be the division's title. Sutter drops Abyss with a flying shoulder and catches Steve in a scoop powerslam. Mandrews comes in and his high levels of suck allows Steve to take over with some ripping at the face. Steve charges into a boot in the corner but Mandrews still can't dive over for the tag. The second attempt works and it's off to DJZ as everything breaks down. The ZDT takes care of Spud for the pin at 4:03.
Cody and Brandi call this personal.
Here are Lashley and Eddie Edwards for their contract signing. All contact has been banned and I'm sure that's going to hold up. Lashley thinks it's amusing that Eddie got to face Cody last week instead of the inevitable title loss right off the bat while he's been jumping through hoops.
Lashley gives Eddie a change to get out without signing but Eddie talks about Lashley ducking him and how the rematch is next week. Lashley did take Eddie lightly and he got lucky. This isn't a movie though and now the lucky guy has to pay. The champ says he's not backing down and signs but asks Lashley what happens if he loses next week. That's enough for Lashley and the table is turned over, only to have him sign in peace.
We recap Allie getting beaten down last week.
Laurel Van Ness hits on Sutter, who doesn't know what to think.
Back to House Hardy where we have the opening of the first Halloween movie (nice touch). The doorbell rings and it's.....the Hurricane, who has the door slammed in his face. Jeff leaves to put on his costume and comes back as that fast talking insane guy from the Great War, who I don't believe has a name.
Back from a break with Jeff, in costume, mowing the lawn into his logo.
Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie
Madison Rayne is on commentary again. Laurel drives her into the corner to start and shrugs off a clothesline. They head outside where Laurel misses a charge into the steps to give Allie a chance. Back in and Allie scores off a double leg takedown and some right hands, setting up a rollup for two. Not that it matters as a curb stomp ends Allie at 4:33.
Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump come up to House Hardy. Senor Benjamin tazes Trump and Jeff asks what happened to the e-mails. Matt: DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! Ok I chuckled on that one. Jeff shouts about Boo Radley and Vanguard I chases Hilary away.
Godderz comes up to Rex and demands a title shot, which Rex actually grants.
A kid comes up to House Hardy and gives Reby a tape, which is from the DCC. They're coming for the Hardys and their titles next week.
Mike Bennett and Maria say they have what Cody and Brandi want.
Video on Lashley vs. Edwards.
Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Cody/Brandi Rhodes
Maria starts and tags out in less than three seconds, meaning the men will really get this going. Cody sends Mike into the corner and Maria slaps him in the face, almost drawing Brandi over for the fight. A cutter gives Mike two and we take a break. Back with Cody fighting out of trouble and slamming Mike down.
Maria is smart enough to sneak around the ring and pull Brandi off the apron though, meaning Mike can get in a running corner clothesline. Mike allows Maria to get in a few cheap shots but she kicks her husband low by mistake. The tag brings in Brandi and it's time for the catfighting because neither of them are full time wrestlers.
The bad looking offense results in Maria being sent into another low blow on Mike, followed by some kind of choke/half nelson from Brandi (the camera keeps moving around so we never get a clear shot of it). Cody adds a modified reverse Figure Four (I believe Jamie Noble used to call it the Trailer Hitch) for a double submission at 11:20.
Cody and Brandi go to the back but Lashley jumps Cody, leaving Brandi to flail at his back. Lashley, in a weird camera shot where he's supposed to be looking at Cody but is looking at the camera, says no one comes into his house without his permission to end the show.
Results
Aron Rex/Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz/Ethan Carter III Revelator to Godderz
DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews b. Rockstar Spud/Decay ZDT to Spud
Laurel Van Ness b. Allie Curb stomp
Cody/Brandi Rhodes b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett/Mike Bennett Double submission
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2016
Date: October 30, 2016
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It's the annual scary show as we have three matches inside the Cell. In this case we've got Rusev challenging Roman Reigns for the US Title, Kevin Owens defending the Raw World Title against Seth Rollins and, possibly, a main event of Charlotte going after Sasha Banks' Women's Title. If that's true, it's the biggest match in the history of women's wrestling. Let's get to it.
Pre-Show: Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander/Sin Cara vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Rematch from Superstars. Cara and Nese start things off and Dorado looks so much like Cara that Mauro Ranallo gets them confused. A couple of backbreakers have Nese's partners in trouble as we get a Sin Cara chant. Cara moonsaults onto Daivari to set up a double tag to Dorado and Nese with the former cleaning house off a variety of kicks. A shooting star press gets two on Nese and everything breaks down. Nese throws Dorado onto Cara and Cedric to send us to a break.
Back (after that freaky Ziggler vs. Miz chicken ad) with Daivari kneeing Dorado in the face and the fans not going along with Nese's pleas for a DAIVARI chant. Nese trips Dorado and springboards into a Lionsault which barely grazes Lince but gets two anyway. The hot tag brings in Alexander to a very nice reaction. A triple dive takes the heels out and everything breaks down with a series of strikes and slams all around. Cedric stomps on Gulak and gives him the Lumbar Check for the pin at 9:37.
The opening video features the Ouija board theme before talking about the three main matches and all the violence that will ensue.
US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Cole says this is the 34th time the Cell has been lowered, which really doesn't have the same ring to it anymore. Reigns is defending and slugs away to start before heading outside for some failed rams into the cage. Rusev gets knocked off the apron and into the cage before being whipped into the cage. A kick to the head gets Rusev out of trouble and he takes Reigns back inside to start working on the arm.
Rusev misses a charge though and gets clotheslined in the corner, followed by a boot to the face. That just earns Reigns a whip into the steps before Rusev changes the pace a bit by hitting the champ in the face with the steps. They head back inside with Reigns slingshotting into a dropkick through the ropes to send Rusev into the cage again.
It's already time for a kendo stick and a table as the champ pounds away on Rusev's back. They head inside again and Rusev gets the cane away before tying Reigns up. Some hard shots to the chest have Reigns in trouble until a spear gets a quick near fall. The Superman Punch connects for two but the second spear is blocked by a loud superkick.
Rusev sends him face first into the steps (on the top rope) for two more and frustration is setting in. The Accolade goes on with Reigns' shoulders nearly being pulled out of socket. The champ gets out again so Rusev opts for a chain, which is quickly knocked out of his hands. We actually get dueling Rusev chants as he loads the steps back into the ring. Rusev's kick to the face gets two more and it's back to the Accolade with Reigns on the steps with the chain in his mouth. Naturally Roman powers out of it into a Samoan drop onto the steps. Rusev stands up and gets speared off the steps for the pin at 24:31.
We look at Seth Rollins winning the triple threat on Monday.
Owens isn't impressed at Rollins beating him for three seconds out of a match that lasted about 600. Then he powerbombed Rollins onto the apron, just like he did to John Cena. Tonight Rollins wants to get inside a Cell to become Universal Champion to prove he's the man. That won't be happening because Owens is going to do in the Cell will make what we just saw look like a cakewalk. After the match tonight, it won't be clear what Rollins will be but Owens will be the man.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Rematch from a few weeks ago on Raw where Dana won, albeit with the ending looking a bit botched. Bayley gets in a few kicks to the ribs but Dana takes her into the corner to pull on the bad shoulder. Some knees to the should have Bayley in trouble, though I'm not sure why Dana keeps screaming before each knee drop. Dana loads up the ram into the post that won her the first match but gets blocked, only to have Bayley's bad arm draped across the top rope. A quick suplex from Bayley and a basement clothesline set up the middle rope elbow to the jaw. The Bayley to Belly gets the pin at 6:27.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon play Exposition Theater about Survivor Series when Chris Jericho comes in to ask why he's not on Team Raw. This leads into a discussion of Foley being put on the List for a third time, a trinity, a triumvirate or tres tiempos. Foley isn't intimidated by threats of getting IT (That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.) so Jericho gets back to the point: he and Kevin Owens should be the captains of Team Raw. Stephanie doesn't think so because Owens has a title defense to worry about.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows
Before the match, Enzo has a message for Andy and the Big Gal. Enzo: You are like Times New Roman font: as generic as it gets. Cass thinks Big Gal is a sloppy jalopy and he's going to go upside Luke's head like Big Papi. Enzo thinks that after tonight, he's going to have to start calling Cass Woody because he's going to have Andy all over the bottom of his boot (if I have to explain that reference to you......yeah I've got nothing).
Enzo cross bodies Anderson to start and it's already off to Cass for some shots in the corner. The bald guys are taken to the floor where Gallows clotheslines Enzo's head off to take over. It's a short form beating though as Enzo shoves Anderson off the top and hits his middle rope DDT. That means a hot tag off to Cass to clean house with Karl being sent out to the floor. The Empire Elbow gets two on Anderson but Cass misses the big boot. Enzo tags himself in for a high crossbody and the dancing jabs. Gallows comes right back with a superkick and the Magic Killer puts Enzo away at 6:45.
We recap Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins. Owens won the title a few months back in a fourway with Owens receiving a bit of help from HHH. Rollins then had the title won last month until the referee was taken out and Rollins' pin wasn't counted. Seth claimed conspiracy so the solution was to put them inside the Cell.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
This means the women are indeed main eventing tonight. Rollins is challenging and is coming in with a bad back thanks to a powerbomb on the apron to end Raw. That means more kinesio tape, which I'm convinced is some kind of product placement. Owens immediately goes for the weapons on the floor but gets chopped for his efforts.
Back inside and Rollins gets two off the Sling Blade before shouting that he's the man around here. Owens: Shut up. A Blockbuster gets two more and it's already table time. That takes too long though and the bad back is sent into the corner, setting up a backsplash to make things even worse.
Seth is sent into the cage and Owens rips off the tape, which Cole seems to think would hurt worse than the steel. Back in and Seth fires off more chops but Owens sends him through the ropes and face first into the cage. The slow beating continues as the Cannonball sends Seth back outside. That's fine with Owens as he hits a second Cannonball up against the cage but it's still too early for the Pop Up Powerbomb.
Instead they trade superkicks, followed by an enziguri to Owens and a BIG clothesline to Rollins as both guys drop. Owens is up first and grabs another table, which he puts on the apron and wedges into the Cell wall at an angle with the original table set up underneath it. Rollins is up with something like a Falcon's Arrow onto the apron, followed by back to back suicide dives to send Kevin into the steel.
Owens busts out a fire extinguisher but sprays the referee for some reason. The fans want Jericho and here he comes as the original referee is taken out, likely due to a bad case of being cold. Jericho locks himself inside along with a second referee and the key. Rollins knocks Chris into the cage but walks into the package side slam for two more. Fans: STUPID IDIOT!
The springboard knee to the face sets up the Pedigree but Jericho makes the save and takes it instead. Rollins powerbombs Owens (after muscling him up) through the double tables and the fans lose it. The frog splash looks to finish but Jericho pulls the referee out to keep things going. That's enough for Seth who powerbombs Jericho into the Cell, only to walk into the Pop Up Powerbomb for a very close two.
The Canadians start double teaming Rollins with Jericho handing the champ a chair to unload on Rollins' back. Jericho tries to bring in a second chair and the results are as expected with Seth taking it away and cleaning house. Kevin chairs Seth down again and sets up the two chairs for a big old powerbomb to retain the titles at 23:19.
Post match Jericho gives Rollins a Codebreaker.
Pre-show recap.
Cruiserweight Title: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins
Perkins is defending and Kendrick is getting desperate to keep his career going. They trade rollups to start until Kendrick charges into a hiptoss. A slingshot hilo sends Brian outside but it's too early for the Wrecking Ball dropkick. Kendrick tries to tie TJ to the ropes using the athletic tape but the champ is right back with another dropkick. A belly to back suplex looks to set up something off the top, only to have TJ dive into a dropkick for two.
The fireman's carry enziguri sets up the Wrecking Ball but a rollup is countered into the Captain's Hook. TJ grabs the rope and Brian does the same to escape the kneebar. Brian loads up Sliced Bread #2 but tweaks his knee. Of course he's gold bricking and, after waiting around for about a minute, TJ goes over to him and gets headbutted into the Captain's Hook to give Kendrick the title at 10:33.
Cesaro and Sheamus have a bonding moment and say they're ready to team together after hating each others guts. As expected, this turns into an argument, this time over rental cars.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
New Day is defending and say Cesaro is on the verge of some major endorsement deals, including shoes. This turns into a discussion of Kofi wearing Rob Gronkowski shoes to start a Patriots chant. Sheamus will get some deals of his own, but only on things like trashcans. The one thing you'll never see Sheamus around is these titles because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Sheamus clubs on Woods (odd to not have Kofi defending the titles) to start and it's off to Cesaro for some uppercuts. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus charges into some boots in the corner for the hot tag off to Big E. Woods dives onto Cesaro and Sheamus' Brogue Kick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two.
White Noise gets the same on Woods but Sheamus misses a charge and gets caught by the springboard elbow. Cesaro Swings Woods but Big E. remembers that he's in this match and makes the save. The Midnight Hour is broken up and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Cesaro by mistake. That's only good for two as well and the champs are sent outside.
Sheamus goes up top (Byron: Where is Sheamus going? Cole: To the top.) and dives onto all of New Day for a big crash. The legal Woods and Cesaro are thrown inside and Xavier gets caught in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Sheamus hits Big E. with the trombone and gets hit with Trouble in Paradise for the DQ at 10:23. As you might guess, Woods taps at the exact same time as the DQ.
Video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar for no other purpose but to extend the show because that needs to happen.
We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, which is culminating in the first ever women's pay per view main event and the first ever women's match inside the Cell.
Women's Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is challenging and comes out being carried on a throne. Sasha repeats her Takeover: Brooklyn entrance by being driven out in an Escalade and having four people escort her to the ring. We hit the Big Match Intros and then the Cell is lowered. Charlotte jumps the champ before the Cell reaches the ground so they can fight on the floor and extend the show even more.
The Cell is on the ground and Sasha loads up the announcers' table....but they both climb the wall. Charlotte drops down and hits a wicked powerbomb through the table. Sasha tries to get up but falls back down and EMTs are called. She's put on a stretcher and Charlotte is announced as the new champion but Sasha gets up and goes inside to start the match (At 10:52 because screw you if you have a job and need to get up early. If you're going to watch a WWE show, you better be committed.).
Sasha goes right at her to start but gets monkey flipped into the cage wall. A throw over the top sends Sasha's back into the apron but she pops back up for a baseball slide as Charlotte gets a chair. Back in and Charlotte chops her down in the corner but stops to set up the chair. That means she's going to go face first into the steel, only to have Charlotte drop her back first onto the chair.
They head outside with Sasha climbing the cage wall and hitting the double knees to the chest to put both women down again. Back in and Three Amigos set up a frog splash on Charlotte for the big near fall. There's the Bank Statement but Charlotte powers out and fires off a few kicks. Sasha is right back up to lay her on the corner for the double knees onto the chest onto a chair for a loud crash. Charlotte comes right back by pulling Banks to the floor and sending her face first into the steps.
For the third time tonight we have a table set up at ringside and Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron for a very weak bump. Thankfully they load up another table, which Charlotte pushes into Sasha's chest to drive her into the Cell again. The Figure Eight goes on but Sasha grabs a chair and blasts Charlotte for the break. Two backbreakers into a side slam get two on Sasha and Charlotte loads her onto the table for the moonsault. It's still too early for that though and Sasha crotches her on top, only to collapse when trying a running powerbomb. Natural Selection gives Charlotte the title back at 22:49.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Rusev Accolade
Bayley b. Dana Brooke Bayley to Belly
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass Magic Killer to Amore
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins Powerbomb through two chairs
Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins Captain's Hook
Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks Natural Selection
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Enzo Amore b. Karl Anderson Rollup
Cesaro and Sheamus b. New Day Brogue Kick to Big E.
Bo Dallas b. Curtis Axel Rollup
Golden Truth b. Shining Stars Flapjack into Little Jimmy to Epico
Rich Swann b. Brian Kendrick Oklahoma Roll
Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho Double rollup
Smackdown
Bray Wyatt b. Kane Pin after an RKO from Randy Orton
Hype Bros b. Ascension Hype Ryder to Viktor
Nikki Bella b. Natalya STF
Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Spirit Squad Gore to Kenny
AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when James Ellsworth interfered
NXT
DIY b. Hoho Lun/Tian Bing Superkick/running knee combination to Lun
Aliyah b. Billie Kay Rollup
Tye Dillinger b. Noah Potjes Tyebreaker
Asuka b. Thea Trinidad Fujiwara armbar
Kota Ibushi/TJ Perkins b. Mustafa Ali/Lince Dorado Kneebar to Ali
Impact Wrestling
Aron Rex/Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz/Ethan Carter III Revelator to Godderz
DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews b. Rockstar Spud/Decay ZDT to Spud
Laurel Van Ness b. Allie Curb stomp
Cody/Brandi Rhodes b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett/Mike Bennett Double submission
Hell in a Cell 2016
Roman Reigns b. Rusev Accolade
Bayley b. Dana Brooke Bayley to Belly
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass Magic Killer to Amore
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins Powerbomb through two chairs
Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins Captain's Hook
Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks Natural Selection
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 27, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
It's an interesting time in Impact Wrestling and that's excluding all of the court shenanigans going on at the moment. The big story at the moment is Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards over the TNA World Title but in addition to that we have the mixed feud between Cody and Brandi Rhodes vs. Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis-Bennett. Let's get to it.
We open at the Hardy Compound where Senor Benjamin and Vanguard 1 have prepared a corn maze. The humans go their separate ways and Jeff, wearing sunglasses, says he has lost his family and stops to eat corn, seemingly starving. Matt suddenly has a pre-mo-NEE-tion saying that an outsider will appear tonight and give them a bad message. As for now though, it's Trick or Delete.
Ethan Carter III/Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex/Eli Drake
This was set up during a brawl on Fact of Life last week. Aron works on Jesse's arm to start as it's the simple white and pink gear still looks pretty horrible. Jesse and Ethan alternate dropkicks for two on Rex but it's off to Drake for a breather. That lasts all of five seconds before it's back to Aron, who has to be saved from the Adonis Lock. A double flapjack plants Drake and we go to a commercial.
Back with Jesse fighting out of a chinlock but getting kneed in the ribs to put him right back down. The beating doesn't last long though as Jesse dives over for the hot tag to Carter but Rex takes him right down into the corner for some knees to the face. Drake adds in some shoulders and we're off to the second face in peril segment.
The Russian legsweep and wind-up elbow get two on Carter, who then has to fight out of Drake's chinlock. They trade sleepers and Carter falls into the corner for the tag to Jesse. An Angle Slam of all things sends Drake flying as everything breaks down again. Rex has something on his hand to rake over Jesse's face, followed by the Revelator for the pin at 15:18.
We look back at Maria attacking Brandi last week.
Maria is running her mouth when Brandi comes in, sending Maria scampering.
Grado has something planned for Halloween but won't say it on camera.
Some kids come up to House Hardy so Jeff sings the Obsolete Song and Matt tells them that they're soldiers in the Great War.
Rockstar Spud teases who he has for his Team X Gold teammates.
Here's Grado to say he's been having a great time in Impact Wrestling but wants more. That's why tonight he wants to bring out one of his inspirations: Robbie E! See, for Halloween, Grado wants to be a BroMan. He heads to the back and comes out in yellow trunks and covered in oil, which gives us the always awesome shocked Robbie face. A lot of dancing ensues but the TNA Wyatts appear and beat them down. Josh says they're called the DCC as two of them give Grado a spike piledriver.
Earlier today, Aiden O'Shea called Allie over to talk to Billy Corgan. Allie thinks she needs to stand up for herself so Corgan grants her a match with Laurel Van Ness for tonight.
DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay
This is Team X Gold and Decay are mystery partners. Sutter and company are now called Team Go For Broke and carry a Team X Gold flag, which seems to be the division's title. Sutter drops Abyss with a flying shoulder and catches Steve in a scoop powerslam. Mandrews comes in and his high levels of suck allows Steve to take over with some ripping at the face. Steve charges into a boot in the corner but Mandrews still can't dive over for the tag. The second attempt works and it's off to DJZ as everything breaks down. The ZDT takes care of Spud for the pin at 4:03.
Cody and Brandi call this personal.
Here are Lashley and Eddie Edwards for their contract signing. All contact has been banned and I'm sure that's going to hold up. Lashley thinks it's amusing that Eddie got to face Cody last week instead of the inevitable title loss right off the bat while he's been jumping through hoops.
Lashley gives Eddie a change to get out without signing but Eddie talks about Lashley ducking him and how the rematch is next week. Lashley did take Eddie lightly and he got lucky. This isn't a movie though and now the lucky guy has to pay. The champ says he's not backing down and signs but asks Lashley what happens if he loses next week. That's enough for Lashley and the table is turned over, only to have him sign in peace.
We recap Allie getting beaten down last week.
Laurel Van Ness hits on Sutter, who doesn't know what to think.
Back to House Hardy where we have the opening of the first Halloween movie (nice touch). The doorbell rings and it's.....the Hurricane, who has the door slammed in his face. Jeff leaves to put on his costume and comes back as that fast talking insane guy from the Great War, who I don't believe has a name.
Back from a break with Jeff, in costume, mowing the lawn into his logo.
Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie
Madison Rayne is on commentary again. Laurel drives her into the corner to start and shrugs off a clothesline. They head outside where Laurel misses a charge into the steps to give Allie a chance. Back in and Allie scores off a double leg takedown and some right hands, setting up a rollup for two. Not that it matters as a curb stomp ends Allie at 4:33.
Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump come up to House Hardy. Senor Benjamin tazes Trump and Jeff asks what happened to the e-mails. Matt: DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! Ok I chuckled on that one. Jeff shouts about Boo Radley and Vanguard I chases Hilary away.
Godderz comes up to Rex and demands a title shot, which Rex actually grants.
A kid comes up to House Hardy and gives Reby a tape, which is from the DCC. They're coming for the Hardys and their titles next week.
Mike Bennett and Maria say they have what Cody and Brandi want.
Video on Lashley vs. Edwards.
Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Cody/Brandi Rhodes
Maria starts and tags out in less than three seconds, meaning the men will really get this going. Cody sends Mike into the corner and Maria slaps him in the face, almost drawing Brandi over for the fight. A cutter gives Mike two and we take a break. Back with Cody fighting out of trouble and slamming Mike down.
Maria is smart enough to sneak around the ring and pull Brandi off the apron though, meaning Mike can get in a running corner clothesline. Mike allows Maria to get in a few cheap shots but she kicks her husband low by mistake. The tag brings in Brandi and it's time for the catfighting because neither of them are full time wrestlers.
The bad looking offense results in Maria being sent into another low blow on Mike, followed by some kind of choke/half nelson from Brandi (the camera keeps moving around so we never get a clear shot of it). Cody adds a modified reverse Figure Four (I believe Jamie Noble used to call it the Trailer Hitch) for a double submission at 11:20.
Cody and Brandi go to the back but Lashley jumps Cody, leaving Brandi to flail at his back. Lashley, in a weird camera shot where he's supposed to be looking at Cody but is looking at the camera, says no one comes into his house without his permission to end the show.
Results
Aron Rex/Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz/Ethan Carter III Revelator to Godderz
DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews b. Rockstar Spud/Decay ZDT to Spud
Laurel Van Ness b. Allie Curb stomp
Cody/Brandi Rhodes b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett/Mike Bennett Double submission
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2016
Date: October 30, 2016
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It's the annual scary show as we have three matches inside the Cell. In this case we've got Rusev challenging Roman Reigns for the US Title, Kevin Owens defending the Raw World Title against Seth Rollins and, possibly, a main event of Charlotte going after Sasha Banks' Women's Title. If that's true, it's the biggest match in the history of women's wrestling. Let's get to it.
Pre-Show: Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander/Sin Cara vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Rematch from Superstars. Cara and Nese start things off and Dorado looks so much like Cara that Mauro Ranallo gets them confused. A couple of backbreakers have Nese's partners in trouble as we get a Sin Cara chant. Cara moonsaults onto Daivari to set up a double tag to Dorado and Nese with the former cleaning house off a variety of kicks. A shooting star press gets two on Nese and everything breaks down. Nese throws Dorado onto Cara and Cedric to send us to a break.
Back (after that freaky Ziggler vs. Miz chicken ad) with Daivari kneeing Dorado in the face and the fans not going along with Nese's pleas for a DAIVARI chant. Nese trips Dorado and springboards into a Lionsault which barely grazes Lince but gets two anyway. The hot tag brings in Alexander to a very nice reaction. A triple dive takes the heels out and everything breaks down with a series of strikes and slams all around. Cedric stomps on Gulak and gives him the Lumbar Check for the pin at 9:37.
The opening video features the Ouija board theme before talking about the three main matches and all the violence that will ensue.
US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Cole says this is the 34th time the Cell has been lowered, which really doesn't have the same ring to it anymore. Reigns is defending and slugs away to start before heading outside for some failed rams into the cage. Rusev gets knocked off the apron and into the cage before being whipped into the cage. A kick to the head gets Rusev out of trouble and he takes Reigns back inside to start working on the arm.
Rusev misses a charge though and gets clotheslined in the corner, followed by a boot to the face. That just earns Reigns a whip into the steps before Rusev changes the pace a bit by hitting the champ in the face with the steps. They head back inside with Reigns slingshotting into a dropkick through the ropes to send Rusev into the cage again.
It's already time for a kendo stick and a table as the champ pounds away on Rusev's back. They head inside again and Rusev gets the cane away before tying Reigns up. Some hard shots to the chest have Reigns in trouble until a spear gets a quick near fall. The Superman Punch connects for two but the second spear is blocked by a loud superkick.
Rusev sends him face first into the steps (on the top rope) for two more and frustration is setting in. The Accolade goes on with Reigns' shoulders nearly being pulled out of socket. The champ gets out again so Rusev opts for a chain, which is quickly knocked out of his hands. We actually get dueling Rusev chants as he loads the steps back into the ring. Rusev's kick to the face gets two more and it's back to the Accolade with Reigns on the steps with the chain in his mouth. Naturally Roman powers out of it into a Samoan drop onto the steps. Rusev stands up and gets speared off the steps for the pin at 24:31.
We look at Seth Rollins winning the triple threat on Monday.
Owens isn't impressed at Rollins beating him for three seconds out of a match that lasted about 600. Then he powerbombed Rollins onto the apron, just like he did to John Cena. Tonight Rollins wants to get inside a Cell to become Universal Champion to prove he's the man. That won't be happening because Owens is going to do in the Cell will make what we just saw look like a cakewalk. After the match tonight, it won't be clear what Rollins will be but Owens will be the man.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Rematch from a few weeks ago on Raw where Dana won, albeit with the ending looking a bit botched. Bayley gets in a few kicks to the ribs but Dana takes her into the corner to pull on the bad shoulder. Some knees to the should have Bayley in trouble, though I'm not sure why Dana keeps screaming before each knee drop. Dana loads up the ram into the post that won her the first match but gets blocked, only to have Bayley's bad arm draped across the top rope. A quick suplex from Bayley and a basement clothesline set up the middle rope elbow to the jaw. The Bayley to Belly gets the pin at 6:27.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon play Exposition Theater about Survivor Series when Chris Jericho comes in to ask why he's not on Team Raw. This leads into a discussion of Foley being put on the List for a third time, a trinity, a triumvirate or tres tiempos. Foley isn't intimidated by threats of getting IT (That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.) so Jericho gets back to the point: he and Kevin Owens should be the captains of Team Raw. Stephanie doesn't think so because Owens has a title defense to worry about.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows
Before the match, Enzo has a message for Andy and the Big Gal. Enzo: You are like Times New Roman font: as generic as it gets. Cass thinks Big Gal is a sloppy jalopy and he's going to go upside Luke's head like Big Papi. Enzo thinks that after tonight, he's going to have to start calling Cass Woody because he's going to have Andy all over the bottom of his boot (if I have to explain that reference to you......yeah I've got nothing).
Enzo cross bodies Anderson to start and it's already off to Cass for some shots in the corner. The bald guys are taken to the floor where Gallows clotheslines Enzo's head off to take over. It's a short form beating though as Enzo shoves Anderson off the top and hits his middle rope DDT. That means a hot tag off to Cass to clean house with Karl being sent out to the floor. The Empire Elbow gets two on Anderson but Cass misses the big boot. Enzo tags himself in for a high crossbody and the dancing jabs. Gallows comes right back with a superkick and the Magic Killer puts Enzo away at 6:45.
We recap Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins. Owens won the title a few months back in a fourway with Owens receiving a bit of help from HHH. Rollins then had the title won last month until the referee was taken out and Rollins' pin wasn't counted. Seth claimed conspiracy so the solution was to put them inside the Cell.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
This means the women are indeed main eventing tonight. Rollins is challenging and is coming in with a bad back thanks to a powerbomb on the apron to end Raw. That means more kinesio tape, which I'm convinced is some kind of product placement. Owens immediately goes for the weapons on the floor but gets chopped for his efforts.
Back inside and Rollins gets two off the Sling Blade before shouting that he's the man around here. Owens: Shut up. A Blockbuster gets two more and it's already table time. That takes too long though and the bad back is sent into the corner, setting up a backsplash to make things even worse.
Seth is sent into the cage and Owens rips off the tape, which Cole seems to think would hurt worse than the steel. Back in and Seth fires off more chops but Owens sends him through the ropes and face first into the cage. The slow beating continues as the Cannonball sends Seth back outside. That's fine with Owens as he hits a second Cannonball up against the cage but it's still too early for the Pop Up Powerbomb.
Instead they trade superkicks, followed by an enziguri to Owens and a BIG clothesline to Rollins as both guys drop. Owens is up first and grabs another table, which he puts on the apron and wedges into the Cell wall at an angle with the original table set up underneath it. Rollins is up with something like a Falcon's Arrow onto the apron, followed by back to back suicide dives to send Kevin into the steel.
Owens busts out a fire extinguisher but sprays the referee for some reason. The fans want Jericho and here he comes as the original referee is taken out, likely due to a bad case of being cold. Jericho locks himself inside along with a second referee and the key. Rollins knocks Chris into the cage but walks into the package side slam for two more. Fans: STUPID IDIOT!
The springboard knee to the face sets up the Pedigree but Jericho makes the save and takes it instead. Rollins powerbombs Owens (after muscling him up) through the double tables and the fans lose it. The frog splash looks to finish but Jericho pulls the referee out to keep things going. That's enough for Seth who powerbombs Jericho into the Cell, only to walk into the Pop Up Powerbomb for a very close two.
The Canadians start double teaming Rollins with Jericho handing the champ a chair to unload on Rollins' back. Jericho tries to bring in a second chair and the results are as expected with Seth taking it away and cleaning house. Kevin chairs Seth down again and sets up the two chairs for a big old powerbomb to retain the titles at 23:19.
Post match Jericho gives Rollins a Codebreaker.
Pre-show recap.
Cruiserweight Title: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins
Perkins is defending and Kendrick is getting desperate to keep his career going. They trade rollups to start until Kendrick charges into a hiptoss. A slingshot hilo sends Brian outside but it's too early for the Wrecking Ball dropkick. Kendrick tries to tie TJ to the ropes using the athletic tape but the champ is right back with another dropkick. A belly to back suplex looks to set up something off the top, only to have TJ dive into a dropkick for two.
The fireman's carry enziguri sets up the Wrecking Ball but a rollup is countered into the Captain's Hook. TJ grabs the rope and Brian does the same to escape the kneebar. Brian loads up Sliced Bread #2 but tweaks his knee. Of course he's gold bricking and, after waiting around for about a minute, TJ goes over to him and gets headbutted into the Captain's Hook to give Kendrick the title at 10:33.
Cesaro and Sheamus have a bonding moment and say they're ready to team together after hating each others guts. As expected, this turns into an argument, this time over rental cars.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
New Day is defending and say Cesaro is on the verge of some major endorsement deals, including shoes. This turns into a discussion of Kofi wearing Rob Gronkowski shoes to start a Patriots chant. Sheamus will get some deals of his own, but only on things like trashcans. The one thing you'll never see Sheamus around is these titles because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Sheamus clubs on Woods (odd to not have Kofi defending the titles) to start and it's off to Cesaro for some uppercuts. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus charges into some boots in the corner for the hot tag off to Big E. Woods dives onto Cesaro and Sheamus' Brogue Kick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two.
White Noise gets the same on Woods but Sheamus misses a charge and gets caught by the springboard elbow. Cesaro Swings Woods but Big E. remembers that he's in this match and makes the save. The Midnight Hour is broken up and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Cesaro by mistake. That's only good for two as well and the champs are sent outside.
Sheamus goes up top (Byron: Where is Sheamus going? Cole: To the top.) and dives onto all of New Day for a big crash. The legal Woods and Cesaro are thrown inside and Xavier gets caught in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Sheamus hits Big E. with the trombone and gets hit with Trouble in Paradise for the DQ at 10:23. As you might guess, Woods taps at the exact same time as the DQ.
Video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar for no other purpose but to extend the show because that needs to happen.
We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, which is culminating in the first ever women's pay per view main event and the first ever women's match inside the Cell.
Women's Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is challenging and comes out being carried on a throne. Sasha repeats her Takeover: Brooklyn entrance by being driven out in an Escalade and having four people escort her to the ring. We hit the Big Match Intros and then the Cell is lowered. Charlotte jumps the champ before the Cell reaches the ground so they can fight on the floor and extend the show even more.
The Cell is on the ground and Sasha loads up the announcers' table....but they both climb the wall. Charlotte drops down and hits a wicked powerbomb through the table. Sasha tries to get up but falls back down and EMTs are called. She's put on a stretcher and Charlotte is announced as the new champion but Sasha gets up and goes inside to start the match (At 10:52 because screw you if you have a job and need to get up early. If you're going to watch a WWE show, you better be committed.).
Sasha goes right at her to start but gets monkey flipped into the cage wall. A throw over the top sends Sasha's back into the apron but she pops back up for a baseball slide as Charlotte gets a chair. Back in and Charlotte chops her down in the corner but stops to set up the chair. That means she's going to go face first into the steel, only to have Charlotte drop her back first onto the chair.
They head outside with Sasha climbing the cage wall and hitting the double knees to the chest to put both women down again. Back in and Three Amigos set up a frog splash on Charlotte for the big near fall. There's the Bank Statement but Charlotte powers out and fires off a few kicks. Sasha is right back up to lay her on the corner for the double knees onto the chest onto a chair for a loud crash. Charlotte comes right back by pulling Banks to the floor and sending her face first into the steps.
For the third time tonight we have a table set up at ringside and Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron for a very weak bump. Thankfully they load up another table, which Charlotte pushes into Sasha's chest to drive her into the Cell again. The Figure Eight goes on but Sasha grabs a chair and blasts Charlotte for the break. Two backbreakers into a side slam get two on Sasha and Charlotte loads her onto the table for the moonsault. It's still too early for that though and Sasha crotches her on top, only to collapse when trying a running powerbomb. Natural Selection gives Charlotte the title back at 22:49.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Rusev Accolade
Bayley b. Dana Brooke Bayley to Belly
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass Magic Killer to Amore
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins Powerbomb through two chairs
Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins Captain's Hook
Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks Natural Selection
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Enzo Amore b. Karl Anderson Rollup
Cesaro and Sheamus b. New Day Brogue Kick to Big E.
Bo Dallas b. Curtis Axel Rollup
Golden Truth b. Shining Stars Flapjack into Little Jimmy to Epico
Rich Swann b. Brian Kendrick Oklahoma Roll
Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho Double rollup
Smackdown
Bray Wyatt b. Kane Pin after an RKO from Randy Orton
Hype Bros b. Ascension Hype Ryder to Viktor
Nikki Bella b. Natalya STF
Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Spirit Squad Gore to Kenny
AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when James Ellsworth interfered
NXT
DIY b. Hoho Lun/Tian Bing Superkick/running knee combination to Lun
Aliyah b. Billie Kay Rollup
Tye Dillinger b. Noah Potjes Tyebreaker
Asuka b. Thea Trinidad Fujiwara armbar
Kota Ibushi/TJ Perkins b. Mustafa Ali/Lince Dorado Kneebar to Ali
Impact Wrestling
Aron Rex/Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz/Ethan Carter III Revelator to Godderz
DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews b. Rockstar Spud/Decay ZDT to Spud
Laurel Van Ness b. Allie Curb stomp
Cody/Brandi Rhodes b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett/Mike Bennett Double submission
Hell in a Cell 2016
Roman Reigns b. Rusev Accolade
Bayley b. Dana Brooke Bayley to Belly
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass Magic Killer to Amore
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins Powerbomb through two chairs
Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins Captain's Hook
Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks Natural Selection