klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a 1.4 with a record 2 million viewers. As always, my question is can they keep it up.
Smackdown
Date: October 21, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
It's the final night of shows in Mexico and it's also the final show before the PPV. I'm not really sure what else they're going to add to the show as I think they have six or seven matches on the card so far. That being said, we could use some more build for most of the matches, primarily because there were only three weeks of build for this show. Let's get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is 3 PPVs in 6 Sundays for WWE alone.
Here's Alberto to open the show. Naturally he's a huge face here in Mexico. Ah there's the commentary. Nothing had been said for over two minutes. I didn't know Cole had it in him. Tonight Alberto was supposed to face Big Show but due to Cena's attack on Monday, that can't happen. I wonder if the fans chuckle at being told that dinner is attacking people. He wanted to perform for his Mexico but he can't do that now. Alberto speaks some Spanish, talking about wanting to be the best Mexican ever and that's about it.
As he's leaving, here's Teddy to interrupt him. Alberto has been checked out by WWE doctors and they say all is well. Teddy thinks that Alberto is trying to get out of the match, so tonight Alberto will indeed face Big Show. Alberto says he'll make Show tap so Teddy asks the fans if they want to see the match. Uh...why?
As Teddy is leaving and Alberto is still in the ring, here's Henry. We go to a graphic for the mask vs. mask match tonight and there's no commentary still. I don't know what's going on with that. We get a clip of Henry hurting Morrison on Monday. The rest of the audio is fine so I don't know where the commentary is. I heard them earlier.
John Morrison vs. Mark Henry
Decent pop for Johnny. Morrison is shoved to the floor quickly and then has his head shoved against the post like a vice. The commentators don't seem to be doing anything. Back inside it's time for a neck crank and we take a break. Back with Morrison in mid-flight on Starship Pain for two. He tries a baseball slide through Henry's legs but gets stomped on. The Slam ends this at 2:05 shown of 5:15.
Christian and Vickie are in the back and Vickie talks about being friends with Johnny Ace. Vickie wants Christian to join her team. Teddy comes in and makes Christian vs. Sheamus at the PPV. Christian leaves so Teddy makes Dolph vs. Ryder for the US Title. That means Dolph is wrestling twice, which they point out. Ryder comes in with a catchphrase, making Vickie scream.
The announcers talk about Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara. Ok so they can talk. I guess the first match was just an error? They talk about the mask vs. mask match tonight and how it's a battle of the Sin Caras. We hear about how Black had his identity stolen by Blue and tonight it's about who the real Sin Cara is. Having this in Mexico is brilliant.
(I flipped on the regular airing on TV and the commentary was there for the first match. I guess it was just the version I was watching not working.)
Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
Commentary sounds fine now. We get a quick promo from Barrett, talking about how tonight will be the beginning of the Great Barrett Uprising and how he doesn't need to have anyone by his side anymore. Bryan isn't going to shave until Mania. That's some high level reporting there guys. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix a few seconds in. LeBell Lock is countered and there's a Boss Man Slam for two. NICE big boot puts Bryan on the floor.
Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Bryan gets back into things with a missile dropkick for two. Another big boot by Barrett gets two and it's off to a bow and arrow hold. A forearm puts Barrett down and Bryan does the, and I'm not making this up, Ultimate Warrior rope shake on his way up. Barrett takes him down again and hits the pumphandle slam for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into Wasteland for the pin at 5:11.
Sheamus/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian
As always it's cool to see the two feuds at once thing. Ryder vs. Ziggler to start but Christian comes in quickly. Ryder grabs a rollup for two and I'm already sick of him being called the Woo Woo Woo Kid. A dropkick gets two for Dolph. Off to Christian who gets a decent heel reaction. Cole is yelling at Booker about softballs or something. There's a double tag to Sheamus and Ziggler. Josh actually talks about it as he has to shout over his partners. Irish Curse gets two on the champ. Christian runs and the Zig Zag fails, allowing the Brogue Kick to end Ziggler at 3:58.
During the break, Christian speared Sheamus on the stage.
Here's Cody in the ring. We get a clip from a few weeks ago with Orton taking Cross Rhodes and being bagged. He talks about being infected by the Viper's blood and now let's talk about Dusty. Dusty told Cody that people are inherently evil and after years of Orton holding Rhodes down, he got his release a few weeks ago by bagging Randy. Rhodes says this time he's the one with everything going for him while Randy is just the same old guy with the same old tricks.
He calls out Orton and wants an admission from Randy, saying he was wrong about Cody. That brings out the Viper (I really hope some new fan isn't reading this stuff because all the names might get confusing) who says Cody has cost him the title twice. The injury from the ring bell will pale in comparison to what he has planned on Sunday. Randy wants a preview but the baggers distract Randy long enough for Cody to take over. Cody gets backdropped to the floor and a bagger gets the elevated DDT. Another bagger makes the save but gets his head stomped into the steps. The one that got the DDT takes an RKO as well.
Black Sin Cara has a Blue mask on and that's next. Seriously, that isn't the main event? From what I can find, it was taped last and aired at this time instead. That's pretty logical.
Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara
This is a regular mask but the loser has to unmask. To avoid confusion, I'll be calling them blue and black. Blue gets a BIG ovation and is clearly fired up to be here. There's a big Mistico chant to start things off. Cole explains the story which makes sense, although I don't think many people outside of America care. Black is sent to the floor and there's a big dive off the top to the floor.
Another one in the ring gets two. Blue tries to speed things up but messes up a springboard move, getting caught in the ribs by a dropkick instead. Black is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with a backbreake getting two on Blue. Black takes it to the mat and hooks the leg in a submission and then into a booed camel clutch. After some more time on the match, Blue fights back for just a few seconds before going back down again.
Black goes after the mask but Blue fights him off. Black hits a Jeff Hardy slingshot dropkick to Blue in the corner but a charge misses and both guys are down. Blue busts out some of his high flying stuff and I think we get an edit but I'm not sure. A pair of rollups get four which isn't three. Black hits a Samoan Drop for two. They go up and Blue snaps off a rana from the top for no cover. Blue hits the Swanton for only two. They hit the ropes and Blue busts out his old finishing move, La Mistica, to end this at 10:34 shown of 14:04.
Post match Black tries to leave but Blue beats him up and takes the mask to a big reaction.
Brodus Clay is still coming.
Beth and Natalya are in the ring and Beth talks about how much more dominant they are. We get some clips of the beatings on Kelly and that submission is called Pinup Strong. As for Eve...she's going to cut off their music because that's how it works in wrestling. She says the evil ones are ugly on the inside and she's not a Barbie Doll. They can't break her and they think Eve should cry. They shove each other a little and Beth might have fallen out of her top. This might be the weakest build I've ever seen.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
I wonder if the car angle will be brought up. Del Rio can't do anything to start as Show hammers away in the corner. Del Rio gets choked and sent to the floor but he clotheslines Show on the top rope...but then gets chopped down with ease as we take a break. Back with the champ kicking away at the leg but that fails too. Alberto manages to drive the steps into Show's knees to take over for what must have been a good 4 seconds.
A clothesline puts Del Rio down as this has been one sided the entire time so far. Show hooks what looks like a cobra clutch before dropping a leg for two. Alberto FINALLY wakes up and fires off a ton of kicks to a huge face reaction. They combine to get him a count of one before Show catches a kick and gets fired up again. The champ escapes the chokeslam and hits a chopblock.
There's the cross armbreaker but Show is facing the mat to take away a lot of the pressure. It's more like a LeBell Lock minus the crossface at this point. Show does the British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels short arm scissors counter to break it and is promptly booed. Show sets for the chokeslam but Ricardo jumps on him for the DQ at 8:40 shown of 12:10.
Mark Henry runs in post match and is DROPPED by the right hand from Big Show. He was on his feet in the ring for maybe a second and a half. Remember what I was saying about making your champion look weak?
Quick aside: if Show can knock someone out cold with a single punch, why would he do all that stuff like clubbing them in the back or trying to chokeslam them? Pop off one punch and win in like 12 seconds.
Results
Mark Henry b. John Morrison World's Strongest Slam
Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan Wasteland
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Christian/Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara La Mistica
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: October 21, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
We're into the second batch of tapings here so hopefully they can change up a few things this time. This is OVW's home base and I believe the third set of tapings will be held here as well. I'm really not wild on this show so far and I haven't seen many great reviews on it. I think the main event this week is the TV Title being defended. Let's get to it.
We open with a brief intro from the announcers.
TJ Perkins and Mike Mondo (Mikey from the Spirit Squad) talk about how they're excited to debut in Ring of Honor, even though Perkins has been around for years.
Mike Mondo vs. TJ Perkins
Mondo is doing the Crash Holly I'm a giant even though I'm small thing. They shake hands pre-match and we're ready to go. Mondo is a roided up mess. They go fast to start until Perkins grabs a Boston Crab but picks Mondo up by the arms to crank on him. We go into the Tree of Woe and Perkins hits a hesitation dropkick to send Mondo to the floor. Mondo takes over again and we enter into the always annoying forearm smash-a-thon.
Out to the floor again and Perkins hits his second suicide dive of the match. Springboard dropkick gets two for TJ. Perkins hooks half of a Figure Four but turns it over into a Scorpion Position. It looked more like a Cloverleaf/Sharpshooter hybrid than the Figure Four Deathlock name they gave it. After a few seconds Mondao remembers to sell the leg but then snaps off a Codebreaker because he was playing possum. Superkick is blocked but the second one hits and Perkins fires off some kicks. They hit the mat for some rollups and La Majistral pins Mondo at 7:15.
We get clips of last week with the All Night Express vs. the Briscoes and the announcement that neither is the #1 contender.
Here are the Briscoes to talk to Cornette. Next week there's another match between the two teams and the winners get the match at Final Battle which is the last show of the year. The Briscoes go insane and rant and rave as they're known to do. They shout Man Up and beat on each other a bit before hugging.
We hear from Haas and Benjamin about how they want the Briscoes. So why is the Express even an issue in this?
Truth Martini talks about the Roderick Strong/Eddie Edwards staredown last week. Strong makes an open challenge for Final Battle. Also he's going to beat up Richards' friend Kyle O'Reilly next week.
Richards talks about how he knows he can beat Strong and how he's worked so hard and is so tough and all that jazz.
We get a clip from Lethal winning the title from Generico like a month ago.
TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett
They fight over a lockup to start and Lethal controls with some dropkicks. Lethal misses a baseball slide and they slug it out on the floor. There are I presume plants in the crowd yelling about Kevin Steen. Bennett takes over as they're back in the ring at about 12. Oh I forgot to mention that in ROH there's a 20 count on the floor instead of 10. Lethal puts on a freaky submission hold as he has the legs locked like a Cloverleaf but is behind Bennett instead of sitting on top of him. The freaky part is he leans back like a surfboard. That looked sick although the surfboard part would seem to make the hold weaker.
Bennett's manager distracts Lethal and Bennett can hit a hot shot and clothesline to take over. Back with lethal running the ropes but getting caught by a corner clothesline and a neckbreaker for two. Powerslam gets two as it's all Bennett at this point. There's a 15 minute time limit here and they're over ten so far. Bennett hooks a front facelock for a bit to kill some time.
Lethal starts his comeback and we have three minutes left. That's about right actually so I can't complain there. It's better than the NWA show I've been watching which has times all over the place. Lethal looks to set for the elbow but Bennett gets up so they slug it out a bit. He tries a springboard something but jumps into a spinebuster for two by Bennett with 1:45 to go.
DDT by Lethal hits with a minute to go. He tries a leg lock but gets rolled up for two. Superkick hits and Lethal goes up. The elbow misses at 40 seconds and Bennett pounds away at 30 seconds. This is pretty stupid as he's wasted 15 seconds with just punches on his arms. Lethal rolls him over and punches away as well until the time runs out at 15:03 (close enough).
Lethal wants 5 more minutes but Bennett declines. Ok then.
Results
TJ Perkins b. Mike Mondo Majistral Cradle
Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett went to a time limit draw
Sunday
Vengeance 2011
Date: October 23, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
We're finally at the last PPV before Survivor Series and the end of the three PPVs in six Sunday run that happens every fall in WWE. The main events are nothing to write home about as we have a rematch with a gimmick on the Red side and a rematch from a few months ago on the Blue side. I still say this show doesn't need to exist but that's WWE for you. Let's get to it.
We open with a video about the three main events and the almost required Pulp Fiction vengeance upon thee lines.
Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Who exactly is Vickie wanting to be quiet? She's the only one talking. It's like she's being overly loud and annoying for the sake of getting on the fans' nerves. Air Boom has new music and their color of the night is red. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Now there's a rivalry. Dolph has tights that have so many colors in them that RVD would be jealous. There's red, white, blue, a darker red and what looks to be a flag pattern on it. Also it looks like a singlet with the straps down.
Kofi takes over to start and hammers on Dolph, getting two off a monkey flip that sent Dolph over so hard that he landed on his face. Bourne comes in and gets two. It's so weird to hear Bourne listed as 165lbs. Swagger comes in and gets rolled up for two before it's back to Kofi. He tries to go up but since AMERICA is better than Ghana, he catches him in a powerslam for two.
Sweet dropkick by Dolph puts Kofi down and we're told that immediately after this it's Ryder vs. Ziggler. That's very intriguing. I can't imagine Dolph leaves as a double champion. And there go Booker and Cole. To be fair we were a full twelve minutes into the show so you can't expect the two grown adults in their 40s to maintain their composure much longer than that.
Lawler makes really bad Vickie jokes as it's a hot tag to Bourne. He fires off his jumping strikes and gets a kick to Jack for two. The Shooting Star gets loaded up but Dolph makes the save and Evan lands on his feet. Now he fires off the Shooting Star but it eats knees. You could tell Jack was scared to death for that one. Dolph works on an armbar as the announcers debate who should have a talk show on the WWE Network. That thing is going to be a trainwreck.
Vader Bomb gets two for Swagger. The crowd is into this show so far. They've cut to Vickie about 8 times so far. Swagger goes after Kofi to break up a tag which gets him rolled up for two. Ankle lock is countered and Swagger is sent to the floor. Dolph goes old school heel to make sure the tag isn't seen, but Jack pulls Kofi off the apron anyway. Back to Ziggy and this match is getting some time. Nice to see the PPV getting the longer matches like it's supposed to.
A second Vader Bomb misses and Kofi comes in to clean house. He hits the big cross body for a VERY close two on Ziggler. Boom Drop hits the same guy which is a move I haven't seen in awhile. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in the ankle lock but Bourne comes in with the double knee to Jack to take them out. Dolph rolls up Kofi with tights for two but walks into the kick to set up the Shooting Star for the pin to retain at 13:30.
US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder
This starts almost immediately with Dolph barely back to his feet. Zack doesn't run straight at him but Dolph is barely moving. Ryder pounds him into the corner and Air Boom/Swagger/Vickie are still at ringside. Ryder gets a forearm for two and a whip into the corner gets the same. Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to get a breath of air. The fans are all behind Ryder.
Dolph is knocked to the floor so Air Boom throws him back inside. That gets them ejected and they're stunned by this. The fans are all over Vickie and have been all night. Flapjack gets two for Ryder. I'm glad they didn't have Ryder run out there and steal the title. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes to put both guys down. My goodness Ziggler is technically a Triple Crown winner.
Ziggler is in total control here. Naturally as soon as I say that he misses a splash. Naturally as soon as I say that he avoids the Broski Boot and hits a Fameasser for two. The fans are staying into this or are at least into the near falls. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and he has blonde hair now. Broski Boot hits but Vickie has the referee. Zig Zag is countered and down goes Swagger. Dolph fires off a superkick that totally missed but it's enough for the pin at 6:10.
Punk is talking to DiBiase of all people when HHH comes up. There's no rah rah speech but Punk wants to make it clear to Awesome Truth that it's an unsafe working environment now rather than what it was when HHH was in charge.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix
We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we're talking about Beth's underwear for some reason.
They fight over to the ropes...and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.
Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we're off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth's shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn't work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.
Big Show says he's back tonight and that better is better, not bigger. He says 3 seconds doesn't end 15 years of failure for Henry. The military thing doesn't really work for Big Show. Show gets in Striker's face and says he'll get Vengeance.
Ad for the Bret vs. Shawn DVD, which if my memory is correct, the Screwjob match is only on the Blu-Ray.
Christian vs. Sheamus
No recap here which is a nice time saver. Christian stalls before we get started. It's a brawl to start and Sheamus takes that easily. The Canadian is beaten down into the corner as Cole repeats a line from Lawler. Sheamus gets Christian in the ropes and pounds away. Booker calls them Irish Hand Grenades. Cole says it's called the Unreastra. It's an Irish thing of some sort.
Christian comes back with a neckbreaker and then a neckbreaker followed by a punch and then more punches. A mixed set of moves isn't his strong suit tonight. Cole lists off their resumes like JR lists off football stats back in the 80s. Hearing all of those title reigns for everyone makes them seem a little weak but whatever. Middle rope missile dropkick hits but the Swan Dive misses.
Cole says this is the second match trending worldwide on Twitter tonight. Yes boys and girls, stop watching the show and go look at Twitter instead! Sheamus hits a fallaway slam for two. Christian tries to charge at him but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block for two. A gorilla press is countered and Christian pops off a right hand and the reverse DDT for two.
High Cross is countered as is the pendulum kick. Is Sheamus channeling Scott Hall lately? With the fallaway slam and the Edge I think he is. Irish Curse is countered into a Killswitch attempt but Christian gets caught in another High Cross attempt. Christian gets out and hits two pendulum kicks but jumps into the Irish Curse for two. Spear counters the Brogue Kick but it only gets two because Christian has no business using the spear.
Sheamus goes up top as this is trending on Twitter too. WHY SHOULD WE FREAKING CARE ABOUT TWITTER??? The people hearing about this have already bought the show so why are you trying to sell it to us again? Sheamus gets caught in a hurricanrana off the top but kicks Christian's head off in another spear attempt for the pin at 9:37.
Otunga and Ace are chatting when Awesome Truth comes up. Otunga leaves and the tag team sucks up to Ace a bit. Ace: I think you could be the greatest tag team in the world. Awesome Truth: Really? Ace: No, but you guys suck up well. Ace leaves and they get in an argument about who is better at sucking. Then they say HHH and Punk suck. Is there a point to this? This goes on way too long and they say they don't like Texas.
We recap HHH/Punk vs. Awesome Truth with a video that I think aired on Smackdown. This eats up like 3 minutes and is about chaos that has been running wild on Raw since MITB. Good video though.
Awesome Truth vs. HHH/CM Punk
Miz vs. Punk to start us off. That goes nowhere so it's off to Truth vs. HHH. The Game is still COO, but he doesn't run Raw anymore. Ok then. Nothing at all in the first two and a half minutes. HHH takes over on Truth and the fans react big. Back to Punk who gets a chant and a falcon arrow for two. HEY! Two things are trending on Twitter that are related to WWE!
This has been going on over five minutes now and there is nothing to say. HHH and Punk even cheat like heels while Punk has Miz in an armbar. We talk about the immigration issue from Monday and it sounds like something that isn't going to mean anything in a few days but will probably be a big plot point soon enough. Awesome Truth takes over on Punk and there's a chinlock.
HHH has a little bit of a gut on him now. Off to Gutty McGame who cleans house and puts both guys on the floor with a double clothesline. Cole goes into a political rant about Republicans being on the fence to make fun of Booker and I have no idea what Booker's original point was. HHH gets beaten down for awhile now as Lawler and Booker try to debate heel philosophy. Booker apparently cursed during that as Lawler says younger children need earmuffs when he talks.
Booker tries to claim the credit for if you're not cheating, you're not trying. And in Texas of all places. HHH gets beaten down for a little while longer and Truth hooks on a figure four headlock. HHH stands up and hits an electric chair (why is it called that anyway) drop and then a DDT to set up the hot tag to Punk. Punk beats up Miz and stops to look at the camera in a creepy way. Truth breaks up the elbow but HHH stops Truth.
Macho Elbow hits and it's GTS time. Miz is enough of a main event guy to escape it though. We watch Truth vs. HHH on the floor and Nash is back. He drills HHH and puts him down. Back in the ring, Miz and Truth hit a combination jumping downward spiral and Finale, which is called the Little Jimmy Finale for the pin on Punk at 15:03.
Nash beats up HHH post match and Jackknifes him. That looked a bit botched.
Alberto comes up to talk to Ace in the back and rants about the last man standing match. Ace says it's an opportunity and Del Rio says he'll find a way to win.
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton
Non-title here. Randy takes over to start but Cody gets in a mask shot to take over. More Twitter things that are tweeting. There's even a graphic to say what's on there now. I give up. Cody throws on a Boston Crab which Randy eventually escapes with a kick to the face. Alabama Slam gets two for Rhodes. Cody busts out a moonsault but Randy moves. I guess he's channeling his inner Angle.
There's the powerslam but Cody blocks the DDT and goes up. That doesn't go so well as he jumps into a dropkick. Beautiful Disaster gets two for Rhodes. The DDT is countered again and Orton gets his backbreaker for two. That sweet over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two. They go up to the corner and Cody gets a headbutt with the mask to set up a moonsault press for two.
One of the baggers distracts Randy so that Cody can hook Cross Rhodes for two. He's shocked but welcome to the main event Cody: finishers mean jack. Now Rhodes loads up an RKO (yes that's correct) but Randy counters into the elevated DDT. The other bagger pops up but Cody is shoved into him. RKO and pin at 12:08.
Rock is at Survivor Series. Thank goodness.
We recap Show vs. Henry. Henry injured him, Henry won the title during Show's injury time, Show wants the title for revenge.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry
They fight over a lockup to start and Henry pushes him into the corner. Show gets to fire away at the ribs and the obvious question comes into play: why not use the big right hand that you know can knock Henry out cold? Show throws him back in and manages a superkick to put Henry on the floor. WE'RE TRENDING PEOPLE!!! WE'RE TRENDING!!! Henry tries to leave with the title but that goes nowhere.
A big slam hits Show to put him down and it's all champion now. Off to the leg now and Henry works on it by laying on it. You can't say he isn't practical. Show tries to slam Henry but the leg gives out. Back to the leg for more cranking which goes on for a few moments. They hit the ropes and collide to put both of them down. They slug it out from their knees. Even from his knees Show is still taller than the local luchador.
Show makes his comeback with punches and clotheslines. Into the corner and it's time for the power of fat to take over. That would be bald white fat instead of haired black fat. He loads up the chokeslam which hits clean but Henry kicks out at like 2.1. So is the punch his official finisher? The Punch is countered into the Slam for two. That would have been a horribly awkward ending if that had been it.
Hang onto your nachos with barbecue sauce: Mark Henry is going to the top rope. Show manages to throw him off with what is supposed to be a chokeslam and Henry kicks out again. Show is stunned and I can't say I blame him. The announcers didn't really react to the chokeslam that well either. Now Show is looking at the corner. Oh dear. Show goes up but Henry makes the save and keeps the planet's tides from changine. Henry hits a superplex and there goes the ring. Not as good of an explosion as Lesnar, but still pretty good. Both guys are down and the match is thrown out (I guess) at about 12 minutes.
They're still down so here are Long and Ace. What role does Ace have here at all? Henry is still down but Show is up on his knees. Show gets on the cart and is holding his neck. He's talking and cursing though. Henry actually falls out of the ring and is still trying to get up. He shoves the referees away and collapses. Henry stumbles up the ramp as he's selling this thing to death.
Ace gets on the mic and says the title match is still on. He slips up (intentionally) and says it's what he wants, not what the fans want.
We recap this feud, which can be summed up as Cena's rematch after losing the title in a triple threat in the Cell.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Last man standing. Cena has a new shirt that says Rise Above Hate. More anti-bullying stuff even though that fad/movement is pretty much over. He walks up to a fan at ringside wearing a We Hate Cena shirt and gives him a little smirk. The guy has no idea what to do so Cena throws his hat over near him and gets in. The guy in the shirt was stunned.
Rodriguez jumps Cena and gets the advantage for Del Rio. Cena is in camo shorts here instead of the usual jeans. They're actually in the broken ring. We talk about the ring collapsing and Jerry actually says Lesnar's name. They head out for some brawling and Cena takes over back inside. I'm not going to bother mentioning the counts because they're not going to come close until about ten minutes in.
Rodriguez has a big black eye. Belly to back puts Cena down and a second one puts him down again. Make it three of them. The ring is at a slant now. This really is a unique look. AA is countered into a Backstabber as Del Rio takes over again. He keeps going to the corners for some reason. Del Rio fires off some more suplexes but Cena counters and starts his finishing sequence. He looks for ropes for the Shuffle and has none in a funny bit.
AA is countered and the Mexican hits a German on the American. Cena hits a gutwrench suplex and they're both down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Cena down but Del Rio breaks it up. They have a good explanation for it though: why let Cena have a break when you know he's getting up? Alberto puts Cena under the ropes and part of a post so he can stomp on it, getting about seven and Del Rio charges into the AA.
That only gets about 8 and Ricardo comes in to break up another AA. Cena fires off move #19, a big boot, to take Ricardo down. Alberto uses the distraction to try the armbreaker but Del Rio grabs a rear naked choke which slips into a sleeper instead. The referee checks the arm because....because.....because he's not that smart. Cena is out and Del Rio has to be up to let the count begin, despite that not being a rule so far throughout the match.
Cena is up at like 7 and Del Rio is tossed into the barricade (no ropes remember) in a great looking crash. This is only the second time they've been out of the ring. Cena loads up the steps but goes into them according to Wrestling Law #2 (#1 is the table version). Rodriguez tries to cheat again but gets crotched on the post. Cena puts Alberto onto the post to teeter tot the post into Ricardo's balls. Ok that was clever.
More steps are set up but Cena goes into them head first this time. Lawler says the steps weigh 400 pounds. So in other words, Del Rio and Cena could lift about half a ton if they were trying. A step shot to Cena like the one he hit Del Rio with on Monday gets 8. They fight into the back which is where things get interesting. Del Rio goes onto what looks like a catering/drink table and Cena is all fired up.
There's a large anvil case (taller than Cena by about two feet) and far wider and Cena tries to drop it on Del Rio. He shoves it over but the champ moves. That would have killed him so that's a good thing. Del Rio slams Cena onto the case and I think he breaks it. Cena is up at seven but back down at 8. Del Rio drops a big metal thing onto Cena (part of the interview set) and then shoves another onto him. Cena is getting buried AND THE INTERNET REJOICES!!! There are like five of them on him and he's not moving. Jericho did this to Kane at Armageddon 2000.
Cena is like screw these five big metal objects on me and is up at 8. I love when wrestling just gets ridiculous like that. Rodriguez gets involved again and Cena is thrown through what looks like a cheap wooden V that the set is made of. He's not on his back so we can't count. Del Rio sets up a regular table (bigger pop than anything else in the match) and climbs up the set for no apparent reason. Cena pulls him down and he crashes through the table and Alberto is up at 9.
They fight over to the equipment stuff and then into the crowd. Ok they're back at ringside now and onto the announce table. Cena throws Alberto into the barricade and takes out Ricardo for about the 9th time for fun. Alberto tries the running enziguri against the post but misses, probably breaking his leg. Cena loads up the steps for the third time and I think it's Super AA time. You know, instead of letting the guy with a probably broken leg stay there.
Cena can be kind of a jerk in these matches you know? Yep it's Super AA time and the Spanish Announce Table (trademark) explodes. That looks to be in but Awesome Truth runs in to beat down Cena. The referee stops looking at Del Rio as Miz hits the Finale and Truth hits Little Jimmy (the 10th name for his finisher) to put Cena out. Del Rio is up and Cena STILL gets up at 9. This is downright comical. There's a belt shot and that's finally enough to beat Cena at 27:00.
Cena looks messed up in the eyes.
Results
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn't answer the ten count
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Mark Henry/Christian/Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton/Sheamus/John Morrison World's Strongest Slam to Morrison
Eve Torres b. Natalya Moonsault
CM Punk b. The Miz Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger Rough Ryder
Dolph Ziggler b. Mason Ryan via DQ when Ryan wouldn't stop beating Ziggler
John Cena/Jim Ross b. Michael Cole/Alberto Del Rio Ankle lock to Cole
NXT
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyler Reks Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Kaitlyn b. Maxine Full Nelson Leglock
Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson b. JTG/Derrick Bateman Clash of the Titus to Bateman
Impact Wrestling
Tara/Brooke Tessmacher b. Angelina Love/Winter Top rope crossbody to Winter
Abyss b. Gunner via countout
James Storm b. Kurt Angle Superkick
Smackdown
Mark Henry b. John Morrison World's Strongest Slam
Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan Wasteland
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Christian/Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara La Mistica
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Ring of Honor
TJ Perkins b. Mike Mondo Majistral Cradle
Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett went to a time limit draw
Vengeance 2011
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn't answer the ten count
Impact got a 1.4 with a record 2 million viewers. As always, my question is can they keep it up.
Smackdown
Date: October 21, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
It's the final night of shows in Mexico and it's also the final show before the PPV. I'm not really sure what else they're going to add to the show as I think they have six or seven matches on the card so far. That being said, we could use some more build for most of the matches, primarily because there were only three weeks of build for this show. Let's get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is 3 PPVs in 6 Sundays for WWE alone.
Here's Alberto to open the show. Naturally he's a huge face here in Mexico. Ah there's the commentary. Nothing had been said for over two minutes. I didn't know Cole had it in him. Tonight Alberto was supposed to face Big Show but due to Cena's attack on Monday, that can't happen. I wonder if the fans chuckle at being told that dinner is attacking people. He wanted to perform for his Mexico but he can't do that now. Alberto speaks some Spanish, talking about wanting to be the best Mexican ever and that's about it.
As he's leaving, here's Teddy to interrupt him. Alberto has been checked out by WWE doctors and they say all is well. Teddy thinks that Alberto is trying to get out of the match, so tonight Alberto will indeed face Big Show. Alberto says he'll make Show tap so Teddy asks the fans if they want to see the match. Uh...why?
As Teddy is leaving and Alberto is still in the ring, here's Henry. We go to a graphic for the mask vs. mask match tonight and there's no commentary still. I don't know what's going on with that. We get a clip of Henry hurting Morrison on Monday. The rest of the audio is fine so I don't know where the commentary is. I heard them earlier.
John Morrison vs. Mark Henry
Decent pop for Johnny. Morrison is shoved to the floor quickly and then has his head shoved against the post like a vice. The commentators don't seem to be doing anything. Back inside it's time for a neck crank and we take a break. Back with Morrison in mid-flight on Starship Pain for two. He tries a baseball slide through Henry's legs but gets stomped on. The Slam ends this at 2:05 shown of 5:15.
Christian and Vickie are in the back and Vickie talks about being friends with Johnny Ace. Vickie wants Christian to join her team. Teddy comes in and makes Christian vs. Sheamus at the PPV. Christian leaves so Teddy makes Dolph vs. Ryder for the US Title. That means Dolph is wrestling twice, which they point out. Ryder comes in with a catchphrase, making Vickie scream.
The announcers talk about Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara. Ok so they can talk. I guess the first match was just an error? They talk about the mask vs. mask match tonight and how it's a battle of the Sin Caras. We hear about how Black had his identity stolen by Blue and tonight it's about who the real Sin Cara is. Having this in Mexico is brilliant.
(I flipped on the regular airing on TV and the commentary was there for the first match. I guess it was just the version I was watching not working.)
Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
Commentary sounds fine now. We get a quick promo from Barrett, talking about how tonight will be the beginning of the Great Barrett Uprising and how he doesn't need to have anyone by his side anymore. Bryan isn't going to shave until Mania. That's some high level reporting there guys. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix a few seconds in. LeBell Lock is countered and there's a Boss Man Slam for two. NICE big boot puts Bryan on the floor.
Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Bryan gets back into things with a missile dropkick for two. Another big boot by Barrett gets two and it's off to a bow and arrow hold. A forearm puts Barrett down and Bryan does the, and I'm not making this up, Ultimate Warrior rope shake on his way up. Barrett takes him down again and hits the pumphandle slam for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into Wasteland for the pin at 5:11.
Sheamus/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian
As always it's cool to see the two feuds at once thing. Ryder vs. Ziggler to start but Christian comes in quickly. Ryder grabs a rollup for two and I'm already sick of him being called the Woo Woo Woo Kid. A dropkick gets two for Dolph. Off to Christian who gets a decent heel reaction. Cole is yelling at Booker about softballs or something. There's a double tag to Sheamus and Ziggler. Josh actually talks about it as he has to shout over his partners. Irish Curse gets two on the champ. Christian runs and the Zig Zag fails, allowing the Brogue Kick to end Ziggler at 3:58.
During the break, Christian speared Sheamus on the stage.
Here's Cody in the ring. We get a clip from a few weeks ago with Orton taking Cross Rhodes and being bagged. He talks about being infected by the Viper's blood and now let's talk about Dusty. Dusty told Cody that people are inherently evil and after years of Orton holding Rhodes down, he got his release a few weeks ago by bagging Randy. Rhodes says this time he's the one with everything going for him while Randy is just the same old guy with the same old tricks.
He calls out Orton and wants an admission from Randy, saying he was wrong about Cody. That brings out the Viper (I really hope some new fan isn't reading this stuff because all the names might get confusing) who says Cody has cost him the title twice. The injury from the ring bell will pale in comparison to what he has planned on Sunday. Randy wants a preview but the baggers distract Randy long enough for Cody to take over. Cody gets backdropped to the floor and a bagger gets the elevated DDT. Another bagger makes the save but gets his head stomped into the steps. The one that got the DDT takes an RKO as well.
Black Sin Cara has a Blue mask on and that's next. Seriously, that isn't the main event? From what I can find, it was taped last and aired at this time instead. That's pretty logical.
Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara
This is a regular mask but the loser has to unmask. To avoid confusion, I'll be calling them blue and black. Blue gets a BIG ovation and is clearly fired up to be here. There's a big Mistico chant to start things off. Cole explains the story which makes sense, although I don't think many people outside of America care. Black is sent to the floor and there's a big dive off the top to the floor.
Another one in the ring gets two. Blue tries to speed things up but messes up a springboard move, getting caught in the ribs by a dropkick instead. Black is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with a backbreake getting two on Blue. Black takes it to the mat and hooks the leg in a submission and then into a booed camel clutch. After some more time on the match, Blue fights back for just a few seconds before going back down again.
Black goes after the mask but Blue fights him off. Black hits a Jeff Hardy slingshot dropkick to Blue in the corner but a charge misses and both guys are down. Blue busts out some of his high flying stuff and I think we get an edit but I'm not sure. A pair of rollups get four which isn't three. Black hits a Samoan Drop for two. They go up and Blue snaps off a rana from the top for no cover. Blue hits the Swanton for only two. They hit the ropes and Blue busts out his old finishing move, La Mistica, to end this at 10:34 shown of 14:04.
Post match Black tries to leave but Blue beats him up and takes the mask to a big reaction.
Brodus Clay is still coming.
Beth and Natalya are in the ring and Beth talks about how much more dominant they are. We get some clips of the beatings on Kelly and that submission is called Pinup Strong. As for Eve...she's going to cut off their music because that's how it works in wrestling. She says the evil ones are ugly on the inside and she's not a Barbie Doll. They can't break her and they think Eve should cry. They shove each other a little and Beth might have fallen out of her top. This might be the weakest build I've ever seen.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
I wonder if the car angle will be brought up. Del Rio can't do anything to start as Show hammers away in the corner. Del Rio gets choked and sent to the floor but he clotheslines Show on the top rope...but then gets chopped down with ease as we take a break. Back with the champ kicking away at the leg but that fails too. Alberto manages to drive the steps into Show's knees to take over for what must have been a good 4 seconds.
A clothesline puts Del Rio down as this has been one sided the entire time so far. Show hooks what looks like a cobra clutch before dropping a leg for two. Alberto FINALLY wakes up and fires off a ton of kicks to a huge face reaction. They combine to get him a count of one before Show catches a kick and gets fired up again. The champ escapes the chokeslam and hits a chopblock.
There's the cross armbreaker but Show is facing the mat to take away a lot of the pressure. It's more like a LeBell Lock minus the crossface at this point. Show does the British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels short arm scissors counter to break it and is promptly booed. Show sets for the chokeslam but Ricardo jumps on him for the DQ at 8:40 shown of 12:10.
Mark Henry runs in post match and is DROPPED by the right hand from Big Show. He was on his feet in the ring for maybe a second and a half. Remember what I was saying about making your champion look weak?
Quick aside: if Show can knock someone out cold with a single punch, why would he do all that stuff like clubbing them in the back or trying to chokeslam them? Pop off one punch and win in like 12 seconds.
Results
Mark Henry b. John Morrison World's Strongest Slam
Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan Wasteland
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Christian/Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara La Mistica
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: October 21, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
We're into the second batch of tapings here so hopefully they can change up a few things this time. This is OVW's home base and I believe the third set of tapings will be held here as well. I'm really not wild on this show so far and I haven't seen many great reviews on it. I think the main event this week is the TV Title being defended. Let's get to it.
We open with a brief intro from the announcers.
TJ Perkins and Mike Mondo (Mikey from the Spirit Squad) talk about how they're excited to debut in Ring of Honor, even though Perkins has been around for years.
Mike Mondo vs. TJ Perkins
Mondo is doing the Crash Holly I'm a giant even though I'm small thing. They shake hands pre-match and we're ready to go. Mondo is a roided up mess. They go fast to start until Perkins grabs a Boston Crab but picks Mondo up by the arms to crank on him. We go into the Tree of Woe and Perkins hits a hesitation dropkick to send Mondo to the floor. Mondo takes over again and we enter into the always annoying forearm smash-a-thon.
Out to the floor again and Perkins hits his second suicide dive of the match. Springboard dropkick gets two for TJ. Perkins hooks half of a Figure Four but turns it over into a Scorpion Position. It looked more like a Cloverleaf/Sharpshooter hybrid than the Figure Four Deathlock name they gave it. After a few seconds Mondao remembers to sell the leg but then snaps off a Codebreaker because he was playing possum. Superkick is blocked but the second one hits and Perkins fires off some kicks. They hit the mat for some rollups and La Majistral pins Mondo at 7:15.
We get clips of last week with the All Night Express vs. the Briscoes and the announcement that neither is the #1 contender.
Here are the Briscoes to talk to Cornette. Next week there's another match between the two teams and the winners get the match at Final Battle which is the last show of the year. The Briscoes go insane and rant and rave as they're known to do. They shout Man Up and beat on each other a bit before hugging.
We hear from Haas and Benjamin about how they want the Briscoes. So why is the Express even an issue in this?
Truth Martini talks about the Roderick Strong/Eddie Edwards staredown last week. Strong makes an open challenge for Final Battle. Also he's going to beat up Richards' friend Kyle O'Reilly next week.
Richards talks about how he knows he can beat Strong and how he's worked so hard and is so tough and all that jazz.
We get a clip from Lethal winning the title from Generico like a month ago.
TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett
They fight over a lockup to start and Lethal controls with some dropkicks. Lethal misses a baseball slide and they slug it out on the floor. There are I presume plants in the crowd yelling about Kevin Steen. Bennett takes over as they're back in the ring at about 12. Oh I forgot to mention that in ROH there's a 20 count on the floor instead of 10. Lethal puts on a freaky submission hold as he has the legs locked like a Cloverleaf but is behind Bennett instead of sitting on top of him. The freaky part is he leans back like a surfboard. That looked sick although the surfboard part would seem to make the hold weaker.
Bennett's manager distracts Lethal and Bennett can hit a hot shot and clothesline to take over. Back with lethal running the ropes but getting caught by a corner clothesline and a neckbreaker for two. Powerslam gets two as it's all Bennett at this point. There's a 15 minute time limit here and they're over ten so far. Bennett hooks a front facelock for a bit to kill some time.
Lethal starts his comeback and we have three minutes left. That's about right actually so I can't complain there. It's better than the NWA show I've been watching which has times all over the place. Lethal looks to set for the elbow but Bennett gets up so they slug it out a bit. He tries a springboard something but jumps into a spinebuster for two by Bennett with 1:45 to go.
DDT by Lethal hits with a minute to go. He tries a leg lock but gets rolled up for two. Superkick hits and Lethal goes up. The elbow misses at 40 seconds and Bennett pounds away at 30 seconds. This is pretty stupid as he's wasted 15 seconds with just punches on his arms. Lethal rolls him over and punches away as well until the time runs out at 15:03 (close enough).
Lethal wants 5 more minutes but Bennett declines. Ok then.
Results
TJ Perkins b. Mike Mondo Majistral Cradle
Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett went to a time limit draw
Sunday
Vengeance 2011
Date: October 23, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
We're finally at the last PPV before Survivor Series and the end of the three PPVs in six Sunday run that happens every fall in WWE. The main events are nothing to write home about as we have a rematch with a gimmick on the Red side and a rematch from a few months ago on the Blue side. I still say this show doesn't need to exist but that's WWE for you. Let's get to it.
We open with a video about the three main events and the almost required Pulp Fiction vengeance upon thee lines.
Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Who exactly is Vickie wanting to be quiet? She's the only one talking. It's like she's being overly loud and annoying for the sake of getting on the fans' nerves. Air Boom has new music and their color of the night is red. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Now there's a rivalry. Dolph has tights that have so many colors in them that RVD would be jealous. There's red, white, blue, a darker red and what looks to be a flag pattern on it. Also it looks like a singlet with the straps down.
Kofi takes over to start and hammers on Dolph, getting two off a monkey flip that sent Dolph over so hard that he landed on his face. Bourne comes in and gets two. It's so weird to hear Bourne listed as 165lbs. Swagger comes in and gets rolled up for two before it's back to Kofi. He tries to go up but since AMERICA is better than Ghana, he catches him in a powerslam for two.
Sweet dropkick by Dolph puts Kofi down and we're told that immediately after this it's Ryder vs. Ziggler. That's very intriguing. I can't imagine Dolph leaves as a double champion. And there go Booker and Cole. To be fair we were a full twelve minutes into the show so you can't expect the two grown adults in their 40s to maintain their composure much longer than that.
Lawler makes really bad Vickie jokes as it's a hot tag to Bourne. He fires off his jumping strikes and gets a kick to Jack for two. The Shooting Star gets loaded up but Dolph makes the save and Evan lands on his feet. Now he fires off the Shooting Star but it eats knees. You could tell Jack was scared to death for that one. Dolph works on an armbar as the announcers debate who should have a talk show on the WWE Network. That thing is going to be a trainwreck.
Vader Bomb gets two for Swagger. The crowd is into this show so far. They've cut to Vickie about 8 times so far. Swagger goes after Kofi to break up a tag which gets him rolled up for two. Ankle lock is countered and Swagger is sent to the floor. Dolph goes old school heel to make sure the tag isn't seen, but Jack pulls Kofi off the apron anyway. Back to Ziggy and this match is getting some time. Nice to see the PPV getting the longer matches like it's supposed to.
A second Vader Bomb misses and Kofi comes in to clean house. He hits the big cross body for a VERY close two on Ziggler. Boom Drop hits the same guy which is a move I haven't seen in awhile. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in the ankle lock but Bourne comes in with the double knee to Jack to take them out. Dolph rolls up Kofi with tights for two but walks into the kick to set up the Shooting Star for the pin to retain at 13:30.
US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder
This starts almost immediately with Dolph barely back to his feet. Zack doesn't run straight at him but Dolph is barely moving. Ryder pounds him into the corner and Air Boom/Swagger/Vickie are still at ringside. Ryder gets a forearm for two and a whip into the corner gets the same. Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to get a breath of air. The fans are all behind Ryder.
Dolph is knocked to the floor so Air Boom throws him back inside. That gets them ejected and they're stunned by this. The fans are all over Vickie and have been all night. Flapjack gets two for Ryder. I'm glad they didn't have Ryder run out there and steal the title. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes to put both guys down. My goodness Ziggler is technically a Triple Crown winner.
Ziggler is in total control here. Naturally as soon as I say that he misses a splash. Naturally as soon as I say that he avoids the Broski Boot and hits a Fameasser for two. The fans are staying into this or are at least into the near falls. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and he has blonde hair now. Broski Boot hits but Vickie has the referee. Zig Zag is countered and down goes Swagger. Dolph fires off a superkick that totally missed but it's enough for the pin at 6:10.
Punk is talking to DiBiase of all people when HHH comes up. There's no rah rah speech but Punk wants to make it clear to Awesome Truth that it's an unsafe working environment now rather than what it was when HHH was in charge.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix
We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we're talking about Beth's underwear for some reason.
They fight over to the ropes...and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.
Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we're off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth's shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn't work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.
Big Show says he's back tonight and that better is better, not bigger. He says 3 seconds doesn't end 15 years of failure for Henry. The military thing doesn't really work for Big Show. Show gets in Striker's face and says he'll get Vengeance.
Ad for the Bret vs. Shawn DVD, which if my memory is correct, the Screwjob match is only on the Blu-Ray.
Christian vs. Sheamus
No recap here which is a nice time saver. Christian stalls before we get started. It's a brawl to start and Sheamus takes that easily. The Canadian is beaten down into the corner as Cole repeats a line from Lawler. Sheamus gets Christian in the ropes and pounds away. Booker calls them Irish Hand Grenades. Cole says it's called the Unreastra. It's an Irish thing of some sort.
Christian comes back with a neckbreaker and then a neckbreaker followed by a punch and then more punches. A mixed set of moves isn't his strong suit tonight. Cole lists off their resumes like JR lists off football stats back in the 80s. Hearing all of those title reigns for everyone makes them seem a little weak but whatever. Middle rope missile dropkick hits but the Swan Dive misses.
Cole says this is the second match trending worldwide on Twitter tonight. Yes boys and girls, stop watching the show and go look at Twitter instead! Sheamus hits a fallaway slam for two. Christian tries to charge at him but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block for two. A gorilla press is countered and Christian pops off a right hand and the reverse DDT for two.
High Cross is countered as is the pendulum kick. Is Sheamus channeling Scott Hall lately? With the fallaway slam and the Edge I think he is. Irish Curse is countered into a Killswitch attempt but Christian gets caught in another High Cross attempt. Christian gets out and hits two pendulum kicks but jumps into the Irish Curse for two. Spear counters the Brogue Kick but it only gets two because Christian has no business using the spear.
Sheamus goes up top as this is trending on Twitter too. WHY SHOULD WE FREAKING CARE ABOUT TWITTER??? The people hearing about this have already bought the show so why are you trying to sell it to us again? Sheamus gets caught in a hurricanrana off the top but kicks Christian's head off in another spear attempt for the pin at 9:37.
Otunga and Ace are chatting when Awesome Truth comes up. Otunga leaves and the tag team sucks up to Ace a bit. Ace: I think you could be the greatest tag team in the world. Awesome Truth: Really? Ace: No, but you guys suck up well. Ace leaves and they get in an argument about who is better at sucking. Then they say HHH and Punk suck. Is there a point to this? This goes on way too long and they say they don't like Texas.
We recap HHH/Punk vs. Awesome Truth with a video that I think aired on Smackdown. This eats up like 3 minutes and is about chaos that has been running wild on Raw since MITB. Good video though.
Awesome Truth vs. HHH/CM Punk
Miz vs. Punk to start us off. That goes nowhere so it's off to Truth vs. HHH. The Game is still COO, but he doesn't run Raw anymore. Ok then. Nothing at all in the first two and a half minutes. HHH takes over on Truth and the fans react big. Back to Punk who gets a chant and a falcon arrow for two. HEY! Two things are trending on Twitter that are related to WWE!
This has been going on over five minutes now and there is nothing to say. HHH and Punk even cheat like heels while Punk has Miz in an armbar. We talk about the immigration issue from Monday and it sounds like something that isn't going to mean anything in a few days but will probably be a big plot point soon enough. Awesome Truth takes over on Punk and there's a chinlock.
HHH has a little bit of a gut on him now. Off to Gutty McGame who cleans house and puts both guys on the floor with a double clothesline. Cole goes into a political rant about Republicans being on the fence to make fun of Booker and I have no idea what Booker's original point was. HHH gets beaten down for awhile now as Lawler and Booker try to debate heel philosophy. Booker apparently cursed during that as Lawler says younger children need earmuffs when he talks.
Booker tries to claim the credit for if you're not cheating, you're not trying. And in Texas of all places. HHH gets beaten down for a little while longer and Truth hooks on a figure four headlock. HHH stands up and hits an electric chair (why is it called that anyway) drop and then a DDT to set up the hot tag to Punk. Punk beats up Miz and stops to look at the camera in a creepy way. Truth breaks up the elbow but HHH stops Truth.
Macho Elbow hits and it's GTS time. Miz is enough of a main event guy to escape it though. We watch Truth vs. HHH on the floor and Nash is back. He drills HHH and puts him down. Back in the ring, Miz and Truth hit a combination jumping downward spiral and Finale, which is called the Little Jimmy Finale for the pin on Punk at 15:03.
Nash beats up HHH post match and Jackknifes him. That looked a bit botched.
Alberto comes up to talk to Ace in the back and rants about the last man standing match. Ace says it's an opportunity and Del Rio says he'll find a way to win.
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton
Non-title here. Randy takes over to start but Cody gets in a mask shot to take over. More Twitter things that are tweeting. There's even a graphic to say what's on there now. I give up. Cody throws on a Boston Crab which Randy eventually escapes with a kick to the face. Alabama Slam gets two for Rhodes. Cody busts out a moonsault but Randy moves. I guess he's channeling his inner Angle.
There's the powerslam but Cody blocks the DDT and goes up. That doesn't go so well as he jumps into a dropkick. Beautiful Disaster gets two for Rhodes. The DDT is countered again and Orton gets his backbreaker for two. That sweet over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two. They go up to the corner and Cody gets a headbutt with the mask to set up a moonsault press for two.
One of the baggers distracts Randy so that Cody can hook Cross Rhodes for two. He's shocked but welcome to the main event Cody: finishers mean jack. Now Rhodes loads up an RKO (yes that's correct) but Randy counters into the elevated DDT. The other bagger pops up but Cody is shoved into him. RKO and pin at 12:08.
Rock is at Survivor Series. Thank goodness.
We recap Show vs. Henry. Henry injured him, Henry won the title during Show's injury time, Show wants the title for revenge.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry
They fight over a lockup to start and Henry pushes him into the corner. Show gets to fire away at the ribs and the obvious question comes into play: why not use the big right hand that you know can knock Henry out cold? Show throws him back in and manages a superkick to put Henry on the floor. WE'RE TRENDING PEOPLE!!! WE'RE TRENDING!!! Henry tries to leave with the title but that goes nowhere.
A big slam hits Show to put him down and it's all champion now. Off to the leg now and Henry works on it by laying on it. You can't say he isn't practical. Show tries to slam Henry but the leg gives out. Back to the leg for more cranking which goes on for a few moments. They hit the ropes and collide to put both of them down. They slug it out from their knees. Even from his knees Show is still taller than the local luchador.
Show makes his comeback with punches and clotheslines. Into the corner and it's time for the power of fat to take over. That would be bald white fat instead of haired black fat. He loads up the chokeslam which hits clean but Henry kicks out at like 2.1. So is the punch his official finisher? The Punch is countered into the Slam for two. That would have been a horribly awkward ending if that had been it.
Hang onto your nachos with barbecue sauce: Mark Henry is going to the top rope. Show manages to throw him off with what is supposed to be a chokeslam and Henry kicks out again. Show is stunned and I can't say I blame him. The announcers didn't really react to the chokeslam that well either. Now Show is looking at the corner. Oh dear. Show goes up but Henry makes the save and keeps the planet's tides from changine. Henry hits a superplex and there goes the ring. Not as good of an explosion as Lesnar, but still pretty good. Both guys are down and the match is thrown out (I guess) at about 12 minutes.
They're still down so here are Long and Ace. What role does Ace have here at all? Henry is still down but Show is up on his knees. Show gets on the cart and is holding his neck. He's talking and cursing though. Henry actually falls out of the ring and is still trying to get up. He shoves the referees away and collapses. Henry stumbles up the ramp as he's selling this thing to death.
Ace gets on the mic and says the title match is still on. He slips up (intentionally) and says it's what he wants, not what the fans want.
We recap this feud, which can be summed up as Cena's rematch after losing the title in a triple threat in the Cell.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Last man standing. Cena has a new shirt that says Rise Above Hate. More anti-bullying stuff even though that fad/movement is pretty much over. He walks up to a fan at ringside wearing a We Hate Cena shirt and gives him a little smirk. The guy has no idea what to do so Cena throws his hat over near him and gets in. The guy in the shirt was stunned.
Rodriguez jumps Cena and gets the advantage for Del Rio. Cena is in camo shorts here instead of the usual jeans. They're actually in the broken ring. We talk about the ring collapsing and Jerry actually says Lesnar's name. They head out for some brawling and Cena takes over back inside. I'm not going to bother mentioning the counts because they're not going to come close until about ten minutes in.
Rodriguez has a big black eye. Belly to back puts Cena down and a second one puts him down again. Make it three of them. The ring is at a slant now. This really is a unique look. AA is countered into a Backstabber as Del Rio takes over again. He keeps going to the corners for some reason. Del Rio fires off some more suplexes but Cena counters and starts his finishing sequence. He looks for ropes for the Shuffle and has none in a funny bit.
AA is countered and the Mexican hits a German on the American. Cena hits a gutwrench suplex and they're both down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Cena down but Del Rio breaks it up. They have a good explanation for it though: why let Cena have a break when you know he's getting up? Alberto puts Cena under the ropes and part of a post so he can stomp on it, getting about seven and Del Rio charges into the AA.
That only gets about 8 and Ricardo comes in to break up another AA. Cena fires off move #19, a big boot, to take Ricardo down. Alberto uses the distraction to try the armbreaker but Del Rio grabs a rear naked choke which slips into a sleeper instead. The referee checks the arm because....because.....because he's not that smart. Cena is out and Del Rio has to be up to let the count begin, despite that not being a rule so far throughout the match.
Cena is up at like 7 and Del Rio is tossed into the barricade (no ropes remember) in a great looking crash. This is only the second time they've been out of the ring. Cena loads up the steps but goes into them according to Wrestling Law #2 (#1 is the table version). Rodriguez tries to cheat again but gets crotched on the post. Cena puts Alberto onto the post to teeter tot the post into Ricardo's balls. Ok that was clever.
More steps are set up but Cena goes into them head first this time. Lawler says the steps weigh 400 pounds. So in other words, Del Rio and Cena could lift about half a ton if they were trying. A step shot to Cena like the one he hit Del Rio with on Monday gets 8. They fight into the back which is where things get interesting. Del Rio goes onto what looks like a catering/drink table and Cena is all fired up.
There's a large anvil case (taller than Cena by about two feet) and far wider and Cena tries to drop it on Del Rio. He shoves it over but the champ moves. That would have killed him so that's a good thing. Del Rio slams Cena onto the case and I think he breaks it. Cena is up at seven but back down at 8. Del Rio drops a big metal thing onto Cena (part of the interview set) and then shoves another onto him. Cena is getting buried AND THE INTERNET REJOICES!!! There are like five of them on him and he's not moving. Jericho did this to Kane at Armageddon 2000.
Cena is like screw these five big metal objects on me and is up at 8. I love when wrestling just gets ridiculous like that. Rodriguez gets involved again and Cena is thrown through what looks like a cheap wooden V that the set is made of. He's not on his back so we can't count. Del Rio sets up a regular table (bigger pop than anything else in the match) and climbs up the set for no apparent reason. Cena pulls him down and he crashes through the table and Alberto is up at 9.
They fight over to the equipment stuff and then into the crowd. Ok they're back at ringside now and onto the announce table. Cena throws Alberto into the barricade and takes out Ricardo for about the 9th time for fun. Alberto tries the running enziguri against the post but misses, probably breaking his leg. Cena loads up the steps for the third time and I think it's Super AA time. You know, instead of letting the guy with a probably broken leg stay there.
Cena can be kind of a jerk in these matches you know? Yep it's Super AA time and the Spanish Announce Table (trademark) explodes. That looks to be in but Awesome Truth runs in to beat down Cena. The referee stops looking at Del Rio as Miz hits the Finale and Truth hits Little Jimmy (the 10th name for his finisher) to put Cena out. Del Rio is up and Cena STILL gets up at 9. This is downright comical. There's a belt shot and that's finally enough to beat Cena at 27:00.
Cena looks messed up in the eyes.
Results
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn't answer the ten count
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Mark Henry/Christian/Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton/Sheamus/John Morrison World's Strongest Slam to Morrison
Eve Torres b. Natalya Moonsault
CM Punk b. The Miz Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger Rough Ryder
Dolph Ziggler b. Mason Ryan via DQ when Ryan wouldn't stop beating Ziggler
John Cena/Jim Ross b. Michael Cole/Alberto Del Rio Ankle lock to Cole
NXT
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyler Reks Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Kaitlyn b. Maxine Full Nelson Leglock
Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson b. JTG/Derrick Bateman Clash of the Titus to Bateman
Impact Wrestling
Tara/Brooke Tessmacher b. Angelina Love/Winter Top rope crossbody to Winter
Abyss b. Gunner via countout
James Storm b. Kurt Angle Superkick
Smackdown
Mark Henry b. John Morrison World's Strongest Slam
Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan Wasteland
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Christian/Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara La Mistica
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Ring of Honor
TJ Perkins b. Mike Mondo Majistral Cradle
Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett went to a time limit draw
Vengeance 2011
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn't answer the ten count