Ultimate Warrior Championship Wrestling

[Miko]

The scene opens to a huge arena, it is literally the biggest arena ever to host a wrestling show and it is bursting at the seams with a cheering crowd, a crowd so big that everyone else who thinks they've ever drawn a significant crowd at a wrestling event can go fuck themselves and they are cheering so loud I can barely hear myself type this. Almost each and everyone of them is holding an Ultimate Warrior sign, whether this is because at this point he is the only confirmed person to appear at the event or because he is that damn popular is pretty easy to answer really, its because he's that damn popular.

If you thought the audience was loud already then listen to this;

[YOUTUBE]mYZ5JcHVpa8[/YOUTUBE]

The arena literally explodes as the cheer for the Ultimate one takes the arena roof clean off, Warrior pumps his fists into the air and sprints down to the ring while the roof sails off into the air and out of sight, there are one or two concerned faces in the crowd and Warrior, being the skilled mic worker that he is, decides to address this first.

"IT'S OKAY!" He bellows, "down there is MEXICO!" He shouts, pointing in the direction the roof blew off.

This is met with a thunderous reaction as the good ol' fashion American crowd realises that no good ol' fashion Americans are going to get hurt.

"I guess TONIGHT will be an open arena show!" Another huge reaction, it seems the crowd had indeed noticed that this would be an open arena show. "I'll keep this short and sweet." Says the Ultimate one, to a dubious reaction from this crowd who could plainly listen to him speak all night. "YOU CAME HERE TO SEE WRESTLING!" A huge ovation, Warrior, as usual, hits the nail on the head, this audience did indeed come to see wrestling. "THEN I SHALL PROVIDE!"

[YOUTUBE]P2Ju-p9C6zQ[/YOUTUBE]

Some of the arena boo's as the entire of the Aces and Eights, sans Bully Ray make their way down to the ring and stand on the outside, smirking and other such heelish gestures. Warrior takes his time, points at every single one of them while pumping his fist in the air, the audience loving this display of fearlessness in the face of insurmountably odds. "Stooges sent by Ho Kogan no doubt!" The audience clearly agree, "these are real insurmountably odds!" Shouts the Warrior, "Shawn Michaels can go fuck himself!"

The cheer from the audience is cut off as the Aces and Eights rush Warrior but he is ready to meet them, greeting DOC and Devon with right hands, Garrett Bischoff gets a shoulder block for his troubles as the referee (who was in the ring all the time) signals for the bell to ring, Wes Brisco gets a sequence of clotheslines and DOC is hoisted above the head of Warrior for the Gorilla Press Slam.

Various stooges are ejected from the ring as Mike Knox clubs Warrior in the back, Warrior begins to shake the ropes, stomping his foot as Knox desperately continues clubbing, not even phasing the Ultimate one, Devon joins in but Warrior is too much, shoulder blocking them both repeatedly, Devon bails from the ring as now it is Knox's turn to be lifted for the Gorilla Press Slam while the audience screams emphatically. Warrior drops Knox and runs both ropes, finishing with a splash while the referee counts 1,2,3 and this one is over. If there were still a roof on this arena, it'd have come off all over again.

A celebrating Warrior, obviously not out of breath charges back up the ramp and into the back while the audience, having already got their money's worth, $100 dollars each, begin to leave.

[YOUTUBE]Juqm94sUV_E[/YOUTUBE]

The crowd doesn't know how to react until a clearly intoxicated Scott Hall makes his way onto the ramp, followed closely by Nash, both men saunter down to the ring and Kevin helps Scott through the ropes. Scott grabs a mic and starts mumbling incoherently down it, with Nash smirking in the background.

"Fuckinpricks!" Cue glorious booing from the audience, "ya'llfuckinpricks! I hadacareeronce, yafuckinpricks!"

Nash continues to smirk in the background, before taking a mic. "We're invading this company, and we've got a guy on the inside," the crowd reacts, shocked, the idea of a pair of wrestlers invading another company with a guy on the inside clearly alien to them. Nash goes to pass the mic back to Scott but. . .

[YOUTUBE]O4R-zyC4skI[/YOUTUBE]

The crowd erupts as Diamond Dallas Page and Jake The Snake appear on the ramp, Nash reacts furiously as Hall leans on the turnbuckle for support. DDP takes a mic.

"The fact that your out here drunk as a skunk tonight Scott isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing!" The crowd chant along with Dallas Page. "It shows that you are still actively trying to keep your career going." Hall nods at this, no one is as reasonable as DDP, even Jake The Snake is nodding in agreement. "Good, Scott, with DDP yoga you can overcome your alchohol problems and ditch that entertainment void next to you."

Nash reacts as furiously as you'd expect, pointing his finger up the ramp, no doubt shouting what he's going to do to DDP should he arrive in the ring. Scott seems to think, before putting the mic to his fucking mouth.

"Perhaps, perhapsIshould. . ."

"No, don't make up your mind yet Scott!" DDP cuts him off, "lets have a tag team match later on to drag out the suspense of your decision, me and The Snake vs you and Nash."

Hall, Nash and The Snake all nod in agreement of this, as usual, reasonable request from DDP.

Suddenly Warrior appears on the titantron thingy, nodding in agreement. "What a reasonably REQUEST from the Diamond Dallas Page!" He said approvingly, "that match will be our MAIN EVENT tonight!" The crowd roar their approval, "and it will be great. . . No, it will be UULLLLLTIMAAAATE!"

The crowd roar their furious approval, temporarily disabling the audio and visual on our screens. . .

TO BE CONTINUED!

 

[Miko]

We come back to a still roaring audience, who have been stood cheering for God only knows how long, its clear that they've been kept entertained by the presence of the Ultimate Warrior in the ring. He isn't actually doing anything, nor is it clear if he ever was, but just the sheer fact that he is in the ring at any point is enough to send these people into a sheer frenzy.

It seems that during the blackout an announce table has been set up and two announcers are sat behind it, the camera pans on to them to reveal a small, pink shirt wearing man with pit stains sat next to a rather stern looking gentleman dressed in what appears at first glance to be a Nazi uniform. Realising he is on cue, the pink shirted man speaks.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is Thaddeus Gearchange and as always I am joined by my ever faithful partner, the commandant."

The stern looking man inclines his head.

"Gutten tag."

The enthusiastic Thaddeus takes over again.

"If you are just joining us then you missed a blockbuster announcement earlier, it would seem that Diamond Dallas Page and Jake The Snake Roberts have challenged Scott Hall and Kevin Nash to a tag team match, which the Ultimate one has made tonight's Main Event!"

He looks over to his broadcast partner.

"Ya vol, and who could forget that Kevin Nash claims to haff a man on the inside?"

"A sound military strategy?"

"Sound indeed! Although my expertise lie more vith keeping people in places as opposed to infiltration." Both commentators share a laugh at this.

[YOUTUBE]DdGdBK9sbgc[/YOUTUBE]

Thaddeus jumps out of his seat on the beginning of that entrance music. "OH MY!" He screams as the Animal makes his way out, standing on the ramp and staring down the Ultimate Warrior. The two stand and stare, the crowd in a complete frenzy as these Human Beasts are nowhere near face to face yet still generating the kind of intensity most of the pro-wrestling population wish they could.

Eventually Batista begins to speak.

"This is a very impressive company you've set up here, big guy."

Warrior merely snorts.

"However, it would seem it is in need of a major draw. . ." Batista is cut off by the intensely loyal fanbase, much larger than any other wrestling crowd in the history of anywhere all shouting "ULTIMATE! ULTIMATE! ULTIMATE!" Warrior, ever the showman, pumping his arms in time to the chanting.

Batista nods along with them.

"Indeed," he says as they quieten down. "An 'Ultimate' draw even, a top face. . ." The boo's begin raining down on the Animal, "I will be happy, to fill that role!" More boo's follow, these intelligent wrestling fans clearly do not like being patronised.

Finally they silence, long enough for Warrior to speak.

"Who are you little man?" A huge roar of approval.

Batista goes to speak but Warrior snorts, a snort so loud and powerful it scared Batista's voice away.

"These people will watch for who they want to watch," Warrior continued, "they will not be patronised by the likes of you, Dave Batista, whoever you are. . ." The crowd roar, Warrior as usual tapping into their emotions and feelings as only he can. Batista is speechless, "I see you are speechless Dave Batista, whoever you are!" Warrior shouted, "then why don't you come down to this ring and let your fists do the talking?"

Batista looks inclined to take Warrior up on the offer, walking down to the ring while Warrior starts to psyche himself up, preparing for the epic confrontation.

Typically heelishly, Batista turns around at the last moment and begins walking back up the ramp, the crowd boo heavily but they boo's turn to cheers as Warrior again begins gesticulating, entertaining them with his mere presence.

Thaddeus; "What a confrontation, and you have to believe that this isn't over between these two!"

Commandant; "Why?"

Thaddeus; "We go to commercial now Ladies and Gentlemen, but don't go anywhere."

We come back from commercial to hear some crap music playing, the crowd now dead silent as a 5ft 10" guy comes out onto the ramp, wearing wrestling trunks and kneepads and all that shit, he makes his way down the ramp yelling "REAL WRESTLING!" All the way as its clear no one in attendence gives a fuck. He climbs into the ring.

Some generic indy wank comes on next and some big bloke in a singlet comes out next, still no one cares as the man is making his way down to the ring, yelling "SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!" all the way down.

They face each other in the ring and the bell rings.

Thaddeus; "Two guys, facing off. . ."

Commandant; "Ya!"

They grapple, the small guy going for an armlock immediately while the big guy pumps that same arm trying to play to the dead crowd.

Commandant; "Oh my sweet Jesus!"

They seperate, the small guy taking a run back, the big guy looks out into the crowd and climbs a turnbuckle, shouting out into the audience "I HAVE A CHARACTER! CHEER ME!"

The real wrestler attempts to take advantage of this, running and doing 20 flips before jumping to the top rope, both straddle there, exchanging blows, the small guy falling off, climbing to his feet and jumping back up, eventually the big guy hits him really hard and he falls off, hitting the mat and breaking his neck.

Thaddeus; "Shit, he's broke his neck!"

Commandant; "These indy guys have done far worse."

True to form, after spending 3 seconds on the mat he gets up, completely no selling the broken neck and attempting another flippy move as the audience gets into full flow. "You both suck!" "You both suck!" They chant.

Thaddeus; "Not much appreciation being shown for these hard working guys here."

Commandant; "Cooler! Two weeks!"

The crowd really start booing now, as the two have really lost the plot.

Suddenly the lights go out and whole arena starts filling with smoke, which immediately starts going out through the roof which was opened earlier by the intense fan reaction. When the lights come back on Warrior is stood between the two men, who both show abject fear of the titan of wrestling. Warrior puts a mic to his mouth.

"Bore my audience with your generic indy filth?" The small guy looks embarrassed. "Bore my audience with your generic WWE garbage?" The big guy looks embarrassed. Warrior stares them both down, "NO SELL THIS!"

Suddenly the camera blacks out as what is happening is far too violent to show on television.

 

[Whap Me Jungles]

This is actually pretty funny, interesting characters you have on commentary here. I, for some reason, enjoy the comedy Book This more than legitimate ones. This doesn't disappoint.

 

[Miko]

We come back to see a ring crew still trying to clean up the blood in the ring with a power hose while Warrior sprints up the ramp, with what at first glance looks like some especially bloody sausages in his hands but on closer inspection are Human entrails. Many of the audience are white faced in shock, while the rest cheer in exuberation, possibly reminded of the Gladiators of old.

Thaddeus; "And that ladies and gentlemen was a somewhat stern reminder that if you wrestle in this company, there are standards to be maintained." Thaddeus words are betrayed because he looks rather sick, "although perhaps that was a bit too far, what do you think Commandant?"

Commandant; "Veakness should be eradicated." He said, with his typical stern look.

Thaddeus; "Quite so, quite so."

[YOUTUBE]35l5aDGRF4s[/YOUTUBE]

The music stops playing, and the words "I am coming!" Etch themselves onto the big screen. Leaving the entire arena in confusion.

Thaddeus; What was that?

Commandant; "I am not knowing."

We cut backstage to where Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are preparing for their match, well, Nash is, Hall is leaning on the wall holding a bucket. Nash turns to him.

"Come on Scott, we got to get ready to smash DDP and Jake The Snake."

"Urrrggghhhh!"

"How dare he try to cure you of your problems, that little weasel, Steiner was always right about him."

As if in answer Hall retches into the bucket again. Nash looks into the camera and smirks.

We go to another area of the arena where Jake and DDP are preparing for their match by doing yoga, even Jake's snake is joining in.

[YOUTUBE]35l5aDGRF4s[/YOUTUBE]

Again the video stops and the words "I am coming!" Are etched onto the screen. The crowd hypes up in anticipation. While the ring announcer climbs into the ring.

"Now ladies and gentlemen, it is time for our token Women's match up, those of you who want refreshment should take this opportunity to leave."

The entire arena empties rather quickly, with one or two people left viewing the match.

Thaddeus; "A much anticipated match between two of our top female talents coming up right here."

Commandant; "Ya!"

Suddenly the screen goes to commercial.

[YOUTUBE]aoRD1wmvwUc[/YOUTUBE]

When we return we see the ring is empty.

Thaddeus; "What an absolute corker of match just then!"

Commandant; "Ya!"

[YOUTUBE]35l5aDGRF4s[/YOUTUBE]

Again, "I am coming!" etched onto the screen.

Thaddeus; "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have been plagued by these vignettes for literally minutes. I for one would like to know who is behind this."

Commandant; "If anybody knows, you should tell us, ve haff vays of making you talk!"

Thaddeus; "Haha, oh you!"

Suddenly the lights dim and the music plays again, only this time a figure makes his way to the ring and does all the stuff necessary to climb into the ring and takes a microphone. The lights go back on and a masked figure, head to toe in black stands in the ring, the audience finally shuts up enough to let the man speak.

"Once, long ago, there was a small village in Mexico," he said with a heavy hispanic accent. "And in that village there was an orphanage!"

Commandant; "Great, another rags to riches story."

The man continues, "a long time ago that village was destroyed, along with its orphanage. Every Man, Woman and Child died, all except, El Revenge!" He said, pointing at himself. "Now El Revenge seeks to punish the causers of that destruction!"

He points at the big screen. "Show them, show them who is responsible for El Revenge's pain!"

The scene opens to a huge arena, it is literally the biggest arena ever to host a wrestling show and it is bursting at the seams with a cheering crowd, a crowd so big that everyone else who thinks they've ever drawn a significant crowd at a wrestling event can go fuck themselves and they are cheering so loud I can barely hear myself type this. Almost each and everyone of them is holding an Ultimate Warrior sign, whether this is because at this point he is the only confirmed person to appear at the event or because he is that damn popular is pretty easy to answer really, its because he's that damn popular.

If you thought the audience was loud already then listen to this;

[YOUTUBE]mYZ5JcHVpa8[/YOUTUBE]

The arena literally explodes as the cheer for the Ultimate one takes the arena roof clean off, Warrior pumps his fists into the air and sprints down to the ring while the roof sails off into the air and out of sight, there are one or two concerned faces in the crowd and Warrior, being the skilled mic worker that he is, decides to address this first.

"IT'S OKAY!" He bellows, "down there is MEXICO!" He shouts, pointing in the direction the roof blew off.

This is met with a thunderous reaction as the good ol' fashion American crowd realises that no good ol' fashion Americans are going to get hurt.

"I guess TONIGHT will be an open arena show!" Another huge reaction, it seems the crowd had indeed noticed that this would be an open arena show. "I'll keep this short and sweet." Says the Ultimate one, to a dubious reaction from this crowd who could plainly listen to him speak all night. "YOU CAME HERE TO SEE WRESTLING!" A huge ovation, Warrior, as usual, hits the nail on the head, this audience did indeed come to see wrestling. "THEN I SHALL PROVIDE!"

"That is correct!" He continues amidst the silence, "The arena roof destroyed El Revenge's whole village!" He shouted. "Since that day El Revenge has trained himself in the art of wrestling, to bring Revenge against all responsible." The crowd boo's. "Especially the man Ultimately Responsible."

The crowd goes into a frenzy at that.

Thaddeus; "Oh my!"

Commandant; "Fuck!"

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

I would've promptly made an El Revenge sig if I wasn't shite at it.

Can't wait for the Ironman Match between El Revenge and Warrior. Thats the only way this storyline should/would/could make sense.