The cost of "confronting" bullying.

[LSN80]

For a Pittsburgh teen with developmental issues such as comprehension delays and anxiety disorders, the cost was a $25.00 fine, a disorderly conduct conviction, and a felony charge of wiretapping. The latter was dismissed, but the teenager is due in court in 8 days to appeal the disorderly conduct conviction.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/04/1...ding-alleged-bullying-to-sue-school-district/

Christian Stanfield is a 15 year old student in a Pittsburgh school(South Fayette High School)who had been bullied for months. When he went to teachers and his principal, he was told there was nothing they could do about it. So Stanfield himself did something about it.

When another of the (almost) daily bullying events began in February, Stanfield used his Ipad to record it, seven minutes in length overall. Finally having the proof he needed to get the bullying to stop, he took the recording to school officials. His hope was that finally, he had the leverage needed to get the bullying to stop, and his tormentors punished.

What he got instead was being greeted with hostility. Principal Scott Milburn gave Stanfield detention, and ordered him to erase the recording. After consulting with Superintendent Bille Pearce Rondinelli, they called the police and requested illegal felony wiretapping charges be filed against Stanfield. When told that Stanfield had violated no wiretapping laws, the school instead pushed for disorderly conduct charges, which were obtained. Stanfield explained using his Ipad to tape the bullying:

"I did it because I always felt like it wasn't me being heard. I wanted some helpThis wasn't just a one-time thing. This always happens every day in that class.”

Unless it was Stanfield inciting the bullying with something he said or did on this particular occasion, I can't grasp how he was charged with disorderly conduct, or the school saw it that way. I don't like to speculate, but if this was something that had been going on for months and nobody had done anything, I could see the school protecting their own, -meaning the teachers- and that being the reason they pursued charges against Stanfield, rather then protecting him.

Stanfield's mother, Shea Love, also commented on this:

“What I want is for heads to roll. But he said to me, ‘Mom, it might make you feel better if people get fired, but that won’t change anything.’ He said there needs to be more compassion for people and changes to the zero tolerance policy. I want people’s heads to roll, but my son doesn’t and I have to respect his wishes.”

From appearances, that's a pretty mature kid for age 15. Stanfield is of normal intelligence, which is important to be noted. His special needs are due to his comprehension delay, ADHD, and multiple anxiety disorders. His mother also commented on this:

"He has a low processing speed, the way he does everything is very slow. And some people get very frustrated by that.”

It takes a special type of teacher to work with kids with special needs. My dad did so for 35 years and while he is retired, he still substitutes. From what he and my uncle have told me, you have to love working with special needs children, or they will burn you out fast. My friend Carrie has just one special education class a day, and it's a battle for her to get through it. But she does it because no one else at her school who teaches the subject she teaches them wants to, not out of love. From what I've gathered from her, frustration tolerance is generally lower for such kids. As a result, teachers don't want to hear their complaints, and the end outcome is that many of these students act out in order to be heard.

I don't know what the case is here, to be honest. It strikes me as odd that Stanfield would be hit with a disorderly conduct charge and the school would be looking into wiretapping charges if he was only the victim. However, my personal experience with these situations is low, so it's hard for me to say. I do know my dad has said that unless a teacher has specific training with special needs students, they are often clued out with how to work with them.

But going from the report alone, the boy's teachers, principal, the police and the judge all dropped the ball here. Sometimes, it's takes just one group(say, the principal, for example)to mishandle or not clearly understand the situation, and it snowballs from there. Christian Stanfield's school records show that he has no previous behavioral problems, nor disciplinary action taken against him. Not even a detention.

Until now, that is. Due back in court on April 29th to appeal the verdict, all Shea Love is looking for is an apology, and she won't sue.

"This has been just devastating. I’m a single mom — it’s just him and I — and I feel like they were just trying to get us to shut up. Until people started caring, they didn’t care — and that’s pretty sad. Hopefully they will [apologize], but judging from past actions, I don’t think they will. Every day he goes to school now and I just wait for a call. It sucks.”

How hard it must be, as a mother, to have your son bullied in the past, to fear it moreso in the future? If I were Shea Love, I would certainly fear it, knowing it's happened before and no action has been taken. If I were her, though she says she would prefer not to, I would likely sue myself. Family attorney Jonathan Steele told Fox News he expects to do just that:

"The damage is done. In terms of an apology, that’d be great, but the student has already suffered psychological damage, emotional trauma and increased therapy, which he truly needs because of what happened to him. He feels like a criminal.”

Being that the conviction of disorderly conduct is on his juvenile record, technically, he already is a criminal.

The school has not made any comments- from the Principal to the Superintendent- on this case.

Were any of you bullied as high school students? If so, can you relate with the way Stanfield must have been feeling, and the decision he made to record the bullying?


How do you believe it wound up that the boy was charged with disorderly conduct?

(As an aside, I live near South Fayette High School, about 20 minutes away. It is probably the worst high school in the area, which is saying something in the Pittsburgh area. More likely then not, I can see the school wanting to sweep complaints of bullying under the rug, so as not to start more problems. If these students had been disciplined, I believe, the bullying would likely have intensified in said school. I know I'm stereotyping here, but I'm familiar with several kids and the families of the kids who attend there.)

Would you have done similar if you were in Christian Stanfield's shoes? If no, what would you have done?

If you were Shea Love, would you now sue, no matter the verdict?

The questions are just to be considered, answer them, or not. Any thoughts or discussion over this story are welcome.

 

[Reflection]

Life is unfair my man, its a mean and nasty place. The sooner we learn it and adapt to it, the better it is for us. This is just another example of the "chariot wheels of justice" rolling and crushing somebody underneath it. What you would have done or what I would have done or what any of us would have done in his case ... does it even matter? What has happened has happened, they will continue to keep happening. News channels will broadcast it and debate about it as long as they get good ratings; once that falls, they will drop the subject and move on to another sensational news. Its a damn shame what has happened to the kid, but thats the reality of life.

 

[Slash-LN]

I got bullied from 3rd grade through 8th grade at two different schools. I learned really early on that going to teachers either makes no difference or makes things worse so I ended up in a lot of fights instead.

A few kids tried to give me a hard time in high school at one of the schools I went to but I had none of it. I didn't ever get physical at that school but I definitely verbally let it be known I wasn't going to take it.

Most of the kids I went to junior high with had kind of outgrown bullying by high school and the kids that tried to give me a hard time had gone to other junior highs.

When I went to my second high school it was somewhat of a fresh start and people were really cool to me but I tried to help out the kids who got bullied. Some of the kids that I went to grade school with went to school at that high school but none of them even bothered me.

I think this kid did the best thing he could have done by recording the incident. It's really shitty that he's getting punished in this case when he's the victim. That's about the stupidest thing that could happen.

He could have showed up with a gun and started shooting. The school would have acted like they never knew he was bullied even though he had gone to them already.

Everyone involved should face some sort of punishment. Not the kid and the mom of course but everyone else who dropped the ball big time on this.

 

[Dirk]

Numbered for my own ease of reference

1) Were any of you bullied as high school students? If so, can you relate with the way Stanfield must have been feeling, and the decision he made to record the bullying?


2) How do you believe it wound up that the boy was charged with disorderly conduct?


3) Would you have done similar if you were in Christian Stanfield's shoes? If no, what would you have done?

4) If you were Shea Love, would you now sue, no matter the verdict?

1) More in primary school, so it wasn't nearly as serious. As twelve year-olds, there was only so much damage my bullies and I could physically do to each other. What I will say is that being a teen is hard enough, and adding learning difficulties and social problems to the mix must be a pain in the ass. I'm pretty sure it was a desperation move on Stanfield's part.

What was the nature of the bullying, though? I feel it's an important question. Various levels would be the kids calling him stupid all the way through to beating him up. One isn't so bad, the other sucks.

2) That is some ol' bullshit. When I first skimmed through the article, I assumed he beat up his bully, but he didn't even do that! What the fucking fuck? I don't think judgement is applied evenly... If Stanfield gets disorderly conduct for making a recording that didn't hurt anybody or reveal sensitive information (Patriot Act vibes and whatnot), then his bully should get charged with assault or attempted murder (this is how severely I see Stanfield being punished in comparison).

3) Like I said, we were twelve, so it's not remotely the same, but I was beat up by the same couple of assholes, always a group at a time (I was a fast grower). What I did was I got my friends to even the odds and in hindsight, it was the pussy, middle-class, primary school version of gang violence, obviously with nobody getting worse than a bloody nose or black eye.

Now, as to what Stanfield did, to me it looks like he went through all the proper channels and didn't get what he needed/wanted. But now it gets back to what exactly was done to him... Was he called names? Was his possessions vandalised? Was his threatened or was he indeed beat up? What was done to him should largely determine his level of frustration and desperation.

4) If I were his mother, I would not sue. This isn't something I wish to go into much further, but (and I say this without wishing to offend) it is my belief that the West has an unhealthy obsession with litigation. I simply fail to agree that the money that civil cases like these want matches the emotional pain Stanfield went through.

 

[#tamale]

Life is unfair my man, its a mean and nasty place. The sooner we learn it and adapt to it, the better it is for us. This is just another example of the "chariot wheels of justice" rolling and crushing somebody underneath it. What you would have done or what I would have done or what any of us would have done in his case ... does it even matter? What has happened has happened, they will continue to keep happening. News channels will broadcast it and debate about it as long as they get good ratings; once that falls, they will drop the subject and move on to another sensational news. Its a damn shame what has happened to the kid, but thats the reality of life.

This is nonsense.

People can join together, create twitters, write manifestos, boo main events, sign petitions, all to support a popular wrestler. However, when it comes to a true lack of justice in this situation we say "oh well, the world sucks and we can't do anything." So people can believe that they can push Daniel Bryan into the main event or get Nancy Grace off TV, but not support this teenager who went through every channel to find help and was denied every time?

It's not just a denial. They pursue a felony charge and after not obtaining it go for disorderly conduct charges which they obtained. A person who is a victim of bullying is being screwed over because of an administration that wants to protect it's own instead of protecting a student. Yes, this world has many fucked up things happen on a daily basis, but we can help prevent these type of actions in the future if we show our support for this teenager.

The teen is due to appear in court on April 29 at the Pittsburgh Court of Common Pleas to appeal the disorderly conduct conviction. If those charges are dropped and school officials apologize, Love said she won’t file a civil lawsuit against the district.

The mother does not feel that the school will apologize and she should file a civil lawsuit to help her son get out of that area and find the education that her son requieres to get ahead in life.

 

[JWGunslinger]

Were any of you bullied as high school students? If so, can you relate with the way Stanfield must have been feeling, and the decision he made to record the bullying?
I wasn't bullied in the form that this kid was where it was ongoing, but I did deal with a few meatheads who wanted to/tried to. I can relate however to his issue of not knowing what to do when going to teachers did nothing for him. The general reaction I've heard from teacher in the shoes of the student and a teacher have always been along the lines of,"don't fight back, tell a teacher or ignore it". But those brilliant words of wisdom don't always work(rarely actually) and students need to improvise regardless of the school's laughable discipline.



How do you believe it wound up that the boy was charged with disorderly conduct?
At the risk of sounding like a complete pessimist, this is just like every other story we hear on the news these days because morals and common sense have taken a backseat to PC. We're living in a society where if one kid goes up to another at school and starts wailing on him, and said kid fights back to defend himself from more bodily harm he is punished just as much. Until people snap out of this crap in all situations including work,school and general public conduct stuff like this will continue and it's a damn shame.



Would you have done similar if you were in Christian Stanfield's shoes? If no, what would you have done?
I probably would have done the same, he thought logically and showed some real ingenuity to record it when going to the teachers(which they preach is what you should do) got him nothing. I applaud him on taking the initiative and proving his point.




If you were Shea Love, would you now sue, no matter the verdict?
.
You may think because of my heated stance toward this situation I would want them to sue for every penny, quite the contrary. Part of the greater issue I speak of is people suing left and right, thinking that because some one does something that hurts your feelings you can take their money in a court room. Were I in her shoes I would make a stand to resolve this ridiculous issue and make sure it wouldn't happen to another kid. It's not a money issue, the issue is a BS prosecution and once that is settled then that should be the end of it.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Were any of you bullied as high school students? If so, can you relate with the way Stanfield must have been feeling, and the decision he made to record the bullying?

I can certainly relate what Stanfield is going through as I was bullied when I was in Catholic School. It would almost always be physical so at first I fought back, until I was told the next time I fight back I would be expelled which just made things worse. The kids bullying me seem to get away with it but because I didn't want to get expelled I didn't do anything. This went on for years until finally I decided that dealing with this is worse than getting expelled, after that I just didn't care. For the next few months if someone picked on me I would deck them, if someone mouthed me off I mouthed off even more. It certainly got me in trouble a lot but at the same time I was a lot happier and wasn't a nervous basket case anymore.

In regards to Stanfield I think he went about it in a much more civil way and got punished for it. The fact of the matter is he shouldn't have to put up with that shit. He didn't start a fight, he didn't resort to violence, he tried to take care of the situation in the most peaceful way possible and now he's got court dates because apparently his school cares more about a kid doing detective work instead of trying to solve the problem in the first place. I get Stanfield broke the rules and for that I can certainly understand why the school wouldn't be happy with him recording other students but it seems to me the principal is more concerned with a kids desperate attempt to get this bullying to stop than he is about the actual bullying and that is grade A horseshit.

How do you believe it wound up that the boy was charged with disorderly conduct?

Because the school throws common sense out the window and strictly looks at the rule book in black and white. I've always felt this is a very bad way to do things and as a result it often causes more problems than it solves. It's not so much Stanfield got in trouble that upsets me, its the fact that the school seems to be ignoring what brought Stanfield to that point and all that school has done has made the situation much worse as a result, the kids will probably bully Stanfield more and Stanfield will think he can't do anything about the bullying, just sit there and take it.

Would you have done similar if you were in Christian Stanfield's shoes? If no, what would you have done?

Going by what I said earlier violence and I still stand by that at 28. I know its not a good idea, it's not the way to teach kids how to solve their problems but sometimes you just gotta throw down and stand up for yourself, especially in school. At every school I've ever been in its Darwinism through and through, because of that the best way to get people to stop picking on you is finding the kid who picks on you and emasculate his ass in front of as many people as possible. Fighting should always be a last resort, even as a kid I would say that but once a certain line is crossed you either stand up or crumble. It may not be civil but nothing stops bullying like a good ass whipping.

If you were Shea Love, would you now sue, no matter the verdict?

I'm not sure if I would sue but I would certainly go after that school, the school board and the principal for putting her kid through that kind of mental torture. The school sweeping bullying like that under the rug is ludicrous and although its not on paper it looks like downright favoritism. Personally, I would not stop until that principal is fired.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

I've been "bullied" my entire life. Yet I'm not sitting in a corner in a fetal position. why? Because I learned to take care of myself and was able to defend myself. Other people aren't so lucky as I was in that regard so it's really difficult for them to cope with the teasing and the making fun. Believe you me I know what that's like. You can't go to anybody because nobody gives a shit. When people give a shit, then you'll see a difference in how society deals with bullies.

 

[GeneralKarim]

O shit yea I was bullied. Because of my arabic name I was teased a lot in school. But, thankfully, I got a bit of a temper ( all my family has ), at some point I just bursted at got into a lot of fights that the people making fun of my didnt expect so naturally the bullying calmed down. Fuck I remember like me sitting in place in the class room and like 4-5 guys coming buy and just hitting me in the head for no reason.

I ve also protected people from getting bullied. Like a poor kid who was always screamed at "WOMAN go get me food/or w/e mcdonalds" (and he was a fucking boy). And that happened every single fucking day. So I always knew in the back of my mind that those boys who were doing that, werent really tough guys. Hell neither was I, but I actually was in fights in my neighborhood ( not that I liked it, it's just that was the situation given to me + my fucking temper that is now more controllable ).

Good thing in my country, back then, and even now, things arent so pc, yet. People just got beat up, just got bulllied and they had to deal with it, as Mr.Tista would say.

I never told teachers tho because I never really saw the point. What this kid did was good. He took the problem into his own hands. But ofc got punished for it by a fucked up system.

I think bullying to an extent is ok. I think bullying in a way shows were your place is. Mb you are a nerd and u just dont know it yet. Mb you are a dude who is just a big guy who is dumb as fuck but good at sports. I was kinda the middle pack guy.

But when it gets out of hand I think it needs to get addressed. If I ever have a kid, first thing I'll do is send him to fucking karate school/mma school w/e. I want him to be someone who can protect himself.

 

[Chardee Macdennis]

This whole bullying issue is getting so out of hand it's actually becoming dangerous to send your kids to school. I have always been of the opinion that kids need to learn to stick up for themselves and maybe even learn a life lesson at an early age. However, these days, sticking up for ones self turns into mass murder. At this point any tragedy occurring in schools is almost always tied into bullying in one form or another.

Take the Franklin Regional incident for example. People were absolutely amazed that the first responses were that the kid was not in fact bullied. It seems as though it's almost come to be expected that anytime a kid snaps, bullying was the cause.

I certainly don't know how to solve this epidemic, but it is something that has garnered mass media attention and is now on everyone's radar. The problem is that none of these anti-bullying campaigns seem to be working. I don't know the answer, but it's certainly become a major problem in this country. I never thought I'd be saying this because I used to think the kids just needed to learn how to grow thicker skin and fight back, but now I don't think that's the answer at all.

 

[ChrisNGibbs]

This is an issue with the school system. They can't do anything to the bully but they can do something to the victim if they fight back.

Out in the world the bully would get charged with assault or battery if they beat someone up.

What the hell is the school system so afraid of?

 

[Vader]

At the risk of sounding like my grandpa, what happened to standing up to a bully? While you may not get shoved in the mud, slapped, or wedgies in the adult world; in your private and business dealings with individuals on a daily basis you are going to come across some who would take advantage of you. Should the kid shoot up the school? Absolutely not. However, standing up for yourself physically at that age has lasting implications for the rest of your life. What will this kid do when he is older and the bullying is less overt but could have bigger implications aside from just ruining his day?

Should the school authorities do something about it? Of course. But more importantly this kid should learn sooner rather than later that he cannot rely on authorities for protection, the onus for him is on him. Police etc., do not prevent crimes, they show up after the fact.

This kid needs to standup and fight this bully, if he gets his ass kicked then it sounds like that's happening on a daily basis anyway. It's not worth the shame and mental effects letting this continue. It's what's best for the personal development of the kid, and for the bully so that he learns this kind of behavior is not acceptable.

I was bullied in middle school, until I started wrestling and then it all went away. My grandpa did golden gloves and was more disappointed in me for not fighting back then getting in trouble in school. I'm not trying to pass myself off as billy bad ass, but I plan on teaching my kids every bit of BJJ Blue belt, wrestling, Marine Corps Martial Arts, and Judo Brown belt knowledge that I have.

There are 14 year olds in the Middle East fighting ISIS, in this country they sit around in suburbs getting type 2 diabetes.

We've raised generations of passive males that were either raised by women, dead beat dads, or dads that might as well not have been there in the first place. No one teaches these kids how to standup for themselves which is vastly more important 90% of the math they spend so much time on, and their only recourse is to snitch and make problems worse for themselves or eventually snap.

 

[Torgo]

At the risk of sounding like my grandpa, what happened to standing up to a bully?

oh, no,no,no,no,no. In this day and age of political correctness, a kid who fights a bully in fisticuffs will be immidiatly suspended and punished. Even worse, the bully's parents are likely to get the law on you, because their little baby couldnt have been being a scumbag asswipe.

How do I know? I read it daily. A kid actually stands up to some failed abortion, then gets punished while the bully gets off scot free. Makes me sick.

How the hell are teachers so damn incompetent that, even with solid evidence, they punish the wrong guy.

 

[Vader]

Again, generation of men raised by women and we rely on institutions to keep us safe. Maybe if kids realized getting suspended is basically paid vacation it wouldn't matter...

 

[Kodo Sawaki]

Were any of you bullied as high school students? If so, can you relate with the way Stanfield must have been feeling, and the decision he made to record the bullying?

Yes, but not in his way. I was always a fighter type so even if I gone out with few bruises I fought. Plus that was elementary, past 7th grade we all kinda grow up so didnt have too much confrontations and not even one fight. Afterward I was gone to very good school and didnt had problems of that kind.

How do you believe it wound up that the boy was charged with disorderly conduct?

School is protecting herself. Unfortunatly, in a very bad maner.

Would you have done similar if you were in Christian Stanfield's shoes? If no, what would you have done?

He did fine. I wouldnt erase a video and sue their asses at school.

If you were Shea Love, would you now sue, no matter the verdict?

O yeah. Special needs kid whos being bullied not just by his classmates but his school aproved that and punishes him for being bullied so in a way they bullied him too? In America with good lawyer that case would be 100% win.

 

[TheICChampion]

Oh yeah, I was bullied a lot throughout school, even though I was never quite honestly sure why. I never bothered fighting back, because I knew these fucking morons weren't worth my time.