Ahh so the butterfly killed you again, that'll do it. The bloodstain isn't exactly where you die btw, it's usually a 3-4 second time delay (think the bloodstains of other people that you see scattered throughout the place) but I'm like a thousand percent sure that resting at bonfires doesn't make it go away
Yeah that place does tend to suck people into it since it is rather easy to cheese demon just past the blacksmith, plus there's a whole bunch of stuff that you can do there. A good way to know when you should be hanging around that area is when you're a high enough level that the 20000 souls you wanted earlier don't seem like that many. I take it you beat the gargoyle and rang the bell? The place the game wants you to go next is a door that was previously locked just after the Tauren demon but before the dragon that you run past. It's very very vague about that and I doubt many people figure it out without looking it up.