Sperm Banks

[HBK-aholic]

When taken out of context I could understand what you say(I did however type "just because"). Let me be clear: If it was solely base on the WANT then yes, it's selfish.

I still don't understand why. What other reason could people use to having a child? Carry on the famiily name? People have children because they WANT them. Especially in circumstances like this.

Well, I do think it's unfair for a child to grow up in a single parent family, more so if it can be avoided, and especially when deliberate.

Ever think the child may want two parents? Honestly, why would a child prefer only one fantastic parent to having two fantastic parents?

-"Hey Dad? I need a mom, how come I don't have one?"

-"Eh, I didn't feel like it, but I still wanted you, really badly. Sorry 'bout that."
​

Call me crazy, but it seems unfair (to the child) to me.

I don't think it's unfair. Some children are happy growing up with only one parent. It'd stop questions as to where the other is if there were 2, which I agree are tricky. But I don't think that should stop a single woman having a baby.

Unfair to the single parent?
How can something self imposed be unfair?
If its so "unfair" don't do it in the first place.

I didn't mean to imply they would find it unfair. I mean looking in, as I am, it would seem unfair to them, more so than the child.

 

[LigerBomb]

I still don't understand why. What other reason could people use to having a child? Carry on the famiily name? People have children because they WANT them. Especially in circumstances like this.

selfish

1. Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

solely

1. Alone; singly
2. Entirely; exclusively

If somebody creates a life solely based on WANT, as I have already stated, it is a selfish act.

I don't think it's unfair. Some children are happy growing up with only one parent. It'd stop questions as to where the other is if there were 2, which I agree are tricky. But I don't think that should stop a single woman having a baby.

So regardless of the child's possible want for two parents, the single person shouldn't let it stop them from doing what they want instead, and just hope the child will be satisfied and be part of those "some children".
Gotcha...

And why are those questions tricky I wonder?

I didn't mean to imply they would find it unfair. I mean looking in, as I am, it would seem unfair to them, more so than the child.

Looking in, why do you think the single parent would find it unfair?

 

[The Snake]

I'll post my views on the single parent idea.

My parents broke up when I was about 10, and I have not seen my father since, so I know what it is to have both a single parent and a family. Which did I prefer? I preferred having a father, I believe it has severely affected my school progress (I am still a very good student with grades, but I am not hitting the top grade in every exam like I was when I was 8/9 years old), as well as I have had no male role model in my life to look up to while I was going through a major period of my life. Truth be told, 2 parents would be greater than 1 in my life, my mother has a boyfriend who I completely detest, so I have not had an exceedingly happy period only having 1 parent due to this. Of course, my mother isolated is a wonderful parent, if I need money, books, advice or want to go to a movie, Im sure I can rely on her to do things for me - But I have noone to play sport, play video games, have playfights with, even if I have grown up from doing those kind of things, I will never experience my first trip to the pub with a dad (Im a teetotaller, but I would like to go to one), or be able to watch a big sports match with him.

Well, I have experienced both sides, and of course I was not conceived via IVF or Artificial Insemination, but I think that there is issues with single parenting, would this change if a foursome wanted to have a child or 10 people, there are relationships like this that exist and if they wanted children due to being infertile then less people would find this acceptable, and I would agree, too many parents could be a huge problem, but people exclude minorites from such debates, when it would be good to focus on them.

Something I would be happy to be the system would be a "proper persons test" of sorts, followed by being a foster parent for a while, in the case of singles, I think data would prove that single parents have a lot more to do than couples do, especially when they have to earn and things - We should test them out before allowing them to. It's a tough subject, HBK-aholic is more right than the other posters from what I have seen, especially seeing as she has first hand experience like myself of this - And I'm sure we would both agree we have wonderful parents, I don't want to assume things or invade her privacy in any way, but I think she might be happier with 2 parents of her mothers quality rather than just 1 (again, apologies if I said something out of place there, I'm not really qualified to speak for someone), and that is also my opinion, however we can flip this and say 1 good parent is better than 2 bad ones, hell even 1 bad parent is better than 2 bad ones, so in some cases 1 parent is better.

This has deviated into quite a sensitive, but extremely good discussion, long may it continue.