Cena's Little Helper
Mid-Card Championship Winner
Ichi The Killer (2001, Directed by Takashi Miike)
Synopsis: A seriously fucked-up and masochistic Yakuza named Kakihara looks for the man who assassinated his boss. While some may understandably assume that this has everything to do with criminal honor, Kakihara's obsession with finding his boss's killer has more to do with the fact that he needs avenge the death of the only man who could satisfactorily abuse and torture...too bad Kakihara's boss's killer is Ichi, a crying pussy in a rollerball rubber suit who'll become a badass if you push him too far.
Why This Film Was Chosen: Because it's only one of two films to ever make me voluntarily close my eyes.
Key Disturbing Moment: Kakihara graphically cuts off his tongue for...I don't even know why, I already told you he's a sick fuck.
vs.
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991, Directed by Lam Nai-choi)
Synopsis: The heroic martial arts expert Ricky is sent to a privatized, maximum-security prison where he has to take on four prison bosses and a corrupt warden to make everything peaches and cream.
Why This Film Was Chosen: Because it's the second-most well-known Category III film ever made.
Key Disturbing Moment: Ricky slaps some dude's head and it explodes...yeah, he'd make Chuck Norris his bitch.

Synopsis: A seriously fucked-up and masochistic Yakuza named Kakihara looks for the man who assassinated his boss. While some may understandably assume that this has everything to do with criminal honor, Kakihara's obsession with finding his boss's killer has more to do with the fact that he needs avenge the death of the only man who could satisfactorily abuse and torture...too bad Kakihara's boss's killer is Ichi, a crying pussy in a rollerball rubber suit who'll become a badass if you push him too far.
Why This Film Was Chosen: Because it's only one of two films to ever make me voluntarily close my eyes.
Key Disturbing Moment: Kakihara graphically cuts off his tongue for...I don't even know why, I already told you he's a sick fuck.
vs.
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991, Directed by Lam Nai-choi)

Synopsis: The heroic martial arts expert Ricky is sent to a privatized, maximum-security prison where he has to take on four prison bosses and a corrupt warden to make everything peaches and cream.
Why This Film Was Chosen: Because it's the second-most well-known Category III film ever made.
Key Disturbing Moment: Ricky slaps some dude's head and it explodes...yeah, he'd make Chuck Norris his bitch.