klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.96, rounded to a 2.0. Thats down from last week but still the second best theyve had on Syfy.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2011
Location: Dunkin' Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Were officially on the Road to Wrestlemania now with our Royal Rumble winner being Alberto Del Rio. Tonight hes making his selection for an opponent at Wrestlemania. Itll be interesting to see if that match stands up past the Elimination Chamber but still its fun to see. Also we see who is next to face Miz which appears to be Cena. This is one of the most exciting times of the year, so lets get to it.
Edge vs. Miz tonight and there must be a winner due to the interference last week.
Heres Alberto for the big announcement to start the show. He brings out a Mariachi band (King: they need more cowbell) to play Albertos theme song. He comes out in a sweet 2011 Mercedes which he bought as a celebration present to himself. Alberto says he said hed win the Rumble and that he told us so. Ricardo repeats individual lines that Alberto says. He says this Mariachi band only performs for the Mexican President and him. Theyre real music, not Justin Bieber.
Alberto picks the sera? Im not sure what he said but it wasnt picking a title. Instead heres Miz to hear the announcement himself. It sounded like a moderate face pop for actually. He congratulates Alberto and says that hell be champion at Mania while Edge will lose in the Elimination Chamber. Miz heard Edge talking trash about Del Rio last night, including saying the cars are rentals. Del Rio thinks this is a ploy, but here comes Edge to a big pop.
Edge says he doesnt like or respect Del Rio. He wouldnt say those things behind his back though as hed say them to his face instead. Edge will be champion at Mania and is the Rated R Superstar, which was said with a Spanish accent. Del Rio picks Edge and Edge drills him. Miz and Riley bail so Del Rio can jump Edge. He breaks the guitar over the arm of Edge and locks on the Cross Armbreaker which has Edge tapping it seems. Injury angle perhaps?
Nexus vs. Santino/Kozlov for the titles next.
Back and we recap the previous segment and get an E-Mail. Tonight theres a Raw Rumble Match. Seven people in it and the winner gets Miz at Elimination Chamber. The other six go into the Chamber, Id assume for the shot at Mania but that isnt specified. Tonight its Orton vs. Punk vs. Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Sheamus vs. Jerry Lawler vs. John Cena. So wait, Lawler is either getting a PPV Title match or will be in the Elimination Chamber? Thats uh not going to go well I dont think.
Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris
Santino vs. Michael to start. We talk about Santino almost pulling off the miracle last night which was mind blowing for various reasons. Michael puts him in the corner to start but misses a Stinger Splash. Off to Vladimir now who hammers away but gets caught in the knee to shift momentum. Santino and Husky in now with Husky actually losing for a bit.
A cross body by Santino runs into more or less a wall though and Nexus controls again. Neckbreaker by McGillicutty gets two and Santino is sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with Michael getting two on Santino. Santino finally breaks the momentum and its off to Harris and Kozlov, who actually gets a solid pop. Everything breaks down and Santino gets a tag. He gets the Cobra to Harris for the pin to retain at 9:12.
As the champions leave, Orton hits the ring and its an RKO to McGillicutty! He hears voices and sets to punt Harris but Punk pops up to say dont do it. Otunga, Ryan and Punk stand on the stage as Orton is waiting in the ring. It should be noted that Harris took the Cobra and has been down over three minutes now. Hes on his knees with his head on the mat but hasnt been up yet. Now THAT is selling.
Punk says if you punt Harris there will be consequences. After a long pause, he pulls back but then punts Harris anyway. Orton runs through the crowd to avoid the beatdown. Harris is out cold and thats probably the last well see of him for awhile. Punk and Orton stare at each other as we go to a break.
Back with a clip of what we just saw and the announcers talking a bit. Ted DiBiase and Maryse come out to criticize Jerry for hanging on too long. Ted wants Jerrys spot tonight. In the jaw dropping moment of the night, MICHAEL COLE defends Jerry, saying that hes a legend and Ted needs to chill. Jerry says hes been here for 18 years and has never had a match at Wrestlemania because his Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction. His road begins tonight with the Raw Rumble.
Ted hits him and runs so Jerry goes after him. Ted hides behind Maryse, who slaps the hell out of Ted, likely breaking up with him. Jerry drills him as well and is ready to fight. Cole yells at him for trying to hog the spotlight but reminds him that Jerry cant hit him. I kind of hope theyre leading up to Cole vs. Lawler at Mania.
We get a video of someone walking into what looks like a shack but its way too dark to see. Theres rain everywhere and you cant see anything. The date 2-21-11 pops up on screen, which is the day after Elimination Chamber.
Back in the arena and the Bellas are at ringside for this match.
Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan
No word on if this is a title match or not. The Bellas are asked about the bet and they ask if Cole has ever seen Cruel Intentions. If you havent seen it the two main characters bet that the main guy cant sleep with a certain woman. The Bellas are the focal point here and its not like it matters. LeBell Lock ends it at 1:48. No rating of course. Gail and Bryan make out post match. The Bellas come in and we get a catfight.
Edge vs. Miz is next.
Edge vs. The Miz
No entrances but we get big match intros. Edge controls early with basic stuff. Riley pulls Miz to the floor and Miz gets some shots into the arm. Miz gets two on Edge as it occurs to me that the video could have been Sting. Kind of fits and could set up to Mania. I doubt it but its possible. Anyway Miz throws on an armbar as we talk about the main event. This goes on for a long time until Edge finally gets a rope for the break.
And now were right back to the armbar. I love in ring psychology but there comes a point where it makes matches boring. They both get big boots and both men are down. Edge gets a flapjack with the bad arm and stays down for a bit because of it. See, thats how you sell an injury: have it affect your match. Sunset flip gets two for Edge and a boot gets two for Miz.
Edgecution gets no cover as Edge sets for the spear. Riley sends him into the buckle and .heres Cena. Hes up in the guest box and starts a Miz is awful chant. Thats enough for the spear to end Miz at 8:50. Cole calls Edge and Cena buddies. I love the total lack of continuity in WWE. Cole helps Miz out and yells at Riley about Cena.
Steve Austin will be hosting Tough Enough. Yeah that might get them some ratings.
Heres Vickie to say that Edges title is in trouble as Edge will defend the title in a way that it has never been defended before. Its not specified what though.
Natalya/Eve Torres vs. Laycool
We get a clip of Laycool making up for their blunder last night. Natalya vs. McCool to start. Layla comes in and hides from Nattie. She picks Layla up but cant hold onto her. Laycool hug and its back to the beating. Off to the new champion who flat out rocks those gold shorts. She however does not rock in the ring as this is looking bad already. Standing moonsault gets two. Michelle kicks Eve in the corner and DIAMOND DUST (called the Facelift) here by Layla ends Eve at 2:45. No rating for a glorified comedy match but that ending was great.
Usos vs. Great Khali/Mark Henry
Khali dances a bit. Matthews is out to replace King who is getting ready. Josh: Khali and Henry combine to weigh nearly 1000 pounds. Thats as much as a mini-Cooper or the chick from Precious. The GM says that the Usos have no chance so this is now a dance off. I like the brutal honesty there.
You know what? I really like the brutal honesty there. "This match is going to suck and we're not going to waste your time with it. Here's something that'll likely get a nice reaction." Cole dances too and the Usos are nothing special. Take a wild guess who wins here. The Usos wind up taking the monster finishers.
The 2-21-11 thing plays again. That looks A LOT like Stings coat.
Its the world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone, which is HHHs new movie. HHH is a dad just out of prison that is trying to get to know his daughter again. He acts as a chaperone on a field trip but is followed by some people that know him from his life of crime. Its an action-comedy but they seem to have a real problem figuring out which it wants to be rather than a hybrid.
Raw Rumble
This is a regular Royal Rumble but with only seven guys. Morrison is first and we see the routine he did to get back into the ring last night. Thats just insane. Hell be joined by Sheamus to start. Its over the top for eliminations. We take a break before we start though. Back and were told its Laycool/Ziggler vs. Kelly/Edge and the title is on the line. Whoa.
90 second intervals here. Morrison works the arm and tries to put Morrison out. That gets him nowhere but the Irish Curse does. He hits it as Cena is in at #3. Cena puts Sheamus down and tries the FU on Morrison. Naturally Morrison flips out of it and hits an enziguri to Cena and takes over. Punk is the fourth man in. Clothesline and bulldog in the corner to Cena puts him down. All Punk so far. Everyone is back up now and we pair off with Morrison/Punk and Cena/Sheamus. Belly to belly puts Sheamus down.
Number five is R-Truth. He takes down Cena and tosses Morrison over. Morrison holds on and pulls Truth with him. They both skin the cat (who thought that was a good name for it?) but Truth messes his up and looks like hes a fish out of water. FU is blocked on Punk and the next to last guy is Lawler.
Lawler puts everyone down and almost gets Punk out. Sheamus saves him for some reason. Wouldnt he want Punk out? Sheamus almost puts Lawler out but cant quite do it. Orton is last and Punk hides under the ring. Orton I guess realized it as he goes under the ring. He hasnt been in the ring yet. Theres Punk and the beating is on. Both are back in the ring now and weve had no eliminations to this point.
Clothesline puts Punk out but Truth sneaks up on Randy and hes out too! Down to five as we take a break. Back with the same five still in. Cena wakes up and tries a double FU on Truth and Morrison. He dumps Truth but Morrison hangs on. Morrison pulls Cena to the apron and they slug it out with some great teases. Sheamus charges but misses. All three are on the apron here and only Lawler is left in the ring. Hes down though.
Sheamus is back in as is Cena. Morrison is still on the apron and tries to suplex Sheamus out. He gets him up a few times but cant slide in between the legs. Sheamus drills him and he falls backwards but hangs on BY HIS FEET and does a sit up to get back in. This man is not human. He cant be. Morrison tries to get rid of Sheamus but cant get him over.
Slingshot shoulder half kills Morrison and Cena grabs the STFU on Sheamus. Morrison goes for Starship Pain and TOTALLY misses it. That was sad looking. Lawler tries to throw him out but Morrison gets his hands out and again saves himself. Flash Kick puts Cena down and Morrison goes for Sheamus again. This time though Morrison is sent to the apron and the Brogue Kick puts him out.
Lawler gets a dropkick to Cena the the former rapper is in trouble. Sheamus breaks it up and has Cena reeling. For no apparent reason he didnt shove them both out but whatever. Lawler comes after Sheamus again but Sheamus ducks and Lawler puts out Cena! They look at each other and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick. Cena pulls the rope down and Lawler ducks. Sheamus goes over and Lawler is the #1 contender at 15:20!
Results
Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov b. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris Cobra to McGillicutty
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd LeBell Lock
Great Khali/Mark Henry b. The Usos in a Dance Off
Jerry Lawler won the Raw Rumble
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.5. Good sign heading into the Road to Wrestlemania.
NXT
Date: February 1, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews
Another week but no elimination this time. Its good that were down to the final four as the show went way up in quality last time. Also putting Clay with Alberto is a nice idea as thats a very lethal combination especially with Alberto having momentum at the moment. This is a day late but thats fine I suppose. Lets get to it.
Striker is in the ring as is traditional on this show. There will be an elimination next week. Here are the Rookies and the Pros. For some reason Brodus comes out with Ricardo instead. When asked, Ricardo says that Alberto is too busy so hes filling in tonight. I hope thats not traditional now. Oh and Ricardo speaks English.
The first challenge tonight is Arm Wrestling. Yeah is there any point to this at all? First up is Curtis vs. Saxton. They go left handed and Curtis wins in about 2 seconds. Clay vs. Bateman now in what should be one sided. Bateman screams at Bryan to slap him so Bryan smacks the hell out of him a few times.
This lasts a bit and then Brodus turns on the jets and destroys him. This is for three immunity points by the way. Johnny almost gets him but then Brodus headbutts him to give Curtis the win. Damn it theyre really pushing Curtis arent they? Hes painfully boring but theyve decided that they want him to win. I hate that. Hes painfully boring but theyve decided that they want him to win. I hate that.
Byron Saxton vs. Chris Masters
This is the first match and had no intro to it at all. They went to a break after saying it was later tonight and theres the bell. By the way Im watching this on Youtube so the breaks are edited out so Ill be adding 90 seconds to the time as the NXT commercials are noticeable shorter.
Masters starts out with power but gets kicked in the face to slow him down. Nice lets go Masters chant. Hes improved dramatically over the last few months. Saxton starts getting destroyed by the power again and theres the Masterlock to end it in 3:12. Ziggler was about to throw in the towel once Saxton was in trouble. Theres another Mr. Perfect trait for Ziggler: a towel.
We see a clip from earlier with Bryan trying to teach Bateman the guillotine hold. Bateman cant quite get it and says he isnt strong enough. Bryan says that isnt what submissions are about. This is a fine example of why Bateman is talented: this is actually rather funny but the lines theyre saying are boring. Thats the sign of a talented entertainer.
Gail comes up and Daniel says shes good at the guillotine. Bateman says that women know nothing about submission wrestling. Hes unconscious 4 seconds later and Gail and Bryan are making out. Again, much more entertaining than it had any right to be which is a good sign.
Brodus Clay vs. Ted DiBiase
Still no entrances tonight. Before this starts we get a quick recap of last week where Brodus switched pros to explain why Ricardo is there. See, thats something WWE is very good at. Theyre incredibly user friendly. If this is your first show in awhile or your first show ever, youre immediately told why Brodus has that guy at ringside, that Brodus dominated the other rookies and why he has a match with DiBiase tonight. That took about 90 seconds. Thats what you get from WWE all the time and its a great touch.
DiBiase gets an entrance and Maryse comes out after he does in almost her own entrance. DiBiase charges at him and gets shoved into the corner twice. He charges again and manages to get a chinlock. The main thing here is that Maryse is hitting on the announcers and actually gives Todd her number. Thats rather awesome actually. As thats going on, the guys hit the floor and its all Ted who hits a seated dropkick while Brodus is up against the railing.
Josh wants to call the number because he thinks its a pizza place. While this is happening, Brodus sends him into the post and we head back into the ring. Nice head and arms suplex as Brodus is taking over quickly. Off to the nerve hold as the crowd is into this actually. Maryse is taking pictures with her phone. Brodus misses a splash and Ted looks like he wants Dream Street. Maryse kisses Todd and then slaps him. The distraction is enough for Brodus to hit a powerslam to end DiBiase at 4:28.
In the back Curtis is holding ice on his head after the headbutt. Saxton comes up and says hes worried about Johnny. Apparently R-Truth says Johnny is getting too big a head and his ego is out of control. Johnny says theyre not friends and that Saxton is the creepiest man hes ever met in his life. The deadpan delivery there is great.
Time for another challenge. At the moment Curtis has three immunity points and everyone else has zero. This is the Talk the Talk Challenge and its worth 2 points. Then why are we having this? Oh I guess it might shift the voters opinions. Kind of a stretch but ok. Everyone has 30 seconds to talk about a given topic. The first topic is WWE Pros and Saxton gets R-Truth. Saxton does a parody of Truths rap and is booed out of the building.
The category is still WWE Pros and Bateman gets Ziggler. He says he has the face of a worn out catchers mask and his name used to be Turd Ferguson. I love SNL references. Curtis gets Chris Masters. Since he cant top Saxton he drills Brodus and runs away. Ok then. Another Turd chant starts up. Ziggler says if they dont stop hell leave, drawing the pop of the night.
Brodus gets Daniel Bryan and says hes incredibly boring. He does have a pretty girl though and that she probably sits in bed at night, wondering what its like to be with a real man. Hes quoting a scene from Rocky III here where Clubber Lang says the same thing to Rocky. Bryan says hes fat. Bateman wins which he should have. This was more or less a waste of time.
The trailer for the Chaperone is aired again. It still looks bad. There are three minutes Ill never get back from my life.
Raw ReBound eats up about 4 minutes.
R-Truth/Johnny Curtis vs. Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman
This is the main event. Bateman vs. Truth to start us off. Truth takes over and its off to Curtis for some rookie on rookie action. Ziggler says ECW a few times for no apparent reason. They tumble out to the floor and slug it out. This turns into a brawl until the Pros break it up and we take a break.
Back with Curtis vs. Bryan and the Pro is in control. Apparently this is the 50th episode of NXT. Josh thinks Saxton is gone next week. Off to the rookies again with Bateman in control. Bryan comes in again as theres much better continuity between Bateman and Bryan. Bryan tries a surfboard but cant get Curtis back. Instead with his legs intertwined with Curtis he jumps into the air for a stomp. That was cool looking.
Body scissors by the US Champion as Curtis is in trouble. Off to Bateman again but Curtis gets a bad looking spin kick to take Bateman down. Off to both Pros with Truth beating Bryan up a bit. Curtis comes back in for a double suplex with his pro. Bateman and Truth go to the floor and Curtis misses the leg drop. LeBell Lock ends it seconds later at 6:33 shown of 8:03 (90 seconds assumed for commercials on NXT) and were off the air. Or web I suppose.
Results
Johnny Curtis won an Arm Wrestling Challenge
Chris Masters b. Byron Saxton Masterlock
Brodus Clay b. Ted DiBiase Powerslam
Derrick Bateman won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis/R-Truth LeBell Lock to Curtis
Wednesday
TLCs buyrate apparently came in low. But obviously the continuing downward trend of these shows must mean that Vince is doing EVERYTHING right in making the schedule correct?
Thursday
Impact
Date: February 3, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Expect the Unexpected
THEY arrive tonight. After so much speculation, we finally find out who THEY are. Also we see Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle for the world title. Its good to finally have a champion since RVD was attacked. This should be .oh wait hang on I put in the wrong review. Be right back.
Ah here we are.
THEY arrive tonight. After so much speculation, we finally find out who THEY are. Also we see Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title. Yes, TNA is more or less running the same story three months later which isnt as bad as it sounds, but it doesnt bode well. Allegedly THEY were the returning Main Event Mafia but that doesnt seem to be the case now, due to the departures of Booker T and Kevin Nash. Anyway, lets get to it.
We open with a recap of Steiner coming back last week and what probably was the Mafia angle, despite what Bischoff wants you to believe apparently. We get a ton of quick interviews ala ReAction saying nothing of note.
In the arena we open up properly with Bischoff and Immortal in the ring. The fans chant we want Flair. I hear hes too busy to be here but hell show up for an advance in pay. Bischoff calls out Steiner who he isnt happy with. First things first: Hogan isnt here tonight. Yes, the guy theyve hyped for weeks on this show, the biggest draw in the company (allegedly), STILL isnt here. He was last seen on a TNA show on Thanksgiving.
According to Eric, there is no THEY. Bischoff tells Steiner that he told Nash to leave and take the money. Sting isnt coming back and no one cares about Booker. Yeah bullshit on it never being the Mafia until right now. Eric offers Steiner a spot on the team and says his options are join or get his ass kicked. Steiner takes option 3: putting his foot in Bischoffs ass.
Scott says Bischoff is making the same mistake everyone does and assumes he knows Steiner when he doesnt. He says call him sir or hell snap Bischoffs neck. This brings out Crimson and Angle. All three are in suits mind you. Angle says THEY are indeed here and its damn real. Bischoff looks a bit nervous as we take a break.
Back with Jeff Hardy being worried about tonight but Bischoff says its ok. He wants Flair though and Angle/Crimson/Steiner pop up to say THEYRE HERE!
Ink Inc vs. Gunner/Murphy
Big brawl to start us off with the security guys in control. We get down to business with Neal vs. Murphy. Off to Gunner quickly though as the security guys are moving quickly. Ink Inc has had nothing yet. Off to a chinlock by Gunner. Moore finally gets the tag and fights them both off for a bit. Heel miscommunication sets up the Mooregasm to Murphy to end it.
Angle, Steiner and Crimson are in the back. Crimson says THEY havent touched base yet. He also calls Angle boss which means hes the leader I guess. Kurt gets a phone call and is told were still on. They leave to go over the plan.
Christy Hemme is in Dallas apparently where she says that the judge issued a continuance until March 3, which is when well hear the ruling. Great way to earn that paycheck and trip to Dallas Christy! Also nice job of hyping Hogan for a month and then not delivering him.
In the same shot Eric Young pops up and says Angle is a cyborg and he knows who THEY are. This is another one of those insane bits that makes no difference at all for the most part. Apparently he thinks theyre off air.
We get a video of the Jarretts house including the kids. This is about what you would expect.
Anderson wants to talk to Hardy before the match, out in the ring.
Back with Bubba Ray (I will not refer to him as Bully Ray unless I have to) in the ring with Pope who is apparently his partner. Ray talks about how he beat up D-Von last week and was the real star of the team. The fans want D-Von. Pope says that its Joe vs. Pope at the PPV.
This is one of the three storylines going on in TNA at the moment and its probably the best one. The reason for that: its basic. This isnt something that is supposed to be huge. Its been built up over a few weeks and months and they havent gotten in the ring yet. Thats how you build a feud. Id like to see them fight actually.
DAngelo Dinero/Bully Ray vs. Samoa Joe/Brother D-Von
I didnt hear a bell so Im assuming this was an official match. The respective feuds break off with the Dudleys in the ring and the other two in the aisle. Pope tries to run but Okada stops him in the aisle. Who is Okada you ask? Well hes the guy that Joe had filming Pope. Well ok, thats fine and good. However, this is a great example of TNA asking the fans to do too much.
Okada has never appeared on Impact until he popped up in this. Hes been on Xplosion, but since that show is referenced maybe once every six months on Impact, unless you pay really close attention to TNA or know him from his Japan days, this guy is a totally random addition that youve never seen before but apparently youre supposed to be familiar with.
It confuses the viewer because the viewer is guided by the announcers. The announcers treat Okada like someone theyre completely familiar with rather than someone that has never been seen on Impact before. This makes fans think theyve forgotten someone or even confuses them because they try to figure out why they dont know who he is.
What that does is distract them from whats going on in the story. This is another shining example of a very easily solved problem that TNA just lets happen. Heres how you fix it. Tenay: Ladies and gentlemen that mans name is Okada. Hes been a member of TNAs roster for a few months now and has been appearing on our syndicated program Xplosion.
Bam ten seconds and you accomplish two things. You establish this guy isnt a stranger to TNA and does have a connection to the company. You also let people know there is more TNA wrestling out there if theyre interested. See? Instead, we got this. Tenay: Its Okada.
Ok, whos Okada? Why should I care that hes here? Should I be surprised? Is this a twist? Is this expected? Does he have a history with Pope? With Joe? Is he a wrestler? A businessman? A mercenary? All we know about him is that his name is Okada and hes done some work for Joe and he dresses like Kato from Green Hornet. Its confusing and it doesnt have to be. Thats not good and it happens way too much in TNA.
Back in the ring, Ray has a chain but gets dropped with a clothesline. If there was a bell I missed it completely. Theres a referee in there so Im assuming this is a match. D-Von hammers away and we hit the floor. Theyre having a street fight at the PPV. D-Von drills him with a chair and Ray is in trouble. Tenay says it was a scheduled match but security is pulling D-Von off Bubba so I guess it was thrown out. Bubba spits on D-Vons kids as D-Von is being held back.
Mickie vs. Sarita in a taped fist match later.
Jay Lethal vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams
This is another of those X-Division qualifying things. Max Buck, the one that has already qualified, is at the announce table. Great to see guys like Williams and Lethal staying in the upper midcard like they got pushes to isnt it? Buck gets on both other guys and manages to get out of the way before they massacre him, resulting in Lethal nailing Williams.
Jeremy sends Williams to the floor and lands a sweet Asai Moonsault. He gets taken out by a suicide dive by Lethal though as theyre moving out there. Jeremy gets a DDT on Lethal but at the same time Williams gets a Russian Leg Sweep on Jeremy. With everyone in trouble, Max determines that Jeremys shoe is untied so he heads to the ring. Tower of Doom has Buck in trouble.
Williams gets a small package for two. Next week its Robbie E vs. Suicide vs. Kendrick for the last spot in the #1 contenders match. Buck is on the floor for a long while Lethal and Williams do the work. Williams hits Rolling Chaos but gets kicked in the balls by Jeremy who steals the pin on Lethal to advance.
Bischoff is talking to Flairs attorney and doesnt know where Flair is. Beer Money says its ok. Fourtune leaves but AJ says not to worry about anything. AJ says WE are in the drivers seat.
Sarita says she doesnt have a strategy for her match with Mickie because she doesnt need one. Her cousin Rosita is here next week.
We get some quick promos from Anderson and Hardy about their match tonight. This is some of Jeffs best talking in a long time as you can understand him perfectly well.
Anderson calls out Hardy and here he comes. Hardy looks exactly like he did last week in Germany as the promos were from. There is literally water/sweat dripping from Jeffs hair. You can see it and it looks like a leaky faucet. Anderson asks how many Assholes there are here and gets a nice reaction. He asks the same about the Creatures of the Night. Not so good of a reaction, which translates to me that there arent many Taker fans tonight.
Anderson makes fun of the title belt but says that hes worked for 11 years to win what it represents. Both guys dont respect authority and he talks about the gum chewing thing again. Anderson cant seem to decide if this is a serious promo or a comedy one. Ken wants a fair match tonight. Hardy talks about how he doesnt need Immortal to win here so the fans of course keep talking and ranting about things that dont need to be chanted about.
Mickie is taping up her fist.
Back to the Jarretts and in this case its about their kids and family life. Apparently theyre going to have a talent show.
Mickie James vs. Sarita
This is the taped fist match which means you can tape your fists. Shouldnt this be Velvet instead of Mickie though? Apparently Mickies title shot is in a Last Knockout Standing match. Seated dropkick puts down Sarita and Mickie adds in some splits. You have to win by knockout apparently. We head to the floor and Mickie might have punches the post. Sarita works on the hand, because thats clearly the easiest way to knock someone out right?
Hand goes into the steps and its all Sarita. This is rather boring indeed. Sarita keeps dancing and locks in an armbar, in a match where you have to win by knockout. Are they even trying here? In the cheapest of cheap endings, Mickie dodges some shots and gets a single left hand in to end it. So let me get this straight. A single shot with one of those fists can end it? THEN WHY DID WE NEED TO SPEND SIX MINUTES GETTING HERE??? Whatever just end this.
Madison blasts Mickie with the cast and stands over her all evil and such.
Bischoff tells Hardy that hes a bit worried while Jeff says hes ready. Hardy says no one from Immortal can be out there.
The Jarretts are going to renew their wedding vows. This of course is absolutely sickening. Oh and itll be on Impact of course.
TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy
Hey look its the match that they should have built up for weeks but instead hot shotted it on a PPV for shock value! Hardy jumps Anderson during his intro and the fight is on as were still on the ramp. Since this is a title match that is scheduled, a bunch of referees pull them apart and we get swearing. Anderson had some kind of arm hold on Hardy that apparently worked a bit.
The match hasnt started yet either. We take a break before we start which is a bit stupid but not bad. Heres the bell. Let me clarify that: I have no problem with a break before the bell which is probably the best idea. I dont get the point in having a big brawl instead of just starting the match. Anderson controls to start and gets some elbow drops for two.
Hardy fights back and takes over. This is the complete opposite of epic as we knew that Anderson would win the first time but it still felt big. We talk about THEY because the world title match isnt interesting enough I guess. Off to a choke/chinlock by Jeff. Hardy gets a leg drop as this is needing to pick up a lot. Now Hardy wants to work on the leg for no apparent reason.
Andersons balls go into the post and Hardy works on the head. Wow that sounded very bad indeed. Back to the chinlock now. Whisper in the Wind takes Anderson down but of course here comes Anderson. They slug it out from their knees and are now back up with some nice sequences still of punches. Anderson gets a spinning neckbreaker for two.
Mic Check cant hit but Anderson gets a double spin kick (not joking) much like the one Red hits on Lethal in the package from the New York house show that they air every week. That was kind of awesome. Front suplex by Hardy gets two. Dueling chants here. Great job of getting Hardy over as a heel there Hogan/Bischoff. Twist of Hate is reversed and down goes the referee of course.
Heres the Twist of Hate and here comes Immortal. Terry kills Anderson with a clothesline and the beatdown is imminent. AJ hands Anderson to Hardy and throws up the Fourtune sign. And then Fourtune beats up Immortal and its a Styles Clash for Hardy. The fans are liking this a lot as Anderson gets the pin on Hardy to retain.
After a break, AJ says look what we have here. Fourtune isnt taking a back seat to anyone and this is on Erics head. Fourtune is THEY of course. Eric comes out to call AJ an ungrateful son of a bitch. Fourtne was nothing without Hogan and Bischoff and all that jazz. Angle, Crimson and Steiner are in there now too but this is AJ vs. Bischoff.
AJ yells about how Eric and Hogan changed everything and how they messed up a ton of stuff. The fans of course decide that they need to speak up and let us know they want six sides. Hogan is back on March 3rd. Really. We mean it this time. Hogan WILL be here this time unlike tonight when we promised he would be here. He hasnt been seen since Thanksgiving and is somehow the #2 or #3 heel in the company. The big staredown ends the show.
Results
Ink Inc b. Gunner/Murphy Mooregasm to Murphy
Samoa Joe/D-Von vs. Bully Ray/DAngelo Dinero went to a no contest
Jeremy Buck b. Jay Lethal and Douglas Williams Buck pinned Lethal after Rolling Chaos Theory
Mickie James b. Sarita by knockout
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy Pin after a Styles Clash from AJ Styles
Smackdown got a 1.96, rounded to a 2.0. Thats down from last week but still the second best theyve had on Syfy.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2011
Location: Dunkin' Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Were officially on the Road to Wrestlemania now with our Royal Rumble winner being Alberto Del Rio. Tonight hes making his selection for an opponent at Wrestlemania. Itll be interesting to see if that match stands up past the Elimination Chamber but still its fun to see. Also we see who is next to face Miz which appears to be Cena. This is one of the most exciting times of the year, so lets get to it.
Edge vs. Miz tonight and there must be a winner due to the interference last week.
Heres Alberto for the big announcement to start the show. He brings out a Mariachi band (King: they need more cowbell) to play Albertos theme song. He comes out in a sweet 2011 Mercedes which he bought as a celebration present to himself. Alberto says he said hed win the Rumble and that he told us so. Ricardo repeats individual lines that Alberto says. He says this Mariachi band only performs for the Mexican President and him. Theyre real music, not Justin Bieber.
Alberto picks the sera? Im not sure what he said but it wasnt picking a title. Instead heres Miz to hear the announcement himself. It sounded like a moderate face pop for actually. He congratulates Alberto and says that hell be champion at Mania while Edge will lose in the Elimination Chamber. Miz heard Edge talking trash about Del Rio last night, including saying the cars are rentals. Del Rio thinks this is a ploy, but here comes Edge to a big pop.
Edge says he doesnt like or respect Del Rio. He wouldnt say those things behind his back though as hed say them to his face instead. Edge will be champion at Mania and is the Rated R Superstar, which was said with a Spanish accent. Del Rio picks Edge and Edge drills him. Miz and Riley bail so Del Rio can jump Edge. He breaks the guitar over the arm of Edge and locks on the Cross Armbreaker which has Edge tapping it seems. Injury angle perhaps?
Nexus vs. Santino/Kozlov for the titles next.
Back and we recap the previous segment and get an E-Mail. Tonight theres a Raw Rumble Match. Seven people in it and the winner gets Miz at Elimination Chamber. The other six go into the Chamber, Id assume for the shot at Mania but that isnt specified. Tonight its Orton vs. Punk vs. Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Sheamus vs. Jerry Lawler vs. John Cena. So wait, Lawler is either getting a PPV Title match or will be in the Elimination Chamber? Thats uh not going to go well I dont think.
Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris
Santino vs. Michael to start. We talk about Santino almost pulling off the miracle last night which was mind blowing for various reasons. Michael puts him in the corner to start but misses a Stinger Splash. Off to Vladimir now who hammers away but gets caught in the knee to shift momentum. Santino and Husky in now with Husky actually losing for a bit.
A cross body by Santino runs into more or less a wall though and Nexus controls again. Neckbreaker by McGillicutty gets two and Santino is sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with Michael getting two on Santino. Santino finally breaks the momentum and its off to Harris and Kozlov, who actually gets a solid pop. Everything breaks down and Santino gets a tag. He gets the Cobra to Harris for the pin to retain at 9:12.
As the champions leave, Orton hits the ring and its an RKO to McGillicutty! He hears voices and sets to punt Harris but Punk pops up to say dont do it. Otunga, Ryan and Punk stand on the stage as Orton is waiting in the ring. It should be noted that Harris took the Cobra and has been down over three minutes now. Hes on his knees with his head on the mat but hasnt been up yet. Now THAT is selling.
Punk says if you punt Harris there will be consequences. After a long pause, he pulls back but then punts Harris anyway. Orton runs through the crowd to avoid the beatdown. Harris is out cold and thats probably the last well see of him for awhile. Punk and Orton stare at each other as we go to a break.
Back with a clip of what we just saw and the announcers talking a bit. Ted DiBiase and Maryse come out to criticize Jerry for hanging on too long. Ted wants Jerrys spot tonight. In the jaw dropping moment of the night, MICHAEL COLE defends Jerry, saying that hes a legend and Ted needs to chill. Jerry says hes been here for 18 years and has never had a match at Wrestlemania because his Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction. His road begins tonight with the Raw Rumble.
Ted hits him and runs so Jerry goes after him. Ted hides behind Maryse, who slaps the hell out of Ted, likely breaking up with him. Jerry drills him as well and is ready to fight. Cole yells at him for trying to hog the spotlight but reminds him that Jerry cant hit him. I kind of hope theyre leading up to Cole vs. Lawler at Mania.
We get a video of someone walking into what looks like a shack but its way too dark to see. Theres rain everywhere and you cant see anything. The date 2-21-11 pops up on screen, which is the day after Elimination Chamber.
Back in the arena and the Bellas are at ringside for this match.
Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan
No word on if this is a title match or not. The Bellas are asked about the bet and they ask if Cole has ever seen Cruel Intentions. If you havent seen it the two main characters bet that the main guy cant sleep with a certain woman. The Bellas are the focal point here and its not like it matters. LeBell Lock ends it at 1:48. No rating of course. Gail and Bryan make out post match. The Bellas come in and we get a catfight.
Edge vs. Miz is next.
Edge vs. The Miz
No entrances but we get big match intros. Edge controls early with basic stuff. Riley pulls Miz to the floor and Miz gets some shots into the arm. Miz gets two on Edge as it occurs to me that the video could have been Sting. Kind of fits and could set up to Mania. I doubt it but its possible. Anyway Miz throws on an armbar as we talk about the main event. This goes on for a long time until Edge finally gets a rope for the break.
And now were right back to the armbar. I love in ring psychology but there comes a point where it makes matches boring. They both get big boots and both men are down. Edge gets a flapjack with the bad arm and stays down for a bit because of it. See, thats how you sell an injury: have it affect your match. Sunset flip gets two for Edge and a boot gets two for Miz.
Edgecution gets no cover as Edge sets for the spear. Riley sends him into the buckle and .heres Cena. Hes up in the guest box and starts a Miz is awful chant. Thats enough for the spear to end Miz at 8:50. Cole calls Edge and Cena buddies. I love the total lack of continuity in WWE. Cole helps Miz out and yells at Riley about Cena.
Steve Austin will be hosting Tough Enough. Yeah that might get them some ratings.
Heres Vickie to say that Edges title is in trouble as Edge will defend the title in a way that it has never been defended before. Its not specified what though.
Natalya/Eve Torres vs. Laycool
We get a clip of Laycool making up for their blunder last night. Natalya vs. McCool to start. Layla comes in and hides from Nattie. She picks Layla up but cant hold onto her. Laycool hug and its back to the beating. Off to the new champion who flat out rocks those gold shorts. She however does not rock in the ring as this is looking bad already. Standing moonsault gets two. Michelle kicks Eve in the corner and DIAMOND DUST (called the Facelift) here by Layla ends Eve at 2:45. No rating for a glorified comedy match but that ending was great.
Usos vs. Great Khali/Mark Henry
Khali dances a bit. Matthews is out to replace King who is getting ready. Josh: Khali and Henry combine to weigh nearly 1000 pounds. Thats as much as a mini-Cooper or the chick from Precious. The GM says that the Usos have no chance so this is now a dance off. I like the brutal honesty there.
You know what? I really like the brutal honesty there. "This match is going to suck and we're not going to waste your time with it. Here's something that'll likely get a nice reaction." Cole dances too and the Usos are nothing special. Take a wild guess who wins here. The Usos wind up taking the monster finishers.
The 2-21-11 thing plays again. That looks A LOT like Stings coat.
Its the world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone, which is HHHs new movie. HHH is a dad just out of prison that is trying to get to know his daughter again. He acts as a chaperone on a field trip but is followed by some people that know him from his life of crime. Its an action-comedy but they seem to have a real problem figuring out which it wants to be rather than a hybrid.
Raw Rumble
This is a regular Royal Rumble but with only seven guys. Morrison is first and we see the routine he did to get back into the ring last night. Thats just insane. Hell be joined by Sheamus to start. Its over the top for eliminations. We take a break before we start though. Back and were told its Laycool/Ziggler vs. Kelly/Edge and the title is on the line. Whoa.
90 second intervals here. Morrison works the arm and tries to put Morrison out. That gets him nowhere but the Irish Curse does. He hits it as Cena is in at #3. Cena puts Sheamus down and tries the FU on Morrison. Naturally Morrison flips out of it and hits an enziguri to Cena and takes over. Punk is the fourth man in. Clothesline and bulldog in the corner to Cena puts him down. All Punk so far. Everyone is back up now and we pair off with Morrison/Punk and Cena/Sheamus. Belly to belly puts Sheamus down.
Number five is R-Truth. He takes down Cena and tosses Morrison over. Morrison holds on and pulls Truth with him. They both skin the cat (who thought that was a good name for it?) but Truth messes his up and looks like hes a fish out of water. FU is blocked on Punk and the next to last guy is Lawler.
Lawler puts everyone down and almost gets Punk out. Sheamus saves him for some reason. Wouldnt he want Punk out? Sheamus almost puts Lawler out but cant quite do it. Orton is last and Punk hides under the ring. Orton I guess realized it as he goes under the ring. He hasnt been in the ring yet. Theres Punk and the beating is on. Both are back in the ring now and weve had no eliminations to this point.
Clothesline puts Punk out but Truth sneaks up on Randy and hes out too! Down to five as we take a break. Back with the same five still in. Cena wakes up and tries a double FU on Truth and Morrison. He dumps Truth but Morrison hangs on. Morrison pulls Cena to the apron and they slug it out with some great teases. Sheamus charges but misses. All three are on the apron here and only Lawler is left in the ring. Hes down though.
Sheamus is back in as is Cena. Morrison is still on the apron and tries to suplex Sheamus out. He gets him up a few times but cant slide in between the legs. Sheamus drills him and he falls backwards but hangs on BY HIS FEET and does a sit up to get back in. This man is not human. He cant be. Morrison tries to get rid of Sheamus but cant get him over.
Slingshot shoulder half kills Morrison and Cena grabs the STFU on Sheamus. Morrison goes for Starship Pain and TOTALLY misses it. That was sad looking. Lawler tries to throw him out but Morrison gets his hands out and again saves himself. Flash Kick puts Cena down and Morrison goes for Sheamus again. This time though Morrison is sent to the apron and the Brogue Kick puts him out.
Lawler gets a dropkick to Cena the the former rapper is in trouble. Sheamus breaks it up and has Cena reeling. For no apparent reason he didnt shove them both out but whatever. Lawler comes after Sheamus again but Sheamus ducks and Lawler puts out Cena! They look at each other and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick. Cena pulls the rope down and Lawler ducks. Sheamus goes over and Lawler is the #1 contender at 15:20!
Results
Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov b. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris Cobra to McGillicutty
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd LeBell Lock
Great Khali/Mark Henry b. The Usos in a Dance Off
Jerry Lawler won the Raw Rumble
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.5. Good sign heading into the Road to Wrestlemania.
NXT
Date: February 1, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews
Another week but no elimination this time. Its good that were down to the final four as the show went way up in quality last time. Also putting Clay with Alberto is a nice idea as thats a very lethal combination especially with Alberto having momentum at the moment. This is a day late but thats fine I suppose. Lets get to it.
Striker is in the ring as is traditional on this show. There will be an elimination next week. Here are the Rookies and the Pros. For some reason Brodus comes out with Ricardo instead. When asked, Ricardo says that Alberto is too busy so hes filling in tonight. I hope thats not traditional now. Oh and Ricardo speaks English.
The first challenge tonight is Arm Wrestling. Yeah is there any point to this at all? First up is Curtis vs. Saxton. They go left handed and Curtis wins in about 2 seconds. Clay vs. Bateman now in what should be one sided. Bateman screams at Bryan to slap him so Bryan smacks the hell out of him a few times.
This lasts a bit and then Brodus turns on the jets and destroys him. This is for three immunity points by the way. Johnny almost gets him but then Brodus headbutts him to give Curtis the win. Damn it theyre really pushing Curtis arent they? Hes painfully boring but theyve decided that they want him to win. I hate that. Hes painfully boring but theyve decided that they want him to win. I hate that.
Byron Saxton vs. Chris Masters
This is the first match and had no intro to it at all. They went to a break after saying it was later tonight and theres the bell. By the way Im watching this on Youtube so the breaks are edited out so Ill be adding 90 seconds to the time as the NXT commercials are noticeable shorter.
Masters starts out with power but gets kicked in the face to slow him down. Nice lets go Masters chant. Hes improved dramatically over the last few months. Saxton starts getting destroyed by the power again and theres the Masterlock to end it in 3:12. Ziggler was about to throw in the towel once Saxton was in trouble. Theres another Mr. Perfect trait for Ziggler: a towel.
We see a clip from earlier with Bryan trying to teach Bateman the guillotine hold. Bateman cant quite get it and says he isnt strong enough. Bryan says that isnt what submissions are about. This is a fine example of why Bateman is talented: this is actually rather funny but the lines theyre saying are boring. Thats the sign of a talented entertainer.
Gail comes up and Daniel says shes good at the guillotine. Bateman says that women know nothing about submission wrestling. Hes unconscious 4 seconds later and Gail and Bryan are making out. Again, much more entertaining than it had any right to be which is a good sign.
Brodus Clay vs. Ted DiBiase
Still no entrances tonight. Before this starts we get a quick recap of last week where Brodus switched pros to explain why Ricardo is there. See, thats something WWE is very good at. Theyre incredibly user friendly. If this is your first show in awhile or your first show ever, youre immediately told why Brodus has that guy at ringside, that Brodus dominated the other rookies and why he has a match with DiBiase tonight. That took about 90 seconds. Thats what you get from WWE all the time and its a great touch.
DiBiase gets an entrance and Maryse comes out after he does in almost her own entrance. DiBiase charges at him and gets shoved into the corner twice. He charges again and manages to get a chinlock. The main thing here is that Maryse is hitting on the announcers and actually gives Todd her number. Thats rather awesome actually. As thats going on, the guys hit the floor and its all Ted who hits a seated dropkick while Brodus is up against the railing.
Josh wants to call the number because he thinks its a pizza place. While this is happening, Brodus sends him into the post and we head back into the ring. Nice head and arms suplex as Brodus is taking over quickly. Off to the nerve hold as the crowd is into this actually. Maryse is taking pictures with her phone. Brodus misses a splash and Ted looks like he wants Dream Street. Maryse kisses Todd and then slaps him. The distraction is enough for Brodus to hit a powerslam to end DiBiase at 4:28.
In the back Curtis is holding ice on his head after the headbutt. Saxton comes up and says hes worried about Johnny. Apparently R-Truth says Johnny is getting too big a head and his ego is out of control. Johnny says theyre not friends and that Saxton is the creepiest man hes ever met in his life. The deadpan delivery there is great.
Time for another challenge. At the moment Curtis has three immunity points and everyone else has zero. This is the Talk the Talk Challenge and its worth 2 points. Then why are we having this? Oh I guess it might shift the voters opinions. Kind of a stretch but ok. Everyone has 30 seconds to talk about a given topic. The first topic is WWE Pros and Saxton gets R-Truth. Saxton does a parody of Truths rap and is booed out of the building.
The category is still WWE Pros and Bateman gets Ziggler. He says he has the face of a worn out catchers mask and his name used to be Turd Ferguson. I love SNL references. Curtis gets Chris Masters. Since he cant top Saxton he drills Brodus and runs away. Ok then. Another Turd chant starts up. Ziggler says if they dont stop hell leave, drawing the pop of the night.
Brodus gets Daniel Bryan and says hes incredibly boring. He does have a pretty girl though and that she probably sits in bed at night, wondering what its like to be with a real man. Hes quoting a scene from Rocky III here where Clubber Lang says the same thing to Rocky. Bryan says hes fat. Bateman wins which he should have. This was more or less a waste of time.
The trailer for the Chaperone is aired again. It still looks bad. There are three minutes Ill never get back from my life.
Raw ReBound eats up about 4 minutes.
R-Truth/Johnny Curtis vs. Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman
This is the main event. Bateman vs. Truth to start us off. Truth takes over and its off to Curtis for some rookie on rookie action. Ziggler says ECW a few times for no apparent reason. They tumble out to the floor and slug it out. This turns into a brawl until the Pros break it up and we take a break.
Back with Curtis vs. Bryan and the Pro is in control. Apparently this is the 50th episode of NXT. Josh thinks Saxton is gone next week. Off to the rookies again with Bateman in control. Bryan comes in again as theres much better continuity between Bateman and Bryan. Bryan tries a surfboard but cant get Curtis back. Instead with his legs intertwined with Curtis he jumps into the air for a stomp. That was cool looking.
Body scissors by the US Champion as Curtis is in trouble. Off to Bateman again but Curtis gets a bad looking spin kick to take Bateman down. Off to both Pros with Truth beating Bryan up a bit. Curtis comes back in for a double suplex with his pro. Bateman and Truth go to the floor and Curtis misses the leg drop. LeBell Lock ends it seconds later at 6:33 shown of 8:03 (90 seconds assumed for commercials on NXT) and were off the air. Or web I suppose.
Results
Johnny Curtis won an Arm Wrestling Challenge
Chris Masters b. Byron Saxton Masterlock
Brodus Clay b. Ted DiBiase Powerslam
Derrick Bateman won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis/R-Truth LeBell Lock to Curtis
Wednesday
TLCs buyrate apparently came in low. But obviously the continuing downward trend of these shows must mean that Vince is doing EVERYTHING right in making the schedule correct?
Thursday
Impact
Date: February 3, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Expect the Unexpected
THEY arrive tonight. After so much speculation, we finally find out who THEY are. Also we see Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle for the world title. Its good to finally have a champion since RVD was attacked. This should be .oh wait hang on I put in the wrong review. Be right back.
Ah here we are.
THEY arrive tonight. After so much speculation, we finally find out who THEY are. Also we see Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title. Yes, TNA is more or less running the same story three months later which isnt as bad as it sounds, but it doesnt bode well. Allegedly THEY were the returning Main Event Mafia but that doesnt seem to be the case now, due to the departures of Booker T and Kevin Nash. Anyway, lets get to it.
We open with a recap of Steiner coming back last week and what probably was the Mafia angle, despite what Bischoff wants you to believe apparently. We get a ton of quick interviews ala ReAction saying nothing of note.
In the arena we open up properly with Bischoff and Immortal in the ring. The fans chant we want Flair. I hear hes too busy to be here but hell show up for an advance in pay. Bischoff calls out Steiner who he isnt happy with. First things first: Hogan isnt here tonight. Yes, the guy theyve hyped for weeks on this show, the biggest draw in the company (allegedly), STILL isnt here. He was last seen on a TNA show on Thanksgiving.
According to Eric, there is no THEY. Bischoff tells Steiner that he told Nash to leave and take the money. Sting isnt coming back and no one cares about Booker. Yeah bullshit on it never being the Mafia until right now. Eric offers Steiner a spot on the team and says his options are join or get his ass kicked. Steiner takes option 3: putting his foot in Bischoffs ass.
Scott says Bischoff is making the same mistake everyone does and assumes he knows Steiner when he doesnt. He says call him sir or hell snap Bischoffs neck. This brings out Crimson and Angle. All three are in suits mind you. Angle says THEY are indeed here and its damn real. Bischoff looks a bit nervous as we take a break.
Back with Jeff Hardy being worried about tonight but Bischoff says its ok. He wants Flair though and Angle/Crimson/Steiner pop up to say THEYRE HERE!
Ink Inc vs. Gunner/Murphy
Big brawl to start us off with the security guys in control. We get down to business with Neal vs. Murphy. Off to Gunner quickly though as the security guys are moving quickly. Ink Inc has had nothing yet. Off to a chinlock by Gunner. Moore finally gets the tag and fights them both off for a bit. Heel miscommunication sets up the Mooregasm to Murphy to end it.
Angle, Steiner and Crimson are in the back. Crimson says THEY havent touched base yet. He also calls Angle boss which means hes the leader I guess. Kurt gets a phone call and is told were still on. They leave to go over the plan.
Christy Hemme is in Dallas apparently where she says that the judge issued a continuance until March 3, which is when well hear the ruling. Great way to earn that paycheck and trip to Dallas Christy! Also nice job of hyping Hogan for a month and then not delivering him.
In the same shot Eric Young pops up and says Angle is a cyborg and he knows who THEY are. This is another one of those insane bits that makes no difference at all for the most part. Apparently he thinks theyre off air.
We get a video of the Jarretts house including the kids. This is about what you would expect.
Anderson wants to talk to Hardy before the match, out in the ring.
Back with Bubba Ray (I will not refer to him as Bully Ray unless I have to) in the ring with Pope who is apparently his partner. Ray talks about how he beat up D-Von last week and was the real star of the team. The fans want D-Von. Pope says that its Joe vs. Pope at the PPV.
This is one of the three storylines going on in TNA at the moment and its probably the best one. The reason for that: its basic. This isnt something that is supposed to be huge. Its been built up over a few weeks and months and they havent gotten in the ring yet. Thats how you build a feud. Id like to see them fight actually.
DAngelo Dinero/Bully Ray vs. Samoa Joe/Brother D-Von
I didnt hear a bell so Im assuming this was an official match. The respective feuds break off with the Dudleys in the ring and the other two in the aisle. Pope tries to run but Okada stops him in the aisle. Who is Okada you ask? Well hes the guy that Joe had filming Pope. Well ok, thats fine and good. However, this is a great example of TNA asking the fans to do too much.
Okada has never appeared on Impact until he popped up in this. Hes been on Xplosion, but since that show is referenced maybe once every six months on Impact, unless you pay really close attention to TNA or know him from his Japan days, this guy is a totally random addition that youve never seen before but apparently youre supposed to be familiar with.
It confuses the viewer because the viewer is guided by the announcers. The announcers treat Okada like someone theyre completely familiar with rather than someone that has never been seen on Impact before. This makes fans think theyve forgotten someone or even confuses them because they try to figure out why they dont know who he is.
What that does is distract them from whats going on in the story. This is another shining example of a very easily solved problem that TNA just lets happen. Heres how you fix it. Tenay: Ladies and gentlemen that mans name is Okada. Hes been a member of TNAs roster for a few months now and has been appearing on our syndicated program Xplosion.
Bam ten seconds and you accomplish two things. You establish this guy isnt a stranger to TNA and does have a connection to the company. You also let people know there is more TNA wrestling out there if theyre interested. See? Instead, we got this. Tenay: Its Okada.
Ok, whos Okada? Why should I care that hes here? Should I be surprised? Is this a twist? Is this expected? Does he have a history with Pope? With Joe? Is he a wrestler? A businessman? A mercenary? All we know about him is that his name is Okada and hes done some work for Joe and he dresses like Kato from Green Hornet. Its confusing and it doesnt have to be. Thats not good and it happens way too much in TNA.
Back in the ring, Ray has a chain but gets dropped with a clothesline. If there was a bell I missed it completely. Theres a referee in there so Im assuming this is a match. D-Von hammers away and we hit the floor. Theyre having a street fight at the PPV. D-Von drills him with a chair and Ray is in trouble. Tenay says it was a scheduled match but security is pulling D-Von off Bubba so I guess it was thrown out. Bubba spits on D-Vons kids as D-Von is being held back.
Mickie vs. Sarita in a taped fist match later.
Jay Lethal vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams
This is another of those X-Division qualifying things. Max Buck, the one that has already qualified, is at the announce table. Great to see guys like Williams and Lethal staying in the upper midcard like they got pushes to isnt it? Buck gets on both other guys and manages to get out of the way before they massacre him, resulting in Lethal nailing Williams.
Jeremy sends Williams to the floor and lands a sweet Asai Moonsault. He gets taken out by a suicide dive by Lethal though as theyre moving out there. Jeremy gets a DDT on Lethal but at the same time Williams gets a Russian Leg Sweep on Jeremy. With everyone in trouble, Max determines that Jeremys shoe is untied so he heads to the ring. Tower of Doom has Buck in trouble.
Williams gets a small package for two. Next week its Robbie E vs. Suicide vs. Kendrick for the last spot in the #1 contenders match. Buck is on the floor for a long while Lethal and Williams do the work. Williams hits Rolling Chaos but gets kicked in the balls by Jeremy who steals the pin on Lethal to advance.
Bischoff is talking to Flairs attorney and doesnt know where Flair is. Beer Money says its ok. Fourtune leaves but AJ says not to worry about anything. AJ says WE are in the drivers seat.
Sarita says she doesnt have a strategy for her match with Mickie because she doesnt need one. Her cousin Rosita is here next week.
We get some quick promos from Anderson and Hardy about their match tonight. This is some of Jeffs best talking in a long time as you can understand him perfectly well.
Anderson calls out Hardy and here he comes. Hardy looks exactly like he did last week in Germany as the promos were from. There is literally water/sweat dripping from Jeffs hair. You can see it and it looks like a leaky faucet. Anderson asks how many Assholes there are here and gets a nice reaction. He asks the same about the Creatures of the Night. Not so good of a reaction, which translates to me that there arent many Taker fans tonight.
Anderson makes fun of the title belt but says that hes worked for 11 years to win what it represents. Both guys dont respect authority and he talks about the gum chewing thing again. Anderson cant seem to decide if this is a serious promo or a comedy one. Ken wants a fair match tonight. Hardy talks about how he doesnt need Immortal to win here so the fans of course keep talking and ranting about things that dont need to be chanted about.
Mickie is taping up her fist.
Back to the Jarretts and in this case its about their kids and family life. Apparently theyre going to have a talent show.
Mickie James vs. Sarita
This is the taped fist match which means you can tape your fists. Shouldnt this be Velvet instead of Mickie though? Apparently Mickies title shot is in a Last Knockout Standing match. Seated dropkick puts down Sarita and Mickie adds in some splits. You have to win by knockout apparently. We head to the floor and Mickie might have punches the post. Sarita works on the hand, because thats clearly the easiest way to knock someone out right?
Hand goes into the steps and its all Sarita. This is rather boring indeed. Sarita keeps dancing and locks in an armbar, in a match where you have to win by knockout. Are they even trying here? In the cheapest of cheap endings, Mickie dodges some shots and gets a single left hand in to end it. So let me get this straight. A single shot with one of those fists can end it? THEN WHY DID WE NEED TO SPEND SIX MINUTES GETTING HERE??? Whatever just end this.
Madison blasts Mickie with the cast and stands over her all evil and such.
Bischoff tells Hardy that hes a bit worried while Jeff says hes ready. Hardy says no one from Immortal can be out there.
The Jarretts are going to renew their wedding vows. This of course is absolutely sickening. Oh and itll be on Impact of course.
TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy
Hey look its the match that they should have built up for weeks but instead hot shotted it on a PPV for shock value! Hardy jumps Anderson during his intro and the fight is on as were still on the ramp. Since this is a title match that is scheduled, a bunch of referees pull them apart and we get swearing. Anderson had some kind of arm hold on Hardy that apparently worked a bit.
The match hasnt started yet either. We take a break before we start which is a bit stupid but not bad. Heres the bell. Let me clarify that: I have no problem with a break before the bell which is probably the best idea. I dont get the point in having a big brawl instead of just starting the match. Anderson controls to start and gets some elbow drops for two.
Hardy fights back and takes over. This is the complete opposite of epic as we knew that Anderson would win the first time but it still felt big. We talk about THEY because the world title match isnt interesting enough I guess. Off to a choke/chinlock by Jeff. Hardy gets a leg drop as this is needing to pick up a lot. Now Hardy wants to work on the leg for no apparent reason.
Andersons balls go into the post and Hardy works on the head. Wow that sounded very bad indeed. Back to the chinlock now. Whisper in the Wind takes Anderson down but of course here comes Anderson. They slug it out from their knees and are now back up with some nice sequences still of punches. Anderson gets a spinning neckbreaker for two.
Mic Check cant hit but Anderson gets a double spin kick (not joking) much like the one Red hits on Lethal in the package from the New York house show that they air every week. That was kind of awesome. Front suplex by Hardy gets two. Dueling chants here. Great job of getting Hardy over as a heel there Hogan/Bischoff. Twist of Hate is reversed and down goes the referee of course.
Heres the Twist of Hate and here comes Immortal. Terry kills Anderson with a clothesline and the beatdown is imminent. AJ hands Anderson to Hardy and throws up the Fourtune sign. And then Fourtune beats up Immortal and its a Styles Clash for Hardy. The fans are liking this a lot as Anderson gets the pin on Hardy to retain.
After a break, AJ says look what we have here. Fourtune isnt taking a back seat to anyone and this is on Erics head. Fourtune is THEY of course. Eric comes out to call AJ an ungrateful son of a bitch. Fourtne was nothing without Hogan and Bischoff and all that jazz. Angle, Crimson and Steiner are in there now too but this is AJ vs. Bischoff.
AJ yells about how Eric and Hogan changed everything and how they messed up a ton of stuff. The fans of course decide that they need to speak up and let us know they want six sides. Hogan is back on March 3rd. Really. We mean it this time. Hogan WILL be here this time unlike tonight when we promised he would be here. He hasnt been seen since Thanksgiving and is somehow the #2 or #3 heel in the company. The big staredown ends the show.
Results
Ink Inc b. Gunner/Murphy Mooregasm to Murphy
Samoa Joe/D-Von vs. Bully Ray/DAngelo Dinero went to a no contest
Jeremy Buck b. Jay Lethal and Douglas Williams Buck pinned Lethal after Rolling Chaos Theory
Mickie James b. Sarita by knockout
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy Pin after a Styles Clash from AJ Styles