klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's the go home show for the Cell and we have our double main event all set with Rollins vs. Ambrose in what should be the main event and the first ever rematch inside the Cell with Orton vs. Cena. Other than that there's some well built but not very interesting stuff, but I'm not sure how well it's going to hold up on Sunday. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's events setting up the pay per view.
The Cell is lowered to open the show and here's the Authority minus Stephanie. With the Cell hanging above the ring, HHH welcomes us to the show and promises us a special episode tonight. For our main event, we're seeing Kane/Orton/Rollins vs. Ambrose/Cena in a handicap street fight. Well at least there's a twist now. HHH goes into the traditional speech about how the Cell changes you, even though the violence being toned down makes those lines sound so stupid.
Rollins takes the mic and talks about how much he likes the Mr. Money in the Bank moniker, but a YOU SOLD OUT chant cuts him off. He emphasizes that he'll be beating Ambrose in the main event on Sunday, but Orton says the real main event will have people involved longer than a cup of coffee.
Orton promises to end the rivalry once and for all (didn't he already do that?), but HHH cuts him off as well, saying that it's a double main event. We're going to one up the Orton vs. Cena match because the winner is getting a World Title shot at some point in the future. Orton gets some cheap heat on the Kansas City Royals and we get Kane's corner pyro to end the speeches.
We recap Mizdown imitating Sheamus on Main Event and getting a Brogue Kick for his efforts.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Miz/Goldust/Stardust
Why do I bother watching Smackdown again? Miz vs. Sheamus for the title is official for Sunday. Miz swaps out for Mizdow to start so at least it's something different.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust
Miz jumps in on commentary as the Usos start in on Stardust. Jimmy nails a hard kick to the face for two and it's already off to Goldust. The heels take over on Jimmy in the corner and get him down to the mat with Stardust kicking him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Goldust slamming Jimmy down for two. Mizdow comes in and tries the running corner clothesline but runs into a boot to the face.
Stardust still won't let the hot tag and we look at Miz several times. Jimmy scores with a kick to the head and the double tag brings in Sheamus and Mizdow. The champ cleans house but Mizdow snaps his throat across the top to break up the ten forearms. Sheamus powerslams Mizdow but walks into the same from Goldust as everything breaks down. The Usos dive on Goldust, only to have Stardust dive on all of them. Sheamus throws Mizdow onto the pile and Brogue Kicks Stardust, allowing Mizdow to roll him up for the pin (with trunks) at 9:40. Miz: I WON!
Orton comes in and thanks HHH for the chance to face Lesnar so he can headline Wrestlemania again. HHH likes the idea but says Seth came up with making Orton vs. Cena for a title shot. Orton is confused but says he'll go thank Rollins.
Long Wyatt video talking about the Family being free and then Bray saying he'll never be free but She told him he'll never be alone. It's coming.
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title but AJ is defending against Paige on Sunday. Again. That will be their fifth singles match since the day after Wrestlemania. To put this in context, Lita and Trish fought each other twelve times in over six years. Fox runs her over to start but walks into a sunset flip for two. A big boot puts AJ down for two and the perfect northern lights suplex gets the same.
Fox plants her with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two more but she spends too much time posing, allowing AJ to start her comeback. AJ is now the One Girl Revolution because even she has to have a slogan. Alicia gets knocked to the floor....and rammed into the barricade by Paige. The champ yells at Paige, allowing Fox to roll her up for the pin at 4:16, because all titles other than the WWE Title mean absolutely nothing.
Orton comes in to see Rollins and Seth says don't worry about what he did, but Randy is still confused. Apparently it was just being a team player, but Orton tells him to mind his ownbusiness. Rollins talks about how Orton can beat Cena, win the title and then the future just takes care of itself. Did I mention he's holding the briefcase?
Here's Orton to the ring for a chat. He talks about being in the Cell (which has been hanging over the ring all night for a nice visual) with Cena before and how they've been rivals for twelve years now. Cena was the punk kid from Boston but Orton was third generation wrestling royalty. The fans cheer for Orton so he goes after the Royals again for an easy save. I know people are going to say it's cheap heat (even I did earlier), but that was a smart move as the fans are always going to boo someone going after their hometown team and it got them off the Orton train for a bit.
Orton talks about the great rivals of the years, such as Piper vs. Hogan, Hart vs. Michaels, Rock vs. Austin and now Orton vs. Cena. He beats John at the Rumble earlier this year and now he's going to do it again. Orton has never cared about hustle, loyalty and respect and he'll never fight for what is good.
This brings out Cena to tell Orton to shut up and call Orton a gifted moron. He rips on Orton for talking about the old times and sucks up to Kansas City (again, smart) as we start a baseball discussion. Being in the World Series and winning are two different things, just like Orton being in the match on Sunday. Cena wants to fight the Beast and he'll see him on Orton's face this Sunday.
Cue Heyman to call this rewritten history laughable. The class of 2002 featured Randy Orton, John Cena, and the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar. Brock won the title from the Rock at Summerslam 2002 and is still champion in 2014. Heyman looks up at the Cell and says these two will have the chance to define their legacies (what does that even mean anymore?), but his client has no equal.
The winner of the match on Sunday is the ultimate loser, because he has to face a beast. Heyman has always respected Orton and he may want the title back, but he wants no part of Lesnar. Cena on the other hand wants both the title and the Beast, which makes him a crazy man. John loads Heyman up for the AA but puts him down and takes the RKO. Heyman is pleased but takes the RKO as well to a mixed reaction.
We recap Rusev vs. Big Show from last week, resulting in Henry and Big Show surrounding the Russian for the KO Punch.
Rusev vs. Big E.
Remember when this was a big deal? They do the power lockup to start until Rusev takes him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. E. comes back with the Vader body attack to send Rusev to the floor, followed by the barricade. Back in and Rusev puts on a front facelock but Big E. powers up. We get an awkward looking sequence where Big E. didn't seem to be in the right place, capped off by a spinwheel kick to send us to a commercial. Back with E. charging into the kick to the face and the Accolade for the submission at 7:49. The part after the break was about 30 seconds long.
Lana calls Big Show a circus freak and loads up the Russian flag but it doesn't come down. Show pops up on screen and the American flag comes down instead. Rusev goes to pull it down but a fan wearing military gear comes in and gets kicked in the face.
Post break Big Show is in the ring with the flag still hanging and an angry look on his face. He finally says you never disrespect an American soldier. Rusev has his attention now because Big Show is an American giant and on Sunday, his fifteen minutes are up. He doesn't want to wait for Sunday though so Rusev can come out here right now. The Russians don't come so Show goes to find them. Good promo here that didn't get overly hammy.
Show goes to the back and asks a backstage worker where Rusev's room is. Apparently it's the door marked Rusev so Show kicks it in and finds a suit jacket and bags. Nothing to see here, literally.
Ambrose is eating popcorn and watching a movie when Cena comes in. John wants to know what's going on. Just watching See No Evil 2 starring Kane. They're going to be a team tonight even though they don't like each other. Ambrose compares it to Batman and Superman because Cena has a great American jaw. Now Dean may be undefeated in contract on a pole matches, but handicap street fights are his specialty. He's going to hit everything he can and take down as many as he can. Cena is cool with that but thinks Ambrose is more Joker than Batman. Dean: Why so serious?
Stephanie has won some award about Dwight Eisenhower.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
We're getting serious here: pale pink vs. hot pink. Brie sends her into the corner to start as Nikki is watching in the back. Summer gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Bella finally breaks it up with an armdrag after wasting a minute of our time. We get the basic face comeback and BRIE MODE! Summer avoids a middle rope dropkick, gets caught in a second attempt and the Bella Buster is good for the pin at 3:42, meaning we get to hear the most obnoxious song opening in years.
Here's Ambrose with a big bag over his shoulders. He sets a chair in the ring and looks up at the Cell, saying he's been dreaming about getting his hands on Rollins. This Sunday he gets the half hair dyed Power Rangers suit wearing sellout inside the Cell. Dean goes to the bag and pulls out....a Seth Rollins mannequin. He sits it in the chair and says that Rollins never liked getting his hands dirty, so the first thing he'll do in the Cell is rip off Seth's arms. That's exactly what he does to the mannequin before screwing it over just like Seth did to him, although Dean uses a screwdriver.
Then he hammers (using a hammer as you should be getting the idea by now) the point home and talks about what he saw (hand saw in this case) in a dream last night: him cutting Seth's testicles off inside the Cell. Oh wait. You already sold those to the Authority. He tongs Seth's crotch (You don't need to have kids anyway.) and DDTs it for good measure.
This brings out Seth and the new Stooges for a rebuttal. Seth calls the dummy an opponent that Dean can connect with on an intellectual level. Dean can never beat Ambrose, but maybe he can have a comedy career opening for Gallagher. Dean says let's give Seth a hand (which is exactly what he does) but Rollins stops to address the YOU SOLD OUT chants. He's a midwestern guy just like them but that's where the similarities end. None of the losers here will ever know what it's like to be Seth Rollins. Yeah he sold out the Shield but so what.
Dean busts out a power drill and wants to fight right now. Seth seems interested....and here's Mick Foley. He's here to visit an old friend and congratulate both guys on their success. His kids raved about seeing the Shield in action and he had to see them raise the bar. Foley isn't around much but he always watches Raw and Smackdown. He even subscribes to the WWE Network for an undisclosed monthly amount. Foley has pictured the match on Sunday and sees almost no way Ambrose can win.
Seth insults Foley's Santa Claus beard but Foley says he said Ambrose doesn't win in most ordinary scenarios. However, that Cell isn't an ordinary scenario. Yeah he's wearing a Santa Claus shirt and he has for 300 consecutive days now. It's one of the few things that he hasn't had ripped away from him and he still can hold it in his heart. The scars from the Cell are the ones inside you and he's lost so much because of it. He invites Rollins to look at his missing tooth and the fans offer Foley their thanks.
Dean says no one gets him but Mick Foley might come close. Ambrose is ready for the Cell but he doesn't think Rollins is quite there. Seth says both guys are out of their minds but winning has nothing to do with being crazy. He knows Ambrose better than everyone and Dean is out of his mind. He'll win on Sunday because he's just better than Dean could ever hope to be.
Foley quotes Nietzsche by saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. With all due respect though, Frederick Nietzsche was never thrown off a Cell! Foley doesn't think either guy is ready for life after the Cell, but just like everyone here in Kansas City, they're getting what they've wanted all their lives. Have a nice day. Rollins bails and gets hit with a mannequin. Good and long segment here with Ambrose being just different enough to keep things from getting boring.
Cesaro says he'll be a better Intercontinental Champion than Ziggler could ever be. Cesaro out. I kind of like that one.
Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title here before the title match on Sunday. Cesaro easily takes him down to start and gets two off a shoulder. We hit the chinlock as Cole talks about these two fighting on Twitter. JBL: Back in my day we fought over beer and chicks. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and a clothesline to put Cesaro on the floor. A big uppercut drops Dolph and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro countering a sunset flip into a gorilla press gutbuster for two. A middle rope ax handle and splash (from the middle of the ropes instead of the corner) get two more and we hit the chinlock. Dolph makes his comeback and counters a tiger bomb into a faceplant for two. Back up and Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and the pin at 9:28.
Cesaro Neutralizes him post match for good measure.
The Authority is arguing in the back until HHH comes in to yell at them. Kane is officially the captain for the street fight so he takes over the yelling at his partners.
MizdowTV is the pre-show special this month. Remember when it was a wrestling match?
Hell in a Cell by the numbers:
20 feet high
5 tons
½ mile of steel
10/5/1997 The first match
6 men in one match in 2000
6 victories by Undertaker and HHH
6 times Orton has been in the Cell
47:26 is the longest Cell match (HHH vs. HBK at Bad Blood 2003)
11 men who have won in the Cell
12 times Undertaker has been in the Cell
78,363 people who watched at Wrestlemania XXVIII
29 men who have entered
18 who have only done it once
2 matches this year
Same Wyatt video from earlier.
Dean Ambrose/John Cena vs. Authority
Handicap street fight. Cena has the serious black shorts on tonight. Huge brawl to start and we get the required let's follow the rules before realizing there are no rules period. Dean stomps on Seth's ribs and pulls at his hair before knocking Kane to the floor. They head outside and fight at the table with Cena cleaning house. Dean dives on the pile and makes things interesting with a chair. A few shots to the back put Seth down and it's already table time. Everything breaks down on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Rollins putting Dean in a chinlock before Randy draped him across the top rope. It's already back to Rollins as things settle down and get very unstreet fightish. Orton teases Dean by letting him crawl halfway across the ring before starting the Garvin Stomp. Dean fights back with right hands and a missile dropkick to put both guys down. There's the hot tag to Cena and Kane takes the AA.
Here's another table since the first one disappeared during the break. Rollins escapes the AA through the table and sends Cena head first into a chair in the corner. Kane and Orton send Dean into the steps as this is finally feeling like a street fight. Now the table is set up in the corner but Seth opts for a standing Sliced Bread #2 on Cena for two. Back to the floor with Cena going into the steps and then the post. Kane takes him back inside and sends him through the table in the corner.
The Cell comes down and Dean dives under just in time. The hot tag brings in Dean to dive on all three again. A dropkick puts Rollins into the cage and the Rebound Clothesline drops Orton. Dean finds a kendo stick to wear out Orton before throwing in another chair. A Cactus Jack elbow with the chair nails Orton again but Dean has to hit Kane with the chair. Orton and Rollins are sent to the floor and Randy looks frustrated. The suicide dive nails Rollins and everyone heads back inside for finishers, with Orton RKOing Dean for the pin at 18:28.
Rollins Curb Stomps Orton for a surprise before posing on the Cell to end the show.
Results
Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust b. Usos/Sheamus Rollup with a handful of trunks to Sheamus
Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee Rollup
Rusev b. Big E. Accolade
Brie Bella b. Summer Rae Bella Buster
Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler Swiss Death
Authority b. John Cena/Dean Ambrose RKO to Ambrose
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.96, up very slightly from last week.
Wednesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 22, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
We're closing in on the Lashley vs. Roode showdown with the champion seeming to have some issues with the rest of the Trio. Other than that we have the start of a tag team tournament for a shot at the titles at some point in the future. I kind of like TNA just doing the week to week TV stuff instead of building to meaningless PPVs for a change. It works for NXT most of the time so why not TNA too? Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley vs. Roode from a few weeks ago and then Bobby winning the four way last week to earn another shot.
The Wolves want the tournament to start so they can have some new opponents.
Matt Hardy comes out and introduces his partner for the tournament: Jeff Hardy. Well that was anti-climactic.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hardys vs. BroMans
Jesse/DJZ here. Matt and DJZ start things off as Tenay and Taz are already in their own world. The guys in the ring (as in the guys the show is actually supposed to be about) trade headlocks until Matt takes him down and slams DJZ's head into the mat over and over. Off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion to give Matt two. The Hardys go old school with the Spin Cycle (think both guys doing a half wheelbarrow suplex) but it's quickly off to Jesse to take over.
Jeff kicks him down with ease before it's back to Matt for a double belly to back. The BroMans are sent into each other but the distraction lets Jesse dropkick Matt down to take over. DJZ cranks on an armbar until Matt jawbreaks his way to freedom and tags in Jeff. The better Hardy cleans house with dropkicks and a gordbuster followed by the Whisper in the Wind. Jesse loads up a gorilla press but Matt tags himself in and it's Twist/Swanton for the pin at 6:19.
Here's Bram to address his surprise attack on D-Von last week. He loves hearing something being driven through a human's skin, just like when he drove Janice into Abyss. Bram is the new king of hardcore and D-Von is his target because he's called a hardcore legend. Whatever it takes, Bram will make sure everyone fears his name. This brings out D-Von and the beating is quickly on. Bram fights back and they head to the floor until security breaks it up in the ring. Angle comes out and makes a hardcore match between the two for later.
Brittany comes up to Samuel Shaw in the back and says she'd love it if he won tonight.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Low Ki/Samoa Joe vs. Samuel Shaw/Gunner
Joe sends Shaw into the corner and hammers away to start before nailing an enziguri for good measure. Off to Ki for a springboard kick to the face but Gunner nails him with a clothesline. Brittany comes down to be in Shaw's corner as Ki chops away at Gunner. The heels (kind of?) start double teaming Ki but Gunner tells Shaw to get rid of Brittany.
The distraction lets Ki avoid a middle rope dive, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Things speed up with Joe hammering away and getting two of his own off a running kick to the face. Brittany hooks Gunner's leg for no apparent reason, allowing Ki to kick him into the Clutch from Joe for the submission at 4:36.
Shaw stands next to Brittany but Gunner comes up to yell at her. Samuel nails him with a chair and goes evil again before kissing Brittany.
Ethan Carter III says he can feel it coming in the air tonight. He thinks a Tag Team Title reign with Tyrus would be a good buildup to his World Title win. Spud might be in the building tonight so why doesn't he find a friend to get in the ring with Ethan and his new friend? Because he's scared.
Lashley is asked about the title match with Roode but MVP cuts him off and says it's just another day at the office. King says he and MVP are in the tournament.
Rebel vs. Angelina Love
Love doesn't show up but here's Havok instead to destroy Rebel. Gail Kim charges out for the big brawl with the champion until security breaks it up.
Video on Roode vs. Lashley, which I believe is the same video that opened the show.
Angle thinks we'll raise the stakes in the contract signing later tonight.
Bram vs. D-Von
Hardcore. They start fighting on the floor before D-Von takes him inside for a release flapjack. It's already back on the floor with D-Von in full control and sending him into the barricade. There's a bottle of water to the head and Bram goes into steps for good measure. Back in and D-Von nails him in the head with a trashcan lid before hitting a one man Conchairto on the trashcan lid onto Bram's head.
Bram comes back with a trashcan lid shot of his own because apparently he's immune to concussions. He shouts that D-Von is nothing and gets a low blow for his efforts. D-Von loads up What's Up on the trashcan but Magnus comes out with a kendo stick shot for the save, allowing Bram to use the metal bar for the pin at 5:57.
Anderson and Melendez are in the tournament.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Kenny King/MVP vs. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson
MVP and King are quickly knocked out to the floor but we settle down to Anderson vs. King. Mr. grabs a headlock to take over but MVP trips him up from the floor, allowing King to kick him in the head for two. MVP taunts Melendez with a tag in the corner like a true heel should before hooking Anderson in an arm crank. A running boot to the side of the head gets two but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Melendez and King come in off the tags with Chris cleaning house as everything breaks down. In the melee, King rolls up Melendez with a handful of tights for the pin at 4:55.
Eric Young fires Spud up and they're in the tournament tonight.
The Wolves do a quick interview saying they're looking for the best competition. They go off in different directions and Davey runs into James Storm. James tells Davey how great he is and offers to show him the way. Manik comes in to explain the beauty of the Revolution.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Eric Young/Rockstar Spud
Young has to give Spud a pep talk to get him to the ring and there's no Rockstar at first. Carter laughs at Spud being a coward and even has a new response to the audience: You wish you could. He goes on a rant about how the villains win in this world and how the 99%ers here in the audience are all losers. That's enough to get Spud to the ring and we're ready to go.
Spud asks to get in the ring with Carter to start. After the staredown but no contact it's off to Tyrus but Spud won't tag out to Eric. Spud hammers away but gets caught by a punch to the chest. Spud's sleeper attempt is countered into a Big Ending and Tyrus throws him around with a t-bone suplex. Tyrus misses a charge but stays on Spud, knocking him down with a single shot.
Off to Carter for some slaps to the face but Spud comes back with a huge one of his own, allowing for the hot tag to Young. Eric cleans house and gets two off the elbow. Everyone heads outside for a huge dive from Young before Spud dives on both villains. Back in and a quick Tongan Death Grip slam from Tyrus gives Ethan the pin on Spud at 7:14.
We run down the card for next week
Here's Angle for the contract signing between Lashley and Roode. He has a bonus stipulation to make things more interesting next week, but first he asks if either guy has anything to say. Roode admits that Lashley was the better man last week but says that Lashley will be a marked man next week. Lashley has other priorities in MMA, but wrestling is all Roode has. Being champion is the only thing he wants and next week, he's fighting with a passion to put the title back around his waste.
MVP has built Lashley up very well, but next week Roode will prove that he's just a man. MVP cuts Bobby off and says Lashley can takes out anyone he faces because he's a destroyer. Angle cuts them off and says he'll be guest referee next week. That's not cool with MVP but Lashley signs, giving us a staredown to end the show.
Results
Hardys b. BroMans Swanton Bomb to Jesse
Samoa Joe/Low Ki b. Gunner/Samuel Shaw Koquina Clutch to Gunner
Bram b. D-Von Metal pole to the head
MVP/Kenny King b. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson Rollup with a handful of tights to Melendez
Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Rockstar Spud/Eric Young Tongan Death Grip Slam to Spud
Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's the go home show for the Cell and we have our double main event all set with Rollins vs. Ambrose in what should be the main event and the first ever rematch inside the Cell with Orton vs. Cena. Other than that there's some well built but not very interesting stuff, but I'm not sure how well it's going to hold up on Sunday. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's events setting up the pay per view.
The Cell is lowered to open the show and here's the Authority minus Stephanie. With the Cell hanging above the ring, HHH welcomes us to the show and promises us a special episode tonight. For our main event, we're seeing Kane/Orton/Rollins vs. Ambrose/Cena in a handicap street fight. Well at least there's a twist now. HHH goes into the traditional speech about how the Cell changes you, even though the violence being toned down makes those lines sound so stupid.
Rollins takes the mic and talks about how much he likes the Mr. Money in the Bank moniker, but a YOU SOLD OUT chant cuts him off. He emphasizes that he'll be beating Ambrose in the main event on Sunday, but Orton says the real main event will have people involved longer than a cup of coffee.
Orton promises to end the rivalry once and for all (didn't he already do that?), but HHH cuts him off as well, saying that it's a double main event. We're going to one up the Orton vs. Cena match because the winner is getting a World Title shot at some point in the future. Orton gets some cheap heat on the Kansas City Royals and we get Kane's corner pyro to end the speeches.
We recap Mizdown imitating Sheamus on Main Event and getting a Brogue Kick for his efforts.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Miz/Goldust/Stardust
Why do I bother watching Smackdown again? Miz vs. Sheamus for the title is official for Sunday. Miz swaps out for Mizdow to start so at least it's something different.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust
Miz jumps in on commentary as the Usos start in on Stardust. Jimmy nails a hard kick to the face for two and it's already off to Goldust. The heels take over on Jimmy in the corner and get him down to the mat with Stardust kicking him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Goldust slamming Jimmy down for two. Mizdow comes in and tries the running corner clothesline but runs into a boot to the face.
Stardust still won't let the hot tag and we look at Miz several times. Jimmy scores with a kick to the head and the double tag brings in Sheamus and Mizdow. The champ cleans house but Mizdow snaps his throat across the top to break up the ten forearms. Sheamus powerslams Mizdow but walks into the same from Goldust as everything breaks down. The Usos dive on Goldust, only to have Stardust dive on all of them. Sheamus throws Mizdow onto the pile and Brogue Kicks Stardust, allowing Mizdow to roll him up for the pin (with trunks) at 9:40. Miz: I WON!
Orton comes in and thanks HHH for the chance to face Lesnar so he can headline Wrestlemania again. HHH likes the idea but says Seth came up with making Orton vs. Cena for a title shot. Orton is confused but says he'll go thank Rollins.
Long Wyatt video talking about the Family being free and then Bray saying he'll never be free but She told him he'll never be alone. It's coming.
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title but AJ is defending against Paige on Sunday. Again. That will be their fifth singles match since the day after Wrestlemania. To put this in context, Lita and Trish fought each other twelve times in over six years. Fox runs her over to start but walks into a sunset flip for two. A big boot puts AJ down for two and the perfect northern lights suplex gets the same.
Fox plants her with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two more but she spends too much time posing, allowing AJ to start her comeback. AJ is now the One Girl Revolution because even she has to have a slogan. Alicia gets knocked to the floor....and rammed into the barricade by Paige. The champ yells at Paige, allowing Fox to roll her up for the pin at 4:16, because all titles other than the WWE Title mean absolutely nothing.
Orton comes in to see Rollins and Seth says don't worry about what he did, but Randy is still confused. Apparently it was just being a team player, but Orton tells him to mind his ownbusiness. Rollins talks about how Orton can beat Cena, win the title and then the future just takes care of itself. Did I mention he's holding the briefcase?
Here's Orton to the ring for a chat. He talks about being in the Cell (which has been hanging over the ring all night for a nice visual) with Cena before and how they've been rivals for twelve years now. Cena was the punk kid from Boston but Orton was third generation wrestling royalty. The fans cheer for Orton so he goes after the Royals again for an easy save. I know people are going to say it's cheap heat (even I did earlier), but that was a smart move as the fans are always going to boo someone going after their hometown team and it got them off the Orton train for a bit.
Orton talks about the great rivals of the years, such as Piper vs. Hogan, Hart vs. Michaels, Rock vs. Austin and now Orton vs. Cena. He beats John at the Rumble earlier this year and now he's going to do it again. Orton has never cared about hustle, loyalty and respect and he'll never fight for what is good.
This brings out Cena to tell Orton to shut up and call Orton a gifted moron. He rips on Orton for talking about the old times and sucks up to Kansas City (again, smart) as we start a baseball discussion. Being in the World Series and winning are two different things, just like Orton being in the match on Sunday. Cena wants to fight the Beast and he'll see him on Orton's face this Sunday.
Cue Heyman to call this rewritten history laughable. The class of 2002 featured Randy Orton, John Cena, and the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar. Brock won the title from the Rock at Summerslam 2002 and is still champion in 2014. Heyman looks up at the Cell and says these two will have the chance to define their legacies (what does that even mean anymore?), but his client has no equal.
The winner of the match on Sunday is the ultimate loser, because he has to face a beast. Heyman has always respected Orton and he may want the title back, but he wants no part of Lesnar. Cena on the other hand wants both the title and the Beast, which makes him a crazy man. John loads Heyman up for the AA but puts him down and takes the RKO. Heyman is pleased but takes the RKO as well to a mixed reaction.
We recap Rusev vs. Big Show from last week, resulting in Henry and Big Show surrounding the Russian for the KO Punch.
Rusev vs. Big E.
Remember when this was a big deal? They do the power lockup to start until Rusev takes him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. E. comes back with the Vader body attack to send Rusev to the floor, followed by the barricade. Back in and Rusev puts on a front facelock but Big E. powers up. We get an awkward looking sequence where Big E. didn't seem to be in the right place, capped off by a spinwheel kick to send us to a commercial. Back with E. charging into the kick to the face and the Accolade for the submission at 7:49. The part after the break was about 30 seconds long.
Lana calls Big Show a circus freak and loads up the Russian flag but it doesn't come down. Show pops up on screen and the American flag comes down instead. Rusev goes to pull it down but a fan wearing military gear comes in and gets kicked in the face.
Post break Big Show is in the ring with the flag still hanging and an angry look on his face. He finally says you never disrespect an American soldier. Rusev has his attention now because Big Show is an American giant and on Sunday, his fifteen minutes are up. He doesn't want to wait for Sunday though so Rusev can come out here right now. The Russians don't come so Show goes to find them. Good promo here that didn't get overly hammy.
Show goes to the back and asks a backstage worker where Rusev's room is. Apparently it's the door marked Rusev so Show kicks it in and finds a suit jacket and bags. Nothing to see here, literally.
Ambrose is eating popcorn and watching a movie when Cena comes in. John wants to know what's going on. Just watching See No Evil 2 starring Kane. They're going to be a team tonight even though they don't like each other. Ambrose compares it to Batman and Superman because Cena has a great American jaw. Now Dean may be undefeated in contract on a pole matches, but handicap street fights are his specialty. He's going to hit everything he can and take down as many as he can. Cena is cool with that but thinks Ambrose is more Joker than Batman. Dean: Why so serious?
Stephanie has won some award about Dwight Eisenhower.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
We're getting serious here: pale pink vs. hot pink. Brie sends her into the corner to start as Nikki is watching in the back. Summer gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Bella finally breaks it up with an armdrag after wasting a minute of our time. We get the basic face comeback and BRIE MODE! Summer avoids a middle rope dropkick, gets caught in a second attempt and the Bella Buster is good for the pin at 3:42, meaning we get to hear the most obnoxious song opening in years.
Here's Ambrose with a big bag over his shoulders. He sets a chair in the ring and looks up at the Cell, saying he's been dreaming about getting his hands on Rollins. This Sunday he gets the half hair dyed Power Rangers suit wearing sellout inside the Cell. Dean goes to the bag and pulls out....a Seth Rollins mannequin. He sits it in the chair and says that Rollins never liked getting his hands dirty, so the first thing he'll do in the Cell is rip off Seth's arms. That's exactly what he does to the mannequin before screwing it over just like Seth did to him, although Dean uses a screwdriver.
Then he hammers (using a hammer as you should be getting the idea by now) the point home and talks about what he saw (hand saw in this case) in a dream last night: him cutting Seth's testicles off inside the Cell. Oh wait. You already sold those to the Authority. He tongs Seth's crotch (You don't need to have kids anyway.) and DDTs it for good measure.
This brings out Seth and the new Stooges for a rebuttal. Seth calls the dummy an opponent that Dean can connect with on an intellectual level. Dean can never beat Ambrose, but maybe he can have a comedy career opening for Gallagher. Dean says let's give Seth a hand (which is exactly what he does) but Rollins stops to address the YOU SOLD OUT chants. He's a midwestern guy just like them but that's where the similarities end. None of the losers here will ever know what it's like to be Seth Rollins. Yeah he sold out the Shield but so what.
Dean busts out a power drill and wants to fight right now. Seth seems interested....and here's Mick Foley. He's here to visit an old friend and congratulate both guys on their success. His kids raved about seeing the Shield in action and he had to see them raise the bar. Foley isn't around much but he always watches Raw and Smackdown. He even subscribes to the WWE Network for an undisclosed monthly amount. Foley has pictured the match on Sunday and sees almost no way Ambrose can win.
Seth insults Foley's Santa Claus beard but Foley says he said Ambrose doesn't win in most ordinary scenarios. However, that Cell isn't an ordinary scenario. Yeah he's wearing a Santa Claus shirt and he has for 300 consecutive days now. It's one of the few things that he hasn't had ripped away from him and he still can hold it in his heart. The scars from the Cell are the ones inside you and he's lost so much because of it. He invites Rollins to look at his missing tooth and the fans offer Foley their thanks.
Dean says no one gets him but Mick Foley might come close. Ambrose is ready for the Cell but he doesn't think Rollins is quite there. Seth says both guys are out of their minds but winning has nothing to do with being crazy. He knows Ambrose better than everyone and Dean is out of his mind. He'll win on Sunday because he's just better than Dean could ever hope to be.
Foley quotes Nietzsche by saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. With all due respect though, Frederick Nietzsche was never thrown off a Cell! Foley doesn't think either guy is ready for life after the Cell, but just like everyone here in Kansas City, they're getting what they've wanted all their lives. Have a nice day. Rollins bails and gets hit with a mannequin. Good and long segment here with Ambrose being just different enough to keep things from getting boring.
Cesaro says he'll be a better Intercontinental Champion than Ziggler could ever be. Cesaro out. I kind of like that one.
Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title here before the title match on Sunday. Cesaro easily takes him down to start and gets two off a shoulder. We hit the chinlock as Cole talks about these two fighting on Twitter. JBL: Back in my day we fought over beer and chicks. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and a clothesline to put Cesaro on the floor. A big uppercut drops Dolph and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro countering a sunset flip into a gorilla press gutbuster for two. A middle rope ax handle and splash (from the middle of the ropes instead of the corner) get two more and we hit the chinlock. Dolph makes his comeback and counters a tiger bomb into a faceplant for two. Back up and Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and the pin at 9:28.
Cesaro Neutralizes him post match for good measure.
The Authority is arguing in the back until HHH comes in to yell at them. Kane is officially the captain for the street fight so he takes over the yelling at his partners.
MizdowTV is the pre-show special this month. Remember when it was a wrestling match?
Hell in a Cell by the numbers:
20 feet high
5 tons
½ mile of steel
10/5/1997 The first match
6 men in one match in 2000
6 victories by Undertaker and HHH
6 times Orton has been in the Cell
47:26 is the longest Cell match (HHH vs. HBK at Bad Blood 2003)
11 men who have won in the Cell
12 times Undertaker has been in the Cell
78,363 people who watched at Wrestlemania XXVIII
29 men who have entered
18 who have only done it once
2 matches this year
Same Wyatt video from earlier.
Dean Ambrose/John Cena vs. Authority
Handicap street fight. Cena has the serious black shorts on tonight. Huge brawl to start and we get the required let's follow the rules before realizing there are no rules period. Dean stomps on Seth's ribs and pulls at his hair before knocking Kane to the floor. They head outside and fight at the table with Cena cleaning house. Dean dives on the pile and makes things interesting with a chair. A few shots to the back put Seth down and it's already table time. Everything breaks down on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Rollins putting Dean in a chinlock before Randy draped him across the top rope. It's already back to Rollins as things settle down and get very unstreet fightish. Orton teases Dean by letting him crawl halfway across the ring before starting the Garvin Stomp. Dean fights back with right hands and a missile dropkick to put both guys down. There's the hot tag to Cena and Kane takes the AA.
Here's another table since the first one disappeared during the break. Rollins escapes the AA through the table and sends Cena head first into a chair in the corner. Kane and Orton send Dean into the steps as this is finally feeling like a street fight. Now the table is set up in the corner but Seth opts for a standing Sliced Bread #2 on Cena for two. Back to the floor with Cena going into the steps and then the post. Kane takes him back inside and sends him through the table in the corner.
The Cell comes down and Dean dives under just in time. The hot tag brings in Dean to dive on all three again. A dropkick puts Rollins into the cage and the Rebound Clothesline drops Orton. Dean finds a kendo stick to wear out Orton before throwing in another chair. A Cactus Jack elbow with the chair nails Orton again but Dean has to hit Kane with the chair. Orton and Rollins are sent to the floor and Randy looks frustrated. The suicide dive nails Rollins and everyone heads back inside for finishers, with Orton RKOing Dean for the pin at 18:28.
Rollins Curb Stomps Orton for a surprise before posing on the Cell to end the show.
Results
Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust b. Usos/Sheamus Rollup with a handful of trunks to Sheamus
Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee Rollup
Rusev b. Big E. Accolade
Brie Bella b. Summer Rae Bella Buster
Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler Swiss Death
Authority b. John Cena/Dean Ambrose RKO to Ambrose
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.96, up very slightly from last week.
Wednesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 22, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
We're closing in on the Lashley vs. Roode showdown with the champion seeming to have some issues with the rest of the Trio. Other than that we have the start of a tag team tournament for a shot at the titles at some point in the future. I kind of like TNA just doing the week to week TV stuff instead of building to meaningless PPVs for a change. It works for NXT most of the time so why not TNA too? Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley vs. Roode from a few weeks ago and then Bobby winning the four way last week to earn another shot.
The Wolves want the tournament to start so they can have some new opponents.
Matt Hardy comes out and introduces his partner for the tournament: Jeff Hardy. Well that was anti-climactic.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hardys vs. BroMans
Jesse/DJZ here. Matt and DJZ start things off as Tenay and Taz are already in their own world. The guys in the ring (as in the guys the show is actually supposed to be about) trade headlocks until Matt takes him down and slams DJZ's head into the mat over and over. Off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion to give Matt two. The Hardys go old school with the Spin Cycle (think both guys doing a half wheelbarrow suplex) but it's quickly off to Jesse to take over.
Jeff kicks him down with ease before it's back to Matt for a double belly to back. The BroMans are sent into each other but the distraction lets Jesse dropkick Matt down to take over. DJZ cranks on an armbar until Matt jawbreaks his way to freedom and tags in Jeff. The better Hardy cleans house with dropkicks and a gordbuster followed by the Whisper in the Wind. Jesse loads up a gorilla press but Matt tags himself in and it's Twist/Swanton for the pin at 6:19.
Here's Bram to address his surprise attack on D-Von last week. He loves hearing something being driven through a human's skin, just like when he drove Janice into Abyss. Bram is the new king of hardcore and D-Von is his target because he's called a hardcore legend. Whatever it takes, Bram will make sure everyone fears his name. This brings out D-Von and the beating is quickly on. Bram fights back and they head to the floor until security breaks it up in the ring. Angle comes out and makes a hardcore match between the two for later.
Brittany comes up to Samuel Shaw in the back and says she'd love it if he won tonight.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Low Ki/Samoa Joe vs. Samuel Shaw/Gunner
Joe sends Shaw into the corner and hammers away to start before nailing an enziguri for good measure. Off to Ki for a springboard kick to the face but Gunner nails him with a clothesline. Brittany comes down to be in Shaw's corner as Ki chops away at Gunner. The heels (kind of?) start double teaming Ki but Gunner tells Shaw to get rid of Brittany.
The distraction lets Ki avoid a middle rope dive, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Things speed up with Joe hammering away and getting two of his own off a running kick to the face. Brittany hooks Gunner's leg for no apparent reason, allowing Ki to kick him into the Clutch from Joe for the submission at 4:36.
Shaw stands next to Brittany but Gunner comes up to yell at her. Samuel nails him with a chair and goes evil again before kissing Brittany.
Ethan Carter III says he can feel it coming in the air tonight. He thinks a Tag Team Title reign with Tyrus would be a good buildup to his World Title win. Spud might be in the building tonight so why doesn't he find a friend to get in the ring with Ethan and his new friend? Because he's scared.
Lashley is asked about the title match with Roode but MVP cuts him off and says it's just another day at the office. King says he and MVP are in the tournament.
Rebel vs. Angelina Love
Love doesn't show up but here's Havok instead to destroy Rebel. Gail Kim charges out for the big brawl with the champion until security breaks it up.
Video on Roode vs. Lashley, which I believe is the same video that opened the show.
Angle thinks we'll raise the stakes in the contract signing later tonight.
Bram vs. D-Von
Hardcore. They start fighting on the floor before D-Von takes him inside for a release flapjack. It's already back on the floor with D-Von in full control and sending him into the barricade. There's a bottle of water to the head and Bram goes into steps for good measure. Back in and D-Von nails him in the head with a trashcan lid before hitting a one man Conchairto on the trashcan lid onto Bram's head.
Bram comes back with a trashcan lid shot of his own because apparently he's immune to concussions. He shouts that D-Von is nothing and gets a low blow for his efforts. D-Von loads up What's Up on the trashcan but Magnus comes out with a kendo stick shot for the save, allowing Bram to use the metal bar for the pin at 5:57.
Anderson and Melendez are in the tournament.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Kenny King/MVP vs. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson
MVP and King are quickly knocked out to the floor but we settle down to Anderson vs. King. Mr. grabs a headlock to take over but MVP trips him up from the floor, allowing King to kick him in the head for two. MVP taunts Melendez with a tag in the corner like a true heel should before hooking Anderson in an arm crank. A running boot to the side of the head gets two but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Melendez and King come in off the tags with Chris cleaning house as everything breaks down. In the melee, King rolls up Melendez with a handful of tights for the pin at 4:55.
Eric Young fires Spud up and they're in the tournament tonight.
The Wolves do a quick interview saying they're looking for the best competition. They go off in different directions and Davey runs into James Storm. James tells Davey how great he is and offers to show him the way. Manik comes in to explain the beauty of the Revolution.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Eric Young/Rockstar Spud
Young has to give Spud a pep talk to get him to the ring and there's no Rockstar at first. Carter laughs at Spud being a coward and even has a new response to the audience: You wish you could. He goes on a rant about how the villains win in this world and how the 99%ers here in the audience are all losers. That's enough to get Spud to the ring and we're ready to go.
Spud asks to get in the ring with Carter to start. After the staredown but no contact it's off to Tyrus but Spud won't tag out to Eric. Spud hammers away but gets caught by a punch to the chest. Spud's sleeper attempt is countered into a Big Ending and Tyrus throws him around with a t-bone suplex. Tyrus misses a charge but stays on Spud, knocking him down with a single shot.
Off to Carter for some slaps to the face but Spud comes back with a huge one of his own, allowing for the hot tag to Young. Eric cleans house and gets two off the elbow. Everyone heads outside for a huge dive from Young before Spud dives on both villains. Back in and a quick Tongan Death Grip slam from Tyrus gives Ethan the pin on Spud at 7:14.
We run down the card for next week
Here's Angle for the contract signing between Lashley and Roode. He has a bonus stipulation to make things more interesting next week, but first he asks if either guy has anything to say. Roode admits that Lashley was the better man last week but says that Lashley will be a marked man next week. Lashley has other priorities in MMA, but wrestling is all Roode has. Being champion is the only thing he wants and next week, he's fighting with a passion to put the title back around his waste.
MVP has built Lashley up very well, but next week Roode will prove that he's just a man. MVP cuts Bobby off and says Lashley can takes out anyone he faces because he's a destroyer. Angle cuts them off and says he'll be guest referee next week. That's not cool with MVP but Lashley signs, giving us a staredown to end the show.
Results
Hardys b. BroMans Swanton Bomb to Jesse
Samoa Joe/Low Ki b. Gunner/Samuel Shaw Koquina Clutch to Gunner
Bram b. D-Von Metal pole to the head
MVP/Kenny King b. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson Rollup with a handful of tights to Melendez
Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Rockstar Spud/Eric Young Tongan Death Grip Slam to Spud