The Leafy PPV Review

[Leafy]

As I was wandering the halls of Wrestlezone one night I found KB's review thread having intercourse with Tenta's memorial to Horrible Gimmicks. I broke it up and asked how many times this had happened. They said many and they even had a child. They said they couldn't afford the child and would name it after me if I adopted it. Here is their horrible offspring. I present you the Leafy Crappy PPV Review. We start with a bang as we start with...

December to Dismember

Atlanta

Elimination Chamber intro, looks nice with a Heyman voice. Weapons for each person.

Bodies start to play as the pyro starts. Styles leads us in with a description of chamber. Styles and Tazz. Hey look a Spanish announce team, when they get rid of those

MNM vs Hardys

MNM make their usual entrence, not sure they were on ECW but whatever. Show hardyz beating Show with MNM beating them up afterward. Hardyz music starts to play, I miss that theme. Jeff the Intercontinental and Matt nothing, a good metaphor. I guess this is for nothing because nobody has tag belts. Love MNMs coat with the LED screens all over them.

Match starts with matt and mercury. Lock up at first, Mercury looks a lot like a preppy Tazz, the face I guess. Some mat based wrestling to start, with then everybody getting in the ring. Tag team action by the Hardyz working on Mercury’s arm. Matt back in and Nitro tags in as well. Springboard dropkick by Jeff as they tag. Spin Cycle, then with a double wheelbarrow move to Joey. Nice reversal by Nitro. A girl screams for like 5 seconds straight at a high pitch, it was the most noise the crowd made so far. Missed Shooting Star Press and Matt back in. Nitro goes to the top and Matt reverses into a Splash Mountain. Gets broken up and Matt goes after Melina to be attacked by Joey. MNM start to dominate on Matt using some double team. Melina chokes Matt as he’s on the apron. Tazz said he would like to be in a headscissors by Melina. Oh, that scream was Melina, I guess that was the primal scream as Tazz says. Matt reverses a double suplex into a neckbreaker. MNM stops the hot tag. MNM does Poetry in Motion. MNM tries for Extreme Combination but Matt reverses, Jeff hot tag. Jeff destroying Mercury doing all the signature moves. Matt knocks Mercury out to do a dive onto him. Then Nitro goes over the top rope onto both. Then Jeff jumps off the turnbuckle onto all of them. Hardyz then do Poetry in motion. Mercury rolls out of the way of Swanton. Nitro hits a springboard dropkick. Rest hold by Mercury, first one. Dancing leg drop by Nirto but kicks out at 2. Melina says up yours to the crowd after kicking Jeff. Crowd really hating MNM. Whisper in the wind on MNM. Hot tag to Matt. Side effect to Mercury and Nitro. Hits the leg drop on Nitro but kicks out at 2. Two superplexs at same time by hardyz. Melina distracts referee and Nitro hits Melina with a kick accidently, Snapshot by MNM, but Matt breaks up. Try for a supersnapshot and Matt runs in for a double neckbreaker. Jeff hits double swanton on the MNM snadwitch for the 3.
Match Grade: B+

A great tag team match from these two great tag teams. Had plenty of spots and was a great opener.

Tazz and Styles go over Elimination Chamber weapons, how is a barb wire baseball bat better then a crowbar.

Interview with RVD, talks about what he will do to win the ECW title. I would not end my career over the title Rob

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt wearing a pink sweater, hilarious. Tazz and Styles argue if it’s fuchsia or pink. Matt talks about his opponent , says he will restore order in an extreme society, says it will be under extreme enforcement of rules. Rules, no eye gouging, no hair pulling, no tope rope maneuvers, no foul language.
Mahoney comes out to the crowd chanting “Balls”, wonderful.

Match starts. Camera is attracted to Striker’s trunks, Matt’s face is on them. Balls barely leapfrogs over Matt. Locks in an armbar but Matt reaches rope. Balls yells at Matt. Matt knocks Balls in the back of the head and throws him into the post. Matt yanks Balls down by his hair after complaining of pulling of the hair. Matt is working on the arm with falling on it and armbars. Some very bad punches and kicks thrown. Side slam by Balls. Balls try to go to the top but referee distracts him long enough for Matt to shake ropes. Matt executes a very nice armbar, rolling through to get it. Balls throws some fake punches and then hits a larger missed punch. Balls then hits a spinebuster for the 3.
Match Grade: C-

This was the best you're going to get out of Striker and the best you'll get from a Mahoney regular match

Brian Pillman Commercial then showing CM Punk warming up, then switch to Sabu backstage knocked with Heyman freaking out and Sabu being put on a stretcher.

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Turkay vs. FBI

I love Burke, no idea who Turkay is but he looks scary. Elijah cuts a promo saying he’s live in living color, says Turkay is a MMA fighter, then saying an animal in heat make marks like they do. FBI make their entrance looking like jobbers.

I only know Nunzio so I’ll call the other one un-Nunzio. Elijah with Nunzio at first with Elijah still having his hat on. Nunzio steals Burke’s hat and tags in Un-Nunzio. Double arm drag to Elijah. Burke tags in Turkay so he can dominate Un-Nunzio. Nunzio tries to hit a cross body but catches him and throws him out of the ring. The fall looked nasty . Burke making FBI look like idiots. Turkay hits strong kick which makes Nunzio fly across the ring. Hot tag to Un-Nunzio . Eljah hits Elijah Experience on Un-Nunzio for the 3
Match Rating: F

After match Turkay hits a muscle buster on Un-Nunzio and Elijah starts chanting “TNA”, umm, ok. Styles even calls it a muscle buster

This was a squash match. A poor one at that. Obviously Terkay didn't last long after this.

Back to Sabu with RVD and Punk looking at the ambulance.

Daivari vs. Dreamer

Daivari comes out with Khali. Cuts a promo in Arab, or whatever country he was. Dreamer makes his entrance to EC-Dub chants, very little of them but there still there.

Daivari gets the advantage early on with Dreamer getting distracted by Khali. Dreamer hits an arm drag but Daivari rolls out of the ring. Daivari gets an eye poke and then hits a dropkick. They both roll to the outside and Daivari gets thrown into the barricade. Referee ejects Khali after seeing Khali pull the ropes down. Very boring match with Daivari hitting Dreamer on the ground. Crowd pumps Dreamer up but Daivari gets a rear naked choke. Dreamer stands up and throws himself down on top of Daivari. Daivari misses a splash. Dreamer puts him in the tree of woe and then hits the dropkick. Daivari rolls him up with the tights for the 3
Match Rating: C-

Khali comes out and beats up Dreamer, doing the Khali Bomb on the steel. Dreamer stands up by himself though but then crawls out.

A decent match that made Daivari look good.

Heyman talks to Holly offering him a spot in the chamber.

Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn and Ariel

Kelly Kelly wishes CM Punk good luck in the chamber to the dislike of Knox. Knox has no beard, I hate him. Thorn’s entrance is different to put it lightly. Tazz calls Kelly the All American Exhibitionist.

Knox and Thorn start out. I don’t know who’s the face because they boo Knox and Thorn so I guess just Kelly is the face. Back and forth until Knox hits a powerful lariat. Kelly is happy. Thorn hits a clothesline of his own. Knox hits a scoop slam and then a bicycle kick but Thorn gets his foot on the rope. Ariel tags Thorn in forcing Kelly in. Ariel then destroys Kelly with forearms and kicks. Kelly goes for the tag but Knox walks away up the ramp. I guess this is for her affection to Punk. Ariel hits a STO for the win
Match Rating: D-

Sandman comes out to stop the beatdown on Kelly. Thorn has his stick and Sandman with his cane, Styles says this could be like Star Wars. Thorn takes some nasty can shots. Sandman chases Thorn up the ramp hitting him a few more times for good measure.

This was stupid. I would prefer Knox and Thorn, one on one, than this

Interview with Lashley. Shows video from last week with Lashley beating up Show. Heyman breaks up match though then with Test coming in as well and a Goozle by Show. Lashley responds by saying words about ECW and stuff.

Then video with Big Show , Heyman, Test, and Holly. Then a video for chamber.

Heyman comes out with a SWAT team. Tazz and Styles making fun of Heyman. I guess the chamber match is now. Heyman talks about the legacy of himself and ECW. Saying he will top all chambers before this. Says the days of Original ECW has come to an end. The chamber lowers and it’s time for the main event. They explain the rules.

Big Show (champion) vs. Test vs. Lashley vs. CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam

Big Show comes out first (That makes sense) He was massive in 2006. I want gigantic Show back. Picks up barb wire baseball bat and holds it in the air. Goes into his pod and out comes CM Punk. Who knew he would have 3 world championships to his name by 2010. Taunts Big Show in front of his pod. Punk has a chair as his weapon. Out comes Test, crowd is silent. Test has a crowbar as his weapon. Last to be locked in a pod is Lashley. Big Show can reach through a hole in his pod reaching at Lashley as Bobby goes to his pod with his table. That means we will start with Hardcore Holly and Rob Van Dam. They lock the chamber and this thing is on. Back and forth with Holly and Van Dam. Styles reminds us of Holly’s cut by the table in that one match, that was nasty. RVD does a great spot where he springboards at Holly and misses but catches the cage and jumps back at him but hits the ropes. Holly throws RVD into the cage. Holly goes to the top and just falls off and RVD hits him in the face. Rolling Thunder over the top rope outside the cage onto Holly. Suplex over the rope to RVD. CM Punk comes out with his chair. Throwing it at Holly and hitting RVD with a springboard. RVD then picks up the chair and nails Punk. RVD does the monkey flip on the chair. Fame Asser on to the chair by Punk to RVD, busting him open. Throws him into the chair when it was wedged into the corner. Holly puts Punk on the top rope then hits a superplex. Crowd tries to pump RVD up but he is bloody . Out comes Test, ready to hit Punk in the gut. The prying Van Dam’s face with his crowbar. RVD comes back to hurt Holly and then hits Test with the chair and hits the skater on Punk. RVD goes to the top and hits the 5 star on Punk for the 3. Punk is eliminated. Then Test hits Holly with a boot and eliminates him, turns around and RVD does the flying kick to Test. RVD goes to the top of the chamber but Show grabs his feet through the mesh. Test throws RVD off the pod. Test hits a flying elbow drop off the pod with the chair onto RVD eliminating him. That was insane. Lashley is supposed to get out but Heyman’s SWAT team knock out the referee. Lashley starts hitting the top of his pod with his table making a hole in it. He crawls out and kicks Test in the face, then hits a flying clothesline. He throws Test through the pod and taunts Show. Tazz how did their plan backfire? It slowed him down didn’t it? Stupid Tazz. Test picks up the chair but gets hit in the face. Lashley picks up the crowbar and nails Test in the gut and finishes him off with a spear. Only Lashley and Show left. Lashley pulls out his table and brings it into the ring then throwing it at Big Show’s pod. Out comes Big Show with his bat. Big Show trying to kill Lashley with the bat but it gets stuck in the cage. He throws Show through the pod busting him open. Show throws Lashley into the ring and gains the advantage. He sets up for the chokeslam but Lashley hits the DDT. Lashley hits the spear for the 3. Lashley is your new ECW Champion.

Match Rating: A-

I loved this match. Maybe I'm a sucker for spots and weapon shots but this match provided a great title win for Lashley.

PPV Rating: C

This PPV had it's low spots but the Chamber and the opener save this from being horrible.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Ahh, Shuffleboad, not wiffle bat.

I'll reply because npbody else has, and you'vewritten my name more over the past couple of days than I have since I left high school.

I didn't read your review, too long for me. But three years ago I basically said that December To Dismember was the worst booked show of all time, but not even the worst show of 2006. I think I said that Cyber Sunday was worse. Mostly because it was a properly booked show which produced no quality matches. My reasoning for thinking it was the worst of the year was that Rated RKO, D-X and other were a whole lot better than the talent on display at D2D and they should've produced something of quality. And while December 2 Dismember was a poor show overall, the Elimination Chamber & Hardy matches were perfectly entertaining.

I'd still give it a shit rating like an F- or something.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

The only match I remember form this ppv(and that's because it was so bad) was the Elimination Chamber match. This was around the time when Lashley was on a roll, and also probably the last time he was actually entertaining to watch. It was a great decision to put the belt on Lashley. If I remember correctly, after this match, Show took time off to rehab injuries, and Test (RIP) really never seemed to be able to be "the guy" even though he had a totally different look around this time.

The match it self was pretty damn good. There was blood, brutality, and mayhem. All the things that make an Elimination Chamber great.

 

[Leafy]

Not doing bad PPVs anymore and this is not as good as my last review but whatever. Today I'm reviewing

Summerslam 2002
Long Island

Angle vs. Mysterio

Angle out first in the pinstripe attire that I hate. Mysterio comes out from the crowd and hits a hurricanara to Angle. Leapfrog from the corner but Kurt locks in the ankle lock. Angle wants to break the ankle of Rey for some reason. Angle dodges a 619 and drags Rey to the floor. This match has started fast paced but is slowing down as Kurt draws some heat. Rey tries a wheelbarrow bulldog but Angle hits a suplex. Angle is reversing all of Rey’s moves, makes Rey look like an idiot. Angle gets a sick half boston crab on Rey almost bending him in half. Angle has been dominating this entire match, I’m expecting a Rey turnaround any moment. And here it is but Angle hits a belly to belly then taking the straps down. Angle Slam into an arm drag throwing Angle out of the ring. Ref stops the Plancha. But Rey goes over the ref hitting the angle with a front flip plancha. Putting Angle back in the ring and hitting a springboard leg drop for a 2. Rey hits the 619 for the 2. Rey goes to the top and Angle runs at him but Rey hits a triangle dropkick. Rey tries for another move but Kurt gets the ankle for the submission victory.

B+
Great match with different styles making each other look good.

Steph in the back talking to a worker telling him to talk to Eric but Eric is in her office. They talk some trash about each other and sit down to watch the next match.

Jericho vs Flair

King welcomes us back to the Raw side of Smackdown. Good ol King. Jericho comes out first to heat. We see some footage of Flair using a trash can but Chris getting revenge and then Flair interrupting a Fozzy concert. Ric Flair comes out decked with the famous coat. He’s 52 here and this is his first SS match. Starts out with slapping by Flair and then transitions by mat wrestling for a 1 count for Flair. Jericho hits a back body drop with Flair almost landing on his head. JR is dissing Fozzy, as Jericho skins the cat turning around to a Flair chop. Jericho was only 2 when Flair started wrestling, that’s a weird fact that sorta scares me. Jericho hits a axe handle on Flair to the outside. Missile Drop Kick for a 2 by Jericho. He then take tape off his wrist and chokes Flair when the Ref is distracted. Flair throws Jericho off the top and knocking him down with some chops. Jericho almost gets the walls but Flair gets an inside cradle for the 2. Sloppy bulldog followed by a missed lionsault and Flair almost gets the walls in. Jericho locks in the Figure 4 with Flair tapping out but also grabbing the ropes. Ref bump followed by a low blow by Flair and a tap out by Chris to the Figure 4.

B
Hard to follow up Angle vs. Mysterio but Flair and Chris brought it with a solid match

We see Brock warming up with Paul talking about how he killed Hogan’s carrer and how he’s going to kill Rock’s career because Rock is different. This sounds a little racist. Whatever. Brock is a monster.

Eddie vs. Edge
Eddie coming out first to no reaction. I guess he’s a heel according to the signs in the audience. “Deport Eddie” and “Dirtiest Mullet” Edge comes out to a good reaction so I’m correct. Cole calls Edge the future of Smackdown and he couldn’t be more correct. Flapjack by Edge to start this match and hits a scoop slam for the 2. Edge ties Eddie in the ropes and hits a spear on him but tries again and goes to the floor. Eddie is working the shoulder of Edge by throwing him into the steps. Eddie hits a top rope DDT for the 2. Lots of rest holds right now and Edge hits a snapmare to stop hit but Eddie locks in the Armbar. Edge is starting to bleed from the shoulder and Eddie is dominating him still working on the shoulder. Edge hits a snap powerslam to buy him some time and keeps Eddie down with clothesline. Edge hits the half nelson facebuster for the 2 and then hits a suplex to the outside. Edge goes to the top and hits a flying shoulder block to Eddie to the outside. Edge hits a top rope suplex facebuster for the 2 and Edge goes to the corner for the spear. Before he can hit is Eddie hits him in the face with a dropkick. Frog Splash gets the knees and Edge hits the Edgecution for the 2. Eddie goes to the top hitting a frog splash on just the injured shoulder for the 2. Edge hits the spear for the 3.
B+
I really liked this match. Liked the shoulder story and the great mat work made this match.

Jamie Noble and Nidia are having a make out contest with the winner making out with Nidia. Some guy wins. Back to Steph and Eric talking about where women should be in the business, on top. I guess it’s a sex joke.

RVD vs. Benoit
Before this match even starts I have high hopes for this match. This is a Raw vs. Smackdown match for the Intercontinental title. Benoit representing Smackdown and RVD RAW. RVD starts dominating with some kicks and Benoit rolls to the outside. Rest hold really early in the match, not good. RVD rolls over a spear and hits a springboard crossbody. Beautiful German by Benoit, RVD landing on his head. Backbreaker by Benoit for the 2. Amazing snap suplex and then Benoit locks in an armbar. Benoit bleeding from the mouth from an early kick by RVD. This match is okay so far but I really expected better from these athletes. Benoit goes to the top but RVD sits up before the connection. Now RVD goes to the top and receives the same results as Benoit. Benoit locks in the crossface but RVD gets the leg on the rope. RVD goes for the missledrop kick but Benoit pushes him to the outside. Back in the ring Benoit hits a shoulderbreaker. The crowd is watching a fight in the crowd or something because nobody is looking at the match. RVD tries for the handspring splash but Benoit locks in the crossface but RVD gets out. Benoit hits 3 northern light suplexs and locks in the crossface at the end of them but RVD escapes and locks in his own crossface but Benoit escapes quickly. RVD hits the rolling thunder for the 2. Both on the top now and Benoit tries for the super back suplex but RVD turns it into a crossbody and then hits the frog splash for the 3.
Grade: B+, I expected a lot and the end made me see how good of athletes these two are.

Undertaker vs. Test
I don’t want to watch this match so I’m just giving it a C-

Next is HBK vs. HHH in an unsanctioned fight
This is his first match in 4 years if JR is right. I don’t understand unsanctioned matches, how is this match not happening if they have their entrances and there is a referee. HBK starts off early with a spear. HBK hits a plancha on to HHH. HBK pulls out a trash can but HHH hits a low blow. Back in the ring HBK hits HHH with a trash can and then hits a double axe handle off the top. HHH dodges sweet chin music and HHH hits a backbreaker. According to JR a broken back is hard to get over. HHH hits a crotch chop while HBK is kneeling. I case you didn’t notice I don’t like either of these men, just never got into their matches. He uses a chair on HBK. DDT on a chair by HHH busting open HBK. HBK has hit like two moves, what an exciting match. 2 minutes after that last statement HBK still has not hit another move. HBK hits a low blow before a pedigree making me slightly excited but it dies down because they both just lay there. This is why I hate their matches, poor wrestling at the beginning and the finishers and signature moves the rest of the time followed by laying in pools of blood for half the match. Now it’s HBK’s turn to dominate, I really don’t like this match. Again another match I’m just going to skip, you have a problem with it? Too bad.
Grade: D, I’m sure some people loved this match, just not the wrestling I like to see. Not entirely hardcore but not good wrestling, sounds like a good match.

Now The Finkster says he needs to get something off his chest. People poo all over him and I feel sorry for him. Then Trish comes out with her tits in all their glory. Fink says why did she slap him and why she pushed him in mud, calling the entire arena skanks. She calls him sexy and he says she got the puppies and he’s got a wiener. That’s good, just great. Lillian appears behind him and slaps him. I don’t know what just happened.

Next is the main event of Lesnar vs. Rock.
Not doing a play by play like I usually do but I really liked this match. I was confused as to who the face was because Lesnar cheated and The Rock was booed, but it didn’t tarnish the match quality. Lesnar was made to be a monster and The Rock still looked good
Grade: B

PPV Grade: B+, this provided so many good midcard matches it was amazing. The only things making this a B is the Test match and my hatred of all HHH vs. HBK matches.